1 00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:36,389 Now... 2 00:00:36,429 --> 00:00:41,169 if you buy a G-Wiz, 3 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:45,373 plainly you are not interested in style or comfort or speed 4 00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:50,389 or practicality or driving pleasure - or safety or your dignity. 5 00:00:50,429 --> 00:00:52,889 LAUGHTER 6 00:00:52,929 --> 00:00:57,921 And that got us thinking. If all you want is a battery-powered box, 7 00:00:57,961 --> 00:01:01,169 why spend £8,500 on one of these? 8 00:01:01,209 --> 00:01:08,281 Why not simply build one yourself? I mean, how hard can it be? 9 00:01:08,321 --> 00:01:14,965 Keen to get cracking, we went to the Top Gear Technology Centre and set to work. 10 00:01:15,005 --> 00:01:17,109 It's all very simple, really. 11 00:01:17,149 --> 00:01:19,717 I am in charge of the batteries and the electric motor. 12 00:01:19,757 --> 00:01:23,641 Clarkson is in charge - God help us - of the bodywork and interior, 13 00:01:23,681 --> 00:01:28,061 and Richard Hammond is in charge of the chassis and the brakes. 14 00:01:28,101 --> 00:01:32,341 If you are going to build your owncar, there's no point just throwing the chassis together yourself 15 00:01:32,381 --> 00:01:36,609 cos you'll get caught up in 20 years - of red tape trying to get it registered to use on the road, 16 00:01:36,649 --> 00:01:40,593 so what you need to do is use the chassis from another car. 17 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:44,213 But there is a problem, because most modern cars don't have a chassis as such. 18 00:01:44,253 --> 00:01:48,733 It's all kind of built into the body, so you need to choose from an older car. 19 00:01:48,773 --> 00:01:52,517 Specifically, you've got a choice of either a Land Rover, a Lincoln Town Car, 20 00:01:52,557 --> 00:01:57,217 or this, a TVR Chimaera. 21 00:01:57,257 --> 00:02:01,797 I bought this one for £5,000, and I was going to remove its body and engine 22 00:02:01,837 --> 00:02:07,873 and then use its chassis as the backbone of our new car. 23 00:02:07,913 --> 00:02:14,685 James, meanwhile, was preparing to cannibalise something a bit less sporty. 24 00:02:14,725 --> 00:02:20,157 I shall be using the electric motor - from this, which just leaves me with the problem of the batteries. 25 00:02:20,197 --> 00:02:23,157 Now, the Tesla - that American electric sports car - 26 00:02:23,197 --> 00:02:27,189 uses 6,831 batteries, 27 00:02:27,229 --> 00:02:29,749 but that seems a bit excessive to me, so to save weight, 28 00:02:29,789 --> 00:02:36,893 and money, I'm going to use two batteries. 29 00:02:36,933 --> 00:02:41,141 Like all great car designers, I'd created a mood room, 30 00:02:41,181 --> 00:02:45,857 hung with images from which I could draw inspiration. 31 00:02:45,897 --> 00:02:51,517 Big cats, jet fighters, the actor Peter Bowles, 32 00:02:51,557 --> 00:03:00,237 and pretty soon, I was ready to start work. 33 00:03:00,277 --> 00:03:04,701 It's a lovely material to work with, aluminium, because it bends. 34 00:03:04,741 --> 00:03:08,501 Car makers could learn a lot from this simple system I've adopted. 35 00:03:08,541 --> 00:03:11,765 Ow! BLEEP! Ow! 36 00:03:11,805 --> 00:03:14,733 And there is the precious chassis. 37 00:03:14,773 --> 00:03:23,705 That is the basisof everything we're doing. A doddle! 38 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:28,081 In terms of construction, I've taken my lead from shelving. 39 00:03:28,121 --> 00:03:31,373 You've simply got the uprights, which I've got here. 40 00:03:31,413 --> 00:03:34,125 There it is. 41 00:03:34,165 --> 00:03:36,533 The bolt goes through there. 42 00:03:36,573 --> 00:03:38,453 Damn it! 43 00:03:38,493 --> 00:03:40,373 How simple is this? 44 00:03:40,413 --> 00:03:44,893 One piece, another piece, bolts holding them together. 45 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:49,521 With the milk float dismembered, my power system was taking shape. 46 00:03:49,561 --> 00:03:53,937 That's 100 quid's worth of batteries, a 20 quid milk float motor, 47 00:03:53,977 --> 00:03:56,705 and watch this. MOTOR WHIRRS 48 00:03:56,745 --> 00:03:59,173 Hear that? 49 00:03:59,213 --> 00:04:02,425 Is that turning round now? Don't put your finger on it. I'm not going to. 50 00:04:02,465 --> 00:04:05,173 As long as you two keep the weight of your body and chassis down, 51 00:04:05,213 --> 00:04:08,677 that'll go like a stabbed rat. Are you sure? 52 00:04:08,717 --> 00:04:13,205 Well, it'll be a damn sight faster than a G-Wiz. 53 00:04:13,245 --> 00:04:20,725 'While May wired up his batteries and Hammond prepared his chassis...' It's free! 54 00:04:20,765 --> 00:04:27,173 '..I retired to the mood room to seek further design inspiration.' 55 00:04:27,213 --> 00:04:30,909 OK. We're removing ancient history here. Guys! 56 00:04:30,949 --> 00:04:33,069 Is he...? Yes? 57 00:04:33,109 --> 00:04:41,053 Has anyone ever done a car with a moustache? No. No. 58 00:04:41,093 --> 00:04:48,005 Having finished their jobs, Hammond and May left me alone to complete the bodywork. 59 00:04:48,045 --> 00:04:56,893 Beautiful. 60 00:04:56,933 --> 00:05:00,457 Our masterpiece was ready. 61 00:05:00,497 --> 00:05:06,021 Well, credit where it's due... I can't see any of the nail heads. I mean, it's all right. 62 00:05:06,061 --> 00:05:08,709 You're pleased? Very. Amazed. 63 00:05:08,749 --> 00:05:11,569 I have to say, this isn't actually it. 64 00:05:11,609 --> 00:05:13,601 Oh. Oh. 65 00:05:13,641 --> 00:05:15,193 There you go! 66 00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:22,285 FANFARE PLAYS 67 00:05:22,325 --> 00:05:25,365 That is the worst-looking car in the whole world. 68 00:05:25,405 --> 00:05:27,525 I'd rather look at one of your dingleberries. 69 00:05:27,565 --> 00:05:30,725 What is the matter exactly? Everything is straight. 70 00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:33,477 Everything is doable on your kitchen table. 71 00:05:33,517 --> 00:05:37,581 Jeremy, is that a section from a garage door? Yes. Oh, OK. 72 00:05:37,621 --> 00:05:41,053 What's more, I'd fitted a tape player, and, rather brilliantly, 73 00:05:41,093 --> 00:05:44,041 three-abreast seating. 74 00:05:44,081 --> 00:05:46,885 Who's going to sit here? You haven't given them any head room. 75 00:05:46,925 --> 00:05:49,225 Hammond can sit in the middle. Oh, God. 76 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:52,193 Careful of my roof! You're bending my roof! 77 00:05:52,233 --> 00:05:55,381 It's bending my spine! You really need to change the roof. 78 00:05:55,421 --> 00:06:00,333 That's no good. All right, all right! Back to the drawing board. 79 00:06:00,373 --> 00:06:02,693 'While Jeremy modified the roof...' 80 00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,789 Out. Out! '..Hammond and I 81 00:06:04,829 --> 00:06:08,885 'started to think about a name for our creation.' 82 00:06:08,925 --> 00:06:13,693 I hate it when eco-cars are given a really pious name like Intelligentsia. 83 00:06:13,733 --> 00:06:18,021 So we want to give it a more aggressive name? Like Mustang, Tiger, Leopard, Panther. 84 00:06:18,061 --> 00:06:21,053 Or Vixen. Vixen! 85 00:06:21,093 --> 00:06:26,649 'Sadly, though, Jeremy had beaten us to it.' 86 00:06:26,689 --> 00:06:29,229 "Geoff". 87 00:06:29,269 --> 00:06:31,213 MECHANICAL GRINDING 88 00:06:31,253 --> 00:06:42,741 And after some more styling tweaks, - Geoff was ready for the road. 89 00:06:42,781 --> 00:06:46,069 I feel like the Pope with his head in a box! 90 00:06:46,109 --> 00:06:48,333 It works! 91 00:06:48,373 --> 00:06:50,917 THUD! Ow. 92 00:06:50,957 --> 00:06:54,213 LOUD DRONING What is that noise? It's the motor. 93 00:06:54,253 --> 00:06:56,933 It sounds like they're filming an episode of Bonanza. 94 00:06:56,973 --> 00:06:58,509 It's an amazing racket. 95 00:06:58,549 --> 00:07:01,069 Don't knock it. It's working. 96 00:07:01,109 --> 00:07:03,121 Open it up, James. Open it up. 97 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,633 Yeah, go on. Give it some beans! I have. Is that it? 98 00:07:05,673 --> 00:07:08,009 Is that full speed? Uh, yeah. 99 00:07:08,049 --> 00:07:11,685 How fast is that? Nearly ten. 100 00:07:11,725 --> 00:07:15,761 You've built a car that will only do 10mph?! 101 00:07:15,801 --> 00:07:18,933 It... Yeah. 102 00:07:18,973 --> 00:07:21,337 'Actually, that wasn't such a bad thing 103 00:07:21,377 --> 00:07:26,257 'on account of the design flaw with Jeremy's shiny bonnet.' 104 00:07:26,297 --> 00:07:31,369 Ah, I'm blind! My head's being cooked in a box! That's quite bad. 105 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,165 I'll tell you what, though - it works. It does work. 106 00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:39,933 I mean, it's going along. We're in an electric car. Which we made. It's fantastic. £6,000. 107 00:07:39,973 --> 00:07:43,729 Can you put three people in a G-Wiz? No. 108 00:07:43,769 --> 00:07:48,713 'In fact, we were so proud of Geoff, we took him for a drive into Oxford.' 109 00:07:48,753 --> 00:07:51,901 Now, you do realise Oxford loathes the motorcar? 110 00:07:51,941 --> 00:07:55,337 Not this one. But this one will be welcome. 111 00:07:55,377 --> 00:07:59,293 They will think it's the second coming! A hippy! 112 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:01,493 See the happy hippies? 113 00:08:01,533 --> 00:08:06,413 Did you see the cyclist smiling at us? 114 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:12,653 'However, as we neared the city centre, James' power system started to develop some issues.' 115 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,277 I'm not going to indicate. It seems to slow it down. 116 00:08:15,317 --> 00:08:18,229 You're not telling me that the indicators affect the charge?! 117 00:08:18,269 --> 00:08:22,493 There's something not quite right with the way it's wired. I felt a drop in power as I... 118 00:08:22,533 --> 00:08:25,277 Why did you not fit more than two batteries? 119 00:08:25,317 --> 00:08:29,525 Because I wanted to save weight. Stop picking holes in it! 120 00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:33,513 'To take our minds off the power problems, I found some music.' 121 00:08:33,553 --> 00:08:36,201 Belinda Carlisle. 122 00:08:36,241 --> 00:08:39,561 MUSIC PLAYS 123 00:08:39,601 --> 00:08:44,493 'Sadly, though, James doesn't like Belinda Carlisle.' 124 00:08:44,533 --> 00:08:46,293 Off! TURNS MUSIC OFF 125 00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:49,717 James, James, we aren't allowed to drive down this street. Yes, we are. 126 00:08:49,757 --> 00:08:57,181 No, we aren't. We are. 'I was right. We weren't.' 127 00:08:57,221 --> 00:08:58,685 Oh, God! 128 00:08:58,725 --> 00:09:02,185 Well, you're going to have to turn round. That's a dead end. 129 00:09:02,225 --> 00:09:05,373 Hang on. It's packed up. Oh, no. DRONING 130 00:09:05,413 --> 00:09:08,169 Don't tell me it's died. HORN BLARES 131 00:09:08,209 --> 00:09:10,669 Sorry. Why is it doing that? 132 00:09:10,709 --> 00:09:12,245 HORNS BLARE 133 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,153 You designed the engine. It's working! 134 00:09:15,193 --> 00:09:18,981 James, wait! The cyclist! There's a Peugeot! Sorry, mate! 135 00:09:19,021 --> 00:09:20,653 Mind the cyclists. 136 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:24,077 'Then it stopped again.' Sorry. 137 00:09:24,117 --> 00:09:27,453 Sorry. It's got a bad connection. It just cuts out. HORNS BLARE 138 00:09:27,493 --> 00:09:29,605 I feel silly now. 139 00:09:29,645 --> 00:09:31,873 Oh, there's a policeman! 140 00:09:31,913 --> 00:09:35,453 'Every time we reversed, the motor cut out, 141 00:09:35,493 --> 00:09:40,845 'so we had to go forwards into the buses-only zone.' Excuse me, Hammond. 142 00:09:40,885 --> 00:09:44,093 Sorry. Sorry. 143 00:09:44,133 --> 00:09:47,405 # You say that it's complicated... # 144 00:09:47,445 --> 00:09:53,293 Sorry. Belinda Carlisle! What do you think of that? 145 00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:58,981 'Having annoyed the people the centre of Oxford, we drove on and ended up annoying the people 146 00:09:59,021 --> 00:10:01,233 'in the outskirts of Oxford.' 147 00:10:01,273 --> 00:10:04,361 Have we got anyone behind us? Yes. 148 00:10:04,401 --> 00:10:07,061 Oh, yes! Yes, we have, yes! 149 00:10:07,101 --> 00:10:09,373 This is embarrassing. HORNS BLARE 150 00:10:09,413 --> 00:10:13,341 'And then it got a bit more embarrassing.' 151 00:10:13,381 --> 00:10:16,469 James, this isn't... Why are you stopping? Oh, God. 152 00:10:16,509 --> 00:10:20,405 James? Why...?ENGINE SPLUTTERS 153 00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:23,361 We've run out of juice. But... 154 00:10:23,401 --> 00:10:25,685 HORNS BLARE 155 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:28,733 'While James and Richard directed the traffic round Geoff, 156 00:10:28,773 --> 00:10:33,733 'I went in search of some electricity.' DOORBELL RINGS 157 00:10:33,773 --> 00:10:38,969 HORNS BLARE A tiny, tiny bit left. That'll do. You've got room on the left. 158 00:10:39,009 --> 00:10:41,125 Nobody in. 159 00:10:41,165 --> 00:10:43,689 Wait, wait, wait. Just go back a little bit. 160 00:10:43,729 --> 00:10:47,265 HORNS BLARE 161 00:10:47,305 --> 00:10:49,845 I thought everybody was unemployed! 162 00:10:49,885 --> 00:10:52,421 So it's left a bit. A bit more. 163 00:10:52,461 --> 00:10:55,049 No, no, no! Left. That's right. 164 00:10:55,089 --> 00:11:00,049 This'll be an old people's home. They won't have electricity. HORNS BLARE 165 00:11:00,089 --> 00:11:03,205 Guys, we're going to have to get the electricity from this side of the road. 166 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:05,765 Nobody is in there. OK. 167 00:11:05,805 --> 00:11:07,297 Thank you. 168 00:11:07,337 --> 00:11:10,533 Sorry, everybody. You are so kind. 169 00:11:10,573 --> 00:11:15,813 When you run out of fuel in the future, this will be your life - undoing spaghetti. 170 00:11:15,853 --> 00:11:18,469 We're in! 171 00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:21,141 There. That works. 172 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,861 Sorry. Sorry. 173 00:11:23,901 --> 00:11:27,005 James, how long does it take to charge an electric car? 174 00:11:27,045 --> 00:11:30,533 Well, to charge it fully would take a good six or seven hours, but in two hours... 175 00:11:30,573 --> 00:11:32,781 Whoa! Six or seven HOURS?! 176 00:11:32,821 --> 00:11:37,733 My arm's aching already. Those are the facts of battery-powered cars. We know that. 177 00:11:37,773 --> 00:11:41,329 'Still, much to the relief of everyone...' 178 00:11:41,369 --> 00:11:45,049 CRUNCH! No! '.. Geoff was ready to go.' 179 00:11:45,089 --> 00:11:47,733 Let's see. Yes! MUSIC: Theme from "Rocky" 180 00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:51,333 'Sadly, though, he was just as slow as before.' 181 00:11:51,373 --> 00:11:55,365 James, you're being overtaken by children. 182 00:11:55,405 --> 00:11:57,285 A lot of children coming past. 183 00:11:57,325 --> 00:12:02,033 There's a bicycle coming by. With two people on it. Another bicycle coming by. 184 00:12:02,073 --> 00:12:07,957 'On balance, we thought it best to leave Oxford and get back to the Top Gear Technology Centre, 185 00:12:07,997 --> 00:12:12,453 'but then James took a wrong turning...' Left! Left there! 186 00:12:12,493 --> 00:12:17,565 What? '..with terrible consequences.' 187 00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:20,597 HORNS BLARE James, this is the A34! 188 00:12:20,637 --> 00:12:25,657 Oh, God! This is a road with a speed limit of 70mph. 189 00:12:25,697 --> 00:12:29,813 A lot of traffic now! Can you drive with the hazards on? 190 00:12:29,853 --> 00:12:33,269 Yeah, but it might slow us down a bit. Oh, my God. 191 00:12:33,309 --> 00:12:35,909 James, get off the dual carriageway. 192 00:12:35,949 --> 00:12:39,445 That sign says "Motorway 6". I don't want to go on the motorway! 193 00:12:39,485 --> 00:12:42,489 James, do not... Is there a junction before that? 194 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:45,193 Look at the traffic jam. I can't. 195 00:12:45,233 --> 00:12:47,193 It's too embarrassing. Look at the traffic jam. 196 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:50,813 I can't! I've got my head in a plastic box, and everyone can see me! 197 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,097 HORNS BLARE Do you know what we've done? 198 00:12:53,137 --> 00:12:55,785 We've made something worse than a G-Wiz. 199 00:12:55,825 --> 00:12:58,365 Don't say that. We have. 200 00:12:58,405 --> 00:13:01,377 I disagree. It's slower. Yes. 201 00:13:01,417 --> 00:13:03,861 He's being cooked. Yes. 202 00:13:03,901 --> 00:13:09,961 It's rubbish. 203 00:13:10,001 --> 00:13:16,097 MUSIC PLAYS SLOWLY: "Heaven Is APlace On Earth" by Belinda Carlisle 204 00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:21,893 # We'll make heaven a place on... # 205 00:13:21,933 --> 00:13:24,773 Eventually, we ended up in the countryside 206 00:13:24,813 --> 00:13:27,833 where at least we couldn't get in anyone's way, 207 00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:33,961 but unfortunately, the A34 had had a catastrophic effect on our performance. 208 00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:39,365 We're hardly moving!HIGH-PITCHED DRONING 209 00:13:39,405 --> 00:13:43,849 I wouldn't mind it going slowly. I just wish it wouldn't make that noise. 210 00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:45,117 James... 211 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:46,865 Oh, God! What? 212 00:13:46,905 --> 00:13:50,773 ENGINE WHINES 213 00:13:50,813 --> 00:13:55,209 Please tell me that... ENGINE STOPS 214 00:13:55,249 --> 00:13:57,365 You bloody idiot! 215 00:13:57,405 --> 00:14:00,457 Why did you think two batteries was the right solution? 216 00:14:00,497 --> 00:14:05,253 Tesla used 6,800 batteries for a reason. 217 00:14:05,293 --> 00:14:09,613 Oh, great(!) We're actually holding people up here. Sorry. Sorry! 218 00:14:09,653 --> 00:14:12,681 THEY STRAIN Come on, Geoff. 219 00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:14,681 Come on! I'll tell you what, James. 220 00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:17,817 What? There's loads of houses around here where we can get 221 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:22,885 some more electricity(!) James, seriously, why didn't you put more than two batteries in it? 222 00:14:22,925 --> 00:14:27,613 I didn't want it to weigh too much. - Batteries go flat. This is important consumer information. 223 00:14:27,653 --> 00:14:30,725 Stored electricity is like a caged animal. 224 00:14:30,765 --> 00:14:35,365 You should have used more than two. - Well, next time, I know and we know. 225 00:14:35,405 --> 00:14:39,869 Tell me that isn't happening. Tell me that isn't happening. 226 00:14:39,909 --> 00:14:43,661 CRASH! 227 00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:47,117 I... I don't want to... 228 00:14:47,157 --> 00:14:51,041 The lonely walk confirmed our worst fears. 229 00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:58,273 Geoff was dead. 230 00:14:58,313 --> 00:15:02,725 Don't applaud. Don't applaud. Geoff is dead! 231 00:15:02,765 --> 00:15:07,557 It was the saddest moment. As it hit the tree, my heart broke. 232 00:15:07,597 --> 00:15:10,917 They're obviously all from Oxford, that's what it is. 233 00:15:10,957 --> 00:15:13,257 Yeah. 234 00:15:13,297 --> 00:15:16,165 Anyway, we could have given up at that point, but we didn't. 235 00:15:16,205 --> 00:15:18,897 We went back to the drawing board and later on you'll be able to see 236 00:15:18,937 --> 00:15:23,213 the results of our frankly brilliant effort. But for now, it's the news. 237 00:15:23,253 --> 00:15:26,293 It is indeed and we start with this. 238 00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:30,729 As we know, Formula One has always been the most glamorous sport 239 00:15:30,769 --> 00:15:34,257 in the world, hasn't it? Yeah? But not any more. Not from next year. 240 00:15:34,297 --> 00:15:37,841 There's four new teams joining in, OK. One of them, Manor Grand Prix, 241 00:15:37,881 --> 00:15:42,309 is based in Sheffield. How glamorous is that? 242 00:15:42,349 --> 00:15:45,325 Strictly speaking, it's actually between Sheffield and Rotherham. 243 00:15:45,365 --> 00:15:49,461 If we're going to be pedantic, it's between Sheffield, Rotherham and Worksop, 244 00:15:49,501 --> 00:15:51,977 in a place called Dinnington, which I know well. 245 00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:57,025 And it's exactly like Monte Carlo...apart from in every single detail. 246 00:15:57,065 --> 00:16:00,541 It does take the shine of it a bit. I can't wait to see their new car. 247 00:16:00,581 --> 00:16:04,053 I don't why you bother with all that carbon fibre, I made mine out of steel. 248 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:08,057 Stainless steel. If that Fernando Alonso hits our car, 249 00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:12,165 his Ferrari will be knackered. I'll tell you that for nowt. 250 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:16,309 It's funny, me dad worked in pit and now I've got a job in pit and all. 251 00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:21,729 They're replacing Toyota and they've signed Timo Glock, 252 00:16:21,769 --> 00:16:24,433 who presumably is currently learning why it's important to punch anyone 253 00:16:24,473 --> 00:16:26,869 who looks at him funny. 254 00:16:26,909 --> 00:16:30,869 Is anyone from Sheffield? Yeah. Are you? Whereabouts? 255 00:16:30,909 --> 00:16:34,213 You're from Sheffield? Cos I'm just thinking, 256 00:16:34,253 --> 00:16:38,405 they're using Cosworth engines, or I should say, Sheffield, Cozza. 257 00:16:38,445 --> 00:16:42,733 Cosa? No, Coz-za. You've got to have- a stroke halfway through the word. 258 00:16:42,773 --> 00:16:47,293 Coz-za. So your face falls. Coz-za.- Coz-za. Your face falls off. 259 00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:50,793 You're from Sheffield, just practise it, just show us. 260 00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:53,125 How do you say it? Cozza. 261 00:16:53,165 --> 00:16:54,717 There you go! 262 00:16:54,757 --> 00:16:57,213 I think it's fair to say that that team is probably Top Gear's 263 00:16:57,253 --> 00:17:00,105 absolute favourite F1 team. I want them to win everything, 264 00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,997 so on the podium they're gonna have a big brass band at the end. 265 00:17:03,037 --> 00:17:09,261 Abide With Me. Ain't that a national anthem? We'll have Abide With Me on a brass band, be lovely. 266 00:17:09,301 --> 00:17:13,717 Now, criminals, would you like to get away with your crimes? 267 00:17:13,757 --> 00:17:17,493 Are you capable of running more than 100 yards? 268 00:17:17,533 --> 00:17:22,453 Well, good news, because the police - are thinking of using these now. 269 00:17:22,493 --> 00:17:25,561 It's a Mitsubishi electric. 270 00:17:25,601 --> 00:17:30,309 They say it's helping them crack down on CO2. 271 00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:33,933 I don't want the police to crack down on CO2. 272 00:17:33,973 --> 00:17:36,341 I want them to get my bloody television back, 273 00:17:36,381 --> 00:17:38,981 because it's been six years since that was nicked, 274 00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:42,653 and I haven't heard a peep out of them whilst they've been going on about cracking down on CO2. 275 00:17:42,693 --> 00:17:45,405 I'll have to buy another one at this rate. 276 00:17:45,445 --> 00:17:48,417 What were you stopped for the other day, by a policeman? 277 00:17:48,457 --> 00:17:50,857 It was some motoring misdemeanour. You just turned around and said, 278 00:17:50,897 --> 00:17:55,417 "Oh, good. This must mean you've found my television." 279 00:17:55,457 --> 00:17:59,261 If I was a policeman and my chief freemason came into the office 280 00:17:59,301 --> 00:18:04,969 and said... I mean Chief Constable. - I always get them muddled up. 281 00:18:05,009 --> 00:18:08,421 And he said, "Right, you've got to do your beat in one of those." 282 00:18:08,461 --> 00:18:10,721 I would drink my own pepper spray. 283 00:18:10,761 --> 00:18:14,565 I'll tell you what, this is a slightly interesting one, OK. 284 00:18:14,605 --> 00:18:18,749 There was a survey recently about the effects that a nice car 285 00:18:18,789 --> 00:18:23,029 can have on a male, the human male, OK? 286 00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:26,217 What they did was they got 40 young - guys and they made them drive 287 00:18:26,257 --> 00:18:28,813 up and down the street in a Toyota Camry and then drive up and down 288 00:18:28,853 --> 00:18:31,877 the same street, in the same manner, in a Porsche 911 289 00:18:31,917 --> 00:18:34,905 and then they measured their testosterone after each drive. 290 00:18:34,945 --> 00:18:38,313 And after driving the Porsche, it had shot up. 291 00:18:38,353 --> 00:18:40,877 So it had an actual physiological effect on them? Yeah. 292 00:18:40,917 --> 00:18:43,813 I'm amazed by that. I think that makes perfect sense, doesn't it? 293 00:18:43,853 --> 00:18:47,029 Cos whenever I drive a really nice, - exciting car I always get 294 00:18:47,069 --> 00:18:51,157 like a nice little fizzing sensation. 295 00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:55,001 No, it's not... Where is this fizzing sensation? 296 00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:57,125 It's not actually in my penis, but it's... 297 00:18:57,165 --> 00:19:00,781 but it's sort of just behind it. 298 00:19:00,821 --> 00:19:03,125 A fizzing sensation just behind your penis? 299 00:19:03,165 --> 00:19:05,341 Yeah. So, isn't that the pit of your stomach? 300 00:19:05,381 --> 00:19:08,253 No, no, lower down than that, sort of right... 301 00:19:08,293 --> 00:19:13,781 That's your prostate, mate. You've sat on the gear. 302 00:19:13,821 --> 00:19:17,253 Does anybody else have a fizzing sensation just behind their penis... 303 00:19:17,293 --> 00:19:20,701 Am I the only person... Ah! Thank you, sir. You have? Good man. 304 00:19:20,741 --> 00:19:24,813 Or do you just want to be on television? 305 00:19:24,853 --> 00:19:27,093 Come here. Do come here. 306 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:32,313 It's just got a lot worse! James May, a man in a moustache has come on the stage 307 00:19:32,353 --> 00:19:35,765 and wishes to meet you to discuss... Please, have a seat. ..your fizzing penises. 308 00:19:35,805 --> 00:19:39,141 That's the end of the news. Oh, God! 309 00:19:39,181 --> 00:19:42,861 APPLAUSE 310 00:19:42,901 --> 00:19:45,109 I'd like to commend you on being brave enough, 311 00:19:45,149 --> 00:19:48,017 especially as you've grown a moustache for charity, 312 00:19:48,057 --> 00:19:51,861 to come on the stage and admit that - you too have been bestowed 313 00:19:51,901 --> 00:19:55,501 with this great gift from the gods of a slight fizzing sensation 314 00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:58,937 somewhere behind your penis but in front of your prostate when you drive an exciting car. 315 00:19:58,977 --> 00:20:02,221 What sort of car are you driving when you feel it? 316 00:20:02,261 --> 00:20:06,173 Citroen AX. 317 00:20:06,213 --> 00:20:09,005 Honestly, no, seriously... 318 00:20:09,045 --> 00:20:19,657 we really must invite you to... go back over there. Thank you. 319 00:20:19,697 --> 00:20:22,349 I think some of us are just more fortunate than others. 320 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:25,065 You must have had this on a motorcycle. No, never! 321 00:20:25,105 --> 00:20:30,253 I'm just gonna stand. I don't even want to use that seat now. 322 00:20:30,293 --> 00:20:34,037 Now, we have to just touch on something, don't we, before we go, 323 00:20:34,077 --> 00:20:36,549 because... LAUGHTER 324 00:20:36,589 --> 00:20:41,269 No, we don't, no. No, no, no. Argh! 325 00:20:41,309 --> 00:20:44,097 The news has gone wrong this week. 326 00:20:44,137 --> 00:20:48,409 I'd rather chop them off. I'd rather slice them. 327 00:20:48,449 --> 00:20:51,881 Thing is, next week we're doing this item 328 00:20:51,921 --> 00:20:57,445 on which car company has produced the largest number of great cars. 329 00:20:57,485 --> 00:21:00,501 This is GREAT cars? Yes, GREAT cars. - So, any thoughts on which 330 00:21:00,541 --> 00:21:05,221 car company's made the biggest number of GREAT cars? 331 00:21:05,261 --> 00:21:07,521 See, Aston Martin isn't... 332 00:21:07,561 --> 00:21:10,849 I don't think Aston has made a single great, GREAT car. They make some lovely... 333 00:21:10,889 --> 00:21:14,129 DB5 was only great because of JamesBond. It's actually a bit rubbish... 334 00:21:14,169 --> 00:21:16,677 Exactly. Anyone else got any thoughts? 335 00:21:16,717 --> 00:21:19,973 Who said Ferrari? Somebody said Ferrari over there. That's a good call, but... 336 00:21:20,013 --> 00:21:23,457 It's a good call, but if you think about it, they've made a lot of rubbish cars too. 337 00:21:23,497 --> 00:21:26,053 Their 348 was rubbish, the Testarossa was rubbish... 338 00:21:26,093 --> 00:21:29,525 Mondial was rubbish. The F40 was a great car. That was great. 339 00:21:29,565 --> 00:21:32,269 But what about mainstream manufacturers, though? Ford. 340 00:21:32,309 --> 00:21:34,925 They did the Model T, that's kind of an important car. 341 00:21:34,965 --> 00:21:38,173 Mustang... GT40 is a great car. 342 00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:41,709 This, I think, is an interesting debate that petrol heads can have. 343 00:21:41,749 --> 00:21:43,805 We genuinely would like to hear what you have to say, 344 00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:47,445 so do please go on our website, which is on the internet, 345 00:21:47,485 --> 00:21:51,193 and then write something on... I don't know how you... Write something on it, 346 00:21:51,233 --> 00:21:56,085 which car firm you think has produced the largest number of great cars. If you write that down 347 00:21:56,125 --> 00:21:59,817 on our internet...we'll read it. 348 00:21:59,857 --> 00:22:02,301 LAUGHTER 349 00:22:02,341 --> 00:22:06,493 Now, last year I drove an Audi R8, and I thought it was the knees of 350 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:09,253 the bee, but in a straight line, at - least, it was a little bit slower 351 00:22:09,293 --> 00:22:11,021 than a Porsche 911. 352 00:22:11,061 --> 00:22:14,117 Yeah, quite a lot slower than a 911, actually. 353 00:22:14,157 --> 00:22:17,613 It was about THAT much slower. I admit that much makes all the difference. 354 00:22:17,653 --> 00:22:21,973 LAUGHTER 355 00:22:22,013 --> 00:22:35,101 However, Audi has now released a new faster version. 356 00:22:35,141 --> 00:22:40,245 This is it, and it looks pretty much the same as the original. 357 00:22:40,285 --> 00:22:48,009 However... 358 00:22:48,049 --> 00:22:53,009 The standard R8 has a 4.2-litre V8. 359 00:22:53,049 --> 00:23:01,605 THIS has a 5.2-litre Lamborghini V10. 360 00:23:01,645 --> 00:23:05,973 That means 518-brake horsepower... 361 00:23:06,013 --> 00:23:09,509 enough torque to tenderise an elephant 362 00:23:09,549 --> 00:23:15,477 and a top speed of about 200mph. 363 00:23:15,517 --> 00:23:20,069 0 to 60 is dealt with in 3.7 seconds. That's there - 364 00:23:20,109 --> 00:23:24,789 80, 90, 100, 110, 365 00:23:24,829 --> 00:23:28,741 120, 125 in eight seconds. 366 00:23:28,781 --> 00:23:33,245 This thing is phenomenal! 367 00:23:33,285 --> 00:23:47,213 The handling is pretty epic as well. 368 00:23:47,253 --> 00:23:52,933 As a driver's car, this is...spectacularly good. 369 00:23:52,973 --> 00:24:00,761 It's like Scarlett Johansson's lips - or the roof of Paddington Station. 370 00:24:00,801 --> 00:24:04,773 Absolutely faultless. 371 00:24:04,813 --> 00:24:08,229 Oh, God, it's good! 372 00:24:08,269 --> 00:24:10,413 Oh, mmmmm! 373 00:24:10,501 --> 00:24:19,369 r! 374 00:24:19,409 --> 00:24:27,413 And unlike most super-cars, it's not even desperately impractical. 375 00:24:27,453 --> 00:24:32,385 You get a boot, which is big enough- for three medium-sized goats. 376 00:24:32,425 --> 00:24:34,697 You get a useful shelf behind the seats, 377 00:24:34,737 --> 00:24:39,933 and you get room inside to move about - and breathe. 378 00:24:39,973 --> 00:24:43,125 There are a couple of mistakes, I admit. 379 00:24:43,165 --> 00:24:47,133 If, for instance, you have a can of - tangy, refreshing drink here 380 00:24:47,173 --> 00:24:49,685 in the cup holder, and you go to change gear, 381 00:24:49,725 --> 00:24:52,841 your elbow's going to knock it and that's annoying. 382 00:24:52,881 --> 00:24:57,169 And as far as I can work out, the trip computer isn't working. 383 00:24:57,209 --> 00:24:59,765 I don't like to say that because it would have been installed by 384 00:24:59,805 --> 00:25:02,777 a German who will be shot at dawn for his mistake, 385 00:25:02,817 --> 00:25:07,885 but it...it doesn't. 386 00:25:07,925 --> 00:25:12,793 And then there's the biggest mistake of them all - the price. 387 00:25:12,833 --> 00:25:16,341 It's £100,000. And that's just the start. 388 00:25:16,381 --> 00:25:20,465 If you want ceramic brakes, £7,000. 389 00:25:20,505 --> 00:25:23,485 Flappy-paddle gearbox, £5,000. 390 00:25:23,525 --> 00:25:26,341 If you want the boot lined in fake suede, 391 00:25:26,381 --> 00:25:28,309 £1,600. 392 00:25:28,349 --> 00:25:31,389 Bucket seats - £2,350. 393 00:25:31,429 --> 00:25:35,793 Colour co-ordinated seatbelts - 750 quid! 394 00:25:35,833 --> 00:25:39,249 If you want these panels, here, finished in carbon fibre, 395 00:25:39,289 --> 00:25:42,309 you're mad, mad as a Mexican's dog. 396 00:25:42,349 --> 00:25:48,485 They even charge £500 if you want to pick the car up from the factory yourself. 397 00:25:48,525 --> 00:25:51,389 That's like charging someone £10 extra for a bottle of wine 398 00:25:51,429 --> 00:25:53,777 if you tread the grapes yourself. 399 00:25:53,817 --> 00:25:59,309 I'd tell them to get lost. 400 00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:05,513 Strangely, however, it's not the money that would stop me buying this car. 401 00:26:05,553 --> 00:26:09,889 The trouble is... is it's a bit too joyless. 402 00:26:09,929 --> 00:26:12,361 A bit too like Scarlett Johansson's lips. 403 00:26:12,401 --> 00:26:17,953 You can...never imagine this thing smiling. 404 00:26:17,993 --> 00:26:20,669 I mean, look what happens, OK, if I hit this button here. 405 00:26:20,709 --> 00:26:24,157 "Sport mode on," exclamation mark. 406 00:26:24,197 --> 00:26:27,045 What's it got an exclamation mark for? 407 00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:32,857 You put the sport on in a super-car? You mad, crazy fool, you! 408 00:26:32,897 --> 00:26:34,845 Look at the sat-nav, OK. 409 00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:39,565 It can take you to a bank or a bowling alley or a bus station. 410 00:26:39,605 --> 00:26:42,233 I'm sorry? Golf course. 411 00:26:42,273 --> 00:26:44,593 Historical monument. 412 00:26:44,633 --> 00:26:46,517 Yes, I've got a super-car, but I'm going to stop off 413 00:26:46,557 --> 00:26:51,249 and look at this Neolithic fort! 414 00:26:51,289 --> 00:26:55,001 The R8 V10, then, doesn't really do fun. 415 00:26:55,041 --> 00:26:59,721 It doesn't do pantomime, so if I was spending £100,000 on a car, 416 00:26:59,761 --> 00:27:20,033 I'd think very seriously about buying something worse. 417 00:27:20,073 --> 00:27:35,297 This is the Corvette ZR1, which is extremely fast. 418 00:27:35,337 --> 00:27:39,441 This has a super-charged 6.2-litre engine, 419 00:27:39,481 --> 00:27:49,269 which is a turbot compared to Audi's 5.2-litre un-supercharged cod. 420 00:27:49,309 --> 00:27:56,081 Put it in a drag race with the R8 and the results are inevitable. 421 00:27:56,121 --> 00:28:02,393 I have got 120 more horsepower than the R8... 422 00:28:02,433 --> 00:28:05,781 and because the Corvette is made from plastic, 423 00:28:05,821 --> 00:28:09,581 it's lighter as well. 424 00:28:09,621 --> 00:28:13,237 If only America could win its wars so convincingly. 425 00:28:13,277 --> 00:28:18,441 However, there are a few problems. 426 00:28:18,481 --> 00:28:22,237 I tested one in America last year and, erm... 427 00:28:22,277 --> 00:28:25,989 after three days, it was starting to fall apart, and then on the fourth, 428 00:28:26,029 --> 00:28:29,221 it refused to start. 429 00:28:29,261 --> 00:28:32,317 It's also insanely vulgar. 430 00:28:32,357 --> 00:28:35,065 It's only available with left-hand drive. 431 00:28:35,105 --> 00:28:38,409 The luggage cover looks like a motel shower curtain. 432 00:28:38,449 --> 00:28:47,693 It's much too wide and in the corners, it's a complete mad man. 433 00:28:47,733 --> 00:28:51,141 Oh. 434 00:28:51,181 --> 00:28:55,769 When I drove this thing in California, I loved it! 435 00:28:55,809 --> 00:28:59,241 But I think it might have been a holiday romance, 436 00:28:59,281 --> 00:29:04,501 because here on our track it's, it's... Well, let's be kind, 437 00:29:04,541 --> 00:29:15,925 let's say difficult. 438 00:29:15,965 --> 00:29:20,833 Remember, I've got more power than the Ferrari Enzo. 439 00:29:20,873 --> 00:29:27,301 Oh, my God. Come on! Get in a straight line! 440 00:29:27,341 --> 00:29:30,429 I may have more firepower, but trying to keep up with the Audi 441 00:29:30,469 --> 00:29:34,925 is like trying to win the Grand National whilst riding a lion, 442 00:29:34,965 --> 00:29:38,893 that's made out of teeth and jelly. 443 00:29:38,933 --> 00:29:42,221 It sort of wobbles about and then if you're not careful, 444 00:29:42,261 --> 00:29:45,085 it bites your arm off. Aaahh! 445 00:29:45,125 --> 00:29:48,833 Oh, no! I'm gone! 446 00:29:48,873 --> 00:29:53,165 The thing is, though, despite the waywardness and the terrible danger, 447 00:29:53,205 --> 00:29:57,021 the Corvette is more fun. 448 00:29:57,061 --> 00:30:01,833 It's disintegrating already, I'm being strangled by my own seatbelt 449 00:30:01,873 --> 00:30:09,273 and the end's come off! Get on! 450 00:30:09,313 --> 00:30:13,177 Be in no doubt, then - the Audi is a better car. 451 00:30:13,217 --> 00:30:16,133 It's better built, better to look at, better to drive, 452 00:30:16,173 --> 00:30:19,849 more comfortable, easier to park, and, in the real world, 453 00:30:19,889 --> 00:30:23,509 faster. 454 00:30:23,549 --> 00:30:27,381 You'd have to be bonkers to buy the Corvette. 455 00:30:27,421 --> 00:30:36,053 And that is why you should. 456 00:30:36,093 --> 00:30:39,477 APPLAUSE 457 00:30:39,517 --> 00:30:42,149 It's that exclamation mark that says everything about that car. 458 00:30:42,189 --> 00:30:44,289 You want Sport Mode?! Sport Mode! 459 00:30:44,329 --> 00:30:46,817 Sport Mode! 460 00:30:46,857 --> 00:30:49,177 Oh, now, ah-ha... 461 00:30:49,217 --> 00:30:51,445 I have got an apology to make. 462 00:30:51,485 --> 00:30:55,365 I said in that film that the Audi's - trip computer was broken. 463 00:30:55,405 --> 00:30:59,401 It isn't, OK? It turned out I hadn't pressed the reset button properly. 464 00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:00,965 LAUGHTER 465 00:31:01,005 --> 00:31:03,525 We did actually ring Audi to confess to what he'd done, 466 00:31:03,565 --> 00:31:07,805 but it was too late. The man responsible had...shot himself. 467 00:31:07,845 --> 00:31:09,649 Yeah. He had. 468 00:31:09,689 --> 00:31:16,177 Anyway, it's now time to put both cars in the hands of our tame racing driver. 469 00:31:16,217 --> 00:31:21,149 Some say that he has some terrible plans involving the moon... 470 00:31:21,189 --> 00:31:22,993 LAUGHTER 471 00:31:23,033 --> 00:31:27,461 ..and that he was turned down for a place on I'm A Celebrity because he IS one. 472 00:31:27,501 --> 00:31:30,713 LAUGHTER 473 00:31:30,753 --> 00:31:32,853 All we know is... he's called The Stig! 474 00:31:32,893 --> 00:31:35,333 CHEERING 475 00:31:35,373 --> 00:31:38,085 They're off! A genuinely interesting battle, this, 476 00:31:38,125 --> 00:31:41,213 because the Corvette is faster in a straight line, 477 00:31:41,253 --> 00:31:43,305 but it needs an extraordinary talent 478 00:31:43,345 --> 00:31:46,649 to get it round corners without crashing. 479 00:31:46,689 --> 00:31:48,229 Look at that. 480 00:31:48,269 --> 00:31:49,821 And there is the talent. 481 00:31:49,861 --> 00:31:53,461 MUSIC: "When I'm Cleaning Windows" 482 00:31:53,501 --> 00:31:57,805 Oh dear, Stig continues to make each lap into a Cockney knees-up. 483 00:31:57,845 --> 00:32:01,309 Ooh, did you see that? Weirdly, it's the Audi going sideways. 484 00:32:01,349 --> 00:32:04,493 Through Chicago. What'll happen in Hammerhead? 485 00:32:04,533 --> 00:32:08,053 Let's have a look here. 486 00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:11,213 Again it's the four-wheel drive R8 that's out of shape. 487 00:32:11,253 --> 00:32:14,053 The 'Vette in the Stig's talented paws clinging on. 488 00:32:14,093 --> 00:32:16,025 A wiggle on the way out, but that's it. 489 00:32:16,065 --> 00:32:20,089 MUSIC CONTINUES 490 00:32:20,129 --> 00:32:21,977 Right. Follow-through - 491 00:32:22,017 --> 00:32:25,541 this is where the Corvette's super-charged V8 492 00:32:25,581 --> 00:32:27,885 can really deliver some shock and awe. 493 00:32:27,925 --> 00:32:29,901 The tyres - they are both quick through there. 494 00:32:29,941 --> 00:32:32,773 It's the in-bred lunatic versus a car with no sense of humour, 495 00:32:32,813 --> 00:32:35,201 and they're pretty much neck-and-neck, just Gambon to go. 496 00:32:35,241 --> 00:32:39,697 Both sigh through there, and they cross the line. 497 00:32:39,737 --> 00:32:42,977 And now we have the times... APPLAUSE 498 00:32:43,017 --> 00:32:45,133 Audi. 499 00:32:45,173 --> 00:32:46,853 The Audi first? 500 00:32:46,893 --> 00:32:52,949 It did it in 1:21.6, which puts it... That's for the Audi. 501 00:32:52,989 --> 00:32:58,013 1:21.6? That was sort of a damp-ish- lap, as well. That's quick, OK. 502 00:32:58,053 --> 00:33:02,921 However, Corvette did it in 1:20.4. - What?! 503 00:33:02,961 --> 00:33:07,045 No... But the thing is, I reckon you or I could get the Audi round 504 00:33:07,085 --> 00:33:09,841 in roughly that time, OK? 505 00:33:09,881 --> 00:33:13,965 But there's no way we could make the Corvette go round in that. - Literally, I would 506 00:33:14,005 --> 00:33:18,405 be five minutes dead. ..AND dead. Five minutes AND dead is what it would be. 507 00:33:18,445 --> 00:33:22,433 Anyway, now it is time to put a star in our reasonably-priced car, 508 00:33:22,473 --> 00:33:24,889 and my guest tonight is an actor. 509 00:33:24,929 --> 00:33:28,573 He has played Kenneth Williams, who is no longer with us, 510 00:33:28,613 --> 00:33:31,417 he's played Brian Clough, who's no longer with us, 511 00:33:31,457 --> 00:33:33,529 and he's played Tony Blair, who, um... 512 00:33:33,569 --> 00:33:35,793 LAUGHTER 513 00:33:35,833 --> 00:33:37,777 ..IS still with us. 514 00:33:37,817 --> 00:33:39,733 Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Sheen! 515 00:33:39,773 --> 00:33:43,293 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 516 00:33:43,333 --> 00:33:45,325 How are you? 517 00:33:45,365 --> 00:33:49,717 Have a seat. Lovely. 518 00:33:49,757 --> 00:33:52,529 I thought you were going to look like Tony Blair. 519 00:33:52,569 --> 00:33:55,213 I... It's my day off today. Cos it's weird - 520 00:33:55,253 --> 00:33:58,825 when I watched The Queen, obviously when you WERE Tony Blair, 521 00:33:58,865 --> 00:34:03,513 I remember thinking, "God, they did very well to find an actor - who looks so like him." 522 00:34:03,553 --> 00:34:05,261 But you're much better looking! 523 00:34:05,301 --> 00:34:06,889 LAUGHTER 524 00:34:06,929 --> 00:34:09,341 It's not hard, is it? Do people think you're going to look like him? 525 00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:12,621 In America people think I'm a Tony Blair look-alike, yeah. 526 00:34:12,661 --> 00:34:16,249 But you're not. I don't do work as a Tony Blair look-alike, 527 00:34:16,289 --> 00:34:19,341 although I do have look-alikes in my family. 528 00:34:19,381 --> 00:34:21,469 My dad is a Jack Nicholson look-alike. Is he? 529 00:34:21,509 --> 00:34:24,157 He is indeed. Cos I was looking back at your family history 530 00:34:24,197 --> 00:34:27,185 and it was all very weird, because nobody's done anything conventional 531 00:34:27,225 --> 00:34:30,077 since the dawn of human history... That's true. 532 00:34:30,117 --> 00:34:35,529 Your great-grandmother was... She was the first elephant and lion- tamer in Barnum & Bailey Circus. 533 00:34:35,569 --> 00:34:37,545 Right...! LAUGHTER 534 00:34:37,585 --> 00:34:43,797 Her name was Nanny Blower, and God bless her, she was talented, but she wasn't a looker. 535 00:34:43,837 --> 00:34:48,001 She had her left breast mauled off by a lion, and the claw of that lion 536 00:34:48,041 --> 00:34:50,421 is on a chain somewhere in our family. 537 00:34:50,461 --> 00:34:52,361 Seriously? Yeah. 538 00:34:52,401 --> 00:34:55,533 And it's at this point you go, "And we have that lion for you now!" 539 00:34:55,573 --> 00:34:58,673 I wish I'd known. I would have looked into it. 540 00:34:58,713 --> 00:35:03,205 There was your... Not grandfather... Great-grandfather. Who was the one who got drunk a lot? 541 00:35:03,245 --> 00:35:08,141 Yeah, my great grandfather was a bit of a waster in the town, in Port Talbot, 542 00:35:08,181 --> 00:35:12,517 and the story goes that he was lying in the gutter one night, having been chucked out of the pub, 543 00:35:12,557 --> 00:35:16,985 and the moon appeared through the clouds, and God spoke to him through the moon and said, 544 00:35:17,025 --> 00:35:22,517 "You must mend your ways. Save up money and buy the disused tin mine in the mountain." So from then on 545 00:35:22,557 --> 00:35:26,125 he never touched another drink and he saved his money. Everyone thought he was mad 546 00:35:26,165 --> 00:35:29,517 cos there was no tin left. They discovered a new vein of tin, 547 00:35:29,557 --> 00:35:33,877 he became the richest man in Port Talbot and became a street preacher from then on. 548 00:35:33,917 --> 00:35:37,365 This is fantastic. Then your dad was a Jack Nicholson impersonator... 549 00:35:37,405 --> 00:35:40,969 A Jack Nicholson look-alike, not an impersonator. Look-alike. There is a difference. 550 00:35:41,009 --> 00:35:44,517 He's a genetic freak, not a talented actor. 551 00:35:44,557 --> 00:35:46,577 LAUGHTER 552 00:35:46,617 --> 00:35:51,613 And now you're Tony Blair and David Frost... And Kenneth Williams - and Brian Clough. 553 00:35:51,653 --> 00:35:53,453 This is... Can I just, 554 00:35:53,493 --> 00:35:57,005 first of all, can I just take a moment to congratulate you on Frost/Nixon. 555 00:35:57,045 --> 00:35:59,549 That was amazing. Thank you very much. Rocky is what it was. 556 00:35:59,589 --> 00:36:03,705 It was Rocky for interviewers. Instead of fighting, it was interviewing Nixon. 557 00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:05,937 Brilliant film, I adored that. 558 00:36:05,977 --> 00:36:11,393 And I was just wondering, why do you choose parts predominantly 559 00:36:11,433 --> 00:36:14,365 Now, the new film, Twilight - it's New Moon, isn't it, from the Twilight series? 560 00:36:14,405 --> 00:36:16,453 which you did this presumably because you've got a 10-year-old daughter. 561 00:36:16,493 --> 00:36:20,285 Yes. I have a 10-year-old daughter who is obsessed with the books. As have I. 562 00:36:20,325 --> 00:36:24,501 Completely besotted. And I always say to her, "What are they about?" 563 00:36:24,669 --> 00:36:29,093 rl, 564 00:36:29,133 --> 00:36:33,349 "and she's in love with a werewolf, but she was..." and I say, "What are you reading?!" 565 00:36:33,389 --> 00:36:36,425 It's sort of this great love story, - it seems, 566 00:36:36,465 --> 00:36:41,409 and also, you know, they sort of tap into something about... 567 00:36:41,449 --> 00:36:45,085 particularly a teenage girl's experience growing up. 568 00:36:45,125 --> 00:36:47,909 So you're a v... I am a vampire. 569 00:36:47,949 --> 00:36:50,253 So was it Peter Mandelson this time - you modelled it on? 570 00:36:50,293 --> 00:36:53,445 Yes, absolutely, completely modelled it on Peter Mandelson. 571 00:36:53,485 --> 00:37:00,973 Now, cars - you spend a lot of time- living there in Los Angeles, 572 00:37:01,013 --> 00:37:29,725 so I would assume you have some form of hybrid. 573 00:37:29,765 --> 00:37:30,413 It 574 00:37:30,453 --> 00:37:30,613 It was 575 00:37:30,653 --> 00:37:35,129 It was a 576 00:37:35,169 --> 00:37:39,941 It was a Datsun Sunny and a Ford Orion. I am not one who spends a 577 00:37:39,981 --> 00:37:45,193 lot of money on cars. You spend a lot of time in Los Angeles. I would 578 00:37:45,233 --> 00:37:54,209 have assumed you would have some form of hybrid. No, not really. 579 00:37:54,249 --> 00:38:04,349 There is a lot of pressure. It is the way for a. It is. I am going to 580 00:38:04,389 --> 00:38:09,273 get a Jaguar. -- the way forward. I'd like to get a green one. 581 00:38:09,313 --> 00:38:11,661 So when you go on American chat shows and they say, "You got a hybrid?" 582 00:38:11,701 --> 00:38:13,349 You can say, "No, I have a Jag." "I have a Ja-a-ag." 583 00:38:13,389 --> 00:38:14,833 So what do you use in England? 584 00:38:14,873 --> 00:38:16,569 I nip around London on a scooter. 585 00:38:16,609 --> 00:38:18,629 I once rode one of those across Vietnam. It tried to kill me. 586 00:38:18,669 --> 00:38:20,709 Did you ever fall off? They're fantastic. In fact, 587 00:38:20,749 --> 00:38:25,225 when I first got the scooter, it was just before I started playing Kenneth Williams 588 00:38:25,265 --> 00:38:27,585 in this film I did, Fantabulosa! 589 00:38:27,625 --> 00:38:31,209 And I was desperately trying to lose as much weight as I possibly could to play him, 590 00:38:31,249 --> 00:38:34,493 so I went on the cabbage soup diet for the last ten days. Which is great, 591 00:38:34,533 --> 00:38:38,973 I lost ten pounds, but I did used to lose consciousness as well. - I was so faint. 592 00:38:39,013 --> 00:38:42,693 So I was driving around on this scooter around London, 593 00:38:42,733 --> 00:38:47,165 which was scary enough as it was, but I was also constantly farting. 594 00:38:47,205 --> 00:38:49,005 My stomach was making terrible noises, 595 00:38:49,045 --> 00:38:51,165 and whilst I used to drive it I used to practise the voice, 596 00:38:51,205 --> 00:38:56,445 so if anyone saw an Aprilia going past them around the Clapham area 597 00:38:56,485 --> 00:39:00,973 with a slightly sepia-looking visor- and a smell coming behind it 598 00:39:01,013 --> 00:39:04,773 and a voice going "mrr-rr-rr-rr" as it was going along, that was me. 599 00:39:04,813 --> 00:39:06,965 Did you ever fall off it? 600 00:39:07,005 --> 00:39:08,509 No, I never fell off it. 601 00:39:08,549 --> 00:39:11,761 I kept the stabilisers on, obviously. 602 00:39:11,801 --> 00:39:14,853 Anyway, obviously you came here, I have to say, 603 00:39:14,893 --> 00:39:17,537 Los Angeles, THIS morning... 604 00:39:17,577 --> 00:39:20,165 I came from the airport straight here and into the car. 605 00:39:20,205 --> 00:39:23,009 So you're... Well, what are we, ten hours out... Yeah. 606 00:39:23,049 --> 00:39:24,945 I have no idea what time... 607 00:39:24,985 --> 00:39:28,525 I'll tell you what time it is. It's - 6:30am, so it's time you were up. 608 00:39:28,565 --> 00:39:31,557 I think there should be a new category, which is, instead of just "W" for "wet", 609 00:39:31,597 --> 00:39:33,213 there should be "JL" for jet lag. Jet lag. And I believe... Was it damp out there as well? 610 00:39:33,253 --> 00:39:37,933 It was damp-ish. 611 00:39:37,973 --> 00:39:42,257 So that's jet-lagged and damp. And there were people shooting bows and arrows. 612 00:39:42,297 --> 00:39:45,933 Shooting bows and arrows. Many, many things we have to write down. Many. 613 00:39:45,973 --> 00:39:49,741 Jet-lagged, damp, bows and arrows. And I'm Welsh. And you're Welsh. 614 00:39:49,781 --> 00:39:51,413 LAUGHTER 615 00:39:51,453 --> 00:39:53,509 In fact, who are the other Welsh people on there? 616 00:39:53,549 --> 00:39:56,181 Have I got a chance of being top Welshman? 617 00:39:56,221 --> 00:39:59,229 Alan Davies, is he Welsh? Or does he just have a name... He's not Welsh. 618 00:39:59,269 --> 00:40:03,665 Rob Brydon. Rob Brydon - where's he? 619 00:40:03,705 --> 00:40:08,025 Tom Jones. It would be good to beat - Dame Helen Mirren, wouldn't it? 620 00:40:08,065 --> 00:40:12,509 She's here. Tom Jones did. Tom Jones is on top of Helen Mirren, not for the first time! 621 00:40:12,549 --> 00:40:14,949 There's Rob Brydon, just below Keith Allen. 622 00:40:14,989 --> 00:40:18,665 This is kind of Little Wales, here, this area. So this is where you're aiming for. 623 00:40:18,705 --> 00:40:23,009 I want to be the fastest boy in the village. 624 00:40:23,049 --> 00:40:25,133 That's Little Britain. I've just got that. 625 00:40:25,173 --> 00:40:27,869 I'm there! See, even jet-lagged, I'm on form, Jeremy! 626 00:40:27,909 --> 00:40:29,133 LAUGHTER 627 00:40:29,173 --> 00:40:30,413 Who'd like to see the lap? 628 00:40:30,453 --> 00:40:33,089 ALL: Yeah! Let's have a look at this. 629 00:40:33,129 --> 00:40:34,949 Oh, dear Lord... 630 00:40:34,989 --> 00:40:45,133 TYRES SCREECH 631 00:40:45,173 --> 00:40:47,325 Nice, smooth gear change. 'He's really ruined that.' 632 00:40:47,365 --> 00:40:49,073 So here we go, coming up to the first corner... Ooh, I say, 633 00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:51,493 that's a vigorous turn in there. 634 00:40:51,533 --> 00:40:56,045 Right, so we're not going for the smooth approach. 635 00:40:56,085 --> 00:40:57,965 Brake, you BLEEP, brake! 636 00:40:58,005 --> 00:40:59,841 LAUGHTER 637 00:40:59,881 --> 00:41:02,201 I like the hands on the wheel there. That's wide! 638 00:41:02,241 --> 00:41:04,809 This really is... 639 00:41:04,849 --> 00:41:07,933 Don't go into fourth, Michael, go into second, try that! 640 00:41:07,973 --> 00:41:11,841 Well, one'll do! No, you're supposed to LOOK slow, 641 00:41:11,881 --> 00:41:16,089 so that you're actually... That's not looking slow. 642 00:41:16,129 --> 00:41:18,089 That's looking wide again. 643 00:41:18,129 --> 00:41:19,885 The Stig did say, well, he communicated... 644 00:41:19,925 --> 00:41:22,653 Textbook. Absolute textbook. 645 00:41:22,693 --> 00:41:24,337 LAUGHTER 646 00:41:24,377 --> 00:41:26,561 That's not what The Stig said. He said "clunky". 647 00:41:26,601 --> 00:41:30,433 "Clunky but brave" is how he described you. Clunky but brave! 648 00:41:30,473 --> 00:41:33,997 It's not healthy, that's not healthy, Michael! 649 00:41:34,037 --> 00:41:35,541 Looking very Welsh. 650 00:41:35,581 --> 00:41:37,029 That's pretty quick! 651 00:41:37,069 --> 00:41:38,561 Oh-oh! Yes! 652 00:41:38,601 --> 00:41:40,057 Now you go... Look... 653 00:41:40,097 --> 00:41:42,185 Holy cow, that's quick! 654 00:41:42,225 --> 00:41:43,933 That's very quick! 655 00:41:43,973 --> 00:41:45,261 Now, what about Gambon? 656 00:41:45,301 --> 00:41:46,589 Bloody hell, look at that! 657 00:41:46,629 --> 00:41:49,873 And across the line! That was amazing. 658 00:41:49,913 --> 00:41:55,389 CHEERING 659 00:41:55,429 --> 00:42:02,137 I have here... Mm, mm, mm-mm-mm mm-mm-mm... LAUGHTER 660 00:42:02,177 --> 00:42:04,981 If it's under Roger Bannister's mile, I'll be happy. 661 00:42:05,021 --> 00:42:06,921 Under four minutes. 662 00:42:06,961 --> 00:42:10,545 So you want to be somewhere down... - The top of the Welsh zone. 663 00:42:10,585 --> 00:42:15,373 It would be nice if I was, you know, above Helen, and I would love it if I was above Rob. 664 00:42:15,413 --> 00:42:20,109 So they're all around the one... Rob's 1:51.7, but that was wet. 665 00:42:20,149 --> 00:42:23,829 Michael Sheen, you did it in one minute... 666 00:42:23,869 --> 00:42:25,293 Yes... 667 00:42:25,333 --> 00:42:27,213 ..forty... 668 00:42:27,253 --> 00:42:30,249 ..six, point three. 669 00:42:30,289 --> 00:42:32,309 Good Lord! 670 00:42:32,349 --> 00:42:35,421 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 671 00:42:36,557 --> 00:42:37,829 Seriously. 672 00:42:37,869 --> 00:42:39,421 How did that happen? 673 00:42:39,461 --> 00:42:41,361 That was a brave lap. 674 00:42:41,401 --> 00:42:43,313 Gordon Ramsay just committed suicide. 675 00:42:43,353 --> 00:42:45,749 I'm sort of mystified. 676 00:42:45,789 --> 00:42:50,389 That was very fast. You can see it, - cos you were doing a million down the straight. 677 00:42:50,429 --> 00:42:52,485 I heard that Tom Jones didn't want to come in, 678 00:42:52,525 --> 00:42:55,093 and it must be something Welsh, cos I didn't want to stop, 679 00:42:55,133 --> 00:42:59,577 I wanted to keep going. I could have beaten Jay Kay. Help yourself! 680 00:42:59,617 --> 00:43:01,845 There's still 20 minutes of daylight left. 681 00:43:01,885 --> 00:43:04,701 Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Sheen! 682 00:43:04,741 --> 00:43:07,437 Thank you very much. 683 00:43:07,477 --> 00:43:15,329 Thank you very much. 684 00:43:15,369 --> 00:43:20,341 Now, earlier on, we built an electric car called Geoff, 685 00:43:20,381 --> 00:43:23,081 and he was...a disaster. 686 00:43:23,121 --> 00:43:25,217 Now, I'm not one to apportion blame, 687 00:43:25,257 --> 00:43:27,813 but it was entirely James' fault. 688 00:43:27,853 --> 00:43:29,625 Why? 689 00:43:29,665 --> 00:43:32,441 Well, because...Jeremy's body was brilliant... 690 00:43:32,481 --> 00:43:35,893 Er, not Jeremy's actual body, cos that's horrible. 691 00:43:35,933 --> 00:43:38,013 The one on the car. My chassis was brilliant, 692 00:43:38,053 --> 00:43:42,005 and your battery system was terrible. Well, it wasn't! Well... 693 00:43:42,045 --> 00:43:46,329 it was. And, as a result, Geoff ended up crashed into a wood. 694 00:43:46,369 --> 00:43:49,061 We didn't give up. We decided to go back to the drawing board, 695 00:43:49,101 --> 00:43:53,501 and build Geoff II. 696 00:43:53,541 --> 00:43:59,877 Back at the Top Gear Technology Centre, I fitted narrower wheels which would reduce friction. 697 00:43:59,917 --> 00:44:04,221 And James, mercifully, found some more batteries. 698 00:44:04,261 --> 00:44:07,205 I've also devised a very, very clever way 699 00:44:07,245 --> 00:44:12,017 of recharging them while we're on the move. 700 00:44:12,057 --> 00:44:15,329 Meanwhile, in the mood room, Jeremy had decided 701 00:44:15,369 --> 00:44:19,049 Geoff should no longer be called Geoff. 702 00:44:19,089 --> 00:44:20,989 Hammerhead. 703 00:44:21,029 --> 00:44:24,285 Hammerhead Shark. That's a dolphin. 704 00:44:24,325 --> 00:44:26,253 I know, but it's like a hammerhead shark. 705 00:44:26,293 --> 00:44:28,629 Not really. It lives in the sea. Yeah... 706 00:44:28,669 --> 00:44:32,501 I'll tell you the other thing we've got to have, is the letter I. 707 00:44:32,541 --> 00:44:35,425 Why? Because if you put little i, not capital I, 708 00:44:35,465 --> 00:44:37,253 little i with a little dot on it, 709 00:44:37,293 --> 00:44:40,005 it tells everyone who sees it that it's eco, 710 00:44:40,045 --> 00:44:45,189 and that's OK. Doesn't. It does, cos ecomentalists are stupid. 711 00:44:45,229 --> 00:44:54,645 After many days of development, ournew, improved car was finally ready. 712 00:44:54,685 --> 00:44:57,785 But Jeremy, you haven't done anything. 713 00:44:57,825 --> 00:44:59,725 You can't improve on perfection. 714 00:44:59,765 --> 00:45:02,221 Anyway, I have done something. Look. 715 00:45:02,261 --> 00:45:04,645 An energy-absorbing front end. 716 00:45:04,685 --> 00:45:08,053 You can have massive accidents and no damage will be caused. 717 00:45:08,093 --> 00:45:10,473 You could run this into a wood at top speed - 718 00:45:10,513 --> 00:45:12,833 nothing would happen. 719 00:45:12,873 --> 00:45:17,473 Then James unveiled his radical new propulsion system. 720 00:45:17,513 --> 00:45:23,833 Look at this! Batteries as before. But a few more of them for extra power. Here's the clever bit. 721 00:45:23,873 --> 00:45:29,085 They're recharged by that. That is a diesel generator. 722 00:45:29,125 --> 00:45:32,909 That charges the batteries? Yeah. that a generator just from a shop? 723 00:45:32,949 --> 00:45:38,961 Yeah. So, we've made a hybrid?! Yeah, sort of! No, because a hybrid - uses a normal engine 724 00:45:39,001 --> 00:45:43,005 that drives the wheels. A hybrid is - a normal car for fools. 725 00:45:43,045 --> 00:45:49,661 This just charges the battery. a diesel electric. I got the idea from old railway locomotives. 726 00:45:49,701 --> 00:45:54,849 So you just run the generator. means that you'll never run out electricity. Exactly. Yeah. 727 00:45:54,889 --> 00:45:58,053 Uses a tiny amount of fuel. 728 00:45:58,093 --> 00:46:03,037 Yeah! Seriously, credit where credit's due! That's not something you hear often on Top Gear. 729 00:46:03,077 --> 00:46:07,525 Or ever, even! That's actually quite a good idea. Thank you. 730 00:46:07,565 --> 00:46:11,053 And this will go like stink. 731 00:46:11,093 --> 00:46:28,849 And it did! 732 00:46:28,889 --> 00:46:32,253 Well, that's brilliant! It's a hybrid! We've built a Prius! 733 00:46:32,293 --> 00:46:34,741 You don't think the producers are messing with the subtitles, do you? 734 00:46:34,781 --> 00:46:37,973 No! They wouldn't do that! 735 00:46:38,013 --> 00:46:42,101 Since our amazing Eagle i Thrust Head had cost £1,000 less 736 00:46:42,141 --> 00:46:45,477 than a G-Wiz, we decided it was brilliant, 737 00:46:45,517 --> 00:46:49,585 and that we should put it on sale to the general public. 738 00:46:49,625 --> 00:46:56,197 However, before you can do that, it must pass a series of stringent EU tests. 739 00:46:56,237 --> 00:46:59,681 So we took the Eagle Thrust to the motor industry's top secret 740 00:46:59,721 --> 00:47:08,273 proving ground, just off the A5 between Atherstone and Hinckley near Fenny Drayton. 741 00:47:08,313 --> 00:47:12,229 When we get out, remember, be positive, be positive! Yes! Positive! 742 00:47:12,269 --> 00:47:14,973 Everyone's a customer! 743 00:47:15,013 --> 00:47:19,477 We started with one of the biggies. - A crash test. 744 00:47:19,517 --> 00:47:22,509 We've all seen these. A car is loaded up with dummies 745 00:47:22,549 --> 00:47:26,305 and fired into a concrete block, whilst super slow motion cameras 746 00:47:26,345 --> 00:47:32,945 record the impact. 747 00:47:32,985 --> 00:47:38,229 I, however, am so confident about the Hammerhead-i Eagle Thrust, 748 00:47:38,269 --> 00:47:42,993 that we will be using a different sort of dummy. 749 00:47:43,033 --> 00:47:45,977 Don't worry, we're coming as well. 750 00:47:46,017 --> 00:47:48,821 There you go. Done. Can you paint one on my face? 751 00:47:48,861 --> 00:47:53,461 Why do crash test dummies have these things? I don't know. 752 00:47:53,501 --> 00:47:58,085 For the slow motion camera that records the impact. It gives you a datum point. 753 00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:01,541 Oh, I'm not interested in datum points... I didn't think it was fashion amongst crash test dummies. 754 00:48:01,581 --> 00:48:04,133 Are you sure about your new bumper design? Yeah. 755 00:48:04,173 --> 00:48:06,605 Thank you very much. 756 00:48:06,645 --> 00:48:12,589 Hang on. 757 00:48:12,629 --> 00:48:14,413 We were a bit frightened 758 00:48:14,453 --> 00:48:16,789 when we saw the concrete crash block, 759 00:48:16,829 --> 00:48:19,841 because we had to crash into it at 30mph. 760 00:48:19,881 --> 00:48:22,741 But then Jeremy had a brainwave. 761 00:48:22,781 --> 00:48:25,557 Remember what I told you. 762 00:48:25,597 --> 00:48:28,325 It's a very, very good plan this. 763 00:48:28,365 --> 00:48:37,481 OK. Now, let's see the slow motion crash footage. 764 00:48:37,521 --> 00:48:42,901 We're going to cra-a-a-a-sh. 765 00:48:42,941 --> 00:48:47,461 767 00:48:52,005 --> 00:48:56,809 Ohhhhhh! 768 00:48:56,849 --> 00:48:58,337 Ohhhhhh! 769 00:48:58,377 --> 00:49:04,653 Ow...my...chest. 770 00:49:04,693 --> 00:49:09,213 Do you think we fooled them? Yeah! Yeah. We're alive! We're alive! Wow! 771 00:49:09,253 --> 00:49:11,169 We sur... That was... 772 00:49:11,209 --> 00:49:14,541 It's not even marked! Oh, man, that was, oh...! Staggering! 773 00:49:14,581 --> 00:49:17,965 I think this is very convincing. 774 00:49:18,005 --> 00:49:25,589 Shush, shush, OK, it's now time to watch that crash at the speed it actually happened. 775 00:49:25,629 --> 00:49:27,949 We're going to crash! 776 00:49:27,989 --> 00:49:29,765 Ooh! Oh, my nose! 777 00:49:29,805 --> 00:49:33,949 Oh! Oh! Ow, my chest! 778 00:49:33,989 --> 00:49:38,793 And there we are, a superb result in the crash test. 779 00:49:38,833 --> 00:49:43,889 So, let's move on, shall we and do...the pendulum test! 780 00:49:43,929 --> 00:49:46,697 This is designed to measure how a car will stand up 781 00:49:46,737 --> 00:49:55,261 to being side-swiped by a bus or a truck. 782 00:49:55,301 --> 00:50:01,293 Frankly, it was hard to see how we could possible pass this, but then James came up with a plan. 783 00:50:01,333 --> 00:50:04,545 We need a camera. Yeah. 784 00:50:04,585 --> 00:50:08,765 A plan that would fool even the most astute EU bureaucrat. 785 00:50:08,805 --> 00:50:13,949 Action! Wow! Wow! Wow! THEY LAUGH 786 00:50:13,989 --> 00:50:16,233 Pendulum! 787 00:50:16,273 --> 00:50:18,169 TOU KOOL! 788 00:50:18,209 --> 00:50:26,281 Oh, right. So, now our car is going - to face the fearsome pendulum test. 789 00:50:26,321 --> 00:50:28,965 SPEECH IS REVERSED 790 00:50:29,005 --> 00:50:31,669 PENDULUM CLANGS 791 00:50:31,709 --> 00:50:34,573 Wow! Wow! Wow! 792 00:50:34,613 --> 00:50:39,249 Wow indeed! Another pass! And happy - that our car was completely safe, 793 00:50:39,289 --> 00:50:42,593 we lined it up for a drag race. 794 00:50:42,633 --> 00:50:49,889 We would be up against a Toyota Prius. 795 00:50:49,929 --> 00:50:51,777 Chris Hoy's next-door neighbour. 796 00:50:51,817 --> 00:50:55,389 Hannah...the fastest girl in our office. 797 00:50:55,429 --> 00:50:59,517 And our main rival, the G-Wiz. 798 00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:04,125 This was the quietest starting line - in drag racing history. 799 00:51:04,165 --> 00:51:06,981 ENGINE STARTS 800 00:51:07,021 --> 00:51:08,953 Until Hammond started the generator. 801 00:51:08,993 --> 00:51:13,293 OK, this is it! The future is here! 802 00:51:13,333 --> 00:51:19,469 Three, two, one! 803 00:51:19,509 --> 00:51:23,081 Did he jump the start? No. 804 00:51:23,121 --> 00:51:26,361 I am so in the lead, straight away! 805 00:51:26,401 --> 00:51:30,389 Oh! The Toyota's gone! 806 00:51:30,429 --> 00:51:34,005 Where's the G-Wiz? I am all over it! 807 00:51:34,045 --> 00:51:38,205 Come on! 808 00:51:38,245 --> 00:51:41,645 This is brilliant! I'm going to win, - I'm going to win! 809 00:51:41,685 --> 00:51:49,845 Yes! Yes! Yes! 810 00:51:49,885 --> 00:51:52,237 JEREMY LAUGHS Yes! 811 00:51:52,277 --> 00:51:54,157 He beat the G-Wiz! By a mile! 812 00:51:54,197 --> 00:51:55,749 He beat the G-Wiz! 813 00:51:55,789 --> 00:51:57,893 And as ever, Hammond was gracious in victory! 814 00:51:57,933 --> 00:52:00,577 Yeah! Ha, ha, ha, ha! 815 00:52:00,617 --> 00:52:01,957 Oh, yeah! 816 00:52:01,997 --> 00:52:03,597 What do you think of that, then? 817 00:52:03,637 --> 00:52:07,845 With your stupid little plastic gerbil! 818 00:52:07,885 --> 00:52:11,421 Next we had to drive on the fearsome Belgian Pave, 819 00:52:11,461 --> 00:52:15,421 in a test designed to measure both comfort and build quality. 820 00:52:15,461 --> 00:52:17,285 VEHICLE CLANGS ALONG 821 00:52:17,325 --> 00:52:19,861 THEY SHOUT WITH DISCOMFORT 822 00:52:19,901 --> 00:52:22,297 Oh! Haw, haw, haw! 823 00:52:22,337 --> 00:52:28,113 The chassis is smashing into the ground. It's his generator weighs too much for my suspension. 824 00:52:28,153 --> 00:52:30,189 Ow! 825 00:52:30,229 --> 00:52:33,769 James! What?! The chimney's come off! 826 00:52:33,809 --> 00:52:36,689 Oh! Oh! That's quite... 827 00:52:36,729 --> 00:52:38,881 Quite a lot of smoke in here! 828 00:52:38,921 --> 00:52:42,521 THEY COUGH It's all collecting in my Pope box! 829 00:52:42,561 --> 00:52:44,801 VEHICLE CLANGS AND CLANKS Ow! 830 00:52:44,841 --> 00:52:48,533 But we're still going! 831 00:52:48,573 --> 00:52:50,957 Yeah, we're hammering now! 832 00:52:50,997 --> 00:52:53,597 Ow! 833 00:52:53,637 --> 00:52:56,141 Oh! Has one of the doors fallen off? 834 00:52:56,181 --> 00:52:59,333 No! No? Well then we passed! I think we have. 835 00:52:59,373 --> 00:53:05,285 It's an EU regulation. Is it? It actually says if the doors are on after doing this, 836 00:53:05,325 --> 00:53:10,645 then you've passed! Well, they're still on! 837 00:53:10,685 --> 00:53:14,769 Although we'd been a bit gassed, the torture wasn't over! 838 00:53:14,809 --> 00:53:19,709 So we re-attached the stove pipe and went to see how the Eagle i-Thrust 839 00:53:19,749 --> 00:53:23,253 would perform in the fearsome steep - hill test. 840 00:53:23,293 --> 00:53:27,881 OK, we're off! 841 00:53:27,921 --> 00:53:35,069 GRILLE CLANGS Come on! 842 00:53:35,109 --> 00:53:46,165 Come on. 843 00:53:46,205 --> 00:53:49,849 I think we've passed this! Yeah! Well done, everybody, that's good! 844 00:53:49,889 --> 00:53:52,145 Yeah, we've passed. I bet the G-Wiz wouldn't get up here. 845 00:53:52,185 --> 00:53:54,301 I bet it wouldn't! No! 846 00:53:54,341 --> 00:53:59,069 In the interest of fairness, we decided to see how the G-Wiz would get on. 847 00:53:59,109 --> 00:54:04,833 Using, of course, an independent test driver! 848 00:54:04,873 --> 00:54:07,629 Is he good, this guy? 849 00:54:07,669 --> 00:54:11,913 He's independent, that's the important thing. 850 00:54:11,953 --> 00:54:15,381 It's £1,000 more than our car, this. Hard to believe. 851 00:54:15,421 --> 00:54:18,553 Will it go 1,000 feet higher up this hill? Let's see! 852 00:54:18,593 --> 00:54:21,085 Oh! It... Uh... 853 00:54:21,125 --> 00:54:22,929 It's struggling! 854 00:54:22,969 --> 00:54:27,149 Now that's a failure! Yeah, there you go! Right there, that's a failure! 855 00:54:27,189 --> 00:54:34,005 The Ham Head Eagle i was sailing through every test the EU could throw at it! 856 00:54:34,045 --> 00:54:36,585 But then it was time to head to the wind tunnel 857 00:54:36,625 --> 00:54:41,457 where we could measure the aerodynamic efficiency of that body. 858 00:54:41,497 --> 00:54:45,989 Where's Hammond? I'll call him. 859 00:54:46,029 --> 00:54:48,853 Hello, lads. We gonna get on with this? THEY LAUGH 860 00:54:48,893 --> 00:54:52,273 Let's get going. What?! That works! What? What? Nothing! Nothing! 861 00:54:52,313 --> 00:54:55,133 Well come on, then, how does it work? I don't know. How hard can it be? 862 00:54:55,173 --> 00:54:58,885 Ready! FANS START 863 00:54:58,925 --> 00:55:02,993 FANS WHIRR Yes! Look at this! Oh, my God! 864 00:55:03,033 --> 00:55:07,245 There we go, 12. 13. Here we go. Look at the speed! 865 00:55:07,285 --> 00:55:15,681 28mph. I'm gonna take this baby up a bit! 866 00:55:15,721 --> 00:55:18,537 When the body work ripples like that, it does look beautiful. 867 00:55:18,577 --> 00:55:20,305 It looks like a fish! 868 00:55:20,345 --> 00:55:25,365 A really square fish with wooden ears. 869 00:55:25,405 --> 00:55:31,177 It's also moving. It's moving. Did you put the handbrake on? 870 00:55:31,217 --> 00:55:35,229 Now, that's... Stop it or it'll go in the fans! No, make it stop now! 871 00:55:35,269 --> 00:55:39,197 Stop! Stop it, Jeeves! Stop it! 872 00:55:39,237 --> 00:55:41,761 How do you stop the bloody fan?! 873 00:55:41,801 --> 00:55:45,605 CRASHING 874 00:55:45,645 --> 00:55:49,617 Despite the slight issue with the fans, we decided that our car had passed. 875 00:55:49,657 --> 00:55:53,525 So we moved on to what would be the final hurdle. 876 00:55:53,565 --> 00:55:56,121 The i-Ham would be driven round the clock, 877 00:55:56,161 --> 00:56:01,713 flat out on the proving ground's test track, to measure it's range. 878 00:56:01,753 --> 00:56:05,557 Obviously, in these conditions, it's damp, there's a bit of drizzle 879 00:56:05,597 --> 00:56:09,229 in the air. The concentration required to do this, 880 00:56:09,269 --> 00:56:15,229 is just immense! It's too demanding, we couldn't do that. No. But we know a man who can! 881 00:56:15,269 --> 00:56:19,821 He's not the Stig, but he is the Stig's vegetarian cousin. 882 00:56:19,861 --> 00:56:21,869 # All the leaves are brown 883 00:56:21,909 --> 00:56:26,805 # And the sky is grey 884 00:56:26,845 --> 00:56:30,073 # I've been for a walk... # 885 00:56:30,113 --> 00:56:36,841 What's he called? His name is...Janet Stig Porter. Oh! 886 00:56:36,881 --> 00:56:39,213 Right! Fire up that generator! 887 00:56:39,253 --> 00:56:42,637 ENGINE STARTS 888 00:56:42,677 --> 00:56:46,293 Go! 889 00:56:46,333 --> 00:56:52,917 Look at the speed of him. 890 00:56:52,957 --> 00:56:57,949 James, how long, realistically, are - you expecting that to keep going? 891 00:56:57,989 --> 00:57:00,917 Well, I've topped up the geni-tank,- so that's eight hours 892 00:57:00,957 --> 00:57:04,541 on the generator. And that fully charges the batteries as well, 893 00:57:04,581 --> 00:57:07,229 so you get another hour out of those, just the batteries. 894 00:57:07,269 --> 00:57:19,213 So realistically, you're looking for nine hours of running? Yeah. 895 00:57:19,253 --> 00:57:28,229 SIRENS WAIL 896 00:57:28,269 --> 00:57:32,229 What's happened there is... Well, the Stig's died. Yeah. 897 00:57:32,269 --> 00:57:34,745 And that's because the stove pipe came off. 898 00:57:34,785 --> 00:57:41,057 Now if we re-attach that stove I think I'm right in saying, am I not, gentlemen, 899 00:57:41,097 --> 00:57:48,325 that the Thrust i Eagle Hammer Head - is ready for its road test. Yes. It's ready. 900 00:57:48,365 --> 00:57:51,873 Obviously, we couldn't do that, because we'd be biased, 901 00:57:51,913 --> 00:57:58,605 so we decided to lend it to Britain's oldest motoring magazine for an independent review. 902 00:57:58,645 --> 00:58:02,153 They test all the latest cars and innovations and to make sure 903 00:58:02,193 --> 00:58:06,389 they didn't realise who were the brains behind the Eagle Head i Hammer, 904 00:58:06,429 --> 00:58:13,029 we had it dropped off by an anonymous driver. 905 00:58:13,069 --> 00:58:19,701 Hello, how can I help you? 906 00:58:19,741 --> 00:58:33,293 All we could do now was wait for their verdict. 907 00:58:33,333 --> 00:58:39,889 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 908 00:58:39,929 --> 00:58:47,217 Now, we have been sent advanced copies of the magazine that has reviewed our car. 909 00:58:47,257 --> 00:58:49,497 Here it is! HE GASPS 910 00:58:49,537 --> 00:58:52,701 We're on the cover! We're on the cover! 911 00:58:52,741 --> 00:58:56,137 We have! Right, where is it? 912 00:58:56,177 --> 00:59:04,389 The Eagle... Right, here we go! 913 00:59:04,429 --> 00:59:11,137 LAUGHTER 914 00:59:11,177 --> 00:59:17,829 Erm...it says in the ride and handling section where they deal with things like the chassis, 915 00:59:17,869 --> 00:59:23,013 that to all intents and purposes, the Hammer Head Eagle i-Thrust has no ride and handling as such, 916 00:59:23,053 --> 00:59:25,857 instead it lurches around almost uncontrollably. 917 00:59:25,897 --> 00:59:28,797 LAUGHTER 918 00:59:28,837 --> 00:59:32,593 Oh, God Almighty, no, it gets worse! Listen to this. 919 00:59:32,633 --> 00:59:36,985 They say that in the Highway Code, they say the stopping distance from - 70mph is 215 feet.