1 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:15,600 Tonight - James gets lost in a Lamborghini. 2 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,800 Richard drives over a bridge in a Ferrari. 3 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,400 And I wear a small hat in an Aston Martin. 4 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:30,000 APPLAUSE AND CHEERS 5 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,600 Hello! Thank you! 6 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,080 Thank you very much, thank you. 7 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,800 We're back! We're back. 8 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:42,640 And while we were off air, the three of us had a bit of an argument 9 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:47,360 about what would be the best car to take on a Grand Tour of Europe. 10 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:52,000 I reckon, and I'm right, it's the Aston Martin DBS Volante. 11 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:56,600 Richard says, no, it isn't, it's the Ferrari California, 12 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,520 and James - who's a bit weird - 13 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,240 says it's the Lamborghini Gallardo, 14 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,280 the new one with the 560-horsepower engine. 15 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,240 Well, it is. No, it isn't! 16 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:12,040 What that is is a two-seater, mid-engine, 560-horsepower supercar. 17 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,760 What you want for a Grand Tour is engine at the front, nice comfy suspension, 18 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,200 four seats and a boot for all your luggage. Exactly, like the Aston. 19 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,240 Well, yeah, it's the best. 20 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,840 Apart from the fact that the Ferrari costs 140,000, 21 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,760 the Lambo 150,000 and the Aston is the best part of 170,000. 22 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,200 Yes. And it's the slowest to 60mph. 23 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,360 Yes. And it's got the smallest top speed. Yes. But... 24 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:39,600 That's a V8, that's a V10, that's a V12. More is better. 25 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,320 LAUGHTER No! It is. Isn't. It is. It isn't. 26 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,160 I'll hold my breath. 27 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,920 LAUGHTER He is now holding his breath. 28 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,320 Anyway. The producers said that the only real way to sort this out 29 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,320 was to take these cars on an actual Grand Tour. 30 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:58,880 So we thought, "Yes! South of France, or Italy, or the Black Forest." 31 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:02,160 But then they said no. They said that we had to take them... 32 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,160 to Romania. 33 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:11,640 This is what springs to mind when we think about Romania. 34 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,960 Not that we do very often. 35 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:18,280 We imagine it's full of oxes and people throwing stones at gypsies. 36 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:28,280 So you'd imagine that turning up in cars like this 37 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,280 might look like showing off. 38 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,320 We did, too. 39 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:37,000 Coming here in a car that costs 168,000 40 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:42,200 is a bit like turning up in the Sudan in a suit made entirely out of food. 41 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:47,640 'But then we arrived in the Black Sea town of Mamaia. 42 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:51,520 'And it wasn't really what we were expecting.' 43 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,600 My God! 44 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:01,200 Jag. Porsche. Ferrari. Ferrari. 45 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,840 Audi R8 V10. Another Ferrari. 46 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:07,400 If Simon Cowell came here they'd put him on income support. 47 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,600 Look at it! 48 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:12,240 That's a 430. That's a 599. 49 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:17,280 OK. We're not as conspicuous as I first feared. 50 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,040 Have you ever seen the like, Hammond? No, it's staggering! 51 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,720 'And then, just when we thought the car park couldn't get any better...' 52 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,760 Oh my God! That is, isn't it? 53 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,960 It is a Dacia Sandero. 54 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,560 That is it. I think this is the 1.6. I think it is the 1.6. 55 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,360 I forgot that this is where the Sandero is from. 56 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,360 I've been thinking about that car for two years. 57 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,200 'Sadly, before he could think about it any more, 58 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,720 'a challenge arrived.' 59 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,200 You are here to seek out a road 60 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,680 built by a former dictator. 61 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,400 Officially it's called the Transf... Transfi... 62 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,800 That. Trans... Transfgs... 63 00:03:54,800 --> 00:04:00,760 ..Transfagarasan Highway. Unofficially it's known as Ceausescu's Folly. 64 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,880 People speak of it in hushed whispers. 65 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:06,240 They say it's the best road in the world. 66 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,920 So we're here to look for it. We've got to find it. 67 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,880 We decided to look in the mountains, 68 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,480 which were 300 miles away. 69 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,320 And on the journey, each of us 70 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,680 would hope to prove our car was best. 71 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,040 Yes, if you used facts and figures 72 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:30,760 when buying a car, you probably would end up with the Lamborghini or the Ferrari, 73 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,600 in the same way that if you used facts and figures to buy a house, 74 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,200 you'd end up in Dunfermline. 75 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,600 Because you get a lot more for your money. 76 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,120 This is a whole new type of car for Ferrari. 77 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,000 This is the first with the V8 engine in the front. 78 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,680 It's the first direct injection engine they've produced, 79 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,640 it's the first Ferrari with a metal folding roof. 80 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,800 This is the first time Ferrari have produced a car with a DSG gearbox 81 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,920 which means you get absolutely seamless gear changes. 82 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,840 This isn't a Ferrari for the track, 83 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:08,720 it's for long journeys exactly like this one. 84 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,960 'And now James had the chance to explain 85 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:17,720 why he brought a mid-engine two-seater supercar on a Grand Tour.' 86 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,840 By driving around in a Lamborghini, 87 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:23,480 you are actually doing the world a favour. 88 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:28,000 Because it's a thing of beauty, other people can look at it and they can enjoy it. 89 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,200 It's like owning one of Raphael's virgins 90 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,040 and running around the streets holding it above your head 91 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,360 rather than just putting it on the wall. 92 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,920 'So that we could talk to each other on our long journey, 93 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:43,720 'we decided to pull over and connect our phones into the cars' Bluetooth systems. 94 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:48,160 'In the Aston and the Lamborghini, this was very easy.' 95 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,000 Bluetooth, on. Press enter to continue. 96 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,120 Bluetooth on the phone. 97 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,800 'However, in the Ferrari...' 98 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,480 ELECTRONIC VOICE: 'Every new phone must be prepared before it is used.' 99 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:02,240 Yes, preparing my phone. 'You may have...' Yes, yes, yes. 100 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:07,480 '..so that you can press the phone's button and say "Call Mary" to place a call to Mary. 101 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,640 'Pressing the VR button while the system is speaking...' 102 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,520 Please stop! 103 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,360 Synchronising...yes! 104 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,240 I'm there! I'm connected! I'm Bluetoothed! 105 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,560 Bluetooth switched on. Oh, joy. 106 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,440 '..Home, work, mobile or pager.' BEEP 107 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,800 Work! I'm at work! 108 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,120 'Name, please.' Richard! 109 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,920 How does that help?! 110 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,960 'Please repeat the name after the beep.' BEEP 111 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:38,120 'With our phones connected - eventually - we put our roofs up, 112 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:42,080 'which, without wishing to boast, you can do on the move in the Aston, 113 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,440 'and then we were ready for a motorway blast to Bucharest.' 114 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,000 Oh! There's the V12! 115 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,440 '1, 2, 5, 0, 8...' 116 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,720 What?! '..0, 2, 0, 0, 0, 117 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:05,560 '0, 0, 0, 1, 1, 1...' CLEAR! 118 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,080 'Then we did what we weren't supposed to do.' 119 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:18,960 In 3, 2, 1, go! 120 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,440 Oh, yeah, this is what we mustn't do. 121 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,720 Ahahaha! 122 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,000 It just has the legs, that Ferrari. 123 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,320 Just, just, just. 124 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:40,360 Yeah, this might be a GT car, but it's... 125 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,120 It's not a slouch. 126 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:46,360 Aston Martin has gone to simply enormous lengths 127 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,000 to make the DVS convertible as light as possible. 128 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,120 It has a carbon-fibre bonnet, 129 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,120 carbon-fibre wings, carbon-fibre boot, 130 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,040 carbon-fibre door-pulls, even. 131 00:07:56,040 --> 00:08:00,640 They've even made the carpet out of a specially lightweight weave. 132 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,200 And the results speak for themselves. 133 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:07,080 This is by far and away the heaviest car of the three. 134 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,200 Have you noticed something, Hammond? 135 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:17,080 What? I don't see a black Lamborghini anywhere near us. 136 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,440 What, you mean the one that is on paper the fastest here? 137 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,360 'James was merrily tootling along, 138 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:28,320 'apparently under the illusion he was presenting his wine programme.' 139 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,440 Good place to stop for a bag of grapes. 140 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,920 There's three more people holding up grapes, there's a fourth... 141 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:38,280 a fifth, a sixth. I think we're well covered for grapes, there. 142 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:42,240 'Meanwhile, Hammond's Ferrari had decided all on its own 143 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,320 'to make a telephone call.' 144 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,360 'Selected. Calling...Vernon Kay.' What?! Vernon...? 145 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,400 'Is this correct?' Why are you calling Vernon Kay? 146 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,960 PHONE RINGS Why are you doing that? 147 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,800 'Hello?' Vernon? 148 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,840 'Hi?' Hello, mate, it's Richard Hammond. 149 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:03,480 'For miles, our convoy ruled the road. But then...' 150 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,240 Oh, my God! Look here! 151 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,960 What's that?! Wha..? 152 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,800 That's the Dacia Sandero. 153 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,640 I'm going to see if I can hold on to the back of it. 154 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:18,040 The 1.2 16-valve - that thing can shift! 155 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:21,840 Come on! Keep up with the Sandero! 156 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,280 'Hammond's Ferrari might have got it, but unfortunately...' 157 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,680 PHONE RINGS Why are you doing that now? 158 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:31,040 Why are you calling Vernon Kay again? 159 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,240 'Hi, Richard!' Vernon! 160 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,920 Er, it's Richard Hammond. Again. 161 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,560 Er...I'm really sorry. 162 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:41,440 'No, it's fine. I'm just in the studio, everyone's stopped work...' 163 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,440 Good. Good. 164 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,880 Um... 165 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,600 'While refuelling on the outskirts of Bucharest, 166 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,760 'James and Richard bought me a present.' 167 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,640 Great(!) What now? 168 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,600 My life is complete, that's what. 169 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,760 Very big round here, apparently. 170 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,240 'And then James thought of a new game.' 171 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,880 Why don't we have a sat-nav challenge? 172 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:08,560 Because mine is a German one and will be superior. 173 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,400 It's Audi, isn't it? It is. 174 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,880 Good idea. We can start here. 175 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,040 Ready steady go, set your sat-nav for the People's Palace. 176 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,480 I know it exists. First to get to the People's Palace is the winner. 177 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,480 Are you ready? Yes. 178 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,560 Steady? Yes. Go! 179 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:28,320 Now, I should explain before we start, I have a Volvo system. 180 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:33,480 Unanimously, everybody agrees it's the worst sat-nav in the world. 181 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,200 Rise! Rise! 182 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:43,120 'Mercifully, in the California, the sat-nav system was much better than the Bluetooth.' 183 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,840 Nearby point of interest, that's the first order of business. 184 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:50,960 'Whereas in the Lambo, James was regretting his new game.' 185 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,640 Country. I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q... 186 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:58,400 It goes from Portugal to Sam... How can it not have...? 187 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:04,360 The Italians don't acknowledge the existence of Romania. 188 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,000 1-1-7. 1-1... 189 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,880 No, no, no. 1 to 42, that is all. 190 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,000 Right, I've got it. 191 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,200 HE CACKLES 192 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,040 No! No, no! 193 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,080 Er, People's Palace? 194 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,800 People? 195 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,480 Not the best present I've ever had, if I'm honest, 196 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,600 but it's tactless to just ignore them. 197 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,000 'Please follow the road.' Yes. 198 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:34,320 I will gladly follow the road, for...7.3kms. 199 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,840 Technology and I are now getting on absolutely fine. 200 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,640 'Calling Stephen Accountant.' 201 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,600 No, no, no, don't do that. 202 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:45,960 Go to the roundabout here. Yep. 203 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,120 And here... Here in sub... No. 204 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,800 One of the most irritating things about the Volvo system 205 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,640 that Aston use, is that it tells you where you've been. 206 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:00,640 Which is only of any use if you think your wife's having an affair. 207 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,320 James was now on the move, 208 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:06,120 but obviously his map had been drawn by a distant relative. 209 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,520 When he said roundabout, did he mean roundabout? 210 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,960 Or did he mean crossroads? 211 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:15,800 Fortunately, the producers had given me a Romanian phrasebook. 212 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,560 Unfortunately, it was a bit confusing. 213 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,160 TALKS IN ROMANIAN 214 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,040 Meanwhile, less than a mile from the People's Palace 215 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,760 the sat-nav race was hotting up. 216 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,920 Hammond! Get him! 217 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:39,760 What's he doing here? 218 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,000 Come on! 219 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,320 I'm winning by 1.5 metres. 220 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,120 I found it first. 221 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:50,440 No, I found it with my eyes. No, you didn't. I found it first. 222 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,080 SPEAKS IN ROMANIAN 223 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,640 Hammond and I, meanwhile, were still racing. 224 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,120 This... 225 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,000 Ha-ha-ha! 226 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,640 But when we saw the People's Palace, we sort of stopped. 227 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,520 Today it's the Romanian Parliament building. 228 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:21,440 But it was once the private house of notorious dictator Nicolae Ceausescu. 229 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,880 If that's his idea of a house, 230 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,000 what's his idea of a road gonna be like? 231 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,800 You know that is the heaviest building in the world? 232 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,840 That's what you'd build, isn't it? 233 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,640 It is. A million cubic metres of marble in there. 234 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,800 Ceausescu was a mental, wasn't he? Complete mental. 235 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,560 And an unpleasant mental. 236 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:44,440 He had people go ahead of him and paint the leaves green, wherever he went. 237 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:49,280 As we waited, James had become really lost. 238 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,960 MUSIC: "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien" by Edith Piaf 239 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,440 It is the Arc de Triomphe. It's... 240 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,960 Priorite a droite. 241 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,480 That's it. 242 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,800 While we waited we were informed 243 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,280 we might get a visit from a local dignitary. 244 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:15,120 The Secretary General of the Chamber of Deputies. 245 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:19,000 Jeremy, you are familiar with the local customs, aren't you? What? 246 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,760 Penis out. When she stands to shake hands, you just plop it in. 247 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,960 And that's what you do. That's how it works. 248 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,080 Hello, sir. Hello. 249 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:41,600 Do you remember in 2009 they used to make that? What was it called? 250 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,040 It was a Lam...Lam... Lamborghini. 251 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,480 Behold the People's Palace. 252 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,880 James, you lost that one. Quite badly. 253 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,960 While waiting for James the local dignitary had given us permission 254 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:59,520 to drive in the network of tunnels underneath the government building. 255 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:04,760 This, we feel, is not something that would be allowed in Britain. 256 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,920 Start the music! 257 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,200 Wa-ha! 258 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,160 Oh, yeah! 259 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,040 Jeez, there's a corner there! 260 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,080 ENGINES ROAR 261 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,680 Dust. Dust! 262 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,360 Can't see a thing! 263 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:44,400 We then decided to bring a bit of science to the party. 264 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,640 ENGINE REVS 265 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,640 That is a decibel-o-meter 266 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:54,400 and I'm going to see how loud the Ferrari is. Ready? Mm-hm. 267 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,320 Not too bad, 70...82. 268 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,440 Yeow. 269 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:13,240 89? 89. I saw an 89 average. I saw 89. 89, yeah. 270 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,640 What a lot of dust, jeez. It's quite dusty down there. 271 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,960 This is our best game yet. 272 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,360 All you need to play this game, in case you're interested at home, 273 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,640 is a People's Palace, with a tunnel underneath it. Yeah. 274 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,680 Three supercars and a cheap app and you're there! You're there! 275 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:33,080 It turned out that all three cars were equally loud. 276 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:39,800 So, we abandoned the science and went to the pub. 277 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:45,080 Where we were just in time to catch the local version of Top Gear. 278 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,200 SPEAKS IN ROMANIAN 279 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,880 I just wish that girl would get out the way, 280 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,600 so we could see the car more! 281 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,240 I bet that would sound good in the tunnels. 282 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,320 What a magnificent thing. 283 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,360 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 284 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,680 We'll pick that, er, we'll pick that up later on. 285 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,080 But now it is time to do the news. 286 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,720 And we begin with a story from Australia, in fact. 287 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:22,320 Er, Australian authorities are really going to get tough on 288 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,600 boozed up fans at the Bathurst Motor Race. 289 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,960 Well, I say motor race, it's actually a fight 290 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:32,000 between rival gangs of Ford supporters and GM supporters. 291 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,600 OK, now the way they've cracked this, is they say 292 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:40,920 each fan is going to be limited to just 24 cans of lager each per day. 293 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:44,280 Just 24? 24 a day, no more than that. 294 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,640 And Australians, don't think you can get round this by switching to wine, 295 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,360 because that's limited as well, to four litres a day. 296 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,280 Do you know what they're doing, to get round it? 297 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:56,640 What, Australians? Yeah. 298 00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:01,640 Australians are going there two weeks before the race and burying beer. 299 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:06,120 We have an Australian guest on later, I'm going to talk to him about this. I'm fascinated. Yes. 300 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:08,160 Now. We must move on. We must. 301 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:13,680 McLaren have a announced a new supercar, here it is. It's called the MP4-12C. 302 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,000 Mmmm. That'll sound good with adenoids. 303 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,200 WITH ACCENT: "Wanna come for a ride in my MP4 dash 12C?" 304 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,520 No, I don't, it sounds like a telephone. 305 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,640 However, um, interesting thing about this car particularly 306 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,720 is the previous McLaren supercars, the F1 and the Merc SLR, 307 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,080 were very, very expensive. Mmm. 308 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,240 This - 170,000. 309 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,240 Oh, cheap. Oh, that's all right then. 310 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,520 As I said that I realised... I know what you mean it's cheap-er. 311 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,040 Absolutely. It's same... Half the price of the SLR. 312 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,920 This is the first time they've put their own engine into it, 313 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,120 3.8 litre 2 turbo V8, so there's a lot of exciting things about it. 314 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,760 I hope that works, McLaren have had a rotten week. 315 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,960 All their vehicles have been recalled, cos they've been amputating limbs. 316 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,560 No that's not... no, yeah. What? 317 00:18:55,560 --> 00:19:00,640 It's not the vehicles, mate, it's the prams, the pushchairs, Maclaren buggies. 318 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,280 Oh! I thought Rowan Atkinson had had his arm cut off by his car. 319 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,000 No. It's Maclaren prams? 320 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,720 Yes, the buggies, the pushchairs. Oh, God! 321 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:13,840 Interesting thing about this story is it's come about because of 12 cases in the States 322 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,680 of children having their fingers amputated. 323 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:19,000 Mm. So, as a result they've recalled all the pushchairs. 324 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,520 But the pushchairs are the same all over the world 325 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,600 and it's only in the States they're recalling them. Not here. 326 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,320 No, there's a very good reason for that though. 327 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:31,480 British parents are more... What's the word I'm looking for? 328 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,000 Intelligent. Yes! 329 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,160 Cos how could you? Hey! 330 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,960 US ACCENT: I can't shut this buggy down, there's these pink things in the way. 331 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:45,760 US ACCENT: I've got the kid screaming his head off! Shut-up, Junior. 332 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,320 That's got it! Stop yelling. 333 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,600 It's...there you go. 334 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:55,800 Now, do you want to combine your love of camping, with your love of buying the wrong Porsche? 335 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,840 No, because I have good news, OK? 336 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:03,720 Because you can now buy, um, well, it's a new type of Boxster, OK? 337 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,720 With a tent on the top of it. Here it is. 338 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,760 Look at that roof! 339 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,280 It looks like a tramp's hat. 340 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:15,920 It's called the Boxster Spyder and it's a super lightweight version. 341 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:20,800 It only weighs 1,250 kilos, top speed 166mph, 0-60 in 4.8 seconds. 342 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,880 And it's that fast because it's got a very clever gearbox. 343 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,280 It's called a... it's... Well, it's... 344 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,840 Is it German? It's a German name. 345 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,120 Oh! And it's complicated. 346 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:33,680 Let me just spell this out - it's a D-O-P-P-E-L 347 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:37,360 K-U-P-P-L 348 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,520 U-N-G 349 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:44,280 S-G-E-T... 350 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,280 R... 351 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,400 I-E... 352 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,560 B... 353 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:52,760 E. 354 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,560 That's what it is...I... 355 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,680 Can we? Get it on the screen. 356 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,960 Are there any Germans here? 357 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,600 That's a long word! That is a... 358 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,400 Do you know what that means? You speak German. I do. 359 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,960 What's the only German you can say? 360 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,200 SPEAKS IN GERMAN What's that mean? 361 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,040 Naturally Hans is wet he's standing under a waterfall. 362 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,600 OK. I use it all the time. 363 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,040 That's kind of a one shot deal, isn't it? 364 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:23,560 Er, anyway, if you want the wrong car, which has no door handles, 365 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:27,920 and no air conditioning and no radio and has a tent on the top of it, 366 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,600 then there you are, the Boxster double line. Spyder. 367 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,760 It's not got all those things to keep it light cos it's still 44,000. 368 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,760 44,000, you don't even get door handles. 369 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:38,760 We've been sent this. 370 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:44,320 It's an eco-friendly, portable, disposable, cardboard lavatory, 371 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,240 for use by the side of the road. 372 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,320 The idea is you're driving along, you get caught a bit short, 373 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,400 can't find the nearest karzy, you pop this out, erect it 374 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:53,800 and do what you have to do. 375 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,720 Are you about to tell us you have been caught short? No. 376 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,360 Cos I don't think you should. No, I was going to say, 377 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:01,360 we shall give this a fair test on Top Gear 378 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:05,640 by giving it to the world's most practical man, Clarkson. 379 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,040 What you want me to build it? I do. 380 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,120 Oh, God, I hate this sort of thing. 381 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:12,720 Where's the instructions? 382 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:13,800 Have you ever noticed, 383 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,800 watching him do anything practical, it's like watching an orangutan? 384 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,920 It is! Look at his face. 385 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,920 Honestly, look at his face, it goes all... It's very long. He's happy, but confused. 386 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:28,000 They actually put a picture of Jeremy on the bag, look, 387 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,840 showing you how to assemble it. 388 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,360 These instructions, look! 389 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:36,840 They bear no relation, as always, to the thing they're supplied with. 390 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,320 See, he's doing the ape thing. 391 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,400 And bear in mind, you have to erect this... 392 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,000 while basically desperate for a number two, with... 393 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,360 I was going to say... With lorries going by. 394 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:48,480 Could you erect this while you were touching cloth? You can? 395 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,760 See if you can get that erected. 396 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,480 I'm prepared to bet that question has never been asked on any other car show. 397 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,040 She's good. How've you done that? 398 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,680 She's bloody done it, look. 399 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,040 That was it. 400 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,080 How did you do that? 401 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,840 Look she's made a lavatory. 402 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,040 CHEERING 403 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:11,760 You did what? 404 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,000 I'm female. 405 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,200 You're a...she's a female. 406 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,480 So, you just put that up at the side of the road and then... 407 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,200 There's no need to demonstrate! 408 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,200 How did you think that was going to go? 409 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,600 How did you think that was going to work? 410 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,880 You great dumb ape. 411 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,960 Do you know what, honestly? I'd rather just crap myself. 412 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,640 I think I just did! 413 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:46,840 Can we move on? 414 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,160 I'm not the world's most unpractical man. You are. 415 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,600 I am, actually. You're right. 416 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:55,080 Anyway, we've got to get on. Yes, anyway, we've had a letter. 417 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,960 It's literally from some bankers and it says, 418 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:02,160 Dear Top Gear, this time last year we didn't have any money, 419 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,400 but the Government has given us some now. 420 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,720 However, we don't want the public to know that we're loaded again, 421 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,320 so we need really fast, expensive cars that are quite discreet. 422 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,320 Can you help? Yours sincerely, some bankers. 423 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:18,200 Well, as it happens, yes, we can help. 424 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,960 And we begin with something from BMW. 425 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,720 This here is the BMW 760Li. 426 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,840 Or to give it it's other name - the BMW Move Over Poor Person. 427 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,720 Because this is the biggest, most expensive 428 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,880 and most powerful car BMW makes. 429 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,720 It has a six litre V12, 430 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,960 which sounds like plenty. 431 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,480 But, obviously, someone at BMW thought, "No". 432 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:59,840 So, for a bit of extra "schnell," this car has got two turbo chargers. 433 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,360 The result is 544 BHP. 434 00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:11,080 And the power station under the bonnet is connected to a brand new eight speed gearbox. 435 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,480 Put all that together and even someone as laid back as me can quite easily, 436 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,560 look, get a bit of a lick on. 437 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:26,200 It'll batter most 911's in a sprint to 60, 438 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:30,520 and de-limited, it would hit 188 miles per hour. 439 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,560 But those numbers only tell half the story. 440 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,840 This is a bizarre kind of fast. 441 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,280 It's quiet and relaxed and smooth. 442 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,440 It's like swimming over a waterfall of double cream. 443 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,840 A luxurious waterfall, too. 444 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:59,400 The 760 has seats that massage you, and an SAS spec night vision system. 445 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,640 And here's a clever thing. 446 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,040 Pulling up to this junction, the view is quite obstructed, 447 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,000 I can't really see what's coming. 448 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,480 But if I press this button, there are little cameras mounted on the wings 449 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,680 that give you eyes on the side of your head. It's like being a rabbit. 450 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:21,600 And the price? A smudge under 100,000. 451 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,000 If you have that sort of money to spend on a car, 452 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,440 there's a good chance you'll want to pay someone to drive it for you. 453 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,880 So that's exactly what I've done, I've got myself a chauffeur. 454 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:35,760 He's in a bit of a bad mood to be honest, because I've told him this is my test. 455 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,880 It's not about tyre smoke and going sideways. 456 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,240 Dignified driving is what I want. 457 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:46,000 This version of the seven series is only available as a long wheel base model, 458 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,120 which means you get an extra five inches of leg room in the back. 459 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:52,200 Doesn't sound like much, but it makes a world of difference. 460 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,160 And I can watch the TV. 461 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,240 I've got something on here, it's interesting, it's about antiques... 462 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,280 LOUD BANG 463 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,440 What are you doing, man? 464 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,160 Bloody hell! 465 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,720 Oh, God, I see the problem. The Mercedes S63 has turned up, 466 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,520 that's the other car I was going to test, 467 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,000 and that sort of puts Stigs on heat. 468 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,440 That S-class is actually the AMG tuned version. 469 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:28,000 Apparently it's a bit of a rocket ship, I can see why Stig's got the red mist. 470 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:33,680 Luckily, Stig's a bit too stupid to work out where all the driver aids are on this. 471 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:37,360 Oh no, he's found it. 472 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:41,600 Stig has put the dynamic driving control into sport plus, 473 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,520 that sharpens up throttle response and gear changes! 474 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,040 Bloody Nora. 475 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,200 God, he's switched the stability control off altogether... 476 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:03,440 That locks up the rear differential for extra....ow! Hooligan! 477 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:18,560 So, the Mercedes. The most powerful non-turbo V8 car in the world. 478 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:22,440 It costs the same as the BMW, it comes only in business class, 479 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,880 long wheel base form, like the BMW, 480 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:29,200 and like the BMW, it's dripping with technology. 481 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:34,960 Even the interior lighting has three different colour settings. 482 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:39,480 In fact, there's such a bewildering array of gizmos on both cars, 483 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,080 that it's almost impossible to choose between them. 484 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,400 We're going to make it easier with a game of Top Trumps. 485 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,840 Here's my opponent, the Stig. 486 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,640 It's like normal Top Trumps, except all of Stiggy's cards are the BMW, 487 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,440 and all of mine are the Mercedes. Ready? 488 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:06,360 OK, TV screens. Mercedes has TV in the front. 489 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,600 BMW...I know the answer to this, it's got two, isn't it? 490 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:15,720 Front and rear, so you win that pair. 491 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,960 Climate control. Mercedes - two zone. 492 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:24,440 And the BMW, we know, has four zone climate control, 493 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,320 so you win that pair. 494 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,160 It's not difficult. 495 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:33,000 Seat massage system. Mercedes - front and rear seat massage. 496 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:41,280 And the BMW, massage seat only in the front, so I win that pair. 497 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,760 Right, BHP... 498 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,120 OK, that's not working, 499 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:54,040 so let's go back to the traditional, philistine Top Gear method. 500 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,040 A drag race. 501 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:59,840 I went in the Mercedes with Stig at the wheel. 502 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,920 I think I'll have "Firm massage" for this. 503 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,200 The BMW quickly took the lead. 504 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,480 And stayed there till the end. 505 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,800 That made Stig so angry he went home. 506 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:26,720 So, the S-class. When you drive it, you realise it's got much more of a split personality than the BMW. 507 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,640 On the one hand, it has lots of very civilising features, 508 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,680 it has active body control, 509 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:38,240 and it's so clever it can detect a cross-wind and compensate for it. 510 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:42,200 It even has a drowsiness sensor to prevent you from nodding off. 511 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:50,680 But put your foot down and suddenly it erupts with typical AMG volcanic storm and fury. 512 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,440 And here's something that really baffles me. 513 00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,520 On the dashboard I have a race timer 514 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,480 that allows you to record your lap times. But why? 515 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:08,480 I mean, in a 911 GT3, yes. But who's that for? 516 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,920 Sir Alan Sugar on a track day? 517 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:14,120 And that's the problem with the Mercedes, 518 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,280 it has a strangely confused personality. 519 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:20,920 And for that reason, Mercedes S63 AMG... 520 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:23,840 ..you're fired. 521 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:29,120 APPLAUSE 522 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,280 So, let's just get this straight. 523 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,480 Quite wrongly, you prefer the BMW. 524 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,840 No, I think they're both completely pointless. 525 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,840 Couldn't agree with you more. They are absolutely pointless. 526 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:47,680 And now, I'm afraid, we must dive even more deeply into the murky waters of their irrelevance 527 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:51,040 by handing them over to our tame racing driver. 528 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:56,600 Some say, that in the autumn, all his arms go brown and fall off. 529 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,280 LAUGHTER 530 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,760 And that if he wrote you a letter of condolence, 531 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,760 he would at least get your name right. 532 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,880 LAUGHTER 533 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:08,000 All we know is, he's called the Stog. You mean the Stig. 534 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,040 That's what I said. I said it! 535 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:15,200 And they're off! It is very wet out there, 536 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:19,600 tiny wiggle of the hips from the BMW as the turbos spool up. 537 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,760 Here's something not very interesting, 538 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,520 that 760 has BMW's first petrol V12 with two turbos. 539 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:29,040 That is much more interesting there, he's going very sideways! 540 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,080 MUSIC: "Rabbit" By Chas and Dave 541 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,440 I should say the Stig is deeply saddened 542 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,360 that Chas and Dave have split up. 543 00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:40,640 This is his way of getting through the pain. 544 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,840 That BMW is very sideways there, 545 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:44,640 coming up to the hammerhead 546 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:48,800 we're expecting understeer here from these two-tonne barges. 547 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:53,520 And, yep, the seven series is ploughing wide, but more composed. 548 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:57,600 I suspect because the traction control can't be fully switched off. 549 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,440 Here we are, follow-through. It really is wet out there. 550 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,760 Stig would be better off in an actual barge, I think. 551 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,200 Quick through the tyres, 552 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,360 look up "brave" in the dictionary it says "See The Stig". 553 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:11,400 Two corners left. 554 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:12,760 BMW's all over the shop. 555 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,280 That let the S-class ahead, 556 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,040 but they're evenly matched coming through Gambon! 557 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,200 Across the line! 558 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,680 APPLAUSE 559 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,800 Does it go here? No, it doesn't. 560 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:25,760 Does it go here? No, it doesn't. 561 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:31,560 Go on then. Right, the Mercedes S63 did it there in 1.32.1. 562 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,200 The BMW did it in... 563 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,440 1.31.2 564 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:39,480 There we are. If you are a banker 565 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,920 and you like to get anywhere in a big hurry, go for the BMW. 566 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,520 Consumer advice for you there. 567 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:48,800 Now, it is time to put a star in our reasonably priced car. 568 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:53,280 My guest tonight, it seems, always wanted to be a racing driver, 569 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,520 but then he accidentally ended up being in films like 570 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,880 Star Trek, Finding Nemo, 571 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:03,640 Blackhawk Down, Troy, and so on and so forth. 572 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,600 So, here to find out what on earth went wrong, 573 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:10,240 from somewhere called Australia, ladies and gentlemen, Eric Bana! 574 00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:13,560 APPLAUSE 575 00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:15,960 Good to see you, how are you? 576 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,640 Very well, very well. Have a seat. 577 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,480 A proper superstar is here! 578 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,360 What's in there? 579 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,120 There? 580 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:30,360 It's water, it's OK, it won't have anything dangerous in it. Yeah. 581 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,320 This Bathurst Motor Race we were talking about, 582 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,040 have you heard about the beer thing? 583 00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:39,640 They're limiting the amount of beer each fan can take to 24 cans a day. 584 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:41,000 That's a serious restriction. 585 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,240 LAUGHTER 586 00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:46,160 That's practically tee-totalling, isn't it? 587 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,160 This rivalry between Ford and GM, 588 00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,640 it's ingrained from birth, isn't it, in all Australians? 589 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,000 It's pretty deep seated. 590 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,960 They were the two main manufacturers, if you're my age, when you were growing up. 591 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,560 It was, you know, the General Motors product 592 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:04,120 which was Holden, Commodores and Toranas 593 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,640 and for me it was Falcons. 594 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:09,760 I said to the two guys, the two Aussies who are here in the audience somewhere, 595 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:13,080 I said "Eric Bana's coming on," they went "Ah, Ford bloke." 596 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,560 That was it. You're a Ford bloke so you're no good. 597 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,280 You're a Ford bloke, they're Holden blokes. 598 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,720 Completely discounted me, huh? Yeah, exactly. 599 00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:25,000 It seems to me that Bathurst combines everything, really, that you need in Australia. 600 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,520 Outside cooking, obviously. Drinking and sport. 601 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,880 This sport thing, it's weird, cos you're no good at it. 602 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,040 Oh, really? 603 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:37,120 Really? Cite a couple of examples. 604 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:38,400 The Ashes. 605 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,840 The most recent one, the most recent one. 606 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,240 Rugby, the other day? Didn't we beat you last week? 607 00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:47,600 We weren't playing! It was Jonny Wilkinson and some lawyers. Mm. 608 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,160 LAUGHTER 609 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:53,880 Do you know the best thing about having an Aussie here, and I don't know if it's the same in Australia, 610 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:57,440 there are very few countrymen or countrywomen that we can tease. 611 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:02,240 Australia and England, it seems to me, are the last two countries where if you can go there and go, 612 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:06,160 AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: "Hide your wallet under the soap, he won't find it there." 613 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,840 If you said to the Americans you lost in Vietnam! 614 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,720 They just don't find that funny. 615 00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:16,920 I mean, to be honest, we're happy, we ended up in the best country. 616 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,840 It's not a bad second prize as far as you're concerned. It's dangerous. 617 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,600 It's quite dangerous, Australia. Why? How old are you? 618 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,680 41. You must be the oldest Australian 619 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,520 that hasn't been eaten by a shark 620 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,640 or bitten by a spider that killed him. 621 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:33,000 That's what happens when you have great beaches. Ha ha! 622 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,000 LAUGHTER 623 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:39,120 We've got great beaches. Oh, you do! I know. Awesome surf, too. 624 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:42,960 At least we have nice names. Give me an example. 625 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,360 The thing I love about Australia is the literal names. 626 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,320 We've got this big, sandy desert in the middle, what shall we call it? 627 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:49,440 The Great Sandy Desert. 628 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,800 We've got this reef off the coast, it's like a barrier. 629 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,520 The Great Barrier Reef. 630 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,960 This is, of course, as opposed to... 631 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,960 The White Cliffs of Dover, 632 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,360 LAUGHTER Yeah. 633 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,880 Green Park. That's true, Green Park isn't very good. 634 00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:04,680 Four Weddings And A Funeral. 635 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,000 That wasn't a very good... What about Mad Max? 636 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:11,400 It's about a bloke who's mad and he's called Max. Perfect title. 637 00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,360 I want to get on to the car thing, 638 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,600 cos let's be honest, this proper love that you have, 639 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,680 you are now a bona fide Australian racing driver. 640 00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:24,240 I just have a bit of fun in the Australian GT series, 641 00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:29,080 which is like your version of, it'd be FAA, GT3 racing, 642 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,840 so I'm in a Porsche cup car, 911. 643 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:35,080 But you're pretty good, it's not like you're some actor who's... 644 00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,360 I don't know. I enjoy it and I'd never stop doing it, 645 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,200 I'm just, you know, I'm obsessed. 646 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:44,240 Do you say "I'm not gonna do that film because I wanna do that race?" 647 00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:46,120 Is this on in America? 648 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,760 America is the only country in the world this isn't shown. 649 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,520 Of course I've done that! Are you kidding me! 650 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,480 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 651 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,040 Good man! 652 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:59,400 Everywhere else in the world will hear that, but not America. They'll never find out. 653 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,840 If I could just say, you've been in some massive films, 654 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:08,000 but the one that seems to me to be closest to your heart is the one you've just brought out now, 655 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,800 which is Love The Beast. 656 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,280 Love The Beast. Tell me about that, 657 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:15,360 because it's a very small film compared to, let's say, Troy. 658 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,600 It's a documentary I directed. 659 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:22,600 I, one day, was looking at my beast, which is my Ford Falcon coupe. 660 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,560 I've had this car since I was 15. 661 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:31,760 And I thought this actually isn't a car, it's some kind of a personal possession 662 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,720 that gets carted around through all kinds of different circumstances. 663 00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:41,000 I started thinking more and more about that, and how cars, objects in particular, cars, 664 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:44,120 I feel can transcend themselves to become something else. 665 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:45,640 I feel very deeply about it. 666 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,800 I couldn't agree more. 667 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,480 Right. I really do believe that cars take on a personality. 668 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:52,920 Not all cars, but some do. 669 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:56,640 So this film is about your relationship with this car? 670 00:38:56,640 --> 00:39:01,760 Yeah, and then I was competing in Targa Tasmania that year, 671 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:06,440 so I thought well, we'll just make the rally a bit of an action backdrop to this story 672 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:10,760 about a guy having a car for his whole life. Having a relationship with a car. 673 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:14,440 Yeah. OK, we have a clip here which I'd like to show everyone. 674 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,640 3..2..1..go! 675 00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:22,960 Then a five left. 676 00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:26,920 It's slippery apparently. 677 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:31,280 I feel like I'm breaking in a horse. I feel like both horses are learning, me and the car. 678 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:33,240 Take the left, we need to stay on. 679 00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:37,400 Six left, one-two right, 100. 680 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,480 Car up here. 681 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:43,960 Jeez! 682 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,520 APPLAUSE That hurt? 683 00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,000 Um... 684 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:54,880 I think what hurt the most was just knowing it was gonna happen, you know, before it happened. 685 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,640 I could have told you that, if you've got a muscle car, 686 00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:01,160 you go round a corner, you're gonna hit a tree. 687 00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:06,520 Now you end wondering whether to rebuild that car again. True. 688 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,160 One of the things I was facing... 689 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,240 Whilst I was shooting the documentary, 690 00:40:10,240 --> 00:40:12,440 I never planned on crashing the bloody car. 691 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,880 You know, I'd killed it basically, 692 00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,640 and then for a couple of months we thought it was... 693 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,360 It was dead and that we couldn't in fact repair it. 694 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,960 And I decided that if it required a reshell, 695 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,760 that I would not rebuild the car. 696 00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:27,800 But does it? It doesn't. 697 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,920 So you're gonna rebuild it again? We're gonna rebuild it again. 698 00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:34,480 You realise everything you earned from Star Trek is going to be lost 699 00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:39,000 the next time you try to go round a corner when you've rebuilt it. Yeah. 700 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,840 Now, obviously, you didn't come thousands of miles 701 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:43,600 to just sit and talk about this. 702 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:47,880 You came to have a go out there in the reasonably priced car. 703 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,680 So, how was it? 704 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:52,440 It was slippery, but it was a lot of fun. 705 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:56,360 It's been a while since I've driven such a reasonably priced car. 706 00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:57,800 LAUGHTER 707 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,640 Who would like to see Eric's lap? 708 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:02,120 ALL: Yes! 709 00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:03,320 Let's have a look! 710 00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,440 TYRES SKID 711 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:06,520 That is slippery. 712 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:11,400 I'll never play Test cricket, but I'll drive the Top Gear track! 713 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:12,800 LAUGHTER 714 00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,680 First corner, now... 715 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:19,440 Oooh, you see, there's somebody who knows how to drive, look at that! 716 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:23,360 Feel the grip from the reasonably priced Lacetti now. 717 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,560 Get over! 718 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:30,040 Were you really putting your heart and soul into this? 719 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:34,000 Yes, you were! I'm not even going to pretend I don't care what my lap time is. 720 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,240 Get out of the way, birds! 721 00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:38,360 Look, non-dangerous birds. 722 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,000 Not like those ones that burst on your windscreen, 723 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,080 showering you in worms which is what happens in Australia. 724 00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:47,880 Ooh, bit of understeer there. Lots of understeer there. 725 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,960 Time to put it away. Ah, these slots! Gearbox, sorry about that. 726 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:54,160 Hasn't mended. 727 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:57,480 I may need to ask you, flat through there? Flat. 728 00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,880 And flat through the tyres, I'm guessing. 729 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:02,960 Yep, that looks pretty flat to me. 730 00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,080 Second to last corner, this is the tricky one. 731 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,280 I don't think I ever got this one right. 732 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,840 Let's have a look. You've got to cut it a bit, yes. Perfect. 733 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,080 Now, just Gambon. 734 00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,720 Ooh, that's quite legal, most people cheat. 735 00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:16,680 There we are, across the line! 736 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,120 APPLAUSE 737 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,840 Aha! 738 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:27,680 Now, bearing in mind that that was a wet lap... 739 00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:32,400 It was very slippery. I was waiting for it to dry out, but... 740 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:33,720 All right! Enough excuses! 741 00:42:33,720 --> 00:42:37,080 It's a wet lap. You were being a racing driver there. 742 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,640 I was looking for the fastest ever wet lap, 743 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:43,440 which I think was Jamie Oliver on 147.7. 744 00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,720 I'm in two minds, I'd like to beat him. 745 00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:47,720 But my wife loves him. 746 00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:49,000 LAUGHTER 747 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:53,400 Eric Bana, you did it in 1... 748 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:55,960 40... 749 00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:59,720 7... GASPING 750 00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:01,360 Five. 751 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:03,760 There you go, mate! You did it! 752 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:12,840 That is the fastest wet lap... Whooo! ..We've ever had. 753 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,600 The fastest. 754 00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:21,080 You are 0.2 of a second faster than a chef. 755 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:22,600 LAUGHTER 756 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:28,160 But you are the fastest Australian. Is there a wet track Ashes I can take back to Australia? 757 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:32,640 Tell you what, we'll burn the car and put it in a little thing, 758 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:36,760 you can take it back and Australia can have some ashes. All right. 759 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:40,120 Ladies and gentlemen, Eric Bana! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 760 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:50,000 Now, tonight we're in Romania, 761 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,280 looking for the best road in the world. 762 00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:55,360 We're driving an Aston Martin, a Ferrari and a Lamborghini 763 00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,360 and so far we'd each decided that our car was the best. 764 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:03,360 James had got lost, and we'd ended up by mistake in Bucharest. 765 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,200 We left Bucharest the next morning and headed west, 766 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:22,880 still full of wonderment for this amazing country and our cars. 767 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:28,400 This car is actually filling me with a sort of primordial lust. 768 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:32,400 It actually tingles down in my bowels. It's sinful. 769 00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,760 I cannot tell you how joyful it is 770 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:41,960 to drive a V12 sports car with a proper manual gearbox. 771 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,880 Manual gearbox, really in a GT car? 772 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,600 You want that? It's about making your life easier. 773 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:52,760 Fast, but easier and more comfortable. 774 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:57,920 If you're gonna go GTing, Ferrari, surely? 775 00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:03,680 Then disaster. 776 00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:08,200 Romania only has 143 miles of motorway 777 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:11,280 and by 11am we'd used every one of them. 778 00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:12,760 Ah, James, policemen. 779 00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:16,480 Many, many traditions and rituals surrounding policemen. 780 00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:20,280 Amongst them, if he has a gun, you must go and unbutton him, 781 00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:23,240 just because that says I trust you with your weapon. 782 00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:25,320 Go and unbutton one. 783 00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:26,440 Righto. 784 00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,960 No, just knock his hat off, James. They think it's funny. 785 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,280 They often express their humour here with gunfire. 786 00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,000 Ha ha ha! 787 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:40,000 We then told James we were stopping to put our wind deflectors up. 788 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,120 But in fact, the real reason we stopped here 789 00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:45,960 is so that I could give him a surprise present. 790 00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:48,600 Oh, God! 791 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,480 Is it an ox? 792 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,040 Is it a gypsy? A big one? Nope. 793 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:55,000 It's over there. 794 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,040 What, some wood? 795 00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,280 In front of the wood. 796 00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,320 No! 797 00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:03,080 Yep, seriously. 798 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,360 I have bought you, it's second hand, 799 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,520 but I have bought you a Dacia Sandero. 800 00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:10,280 Really? Yes. 801 00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:12,200 Oh, mate! That's my Dacia Sandero? 802 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,160 No piano's going to land on it, it's not a Morris Marina. 803 00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,320 I'm quite touched. That's fantastic! 804 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:22,040 Can I drive it? You go and drive it while we're putting these on. OK. 805 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,960 He's genuinely chuffed to bits! 806 00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:28,920 For two years, I've been dreaming about this car, 807 00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:32,200 and now I was actually driving it. 808 00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,640 The Lamborghini is all very well, 809 00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:39,560 that's like the ultimate expression of what a car can be, but this is the essence of a car. 810 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,280 All the bits you need, nothing more. No flim-flam. 811 00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:45,160 This is a bit of a faff, isn't it? 812 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:49,360 Ah! A cool, refreshing, communist water. 813 00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:51,440 Jesus! 814 00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:55,840 I could buy that for Hammond, that could be his present. 815 00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,280 Listen to this! ENGINE DROPS 816 00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:05,200 Nice throaty little warble from the engine. It's a happy car. 817 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,720 Dacia Sandero. That is an excellent present. 818 00:47:07,720 --> 00:47:10,040 I don't know what he was thinking of there, 819 00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,680 cos his presents are supposed to be irritating, 820 00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,200 but that's not irritating. 821 00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:15,720 That's superb! 822 00:47:15,720 --> 00:47:18,040 Could you see anything in your screen? 823 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,080 Nothing. When the roof's down? 824 00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,760 As soon as the roof's down, the slightest hint of sun, it's gone. You're back! 825 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:25,400 Ya. How is it? And? 826 00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,920 Good fun, basic, small, sporty. 827 00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:31,400 But you haven't got the little side joke, have you? 828 00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:34,520 What? Well, you can't take it back hand luggage. I'll drive it back. 829 00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:37,960 All the way? Yeah. It took 2 days to get here... 830 00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,480 No! 831 00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,120 Stop! 832 00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:44,520 Stop! 833 00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:47,440 My car's parked there. MAN SPEAKS ROMANIAN 834 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:50,200 You're supposed to look. Look! Mirrors! 835 00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:52,760 HE SPEAKS ROMANIAN 836 00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,880 My arse! You just backed straight into it, man! 837 00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:57,800 Why did you leave it parked behind a lorry? 838 00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:59,720 I didn't know there was anybody in it. 839 00:47:59,720 --> 00:48:02,280 I was leaving it out of shot. 840 00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:04,560 I've only had it about half an hour. Yeah. 841 00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:08,480 I think he was saying in Hungarian, or whatever it is, 842 00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:11,080 it's my fault for parking the car. 843 00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:13,040 Well... Probably was. It sort of is. 844 00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:17,640 Jeez! Oh-wo-ho! Ho-ho. 845 00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,040 Oh, well. 846 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:24,760 You'd have used it for work and everything, wouldn't you? Why don't you go away? 847 00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:26,680 It would have made you happier. 848 00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,080 There is an old tradition in this country 849 00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,840 that on the third Wednesday of every month, which is what today is, 850 00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,520 people with a black T-shirt on 851 00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:37,440 and a picture of a stupid Russian sparkplug shut up. 852 00:48:40,240 --> 00:48:42,400 I liked the Dacia Sandero. 853 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,760 It was honest and simple. 854 00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:46,120 It was refreshing. 855 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:48,880 It's broken. 856 00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,880 As we travelled further west, 857 00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:55,840 the high-tech modern Romania we knew ran out. 858 00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:02,160 It's getting a bit more Borat round here. 859 00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:04,520 It's gypsy country here. 860 00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:09,840 I am told they can be a bit violent if they don't like the look of you. 861 00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:13,720 And on top of that, guess who was leading the convoy? 862 00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:17,560 I'm gonna take a punt on going right now. 863 00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:20,560 Do we know that this is the right way? 864 00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:22,960 Oh, sorry, Hammond, I'm just following May. 865 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,200 You do know what you just said, don't you? 866 00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:29,480 This road is becoming alarmingly lumpy. 867 00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:32,680 I'm worried about my Reventon-style nose. 868 00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,280 The nose is too low. 869 00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:38,840 He's gonna have to admit he's brought the wrong car. 870 00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:41,320 Soon, we were really lost. 871 00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:45,240 They're building what can only be... Yes, it's a public execution. 872 00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:49,200 Where on the map does it say "Turn right at the partially built gallows?" 873 00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,040 That woman has an axe. 874 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:53,480 That big woman has an axe. She has an axe. 875 00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:57,360 We drove deeper and deeper into Borat country. 876 00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:01,720 But luckily, I brought something that would help me blend in. 877 00:50:02,720 --> 00:50:07,040 I'm wearing this hat, so gypsies think I am one. 878 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:08,520 And that's fine. 879 00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:10,320 I'm just a lucky gypsy. 880 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:12,960 A pools-winning gypsy. 881 00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:17,400 James said the next turning would take us back to the main road. 882 00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:19,040 It didn't. 883 00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:22,000 EXCITED SHOUTING 884 00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,760 Holy moly. 885 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,920 Oh, yeah! 886 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:31,640 Oh, no, wait. If you look what's behind you... 887 00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:34,040 The evidence is not stacking up! 888 00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:36,920 Is this the horse and cart? That's a horse. 889 00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,280 We wanted to hit James over the head with a hammer, 890 00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:41,040 but the kids beat us to it. 891 00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,920 Ow! Ow! Ow! 892 00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:46,480 Are you seeing this? 893 00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:49,960 ENGINE REVS 894 00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:54,720 Did you shrink the man in the car behind? 895 00:50:54,720 --> 00:50:56,560 Did you shrink that man, gypsies? 896 00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,880 Getting through the village was bad enough, 897 00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:03,400 getting out of it was even trickier. 898 00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,800 Oh, my God, you're joking! 899 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:10,640 Please fall off! Please fall off! Please fall off! 900 00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:13,920 OK, this is certainly a Grand Tour for these cars. 901 00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:18,320 But with the village behind us and armed with some directions, 902 00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,040 it was plain sailing back to the main road. 903 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:35,280 'He's at the end of the road with another car.' 904 00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:38,920 Thankfully, the damage was light. 905 00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:40,640 My hat! The washer bottle. 906 00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,360 Yeah, it smells of detergent. 907 00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:44,840 Is everybody all right in that car? 908 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,680 That's his second bit of bad luck. Whose? 909 00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:53,760 James's. That's his second car of the day. James... Are there any cars you won't destroy? 910 00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:55,920 How many cars have you destroyed today? 911 00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:58,240 I didn't destroy it. I stopped, as you saw. 912 00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:02,080 I saw you driving like an absolute maniac... Shut up! 913 00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,520 ..Into this poor man's classic Dacia. 914 00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:07,680 Anyway, James, as you know on Top Gear... 915 00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,160 Yes, goodbye. Thank you. 916 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:22,840 Our hunt for the fabled road was not going well. 917 00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:24,600 And then it got worse. 918 00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,400 It went dark, we couldn't find a hotel, 919 00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:34,480 the petrol stations were closed, and because I was very low on fuel, 920 00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:38,400 I found a quiet dead-end road and suggested we sleep in the cars. 921 00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:42,640 That put James and Richard in a bit of a mood. 922 00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,720 Listen, I can cheer you two up. 923 00:52:44,720 --> 00:52:47,960 Would you like some cannabis? Yes, please. Right. 924 00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:52,400 Thanks. Eh? 925 00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:58,200 That's cannabis. No, specifically, it says it's Swiss cannabis ice tea. 926 00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:01,160 That's the best sort. You can get this in petrol stations. 927 00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:03,360 They sell cannabis in petrol stations here? 928 00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:07,280 Would you like some plum liqueur in a bottle the shape of a violin? 929 00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:10,600 Say yes. Yes, it's just what the doctor ordered. 930 00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,920 Oh, dear...God! It gives you a fantastic natural feeling. 931 00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,480 Plum liqueur and cannabis! 932 00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:24,440 That's never been tried before. Give us a go. It's good. 933 00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,800 So we sleep in our cars? Yes. 934 00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,360 I haven't got a back seat. 935 00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,600 I told you, you brought the wrong car. 936 00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:35,560 When I chose it, I should have thought "Better get one with a crap back seat!" 937 00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,840 Just get in your car. BOTTLE SMASHES 938 00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,400 Well, that's the plum liqueur gone! 939 00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,960 We set about our unplanned consumer test. 940 00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:47,000 So, it is a four-seater, they sell it as a four-seater. 941 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:50,880 That must mean a human being can get in the back. 942 00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:52,800 Ah! HORN HONKS 943 00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,120 HORN HONKS Sorry! Sorry, everyone. 944 00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,400 What are you doing? It's a design fault. 945 00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:02,320 People are trying to sleep! 946 00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:07,400 I'm gonna sleep in the front. 947 00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:21,600 Ooh! 948 00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,200 Ohh! 949 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,040 Ohhh! 950 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:35,400 Bloody hell! 951 00:54:38,240 --> 00:54:39,960 Oh! Oh, sorry, mate! 952 00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:43,480 You sleep all right? 953 00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,160 Yeah. Yeah, well. 954 00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:46,200 Good. 955 00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:49,080 Did you not use the back? No, I tried... 956 00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,840 What's that? 957 00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,480 It's a dam. It's all right, it's quite safe. 958 00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:12,720 I should imagine it was built by the Russians or the North Koreans. We'll be fine. 959 00:55:12,720 --> 00:55:18,440 Had I known... Sorry, mate. ..You'd parked us next to that, I wouldn't have enjoyed such a deep sleep. 960 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:21,000 The quality of all Soviet buildings is fantastic. 961 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,240 I'm sure that'll be... 962 00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:25,120 Why don't you shut up? 963 00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:30,440 We set off once more in search of our road. 964 00:55:33,240 --> 00:55:35,040 Oh, my God! 965 00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:38,840 Ohhhhhhhhhhh, yes! 966 00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:40,960 Suddenly, I'm awake. 967 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:44,800 And soon we reach the mountains 968 00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:49,760 where the road surface became as pimply as a teenager's face. 969 00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:53,960 Look at the road now! It's practically ploughed! 970 00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:59,680 This was yet another problem for James in his supercar. 971 00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:06,320 Please let it end! 972 00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:10,160 The torture went on for hours, 973 00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:14,200 but eventually, the mountains gave up their secret. 974 00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:15,520 Look! 975 00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:18,000 God! 976 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,920 Ha! Ha! That's the most amazing road I've ever seen. 977 00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:29,600 Built in the Seventies, this is the Transfagarasan Highway. 978 00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:34,480 6,000 tonnes of dynamite were used to make it. 979 00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,400 And 40 lives lost. 980 00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:41,400 But from above, 981 00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:44,280 it looks like every great corner 982 00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:46,560 from every great racetrack in the world 983 00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:48,360 has been knitted together 984 00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:50,840 to create one unbroken grey ribbon 985 00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:53,840 of automotive perfection. 986 00:56:57,160 --> 00:57:00,880 ENGINES ROAR 987 00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:15,520 This is what we came here for! 988 00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:16,920 Oh, yes! 989 00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:22,000 Our cars had done motorways and city centres and gypsy villages, 990 00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,200 they'd been slept in and written on, 991 00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:28,080 but now they had a chance to let their hair down. 992 00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:43,760 Oh, that's heavenly. 993 00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:46,760 That traction control in a setting that allows a little bit of slip. 994 00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:57,920 Look at that! 995 00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:00,720 The grip! The balance! 996 00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:03,240 Can't beat the work on this. 997 00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:09,400 But here on this road, the happiest bunny of us all, was James. 998 00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,880 I brought the right car! 999 00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:21,240 Lamborghini pay-back time! 1000 00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:25,200 Oh, yeah! 1001 00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:33,000 I have to say, this is one of the two or three best cars 1002 00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:34,480 in the world right now. 1003 00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:43,800 The strange thing is, those two are driving two of the others. 1004 00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:48,240 The road just got better and better. 1005 00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:49,840 We were wrong! 1006 00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:51,880 This is better than the Stelvio. 1007 00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:54,240 This is the best road in the world. 1008 00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:59,280 And the Romanian helicopter cameraman wasn't bad either. 1009 00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:02,880 ENGINES ROAR 1010 00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:07,280 Whoa-ho-ho! 1011 00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:10,840 What a finale to our Grand Tour! 1012 00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:14,880 Just wanna say, Romania, thank you for having us! 1013 00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:16,600 And can we stay? 1014 00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:17,960 For ever! 1015 00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:33,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1016 00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:37,200 APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH 1017 00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:40,440 Anyway... 1018 00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:43,360 What we learned from our lengthy trip to Romania 1019 00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:46,960 was that the Aston Martin, as I predicted at the beginning, 1020 00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,200 was the best. 1021 00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:51,200 Except it was the Lamborghini. The Ferrari was the best. 1022 00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:56,560 Look, guys, the two people whose opinion I respect most of all 1023 00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:58,000 on all matters motoring - 1024 00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:03,040 the Stig and Tiffany Dell - both say that the Aston Martin 1025 01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:05,040 is the best car in the world right now. 1026 01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:06,760 Well, they're both wrong. 1027 01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:08,720 Aha! Let me draw your attention to this. 1028 01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:13,080 This is a report of our visit in one of the leading Romanian newspapers, 1029 01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:15,440 and look at the caption to this picture here. 1030 01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:17,480 It's in Romanian, but I'll translate, 1031 01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:19,960 Jeremy Clarkson in the Aston Martin, 1032 01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:22,560 the best car in the world, camera video. 1033 01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:23,920 It doesn't say that. 1034 01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:25,120 Yes, it does. 1035 01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:26,960 On that bombshell, it is time to end. 1036 01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:29,120 Thank you so much for watching. Good night! 1037 01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:31,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE