1 00:00:12,328 --> 00:00:15,132 Esta noche, tiramos una silla por encima de un arbusto 2 00:00:15,728 --> 00:00:19,332 Un hombre muy interesante conduce nuestro auto de precio razonable 3 00:00:19,528 --> 00:00:25,432 Y, por primera vez, el Bugatti Veyron corre contra el Mc Laren F1 4 00:00:31,872 --> 00:00:34,484 Gracias, gracias a todos, gracias! 5 00:00:34,672 --> 00:00:36,884 Hola, hola y bienvenidos! 6 00:00:39,872 --> 00:00:48,384 Ahora, cada año 50,000 muchachos de 17 años de edad obtienen su licencia y deben comprar su primer auto, ok? 7 00:00:48,524 --> 00:00:53,332 Y como tienen 17, el auto que quieren debe ser deportivo, cool y preferiblemente con turbo 8 00:00:53,872 --> 00:00:59,300 Trouble is, their parents want them- to have something that is slow, cheap and safe. 9 00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:02,520 And the insurance companies would rather they didn't have anything at all. 10 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,628 So, to sort all this out, the producers gave us each a typical budget of £2,500, 11 00:01:06,668 --> 00:01:09,116 told us to pretend we were 17-year-olds 12 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:12,720 and then go out there and buy cars that would please us as 17-year-olds, 13 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,912 our parents and the man from the Pru. 14 00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:20,036 This is genuine, genuine consumer advice. Well, mostly. 15 00:01:20,076 --> 00:01:23,928 Sort of. At first. 16 00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:26,284 There are any number of cars on offer these days 17 00:01:26,324 --> 00:01:28,284 for that kind of budget - 18 00:01:28,324 --> 00:01:32,768 even this 1997 BMW 7 Series. 19 00:01:32,808 --> 00:01:36,532 Great car, ABS, air bag, so it's safe in a crash. 20 00:01:36,572 --> 00:01:41,988 Parents will love it for this reason. And kids'll love it cos, well, it's cool. 21 00:01:42,028 --> 00:01:45,252 'Back at the Top Gear office, and pretending to be 17...' 22 00:01:45,292 --> 00:01:46,864 Student, living at home. 23 00:01:46,904 --> 00:01:50,568 '..I set about sorting the Bimmer's insurance.' 24 00:01:50,608 --> 00:01:52,160 How much?! 25 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,116 7,000 what? Pounds?! 26 00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:58,020 I've been very sensible here. Look at this. I've found a Suzuki Liana, 27 00:01:58,060 --> 00:02:01,332 which is small, sturdy, safe... Yeah. 28 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:05,988 £1,300... Yeah. Gives me £1,200 to spend. What, on insurance? Yep. 29 00:02:06,028 --> 00:02:09,128 That won't be enough. £1,200, I guarantee it won't be enough. 30 00:02:09,168 --> 00:02:10,912 'And he was right.' 31 00:02:10,952 --> 00:02:14,040 HE LAUGHS 32 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,224 How do you feel now? 33 00:02:17,264 --> 00:02:18,536 Go on. 34 00:02:18,576 --> 00:02:22,096 £3,377, Asda will do it for £3,400. 35 00:02:22,136 --> 00:02:24,304 HSBC, £4,600. 36 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:30,332 OneQuoteDirect, OK... £8,007! don't think they want the business. 37 00:02:30,372 --> 00:02:33,084 'We ploughed through the options for hours.' 38 00:02:33,124 --> 00:02:37,196 Student, full-time, studying, er, er, religion. 39 00:02:37,236 --> 00:02:40,428 James May. No, Adam Smith, sorry. 40 00:02:40,468 --> 00:02:46,208 £2,500 is 15 times more than the car is worth. 41 00:02:46,248 --> 00:02:54,740 No, but what you're saying is I'm going to write it off completely 15 times a year. 42 00:02:54,780 --> 00:03:00,332 Premiums for 17-year-old girls are half what they are for 17-year-old boys. Seriously 43 00:03:00,372 --> 00:03:02,240 Premiums for 17-year-old girls are half what they are for 17-year-old boys. Seriously 44 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,960 Half the money. Well, there's a Top Gear top tip right there. 45 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,084 If you're a 17-year-old boy and you need car insurance, slice your penis off. 46 00:03:07,124 --> 00:03:09,680 I would have done. I did. 47 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,052 THEY LAUGH 48 00:03:11,092 --> 00:03:12,568 I nearly did, I should say. 49 00:03:12,608 --> 00:03:16,256 That explains... a great many things. 50 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:20,836 'The phoning went on, until eventually we had a list of cars that could be bought and insured 51 00:03:20,876 --> 00:03:24,600 'for less than £2,500.' 52 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:29,444 It is like looking through the menu- at a Scottish restaurant. 53 00:03:29,484 --> 00:03:32,680 Not much in it and nothing you I mean, look at that 54 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,788 Rover Metro, Citroen AX. 55 00:03:35,828 --> 00:03:42,400 Can you imagine a 17-year-old in a Suzuki Wagon R+? Thanks(!) 1L. 56 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,880 Very good, thank you, bye-bye. 57 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:49,256 'It soon dawned on us that the only- realistic way of getting covered when you're 17 58 00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:52,444 'is by going on your parents' insurance. 59 00:03:52,484 --> 00:03:55,536 'So, we got back on the phones pretending to be Dad.' 60 00:03:55,576 --> 00:03:59,976 No, we're only going to let him drive to the shops really very, very rarely. 61 00:04:00,016 --> 00:04:03,840 No, no accidents in the last five years. 62 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:09,820 'Finally, we were in business.' 63 00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:13,712 'So, having bought our cars, we were told to meet in a school playground 64 00:04:13,752 --> 00:04:21,820 'and I was the first to arrive.' 65 00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:24,744 As you would imagine, I've done this properly. 66 00:04:24,784 --> 00:04:26,320 It... 67 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,712 It's a Golf and that's really all there is to say about it. 68 00:04:28,752 --> 00:04:31,072 It cost my mum £695 69 00:04:31,112 --> 00:04:36,728 and it cost her £1,509 to insure it- with me on as a named driver 70 00:04:36,768 --> 00:04:40,616 for very occasional use, such as today, when I've just come to see my mates. 71 00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:43,868 CAR HORN TOOTS 72 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,616 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 73 00:04:45,656 --> 00:04:50,744 JAMES LAUGHS 74 00:04:50,784 --> 00:04:53,208 Is it an S Coupe? 75 00:04:53,248 --> 00:04:55,384 It is a Hyundai S Coupe. 76 00:04:55,424 --> 00:04:57,696 1.5L and, I think you'll agree... Well, 77 00:04:57,736 --> 00:05:00,824 there's only one word for it - coupe. Ssscrap. 78 00:05:00,864 --> 00:05:03,868 It's a coupe! It's magnificent. 85bhp, 79 00:05:03,908 --> 00:05:06,604 bucket seats, electric windows. 80 00:05:06,644 --> 00:05:09,808 How much was yours? Sorry, how much did your mum pay? 81 00:05:09,848 --> 00:05:14,024 My mum paid £700 for this. 82 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,024 'And then... 83 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:17,400 'a geography teacher arrived.' 84 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,696 God above, I thought that was one of the teachers! 85 00:05:21,736 --> 00:05:26,244 I'm sorry, I'm 17... "Happy birthday, son!" "Nooo!" 86 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:29,948 The perfect car for any 17-year-old. Why?! Why? Y-yes! 87 00:05:29,988 --> 00:05:34,588 My turbo. Low pressure, I think. It is a low pressure turbo. 88 00:05:34,628 --> 00:05:38,620 What have you got? I've got a Golf.- Has it got a turbo? No. 89 00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:41,368 They did do a turbo... What is that?! A Hyundai S Coupe 90 00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:43,104 and they did do a turbo. 91 00:05:43,144 --> 00:05:48,076 Not on this one. not on this one. So, you turn up at the school, here's my turbo. 92 00:05:48,116 --> 00:05:52,480 There's another very important issue that we must address. 93 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:56,400 The most precious thing in your life, your child, speaking as a parent, 94 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,792 is sitting in that seat. Yes? Yeah. Yes. 95 00:05:58,832 --> 00:06:05,120 Look at the amount of metal between him and the tree he will inevitably hit. 96 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,776 'So, there we are. We had the cars.- We had the insurance. 97 00:06:09,816 --> 00:06:13,400 'All we needed was a challenge.' 98 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,964 Thank you. 99 00:06:15,004 --> 00:06:16,932 "You must now imagine that you are 17..." 100 00:06:16,972 --> 00:06:19,088 Yes. "..and modify your cars accordingly 101 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:23,028 "in order to do what any 17-year-old boy wants to do - 102 00:06:23,068 --> 00:06:24,560 "attract girls." 103 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,560 Ha! You've had it! 104 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,872 Well, look at your beige Volvo! Get on with it. What? 105 00:06:28,912 --> 00:06:33,932 "Your budget is whatever you have left from your original £2,500. 106 00:06:33,972 --> 00:06:36,120 So, how much have you got? £300. 107 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,776 You? £500. You? 108 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:43,572 Nought. 109 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:49,652 'Two days later, our wheels were ready and I'd gone for the thing girls love most - 110 00:06:49,692 --> 00:06:53,368 'a body kit.' 111 00:06:53,408 --> 00:06:55,212 It's not from exactly the same model, 112 00:06:55,252 --> 00:07:03,528 but it's close enough. And I've customised it to fit perfectly. 113 00:07:03,568 --> 00:07:08,464 With my budget of £0, I'd fitted a girl-enticing water bed in the back. 114 00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:13,028 Well, when I say water bed, what I mean is... Well, it's a lilo. 115 00:07:13,068 --> 00:07:17,088 But to enliven it a bit, I've teamed it with a leopard-skin throw 116 00:07:17,128 --> 00:07:20,764 and shag-pile carpet, which is more a sort of a bath mat. 117 00:07:20,804 --> 00:07:27,904 And then, to finish it all off, some simple, hand-painted turbo motifs. 118 00:07:27,944 --> 00:07:30,824 As you can see, I've done absolutely nothing 119 00:07:30,864 --> 00:07:34,652 to the outside of my car and that's- because I've spent my whole £300 120 00:07:34,692 --> 00:07:37,404 on exactly what a 17-year-old wants - 121 00:07:37,444 --> 00:07:39,968 a banging stereo for my tunes. 122 00:07:40,008 --> 00:07:48,496 BAROQUE MUSIC PLAYS 123 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:52,748 'Sadly, our destination was 60 miles away... 124 00:07:52,788 --> 00:07:57,248 '..30 more than James's bladder can ever manage. 125 00:07:57,288 --> 00:08:00,904 'While he went for a wee, Richard and I decided to improve his car 126 00:08:00,944 --> 00:08:03,624 'even more.' 127 00:08:03,664 --> 00:08:06,904 I think you'll find track four is particularly to his liking. 128 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:10,280 So we take out his Bach and we pop in this... Yeah. Hang on. 129 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:11,732 What have we got? 130 00:08:11,772 --> 00:08:17,280 That's glued. Volume's glued. Glued, glued, glued. The source button's glued. 131 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,032 JEREMY LAUGHS Oh, that's perfect! 132 00:08:20,072 --> 00:08:22,780 We need to glue the whole damn thing, literally every button. 133 00:08:22,820 --> 00:08:25,904 Yeah, because the moment he puts the ignition on, 134 00:08:25,944 --> 00:08:28,092 it will be on full. 135 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,748 Right. Oh, perfect. 136 00:08:29,788 --> 00:08:35,124 That is... This will brighten his day. 137 00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:37,000 SILENCE 138 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,448 SILENCE 139 00:08:38,488 --> 00:08:44,688 POUNDING MUSIC THUMPS 140 00:08:44,728 --> 00:08:46,372 Ooh, yeah. 141 00:08:46,412 --> 00:08:51,704 MUSIC CONTINUES TO THUD 142 00:08:51,744 --> 00:08:56,032 I'm expecting the phone to ring any- minute, with James asking if I have- the stereo remote control 143 00:08:56,072 --> 00:08:57,968 and the answer to that is yes. 144 00:08:58,008 --> 00:09:03,752 MUSIC CONTINUES 145 00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:06,624 'The producers had told us to report to an abandoned camp site 146 00:09:06,664 --> 00:09:11,528 'at the bottom of a very slippery field.' 147 00:09:11,568 --> 00:09:15,064 Whoa! That was well parked. 148 00:09:15,104 --> 00:09:17,720 MUSIC CONTINUES TO POUND 149 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,500 Maybe we'll have converted him? THEY LAUGH 150 00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:25,528 That's an unhappy spaniel right there, isn't it? 151 00:09:25,568 --> 00:09:28,344 Any ideas? Thoughts? 152 00:09:28,384 --> 00:09:33,408 Ah! This'll answer the question. 153 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,440 "The festival test. 154 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,408 "You've been at Glastonbury for the weekend, 155 00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:42,880 "it's finished and now it's a straight race to see who can pack 156 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:46,528 "all their camping equipment and stuff into their car 157 00:09:46,568 --> 00:09:49,500 "and get out of the car park." 158 00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:51,344 How hard can it be? 159 00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:54,968 Don't say that! Go! 160 00:09:55,008 --> 00:09:58,392 That has to be medical. It must be. 161 00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,284 Oh, bugger! 162 00:10:00,324 --> 00:10:03,048 That's not mine. That was there. I don't know what that is. 163 00:10:03,088 --> 00:10:07,564 So, that's a piece of cake. Ah! 164 00:10:07,604 --> 00:10:09,188 Guys! Problem! 165 00:10:09,228 --> 00:10:14,112 What? I shoved my anarchy flag through my water lilo. 166 00:10:14,152 --> 00:10:20,720 Nobody's ever said that before. 'James struggled to get everything in his Golf, 167 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:24,628 'whereas I had no problems at all with my enormous Volvo.' 168 00:10:24,668 --> 00:10:34,036 I'm outta here. 169 00:10:34,076 --> 00:10:36,036 What is my mum going to say? 170 00:10:36,076 --> 00:10:39,220 'Happily, I wasn't the only one who'd be in trouble. 171 00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:41,316 'In his eagerness to get out of the field first, 172 00:10:41,356 --> 00:10:47,296 'Hammond completely forgot about his new body kit.' 173 00:10:47,336 --> 00:10:49,172 Yes! Yes! 174 00:10:49,212 --> 00:10:51,096 Oh, no! 175 00:10:51,136 --> 00:10:53,628 How am I going to tell my mum about that?! 176 00:10:53,668 --> 00:10:56,036 'As Hammond and I floundered on the green ice, 177 00:10:56,076 --> 00:11:00,988 'Ravey May-vy's Golf powered through to victory.' 178 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,656 MUSIC POUNDS 179 00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:06,924 James has got the right idea. It's speed, weirdly. 180 00:11:06,964 --> 00:11:09,064 'I was the next to break free...' 181 00:11:09,104 --> 00:11:11,252 Ha-ha! I am out. 182 00:11:11,292 --> 00:11:15,488 '..leaving just the geography teacher.' 183 00:11:15,528 --> 00:11:18,736 Yes. 184 00:11:18,776 --> 00:11:22,424 Argh! 185 00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:26,472 I can't stop it! 186 00:11:26,512 --> 00:11:29,940 Here we go! 187 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:36,688 Argh! 188 00:11:36,728 --> 00:11:38,660 Speed! 189 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:41,972 No. 190 00:11:42,012 --> 00:11:44,816 How is this possible? 191 00:11:44,856 --> 00:11:49,600 MUSIC POUNDS 192 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:53,068 Oh, please! 193 00:11:53,108 --> 00:11:58,004 Please don't do this to me! 194 00:11:58,044 --> 00:12:03,408 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 195 00:12:03,448 --> 00:12:07,536 We will pick that up later on. Can I just point out that before we do move on, 196 00:12:07,576 --> 00:12:10,892 if you do decide to put yourself on your parents' insurance, and you have a crash, 197 00:12:10,932 --> 00:12:14,864 and the insurance company find out that it was really your car... 198 00:12:14,904 --> 00:12:16,848 Which they will if it's got a body kit on. 199 00:12:16,888 --> 00:12:19,240 Even half a body kit. Whatever! 200 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,568 The point is if the insurance company find out it WAS your car, 201 00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:23,768 they won't pay out. 202 00:12:23,808 --> 00:12:26,896 Then they can prosecute you and you might have to go to jail. 203 00:12:26,936 --> 00:12:30,612 And then one day, you'll be in the showers and a big, strange man... 204 00:12:30,652 --> 00:12:35,084 Hey, hey! OK. Anyway, the point is,- get yourself a beige Volvo, 205 00:12:35,124 --> 00:12:37,380 cos no loss adjuster will imagine that's yours. 206 00:12:37,420 --> 00:12:39,944 LAUGHTER 207 00:12:39,984 --> 00:12:44,816 While filming that, it was amazing - it brought back that excitement of first learning to drive 208 00:12:44,856 --> 00:12:50,020 when we were 17 and the driving test and passing it - well, not passing it in your case... 209 00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:54,116 What do you do on a driving test if you don't pass it? You... 210 00:12:54,156 --> 00:12:57,008 I failed, all right! I failed first time. Yes, I did. 211 00:12:57,048 --> 00:12:59,816 Failure. Why did you fail? 212 00:12:59,856 --> 00:13:03,456 A traffic light went red as I came up to it and the examiner said, "Proceed as you normally would," 213 00:13:03,496 --> 00:13:06,008 so I gave it a bootful. LAUGHTER 214 00:13:06,048 --> 00:13:07,488 I failed. 215 00:13:07,528 --> 00:13:10,944 Presumably, you passed first time? No. I failed. Really?! 216 00:13:10,984 --> 00:13:12,648 You failed?! What, you got lost? 217 00:13:12,688 --> 00:13:15,708 We were going along and all of a sudden, he hit the dashboard 218 00:13:15,748 --> 00:13:19,272 and he said, "Look out, there's a small child in the road!" 219 00:13:19,312 --> 00:13:22,428 and I said, "No, there isn't," and kept going. 220 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,320 Cos there wasn't. So you were just being pedantic? 221 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:30,368 No, I was being correct. He was anticipating an emergency stop, not an argument, you fool! Was he? 222 00:13:30,408 --> 00:13:33,384 Yeah, that's it. Actually... What? While we're on the subject, 223 00:13:33,424 --> 00:13:38,400 at the other end of the scale from our failure, you turned up with some scissors in your pocket, 224 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,804 ready to cut your L-plates off the car. 225 00:13:40,844 --> 00:13:43,680 True. It's optimistic. I didn't see it as a driving test, 226 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,728 so much as a confirmation of my excellence. 227 00:13:45,768 --> 00:13:47,584 LAUGHTER 228 00:13:47,624 --> 00:13:50,868 That's really what it was. When he said, the man, 229 00:13:50,908 --> 00:13:54,276 whatever he was - the instructor...- Examiner. ..examiner - when he said, 230 00:13:54,316 --> 00:13:57,320 "Congratulations, Mr Clarkson, you've passed," 231 00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:03,692 what I heard was, "Congratulations,- Mr Clarkson, you are the best driver I've ever seen in my life." 232 00:14:03,732 --> 00:14:07,008 You can imagine my surprise 36 hours later to find myself in a field, 233 00:14:07,048 --> 00:14:12,884 surrounded by sheep that were no longer alive and bits of what used to be my mum's Audi. 234 00:14:12,924 --> 00:14:17,384 "How did this happen?! I'm the best driver in the world and I've gone and stuffed it!" 235 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:21,460 Right, can we now do the news? Last week, we were talking about the Government's scrappage scheme, 236 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:24,488 which is important and we got distracted 237 00:14:24,528 --> 00:14:29,696 by talking about playing croquet with tortoises. Dead tortoises. 238 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:33,884 We mustn't do that again, because the scrappage scheme genuinely is important. 239 00:14:33,924 --> 00:14:39,148 To prop up the car industry, the Government is encouraging you to scrap old cars and buy new ones. 240 00:14:39,188 --> 00:14:41,960 The trouble is that the cars people- are buying are Korean, 241 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,868 which means the Government is using our money 242 00:14:44,908 --> 00:14:50,368 to help Kim Jong-il buy nuclear weapons. 243 00:14:50,408 --> 00:14:54,132 That's the wrong bit of Korea. Don't be so pedantic! 244 00:14:54,172 --> 00:14:57,916 It's hardly pedantic, Jeremy. One is a free market economy making- a harmless hatchback 245 00:14:57,956 --> 00:15:03,072 the other is a totalitarian regime,- allegedly making weapons of mass destruction. 246 00:15:03,112 --> 00:15:07,928 When a nuclear bomb drops on your house, don't come crying to me about your distinctions. 247 00:15:07,968 --> 00:15:11,480 Why would the South Koreans nuke Hammersmith? 248 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,320 They use American guidance systems? 249 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,256 LAUGHTER 250 00:15:15,296 --> 00:15:19,132 We're going off-topic again! Can we get back?! Yes. Get back to the scrappage scheme. 251 00:15:19,172 --> 00:15:22,996 This is an important point. It is more ecological - and this is a fact, 252 00:15:23,036 --> 00:15:27,152 the Green Party agree with us ONLY on this point - 253 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:30,560 it's more ecological to keep an old car going 254 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,528 than it is to scrap it, throw it away and build a new one. True fact. 255 00:15:34,568 --> 00:15:39,336 If you've got an old car - we really are on-topic here - 256 00:15:39,376 --> 00:15:42,528 if you've got an old car, it has to be serviced by someone. 257 00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,900 That someone is going to be under an arch at the end of your road, 258 00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:47,356 and not Kim Jong-il. LAUGHTER 259 00:15:47,396 --> 00:15:51,056 Now, you know the Ariel Atom? Yes. You drove one last year. Yes. When you stepped out of it, 260 00:15:51,096 --> 00:15:54,008 did you think, "Bit slow"? No, I didn't. 261 00:15:54,048 --> 00:15:58,544 Everyone had said it's superbike fast and I thought, "Oh, come on, don't be ridic...argh!" 262 00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:03,528 It's insanely fast. That one had a supercharged 4-cylinder Honda engine out of a Civic, yes? Yes. 263 00:16:03,568 --> 00:16:07,872 They've now come up with this, which has a supercharged V8 engine. 264 00:16:07,912 --> 00:16:10,776 They're saying it's got more than 500 horsepower 265 00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:13,400 and the car weighs less than half a tonne. 266 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:17,824 So that is more than 1,000 horsepower per tonne. 267 00:16:17,864 --> 00:16:22,744 That's just staggering. A Bugatti Veyron, to put that in perspective,- is 521bhp per tonne, 268 00:16:22,784 --> 00:16:26,416 so it's nearly twice as powerful. It'll be too fast to see. 269 00:16:26,456 --> 00:16:31,744 It'll be there, then not there. There'll be a thin film of what was- the clutch on the road. 270 00:16:31,784 --> 00:16:35,056 It's £100,000, but I don't believe cars can get better than that. 271 00:16:35,096 --> 00:16:39,008 What if you're an antique dealer? That'll be limiting for... It's not. 272 00:16:39,048 --> 00:16:41,356 That's what this is on the back for. 273 00:16:41,396 --> 00:16:46,088 You strap wardrobes, chests of drawers on there and... They've thought about it. See? 274 00:16:46,128 --> 00:16:50,212 You know Vauxhall? Yes. Canadian company now. 275 00:16:50,252 --> 00:16:53,560 Vauxhall has done a supercharged version of the VXR8. 276 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,104 Here it is - it's called the Bathurst. 277 00:16:56,144 --> 00:17:00,952 That makes the worst noise... What?! It makes the best noise! 278 00:17:00,992 --> 00:17:06,448 The supercharger, that screech! It's brilliant. The mechanical whine... It's deafening! 279 00:17:06,488 --> 00:17:10,308 It's like driving along - what's that opera singer called - Katherine...er...Jenkins! 280 00:17:10,348 --> 00:17:15,608 It's like her having what DH Lawrence would've called a "crisis". 281 00:17:15,648 --> 00:17:18,000 A what? A crisis. 282 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,684 Lady Chatterley, goes in the barn with the gardener, in the hay, 283 00:17:20,724 --> 00:17:24,232 some things happen, then she has a "crisis". Oh! 284 00:17:24,272 --> 00:17:28,076 A crisis...yes. That's what it sounds like, a constant Victorian crisis. 285 00:17:28,116 --> 00:17:32,624 That's my point, it's a brilliant noise. The supercharger whine is a mechanical driving sound. 286 00:17:32,664 --> 00:17:35,888 That does make other brilliant noises. No, the best noise 287 00:17:35,928 --> 00:17:41,280 made by any car is my Mercedes - which is now only 19 days away from- its first service, 288 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:44,292 so the cooler will be mine in 19 days, right - 289 00:17:44,332 --> 00:17:50,904 but that, between about 2,750 and 3,500 revs on three-quarter throttle, 290 00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:52,796 that is the best noise in the world. 291 00:17:52,836 --> 00:17:54,232 I thought... What? 292 00:17:54,272 --> 00:17:59,876 ..the best noise that had ever come- out of a car came out of the stereo- in my 17-year-old Golf 293 00:17:59,916 --> 00:18:02,292 until you two touched it inappropriately. 294 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:05,344 LAUGHTER 295 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:07,652 Actually, while we're on the subject of this, 296 00:18:07,692 --> 00:18:07,920 last week, James did talk about touching people inappropriately 297 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:18,372 and the Daily Star, in an editorial, says that we've upset the Scouts and the Catholic Church 298 00:18:18,412 --> 00:18:21,796 and that we can add those two august organisations 299 00:18:21,836 --> 00:18:25,688 to other people we've offended, including lorry drivers, Scots, Malaysians, 300 00:18:25,728 --> 00:18:30,264 Germans, blind people, anti-hunt protesters and smokers. 301 00:18:30,304 --> 00:18:36,640 I'm sorry, but this sort of gutter press claptrap gets so far up my nose. 302 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:41,888 How dare they? How dare they suggest that we would be rude to smokers?!! 303 00:18:41,928 --> 00:18:44,516 LAUGHTER 304 00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:46,640 That is the end of the news. 305 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:50,640 Now, at this point, Jeremy usually rushes off to drive a car very quickly around our track. 306 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,596 This week, it was my turn 307 00:18:52,636 --> 00:18:57,672 and I thought, "Why just do it at the track?" 308 00:18:57,712 --> 00:18:59,296 WIND HOWLS 309 00:18:59,336 --> 00:19:08,560 HOOFBEATS 310 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,936 Arabia. Visitors here get all misty-eyed about camp fires 311 00:19:10,976 --> 00:19:13,408 in the sands of time, and you can see why. 312 00:19:13,448 --> 00:19:21,032 But the truth is, the place is shot- through with a love of speed... 313 00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:26,316 '..which means it's the perfect place to go for a run in this - 314 00:19:26,356 --> 00:19:33,424 'the brand-new Lamborghini Murcielago.' 315 00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:36,876 Over there is downtown Abu Dhabi. 316 00:19:36,916 --> 00:19:41,048 Between me and it is a four-mile, arrow-straight stretch of highway. 317 00:19:41,088 --> 00:19:43,360 ENGINE REVS 318 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,392 And...it's closed. 319 00:19:45,432 --> 00:19:49,296 How lucky is that? 320 00:19:49,336 --> 00:19:53,888 TYRES SQUEAL 321 00:19:53,928 --> 00:19:58,956 Oh, what a noise! 322 00:19:58,996 --> 00:20:00,984 140. 323 00:20:01,024 --> 00:20:03,392 150. 324 00:20:03,432 --> 00:20:06,800 160. 325 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,704 170mph. 326 00:20:10,744 --> 00:20:16,128 Whoa! 327 00:20:16,168 --> 00:20:24,936 Whoa. You've just met the Lamborghini Murcielago LP670-4 SV, 328 00:20:24,976 --> 00:20:30,688 or, to put it in plain English... the fastest Lamborghini ever made. 329 00:20:30,728 --> 00:20:34,812 'It's also the last Murcielago that'll ever be made, 330 00:20:34,852 --> 00:20:40,472 'because a brand-new replacement is coming next year. 331 00:20:40,512 --> 00:20:45,316 'But rest assured that the old one won't be going quietly, 332 00:20:45,356 --> 00:20:52,832 'because from every angle, this last hurrah looks absolutely evil.' 333 00:20:52,872 --> 00:20:54,704 GROWLING 334 00:20:54,744 --> 00:20:57,520 I mean, just look at that exhaust. 335 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:09,268 If a Toyota Prius came up behind and saw that, it would wet its pants. 336 00:21:09,308 --> 00:21:14,532 'So, LP670-4 SV.' 337 00:21:14,572 --> 00:21:21,240 The SV stands for Sport Veloce, something they've tagged their hardcore models since the Miura. 338 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,080 The "4" is the 4-wheel drive. 339 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:27,880 The LP stands for...something. 340 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,892 The 670 is the horsepower, which is 30 more than the last one 341 00:21:31,932 --> 00:21:37,128 and also, quite a lot. 342 00:21:37,168 --> 00:21:42,504 'And whilst they've added power, they've also been busy stripping away weight.' 343 00:21:42,544 --> 00:21:45,848 It's 100kg lighter than the standard car. 344 00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:50,504 It's got a lighter exhaust system, more of it's made of carbon fibre 345 00:21:50,544 --> 00:21:56,488 and it does all add up, because the results are astonishing. 346 00:21:56,528 --> 00:22:00,328 0-60, 3.2 seconds. 347 00:22:00,368 --> 00:22:04,284 Top speed, 212mph. 348 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:09,020 'They've also taken away the radio,- but that's fine by me.' 349 00:22:09,060 --> 00:22:13,488 Because that noise... 350 00:22:13,528 --> 00:22:16,880 That glorious noise! 351 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,756 This V12 has basically been around since the Miura 352 00:22:20,796 --> 00:22:23,428 and it too will die along with this car. 353 00:22:23,468 --> 00:22:26,552 And it is just as if it's howling, 354 00:22:26,592 --> 00:22:33,848 "You'll miss me when I'm gone!" 355 00:22:33,888 --> 00:22:40,224 'And I'm not the only one who thinks this car has a human soul.' 356 00:22:40,264 --> 00:22:43,348 All car-makers release official info with every new car 357 00:22:43,388 --> 00:22:46,348 and, usually, this stuff is pretty dry. 358 00:22:46,388 --> 00:22:49,600 Here's Mercedes talking about the exhaust on the SL Black. 359 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:53,568 They say, "The new design reduces exhaust gas backpressure. 360 00:22:53,608 --> 00:22:56,224 "The acoustic side effect of this is to produce 361 00:22:56,264 --> 00:22:59,288 "a distinctive 12-cylinder sound from the two trapezoidal tailpipes." 362 00:22:59,328 --> 00:23:04,816 By contrast, here's Lamborghini's latest info. They say that this exhaust, in this car, 363 00:23:04,856 --> 00:23:09,568 makes a sound that ranges from, "the heavy rumble of a stormy night, 364 00:23:09,608 --> 00:23:15,008 "through the trumpeting of mighty elephants, to the roar of a raging lion." 365 00:23:15,048 --> 00:23:24,648 You just get the sense that before this car dies, they actually wanted- to make it come to life. 366 00:23:24,688 --> 00:23:27,944 They've certainly done that. 367 00:23:27,984 --> 00:23:32,128 It isn't just a lighter, faster Murcielago - the weight loss 368 00:23:32,168 --> 00:23:37,084 has transformed it into a completely different car. 369 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:40,332 The steering is just so sharp, 370 00:23:40,372 --> 00:23:43,240 the brakes so effective. 371 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,664 Don't get me wrong, it's still a big, scary car, 372 00:23:46,704 --> 00:23:52,208 but it's so light and nimble on its feet. Sand! 373 00:23:52,248 --> 00:23:57,820 Yeah, this'd be a lot easier if the desert would stay still. 374 00:23:57,860 --> 00:24:00,804 'The price for this outrageous curtain-call? 375 00:24:00,844 --> 00:24:05,240 '£270,000.' 376 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,744 Actually, that's quite cheap. 377 00:24:07,784 --> 00:24:10,288 It is! 378 00:24:10,328 --> 00:24:16,428 'Because I think this thing can run- not just with mere supercars... 379 00:24:16,468 --> 00:24:23,336 '..but with the more rarefied and expensive hypercars.' 380 00:24:23,376 --> 00:24:25,288 There it is! 381 00:24:25,328 --> 00:24:32,788 That's an SLR 722 - like an SLR, only more. 382 00:24:32,828 --> 00:24:36,868 That is hypercar royalty, right there. 383 00:24:36,908 --> 00:24:40,208 'So, since we still have the roads to ourselves, 384 00:24:40,248 --> 00:24:43,492 'let's see if the 722 can keep its royal status 385 00:24:43,532 --> 00:24:46,024 'in a race between the lights.' 386 00:24:46,064 --> 00:24:51,492 I think it's got what it takes. Let's find out. 387 00:24:51,532 --> 00:24:54,896 ENGINES REV 388 00:24:54,936 --> 00:24:57,208 TYRES SQUEAL 389 00:24:57,248 --> 00:25:02,808 This is it! Come on, little Lambo! 390 00:25:02,848 --> 00:25:04,896 Ah-ha-ha! 391 00:25:04,936 --> 00:25:06,772 Try that on, fella. 392 00:25:06,812 --> 00:25:08,400 160. 393 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,560 170 through the centre of Abu Dhabi. Hello! 394 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,524 Ohhh! 395 00:25:13,564 --> 00:25:18,152 He's ahead but only just! 396 00:25:18,192 --> 00:25:20,616 Man, this is close! 397 00:25:20,656 --> 00:25:27,432 It's close! 398 00:25:27,472 --> 00:25:29,948 Red light! 399 00:25:29,988 --> 00:25:33,744 Whoa! Braking up to the red light quite hard. 400 00:25:33,784 --> 00:25:35,336 RICHARD LAUGHS 401 00:25:35,376 --> 00:25:39,024 That is a truly ridiculous game. 402 00:25:39,064 --> 00:25:41,524 It was unbelievably close. 403 00:25:41,564 --> 00:25:45,280 I was there, alongside hypercar royalty. Compared to that, 404 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,152 this is a snotty little ragamuffin. 405 00:25:48,192 --> 00:25:51,212 And that's a hundred grand more than this. 406 00:25:51,252 --> 00:25:54,024 Quite a swan song. 407 00:25:54,064 --> 00:25:56,336 'Yep, in its dying moments, 408 00:25:56,376 --> 00:26:05,872 'the Murcielago has become one of the all-time supercar greats.' 409 00:26:05,912 --> 00:26:10,088 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 410 00:26:10,128 --> 00:26:19,168 There's some evidence on these seats that you had a crisis. 411 00:26:19,208 --> 00:26:20,588 But it's magnificent. 412 00:26:20,628 --> 00:26:21,840 It's such a... 413 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,088 It's such a pantomime car and the best thing is, 414 00:26:23,128 --> 00:26:25,744 underneath the exterior there is a serious actor trying to get out. 415 00:26:25,784 --> 00:26:27,512 It can really do the job. 416 00:26:27,552 --> 00:26:31,648 Thing is though, you've always said- that your favourite supercar is the Zonda F, OK? 417 00:26:31,688 --> 00:26:34,648 So, which would you choose? 418 00:26:34,688 --> 00:26:36,840 Oh, no that's cru...that's...uh. 419 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,436 Come on. That's like asking me to choose between my children. 420 00:26:39,476 --> 00:26:40,744 Come on! 421 00:26:40,784 --> 00:26:42,088 No, the only way to sort this out 422 00:26:42,128 --> 00:26:45,152 is to see how fast this is round the track. 423 00:26:45,192 --> 00:26:46,932 Speaking of which... 424 00:26:46,972 --> 00:26:51,592 Last week a man came here claiming to be The Stig. 425 00:26:51,632 --> 00:26:52,904 LAUGHTER 426 00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:54,076 You may have seen it, OK? 427 00:26:54,116 --> 00:26:55,640 Now, maybe he is, we don't know. 428 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:56,948 OK, maybe he is. 429 00:26:56,988 --> 00:27:01,592 But what we do know is that he set a time of 1 minute 10 seconds in a Ferrari FXX round the track - 430 00:27:01,632 --> 00:27:03,620 top of our leader board. 431 00:27:03,660 --> 00:27:07,028 We subsequently discovered he was doing that on slick tyres. 432 00:27:07,068 --> 00:27:10,212 Now, we have rules on this Power Board here, OK. 433 00:27:10,252 --> 00:27:14,404 You can't use slicks, so this time is coming off. 434 00:27:14,444 --> 00:27:17,464 What? BOOING 435 00:27:17,504 --> 00:27:19,668 Oh, boo?! LAUGHTER 436 00:27:19,708 --> 00:27:21,872 This is a dictatorship. 437 00:27:21,912 --> 00:27:23,592 If you want to live in a democracy,- go to Iran. 438 00:27:23,632 --> 00:27:25,216 LAUGHTER 439 00:27:25,256 --> 00:27:27,684 I have to work with that, week in week out. 440 00:27:27,724 --> 00:27:29,776 It's now time to find out how fast this is round our track 441 00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:32,700 which means we must hand it over to our tame racing driver. 442 00:27:32,740 --> 00:27:34,872 Now some say that last week 443 00:27:34,912 --> 00:27:37,200 he was found in a locked room tied to a chair 444 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,592 with German piano wire... 445 00:27:39,632 --> 00:27:41,872 LAUGHTER 446 00:27:41,912 --> 00:27:48,984 ..And that this week, MPs turned him down for the job of Speaker. 447 00:27:49,024 --> 00:27:56,404 All we know is that's three things he has in common with Margaret Beckett. 448 00:27:56,444 --> 00:27:58,184 And he's off! 449 00:27:58,224 --> 00:28:00,856 Another similarity is, of course, very thin hair. 450 00:28:00,896 --> 00:28:05,012 Right, coming up to the first corner and he's coming in very hot. 451 00:28:05,052 --> 00:28:06,808 I had a go in this Lambo earlier, 452 00:28:06,848 --> 00:28:09,876 found a surprising amount of understeer. 453 00:28:09,916 --> 00:28:14,292 Stig seems to have it all under control at the moment though. 454 00:28:14,332 --> 00:28:16,088 Oh, good, no music again this week, 455 00:28:16,128 --> 00:28:20,028 because, as Richard said, the lightweight SV has no stereo 456 00:28:20,068 --> 00:28:24,088 but why would you want one with that V12 concerto behind you? 457 00:28:24,128 --> 00:28:28,060 Hammerhead. This is where understeer should rear its head. 458 00:28:28,100 --> 00:28:33,448 Look, at that, Stig neutralising it with 661 horses of fury! 459 00:28:33,488 --> 00:28:36,516 Brilliant driving! 460 00:28:36,556 --> 00:28:38,440 And the third thing, obviously, 461 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,404 is a love of caravan holidays in the Dordogne. 462 00:28:41,444 --> 00:28:42,888 OK, there he is through the Follow Through. 463 00:28:42,928 --> 00:28:46,032 Stig says this car can be flighty 464 00:28:46,072 --> 00:28:49,156 so that's probably why he's lifted off through the tyres. 465 00:28:49,196 --> 00:28:52,048 That is incredible. OK, just two corners left. 466 00:28:52,088 --> 00:28:56,952 You can see Stiggy's little, possibly German paws working hard there. 467 00:28:56,992 --> 00:28:59,188 Spit of flame on the overrun, 468 00:28:59,228 --> 00:29:01,732 this car really is Widow Twankey with a wing. 469 00:29:01,772 --> 00:29:05,048 APPLAUSE 470 00:29:05,088 --> 00:29:07,780 Great lap but where does it go? 471 00:29:07,820 --> 00:29:09,984 Hammond, you have the time. I have the time. 472 00:29:10,024 --> 00:29:11,800 OK. Here we go. 473 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,108 It did it in... 474 00:29:13,148 --> 00:29:16,000 1.19 dead! 475 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,688 It has graduated up from supercar to hypercar. 476 00:29:18,728 --> 00:29:23,484 It's as fast as an Enzo! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 477 00:29:23,524 --> 00:29:24,640 It's moved up. 478 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,216 That's... 479 00:29:27,256 --> 00:29:29,576 JEREMY CLEARS HIS THROAT Mind you... 480 00:29:29,616 --> 00:29:31,440 Zonda F. 481 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,392 Yes, well, I guess we've got to let the board decide. 482 00:29:33,432 --> 00:29:35,720 It doesn't lie, the F's faster. 483 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:36,888 So that's the one you'd choose still? 484 00:29:36,928 --> 00:29:38,812 Yes! OK, now... 485 00:29:38,852 --> 00:29:42,656 it is time to put a star in our reasonably-priced car. 486 00:29:42,696 --> 00:29:45,500 My guest tonight, he's just done everything really. 487 00:29:45,540 --> 00:29:49,344 He's the voice of the Harry Potter audiotapes, Blackadder, 488 00:29:49,384 --> 00:29:53,408 he's recently driven a taxi all the way around America. 489 00:29:53,448 --> 00:29:57,248 Started out in life, his career, with a "Laurie" so, in fact, 490 00:29:57,288 --> 00:30:00,016 the only thing we can be sure he hasn't done, 491 00:30:00,056 --> 00:30:01,984 is murder a prostitute. 492 00:30:02,024 --> 00:30:03,640 LAUGHTER 493 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,520 Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Fry! 494 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:10,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 495 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,204 Thank you for coming back, have a seat. 496 00:30:13,244 --> 00:30:15,296 Hello, everybody. Hello. 497 00:30:15,336 --> 00:30:16,376 Wow. 498 00:30:16,416 --> 00:30:19,000 Where's the rest of you? Oh, gosh, well... 499 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,768 I've never seen anything like it. Oh, you are kind. 500 00:30:21,808 --> 00:30:23,408 What you're really saying is 501 00:30:23,448 --> 00:30:26,532 you've never seen anything like itbefore when I was so grotesquely fat. 502 00:30:26,572 --> 00:30:29,172 You were a sizeable chap and now you are a rake. 503 00:30:29,212 --> 00:30:30,548 Oh, thank you. 504 00:30:30,588 --> 00:30:31,768 How much have you lost? 505 00:30:31,808 --> 00:30:33,488 Nearly six stone. 506 00:30:33,528 --> 00:30:34,832 Yeah, gasp. Thank you. 507 00:30:34,872 --> 00:30:40,608 APPLAUSE 508 00:30:40,648 --> 00:30:42,532 How? 509 00:30:42,572 --> 00:30:44,936 I started by walking a lot just every morning. 510 00:30:44,976 --> 00:30:46,812 LAUGHTER No, you're pulling that face, 511 00:30:46,852 --> 00:30:51,968 but walking is made magnificent by audio books. 512 00:30:52,008 --> 00:30:55,376 Just list all the books that you'venever read that you wanted to read. 513 00:30:55,416 --> 00:30:58,676 For example, I've just had Tim Robbins in my ear 514 00:30:58,716 --> 00:31:00,688 reading The Great Gatsby. 515 00:31:00,728 --> 00:31:03,720 It is about the supreme experience you can have. 516 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:07,504 And you eat up the miles. Do you do your books in audio-book form? 517 00:31:07,544 --> 00:31:10,172 I have no idea. You would know, you'd remember. 518 00:31:10,212 --> 00:31:11,644 I've never read them out. 519 00:31:11,684 --> 00:31:13,376 Right. I mean you are the mo... 520 00:31:13,416 --> 00:31:16,048 I wonder if there is a single household in Britain 521 00:31:16,088 --> 00:31:18,488 that doesn't go to sleep at night 522 00:31:18,528 --> 00:31:21,784 without the sound of you wafting out of the children's bedrooms. 523 00:31:21,824 --> 00:31:23,676 Is it just me or is it every child goes...? 524 00:31:23,716 --> 00:31:26,080 I had a man shout at me, 525 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,112 "My children go to bed with you." 526 00:31:28,152 --> 00:31:30,408 LAUGHTER 527 00:31:30,448 --> 00:31:32,940 It staggers me, you've managed to lose all this weight 528 00:31:32,980 --> 00:31:36,252 even though recently you spent how many months in America? 529 00:31:36,292 --> 00:31:39,688 Oh, yes - about eight or nine months- all told. 530 00:31:39,728 --> 00:31:43,172 You did a lot of driving, the whole- thing in your London taxi. Yeah. 531 00:31:43,212 --> 00:31:45,688 Nobody loses weight in America. 532 00:31:45,728 --> 00:31:48,004 You're right and that's what brought me to it. 533 00:31:48,044 --> 00:31:51,504 I finished the American thing last year 534 00:31:51,544 --> 00:31:56,584 and by about a month or twoafterwards I was at my full 21 stone. 535 00:31:56,624 --> 00:31:58,600 It's life on the road, the freeways 536 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,300 and those truck stops and places just... 537 00:32:01,340 --> 00:32:03,660 You visited Detroit in your... 538 00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:08,376 I did. I actually went to the General Motors Headquarters 539 00:32:08,416 --> 00:32:11,284 and was taken round in a brand-new Cadillac by the designer. 540 00:32:11,324 --> 00:32:13,476 This was only about six months before 541 00:32:13,516 --> 00:32:16,080 General Motors was basically bankrupt. 542 00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:20,836 Yeah. And he said, "We're still the biggest automobile company in the world." 543 00:32:20,876 --> 00:32:24,756 He said, "All my life has led up to this, I've designed my own Cadillac." 544 00:32:24,796 --> 00:32:29,192 He grew up in a family who... His father worked in Ford. 545 00:32:29,232 --> 00:32:32,600 And when he went to college to do automotive design 546 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,988 and he told his father he'd got a job, 547 00:32:35,028 --> 00:32:38,348 his father said, "That's great, son." He said, "..At GM." 548 00:32:38,388 --> 00:32:40,568 And his father didn't talk to him for two weeks. 549 00:32:40,608 --> 00:32:42,972 If he'd tried that in Australia! Oh, yes! 550 00:32:43,012 --> 00:32:45,648 In Australia they have pitched battles between fans of... 551 00:32:45,688 --> 00:32:50,444 Can you imagine here someone with a Vectra beating a Mondeo owner to death 552 00:32:50,484 --> 00:32:51,836 with a bat? LAUGHTER 553 00:32:51,876 --> 00:32:53,208 They're like that over there. 554 00:32:53,248 --> 00:32:54,864 Yeah. 555 00:32:54,904 --> 00:32:56,600 I've got to move on to this. 556 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:57,768 Because you are a big fan of Twitter. 557 00:32:57,808 --> 00:32:59,680 Yes. 558 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,380 I was reading it the other day 559 00:33:01,420 --> 00:33:03,040 when you said you'd got from Norwich to London 560 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:07,708 in a time that was impossible if you hadn't driven in bus lanes. 561 00:33:07,748 --> 00:33:09,848 Yes, all right. I didn't say that. 562 00:33:09,888 --> 00:33:13,128 I didn't say it was impossible if I hadn't driven in bus lanes, 563 00:33:13,168 --> 00:33:15,724 others said, "You must have used bus lanes." 564 00:33:15,764 --> 00:33:17,804 It is illegal for me to drive in bus lanes. 565 00:33:17,844 --> 00:33:19,456 Even though you drive a taxi? 566 00:33:19,496 --> 00:33:21,160 I do drive a London taxi. 567 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,364 Do you think, "I'm not going to go in that bus lane"? 568 00:33:23,404 --> 00:33:25,116 LAUGHTER 569 00:33:25,156 --> 00:33:27,568 I...sometimes... 570 00:33:27,608 --> 00:33:30,456 You read that thing, it says from seven till something. 571 00:33:30,496 --> 00:33:32,352 "Oh, well, that must be now." 572 00:33:32,392 --> 00:33:34,960 LAUGHTER My favourite as you drive down here, 573 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,972 you'll see it on your way home, 574 00:33:37,012 --> 00:33:39,224 in Guildford it said there's a bus lane. 575 00:33:39,264 --> 00:33:42,568 And it says, "Buses and good vehicles only". 576 00:33:42,608 --> 00:33:45,176 It says "goods" but in my mind, I just think, 577 00:33:45,216 --> 00:33:48,008 "This a Mercedes. It's a good car." 578 00:33:48,048 --> 00:33:51,128 I can be at the track hours faster than everybody else. 579 00:33:51,168 --> 00:33:53,128 It's like ones that say, "access only". 580 00:33:53,168 --> 00:33:56,848 I want access through this!LAUGHTER 581 00:33:56,888 --> 00:33:58,288 Going back to Twitter, I'm fascinated 582 00:33:58,328 --> 00:34:00,320 you find the time to do that. Everything you do 583 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,384 you tell, half a million people are now following you. 584 00:34:03,424 --> 00:34:06,052 Yes, it's become rather a large number. 585 00:34:06,092 --> 00:34:09,024 When it started it was a few thousand and it's grown and grown 586 00:34:09,064 --> 00:34:10,712 and now everybody knows about it. 587 00:34:10,752 --> 00:34:11,744 I don't Twitter, obviously, 588 00:34:11,784 --> 00:34:13,384 but the thing we do share is a love 589 00:34:13,424 --> 00:34:16,208 of a specific type of mobile telephone. 590 00:34:16,248 --> 00:34:20,148 Yes, we stroke it, we love it, it has applications that are astonishing. 591 00:34:20,188 --> 00:34:22,600 OK, this application business - 592 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,556 I've only recently been introduced to it. 593 00:34:25,596 --> 00:34:27,072 You told me about the one 594 00:34:27,112 --> 00:34:29,276 where you can play it as a reco... Have you got that? 595 00:34:29,316 --> 00:34:30,636 Yeah, oh yes, it's the... 596 00:34:30,676 --> 00:34:37,524 Ocarina's the one where you actually blow on it. 597 00:34:37,564 --> 00:34:38,760 And what's that other one? 598 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,508 This one might not be quite so upyour strata but it's called Grindr. 599 00:34:41,548 --> 00:34:43,336 And this... AUDIENCE MEMBER LAUGHS 600 00:34:43,376 --> 00:34:44,928 Hello! 601 00:34:44,968 --> 00:34:45,868 LAUGHTER 602 00:34:45,908 --> 00:34:46,884 Over there. 603 00:34:46,924 --> 00:34:49,536 Who here knows what Grindr is, hands up. 604 00:34:49,576 --> 00:34:51,728 No-one's going to now. Who made that noise? 605 00:34:51,768 --> 00:34:54,584 Somebody must be next to the man that went "Huh-uh-uh!" 606 00:34:54,624 --> 00:34:55,584 It's... 607 00:34:55,624 --> 00:34:57,600 What is Grindr? 608 00:34:57,640 --> 00:34:59,088 It's basically a gay-cruising application. 609 00:34:59,128 --> 00:35:01,680 LAUGHTER 610 00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:03,276 When you load it... 611 00:35:03,316 --> 00:35:04,540 Get this, when you load it, 612 00:35:04,580 --> 00:35:07,256 up appear all kinds of faces and pictures 613 00:35:07,296 --> 00:35:11,088 and what's so amusing is, you press them and it goes like, 614 00:35:11,128 --> 00:35:13,412 "Hi, I'm Mike, hello..." 615 00:35:13,452 --> 00:35:16,164 and it tells you how close they are.- It says he's 20 yards away. 616 00:35:16,204 --> 00:35:18,928 No! Yeah! You can find the nearest,- cruising homosexual with that. 617 00:35:18,968 --> 00:35:19,996 LAUGHTER 618 00:35:20,036 --> 00:35:22,336 Yeah. 619 00:35:22,376 --> 00:35:24,368 Is there one...? Come on! 620 00:35:24,408 --> 00:35:26,288 Let's have a look. 621 00:35:26,328 --> 00:35:28,336 Who here...? Come on, Stephen, there must be one in here. 622 00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:30,132 I have to turn it on. 623 00:35:30,172 --> 00:35:32,180 Talk amongst yourselves for a moment. 624 00:35:32,220 --> 00:35:34,276 Anybody who's got Grindr turn it on. 625 00:35:34,316 --> 00:35:36,168 Let's see if anybody's got it. 626 00:35:36,208 --> 00:35:39,228 Just making sure mine isn't on. LAUGHTER 627 00:35:39,268 --> 00:35:41,244 I've got to get one of these. Imagine in traffic jams? 628 00:35:41,284 --> 00:35:44,368 LAUGHTER 629 00:35:44,408 --> 00:35:45,900 Here we are. Here's some... 630 00:35:45,940 --> 00:35:47,928 These are all homosexuals then? Yes. 631 00:35:47,968 --> 00:35:49,288 LAUGHTER 632 00:35:49,328 --> 00:35:51,996 You see... He's nine miles away, I'm afraid. 633 00:35:52,036 --> 00:35:54,132 Where is he nine miles away? 634 00:35:54,172 --> 00:35:56,664 We can drive there, I've got my Merc, we can get there in a jiffy! 635 00:35:56,704 --> 00:35:59,824 There's no-one near enough. There's nobody in this room?! 636 00:35:59,864 --> 00:36:02,324 Some of them show rude parts which you won't want to see. 637 00:36:02,364 --> 00:36:04,088 Bloody hell! JEREMY LAUGHS 638 00:36:04,128 --> 00:36:09,884 Now... 639 00:36:09,924 --> 00:36:12,760 It's a car show, I knew there was something. 640 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,280 And of course you came down here to do a lap. 641 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,040 Did you do it in your taxi? 642 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,668 No, I drove in the reasonably-priced car. 643 00:36:19,708 --> 00:36:22,512 Am I allowed to reveal the truth? It's rather embarrassing, 644 00:36:22,552 --> 00:36:25,040 I drove in two reasonably-priced cars because the first one, 645 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:28,888 I won't say I totalled it but...LAUGHTER 646 00:36:28,928 --> 00:36:32,232 I...I gave it a few bangs and it started dripping oil 647 00:36:32,272 --> 00:36:35,920 and we obviously thought that was not safe to have. 648 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,028 Would anybody here like to see any of these bangs? 649 00:36:38,068 --> 00:36:40,200 AUDIENCE: Yes! 650 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:43,368 Let's play this tape and see how you did in the sort of run-up. 651 00:36:43,408 --> 00:36:44,824 Let's have a look. 652 00:36:44,864 --> 00:36:48,008 It's the second-to-last corner. Yes! Oh, that's a high speed. 653 00:36:48,048 --> 00:36:50,212 Nice work(!) LAUGHTER 654 00:36:50,252 --> 00:36:51,808 Here's the second attempt... 655 00:36:51,848 --> 00:36:54,400 Held it...not held it. 656 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,368 Yes, G-force is there. 657 00:36:57,408 --> 00:36:59,604 OK, there's a third attempt. 658 00:36:59,644 --> 00:37:01,948 Oh, BLEEP! LAUGHTER 659 00:37:01,988 --> 00:37:04,496 Well done, Stephen, brilliant! APPLAUSE 660 00:37:04,536 --> 00:37:09,416 That's courage! 661 00:37:09,456 --> 00:37:13,448 Every time, I said to myself, "Smoothly." 662 00:37:13,488 --> 00:37:15,840 What happens when I'm behind the wheel? 663 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:19,324 "Argh!" It's just... And so I lost goodness knows how many seconds. 664 00:37:19,364 --> 00:37:21,856 I am so angry with myself but I had a great time. 665 00:37:21,896 --> 00:37:24,120 Who here would like to see Stephen's real lap? 666 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,028 AUDIENCE: Yes! 667 00:37:26,068 --> 00:37:28,120 Good, let's have a look. 668 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:30,592 That's a smoking start. 669 00:37:30,632 --> 00:37:32,728 This is going to be smooth. 670 00:37:32,768 --> 00:37:36,728 It might not be fast but let's make it smooth, Stephen, smooth. 671 00:37:36,768 --> 00:37:39,264 That's very good. Let's have a look...that's a smooth line. 672 00:37:39,304 --> 00:37:42,776 Perfect. That's the line The Stig teaches. 673 00:37:42,816 --> 00:37:46,368 With his... That's fantastic! 674 00:37:46,408 --> 00:37:48,872 Quite smooth, maybe too smooth. 675 00:37:48,912 --> 00:37:51,292 LAUGHTER 676 00:37:51,332 --> 00:37:54,416 A big dip there, that was heavy on the brakes. 677 00:37:54,456 --> 00:37:56,464 Possibly could have been heavier still, actually, 678 00:37:56,504 --> 00:37:58,480 because that's a bit of understeer. 679 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:02,216 My word! It's hot too and I can't even claim it's wet 680 00:38:02,256 --> 00:38:09,516 except around my face! Ah! 681 00:38:09,556 --> 00:38:11,968 Hammerhead, this is the one that sorts out the men from the Grindrs. 682 00:38:12,008 --> 00:38:13,496 LAUGHTER 683 00:38:13,536 --> 00:38:16,044 That is bang-on, Stephen. 684 00:38:16,084 --> 00:38:19,876 Ah, you bitch. Oh, come on! LAUGHTER 685 00:38:19,916 --> 00:38:21,280 Here we go. 686 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,060 That's quick, that's very good. 687 00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:24,448 Ah! 688 00:38:24,488 --> 00:38:28,516 You're having a crisis! LAUGHTER 689 00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:31,484 Here we go into the... Did he get it right this time? 690 00:38:31,524 --> 00:38:34,032 That is bang-on, cutting the corner nicely. 691 00:38:34,072 --> 00:38:37,168 Coming up to Gambon and... 692 00:38:37,208 --> 00:38:40,448 Yep, that just about kissed the apex and there we are, across the line! 693 00:38:40,488 --> 00:38:43,876 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Dear me! 694 00:38:43,916 --> 00:38:45,312 That was smooth. 695 00:38:45,352 --> 00:38:47,156 Oh, well, it was smooth. 696 00:38:47,196 --> 00:38:49,388 So... 697 00:38:49,428 --> 00:38:52,328 I'll give you the one. Oh, that's good. 698 00:38:52,368 --> 00:38:54,904 That means that you've beaten Jimmy- Carr, you've beaten Brian Cox. 699 00:38:54,944 --> 00:38:57,296 Who else do you think you beat? 700 00:38:57,336 --> 00:38:59,516 It would be nice to beat Michael Gambon, 701 00:38:59,556 --> 00:39:01,544 because that would put me between him and Jools. 702 00:39:01,584 --> 00:39:04,296 If I beat 1.50 it would be something- but I doubt I did. 703 00:39:04,336 --> 00:39:07,800 The problem is you were beautifully smooth 704 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,656 but smoothness needs to be teamed with speed. 705 00:39:10,696 --> 00:39:13,236 Oh, no... And as a result, 706 00:39:13,276 --> 00:39:19,108 you had a very smooth but quite steady 1 minute 51 dead. 707 00:39:19,148 --> 00:39:21,440 Oh, no!APPLAUSE 708 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,188 Oh! 709 00:39:23,228 --> 00:39:25,624 Well... 710 00:39:25,664 --> 00:39:27,216 I could give you a "hot". 711 00:39:27,256 --> 00:39:30,108 Give me a "hot". I wanted a "hot". 712 00:39:30,148 --> 00:39:32,672 I could give you a hot, it was a hot day and, of course, 713 00:39:32,712 --> 00:39:33,904 we on Top Gear are responsible for it. 714 00:39:33,944 --> 00:39:35,780 Is that Alan Davies? Alan... 715 00:39:35,820 --> 00:39:39,888 1.50.3, is that Alan D there? Alan Davies. I'll never hear the end of that. 716 00:39:39,928 --> 00:39:43,168 Do you know what? I could be guaranteed that Alan doesn't watch Top Gear. 717 00:39:43,208 --> 00:39:45,548 So, if you just go back and say, "I did 1.47..." 718 00:39:45,588 --> 00:39:48,248 LAUGHTER He'll never know. 719 00:39:48,288 --> 00:39:50,216 Ladies and gentleman, Stephen Fry! 720 00:39:50,256 --> 00:40:00,968 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 721 00:40:01,008 --> 00:40:02,752 Excellent. 722 00:40:02,792 --> 00:40:05,360 Now... 723 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,720 Earlier on we bought, insured and customised three cars 724 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:12,956 that we feel are ideal for 17-year-olds and their parents and the insurance companies. 725 00:40:12,996 --> 00:40:15,800 Yeah, I had a bit of a problem in the first challenge 726 00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:19,924 when I sort-of ripped the body kit off the back on my Hyundai. 727 00:40:19,964 --> 00:40:23,624 Yep. Jeremy broke the back window of his Volvo with an anarchy flag. 728 00:40:23,664 --> 00:40:25,564 It's a bit of a long story. Yeah. 729 00:40:25,604 --> 00:40:32,248 Anyway, coming up now is the most realistic challenge ever attempted on British television. 730 00:40:32,288 --> 00:40:34,080 It's something we've all done. 731 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,392 We were told to turn up at our parents' house 732 00:40:36,432 --> 00:40:40,860 and get up the drive at three o'clock in the morning... 733 00:40:40,900 --> 00:40:45,800 three hours after we'd said we'd be in, without waking them up. 734 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,472 The winner would be the one who could do it the most quietly. 735 00:40:49,512 --> 00:40:52,848 OWL HOOTS 736 00:40:52,888 --> 00:40:55,016 'At three o'clock the next morning, 737 00:40:55,056 --> 00:40:58,316 'the man with the decibelometer was in place. 738 00:40:58,356 --> 00:41:02,284 'And I was first to go.' 739 00:41:02,324 --> 00:41:05,608 Oh, God. Ugh! 740 00:41:05,648 --> 00:41:12,220 'Despite the odd squeak from me, things were going well.' 741 00:41:12,260 --> 00:41:15,608 Ugh! 742 00:41:15,648 --> 00:41:18,360 WHISPERS: Yeah, this is a professional job. 743 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,892 What I'm doing is reversing the car in 744 00:41:20,932 --> 00:41:28,376 so that it hides the back and my mother won't see what I've done. 745 00:41:28,416 --> 00:41:32,192 Find out the noise. 746 00:41:32,232 --> 00:41:40,328 50.4 decibels, that's like custard rustling, absolutely soundless. 747 00:41:40,368 --> 00:41:45,284 'Then it was Jeremy's go with the big, heavy Volvo.' 748 00:41:45,324 --> 00:41:48,096 SHOUTING: Oh, for God's sake! 749 00:41:48,136 --> 00:41:49,532 Yeah, that would be him. 750 00:41:49,572 --> 00:41:51,348 Come on. Come on! 751 00:41:51,388 --> 00:41:54,520 Ugh! Oh, God! 752 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,708 'Mercifully the drive finally levelled out.' 753 00:41:57,748 --> 00:42:04,784 Come on, you stupid lump of Swedish lead. 754 00:42:04,824 --> 00:42:09,628 Oh, my God! 755 00:42:09,668 --> 00:42:13,160 SMASHING GLASS 756 00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:25,880 THEY LAUGH 757 00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,020 I might get in trouble. 758 00:42:28,060 --> 00:42:30,440 Don't make too much noise, you'll wake them up, mate. 759 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:31,944 Oh, my God! 760 00:42:31,984 --> 00:42:34,160 It's the anarchy flag. 761 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:35,660 That's what did it! That's what did it. 762 00:42:35,700 --> 00:42:37,892 Say it was stolen by anarchists 763 00:42:37,932 --> 00:42:41,224 and they buried it in the summer house. Job done! 764 00:42:41,264 --> 00:42:45,380 'Jeremy decided it would be quieter- to drive out of the wreckage.' 765 00:42:45,420 --> 00:42:47,784 SMASHING GLASS 766 00:42:47,824 --> 00:42:50,504 Oh, no, no, no! 767 00:42:50,544 --> 00:42:54,600 Shhh! 768 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,320 There's no damage! 769 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,160 Well, I think that's maybe pushing it a bit. 770 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:00,632 This... 771 00:43:00,672 --> 00:43:02,536 and there's quite a lot of damage there. 772 00:43:02,576 --> 00:43:04,096 An awful lot. 773 00:43:04,136 --> 00:43:06,476 'Hammond had possibly pipped me on this one.' 774 00:43:06,516 --> 00:43:08,896 What was yours? 50.4. 775 00:43:08,936 --> 00:43:10,116 50.4? 776 00:43:10,156 --> 00:43:12,176 66.1! 777 00:43:12,216 --> 00:43:14,816 My Mum and Dad, they didn't wake up. 778 00:43:14,856 --> 00:43:17,836 It's a good job they're heroin addicts. 779 00:43:17,876 --> 00:43:21,052 'Then it was my turn.' 780 00:43:21,092 --> 00:43:23,960 I can do it on the engine cos the engine's quiet. 781 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,836 The interesting thing is what James 782 00:43:25,876 --> 00:43:28,456 would have been out doing till late as a teenager. 783 00:43:28,496 --> 00:43:32,084 How long does choir practice go on? 784 00:43:32,124 --> 00:43:34,836 I can't actually see where the drive goes. 785 00:43:34,876 --> 00:43:38,084 JEREMY CLEARS HIS THROAT What? 786 00:43:38,124 --> 00:43:42,332 Is that the controller...?! RICHARD LAUGHS 787 00:43:42,372 --> 00:43:45,052 Ready, steady and... 788 00:43:45,092 --> 00:43:54,428 LOUD TECHNO MUSIC For God's sake! No! 789 00:43:54,468 --> 00:43:59,520 You're so unfunny. 790 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,400 God above! 791 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,960 'James had lost this challenge... 792 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,896 'quite badly.' JEREMY AND RICHARD LAUGH 793 00:44:07,936 --> 00:44:09,208 Shall we go in and go to bed? 794 00:44:09,248 --> 00:44:10,148 Hold it! Hold it! 795 00:44:10,188 --> 00:44:11,304 Right, wait. 796 00:44:11,344 --> 00:44:16,412 Can you smell smoke on my fingers? THEY LAUGH 797 00:44:16,452 --> 00:44:21,276 The following morning, we were told- to report to our test track for the- next challenge. 798 00:44:21,316 --> 00:44:26,584 Oddly though, the man in the white coat was nowhere to be seen. 799 00:44:26,624 --> 00:44:28,148 What was the actual colour of your car? 800 00:44:28,188 --> 00:44:29,304 Red, it actually... 801 00:44:29,344 --> 00:44:31,648 No, no! Amber gold. 802 00:44:31,688 --> 00:44:34,648 Oh... Amber gold. Can you remember the exact colour of yours? 803 00:44:34,688 --> 00:44:36,616 Sunrise yellow. 804 00:44:36,656 --> 00:44:46,208 Lads! 805 00:44:46,248 --> 00:44:49,928 This man's destroying your Volvo. Are you going to sort him out? 806 00:44:49,968 --> 00:44:53,744 'The psychopath with the forklift then did the same to my Golf 807 00:44:53,784 --> 00:44:55,840 'and Hammond's Hyundai.' 808 00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,052 Ah! 809 00:44:57,092 --> 00:45:01,600 Mind the body kit! 810 00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:03,868 This does feel like a terrible... 811 00:45:03,908 --> 00:45:06,664 Well, hopefully... This had better be good. 812 00:45:06,704 --> 00:45:11,276 Ha-ha, "As you are 17, it is certain that at some point in the near future, 813 00:45:11,316 --> 00:45:13,868 "you will roll your car. 814 00:45:13,908 --> 00:45:17,056 "So, you must now mend it in such a way 815 00:45:17,096 --> 00:45:20,648 "that your parents won't be able to spot the damage. 816 00:45:20,688 --> 00:45:26,180 "This is to find out how easy they are to repair." 817 00:45:26,220 --> 00:45:29,524 Right, well we'd better get these... Let's get them indoors... Yeah. 818 00:45:29,564 --> 00:45:34,868 ..and break out the hammers. 819 00:45:34,908 --> 00:45:38,524 'Richard, however, decided he didn't need a hammer.' 820 00:45:38,564 --> 00:45:42,152 And straightaway, I've improved it. 821 00:45:42,192 --> 00:45:43,228 God, a horse of a...ah! 822 00:45:43,268 --> 00:45:45,648 Ah! Argh! 823 00:45:45,688 --> 00:45:48,508 You don't need hammers and shouting. 824 00:45:48,548 --> 00:45:51,616 See this bit here, small scuff, 825 00:45:51,656 --> 00:45:56,680 watch that disappear thanks to the magic of polish. 826 00:45:56,720 --> 00:46:00,184 'With the roof done, I now have to sort the bonnet.' 827 00:46:00,224 --> 00:46:05,308 Here's a tip. Should you ever roll,- your coupe, stylish, 828 00:46:05,348 --> 00:46:13,716 and need to straighten a dent, here's what you do. 829 00:46:13,756 --> 00:46:16,356 That's not...ugh! 830 00:46:16,396 --> 00:46:20,040 'Jeremy, meanwhile, was cheating.' 831 00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:25,928 One thing I've learned is that all firemen have at some point crashed their cars when they were teenagers. 832 00:46:25,968 --> 00:46:29,368 So, I've borrowed a fireman. Did you ever crash a car? 833 00:46:29,408 --> 00:46:30,680 I certainly did. 834 00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:34,104 You were 17? RS Turbo, straight through a fence. 835 00:46:34,144 --> 00:46:38,104 So you understand the plight of the 17-year-old who's stuffed his Mum's car. 836 00:46:38,144 --> 00:46:41,136 Feeling the pain. 837 00:46:41,176 --> 00:46:47,904 So, do you think you could use some fireman equipment to make that like new? 838 00:46:47,944 --> 00:46:50,448 That's not what they're for. 839 00:46:50,488 --> 00:46:52,888 There were no fires in Surrey - 840 00:46:52,928 --> 00:46:57,604 it's too middle class. 841 00:46:57,644 --> 00:47:00,212 Spray it the same colour as the car. 842 00:47:00,252 --> 00:47:03,336 'After just two hours of hard work...' 843 00:47:03,376 --> 00:47:05,932 It's very important to turn the cloth frequently. 844 00:47:05,972 --> 00:47:09,776 '..we had made no difference whatsoever.' 845 00:47:09,816 --> 00:47:11,948 KNOCKING That's plastic. 846 00:47:11,988 --> 00:47:13,528 I had to do plastic too because 847 00:47:13,568 --> 00:47:16,696 the fireman's lift has changed the shape of the windscreen hole. 848 00:47:16,736 --> 00:47:19,200 'Then another challenge arrived.' 849 00:47:19,240 --> 00:47:22,776 Let's have a look. 850 00:47:22,816 --> 00:47:24,324 OK. 851 00:47:24,364 --> 00:47:27,964 "You will now race against the clock to see which car is the fastest. 852 00:47:28,004 --> 00:47:29,716 "You have to go down the main straight, 853 00:47:29,756 --> 00:47:31,264 "round the Hammerhead, do a handbrake turn 854 00:47:31,304 --> 00:47:33,640 "and come back the other way." 855 00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,856 That doesn't sound very hard. 856 00:47:35,896 --> 00:47:38,480 Oh, hang on, no, it says, "The track has been littered with obstacles 857 00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:43,216 "and you'll have five seconds added to your time for every object you don't hit." 858 00:47:43,256 --> 00:47:48,292 Don't hit? Well, that's what it says. 859 00:47:48,332 --> 00:47:49,560 'It was right. 860 00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,840 'The track was littered with all the flotsam 861 00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,920 'that teenagers like to crash into. 862 00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:59,856 'And then, at the finish line, there was a gap between two parked cars 863 00:47:59,896 --> 00:48:05,088 'that everyone, except a 17-year-old, can see isn't wide enough. 864 00:48:05,128 --> 00:48:07,028 'We also discovered that our handbrake turns 865 00:48:07,068 --> 00:48:10,464 'would be judged by three teenage girls.' 866 00:48:10,504 --> 00:48:12,776 That actually makes sense because as men, 867 00:48:12,816 --> 00:48:16,560 we know that nothing turns a 17-year-old girl on more 868 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,528 than a good handbrake turn. God, yeah, fact. 869 00:48:19,568 --> 00:48:22,404 It's like a peacock has its plumage, those birds in the jungle, 870 00:48:22,444 --> 00:48:25,824 they attract a mate with dancing about. We have the handbrake. 871 00:48:25,864 --> 00:48:27,720 That's what it's for. 872 00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,372 I have no feathers... But I can do this! 873 00:48:29,412 --> 00:48:32,640 Interestingly, girls will always say, "No, we're not interested." 874 00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:34,328 Oh, they never show it! 875 00:48:34,368 --> 00:48:35,968 They never have ever shown it. 876 00:48:36,008 --> 00:48:39,028 They're suppressing it very well. Very effectively. 877 00:48:39,068 --> 00:48:41,496 'Armed with this new information about women, 878 00:48:41,536 --> 00:48:44,764 'James decided to get some practice...' 879 00:48:44,804 --> 00:48:46,420 TYRES SCREECH 880 00:48:46,460 --> 00:48:48,448 '..while we talked to the girls.' 881 00:48:48,488 --> 00:48:50,640 I've got a motorbike. 882 00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:52,732 That's nice. Yeah. 883 00:48:52,772 --> 00:48:54,624 Have you seen him? He's rubbish. 884 00:48:54,664 --> 00:48:58,608 I did one yesterday at Glastonbury and it was brilliant. 885 00:48:58,648 --> 00:49:00,296 And... 886 00:49:00,336 --> 00:49:02,516 Urgh! 887 00:49:02,556 --> 00:49:04,328 That's him being rubbish. 888 00:49:04,368 --> 00:49:06,080 I did a huge one. 889 00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:07,876 He just can't do it, he can't do it 890 00:49:07,916 --> 00:49:11,560 and he's got no penis cos it came off once. 891 00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:16,800 'With James cleared off the track, I lined up for the off.' 892 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:19,404 Oh, that was a blinding start! 893 00:49:19,444 --> 00:49:21,828 What do you reckon his approach is going to be? 894 00:49:21,868 --> 00:49:23,704 Mmm... Fast. Violent. 895 00:49:23,744 --> 00:49:25,856 Oh, gotta hit this. 896 00:49:25,896 --> 00:49:28,528 Missed! 897 00:49:28,568 --> 00:49:31,000 Oh, that's the bus shelter, the bus shelter's good. 898 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:35,168 This is like any 17-year-old coming home from work. 899 00:49:35,208 --> 00:49:37,484 He's got to the flower stall. 900 00:49:37,524 --> 00:49:42,204 My God! That's substantial. Yee-ha! 901 00:49:42,244 --> 00:49:44,516 That was strangely satisfying. 902 00:49:44,556 --> 00:49:47,392 Roadworks. 903 00:49:47,432 --> 00:49:50,296 That's good. Wheelie bins. 904 00:49:50,336 --> 00:49:52,316 Fantastic! 905 00:49:52,356 --> 00:50:00,000 'Sadly the handbrake turn was a disaster.' 906 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,596 There's nothing I can do about the washer bottle, 907 00:50:02,636 --> 00:50:05,888 that is a consequence of the accident. 908 00:50:05,928 --> 00:50:08,424 Oh! That was still there! 909 00:50:08,464 --> 00:50:11,888 Holy cow, through we go! 910 00:50:11,928 --> 00:50:16,548 Yes! 911 00:50:16,588 --> 00:50:19,172 'James was next.' 912 00:50:19,212 --> 00:50:21,688 Yes, yes, do it! 913 00:50:21,728 --> 00:50:25,328 LOUD TECHNO MUSIC Oh, for God's sake. 914 00:50:25,368 --> 00:50:26,860 No! 915 00:50:26,900 --> 00:50:29,828 He's missed the car. 916 00:50:29,868 --> 00:50:31,596 Oh, neat! 917 00:50:31,636 --> 00:50:33,204 'Down the back straight it was hard to see 918 00:50:33,244 --> 00:50:36,860 'why he'd bothered with a helmet.' 919 00:50:36,900 --> 00:50:41,844 MUSIC: "Morning" by Grieg 920 00:50:41,884 --> 00:50:48,376 UPPER-CLASS ACCENT: Mum, I've been to the Post Office. 921 00:50:48,416 --> 00:50:55,532 'But then as he approached the girls, all became clear.' 922 00:50:55,572 --> 00:50:58,128 They're hot for James May right now! 923 00:50:58,168 --> 00:51:02,296 I might as well have cut my penis off for all the good that did. 924 00:51:02,336 --> 00:51:04,036 Good idea! Quick! 925 00:51:04,076 --> 00:51:08,452 I know what you're thinking, I want to do it too. 926 00:51:08,492 --> 00:51:09,752 There you go. 927 00:51:09,792 --> 00:51:15,204 WHISTLING Perfect. 928 00:51:15,244 --> 00:51:16,800 Yeah! 929 00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:18,328 Oh! 930 00:51:18,368 --> 00:51:19,988 That's not gone quite as well. 931 00:51:20,028 --> 00:51:23,608 'So now it was all down to me.' 932 00:51:23,648 --> 00:51:26,968 So they've both missed the car, the first obstacle. I won't. 933 00:51:27,008 --> 00:51:30,160 Go! 934 00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:32,456 Yeah, you see! Oh, yeah! 935 00:51:32,496 --> 00:51:35,360 35 seconds before he moved more than a yard. 936 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:40,688 It's round the Hammerhead the normal way. 937 00:51:40,728 --> 00:51:45,756 Oh, what a pillock. 938 00:51:45,796 --> 00:51:50,376 You all right? 939 00:51:50,416 --> 00:51:51,756 Dead. 940 00:51:51,796 --> 00:51:54,036 Really? Yeah. 941 00:51:54,076 --> 00:51:56,784 Yeah. Anyway...uh... 942 00:51:56,824 --> 00:51:58,348 Back to the studio. 943 00:51:58,388 --> 00:51:59,688 That's my line! 944 00:51:59,728 --> 00:52:08,600 APPLAUSE 945 00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:11,628 Luckily, children, I got better. 946 00:52:11,668 --> 00:52:14,300 You might not be so lucky. 947 00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:17,440 Yes, it's like my penis. That grew back. 948 00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:20,848 Yours might not. 949 00:52:20,888 --> 00:52:22,880 Anyway... 950 00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:24,584 Let's have a look how we all did. 951 00:52:24,624 --> 00:52:28,320 No real surprises in the scoring until we get to the repair section 952 00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:30,068 where I got 2, Hammond got 4, 953 00:52:30,108 --> 00:52:32,520 James, you got -100. 954 00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:33,880 LAUGHTER Is that a minus?! 955 00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:35,488 It's a minus. Oh, come on! 956 00:52:35,528 --> 00:52:37,080 What did you expect? You failed to address 957 00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:40,240 the ruined bonnet, the crumpled roof, 958 00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:41,928 door mirror missing, all these dents. 959 00:52:41,968 --> 00:52:45,116 All you did was concentrate all your time on one scratch 960 00:52:45,156 --> 00:52:47,756 and it's still here! Look! LAUGHTER 961 00:52:47,796 --> 00:52:49,364 I ran out of time! 962 00:52:49,404 --> 00:52:52,756 You proved what I've said all along, polish doesn't work. 963 00:52:52,796 --> 00:52:54,612 It can't get rid of anything. 964 00:52:54,652 --> 00:52:57,208 When do you ever see the NHS go, "Oh, that's a nasty head wound, 965 00:52:57,248 --> 00:53:01,084 "We'll get some T-Cut on it." It doesn't get rid of anything! 966 00:53:01,124 --> 00:53:02,724 You ended up with a really clean scratch. 967 00:53:02,764 --> 00:53:04,116 Exactly! 968 00:53:04,156 --> 00:53:06,224 Let's move on. We've got the lap of crashes. 969 00:53:06,264 --> 00:53:08,476 Jeremy, you got 121. 970 00:53:08,516 --> 00:53:10,128 I got 103. 971 00:53:10,168 --> 00:53:14,600 Hammond, you got -174. 972 00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:19,680 Oh, what? So conveniently I just happen to get minus the number of points I have? 973 00:53:19,720 --> 00:53:21,364 Yes. Right. LAUGHTER 974 00:53:21,404 --> 00:53:24,288 There's no other words, you're on nought. 975 00:53:24,328 --> 00:53:26,160 OK, but now, now is the big one - 976 00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,664 the handbrake turn. 977 00:53:28,704 --> 00:53:35,708 Our teenage judges said they were prepared to award up to 5 points for a really good one. 978 00:53:35,748 --> 00:53:38,836 5 points? That means I can't possibly win. 979 00:53:38,876 --> 00:53:40,804 SQUEAKING No. What's your car doing? 980 00:53:40,844 --> 00:53:43,332 Can I just say, it can't stop that happening. 981 00:53:43,372 --> 00:53:44,556 LAUGHTER What happened was... 982 00:53:44,596 --> 00:53:47,240 You see the thing is, this got clobbered here, 983 00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:51,148 the headlight washer and it's blown- the fuse and that just is constant, 984 00:53:51,188 --> 00:53:53,456 it's been going on since we filmed it in March. 985 00:53:53,496 --> 00:53:56,148 Jeremy Clarkson, it is now between you and me. Yes, it is. 986 00:53:56,188 --> 00:53:59,352 Like last week, like the train So your handbrake turn... Yes. 987 00:53:59,392 --> 00:54:01,040 ..what did it get? 988 00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,788 The girls awarded me... 989 00:54:03,828 --> 00:54:05,256 LAUGHTER 990 00:54:05,296 --> 00:54:07,692 ..nothing! 991 00:54:07,732 --> 00:54:09,768 No poi... Why do you do that? 992 00:54:09,808 --> 00:54:12,928 Why can't you admit that you are turned on by handbrake turns? 993 00:54:12,968 --> 00:54:14,664 Just give in to it! Just go with it! 994 00:54:14,704 --> 00:54:16,556 You know this as a man. 995 00:54:16,596 --> 00:54:19,664 There's nothing else going for you.- No, come on! 996 00:54:19,704 --> 00:54:21,120 That is what does it. 997 00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:23,632 You think we're immature when we do them. Yeah. 998 00:54:23,672 --> 00:54:27,256 But you don't! Secretly... We do! 999 00:54:27,296 --> 00:54:28,600 You have a crisis. 1000 00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:30,412 LAUGHTER 1001 00:54:30,452 --> 00:54:32,788 I bet you when cars... I'm sorry. 1002 00:54:32,828 --> 00:54:37,120 Can somebody... Can you just...? 1003 00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:41,024 This is consumer advice as well. Shut up! 1004 00:54:41,064 --> 00:54:45,176 This is also consumer advice... The door handle's come off! 1005 00:54:45,216 --> 00:54:48,728 Can you go in there and make that noise please stop? 1006 00:54:48,768 --> 00:54:50,788 Can you open the door? 1007 00:54:50,828 --> 00:54:53,444 Just tu... Can you turn the key? 1008 00:54:53,484 --> 00:54:55,692 Yes! 1009 00:54:55,732 --> 00:54:59,692 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1010 00:54:59,732 --> 00:55:01,820 Oh, now that's... 1011 00:55:01,860 --> 00:55:04,384 Come on, you're turned on now! 1012 00:55:04,424 --> 00:55:05,320 LAUGHTER 1013 00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:06,712 Anyway, I got nought? Yes. 1014 00:55:06,752 --> 00:55:12,228 And that means you are now 3 points behind me. 1015 00:55:12,268 --> 00:55:13,916 So if you got 4, 1016 00:55:13,956 --> 00:55:15,896 the girls gave you 4... 1017 00:55:15,936 --> 00:55:18,540 They did, didn't they? They did. What did they give you? 1018 00:55:18,580 --> 00:55:20,400 Nothing. 1019 00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:27,384 Yes! I am victorious! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1020 00:55:27,424 --> 00:55:29,320 Fairly beaten. 1021 00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:33,680 Hold on! No, no, no. 1022 00:55:33,720 --> 00:55:35,132 Think about it. Think what you're applauding, 1023 00:55:35,172 --> 00:55:37,288 because what we're saying then is 1024 00:55:37,328 --> 00:55:44,244 that the best, THE BEST car for a 17-year-old is a beige Volvo estate with a broken back window. 1025 00:55:44,284 --> 00:55:46,808 Yep, that's what my children are getting. 1026 00:55:46,848 --> 00:55:49,336 Anyway, that is the end, you'll be relieved to hear 1027 00:55:49,376 --> 00:55:52,648 of the consumer advice for this week. 1028 00:55:52,688 --> 00:55:54,560 No, no it's not because there is some more. 1029 00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:57,244 Earlier on in the show, before I was...killed, 1030 00:55:57,284 --> 00:56:00,540 I was in Abu Dhabi testing the new Lamborghini Murcielago 1031 00:56:00,580 --> 00:56:04,772 and, in fact, I'm still there because now it's time for the moment 1032 00:56:04,812 --> 00:56:07,808 petrolheads all over the world have been waiting for - 1033 00:56:07,848 --> 00:56:18,288 the first-ever showdown between the- two fastest road cars of all time. 1034 00:56:18,328 --> 00:56:21,152 This car, you're familiar with. 1035 00:56:21,192 --> 00:56:26,464 The Bugatti Veyron, the Concorde of the road. 1036 00:56:26,504 --> 00:56:30,604 The meeting point for the most amazing collection of numbers. 1037 00:56:30,644 --> 00:56:32,416 One million pounds, 1038 00:56:32,456 --> 00:56:34,808 one thousand horsepower 1039 00:56:34,848 --> 00:56:42,464 and a top speed of 252 miles an hour. 1040 00:56:42,504 --> 00:56:45,920 But spin the clock back 15 years and in the 1990s, 1041 00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:49,668 this was the ultimate road car - 1042 00:56:49,708 --> 00:56:54,368 the McLaren F1. 1043 00:56:54,408 --> 00:56:58,648 Like the Bugatti, the McLaren is an orgy of mind-bending numbers. 1044 00:56:58,688 --> 00:57:02,620 It was the fastest with a top speed- of 240 miles an hour. 1045 00:57:02,660 --> 00:57:06,824 It was the most expensive, costing half a million pounds in 1993 1046 00:57:06,864 --> 00:57:09,436 and like the Bugatti, 1047 00:57:09,476 --> 00:57:13,796 the McLaren was built utterly without compromise. 1048 00:57:13,836 --> 00:57:16,340 The engine bay was lined with gold 1049 00:57:16,380 --> 00:57:18,872 because gold is the best heat reflector. 1050 00:57:18,912 --> 00:57:21,684 An entirely new and unique gearbox had to be developed 1051 00:57:21,724 --> 00:57:24,264 because no existing gearbox could survive the torque 1052 00:57:24,304 --> 00:57:27,872 from the 6.1-litre BMW engine. 1053 00:57:27,912 --> 00:57:33,436 It was the first carbon-fibre-bodied car. 1054 00:57:33,476 --> 00:57:36,620 And although these cars have so much in common, 1055 00:57:36,660 --> 00:57:42,340 the McLaren and the Veyron are actually poles apart. 1056 00:57:42,380 --> 00:57:46,200 Whereas the Veyron is loaded with technology, 1057 00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:50,512 the McLaren gets...nothing. 1058 00:57:50,552 --> 00:57:53,652 No traction control, no ABS. 1059 00:57:53,692 --> 00:58:01,056 It's gizmo cupboard is completely bare. 1060 00:58:01,096 --> 00:58:02,652 The F1's creator wanted his machine to be 1061 00:58:02,692 --> 00:58:06,700 just the greatest, the purest driving machine 1062 00:58:06,740 --> 00:58:12,312 in the same way that Bugatti's creator wanted it to be the most amazing technical achievement. 1063 00:58:12,352 --> 00:58:19,528 And that shines through in the way they feel. 1064 00:58:19,568 --> 00:58:22,592 Changing gear, it's like sliding a bolt action forward on a rifle, 1065 00:58:22,632 --> 00:58:26,720 that well-oiled, mechanical, metallic feel. 1066 00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:31,608 And you sit slap-bang in the middle- for that racing-driver sensation. 1067 00:58:31,648 --> 00:58:33,984 Oh, dear lord! 1068 00:58:34,024 --> 00:58:40,560 HE LAUGHS 1069 00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:45,012 OK. What I shall do now is climb out of the McLaren F1 1070 00:58:45,052 --> 00:58:47,640 and get in to the Bugatti Veyron. 1071 00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:51,264 Not a bad day this one so far! 1072 00:58:51,304 --> 00:58:54,576 Right, to business. 1073 00:58:54,616 --> 00:58:57,248 Because for the first time ever, 1074 00:58:57,288 --> 00:59:03,516 these titans will now go head to head in a one-mile drag race. 1075 00:59:03,556 --> 00:59:07,032 I shall be in the Veyron. 1076 00:59:07,072 --> 00:59:10,448 And in the McLaren, a man who has no idea 1077 00:59:10,488 --> 00:59:14,344 that he's about to make history. 1078 00:59:14,384 --> 00:59:21,904 He is quite excited though, he saw his first camel today. 1079 00:59:21,944 --> 00:59:24,216 Actually, I'm quite glad it's him in that car 1080 00:59:24,256 --> 00:59:28,124 because today that McLaren is worth two million quid. 1081 00:59:28,164 --> 00:59:32,704 If we do come together though, he does know the drill - 1082 00:59:32,744 --> 00:59:36,748 run and meet at the border. 1083 00:59:36,788 --> 00:59:41,188 Nearly ready. On paper, the Bugatti's got over a thousand horsepower, 1084 00:59:41,228 --> 00:59:45,560 370 more than the McLaren but the McLaren weighs less. 1085 00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:50,808 So it's got more power to weight. Nought to sixty the Bugatti should... 1086 00:59:50,848 --> 00:59:53,168 I don't know, this is the real world. 1087 00:59:53,208 --> 00:59:58,016 We'll have to see what happens. 1088 00:59:58,056 --> 00:59:59,048 'Three 1089 00:59:59,088 --> 01:00:00,264 'two, 1090 01:00:00,304 --> 01:00:01,768 'one, 1091 01:00:01,808 --> 01:00:03,608 'go!' 1092 01:00:03,648 --> 01:00:05,392 Yes, this it! 1093 01:00:05,432 --> 01:00:07,768 Forward into history. 1094 01:00:07,808 --> 01:00:11,140 What? How is that happening? 1095 01:00:11,180 --> 01:00:14,688 How is that happening? 1096 01:00:14,728 --> 01:00:18,752 The old pretender is still there, it won't give up its crown! 1097 01:00:18,792 --> 01:00:22,828 We're now doing 240 kilometres an hour. 1098 01:00:22,868 --> 01:00:25,704 Come on, Bugatti! 1099 01:00:25,744 --> 01:00:27,656 I'm reeling him in. 1100 01:00:27,696 --> 01:00:31,048 1000 horsepower, there's no way past that. 1101 01:00:31,088 --> 01:00:34,640 I'm gonna take it, yes! 1102 01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:37,392 HE LAUGHS 1103 01:00:37,432 --> 01:00:39,328 300 kilometres an hour. 1104 01:00:39,368 --> 01:00:42,732 320 kilometres an hour! 1105 01:00:42,772 --> 01:00:46,240 Yes! 1106 01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:51,144 320 and I have clearly taken it! 1107 01:00:51,184 --> 01:00:56,360 The Bugatti takes the prize. 1108 01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:59,640 APPLAUSE 1109 01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:02,112 Honestly, what's in that? Hairs. 1110 01:01:02,152 --> 01:01:04,048 Hairs on the back of the neck. 1111 01:01:04,088 --> 01:01:07,316 Straight road. 1112 01:01:07,356 --> 01:01:11,936 And of course what we've proved there is that the Bugatti Veyron, 1113 01:01:11,976 --> 01:01:14,644 which we know to be the fastest car- in the world, 1114 01:01:14,684 --> 01:01:17,860 is faster than another kind of car. 1115 01:01:17,900 --> 01:01:19,608 LAUGHTER Yes! 1116 01:01:19,648 --> 01:01:22,532 Yeah, you don't get that kind of information everywhere! 1117 01:01:22,572 --> 01:01:25,848 And so, on that bombshell, it's time to end.