1
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:20,760
Hello, everybody. Hello. Thank you.

2
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:22,200
Hello!

3
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,520
Hello and welcome
to a Top Gear special,

4
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,520
which tonight comes to you
from South America.

5
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:32,360
Yeah. The brief was simple. Each
of us would be given a pittance.

6
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,560
And we were told we could
buy any car we liked

7
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,880
from a second-hand car
website in Bolivia.

8
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,040
Yeah. And the only bit of advice
we got, rather worryingly,

9
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,440
was that it would be best if we
chose a car with four-wheel drive.

10
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,080
We were then told we would
be united with our cars

11
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,000
somewhere around here in
a place called Spidertown,

12
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right in the middle
of the Amazon Rainforest.

13
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These are the views that
greeted us from our helicopter.

14
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Except they're not,

15
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because the helicopter
booked for us had crashed.

16
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That meant we had to
borrow these pictures

17
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,480
from Bruce Parry's programme...

18
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,480
..and go to the start
point in a boat...

19
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,360
utterly bewildered by everything.

20
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Look at that purple tree!
The butterfly's more amazing.

21
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No, the purple tree's the best. No!
The butterfly was the size of a bat.

22
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Another crocodile over there.

23
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It's not a crocodile,
it's a lump of wood.

24
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Bird! Bird!

25
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We're close to the Equator. We're
very close. Perhaps we're on it!

26
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No, we'd see a big dotted line.

27
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'And we weren't the only
fish out of water.'

28
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It jumped in the boat!
It jumped in the boat!

29
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In the boat!
I've got it with my knife!

30
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Ha-ha! Is that a piranha?

31
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,840
It's not a piranha,
they're long and thin.

32
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They're not! No, they're not!
They are! They're short and fat!

33
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,280
Oh, that's sharks.

34
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'Eventually, the boat dumped the
three worst explorers in history

35
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'on a bank,
in the middle of nowhere...

36
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'and left.'

37
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Have we just been abandoned here
to die? Whoa-whoa! What is it, what?

38
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,960
Are those zips?! Well,
they're outdoor trousers.

39
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You can unzip the bottoms?! Yes!

40
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,400
I'm sorry, on the kit front, chaps...
James, what's all this?

41
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:29,200
This is my belt of many things.
What is that? Don't touch it.

42
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That's a dental healthcare kit.
What's this? Don't touch it!

43
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,280
That is a shoe-polishing kit.

44
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,520
BOTH: What?!

45
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A shoe-polishing kit! Thank God
for that(!) If we get hungry,
we can eat his Kiwi boot polish!

46
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:44,480
Basically, what you've done is buy a
"My First Explorer" kit, put it on
your belt... Don't touch it.

47
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,040
'Hammond then revealed
a little secret.'

48
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So all these insects, where are they?

49
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Why, are you frightened of insects?

50
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,200
Yeah. Are you? Yeah. Really?

51
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Don't mess about. Seriously,
I am. It's a phobia.

52
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,880
It's like you and heights.

53
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,640
It's not you're scared of
falling off, it's a phobia.

54
00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:02,720
You are scared of heights.
This is the same, it's a phobia.

55
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I just don't... What's yours? Phobia?
Manual labour, you know that.

56
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,640
That's not a phobia,
that's bone idleness.

57
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Rubbish! That's not a clinical
thing, that's just cos you're lazy.

58
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'Since we didn't know what to do,
we just sat down and did nothing.'

59
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,480
I'm sure there's spiders in here,
there will be. Shh.

60
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What?

61
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,440
Is that... Uh-oh.
..in harmony with nature?

62
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,840
Stop playing ethnic tunes. Boys...

63
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:31,880
Cars.

64
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,360
'Plainly, there had been
a terrible mix-up

65
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'because one of the cars
on the raft was a little Suzuki.

66
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'None of us would
have been that daft.

67
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'But then we remembered...
James was with us.'

68
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1.3 litre... 1.3 litre!
..Wine bar specials.

69
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Famous for being able to stay
on their own four wheels...

70
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No, no, no. Falling over.

71
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:06,360
I presume then the Land Cruiser,
by power of deduction, is yours.

72
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Yes, it is. Correct choice,
everyone will agree.

73
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And you have, if my eyes are not
deceiving me, a Range Rover.

74
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:17,240
The best 4x4, by far, as we know.

75
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I had one of those. Yeah, classic.
I had one as well. Yeah.

76
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Did yours ever...work? No.

77
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,960
How is that raft steering itself?

78
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There's a little boat
behind it, look.

79
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'The driver of the little boat pushed
the raft vaguely near the bank...'

80
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Right. Well, we can get... No,
don't do that, we need to get it...

81
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'..and then went home.'

82
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Is that him just gone? Yep.

83
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Oi! You haven't parked it!

84
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:54,400
'We tried to pull the raft nearer to
the bank but it was very difficult.'

85
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,120
Heave! It's not moving!

86
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:58,160
'So we gave up.'

87
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,000
That's it, lads.
Up the gang plank.

88
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,480
Ow! There's a thing there.

89
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,840
We are good. It's like literally
being with Livingstone... Yeah.

90
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,400
..and...

91
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,680
THEY LAUGH

92
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:14,320
Do you want a hand up? Help!
Probably quite painful!

93
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,920
It was. Don't worry, I'm all right.

94
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,960
'Eventually, even
Indiana Clarkson was onboard

95
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'so we could get our first look
at what we'd bought

96
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,480
'from the Bolivian classifieds.'

97
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:30,920
Notoriously long-lived,
sturdy, reliable, small, agile.

98
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,320
What does it say in the advert
in the Bolivian Auto Trader?

99
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,920
I'll tell you what it did show in
the picture. That it was blue.

100
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THEY LAUGH

101
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Did it say, in the advert, that all
four tyres would be pumped up?

102
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No.
HE LAUGHS

103
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Oh, bloody hell.
We did buy these long distance.

104
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:51,840
'The only thing saggier than
my tyre was Hammond's roof.

105
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,200
It wasn't always
a convertible, was it?

106
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,960
No, it's been converted
to a convertible.

107
00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,360
It's been converted by someone
who is A, of Spanish descent

108
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,480
and B, a communist.

109
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,600
It's a tasty car all round.
I'm very pleased.

110
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,080
I like the see-through...

111
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,840
I like this. The window's not here,
it's here and there's no winder.

112
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,920
I don't need one, it's hot.

113
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:14,000
'To demonstrate what fools
the others had been,

114
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'I showed them the beating heart
of my mighty Ranger Rover.'

115
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:24,840
Behold, gentlemen,
the 3.9 litre V8 engine. Ahem.

116
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:28,520
3.9, yeah? 3.9. They had injection,
didn't they, Hammond, the 3.9?

117
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,720
Yes. All of them were fuel-injected.

118
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:31,960
What are those on top?

119
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:36,160
I believe they're carburettors.
They look like carburettors.

120
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,240
BLEEP. They ARE carburettors.
They are carburettors, yeah.

121
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,920
That can't be a 3.9, mate,
that's a 3.5!

122
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,760
It said in the advert is was a 3.9!
It said mine was blue.

123
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,400
OK, so there's some issues.

124
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,600
You'll be opening
the bonnet a lot. I won't.

125
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,240
You will! That's what killed these
off, globally. Why does everywhere,

126
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:56,480
all over the world, anywhere
difficult and inhospitable
use a Toyota Land Cruiser?

127
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,400
First Aztec bird we come across,

128
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,560
she'll make a bee-line
for me in this.

129
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,240
Yeah, OK.

130
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:07,600
'We could've continued arguing,
but we had to leap ashore...'

131
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,440
'Well, come on, then.'

132
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,440
'..Because our challenge
had arrived.'

133
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,800
Thank you very much.

134
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:18,320
OK. It says, "You are in Bolivia.

135
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:23,720
"And you will drive to the Pacific
Ocean, which is 1,000 miles away."

136
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,560
So we have to go 1,000 miles.
There's a jungle in the way.

137
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,960
And the jungle would
just be the start of it,

138
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,960
because on our journey we'd have
to negotiate active volcanoes,

139
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:40,760
utterly lifeless deserts and
perilous mountain passes.

140
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:47,360
But before all that, we had
to get our cars off the raft.

141
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:51,280
Which, as you can plainly see,
would not be easy.

142
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,160
Clearly!

143
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,000
Oh, come on!

144
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,960
'Trying to move the raft
soon led to a problem.'

145
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,960
Holy moly!

146
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,520
I am sinking.

147
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,760
Yeah. It's getting deeper!
Pull yourself out.

148
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,760
I cannot pull myself out.
Every time the bubbles come out,

149
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,480
you go in deeper. I know!

150
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:15,120
That's brilliant! Oh, God, no.

151
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,600
THEY LAUGH

152
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:18,960
As I sank into the ooze,

153
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,800
my colleagues became
increasingly concerned.

154
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:25,160
His plums are in the Amazon, look!
THEY LAUGH

155
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,560
Go and get a rope or something,
just to tie around my waist.

156
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,240
All right, we'll get something.

157
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,680
'Eventually, and rather reluctantly,

158
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,400
'they decided to pull me out
with my Range Rover.'

159
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,520
Hammond! Yes!
What are you bloody doing?

160
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,720
You want a proper knot,
don't you? No!

161
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,880
Just any old knot.

162
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:44,920
Will it start?

163
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,280
ENGINE STALLS

164
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,320
Oh.

165
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,040
ENGINE STALLS
Start!

166
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,080
You brought the wrong car.

167
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,640
ENGINE STARTS
Ah-ha-ha-ha!

168
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,720
Backwards!

169
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,640
Pull. Pull.

170
00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,920
You coming up? Yes! Oh, yes!

171
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,040
Ow! Say when.

172
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,680
All right. Here we go. Yes.

173
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:06,120
Ow, my arm parts.
Is it loose enough?

174
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,800
Yes. Stop, stop, stop.

175
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,160
Stop. So, as we can see,
my car's best.

176
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,280
Well, it didn't let you down there,
when it really mattered.

177
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,080
'Trying to move the raft
had resulted in nothing more

178
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:19,160
'than some muddy tide-marks
on my trousers.'

179
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,160
My jeans are ruined!

180
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:26,680
And so, with half the day gone,
we had to come up with a new plan.

181
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:30,320
You know, in the Second World War,
when a submarine was grounded?

182
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,840
When it had hit the bottom?

183
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:36,800
They used to get the crew to run
backwards and forwards and it would
sort of shuffle it along.

184
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,160
Are you suggesting
we run backwards and forwards?

185
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,320
No, no, no! Use the cars.

186
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,520
If we go right
to the back of the boat,

187
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,280
that weighs the back down
and lifts the front up.

188
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:50,360
We then charge forward. The act of
doing that will shuffle the boat

189
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,920
nearer to that bank.
That's a good idea!

190
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,560
'All we needed to do, then,
was back our cars up a bit.'

191
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,640
Oh, no. Hammond!
Has anybody got any jump leads?

192
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,920
Seriously? You're joking.
It won't start.

193
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,480
Just want to get this
completely clear again.

194
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:12,160
Range Rover - starting, working
well. Already saved a man's life.

195
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:14,920
Land Cruiser - broken down.

196
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:20,000
Oh, smoke! Smoke, smoke, quite a lot
of smoke. Something's on fire!

197
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,600
The starter motor's burn out.

198
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,880
'Despite using the
correct technique,

199
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,280
'Hammond couldn't
get his car going.'

200
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:28,520
It's on fire again!

201
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:33,080
And so, with the sun sinking,
I offered to help.

202
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,040
Why don't we simply attach it
to the back of the Range Rover

203
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,560
and I'll you a pull from here?

204
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:41,720
Because I'd rather drown myself,
but, yeah, it's... All right!

205
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,760
What's that noise?

206
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:50,200
Insects! Massive insects.
Millions of them.

207
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,040
Just hurry up, quickly!
All right, move forwards.

208
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,080
Mind your head!

209
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,440
'As the light faded, we lined up

210
00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,200
'for the most ambitious
jump-start in history.'

211
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,280
And...stop.

212
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:07,160
Three, two, one, go!

213
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:13,880
Sorry! What did you do that for?!

214
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,000
My breaks aren't very good!
Did it work? No.

215
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,480
Try again!

216
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,760
What happened? Nothing.

217
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,120
And...stop.

218
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:34,360
Three, two, one, go.

219
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,480
Try again! That's the good thing
about Range Rovers,

220
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,880
they can do this all night.

221
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:46,160
Yes, yes. When this thing starts,
it'll brilliant.

222
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,680
'The morning light
revealed our progress.'

223
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:58,440
Sitrep... Everything we tried
in the night didn't work.

224
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,560
But we have found peanuts.

225
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:04,800
'Rather embarrassingly,
James then discovered something.'

226
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,480
These planks are longer
than that one you've been
falling down constantly.

227
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,680
If you get in here and
grab the other end...

228
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,960
Are they long enough to...?
Two together will.

229
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:19,200
'Soon, we had a ramp and our first
car was ready to disembark.'

230
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,600
Watch the long-haired man.

231
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,440
Let's see his back wheels on.
Don't stand there.

232
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,080
Do you want us to help you?
You're all right.

233
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,720
You're all right this side.

234
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,520
You're all right.

235
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,240
Yes!

236
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:39,240
Oh! Four-wheel drive! It is
four-wheel drive, you half-wit.

237
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,920
Well, why are the front wheels
not doing anything?

238
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:45,440
Don't tell me they don't work.
Try again! Say when...

239
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,640
OK! It's not good!

240
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,240
That's stuck now.

241
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:53,160
'The whole weight of James'
three-wheel drive Suzuki

242
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,600
'was resting on our ramp.

243
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,880
'So we had to build another one.'

244
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,040
You're all right. Right.

245
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,320
Range Rover, British engineering,
don't let me down.

246
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,200
To the left.

247
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,600
Poo is coming out.

248
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,880
Here we go!

249
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:21,120
Now that's what I call
four-wheel drive!

250
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:24,160
Having rescued a man from the ooze,

251
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:28,200
the mighty Range Rover would now
rescue the Suzuki.

252
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,040
There's only an ounce to pull.

253
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,360
Please be gentle with this,
Jeremy, and not a yob.

254
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,480
Power!

255
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,680
Got him. Stop, stop, stop!

256
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,280
Yes, that's it!

257
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,440
What a pillock!

258
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,080
'I then lined up
to pull the brakeless,

259
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,800
'powerless Toyota down the ramp.'

260
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,320
We were supposed to be
averaging 100 miles a day.

261
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,680
So far, we've done, well,
I've done, about 20 feet.

262
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:03,640
Ready?

263
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,680
No. Right, he's ready. Gently.

264
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,400
Oh, dear God.

265
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,520
Go.

266
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,560
Ha, ha, ha!

267
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,280
'Finally, we were all off the raft.

268
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:31,320
'And, as a reward, the producers
gave us a box of things

269
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,680
'to help us survive
the perils that lay ahead.'

270
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,640
Chainsaw. That's good, that's useful.

271
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,760
What is this? I know what
that is, that's a winch.

272
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,440
Some rubber tubing.

273
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:47,560
Durex. Condoms? Vaseline.

274
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,120
Tampax...and...

275
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,880
Viagra. I know we're gonna
be in the jungle together,

276
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,160
but that's a bit extreme. What
kind of party are they planning?

277
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,720
'We loaded up
the Ann Summers box...'

278
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,640
'..jump started Hammond's car...'

279
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,360
Yee-ha! Is that working?
Now you're gonna see!

280
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,360
Go! Fire it up! Jungle!

281
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,440
'..and got cracking.'

282
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,240
'The jungle was a worthy adversary.'

283
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,400
Oh!

284
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,000
'But, for hour after hour,
we battled our way through.'

285
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,800
Do you want more?

286
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,400
This is the marker!

287
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,920
Rainforest. Shit. Good job!

288
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,200
Guys...I left my phone down
by the river.

289
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,640
Oh, God.

290
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,240
Dipstick. I'm going
to have to go and get it.

291
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,560
Just wait here, I'll go get it.

292
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:00,640
Take care.

293
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:06,080
Oh! Oh, mate. Finally,
we are making progress.

294
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,320
Hammond! Yeah?

295
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,920
Did I leave it on that rock?

296
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:15,120
No, it was on the stump I tied
the raft too. Just by the rock.

297
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,480
OK, got it! OK.

298
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,760
Got it. Good. Let's move!

299
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,560
Now we're making progress,
let's keep up the momentum.

300
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,440
'Soon, we found a logging track

301
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,000
'where finally we could
get to know our cars.'

302
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,560
Time to find out what
is working on my Range Rover.

303
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:35,760
All these dials in the middle
made by Smiths - so, no.

304
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,840
Speedo, no.

305
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,880
The Range Rover was designed by
a man called Charles Spencer-King,

306
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,200
who was, no question, a genius.

307
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:50,400
Unfortunately, it was
then made in the Midlands,

308
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:54,360
just "that'll do".
Everything was "that'll do".

309
00:16:54,360 --> 00:17:00,680
An UNBELIEVABLE piece of design,
ruined by minkies.

310
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,200
That said, however,

311
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:07,440
I seem to have bought the only 1980s
Range Rover in the world that works.

312
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:15,120
Given that Land Cruisers are
legendarily reliable and bulletproof,

313
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,280
this one isn't.

314
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:22,120
Oil pressure gauge, not working.
Temperature gauge, not working.

315
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:24,400
Fuel gauge...dunno.

316
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,560
Brakes not working.

317
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,520
That makes this one more special.

318
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:33,520
I have bought the only malfunctioning
Land Cruiser in the world.

319
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:37,480
And it is unique and therefore
probably priceless.

320
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,800
'Sure, my Suzuki only
had three-wheel drive,

321
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,160
'but I wasn't going to let that
tiny detail spoil the day.'

322
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,720
You're probably looking at
this Suzuki and thinking,

323
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:55,320
"It's small and comical, it's a toy
off-road, it's for hairdressers,"

324
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:59,320
And all the rest of it, but I'll
tell you what it is - it's plucky.

325
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,440
It's a bit like Finland in the war.

326
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,680
Look at Jeremy's Range Rover
lumbering along

327
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,680
this great, heavy beast of burden.

328
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,320
this is like a little mountain goat,
it just skips along. 'May?'

329
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,080
Talk of the devil. Hello.

330
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,080
Just to let you know, one of your
rear lights is hanging off,

331
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:19,320
but it's OK, I can mend it for you
with a small Phillips on my belt.

332
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:23,320
The voice there of the missing
member of Van Halen.

333
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,920
'Darkness fell,
but the temperature didn't.'

334
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:40,400
How can it be this hot at midnight?
How's that possible?

335
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:44,640
'Hammond, however, had more to worry
about than the heat.'

336
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,840
Ow! What the BLEEP is that?

337
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:51,560
There's something in here
squeaking at me, I'm... Oh, ho!

338
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,760
Bleurgh! Ah!

339
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:57,280
Oh! OH! What is that?!

340
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,160
Oh! BLEEP.

341
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,960
I can't stand that! I can't stand
that! I've gotta get out!

342
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,280
'Blashford-Hammond insisted
we made camp,

343
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,520
'where, to cheer him up,
I read him some bedtime stories.'

344
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,280
This is a book about
all the creatures

345
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:18,200
that live in the rainforest
that Mr Sting hasn't told us about.

346
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,640
Would you like to hear about the...

347
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,120
Brazilian Wandering Spider?

348
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,160
Not really, no.

349
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,200
"Causes around five human
fatalities a year...

350
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,120
"lives on the forest floor."

351
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:35,160
SCREECHING

352
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,920
What is that?

353
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,680
Head torch. I'm looking for...
What's it called? Wandering Spider.

354
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,280
Ooh, the botfly.
Now, this is a marvellous thing.

355
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,720
"The botfly cannot
sting a human directly,

356
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,440
"but catches smaller insects,

357
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:51,280
"lays its larvae upon them
and then releases them.

358
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,680
"If the smaller, host insect
then bites the human,

359
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,760
"the botfly larvae are
impregnated into the skin.

360
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,320
"The larvae then pupates
inside the skin,

361
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,720
"at which point they EAT their
way out and fly away.

362
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:08,200
"The BBC Natural History Unit
reports the case of a man

363
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,480
"who was bitten behind the ear
and kept awake at night

364
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:15,680
"by the sound of the botfly larvae
eating the flesh inside his head."

365
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,120
'Hammond didn't have a good night.'

366
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:20,160
What's that?

367
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,080
Argh! Argh!

368
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,400
Stick insect!

369
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,360
There's big things on my head!

370
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:26,400
Oh, what is that?!

371
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,640
There's something just flew in my
hair and it's squeaking at me!

372
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,240
It's big! It's really...

373
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,920
'And, to be honest, he didn't
have a great morning either.'

374
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,360
Who has done this?!

375
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:48,040
'To get away
from the creepy-crawlies,
I sought refuge in my car.'

376
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:51,680
OK. Guys?

377
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,040
Ooh. There is a snake in your car.

378
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,560
He's coming up here.
He's coming up here.

379
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,880
It's known locally as
"the big vicious killer snake."

380
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,560
Thanks.

381
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:07,520
Our raggedy convoy hit the trail
with Hammond still moaning.

382
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:08,720
Who's got my trouser-leg?

383
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,600
Has your trouser-leg gone missing?

384
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:17,160
'We soldiered on with the Range
Rover up front, forging a path
through the dense jungle.'

385
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:21,760
Look at it - rescuing other cars,
ploughing through here.

386
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:25,800
My sweat being soaked up
by the floor!

387
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:32,080
But soon, the strain of point duty
began to show.

388
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:37,240
This is now smelling hot, this car.

389
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:45,000
I can smell Jeremy's
Range Rover from back here -
it smells of imminent failure.

390
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,080
'I was right.'

391
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,000
Range Rover's just stopped working.

392
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,440
That honestly wasn't
very funny three series ago
and it's not funny now.

393
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:05,760
I'm not doing it on purpose.
No, I haven't got any brakes.
That's how I stop.

394
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:13,080
Oh, no. Oh... No.
James, it's over-heated.

395
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,880
What a rotten bit of luck.

396
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,400
Missing! Broken!

397
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:22,520
Your fault, because I have been
forging a path through this stuff.

398
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:26,520
Bamboo has gone into it
and broken my fan and now
my engine's overheating.

399
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:30,640
The plucky Brit has wounded itself
helping you out.

400
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,760
Your plucky British car has been
defeated by... What was it? Bamboo?

401
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:40,680
How did it get in there? What kind
of design is it if a piece of bamboo
can get in there and break the fan?

402
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,200
Bamboo?!

403
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,040
Without this,
would you still be on the boat?

404
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,040
Yes, you would. Yes. You would still
be on the river-bank.

405
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,080
This is the hero of the day.

406
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:56,240
We passed the time by bickering
until the engine had cooled down.

407
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,160
I love the V8 rumble. Nice.

408
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:00,840
It's very mighty.

409
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,400
ENGINE STARTS

410
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,400
Yes!

411
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:09,280
The mighty Spitfire is down,
but not out.

412
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,600
'We battled on through
the undergrowth.'

413
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,360
There, that's a gear.

414
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,680
We did that
without breaking anything.

415
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,880
Whoa!

416
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,360
'Eventually, Hammond
and May stopped.'

417
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,600
Sorry!

418
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,120
Because we had reached
a small gully.

419
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:51,680
That's pretty steep.

420
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:52,720
What?!

421
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:57,120
That's a bit of a gully, I think
they call it. I'm just going to
drive down and out the other side.

422
00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,520
No. You can't.

423
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,520
What is the biggest strength
with the Range Rover?

424
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,760
The wheel hits the bottom
before the front of the car.

425
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,720
If you look at a Porsche Cayenne
or your car,

426
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,240
there's about 18 feet of car
in front of the wheels.

427
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,760
This car cannot do that.
It won't make...

428
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,960
I'm going down. You two, stand back.

429
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,000
Watch and learn.

430
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:22,080
If you believe something
will happen, it will happen.

431
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,840
Low range. That was reverse.

432
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,360
Pointless handbrake off.

433
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,440
Oh, Lord.

434
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,680
Oh, brilliant.

435
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,640
Yeah, so you're now stuck in a whole.

436
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,520
Just lock the diffs. Just...

437
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:48,200
You great, dozy,
woolly-haired pillock.

438
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,000
It needs to be winched out.
I knew that a while back.

439
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,080
'I fired up the winch on my Suzuki.'

440
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,480
James, winch me up.

441
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,920
Is it moving?

442
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,480
It's coming. It's trying hard.

443
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,520
Come on.

444
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,760
It is coming free.

445
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:11,920
Uh, guys? Oh, my God. Uh, James.
It won't stop.

446
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:16,560
That didn't work.

447
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,760
Go on, then. Drive it out.
It won't drive out. It just won't.

448
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,640
'Mystic Hammond was right.'

449
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,240
That nearly worked.

450
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,120
'At last, my Toyota
could regain some dignity.

451
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:40,120
'First pulling out the Suzuki
and then the idiot's Range Rover.'

452
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,160
Whoa! I'm hanging.

453
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:55,960
Look at my little donkey
pulling the Range Rover out.

454
00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,520
'We realised we'd have
to build a bridge,

455
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,840
'which made one of us very excited.'

456
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,840
I am the god of hellfire.

457
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,560
Has he got a chainsaw?

458
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:08,920
CHAINSAW STARTS

459
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,520
Oh, yes!

460
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:11,600
Oh, God!

461
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:22,240
'We set about building our bridge.

462
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:33,440
'And since James had the lightest
car, Jeremy and I decided
he should go first.'

463
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:39,160
I declare this ready, steady,
strong. Get in your car
and drive over.

464
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:44,960
Left!

465
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:49,720
Looks like your back wheels
are beautiful, actually.

466
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,600
I think you're about right
from this side.

467
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:55,720
'What James really needed at this
point was clear instructions
from us two.'

468
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,080
If anything, a little bit left.
Little bit left, James.

469
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,480
I'm sorry. On this side,
I would say, not left.

470
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,520
Left or right?

471
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,320
James, what I'd do
at this point is power.

472
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,200
Maximum power.

473
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,840
You're going to need to engage...
There you go. There you go.

474
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,360
ENGINE REVS

475
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,040
Now, we're talking.

476
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:22,240
'Eventually, the three-wheel drive
Suzuki made it.

477
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:27,480
'So then, as night fell,
it was Jeremy's turn,

478
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,520
'in the much heavier
and much wider Range Rover.'

479
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,720
Whoa!

480
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:38,480
Left hand down. Think of it as going
on the outer log on this side.

481
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,040
It's not looking good
from where I am. No, I imagine not.

482
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,200
I can't see the back wheel.

483
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,000
It's all right. Keep going...I think.

484
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,720
You're about to touch down.

485
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,920
Nice work! Oh.

486
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,840
God almighty, that was scary.

487
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:05,320
'As I lined up, it was almost
completely dark.'

488
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,680
Hammond, I'm afraid,
we simply can't see anything.

489
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,040
We don't know.

490
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,240
Left a bit. 
This is quite frightening.

491
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,080
Stop.

492
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,720
Oh, I've got no brakes!

493
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,200
Hang on. Hang on.

494
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,560
Come on.

495
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,200
Right, you've got the front wheels
on, mate.

496
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,640
Make it so. Let's see
if it can make this verge.

497
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,160
Lovely.

498
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:36,240
Oh, that feels good. Ha!

499
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:43,760
'We drove on through the night
with the charms of the rainforest
starting to wear quite thin.'

500
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:47,040
It is extraordinary
if you think about it.

501
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:51,160
In South America, there are
no elephants, kangaroos,

502
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,360
lions, hyenas, honey badgers.

503
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:58,320
There's nothing interesting at all.
It's all just insects designed

504
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:04,000
to make you have a debilitating,
agonising death.

505
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,960
I'd love to know
how hot this engine is.

506
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,000
Very is what I'm thinking.

507
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:14,040
'So when we made camp that night,

508
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,360
'I decided to cut
some vents in the bonnet.'

509
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,240
Jeremy, my car's on fire.
Well, put beer on it.

510
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:29,560
There's a fire extinguisher
in the car.

511
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,360
You set my car on fire.
I haven't got my glasses.

512
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,920
Pull the bloody pin out.
You burned my Toyota!

513
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,160
Thank you. Yeah.

514
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:49,000
Right, day three... Four!

515
00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:00,960
Uh, it clings.

516
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,400
OK.

517
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:09,760
Ladies and gentlemen, David Lee Roth
in the morning. Here he is.

518
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,840
James?

519
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,480
What we've done... Don't do that.

520
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,920
What we've done is accidentally
camped on a road.

521
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,760
Who's this bloke on a bike?

522
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,560
Morning. Morning.

523
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,840
He's going to work
and we're camping on the A1.

524
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,920
Yup.

525
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,960
I can't remember if I took
my malaria pill this morning.

526
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,480
If I were a girl,
I'd be pregnant a lot.

527
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:57,600
If you're watching this in
smellovision, I apologise because
the smell in here is disgusting.

528
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,720
It's me.

529
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,800
I absolutely reek!

530
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,400
Luckily, we then got a shower.

531
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,760
Well, one of us did.

532
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:19,840
Hammond? Yes. How wet
are you getting in this rain?

533
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:21,880
It's not bad, actually.

534
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,280
It's quite a lot wetter here.

535
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,440
How can the rain be heavier there
that it is over here?

536
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,280
That's a river.

537
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:38,480
'It was indeed a river and one that
we'd have to cross

538
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:44,120
'which meant that we'd have to use
stuff from the Ann Summers chest
to waterproof our cars.'

539
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:48,680
Right. These are condoms. Do you two
need some time to yourselves?

540
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:54,360
Have you got those Tampax?
Wh... What?!

541
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:57,160
What are you planning?
I'll tell you my big problem.

542
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,120
It's my fuel filler cap.
If water gets in there...

543
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,040
You're in a lot of trouble.

544
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:03,720
If I put a Tampax in there,

545
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,760
it will expand width-ways
and I've seen the adverts.

546
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,880
I'll be able to go roller-blading
with a poodle

547
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,080
or drive a Range Rover through
a river in the Amazon delta.

548
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:18,360
James was suspiciously skilful
with the Vaseline and the condoms.

549
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,800
And soon, we were ready
to enter the river.

550
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,880
HE HUMS

551
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:36,120
Now, do I follow in Hammond's
wheel-marks on the basis that we
know how deep it is,

552
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:41,400
or do I think, "He's an incompetent
fool and go somewhere else?"

553
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:46,000
'As it turned out,
I was an incompetent fool.'

554
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,840
That's looking DEEP!

555
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,920
Oh-ho!

556
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,320
Please, keep going.
Little donkey, swim!

557
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:58,000
Swim, swim. There you go.

558
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:02,200
This is when, suddenly, the
Land Cruiser comes into its own.

559
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,960
Yeah, there's maybe more comfortable
things that will get you there,

560
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,680
but the Land Cruiser
will always get you home.

561
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,520
Meanwhile...

562
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,360
It's stopped!

563
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,840
Aah! Water's coming in to my car.

564
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:20,720
'This caused problems for James.'

565
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,920
You're going to have to go
round the outside.

566
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:27,840
Straight ahead there. I'll tell you
when to go right hand down.

567
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,760
Good. There.

568
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,000
Oh, God!

569
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,160
Cock!

570
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:39,160
Good, good. That's two. OK.

571
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,520
Why did I listen to you,
you imbecile!

572
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:48,800
'Rather than accept another winch
from the Toyota, the Range Rover
decided to start on its own.'

573
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,240
ENGINE STARTS

574
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:53,280
Ha-ha!

575
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:59,840
'Thus removing the obstacle
James had been trying to avoid
when he got stuck.'

576
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,280
As far as I can work out,
he's dragging it even deeper.

577
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,160
HE LAUGHS

578
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,640
Hoi, it's floating.

579
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,320
There's a lot of bubbles came out
of your petrol-filler cap.

580
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,680
That's air. But they've been
replaced with water.

581
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:17,880
'This whole episode
made James very angry.'

582
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,920
If you hadn't tried to be clever and
if your car wasn't so unreliable,

583
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:26,240
I wouldn't have had to go round
the outside in my small off-roader
and I wouldn't have sunk.

584
00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:29,880
Unreliable?! It stalled! It stalled!
It started again.

585
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,120
Mine will start again.

586
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,880
The rainforest
is just getting worse.

587
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:42,560
I'll tell you something, if you look
over there, would you not think
it's getting thinner?

588
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:54,400
'It was and soon, our battered cars
emerged from the trees.

589
00:34:54,400 --> 00:35:00,720
'At last, we were out of the
spider-infested sweatbox.

590
00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:08,040
'But ten minutes later,
James and Richard wished
they were back in it.'

591
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,200
Oh, God!

592
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,440
Stop it!

593
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:26,040
Just answer me this simple question,
how comfortable are you two
right now?

594
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:34,160
It's like a big, feather mattress.
I really am...relaxing. Yeah.

595
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,040
Oh, Jesus!

596
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:42,960
Have I broken James' spine? There
will be two Ted Nugents in a minute.

597
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:49,960
Oh, I'm so sick of that noise!
Stop rattling at me!

598
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,880
# Oh, Grace, you're getting away
with it

599
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,640
# Words but nothing to say with it

600
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,800
# Smile and take what you need

601
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,800
# In any way that you please

602
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:10,080
# Grace, you're getting away
with it... #

603
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:22,680
We spent the night in a town where
there were baths and bedrooms

604
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,120
and then we hit the road once more.

605
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,720
Oh, here we are.
This is cocaine country.

606
00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:33,800
Kate Moss's delicatessen.

607
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,160
Obviously we can't drive
through this region

608
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:43,760
without registering our disgust
at the violent, reprehensible
drugs trade

609
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,240
that brings misery
to so many millions.

610
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:57,240
May, have you seen what Hammond
has written on his car?

611
00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:00,600
Yeah, I don't think he's understood
what we're trying to do here.

612
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:05,000
Hammond, are you feeling
ashamed of yourself?

613
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:10,960
There was an opportunity and I took
it. But what about the untold
misery to millions?

614
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:15,040
"Untold misery to millions"?
Are the ratings really that good?

615
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,480
Ha ha ha.

616
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:25,240
As we left town, we started
to climb and that was a problem
for the Range Rover.

617
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:30,360
Every time we go up any form of
gradient, for any period of time,

618
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:36,280
the engine gets very, very warm.
Still nothing's working
apart from the demist.

619
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:41,400
'Soon the engine became so hot,
I had to get radical.'

620
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:45,600
The scope of my engineering genius,
literally, knows no bounds.

621
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,720
Because, as you can see,
the vents I cut in the bonnet

622
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,520
are now windows.

623
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:56,640
So I can see where I'm going,
the engine is cool. All is well.

624
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:04,600
Sooner or later,
Jeremy has to admit that the
Range Rover isn't working properly.

625
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:12,560
We were only 110 miles from La Paz,
but between us and it was
the Camino Del Muerte -

626
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:17,080
the death road - the most
dangerous highway in the world.

627
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:25,160
Over the years, the sheer,
unguarded drops have claimed
hundreds of lives.

628
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:32,440
And to make matters worse, Captain
Terrified-of-heights didn't really
have the car for the job.

629
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,280
James? Yes.

630
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:38,360
I don't know about the rear
suspension design on a Suzuki.

631
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:42,360
The shock absorber is traditionally
attached at both ends.
That's not absorbing shocks.

632
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,360
It's bouncing around on the spring.

633
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,880
That does affect your control quite
badly - not having a shock absorber.

634
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,480
I'm glad you said that up here,
Hammond, on my favourite road.

635
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,320
Hang on, before you go. What?

636
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:58,840
I genuinely don't like heights.
It's my biggest failing,
among many - I accept.

637
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:03,120
You know the, you drive
into the back of my car
and it's very funny, joke?

638
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:06,120
Oh, you want me to drive into him?

639
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:10,840
I'll cut your BLEEP head off. You
will need a beep there, BBC Two.

640
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,400
I can understand that.

641
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:21,640
Uh, my car is perfect in every way,
apart from it not starting.

642
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:27,520
So could you, if you wouldn't mind,
push me?

643
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:32,800
So you want me to push your car with
my car, now, on this road here? Yes.

644
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,960
There's no alternative.

645
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,120
OK, here I come.

646
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:37,400
Careful, careful.

647
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,800
BUMPER CRUNCHES

648
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,080
I wasn't as careful as I could have
been. Sorry.

649
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,680
HE SNIGGERS

650
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:51,480
Pretty soon, we saw why the road
had earned its name.

651
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,400
God almighty, that is high!

652
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,680
That is a massive, massive drop!

653
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,240
This is insane.

654
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:21,720
Whoa!

655
00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:26,520
The grasses stick up
and you don't necessarily see what
a long way down it is,

656
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,960
then you get one of those gaps...

657
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,680
..and you see down
and it is a long way.

658
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:34,400
There's one there.

659
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,960
'The dust didn't help either.'

660
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,040
Oh, gee. Look at that.
That's narrow.

661
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,440
HORN TOOTS

662
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,560
I don't understand the rules
on this road.

663
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:58,000
You seem to drive one minute on the
left and one minute on the right.

664
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:02,680
Sometimes the lorry stops to let you
go through. Sometimes they don't.

665
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:08,520
Some lorries pull over, others come
barrelling up behind you doing three
and a half times the speed of sound.

666
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,080
It's completely baffling.

667
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,760
Thank you.

668
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,760
I'm coming up against the truck.
I've got to go past him

669
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:24,480
and that means going on that side.

670
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:29,960
Looking straight ahead.

671
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:33,600
Breathe.

672
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:37,800
Moments later, James slowed down
to let a mad local get past.

673
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:39,440
HORN TOOTS

674
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:42,280
Does that mean there's one of those
maniacal taxi drivers?

675
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,000
..and I didn't.

676
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,360
Oh, God!

677
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,720
BUMPERS CRUNCH

678
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:55,920
Sorry, I was watching the taxi.
You're now going to get macheted
to death.

679
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,200
I was watching the taxi! I don't
care. Did I or did I not warn you?

680
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:03,120
James is killing Jeremy,
but things are going well.

681
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:07,320
I was watching the taxi. You
weren't. I was watching the taxi.

682
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:11,200
Did your co-presenter just attack
you with a machete? Yes, he did.

683
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:16,320
He was quite cross cos I ran into
him. That doesn't happen on clothes
programmes or gardening shows.

684
00:42:21,720 --> 00:42:28,120
'As we climbed higher, life
in the already battered Toyota
became truly terrifying.'

685
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:31,680
That's my steering.
I'm inches from death, there.

686
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,160
The steering wheel
doesn't do anything.

687
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:37,040
My brakes stick when I'm going uphill
so the clutch slips.

688
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,920
I can't breathe
because the dust gets in.

689
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,760
Oh, God! That's real fear now.

690
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:48,920
Going downhill, the same brakes that
stick on going uphill, don't stop me.

691
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,560
Ugh!

692
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,040
'The Suzuki too
was showing the strain.'

693
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,480
BLEEP.

694
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,640
HE GROWLS

695
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:04,880
What is the matter? It's got dirt
in the fuel system from the river.

696
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,920
So it's broken? It's not broken.
Occasionally, a bit of
it goes through.

697
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:10,920
Your simple, cheap car is broken.

698
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:17,320
'Sticking to the code of the
Top Gear brotherhood, I left James
and Richard behind.'

699
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:23,320
It just goes to show they are
badly-made these Japanese cars.
They're badly-made.

700
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,600
'James and I decided
to stick together.'

701
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:34,400
He's never going to go round us.
My God, he is.

702
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,560
That's insane.

703
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,000
Right. I'm in a ditch.

704
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:49,920
OK.

705
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,520
I didn't see this.

706
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,400
Whoa-ho! What a thing to miss.

707
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:55,720
Right.

708
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:59,960
'No biggie, though, because
my colleague would winch me out
in a jiffy.'

709
00:43:59,960 --> 00:44:04,400
Hold on. What?
The winch isn't working.

710
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:18,240
I'm now all on my own on Death Road.
I have no idea where Ray Mears
and Ted Nugent are.

711
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:21,640
They've just disappeared. We have
no phones. They're not on the radio.

712
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:23,320
They could be dead.

713
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:31,800
'We would, in fact, be dead quite
soon, judging by the mood
of the angry, stuck locals.'

714
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:35,000
Good luck. Thank you. 
Handbrake off etc.

715
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:42,560
The ditch is going to level out
so it'll be fine. There you go.

716
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:43,840
What a nice man.

717
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:51,120
'Soon, though, I wished I'd stayed
in the ditch because the Toyota
developed yet another fault.'

718
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:56,120
Something's broken
on that back corner.

719
00:44:56,120 --> 00:45:00,160
This is pretty close
to unbearable now.

720
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:02,800
Christ!

721
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,440
Meanwhile, very far ahead...

722
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:10,400
I'm now 5,500 feet above sea level
and still climbing.

723
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,920
Oh, God, crosses.

724
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,000
A lot of crosses there.

725
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:23,600
And then, underneath a waterfall,
I learned why there were so many
crosses up here.

726
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:32,600
Oh, my God.

727
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,000
No.

728
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,640
Oh, my...

729
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:39,160
Stop there!

730
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,720
That is going. That is going.

731
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,360
CREAKING
Bloody hell.

732
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,040
We were still miles back.

733
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:37,880
It was almost dark and,
worse still, James' alternator
wasn't charging the battery.

734
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:43,080
How much is running your car with
headlights on going to shorten
the life of the battery

735
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:44,800
and then kill the engine?

736
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,920
I don't know exactly,
but by quite a bit.

737
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:50,280
They're already getting a bit dim,
to be honest.

738
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,040
God, this is murder.

739
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:54,800
Pretty soon, the inevitable happened.

740
00:46:56,200 --> 00:47:00,120
My car is now dead
and without a new battery.

741
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:05,160
'Since the alternator was one of
the few things working on the Toyota,

742
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:08,120
'I swapped my live battery
for James' dead one.'

743
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,400
I think it was good of me to donate
my battery. Yes, it was.

744
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,760
Yes, it was. This time, we're not
going to run with your lights off.

745
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,240
No, OK. We'll use the torches.

746
00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:18,920
Hang on a minute.

747
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:27,880
OK, I've waited till nightfall here
at the summit of the death road.

748
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:31,320
My colleagues aren't here,
which means they must be dead.

749
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,520
I've therefore made them these
rather touching memorials.

750
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,520
With the torches fitted,

751
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,080
this was my view of Death Road.

752
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:52,080
Hammond, I want to say
something to you that
I wouldn't say at any other time.

753
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:53,480
'What?'

754
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,960
Please don't leave me.

755
00:47:55,960 --> 00:48:00,280
Oh, God, those words will stay with
me. I'll struggle to get over that.
No, I won't.

756
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,360
The next morning,
we were all reunited in La Paz,

757
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:22,520
the world's highest
and worst capital city.

758
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,800
But as we waited for
our next instructions,

759
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,160
the mood was frosty.

760
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,360
Are you ready? No.

761
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,280
La Paz... I still haven't actually
forgiven you as such.

762
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:38,040
It's not like we're being all matey
now and have forgotten you abandoned
us to die, just so you know.

763
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,400
I couldn't go back to the hotel,
eat steak, have a beer,

764
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:44,800
and go to bed feeling good
if I'd just left my mates...
I had to go to bed.

765
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:47,880
Then tell your mates the steak
wasn't very good.

766
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:49,760
I thought you were dead.

767
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,600
I had a simple ceremony up there
for you. Then what did you do?
You went on.

768
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,280
I said kind words about you.

769
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:59,760
What are we doing? Come on. "Between
La Paz and the Pacific Ocean,

770
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:05,160
"there is the Altiplano where the
altitude will cause you to have
a pulmonary oedema.

771
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:08,520
"Then there's the Andes where you'll
have a cerebral oedema.

772
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:13,120
"And then the Atacama which is
50 times drier than Death Valley.

773
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,560
"It has never rained.
It's the driest place on Earth

774
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:20,800
"and there is no life,
not even bacteria."

775
00:49:24,240 --> 00:49:27,480
Given that our lungs and brains
would explode in the deserts

776
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:30,200
and mountains that lay between us
and the Pacific,

777
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,040
we decided to modify our cars a bit.

778
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:37,520
So it was time to find a workshop
and cue the music.

779
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:41,120
# Theme to "A Team"

780
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:43,440
Have you got "Spider In Car"
for Hammond?

781
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,680
You can't see through the window!

782
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:46,720
Stick to hammers.

783
00:49:46,720 --> 00:49:49,840
That's the precision tool board.
The hammer lives elsewhere.

784
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:02,840
The next day, we left La Paz
well prepared for the trials
that lay ahead.

785
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:06,960
So, I've lifted the Land Cruiser,
obviously. Very simple.

786
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:10,600
Gives me room for the bigger, wider
tyres I need for the desert sand.

787
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,080
Roll cage for safety, obviously.

788
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,160
Then to get rid of some of
the weight, I've lost the doors

789
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:21,160
because they were very heavy,
and the roof and anything else
I didn't need.

790
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:27,720
What I've done to prepare for
the desert is team a rather
fetching hooded cardigan

791
00:50:27,720 --> 00:50:31,800
with some old combat trousers
and some big wheels on my car.

792
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,160
Wow, James has been busy.

793
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:38,800
Woo, yes.

794
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,080
You've modified that, mate.

795
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:45,200
As you can see, what I've done with
my car is mended it.

796
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:52,480
The modifying brothers were very
pleased with their results.

797
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,800
Yeah! Ah!

798
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,040
I'm liking this. Loving this!

799
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:01,080
But after a few miles,
the smiles had gone.

800
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:05,000
Hammond, I've made my car worse.

801
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:10,400
How? It won't ride properly
and the tyres are catching
on the wheel arches.

802
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,840
It's got no power any more.

803
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:14,120
Oh, God.

804
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:17,680
I am having to work my engine
quite hard.

805
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:21,560
The problem is, you put bigger wheels
on, it has the effect of
gearing it up.

806
00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:25,680
First gear is like starting in
third...it's hard work.

807
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:29,000
The long and the short of it,
I've rather ruined it.

808
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:32,000
James has just overtaken me
in his 1 oz box.

809
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,280
RICHARD LAUGHS

810
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:38,240
That face is smug, I don't like it.

811
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:43,120
Because I'd made my car better,

812
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,960
as we climbed onto the Altiplano,

813
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:48,800
I could relax and enjoy
the backdrop.

814
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,360
Look at that sky.

815
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:53,400
That's one of the best skies
I've seen for a very long time.

816
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:06,600
James, does it get hotter or colder
when you're at altitude?
I've forgotten.

817
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:11,480
I'm pretty sure it gets much hotter.
No, no, hang on. Colder.

818
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:17,160
There's only one way we can
accurately determine the temperature
and that's by asking our colleague.

819
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:20,320
I know what you're thinking,
I'm fine.

820
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:27,640
As darkness fell, we pulled into
a petrol station.

821
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:32,480
In the shop, we found a bit more
than Kit Kats and pies.

822
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:37,880
Wait a minute. Caramelised cocaine.
That's something you don't see in
every motorway service station.

823
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:41,400
Wow. You take it and then
you talk for hours.

824
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:43,040
Let's have that.

825
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:48,040
In fact, the sweet is made
from coca leaves which are legal
and used by locals

826
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:51,040
to ward off the effects
of altitude sickness.

827
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,840
Hammond found them very moreish.

828
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:57,640
They're nice, they're caramelised.
I've had about six.

829
00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:00,640
Luckily, this had no effect at all.

830
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:05,360
..all the camping gear,
then when you got there,
this was before the M5,

831
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:10,120
there was like a high bit
and a low bit and we used to say,
"Is this the high/low bit?"

832
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:15,080
And Mum and Dad would say, "Yeah".
And then we knew how far
it was to Weston.

833
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:19,200
I always thought
Bristol was a bit scruffy,
but actually it's quite nice...

834
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:28,960
The next morning, we woke
on the staggeringly beautiful
Bolivian high plains.

835
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:37,520
We couldn't see this in the dark
but it's absolutely breathtaking.

836
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:41,200
Look at it. It's took my breath
away. There's no breath
to take away.

837
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,920
We're at 14,000 feet
according to the gizmo.

838
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:49,760
14,000? 14,006 feet. What's that?
This measures your sats.

839
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:53,360
On Casualty, they always do this.
They put one of these on
their finger,

840
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:57,760
and it's something to do with how
much oxygen there is in
your red blood cells.

841
00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:02,880
If it's less than 98 or 99,
you've had it.

842
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,520
And Tina Hobley comes. What's yours?

843
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:07,880
87. That's less. Much less.

844
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,400
Where's Tina Hobley, then?
Just try yours.

845
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,040
I bet you can't go less than 87.

846
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,800
That's how ill I am.

847
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:18,320
89. 89? You're nearly dead.

848
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:19,880
I AM dead.

849
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:24,280
88, I'm not much better. If you went
into a doctor's surgery in England,

850
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:29,720
with sats of 88,
they'd put you in hospital. 84.

851
00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:33,600
In fact, the only thing
in a dodgier state than me

852
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,360
were the modifications on my car.

853
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:38,240
What's happened? I've broken
my front right spring.

854
00:54:38,240 --> 00:54:41,280
Completely clean. Sheared it
off both ends. You're joking?

855
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:44,160
Bloody hellfire.

856
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,680
So that is supposed
to be connected to that?

857
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:49,160
Yep. It's snapped clean off.

858
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:54,080
While trying to mend
the modified suspension,

859
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:58,320
there was another problem.
Your prop shaft fell off.

860
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:02,200
What? Your prop shaft just fell off.

861
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:07,360
Since there was no AA to call, it
took us all morning to get it fixed.

862
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:08,960
Ooh!

863
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,280
But eventually, we were off.

864
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:21,440
And apart from James driving
into a village well...

865
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:24,920
Sorry... Leave it!

866
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:28,680
..we made good progress
toward the Chilean border.

867
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,920
I'm in a fantastic desert,
with my two mates.

868
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:36,320
All the cars are working,
look at that, look at that.

869
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,760
It's great. It's an adventure.

870
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:44,680
And soon,
we reached a big milestone.

871
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:46,960
One mile, James, and we've done it.
Bolivia.

872
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:50,080
Let's roll in as a threesome.

873
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:55,000
You look at these three, you'd never
believe they were still running!

874
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,840
Most scrapyards would reject them.

875
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:03,440
At the border post, we were given
the traditional welcome.

876
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:07,520
My arse!

877
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:17,600
I hope he doesn't find the tampons.
Or, rather worryingly, the Viagra.

878
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:28,560
Drugs check over, we entered Chile,
where the scenery became
even more sensational.

879
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:36,840
Those are flamingos,
they actually are flamingos.

880
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:40,520
I've never seen them in the wild.
Wow.

881
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:44,320
Unfortunately, we were still
climbing.

882
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:48,040
Are you ready? 45 feet to go.

883
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,880
30 feet to go.

884
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:52,400
Here it comes.

885
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:56,120
5, 4, 3... We're there!

886
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:59,040
15,006 feet!

887
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:04,120
Ha! We are now higher than
the highest peak in Europe

888
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:07,120
and we're still driving.

889
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:13,000
Soon, the altitude would become
a big issue.

890
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:23,160
But the next day,
Hammond had an even bigger one.

891
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:27,560
His clutch had gone. Oh, God.

892
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:29,880
Oh, come on!

893
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:33,080
It won't come out of gear.

894
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:37,480
I'm trying to rock it
on the starter motor... Ah!

895
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:42,440
There you go.

896
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:46,320
We're away, into second,
match the road speed...

897
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:48,000
Ooh! Hey-hey! There we go.

898
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:56,040
We've just pulled over here
to wait for Hammond.

899
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,960
Oh! Dust!

900
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:00,080
Is that him?

901
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,480
It is.

902
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,720
It is. We're back as a three.

903
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:07,880
Hammond!

904
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:11,080
The donkey lives!
Oh, yeah! It lives on.

905
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:15,080
At this point,
we had a decision to make.

906
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:18,280
We can either go that way,

907
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:21,040
which is very long,

908
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:22,320
or we can go that way,

909
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:23,520
which is short,

910
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:26,320
but does mean driving over
an active volcano.

911
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:29,360
Short.

912
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:31,440
Volcano. Short. I agree.

913
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,360
Short. Let's do it.

914
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:44,960
As we climbed, the air became
thinner and thinner.

915
00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:52,000
15,400.

916
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,840
And climbing.

917
00:58:54,840 --> 00:59:00,560
We are, definitely, the highest
motorists in the world.

918
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:03,760
Apart from George Michael,
obviously.

919
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:08,000
Hammond's really got to think ahead
with no clutch.

920
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,960
He's gotta think ahead with
a brain starved of oxygen.

921
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:19,160
What is frightening is when
I need to come to grab first
to get up a steep bit.

922
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:20,800
Changing down is harder.

923
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:24,840
You have to guess how high
the engine needs to be revving
and slot the gear lever in

924
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:26,880
without a clutch.

925
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:31,960
James too was having problems.

926
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:33,520
JUDDERING AND GRATING

927
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:40,560
Oh, God, chaps, my transfer
box is jammed.

928
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:45,360
But these niggles were overshadowed
by the big one.

929
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,760
Up at this altitude, this engine
is really struggling.

930
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:53,080
For every litre of fuel vapour
it gets through,

931
00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:56,080
it needs 14 litres of air.

932
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,520
And there isn't any.

933
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:01,800
So, it's just like me...
HE GASPS

934
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:05,160
That means it's so down on power.

935
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:10,080
'Up here, James's car
had, at best, 20 horsepower.

936
01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:12,720
'And as we climbed higher,

937
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:14,520
'we started to suffer as well.'

938
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:18,240
The breathlessness now
is pretty acute.

939
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:22,520
Just talking is...hard work.

940
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:26,240
I'm starting to feel a bit...

941
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:28,560
Jeez...no...I'm feeling really

942
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:30,440
quite weird.

943
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:36,880
'The terrain levelled out
so we pulled over to catch
what we could of our breath.'

944
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:39,960
Do you feel sort of drunk
but it's not pleasant? Yeah.

945
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:43,320
Exactly that. My whole head...
I've got room spin.

946
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:46,400
'It was time for drastic action.'

947
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:48,240
Cyanide? No.

948
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:49,760
Viagra.

949
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:51,960
Eh? Is this the time?

950
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:56,000
Apparently, Viagra, for reasons
unknown to science

951
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,160
stops you having an oedema
in your lung.

952
01:00:58,160 --> 01:01:03,480
I thought it was more the trouser
department it concentrated on.
That could be a side effect, yes.

953
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:05,640
Down the hatch. Here we go.

954
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:11,480
Doesn't work. Nothing's happening.
I can't swallow it.

955
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:14,520
Nothing's happening.
I need a drink.

956
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:20,880
I'm going to get a massive neck
if I don't get some of that.

957
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:24,000
Apparently...that will
save our lives.

958
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,440
THEY LAUGH
Oh, God.

959
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:28,280
I've just taken Viagra!

960
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:30,720
On top of the Andes.
CHUCKLING

961
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:36,280
'Sadly, it didn't seem to have
any effect at all.'

962
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:41,800
I'm getting a headache
and I'm feeling sick.

963
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:45,360
Come on, come on.

964
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:48,680
'The big question now was this -

965
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:53,440
'which would give out first,
the cars or the men?'

966
01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:54,480
Come on. Come on!

967
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:55,720
Come on.

968
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:00,760
Every gear change
is so critical now.

969
01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:03,920
I get tense about it,
that raises my heart.

970
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,840
And then I need oxygen
all the more.

971
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:12,800
Still there, Hammond? Yeah,
I'm still here. I have to go slow

972
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:15,720
because I daren't risk changing up
to third. I won't make it.

973
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:17,480
'OK, mate, we'll slow down.'

974
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:20,720
We're a team up here.
Cos this isn't funny.

975
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:23,680
God, Jeremy's talking
about being a team.

976
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:26,960
Must be the altitude.

977
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:30,720
'At 16,700 feet,

978
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:33,240
'the Toyota broke down again.'

979
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:35,600
ENGINE STALLS

980
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:38,080
'I think my transfer box
has just gone.'

981
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:40,480
'James and I stop to help.

982
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:42,520
'And then we couldn't get going
again.'

983
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:47,680
The engines just aren't getting
any air.

984
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:49,240
At all.

985
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:51,920
There's just no...er...

986
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,680
James can't get his started.

987
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:55,600
I can't get mine started.

988
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:58,720
I haven't got any air to work.

989
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:05,080
Once we get the Range Rover going,
that's the most likely to start,

990
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:11,400
we can get
everything started. Right. Can we
move it? Three, two, heave!

991
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:13,080
And go!
THEY STRAIN

992
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:18,280
'Pushing a Range Rover at this
altitude damn near killed us,

993
01:03:18,280 --> 01:03:21,640
'but eventually the big beast fired
and once again,

994
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:25,680
'the most unreliable car in the
world got the others going as well.'

995
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:33,520
Oh, yeah.

996
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:40,680
Bloody hell.

997
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:42,960
My lips are now tingling.

998
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:48,400
I get the feeling something's gotta
give soon.

999
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:53,880
Jesus Christ, my head!

1000
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:02,960
'At 17,200 feet,
we pulled over - again.'

1001
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:12,240
PANTING

1002
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:23,640
Hammond? Yeah.

1003
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:31,640
Even if...the cars could get over
that and I seriously doubt that,
I can't.

1004
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:37,560
Just pushing on's just stupid.

1005
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:40,720
Seriously, I'm calling it a day.
I think you could be right.

1006
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:55,360
'We really were in trouble. So, we
turned round and headed back down.

1007
01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:56,520
'Fast.'

1008
01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:06,680
16 two. Still feeling weird.

1009
01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:11,600
HE COUGHS

1010
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,240
Breathing's better.

1011
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:16,680
With every foot...

1012
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:18,880
the engine's gonna run smoother.

1013
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:21,360
My body's gonna run smoother.

1014
01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:34,240
'We then went the long way round
and finally, drunk on oxygen,

1015
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:37,960
'we made it to the other side
of the Andes.'

1016
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:47,000
DEEP BREATHING

1017
01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:52,800
THEY INHALE NOISILY
Air!

1018
01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:56,000
It's so...so underrated.
It's thick.

1019
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:58,800
It's like breathing soup.

1020
01:05:58,800 --> 01:06:01,200
You can bite off pieces of it
and chew it.

1021
01:06:01,200 --> 01:06:03,240
It's like lung nectar.

1022
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:10,640
There is just one small thing
that's occurred to me, chaps.

1023
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:11,720
What?

1024
01:06:13,760 --> 01:06:15,640
Where the hell are we?

1025
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:22,000
We were in the Atacama Desert

1026
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:23,920
where there is no life at all.

1027
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:26,600
Not even on a cellular level.

1028
01:06:26,600 --> 01:06:31,120
Richard Hammond was the smallest
living organism for miles.

1029
01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,320
There was nothing here at all.

1030
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:38,480
Except for one road.

1031
01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:41,440
Oh, yes.

1032
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:45,520
The Pan-American Highway.

1033
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:52,160
Running is smooth.

1034
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:56,160
The view is spectacular.

1035
01:06:56,160 --> 01:06:58,000
Temperature is low.

1036
01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:05,520
'But the mad dash down the mountain
had been too much once again

1037
01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:09,000
'for the modifications
on Hammond's Toyota.'

1038
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:13,200
Better stop. Oh, God.

1039
01:07:14,640 --> 01:07:16,200
Didn't sound good.

1040
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:20,160
You heard something? Oh, yeah!

1041
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:21,680
Oh, dear.

1042
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:25,080
I think, James, we can safely say
that what's happened there

1043
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:27,320
is my prop-shaft has fallen off.

1044
01:07:27,320 --> 01:07:30,320
'And the prop-shaft
was only half of it.'

1045
01:07:30,320 --> 01:07:31,800
BLEEP.

1046
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:34,000
What's broken? Diff.

1047
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,840
It's shattered?
Absolutely exploded.

1048
01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:41,160
Good God. I'm surprised
that didn't somersault the car.

1049
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:46,760
I've just heard on the radio that
Richard Hammond's Land Cruiser

1050
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:48,440
is in serious trouble.

1051
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:50,920
HE SPUTTERS

1052
01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:57,720
'Happily, the Top Gear orang-utan
elected not to stop and help.

1053
01:07:57,720 --> 01:08:02,240
'As a result, James and I quickly
got the Toyota working again.'

1054
01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:09,880
We reconfigured it,
it's now running.

1055
01:08:09,880 --> 01:08:13,400
Front wheel drive only
so it's now just its front legs

1056
01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:16,280
dragging itself along,
still working.

1057
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:22,000
'We were now tantalisingly close to
the Pacific Ocean, the finish line.'

1058
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:27,960
There can be no doubt this has been
our toughest assignment ever.

1059
01:08:29,440 --> 01:08:32,520
No question about that.
It's nearly killed us,

1060
01:08:32,520 --> 01:08:34,280
it's nearly killed our cars.

1061
01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:41,040
'It is incredible to think
that these cheap cars

1062
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:44,960
'bought unseen on the Internet
had crossed the Amazon rainforest.

1063
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:49,760
'They'd scaled the most dangerous
road in the world.

1064
01:08:50,920 --> 01:08:55,960
'They'd still been working
when their drivers had broken down
in the Andes.

1065
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:02,680
'We didn't just respect them.
We loved them.'

1066
01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:07,200
I have a teddy bear, I've had it
since I was born.

1067
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:10,840
One of its arms has fallen off,
one of its eyes is missing,

1068
01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:13,600
its head's come off more times
than I can mention.

1069
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:16,560
To you it would be worthless junk.

1070
01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:18,920
But to me, it means everything,

1071
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:21,720
and it's the same story
with this car.

1072
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:27,880
Yeah, the ride's terrible, it's a
bit noisy, doesn't handle that well,

1073
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:30,680
and I'm always worried it's going
to fall over,

1074
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:34,600
but it's done everything
the big boys have done,
hasn't got stuck any more often,

1075
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:39,160
and the only time it's
really gone wrong is due
to its dunking in the river.

1076
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:42,360
I think the plucky little car's
done all right.

1077
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:50,000
From the very start of the trip
when I couldn't start it on
the raft, I thought, "Oh, no."

1078
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,680
But I didn't know it then,
I didn't know how determined it was.

1079
01:09:52,680 --> 01:09:55,960
This thing is like
that Black Knight

1080
01:09:55,960 --> 01:09:57,560
in that Monty Python sketch

1081
01:09:57,560 --> 01:10:00,640
where they're fighting with swords
and he gets his arm cut off.

1082
01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:04,720
"No, no, 'tis but a scratch!"
It's a great little car.

1083
01:10:04,720 --> 01:10:08,840
'As our exhausted convoy drew nearer
to the coast,

1084
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:13,040
'weirdly, the road
started to climb again.'

1085
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:19,960
40 miles to go and we've got
to drop 2,300 feet to sea level.

1086
01:10:19,960 --> 01:10:22,600
It must start going downhill
in a minute!

1087
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:24,160
'But it didn't.

1088
01:10:24,160 --> 01:10:26,400
'The punishing climb continued.'

1089
01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:30,760
I can smell... I can smell...

1090
01:10:30,760 --> 01:10:32,760
a boiling engine.

1091
01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:42,160
Is the drop at the other end
just sheer, because we're nearly
at the Pacific now?

1092
01:10:42,160 --> 01:10:45,920
And we're 4,000 feet up.

1093
01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:52,800
'Soon, though, we turned off the
Pan-America and headed through
the dunes to the finish line,

1094
01:10:52,800 --> 01:10:56,440
'where, unfortunately, there was
one more obstacle in the way.

1095
01:10:57,840 --> 01:10:58,880
'A big one.'

1096
01:10:59,800 --> 01:11:00,840
Hang on a minute.

1097
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:04,920
Whoa, wait.

1098
01:11:10,920 --> 01:11:14,120
Look how bloody steep it is.
God above.

1099
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:18,680
I can see now
why they said four wheel drive.

1100
01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:21,680
Er, I've only got three wheel drive.
I've only got two.

1101
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:25,760
What if you dig in?
If you dug in and started to roll,

1102
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:29,440
the chances of you being alive
at the bottom...are nil.

1103
01:11:29,440 --> 01:11:34,080
'We therefore decided to get some
practice on a smaller dune first.'

1104
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:35,320
Are we ready, chaps?

1105
01:11:35,320 --> 01:11:37,560
Ready. Ready? Yeah.

1106
01:11:38,040 --> 01:11:39,120
Three!

1107
01:11:39,120 --> 01:11:41,600
Two! 'Hold on, hold on.'

1108
01:11:43,240 --> 01:11:45,520
Give me strength.
Give me strength.

1109
01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:46,560
What?

1110
01:11:46,560 --> 01:11:48,800
Just before we do this,
I wanted to say... Oh, shit.

1111
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:52,120
No! Oh, my BLEEP!

1112
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:05,680
My donkey!

1113
01:12:09,480 --> 01:12:11,240
His wheel's come off.

1114
01:12:11,240 --> 01:12:12,680
Aw!

1115
01:12:16,720 --> 01:12:19,040
'Donkey was dead.

1116
01:12:19,040 --> 01:12:21,240
'And in some ways, I was relieved.

1117
01:12:21,240 --> 01:12:25,640
'Because it meant I no longer
had to drive down that dune.'

1118
01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:35,880
This is utterly, utterly,
utterly stupid.

1119
01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:39,960
I wouldn't do this in
a brand-new Range Rover.

1120
01:12:39,960 --> 01:12:41,240
James, are you ready?

1121
01:12:42,480 --> 01:12:45,160
Yeah, I'll be going for
second gear, Jezza.

1122
01:12:45,160 --> 01:12:49,280
Second gear, low range, and I've got
my diff locks in. Have you?

1123
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:52,400
I haven't got diff locks.
'Good luck, boys.'

1124
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:57,240
Three...two...one. Go!

1125
01:13:07,080 --> 01:13:08,840
Oh, my God.

1126
01:13:09,160 --> 01:13:13,080
I don't know... Oh, Christ, I don't
know where the wheels are pointing.

1127
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:16,400
I don't think so.

1128
01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:21,320
It's going sideways.

1129
01:13:21,320 --> 01:13:24,400
Whoa. Whoo oh oh!

1130
01:13:26,240 --> 01:13:27,760
Don't you dare go sideways again.

1131
01:13:29,080 --> 01:13:32,640
'The soft sand was a nightmare
and the gradient meant pretty soon

1132
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:35,160
'we were fighting to keep control.'

1133
01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:40,560
Get in a straight line,
you metal BLEEP.

1134
01:13:40,560 --> 01:13:41,760
Come on!

1135
01:13:42,720 --> 01:13:44,720
Come on. Oh, it's going
a bit fast now.

1136
01:13:45,520 --> 01:13:49,440
I'm in a 900-year-old utterly
ruined Range Rover.

1137
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:51,880
Argh! Argh!

1138
01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:55,200
Levelling out. It's levelling out.

1139
01:13:56,080 --> 01:13:57,480
It's levelling out.

1140
01:14:01,960 --> 01:14:03,840
Argh! We're down!

1141
01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:07,040
We're down!

1142
01:14:08,040 --> 01:14:10,200
Yeah!

1143
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:16,760
'Once again, we had shown what
the car, even when it's an old croc,
is capable of.

1144
01:14:16,760 --> 01:14:19,280
'Well, two of us had.

1145
01:14:28,360 --> 01:14:31,640
'But when we finally regrouped
by the water's edge,

1146
01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:35,960
'Hammond still believed
he'd chosen wisely.'

1147
01:14:35,960 --> 01:14:40,680
Are you going to try and argue...?
It's extraordinarily good.
It's led a very hard life.

1148
01:14:40,680 --> 01:14:43,080
It died a noble death,
I think valiant.

1149
01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:47,720
I think rubbish.
It has been a constant source of
problems and delays.

1150
01:14:47,720 --> 01:14:52,040
It was old and arthritic and had
been beaten every day of its life,
sick old donkey.

1151
01:14:52,040 --> 01:14:55,000
These two were old and arthritic
but they are here,

1152
01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:59,680
and the Land Cruiser is 2,800 feet
above us up there.

1153
01:14:59,680 --> 01:15:02,280
Forever. Can I just make
the case for the Suzuki

1154
01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:05,160
cos I know what you're thinking?
Plucky little car.

1155
01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:11,320
Helped you out a few times.
I agree. Technically, never really
broke down. Well...

1156
01:15:11,320 --> 01:15:14,080
It didn't survive very well
in the puddle.

1157
01:15:14,080 --> 01:15:16,240
But I'd like to say
most importantly...

1158
01:15:16,240 --> 01:15:19,000
Mm-hm. ..the ride is rotten.

1159
01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:20,880
Yes. And because of that,

1160
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:24,360
because it's almost
ruined your spine,

1161
01:15:24,360 --> 01:15:26,240
and because yours isn't here,

1162
01:15:26,240 --> 01:15:29,000
we have a startling conclusion
to the show.

1163
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:33,200
It turns out that the most
unreliable car in the world...

1164
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:36,200
is the most reliable car
in the world.

1165
01:15:36,200 --> 01:15:37,400
Yeah. It's fair enough.

1166
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:41,480
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you the Range Rover.

1167
01:15:41,480 --> 01:15:44,040
Not what I'd ever expected it...
Nobody expected that.

1168
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:48,400
Come on, we can be proud of that.
Proud to be British...

1169
01:16:01,760 --> 01:16:04,800
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1170
01:16:04,800 --> 01:16:07,840
E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk