0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1 00:00:12,056 --> 00:00:14,550 Tonight, Richard wears a towel. 2 00:00:14,585 --> 00:00:17,044 James and I eat some crisps. 3 00:00:18,008 --> 00:00:21,040 And The Fly is in our reasonably-priced car. 4 00:00:27,036 --> 00:00:28,033 CHEERING 5 00:00:28,068 --> 00:00:31,001 Hello! Hello! Thank you. 6 00:00:31,036 --> 00:00:33,045 Thank you so much. Thank you very much. 7 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:37,985 Now, there's a new Ferrari that has come out 8 00:00:38,020 --> 00:00:43,052 and the obvious person to test it is, of course, James May, because he actually owns a Ferrari. 9 00:00:43,087 --> 00:00:44,993 Um... 10 00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:49,032 He does. He doesn't like to tell people. Oh no, I have, I just told everyone. OK, anyway. 11 00:00:49,067 --> 00:00:54,096 Because he likes to keep it a secret, someone else had to do it. 12 00:00:56,028 --> 00:00:59,084 DRAMATIC MUSIC 13 00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:16,000 ENGINE REVS 14 00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:21,004 This is all a bit strange. 15 00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:26,985 Because the 458 has a paddle-operated gearbox, 16 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:32,012 someone obviously thought that life back here would be a bit complicated 17 00:01:32,047 --> 00:01:36,004 if there were traditional indicator and wiper stalks as well, 18 00:01:36,039 --> 00:01:39,040 so they've got rid of them. 19 00:01:39,088 --> 00:01:42,032 The buttons which control these things 20 00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:44,001 are now on the steering wheel, 21 00:01:44,036 --> 00:01:48,068 along with other buttons for the headlights, the suspension settings, the dim dip, 22 00:01:48,103 --> 00:01:52,092 the sidelights, the traction control, and the starter motor. 23 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:58,092 And you don't have to drive very far to realise the problem this creates. 24 00:02:00,064 --> 00:02:04,001 The thing about a steering wheel is, it moves. 25 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:06,973 So none of the buttons are ever where you left them. 26 00:02:07,008 --> 00:02:12,092 I mean, if I want to turn left now, I have to push this one on the right. 27 00:02:12,127 --> 00:02:15,093 There, that's the left-hand indicator. 28 00:02:15,128 --> 00:02:18,060 And if I want to turn on the lights... 29 00:02:18,095 --> 00:02:20,032 er... 30 00:02:21,052 --> 00:02:23,029 No, that's not it. 31 00:02:23,064 --> 00:02:27,056 This isn't like driving. It's like playing Pelmanism. 32 00:02:27,091 --> 00:02:28,981 And there's more. 33 00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:32,000 You see, there are two screens on either side of the rev counter, 34 00:02:32,035 --> 00:02:34,025 so the one on the left tells me all sorts of things I'm not 35 00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:42,032 really very interested in and the one on the right is a speedo or a satnav screen. 36 00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:44,981 You can't have both at the same time, so, 37 00:02:45,016 --> 00:02:49,016 you know where you are, you just don't know how fast you're going. 38 00:02:50,056 --> 00:02:56,028 This is likely to make life a bit botty-clenching when you go past a speed camera. 39 00:02:57,012 --> 00:02:59,049 Still, at least when you do, and they send you a snap, 40 00:02:59,084 --> 00:03:06,040 you'll be able to pin it on the wall, and that will be nice, because my God, this car is pretty. 41 00:03:08,084 --> 00:03:11,033 Of course, you probably think all Ferraris are pretty. 42 00:03:11,068 --> 00:03:17,036 But truth be told, the majority aren't, not really. Striking, yes. But pretty? 43 00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:19,001 No. 44 00:03:19,036 --> 00:03:21,973 This one, for example, is just vulgar. 45 00:03:22,008 --> 00:03:26,030 And even James's Ferrari, the 430, was a bit wrong. 46 00:03:26,065 --> 00:03:30,560 That smiling front end - it looked like a simpleton. 47 00:03:30,595 --> 00:03:35,056 It should have been called the 430 Speciale... Needs. 48 00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:38,993 This, though... 49 00:03:39,028 --> 00:03:44,004 I think this is the first properly pretty Ferrari since the 308 came along 50 00:03:44,039 --> 00:03:46,000 back in 1975. 51 00:03:48,084 --> 00:03:54,000 Interestingly, though, Ferrari say it isn't art. They say it's science. 52 00:03:54,035 --> 00:03:56,057 For example, they say that when a wheel is turning, 53 00:03:56,092 --> 00:04:01,012 it forces air to move around in here, creating a high pressure, so, 54 00:04:01,047 --> 00:04:04,080 they fitted these vents here which channel air along here, 55 00:04:04,115 --> 00:04:07,049 pushing the car back down again. 56 00:04:07,084 --> 00:04:12,092 They say, too, that these veins here on the front are forced down when the car is going quickly 57 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:19,060 by 20mm and that channels more air underneath the car, creating more downforce. 58 00:04:20,096 --> 00:04:26,092 All that may be true, but I still maintain that those chiselled front wings, the way they go... 59 00:04:26,127 --> 00:04:31,052 They're like Kristin Scott Thomas's cheekbones. 60 00:04:33,096 --> 00:04:37,092 And it isn't just looks where it leaps ahead of the old 430. 61 00:04:39,004 --> 00:04:45,060 That car produced 483 horsepower, so, of course, you'd expect this to produce a bit more. 62 00:04:45,095 --> 00:04:46,981 490. 63 00:04:47,016 --> 00:04:50,013 Maybe 495. 64 00:04:50,048 --> 00:04:53,024 But you'd be wrong. 65 00:04:55,096 --> 00:05:01,084 Because this produces a stratospheric 562 horsepower. 66 00:05:04,024 --> 00:05:07,084 It would be interesting, therefore, to see how much faster this is 67 00:05:07,119 --> 00:05:10,092 then the now defunct 430, but there's a problem. 68 00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:13,001 You see, this is James's actual car. 69 00:05:13,036 --> 00:05:16,985 The car in which he keeps a little brush for cleaning the air vents. 70 00:05:17,020 --> 00:05:22,048 And he said we could borrow it providing we didn't fiddle with any of the settings or make it dirty 71 00:05:22,083 --> 00:05:24,032 in any way. 72 00:05:26,068 --> 00:05:31,034 These chocolate bars just go everywhere. 73 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:35,965 Um... anyway, he also said I wasn't to... 74 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:41,068 drive it quickly. He made me promise that I wouldn't, for instance, do a drag race with it and I said, 75 00:05:41,103 --> 00:05:47,088 "James, I give you my word, I will not drive your car fast at all. " 76 00:05:50,036 --> 00:05:52,092 I didn't, however, say anything about him. 77 00:05:56,016 --> 00:05:59,049 OK, we're both going to use launch control. 78 00:05:59,084 --> 00:06:05,028 Push that button there. That absolutely knackers the clutch in a 430. 79 00:06:07,004 --> 00:06:09,060 It will be OK in this, cos it has a double-clutch system. 80 00:06:11,092 --> 00:06:15,004 3, 2, 1, go! 81 00:06:21,012 --> 00:06:25,036 Whoa! That is nought to 60 in 3.4 seconds. 82 00:06:27,056 --> 00:06:29,092 James's car is gone! 83 00:06:30,048 --> 00:06:32,032 It's just a humiliation! 84 00:06:34,004 --> 00:06:38,092 4.5 litres of V8 rev to 9,000! 85 00:06:46,088 --> 00:06:49,044 I have no idea how fast I'm going now. 86 00:06:51,008 --> 00:06:54,056 I just know I'm somewhere near Guildford. 87 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:06,032 So, the new car doesn't just beat the old one, it humiliates it. 88 00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:09,053 Destroys it. Crushes it. 89 00:07:09,088 --> 00:07:13,981 I think if I'd just bought a 430, I'd be feeling suicidal now. 90 00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:18,092 That sense that you could never drive it again, that you'd just look like such an idiot. 91 00:07:20,088 --> 00:07:22,001 Oh. 92 00:07:22,036 --> 00:07:25,034 But now it's time to answer the big one. 93 00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:27,997 What's the 458 like as a driver's car? 94 00:07:28,032 --> 00:07:33,060 What's it like when you show that glorious, finely-boned nose a whiff of track? 95 00:07:35,036 --> 00:07:37,965 You probably think it'll be brilliant. 96 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,977 You probably imagine all Ferraris are magnificent 97 00:07:41,012 --> 00:07:46,068 when you put the hammer down, but again, the truth is, they aren't. 98 00:07:47,096 --> 00:07:51,084 The 348, for example, felt like it had tyres made from wood. 99 00:07:51,119 --> 00:07:55,969 The 275 had milk-bottle tops for brakes. 100 00:07:56,004 --> 00:08:01,020 The engine in an F50 felt like it was bolted directly to your spine. 101 00:08:01,084 --> 00:08:06,056 And the 400 was simply awful in every way. 102 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,092 So, the 458, then. 103 00:08:13,056 --> 00:08:15,048 All face and no trousers? 104 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,056 Let's find out. 105 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,040 ENGINE ROARS 106 00:08:26,016 --> 00:08:27,068 Oh, my God! 107 00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:32,096 This is incredible! 108 00:08:35,044 --> 00:08:38,020 It just feels so light. 109 00:08:39,064 --> 00:08:41,032 HE CHORTLES 110 00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:48,048 I've never used a light, flappy-panel gearbox, but this is just sensational. 111 00:08:51,096 --> 00:08:54,036 What an astonishing car! 112 00:08:55,064 --> 00:08:59,029 Because the rear of the car is so planted, 113 00:08:59,064 --> 00:09:07,000 thanks to its new suspension system, they've been able to fit super-fast steering. 114 00:09:07,052 --> 00:09:10,000 Bang! The nose just darts in. 115 00:09:13,008 --> 00:09:15,985 Ahhh! 116 00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:18,032 What a machine! 117 00:09:21,032 --> 00:09:23,052 This is beyond anything. 118 00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,036 And listen to that noise. 119 00:09:27,071 --> 00:09:28,061 ENGINE ROARS 120 00:09:28,096 --> 00:09:32,028 It sounds like a bear, a burning bear. 121 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:46,076 I know this is L170,000, and that's a lot even by Ferrari standards... 122 00:09:48,024 --> 00:09:49,029 .. but I don't care. 123 00:09:49,064 --> 00:09:55,016 I don't care about the bonkers dash, I wouldn't even care if this thing ate one of my legs. 124 00:09:58,004 --> 00:10:05,088 The 458 is one of the all-time greats and I promise I'm not saying that just to upset James. 125 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,057 It really is absolutely, 126 00:10:13,092 --> 00:10:19,060 unbelievably, mesmerisingly brilliant. 127 00:10:23,044 --> 00:10:24,096 CHEERING 128 00:10:28,024 --> 00:10:31,012 I think that might have been a bit ambiguous, that's the problem. 129 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,985 Yeah. I really, genuinely 130 00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:37,985 believe this. I think this is better than an F40. 131 00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:41,993 I never thought I'd say that, but it is unbelievably good. 132 00:10:42,028 --> 00:10:47,080 Let me just get this straight, in evolutionary terms, Ferrari started with, like, an amoeba. Yeah. 133 00:10:47,115 --> 00:10:49,017 Then they evolved a bit to plankton. 134 00:10:49,052 --> 00:10:53,076 Then some sort of creature that crawled out of the slime, that's where James bought in. 135 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:56,017 Yeah, he jumped in. Then they leapt forward, really, 136 00:10:56,052 --> 00:11:01,012 and what we ended up with is StephenFry with Keira Knightley's face. So one massive leap. 137 00:11:01,047 --> 00:11:04,036 One massive leap... From where James's was to the next one. 138 00:11:04,071 --> 00:11:06,025 Are you finished?No, you are. Completely. 139 00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:11,024 Can never drive your car again. Not in the hours of daylight anyway,mate, no. No, you can't. 140 00:11:11,059 --> 00:11:14,045 You ate a chocolate bar in my car. 141 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,013 It doesn't matter, you can't drive it anymore. 142 00:11:17,048 --> 00:11:21,061 Anyway, we must now find out how fast, how much faster, this goes 143 00:11:21,096 --> 00:11:26,064 around our track then your useless old car that you can't drive any more. 144 00:11:26,099 --> 00:11:29,045 That, of course, means handing it over to our team racing driver. 145 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:37,036 Some say that he's recently been releasing pop records under the pseudonym of Lady Gaga. 146 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:43,064 And that under his race suit, he also wears a red G-string and suspenders. 147 00:11:45,016 --> 00:11:47,084 All we know is, he's called The Stig! 148 00:11:49,052 --> 00:11:55,021 And, he's off. No drama, no fuss, launch control taking care of everything. 149 00:11:55,056 --> 00:12:00,028 Already looking better than a 430, or the "idiot's Ferrari", as it's now known. 150 00:12:00,063 --> 00:12:04,028 Smoothly through the first corner, very nice indeed. 151 00:12:04,063 --> 00:12:06,981 # More than a woman... # 152 00:12:07,016 --> 00:12:11,981 Was that "bald-headed woman"? Weird lyric. Right, OK. 153 00:12:12,016 --> 00:12:17,008 Out of Chicago, still looking pretty tidy and very pretty indeed. 154 00:12:17,043 --> 00:12:19,056 And ahead, will this expose any problems? 155 00:12:21,024 --> 00:12:26,080 Not a bit of it. If I had a criticism, it's this car is almost too technical, too precise. 156 00:12:26,115 --> 00:12:29,032 #.. people so in love like you... # 157 00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:31,053 Still, better than a 430. 158 00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:36,032 Now, follow-through, yeah, lovely, around 570 horsepower working hard. 159 00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:38,969 Quick through the tyres and sounding good. 160 00:12:39,004 --> 00:12:45,008 Two corners left. Like Tom Cruise in IKEA, this car is so smooth, it makes it look effortless. 161 00:12:45,043 --> 00:12:48,048 Through Gambon on all four wheels. Across the line! 162 00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:51,068 OK. Now... 163 00:12:55,076 --> 00:12:59,042 Here's James's car, look, the Ferrari 430. 164 00:12:59,077 --> 00:13:03,008 One month, 22 days, uh... and nine hours. 165 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,049 458, 119.1. 166 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,973 So look at that. 167 00:13:07,008 --> 00:13:12,088 Almost exactly the same time as an Enzo. 168 00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:18,060 Kind of makes the Enzo look a bit silly, doesn't it? 169 00:13:18,095 --> 00:13:20,068 Maybe James should get an Enzo now? 170 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:22,021 Could be the right car. 171 00:13:22,056 --> 00:13:26,558 Now, just briefly, has anybody this week seen this in the newspapers? 172 00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:31,025 It's the most ridiculous... I think it was actually an accent thing, 173 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:35,096 because what she actually said was "revolting", but it came out like "fantastic". 174 00:13:35,131 --> 00:13:38,053 No, I think actually what's happened here is 175 00:13:38,088 --> 00:13:44,028 they've had to cut the quote to make it fit on the newspaper and they've had to take out 176 00:13:44,063 --> 00:13:47,001 "an imbecile but James May is... " 177 00:13:47,036 --> 00:13:53,012 No, she didn't say that, James, because you didn't say one word to her when she was here. Or you! 178 00:13:53,047 --> 00:13:57,037 Tom Cruise arrived last week, these two, "Oh, Tom, I've got a motorbike as well, 179 00:13:57,072 --> 00:14:03,000 "would you like to buy leather trousers and go off into the countryside any drink orange juice?" 180 00:14:03,035 --> 00:14:07,080 We couldn't get near to Cameron because she was entirely surrounded by you. 181 00:14:07,115 --> 00:14:09,985 She hugged me three times. 182 00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:13,993 She's an actress, she was pretending, you Muppet. 183 00:14:14,028 --> 00:14:17,021 Not in my mind, she wasn't. She was remembering the advice. 184 00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:22,072 "Now, Cameron, hug the big monster and pretend it's not scary". 185 00:14:22,107 --> 00:14:26,016 I'm now on her to-do list. 186 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:31,989 You're on her restraining order list, it's the only list you're on. 187 00:14:32,024 --> 00:14:37,012 Anyway, the news. As you probably saw if you were watching the Grand Prix coverage last weekend, 188 00:14:37,047 --> 00:14:40,052 the Williams team bought Rubens Barrichello a T-shirt. 189 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,080 Here he is wearing it. 190 00:14:41,115 --> 00:14:42,973 LAUGHTER 191 00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:44,060 He looks really happy there. 192 00:14:44,095 --> 00:14:45,037 He is really happy. 193 00:14:45,072 --> 00:14:51,000 He's so happy, he's bought the other Grand Prix drivers who have been down to Top Gear T-shirts. 194 00:14:51,035 --> 00:14:53,048 And here's Jenson Button wearing his. 195 00:14:53,083 --> 00:14:54,057 Aw! 196 00:14:54,092 --> 00:14:59,078 I think that demonstrates that somebody in Formula One has got a sense of humour. 197 00:14:59,113 --> 00:15:04,064 Makes you wonder, though. I wonder what Fernando Alonso's T - shirt would say? 198 00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:09,044 "I made Felipe Massa give me this T-shirt. " 199 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,048 Did anyone see the Grand Prix last weekend? 200 00:15:14,083 --> 00:15:15,057 Yes. 201 00:15:15,092 --> 00:15:23,064 The controversy, for those of you who didn't, rule 39:1, to be specific, says, 202 00:15:23,099 --> 00:15:26,033 "No team is allowed to interfere with the race result. " 203 00:15:26,068 --> 00:15:31,053 What that means is you can't tell one of your drivers to pull over and let the other one go by. 204 00:15:31,088 --> 00:15:37,048 To make sure teams don't cheat, the stewards monitor the radio traffic between the pit and the cars. 205 00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:40,973 So Ferrari needed, last week, for Massa to get out of the way 206 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:46,016 and let Alonso go by, so they use a coded message. Want to guess what it was? 207 00:15:46,051 --> 00:15:51,041 Was it, "Felipe, the rain inParis falls in May?" No, it wasn't. 208 00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:55,021 Was it, "The blue badger flies under the crafty cow?" I don't know. 209 00:15:55,056 --> 00:16:00,084 No, it wasn't that. What they actually said was, "Fernando is faster than you. 210 00:16:00,119 --> 00:16:04,008 "Can you confirm you understand this message?" 211 00:16:05,068 --> 00:16:07,969 It's not much of a code, is it, really? 212 00:16:08,004 --> 00:16:11,049 If the German navy had had a code like that in World War II, 213 00:16:11,084 --> 00:16:17,020 we'd have beaten them in about a week cos it would have said, "Ze destroyers are to the left. " 214 00:16:17,055 --> 00:16:19,017 The interesting thing is the punishment. 215 00:16:19,052 --> 00:16:25,004 You may remember McLaren were caught looking over somebody's shoulder and copying their homework. 216 00:16:25,039 --> 00:16:28,045 They were fined 100 million and had all their points taken away. 217 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:33,057 Ferrari, for this infringement, were fined 100,000, which is what they pay Alonso every day. 218 00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:39,044 Really? That's all they were fined for completely corrupting the outcome of a World Championship? 219 00:16:39,079 --> 00:16:44,020 It's disgusting. The only honourable course of action is for all Ferrari owners 220 00:16:44,055 --> 00:16:48,041 all of them, to go outside now and smash their cars up. 221 00:16:48,076 --> 00:16:52,096 I think burn them. Yeah, and then kill themselves, just because 222 00:16:52,131 --> 00:16:55,965 it's the only decent thing to do, all Ferrari owners. 223 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:01,028 I'm not just saying this because of you've been through, but I think Ferrari were right to do that. 224 00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:05,067 I couldn't agree with you more. Team orders, they should allow them, no question. 225 00:17:05,102 --> 00:17:09,072 If I ran a team, I'd have one fast car, I'd have me driving around at the back, 226 00:17:09,107 --> 00:17:13,037 shooting anyone who tried to lap mewith a BB gun. That's a team. 227 00:17:13,072 --> 00:17:19,048 Or a paintball gun. Just fit your second car with a massive wing that nobody can get past at the back. 228 00:17:19,083 --> 00:17:23,049 I'd do that. Now, Peter Mandelson, you may remember, he introduced 229 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:26,981 the scrappage scheme, the idea being that, if you bought a new car, 230 00:17:27,016 --> 00:17:31,009 you could get L2,000 for your old one, irrespective of its actual value. 231 00:17:31,044 --> 00:17:36,024 So many people took him up on his offer, they couldn't crush the cars fast enough. 232 00:17:36,059 --> 00:17:37,981 They were building up on airfields. 233 00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:41,005 We've got a picture of the scale of the problem. I kid you not. 234 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:45,008 If you zoom in on the cars here that we are talking about, look at this. 235 00:17:45,043 --> 00:17:48,037 That's a Mercedes A-class. There's a Mercedes E-class here. 236 00:17:48,072 --> 00:17:51,032 And a nice Freelander there. I know. These are just cars. 237 00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:54,037 There's another picture here with some 4x4s. 238 00:17:54,072 --> 00:17:57,072 I'm sorry, but look at that - there are Cherokees and Shoguns. 239 00:17:57,107 --> 00:17:59,029 I know, a Land Rover as well. 240 00:17:59,064 --> 00:18:03,985 The thing is, why didn't they just ring the Taliban and say, 241 00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:09,040 "Look, if you stop shooting at us, we'll give you a 1997 Shogun we've got parked. " 242 00:18:09,075 --> 00:18:12,025 We ought to make it clear, that under the scrappage scheme, 243 00:18:12,060 --> 00:18:16,064 the cars that were taken off the road have to be scrapped. They can't be sold. 244 00:18:16,099 --> 00:18:19,049 All these cars HAVE to be scrapped. 245 00:18:19,084 --> 00:18:25,068 All the energy that went into making these cars, now all the energy that's going into crushing them, 246 00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:28,029 then the energy that goes into making new cars for people 247 00:18:28,064 --> 00:18:31,080 who wouldn't have bought new cars if it wasn't for this scheme. 248 00:18:31,115 --> 00:18:35,016 All true. The BBC got some stick this week for allegedly 249 00:18:35,051 --> 00:18:37,529 over-promoting Peter Mandelson's new book, 250 00:18:37,564 --> 00:18:39,973 so let's redress that balance. Don't buy it. 251 00:18:40,008 --> 00:18:43,072 Nice. That's balanced it up a treat. That's even, it's fair. 252 00:18:43,107 --> 00:18:45,016 APPLAUSE 253 00:18:48,028 --> 00:18:50,013 HE MOUTHS WORDS 254 00:18:50,048 --> 00:18:52,524 Now, there's a new Nissan Micra out. 255 00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:55,000 And that is the end of the news. 256 00:18:56,076 --> 00:19:01,981 Now, a while back, our producers said to us that we ought to make a film explaining why 257 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:07,088 classic British sports cars like these were so awful and terrible and horrible in every way 258 00:19:07,123 --> 00:19:11,013 that people went out and bought hot hatchbacks instead. 259 00:19:11,048 --> 00:19:15,032 But we didn't agree. We said, "British sports cars weren't horrible. " 260 00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:18,017 And then there was a bit of a row. Huge row, massive. 261 00:19:18,052 --> 00:19:22,044 What we said to the producers was, "Top Gear is shown all over the world. 262 00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:26,084 "And even if British cars were terrible... " Which they're not. 263 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:29,005 ".. Even if British sports cars were terrible, 264 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:33,049 "we're not rushing around the country saying, "Everything's horrible here. " 265 00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:38,076 Crocodile Dundee never went into the outback and said, "It's too hot and it's full of spiders. " 266 00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:43,068 Jack Bauer doesn't run around America saying, "Don't come, it's full of terrorists", does he? 267 00:19:43,103 --> 00:19:46,997 The producers, though, were most insistent. 268 00:19:47,032 --> 00:19:52,012 So they gave each of us L5,000 and told us to buy a classic British sports car with it. 269 00:19:52,047 --> 00:19:56,055 And then we were told to report with our cars to the Lotus factory 270 00:19:56,090 --> 00:20:00,064 in Norfolk where, as usual, we would be given some challenges. 271 00:20:04,032 --> 00:20:11,000 'I was the first to arrive in a car from my era - the superb Jensen Healey. ' 272 00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:13,993 This is a beauty. 273 00:20:14,028 --> 00:20:20,053 Built by Jensen, designed by the father-and-son team that brought us the Healey 3-litre, 274 00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:28,068 styled by the same man who did the Aston Martin Lagonda, and powered by a twin-cam Lotus engine. 275 00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:34,016 You really can think of this, then, as being like one of those old '70s supergroups - 276 00:20:34,051 --> 00:20:36,052 Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. 277 00:20:36,087 --> 00:20:38,025 Will Young, but... 278 00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:42,012 Oh, hey up. Here we go. Speak of the devil. 279 00:20:42,047 --> 00:20:45,033 James, that is magnificent! 280 00:20:45,068 --> 00:20:48,049 A TVR-S from your period. It is. It's the TVR S2, actually. 281 00:20:48,084 --> 00:20:54,965 S2? Yeah, 170 horsepower, CologneFord V6 from Granada. Absolutely. 282 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,040 No, this was superb. And the other thing about these... Can you open the boot? 283 00:20:59,075 --> 00:21:02,057 Yes. Yes, I can. You know on the Antiques Roadshow? Yes. 284 00:21:02,092 --> 00:21:07,008 They always look behind the clock face and they can tell who made it. 285 00:21:07,043 --> 00:21:08,057 Yes, the maker's mark. 286 00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:14,016 Yeah, well, normally on a TVR, if you look underneath the carpets or the roof lining or something 287 00:21:14,051 --> 00:21:17,032 like that, you often find a clue as to who built the car. 288 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,084 Have you got something?Yes. There you go. 289 00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,569 This was made by a man called... 290 00:21:21,604 --> 00:21:23,348 Nobby? Nobby, I think. Yes, Nobby. 291 00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:25,229 You just don't get that on a... 292 00:21:25,264 --> 00:21:27,652 On a Golf, say. Or a Ferrari. No. 293 00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:30,005 'As we admired our wonderful cars, 294 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:38,012 'Richard arrived in a little gem from his youth - a Lotus Elan. ' 295 00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:39,571 Oh, yes! 296 00:21:39,606 --> 00:21:41,061 Oh, ho-ho! 297 00:21:41,096 --> 00:21:44,049 It's come back, it's come home! 298 00:21:44,084 --> 00:21:47,049 Yep, it has. It's a poetic moment, actually. 299 00:21:47,084 --> 00:21:50,061 The last Elan, here, back at Lotus. That's terrific. 300 00:21:50,096 --> 00:21:56,060 It is. I remember when this came out,that square stance it had. Nobodyhad built a square car before. 301 00:21:56,095 --> 00:22:00,016 No, nobody had done that. Yeah, there were reasons for that. 302 00:22:00,051 --> 00:22:02,537 The plastic used to shrink and they didn't know 303 00:22:02,572 --> 00:22:04,834 that the suppliers had come up with a new plastic 304 00:22:04,869 --> 00:22:07,061 that didn't shrink. So it was wider than expected. 305 00:22:07,096 --> 00:22:12,072 This is ingenuity, making the best of it. It was the same, the TVR -plastic. There's something 306 00:22:12,107 --> 00:22:15,977 about the plastic body. The engine in this wasn't Lotus. 307 00:22:16,012 --> 00:22:20,096 No, it's Isuzu. But that's Japanese - reliable. When they tested one of these, 308 00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:23,049 they ran it round a racetrack for 24 hours straight. 309 00:22:23,084 --> 00:22:26,092 And for 22 of those hours, it didn't break down. Seriously? 310 00:22:26,127 --> 00:22:30,032 'As we chatted, a challenge arrived. ' 311 00:22:30,067 --> 00:22:31,057 You read it, Hammond. 312 00:22:31,092 --> 00:22:37,008 "You will now race around the Lotus test track to see which of your ridiculous cars is best... " 313 00:22:37,043 --> 00:22:38,033 "Ridiculous"? Steady on. 314 00:22:38,068 --> 00:22:40,005 It actually says "ridiculous". 315 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:47,096 It goes on. ".. and then you must put the Stig in a car that wiped your British sports cars off the map - 316 00:22:47,131 --> 00:22:50,977 "a Peugeot 205 GTI - and set a time. " 317 00:22:51,012 --> 00:22:57,040 What, he seriously thinks a crummy little French hatchback can beat these purpose-built cars? 318 00:22:57,075 --> 00:23:01,541 Have we got to get the Peugeot? It says we've got to put him in it, yes. 319 00:23:01,576 --> 00:23:06,008 'First, though, we did some laps in our classic British sports cars. ' 320 00:23:10,092 --> 00:23:17,084 Oh, that this is a stirring scene - three great British sports cars haring across the British landscape. 321 00:23:19,068 --> 00:23:22,008 I love the sound of a twin-cam. 322 00:23:23,004 --> 00:23:25,064 It's engine noise you're hearing. 323 00:23:25,099 --> 00:23:26,985 MECHANICAL GRINDING 324 00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:29,060 That's not... Oh, deary me. 325 00:23:29,095 --> 00:23:30,993 CLICKThere we go! 326 00:23:31,028 --> 00:23:34,080 Yes! I knew there'd be one there if I looked hard enough. 327 00:23:36,032 --> 00:23:37,997 This car is, of course, very light. 328 00:23:38,032 --> 00:23:43,092 It weighs just 987 kilograms because it's made from canoe-building materials. 329 00:23:43,127 --> 00:23:46,985 Sorry, scrap that. Because it's made from composites. 330 00:23:47,020 --> 00:23:53,052 Critically, the Elan is front-wheel drive because it's just better. 331 00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:57,045 At the same time this car was coming out, 332 00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:01,060 Mazda were bringing out the MX-5. Rear-wheel drive, old-fashioned. 333 00:24:01,095 --> 00:24:05,051 As a result, the MX-5 never REALLY caught on. 334 00:24:05,086 --> 00:24:08,973 I mean it sold in MASSIVE numbers for decades, 335 00:24:09,008 --> 00:24:12,056 but it didn't have the same exclusivity that the Elan did, 336 00:24:12,091 --> 00:24:17,076 which never sold in the same vulgar, brash numbers. 337 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:25,060 Sometimes with this engine, you do notice that the oil pressure could drop alarmingly in a fast corner. 338 00:24:25,095 --> 00:24:30,080 It's OK, the engine would never blow up because normally the water pump would go first. 339 00:24:30,115 --> 00:24:33,004 A very useful feature, that. 340 00:24:34,092 --> 00:24:39,025 When you press the throttle in the TVR, there is a slight delay before anything happens. 341 00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:44,092 A lot of people thought this was a fault, but actually it's a very innovative safety feature. 342 00:24:44,127 --> 00:24:45,965 I'll demonstrate. 343 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:50,012 You're driving along, you press the throttle, the car says, "Are you sure? 344 00:24:50,047 --> 00:24:52,044 ENGINE REVS "Oh, all right, then. " 345 00:24:53,016 --> 00:24:56,033 Look at that TVR in my mirror. 346 00:24:56,068 --> 00:24:59,060 And that Jensen, cornering so flat. 347 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,033 A little bit of history for you. 348 00:25:05,068 --> 00:25:08,566 After the Second World War, which we won, 349 00:25:08,601 --> 00:25:12,029 Britain was littered with disused airfields, 350 00:25:12,064 --> 00:25:18,028 and many of them - like this one, in fact - were converted into racetracks. 351 00:25:18,063 --> 00:25:21,547 And it was on these twisting, turning racetracks 352 00:25:21,582 --> 00:25:25,032 that the lightweight, nimble British sports car 353 00:25:25,067 --> 00:25:28,028 was sort of developed and honed. 354 00:25:28,063 --> 00:25:29,057 HE LAUGHS 355 00:25:29,092 --> 00:25:32,973 'We could have gone round all day. 356 00:25:33,008 --> 00:25:37,068 'But the producers said we must pull in and post our lap times. ' 357 00:25:37,103 --> 00:25:39,045 The time has come, Hammond. 358 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,021 Would you reveal your fastest lap? 359 00:25:42,056 --> 00:25:48,016 My fastest lap in my Lotus Elan was 2:09. 2:09. Blistering. 360 00:25:48,051 --> 00:25:52,043 That is. There's no other word. It felt right here. 361 00:25:52,078 --> 00:25:56,001 James. TVR S2, my fastest lap time was 2:15.9. 362 00:25:56,036 --> 00:26:02,993 2:15.9. And here, the 1970s Jensen Healey, 2:17.9. So what we can see here is progress. 363 00:26:03,028 --> 00:26:08,052 As you'd expect from the British sports car industry. That's very good, That's even better... 364 00:26:08,087 --> 00:26:10,053 The cars have come on, decade by decade. 365 00:26:10,088 --> 00:26:16,056 And now it's time to find out how fast the Stig can go round in this Peugeot 205 GTI. 366 00:26:16,091 --> 00:26:20,061 It doesn't look like a GTI.No, no, I couldn't geta GTI, so I got a diesel. 367 00:26:20,096 --> 00:26:25,064 And they're basically the same. Yeah, same thing, pretty much. OK, Stig, start it up. 368 00:26:25,099 --> 00:26:27,081 ENGINE REVS 369 00:26:27,116 --> 00:26:29,029 TYRES SCREECH 370 00:26:29,064 --> 00:26:33,068 'The Stig wound up the Peugeot and began his flying lap. 371 00:26:33,103 --> 00:26:36,021 'Here we go, and... Timing!.. go! 372 00:26:36,056 --> 00:26:43,053 OK, we're off. I think the reason I couldn't get a GTI, I suspect, 373 00:26:43,088 --> 00:26:49,016 is because they've all rusted away or been crashed or fallen to pieces. 374 00:26:49,051 --> 00:26:52,028 The handling was terrible on those. They were crashed a lot. 375 00:26:52,063 --> 00:26:55,041 Any faults with your car? No. Any faults with yours? No. 376 00:26:55,076 --> 00:27:00,080 Did you know, in the whole history of TVR, there is no recorded incident of one ever breaking down? 377 00:27:00,115 --> 00:27:02,563 I've heard that. 378 00:27:02,598 --> 00:27:04,977 And here he comes... 379 00:27:05,012 --> 00:27:08,028 Yes! 2:09, 2:15, 2:17 for us. 380 00:27:08,063 --> 00:27:10,001 RICHARD LAUGHS 381 00:27:10,036 --> 00:27:16,973 2:22.0. Point, I think, proven. I don't think we need to go on. 382 00:27:17,008 --> 00:27:22,020 Well, we seem to have another challenge. I don't know what it can possibly say. 383 00:27:22,055 --> 00:27:25,033 "You will drive from the Lotus factory, now owned by the Malaysians 384 00:27:25,068 --> 00:27:30,040 "because the Britishmade such a mess of everything whenthey were in charge... " Come on! 385 00:27:30,075 --> 00:27:32,001 That's not strictly true. 386 00:27:32,036 --> 00:27:39,016 ".. to the grave of TVR in Blackpool, via the site of the long-gone Jensen factory in the West Midlands. 387 00:27:39,051 --> 00:27:41,547 "This is a journey of 280 miles... " 388 00:27:41,582 --> 00:27:44,009 And that, in kilometres, is 5,000. 389 00:27:44,044 --> 00:27:49,025 Just over. ".. which is impossiblein your cars, but no problem at allfor the Stig, 390 00:27:49,060 --> 00:27:56,000 "who will be shadowing you in a practical, well-made, much-faster Vauxhall Astra GSi. " 391 00:28:01,016 --> 00:28:03,033 'We lined up on the start line 392 00:28:03,068 --> 00:28:08,024 'for our trip across Britain's historic and beautiful Midlands. ' 393 00:28:08,059 --> 00:28:10,088 I've never looked forward to a journey more. 394 00:28:12,012 --> 00:28:15,044 We do have a magnificent flag in Britain. 395 00:28:15,079 --> 00:28:18,076 I mean, that one's on upside-down, but... 396 00:28:18,111 --> 00:28:19,977 beautiful flag. 397 00:28:20,012 --> 00:28:22,084 OK, let the journey commence. 398 00:28:27,032 --> 00:28:28,040 Oh, Lord! 399 00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:34,965 Oh, dear! Is that the Astra? 400 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:39,072 That was a known fault,that they would blow up sometimes. Don't you remember that? Yeah. 401 00:28:39,107 --> 00:28:42,045 I had two friends who had those and they blew up. 402 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:47,024 Annoying, because if you're late and you think, "I'll get in the car. " Bang! Oh, dear. 403 00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:52,060 So there we are. What we can deduce here is the GERMAN-made hatchback - 404 00:28:52,095 --> 00:28:55,061 the GERMAN-made hatchback - has exploded. 405 00:28:55,096 --> 00:29:00,004 And all the BRITISH-made sports cars are working perfectly. 406 00:29:00,039 --> 00:29:01,037 Hang on. What? 407 00:29:01,072 --> 00:29:03,072 It won't start. Oh! 408 00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:10,008 'In a jiffy, though, we got the fabulous TVR going again and set off. ' 409 00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:17,072 It is extraordinary, when you look at the British car industry today, 410 00:29:17,107 --> 00:29:21,981 to think what it was like in the past. I mean, 411 00:29:22,016 --> 00:29:28,072 in 1913, there were 140 different car makers in Britain. 140. 412 00:29:28,107 --> 00:29:35,013 In 1946, we exported 98,000 cars 413 00:29:35,048 --> 00:29:41,973 and imported 63. Not 63,000- 63 in total. 414 00:29:42,008 --> 00:29:46,064 It just beggars belief that it's all gone so wrong so fast. 415 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,981 Ah. 416 00:29:52,016 --> 00:29:54,033 Yeah, that's one of the clips 417 00:29:54,068 --> 00:30:00,005 that holds the roof on at the front. Fallen off. 418 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:06,025 Here's the thing, Lotus has always been about lightness, 419 00:30:06,060 --> 00:30:13,052 and by shedding parts like this roof clip that's proven to be extraneous - it can survive perfectly well 420 00:30:13,087 --> 00:30:17,060 with just one on this side - it's making itself lighter. 421 00:30:21,044 --> 00:30:28,088 Look at England. It's beautiful. I'll just wipe the windscreen so you can have a better look at it. 422 00:30:30,088 --> 00:30:32,064 It's marvellous. 423 00:30:35,076 --> 00:30:40,080 I've just noticed Richard Hammond's number plate, it's an anagram of "liar". 424 00:30:40,115 --> 00:30:44,028 Which today is very appropriate. 425 00:30:44,063 --> 00:30:45,973 Oh, and James's, look. 426 00:30:46,008 --> 00:30:48,001 That's an anagram of "gosh". 427 00:30:48,036 --> 00:30:51,080 That fits as well. A lot of anagrams going on here. 428 00:30:56,064 --> 00:30:59,033 This is very clever. 429 00:30:59,068 --> 00:31:03,029 The neat venting system around the driver's window here 430 00:31:03,064 --> 00:31:07,546 that allows the cooling, refreshing breeze in to keep you alert 431 00:31:07,581 --> 00:31:11,838 also allows just enough rain to come in, just to splash gently 432 00:31:11,873 --> 00:31:16,096 against your face and let you know, "It's raining, be careful. " 433 00:31:16,131 --> 00:31:18,061 That's a safety feature. 434 00:31:18,096 --> 00:31:23,061 'Another safety feature were the fantastically uncomfortable seats 435 00:31:23,096 --> 00:31:30,064 'fitted to a Jensen, which meant you couldn't drive too far without taking a break. ' 436 00:31:30,099 --> 00:31:33,044 Ah! 437 00:31:34,044 --> 00:31:36,038 Yep, yep, yep. 438 00:31:36,073 --> 00:31:37,997 There you go. 439 00:31:38,032 --> 00:31:43,024 We've done about 20 miles which, if you're watching abroad, is about 700 or 800 kilometres. 440 00:31:44,092 --> 00:31:47,973 Oh, do come on! 441 00:31:48,008 --> 00:31:53,044 And my back... I mean, after a distance like that, your back is going to suffer a bit. 442 00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:56,096 1989, this car had a mobile phone fitted. 443 00:31:56,131 --> 00:31:59,611 I imagine it was enormous. 444 00:31:59,646 --> 00:32:03,057 L37, L38 to fill it up. 445 00:32:03,092 --> 00:32:07,072 That's about 50 US cents to fill it. 446 00:32:07,107 --> 00:32:10,032 Just pop that shut. 447 00:32:33,048 --> 00:32:36,969 While they attempt to close my petrol filler cap, 448 00:32:37,004 --> 00:32:40,044 I'm going to choose some music for the next leg of the journey. 449 00:32:40,079 --> 00:32:44,551 And a good thing about having an eight-track is that 450 00:32:44,586 --> 00:32:48,829 you can't gets N-Dubz in this format, or Basement Jaxx. 451 00:32:48,864 --> 00:32:53,072 It's just good stuff - Blue Oyster Cult, Elton John, Bowie. 452 00:32:56,032 --> 00:33:00,056 # They call them the diamond dogs 453 00:33:02,020 --> 00:33:03,057 # Young girl... # 454 00:33:03,092 --> 00:33:09,013 'We ploughed on and soon we reached the beautiful city of Birmingham. ' 455 00:33:09,048 --> 00:33:14,000 There are more shopping trolleys in the canals here than there are in Venice. 456 00:33:14,096 --> 00:33:17,993 This is right in the heart of car-building territory. 457 00:33:18,028 --> 00:33:23,048 I mean, my grandfather was in the car-building business, everybody was. 458 00:33:25,064 --> 00:33:33,004 'Eventually, we arrived in the beauty spot that is Carters Green, West Bromwich. 459 00:33:33,039 --> 00:33:40,048 'And it was here in this very factory that Jeremy's Jensen was born. ' 460 00:33:40,083 --> 00:33:43,084 Think of all the people you've got ramming through doors, 461 00:33:43,119 --> 00:33:46,056 full of optimism, "I've got a brilliant idea!" 462 00:33:46,091 --> 00:33:48,028 Through there. Yeah. 463 00:33:49,084 --> 00:33:57,000 'They also made the Interceptor FF here, the first ever four-wheel drive production car. 464 00:33:57,035 --> 00:34:01,041 'It was the brainchild of this man, Major Tony Rolt, 465 00:34:01,076 --> 00:34:06,540 'one of the team behind the glider that was built in Colditz. ' 466 00:34:06,575 --> 00:34:11,969 I wonder what he'd actually feel if he could see this place now? 467 00:34:12,004 --> 00:34:16,096 He'd probably wonder why he ever bothered trying to escape from Colditz, to be honest. 468 00:34:20,048 --> 00:34:26,024 In the mid-1970s, 26% of the British workforce was employed in some way 469 00:34:26,059 --> 00:34:28,076 by the manufacturing sector. 470 00:34:28,111 --> 00:34:31,033 Today, it's 9%. 471 00:34:31,068 --> 00:34:34,060 It's not that we don't make sports cars any more... 472 00:34:36,012 --> 00:34:37,068 .. we don't make anything. 473 00:34:44,072 --> 00:34:48,000 'As darkness fell, we headed on to our overnight stop. ' 474 00:34:49,088 --> 00:34:55,566 I've just realised something, it probably looks as though I'm driving along huddled in a towel 475 00:34:55,601 --> 00:35:02,044 to keep warm and dry because the window won't shut and it's raining in, but that's not the case. 476 00:35:02,079 --> 00:35:03,025 The window's open 477 00:35:03,060 --> 00:35:09,068 because it's so warm, and the little bit of drizzle - let's not call it rain - is keeping me cool. 478 00:35:09,103 --> 00:35:16,016 'Eventually I became so hot I decided I had to pull over to try to seal the gap. ' 479 00:35:16,051 --> 00:35:18,001 Hammond, why are we stopping here? 480 00:35:18,036 --> 00:35:22,016 'Fearful the producers might be listening, Hammond had to think fast. ' 481 00:35:22,051 --> 00:35:25,025 Picnic! I fancied a picnic. 482 00:35:25,060 --> 00:35:28,042 Just soak it in, enjoy the view. 483 00:35:28,077 --> 00:35:31,024 Do you want some crisps?Yes, please. 484 00:35:31,059 --> 00:35:32,985 Cornish pasty? Lovely. 485 00:35:33,020 --> 00:35:38,068 See that church? Mmm? That was built in the Italian Renaissance. 486 00:35:38,103 --> 00:35:41,064 Really?You should see the frescoes inside. 487 00:35:43,032 --> 00:35:44,088 HE SIGHS 488 00:35:51,084 --> 00:35:53,053 LAUGHTER 489 00:35:53,088 --> 00:35:58,057 TAPE DECK CLICKS # All night longYou've been looking at me... # 490 00:35:58,092 --> 00:36:04,076 'Picnic over, we cruised to our overnight halt with our cars still running beautifully. ' 491 00:36:04,111 --> 00:36:06,075 # Oh, well now... # 492 00:36:06,110 --> 00:36:08,040 MECHANICAL GRINDING 493 00:36:09,056 --> 00:36:12,989 'Have you just run something over?' 494 00:36:13,024 --> 00:36:16,064 Just a warning noise to tell you you're on full lock. 495 00:36:16,099 --> 00:36:20,052 'That's a safety feature. ' 496 00:36:20,087 --> 00:36:22,036 Edit that out. 497 00:36:24,020 --> 00:36:25,041 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 498 00:36:25,076 --> 00:36:28,001 We'll pick that up later on. 499 00:36:28,036 --> 00:36:33,997 But now it's time to put a star in our reasonably-priced car. 500 00:36:34,032 --> 00:36:39,005 A couple of weeks ago we had Andy Garcia, last week, Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz, 501 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:44,052 so we were thinking, "Well, there's no way we'll be able to get a big Hollywood name this week. " 502 00:36:44,087 --> 00:36:48,036 But then we remembered, "Hang on, Jonathan Ross isn't on any more. " 503 00:36:48,071 --> 00:36:51,965 So, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome - 504 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:57,080 star of two of the highest-grossing films of all time - Jeff Goldblum! 505 00:36:57,115 --> 00:36:59,036 CHEERING 506 00:37:02,016 --> 00:37:05,010 What an honour! Another hug. 507 00:37:05,045 --> 00:37:07,969 Not as good as Cameron's. 508 00:37:08,004 --> 00:37:10,033 Jeff Goldblum, everybody, is here! 509 00:37:10,068 --> 00:37:14,052 On our poky motoring show!Thank you. Thank you. 510 00:37:14,087 --> 00:37:16,969 Wow! 511 00:37:17,004 --> 00:37:21,008 What an absolute honour to find someone who's the right size. 512 00:37:22,076 --> 00:37:25,096 Now, obviously we had Tom Cruise last week... Yes, sir. 513 00:37:25,131 --> 00:37:27,989 Spoke about fighter planes. I'm thinking 514 00:37:28,024 --> 00:37:33,008 we won't be doing that with you?Fighter planes? No. Although I was in The Right Stuff... 515 00:37:33,043 --> 00:37:36,072 Of course you were! I had a little part, I wasn't a fighter pilot... 516 00:37:36,107 --> 00:37:38,969 You were the man that ran into the room and said... 517 00:37:39,004 --> 00:37:42,048 "Here comes Sputnik!"Or something. "It's called Sputnik!" 518 00:37:42,083 --> 00:37:45,057 "It's called Sputnik!"That's right. That was your line. 519 00:37:45,092 --> 00:37:51,040 But of course the films we know you best for - well, there are three big ones, obviously, The Fly 520 00:37:51,075 --> 00:37:54,064 and Jurassic Park and Independence Day - you play a boffin. 521 00:37:54,099 --> 00:37:57,052 A what? A boffin, how do we say boffin in American? 522 00:37:57,087 --> 00:38:00,997 That must be British speak. AUDIENCE: A geek. 523 00:38:01,032 --> 00:38:05,076 But not really... don't say geek. You can't bring Jeff Goldblum on and call him a geek. 524 00:38:05,111 --> 00:38:08,005 But boffin, that's the British term for... 525 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:13,973 Boffin often means... Techno person? Mathematician. Academic. 526 00:38:14,008 --> 00:38:18,012 Yeah. I have to ask this, you know Independence Day, you get up there, 527 00:38:18,047 --> 00:38:21,044 you insert the virus, how did you have the right lead? 528 00:38:21,079 --> 00:38:23,965 Cos I never have the right lead for my computer, 529 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:28,056 and yet you're in this alien spaceship, and I thought that was pretty bloody clever. 530 00:38:28,091 --> 00:38:31,017 I was supposed to be very smart. You were really smart. 531 00:38:31,052 --> 00:38:36,088 Figuring things out that youdidn't even know I was figuring out. I was very impressed with that. 532 00:38:36,123 --> 00:38:39,021 So you are over here in London appearing in... 533 00:38:39,056 --> 00:38:43,981 A lovely play by the great Neil Simon, called The Prisoner Of Second Avenue 534 00:38:44,016 --> 00:38:50,024 at the Vaudeville Theatre eight times a week, 7:30 at night, 2:30 on Saturdays and Thursdays... 535 00:38:50,059 --> 00:38:51,061 And ticket prices...? 536 00:38:51,096 --> 00:38:53,025 Comfortable seats available? 537 00:38:53,060 --> 00:38:56,993 Well within their reach. And we do it until the end of September. 538 00:38:57,028 --> 00:39:01,005 One of the things I'm absolutely fascinated by is, you are a big name, OK? 539 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:05,534 You have appeared in, as I've said, two of the highest-grossing films of all time. 540 00:39:05,569 --> 00:39:10,028 What is it that causes you to say, "I'm going to appear in a play in London?" 541 00:39:10,063 --> 00:39:13,041 Why do you want to do that?Well, the theatre in London... 542 00:39:13,076 --> 00:39:17,005 London is, first of all, one of the great cities of the world, 543 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:23,044 it's just a thrill to be here, and the theatre here has a tradition and a standard of excellence that is 544 00:39:23,079 --> 00:39:29,048 the highest anywhere. And so this isthe height for me. So it's acting is what we're talking about here, 545 00:39:29,083 --> 00:39:35,013 because you have a great love of acting? I do. Now, cars. What do you drive now? 546 00:39:35,048 --> 00:39:40,044 I've got an SUV Mercedes M-Class. It's an interesting... not so interesting, but here's the story. 547 00:39:40,079 --> 00:39:45,072 In 1990... Whenever the second Jurassic Park came out... The Lost World. The Lost World. 548 00:39:45,107 --> 00:39:49,036 .. they introduced the M-class, that SUV, Mercedes, in that film. 549 00:39:49,071 --> 00:39:51,569 They were camouflaged and we took them on the adventure. 550 00:39:51,604 --> 00:39:54,033 They told me a few months later, when the film came out, 551 00:39:54,068 --> 00:39:58,562 "Hey, if you show up at one of our international sales meetings 552 00:39:58,597 --> 00:40:03,336 "and say hello to everybody, we'll give you one. " I said, "Oh, OK." 553 00:40:03,371 --> 00:40:08,076 I did like that. They gave me one and that's the car I'm still driving. 554 00:40:08,111 --> 00:40:13,092 So you just get a free car and then thought, "Just stick with it?" 555 00:40:13,127 --> 00:40:16,029 That's correct. In the meantime... I know you have 556 00:40:16,064 --> 00:40:20,088 strong feelings about this, but I got a Prius several years ago... 557 00:40:20,123 --> 00:40:22,977 No, no, no... I want to make this quite... 558 00:40:23,012 --> 00:40:26,969 Since Cameron came here last week, and she's very much in love with me, 559 00:40:27,004 --> 00:40:32,092 she's converted me to environmentalism, and I like the Prius now because she's got one. 560 00:40:32,127 --> 00:40:34,977 Sweet, sweet. 561 00:40:35,012 --> 00:40:37,029 Just because she didn't fancy you lot! 562 00:40:37,064 --> 00:40:41,017 But I want a new car maybe, and I'm open-minded to what 563 00:40:41,052 --> 00:40:46,032 is the most environmental -because I like that idea... As do I. 564 00:40:46,067 --> 00:40:51,012 You know? But I want a fun car, too. Let's see if we can't work out 565 00:40:51,047 --> 00:40:54,060 what this car should be. What should Jeff drive? 566 00:40:54,095 --> 00:40:56,025 AUDIENCE SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER 567 00:40:56,060 --> 00:40:59,989 A Bugatti Veyron, I'm not sure that fulfils 568 00:41:00,024 --> 00:41:03,061 the environmental side of it. I see you and something Italian. 569 00:41:03,096 --> 00:41:08,086 My older brother had a love affair with the Lancia Aurelia years ago, and had one. 570 00:41:08,121 --> 00:41:13,041 He was a car fanatic, and he was restoring it and tinkering with it every day. 571 00:41:13,076 --> 00:41:19,037 "Tinkering with it" when you have a Lancia is another way of saying "trying to make it start. " 572 00:41:19,072 --> 00:41:24,048 You go to a Lancia and... "I'd better just tinker with it and see if I can coax some life into it!" 573 00:41:24,083 --> 00:41:27,004 Has anyone else got any more thoughts? 574 00:41:27,039 --> 00:41:28,985 An Evo?! 575 00:41:29,020 --> 00:41:31,977 Do you... How stupid do you think he looks?! 576 00:41:32,012 --> 00:41:37,032 An Evo, what...? An Evo, It's a car driven by people who look like this. 577 00:41:38,036 --> 00:41:41,060 When you say to them, "What do you drive?," they go, 578 00:41:41,095 --> 00:41:42,569 "Got an Evo. " 579 00:41:42,604 --> 00:41:44,009 "Evo. " "Evo. " 580 00:41:44,044 --> 00:41:47,092 That's it. You could have one, actually, you're very good at that. 581 00:41:49,076 --> 00:41:53,082 Anyway, we get onto the whole business of the day here. 582 00:41:53,117 --> 00:41:57,053 You arrived and you had, like Christopher Eccleston, 583 00:41:57,088 --> 00:42:01,092 the actor, the former Dr Who who came down, he could not drive a manual car. 584 00:42:01,127 --> 00:42:05,017 So we found an automatic. You say itbroke down? Here's what happened. 585 00:42:05,052 --> 00:42:10,049 They didn't tell me that the automatic, even at its best, would be slower. 586 00:42:10,084 --> 00:42:15,072 Did you not feel that? It's onesecond slower to 60. I didn't know. I hadn't done the other one. 587 00:42:15,107 --> 00:42:20,020 But anyway, luckily it broke down and I thought, "Oh, no, what do I do now?" 588 00:42:20,055 --> 00:42:22,001 I had to learn the thing, and they told me, 589 00:42:22,036 --> 00:42:26,032 "This is going to be a little faster car anyway," so I said, "Oh, that's good. " 590 00:42:26,067 --> 00:42:28,025 So you went to the manual. Here's what 591 00:42:28,060 --> 00:42:33,084 a little bird has told me, you did the entire lap, apart from the start, in third gear? 592 00:42:35,064 --> 00:42:40,044 Well, this is the first I've heard that that might not be advisable. 593 00:42:43,052 --> 00:42:47,064 I said I was... The great teacher... Yeah. 594 00:42:47,099 --> 00:42:51,076 The wizard said... The Stig, you mean? Yes! 595 00:42:51,111 --> 00:42:52,057 Is he a wizard as well? 596 00:42:52,092 --> 00:42:55,021 He can do anything, he's a magical, magical man. 597 00:42:55,056 --> 00:42:58,060 He got me through the first... "Here's first, second. " 598 00:42:58,095 --> 00:43:01,020 And I said, "And third?" He said, "Stay in third. " 599 00:43:01,055 --> 00:43:03,969 Now why would the Stig do that? 600 00:43:04,004 --> 00:43:08,052 I'm sure he had his reasons. He was masterful and I adore him, but what happened? 601 00:43:08,087 --> 00:43:10,981 It was not good to stay in third? 602 00:43:11,016 --> 00:43:13,993 No. Really no, no, no. Coming down the back straight, 603 00:43:14,028 --> 00:43:17,088 you need to be in fourth and even fifth because the car will go to 100 mph, 604 00:43:17,123 --> 00:43:21,008 but not in third. Well, it will, but valves will come out. 605 00:43:21,043 --> 00:43:23,061 I'm very upset, cos I was thinking... 606 00:43:23,096 --> 00:43:27,076 I was enjoying it no end, and once I, you know, got the hang of what to do, 607 00:43:27,111 --> 00:43:31,577 when you're really pressing it and you're going on, I went, "Jeez, 608 00:43:31,612 --> 00:43:36,009 "I wish there was more car under me, I wish it would do more. " 609 00:43:36,044 --> 00:43:40,068 Is it something you've done beforeever, driving around a track?No, no, never. 610 00:43:40,103 --> 00:43:41,585 Never in your life? 611 00:43:41,620 --> 00:43:43,033 Never in my life, no. 612 00:43:43,068 --> 00:43:47,053 So who would like to see Jeff's lap, bearing in mind 613 00:43:47,088 --> 00:43:51,072 he's never driven round a track before, and was in third the entire way? 614 00:43:51,107 --> 00:43:53,009 Yeah! 615 00:43:53,044 --> 00:43:55,028 Come on, let's have a look here. OK. 616 00:43:55,063 --> 00:43:56,057 ENGINE REVS AND TYRES SCREECH 617 00:43:56,092 --> 00:43:59,070 'You see there's first and second and third. ' 618 00:43:59,105 --> 00:44:02,013 'I understand. "That's second, I saw it change. ' 619 00:44:02,048 --> 00:44:07,016 All right, baby. Feeling better with that, er, stick. 620 00:44:07,051 --> 00:44:10,068 'Stick, that's gear lever. 621 00:44:10,103 --> 00:44:12,029 'Oh, late brake. 622 00:44:12,064 --> 00:44:14,044 'Still in third. ' 'Yes. ' 623 00:44:14,079 --> 00:44:16,024 'OK, well, there we are. 624 00:44:16,059 --> 00:44:17,059 'Got round nicely,' 625 00:44:17,094 --> 00:44:18,060 very nicely, actually. 626 00:44:18,095 --> 00:44:19,033 Really? Yup. 627 00:44:19,068 --> 00:44:22,993 Can you believe that? Now, watch this! 628 00:44:23,028 --> 00:44:25,029 'Don't say "watch this". It's the precursor 629 00:44:25,064 --> 00:44:28,084 'to all big crashes when a man says, "Watch this!"' 'Really?' 630 00:44:28,119 --> 00:44:30,053 'But you DIDN'T crash. ' 631 00:44:30,088 --> 00:44:35,028 I wish it was faster right here. I'm putting it to the floor but I wish I had more car. 632 00:44:35,063 --> 00:44:37,063 'That's what I said. "Go into fourth! 633 00:44:37,098 --> 00:44:39,097 'Second gear here, or are you in third?' 634 00:44:39,132 --> 00:44:41,061 'Third. I didn't know fourth. 'LAUGHTER 635 00:44:41,096 --> 00:44:44,057 I did not know fourth or fifth would give me more power. 636 00:44:44,092 --> 00:44:49,064 'Up to third. You need to go in second and that would go a bit more. ' 637 00:44:49,099 --> 00:44:52,008 I wish I had more speed right now. 638 00:44:52,043 --> 00:44:54,017 LAUGHTER 639 00:44:54,052 --> 00:44:57,568 'The stick, pull the stick! Listen to it! 640 00:44:57,603 --> 00:45:00,817 'Valves are bouncing out through the bonnet. 641 00:45:00,852 --> 00:45:03,997 'Third gear, listen to the little thing! 642 00:45:04,032 --> 00:45:07,072 'You must have been sitting with the revs right on the red line. 643 00:45:07,107 --> 00:45:10,064 'That's a good run through that corner. That is third. 644 00:45:10,099 --> 00:45:12,005 'And here we go, all four wheels? 645 00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:15,008 'Yes! Very un-Tom Cruise-like and there we are, 646 00:45:15,043 --> 00:45:16,076 'across the line, everybody!' 647 00:45:16,111 --> 00:45:19,024 CHEERING 648 00:45:25,004 --> 00:45:31,000 It's a whole new thing. Anyway. Here are the people who have been around so far. We have got 649 00:45:31,035 --> 00:45:33,029 the 1:44.2 sitting at the top with Mr Cruise. 650 00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:40,092 And then 1:49.9 was the slowest we've ever had round here, who is a man called Nick Robinson. 651 00:45:40,127 --> 00:45:43,040 So, where do you think you have come? 652 00:45:43,075 --> 00:45:45,016 I mean, I must come last. 653 00:45:45,051 --> 00:45:47,065 I must be in last. 654 00:45:47,100 --> 00:45:49,045 You, yeah, you, yeah. 655 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:52,045 LAUGHTER Oh, this is a bitter pill. 656 00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:56,092 Because on the track they were saying, as I was doing another lap or two, 657 00:45:56,127 --> 00:45:59,084 they were saying, "Jeez, and you just learned. 658 00:45:59,119 --> 00:46:01,989 "This may be a very happy ending. 659 00:46:02,024 --> 00:46:06,060 "Just fix another thing or two... " I thought I was breaking records or something. 660 00:46:06,095 --> 00:46:10,037 You were breaking records. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 661 00:46:10,072 --> 00:46:17,052 No, no, no, you did it in third gear in one... 662 00:46:17,087 --> 00:46:19,016 forty-... 663 00:46:20,068 --> 00:46:23,017 nine dead. 664 00:46:23,052 --> 00:46:25,025 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 665 00:46:25,060 --> 00:46:27,025 SPEECH DROWNED BY APPLAUSE 666 00:46:27,060 --> 00:46:32,072 You're faster than Peta, 23, from Essex. 667 00:46:34,056 --> 00:46:37,088 Congratulations. Thank you very much. 668 00:46:39,064 --> 00:46:43,008 Are you pleased, are you proud? 669 00:46:43,043 --> 00:46:44,969 Yes. Yes. 670 00:46:45,004 --> 00:46:47,009 I'm happy as a clam. Excellent. 671 00:46:47,044 --> 00:46:53,056 Ladies and gentlemen and what a huge pleasure to have you here, good luck with the play, Jeff Goldblum! 672 00:46:53,091 --> 00:46:55,553 CHEERING 673 00:46:55,588 --> 00:46:57,981 Excellent. 674 00:46:58,016 --> 00:47:00,965 Now, tonight, we are on a quest 675 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:05,021 to prove that old British sports cars were brilliant. 676 00:47:05,056 --> 00:47:09,056 Meanwhile, our producers are on a quest to prove that the reason 677 00:47:09,091 --> 00:47:13,056 they were killed off by hot hatchbacks is because they were better. 678 00:47:13,091 --> 00:47:16,092 So, we now rejoin the action for a safety test 679 00:47:16,127 --> 00:47:19,013 at the top-secret Prodrive test track, 680 00:47:19,048 --> 00:47:24,028 just off the A 4177 between Honiley and Baddesley Clinton. It's on the left. 681 00:47:26,084 --> 00:47:30,032 'To try and show us that hot hatchbacks are safer than our cars, 682 00:47:30,067 --> 00:47:34,973 'the producers asked The Stig to get into a Citroen AX GT, 683 00:47:35,008 --> 00:47:40,080 'which would then be dragged by a special cable into the side of a lorry at 50 miles an hour. ' 684 00:47:54,064 --> 00:47:56,060 Didn't do well at all, did it? 685 00:47:57,056 --> 00:48:03,048 Well, there it is. That's the benchmark and that is a fail, isn't it? That's a fail, yes. 686 00:48:05,004 --> 00:48:10,009 'We then decided that because we are a team, only one of us actually needed to do this test. ' 687 00:48:10,044 --> 00:48:17,024 Should I wear a crash helmet?If anything goes wrong here, a crash helmet will make NO difference, mate. 688 00:48:17,059 --> 00:48:21,008 It'll make it easierto find his head. It will keep the bits in one place. 689 00:48:21,043 --> 00:48:24,061 This is the safest thing anyone has ever done. 690 00:48:24,096 --> 00:48:27,096 Look at the inertia reel seat belt you get in a Jenson. 691 00:48:27,131 --> 00:48:30,096 Could you just make that go a bit further in the back. 692 00:48:30,131 --> 00:48:33,064 I don't want you to ever say that to me again! 693 00:48:36,032 --> 00:48:41,056 You see, how cheerful amI about what I am about to do? Yeah. 694 00:48:42,056 --> 00:48:44,045 # Sunrise 695 00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,021 # This is the last day... # 696 00:48:46,056 --> 00:48:48,053 I've got Tony Christie on my eight-track. 697 00:48:48,088 --> 00:48:53,008 The seat belt is on, good, strong, dependable seat belt... Oh, I'm off! 698 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,001 Bye! I see a mean... 699 00:49:01,036 --> 00:49:05,012 Oh, I'd better concentrate because I'm going into the lorry. Brace! 700 00:49:07,004 --> 00:49:08,036 Brace! 701 00:49:13,020 --> 00:49:15,029 How safe is this car? 702 00:49:15,064 --> 00:49:17,057 That's a pass. That is a pass. 703 00:49:17,092 --> 00:49:20,044 Thank God he wasn't in that little Citroen. 704 00:49:22,016 --> 00:49:25,550 'Having proved, as a team, that our cars are safer than hot hatches, 705 00:49:25,585 --> 00:49:29,084 'we continued onwards and soon, we were in a very special place. ' 706 00:49:29,119 --> 00:49:35,016 This is where Richard Hammond was actually born. 707 00:49:36,088 --> 00:49:39,017 This is a beautiful town, Richard. 708 00:49:39,052 --> 00:49:42,040 You are very lucky to have been born here, Hammond. 709 00:49:42,075 --> 00:49:43,559 Am I ever? 710 00:49:43,594 --> 00:49:45,009 Fond memories. 711 00:49:45,044 --> 00:49:49,005 Usmania, "complete home furnishings". 712 00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:52,020 That's where the Queen buys all her furniture. 713 00:49:52,055 --> 00:49:54,041 Happy communities. 714 00:49:54,076 --> 00:49:59,024 Man cleaning windows, or is he breaking in? No, he is cleaning them. 715 00:50:00,068 --> 00:50:04,993 'Sadly, my trip down memory lane was interrupted by the producers, 716 00:50:05,028 --> 00:50:11,080 'who said we must go to a petrol station where they would test our cars' waterproof-ness. ' 717 00:50:11,115 --> 00:50:13,005 Shakespeare country, this. 718 00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:16,058 I know. I noticed Shakespeare'sEstate Agents. Yes, very much. 719 00:50:16,093 --> 00:50:19,041 I presume we're having to do the test of the waterproofing 720 00:50:19,076 --> 00:50:23,000 of the cars at a car wash because it so rarely rains in Britain. 721 00:50:23,035 --> 00:50:25,084 When would it happen? So we need to do that, yes. 722 00:50:25,119 --> 00:50:28,033 OK! What is that? 723 00:50:28,068 --> 00:50:31,036 Nothing, nothing. I've parked over an oil spill. 724 00:50:31,071 --> 00:50:32,084 Can I just check that? Is it? 725 00:50:32,119 --> 00:50:33,061 Yeah. 726 00:50:33,096 --> 00:50:36,969 You've parked over a bit of hanging-off bodywork as well. 727 00:50:37,004 --> 00:50:43,036 'To try and stop the producers endlessly filming the boring oil spill, James started the test. ' 728 00:50:45,024 --> 00:50:46,053 Do your worst. 729 00:50:46,088 --> 00:50:51,096 A lot of people do like to turn up and watch cars being washed around Solihull and Shirley. 730 00:50:53,076 --> 00:50:55,009 Edit that out. 731 00:50:55,044 --> 00:50:58,076 'The TVR passed with flying colours. ' 732 00:51:00,068 --> 00:51:02,032 Death Valley. 733 00:51:03,052 --> 00:51:05,973 'And so did the Jensen. ' 734 00:51:06,008 --> 00:51:11,020 Nuclear submarines have more leaks than this does. 735 00:51:12,012 --> 00:51:14,013 'So, then, I lined up the Lotus. ' 736 00:51:14,048 --> 00:51:20,000 There is a bit coming in, I'll be honest - yeah, some. 737 00:51:21,072 --> 00:51:25,056 Let's have a look. I'll be staggered if he's dry. 738 00:51:25,091 --> 00:51:27,547 No, It's fine. I spilt my drink. 739 00:51:27,582 --> 00:51:30,297 Not again? Was it just water? 740 00:51:30,332 --> 00:51:33,012 Yes, water and a bit of soap. 741 00:51:34,064 --> 00:51:40,032 'To then prove, again, to the producers why hot hatchbacks were so poor, we asked The Stig 742 00:51:40,067 --> 00:51:45,969 'to take a Ford Escort XR3i through the same car wash. ' 743 00:51:46,004 --> 00:51:50,068 Has The Stig ever been to a car wash before? No, it'll bea whole new experience for him. 744 00:51:55,024 --> 00:51:56,009 What do you think? 745 00:51:56,044 --> 00:51:59,032 Well, it's got a solid roof. 746 00:52:01,068 --> 00:52:04,057 What is that coming out of the sky now? 747 00:52:04,092 --> 00:52:07,028 That's a bit of over-spray from the car wash. 748 00:52:09,064 --> 00:52:11,032 He's coming now, gentlemen. 749 00:52:13,092 --> 00:52:17,008 Here he comes now. Oh, it's not gone well! 750 00:52:17,043 --> 00:52:20,024 Oh, my God! 751 00:52:21,076 --> 00:52:23,053 Now I come to think of it, 752 00:52:23,088 --> 00:52:26,096 this is the main reason I didn't buy an XR3. 753 00:52:26,131 --> 00:52:29,048 I lost a couple of friends like this. 754 00:52:29,083 --> 00:52:31,969 It's one of the reasons 755 00:52:32,004 --> 00:52:37,028 the insurance premiums were so high, it's because of this leaking issue. 756 00:52:43,028 --> 00:52:48,084 'Buoyed by yet another victory, we rolled on up our equivalent of Highway 1 towards Blackpool. ' 757 00:52:48,119 --> 00:52:53,021 Oh, God. Now, this is something, if you're watching this abroad, 758 00:52:53,056 --> 00:52:59,080 it's something I have never seen before, roadworks on a British motorway. 759 00:52:59,115 --> 00:53:01,064 That is unusual. 760 00:53:03,064 --> 00:53:07,021 'But then, we were made to turn off Highway 1.' 761 00:53:07,056 --> 00:53:12,044 I don't know why the producers have made us come THROUGH Stoke rather than round it. 762 00:53:12,079 --> 00:53:14,001 But I'm mighty glad they did. 763 00:53:14,036 --> 00:53:21,016 We three can count ourselves amongst the four million tourists visiting Stoke every year. 764 00:53:21,096 --> 00:53:23,096 OK. 765 00:53:24,096 --> 00:53:28,044 The car is beginning to smell like I need a picnic again. 766 00:53:28,079 --> 00:53:30,977 What do you fancy? Oil - er, sorry, biscuits? 767 00:53:31,012 --> 00:53:36,013 No, I'm fine. One of the more popular placesin England, this, for a picnic. 768 00:53:36,048 --> 00:53:41,044 The reason is, that house there, you see the lilac one, four along, can you see that? 769 00:53:41,079 --> 00:53:43,013 Robbie Williams lives there. 770 00:53:43,048 --> 00:53:49,020 Have you admired it for long enough? Yes, it's a good idea when you stopto check your engine is still there. 771 00:53:49,055 --> 00:53:51,043 Just having a look, it's nice. 772 00:53:51,078 --> 00:53:52,997 Lovely. Better for seeing that. 773 00:53:53,032 --> 00:53:57,080 Have you had your picnic?I have had a lovely picnic. I am absolutely full again. 774 00:53:57,115 --> 00:53:59,057 Would you be needing a picnic again? 775 00:53:59,092 --> 00:54:03,068 Another hour or so and I'll want a quick picnic before Blackpool. 776 00:54:06,056 --> 00:54:11,012 'Blackpool was just 15 miles away but the producers, infuriated by our good progress, 777 00:54:11,047 --> 00:54:16,020 'ordered us to pull over at a garden centre for yet another challenge. ' 778 00:54:17,048 --> 00:54:18,049 JEREMY CLEARS THROAT 779 00:54:18,084 --> 00:54:21,993 "One of the main reasons people switched from British sports cars 780 00:54:22,028 --> 00:54:27,016 "to European hot hatchbacks, apart from reliability, price, comfort, speed, handling... " 781 00:54:27,051 --> 00:54:31,043 I don't think so, as we have proved. ".. is practicality. 782 00:54:31,078 --> 00:54:35,001 "To prove this point, you will load up a Golf GTI with items 783 00:54:35,036 --> 00:54:40,092 "from the garden centre and then you will see how much you can get in YOUR cars. " 784 00:54:44,048 --> 00:54:50,080 'This is a MkI GTI, the first of the breed, the breed that killed the British sports car. 785 00:54:50,115 --> 00:54:53,092 'So, let's see what we can get into that boot. ' 786 00:54:58,060 --> 00:54:59,037 Whoa, careful. 787 00:54:59,072 --> 00:55:00,985 I shall open the boot. 788 00:55:01,020 --> 00:55:04,056 We'll just... You need to take... The parcel shelf down. 789 00:55:06,044 --> 00:55:10,012 There it is. OK. There we are. 790 00:55:13,060 --> 00:55:15,969 No. Ah. No, you see. 791 00:55:16,004 --> 00:55:19,080 If you can't get a rose arch intoa Golf GTI... What can you get in? 792 00:55:19,115 --> 00:55:21,072 Exactly. 793 00:55:23,048 --> 00:55:28,000 'After a quick shop, we hit the road and made our point. ' 794 00:55:35,092 --> 00:55:40,076 Here's the thing. If you had gone to the garden centre with a hot hatchback, 795 00:55:40,111 --> 00:55:44,040 the biggest thing you could have brought home is a pansy. 796 00:55:44,075 --> 00:55:47,076 I'm going home with a bamboo and a conifer. 797 00:55:49,028 --> 00:55:54,016 TVR, the car that came out of the shed, now, underneath one. 798 00:55:57,032 --> 00:55:58,061 This is awkward. 799 00:55:58,096 --> 00:56:03,004 Her bottom is quite close to my face. 800 00:56:06,048 --> 00:56:10,000 'There was, however, a serious point to be made here. ' 801 00:56:11,052 --> 00:56:16,032 We were all rather dazzled by the XR3i and the Golf GTI and so on, 802 00:56:16,067 --> 00:56:18,041 but really, it was a bit of a fad. 803 00:56:18,076 --> 00:56:24,008 Nobody these days is saying, "Oh, I'd love an old XR3." 804 00:56:24,043 --> 00:56:28,032 But a Jensen Healey, a Lotus, a TVR, yes. 805 00:56:30,004 --> 00:56:35,024 'As we neared journey's end, Richard became a bit emotional. ' 806 00:56:35,059 --> 00:56:39,001 I think driving to a British seaside resort, Blackpool, 807 00:56:39,036 --> 00:56:45,004 in a funny little British sports car with a naked lady statue and a giant urn on the seat next to me, 808 00:56:45,039 --> 00:56:49,041 is, above all else, fun. 809 00:56:49,076 --> 00:56:53,989 And for all our serious side, the British have always been rather good at fun. 810 00:56:54,024 --> 00:57:01,096 The whole experience is tinged at all times with the knowledge that we are doing something that has ended. 811 00:57:04,044 --> 00:57:09,092 And finally, we end with James's TVR coming home. 812 00:57:16,028 --> 00:57:19,036 'This is the home in question. 813 00:57:19,071 --> 00:57:22,044 'The factory where it was made. ' 814 00:57:22,079 --> 00:57:23,080 This one, I remember. 815 00:57:23,115 --> 00:57:25,009 I remember this. 816 00:57:25,044 --> 00:57:27,969 Because they made them everywhere, didn't they? 817 00:57:28,004 --> 00:57:31,016 They were in that one and that one and this one and this one. 818 00:57:31,051 --> 00:57:34,096 It was busy. Everything got moved... It wasn't efficient. 819 00:57:34,131 --> 00:57:37,000 No, but busy and they made stuff. 820 00:57:37,035 --> 00:57:39,037 Oh, my God, look at that. 821 00:57:39,072 --> 00:57:42,068 Ooh, I remember those. They were Tamsins. 822 00:57:42,103 --> 00:57:46,028 And the grey one was a 3-litre. 823 00:57:46,063 --> 00:57:47,989 That was the Taimar. 824 00:57:48,024 --> 00:57:51,016 Because it wasn't a little burst, was it? 825 00:57:51,051 --> 00:57:54,008 It was a few decades. 1947, TVR started. 826 00:57:54,043 --> 00:57:56,033 Same as Land Rover. 827 00:57:56,068 --> 00:58:01,060 That is actually a part of the manufacturing process there dumped on the floor. 828 00:58:01,095 --> 00:58:04,096 A huge amount of work went into making that. 829 00:58:10,056 --> 00:58:13,040 Isn't that the mould for the bonnet of your car? 830 00:58:18,092 --> 00:58:23,088 There's nothing quieter than a no-longer-functioning factory, is there? 831 00:58:23,123 --> 00:58:26,036 It's particularly noticeable quiet. 832 00:58:26,071 --> 00:58:28,028 I hate it. 833 00:58:30,016 --> 00:58:33,004 My car was in here once, though. Yeah. 834 00:58:33,039 --> 00:58:35,053 Going through here, being built. 835 00:58:35,088 --> 00:58:39,092 And it was all new and somebody was very excited about it somewhere. 836 00:58:39,127 --> 00:58:43,068 My TVR is coming next week, it's an S2. 837 00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,084 What have you found? Some more Nobby work? 838 00:58:53,119 --> 00:58:55,025 Yeah! Oh, really? 839 00:58:55,060 --> 00:58:57,020 I'll lean on that bit. 840 00:58:57,055 --> 00:58:59,057 JAMES LAUGHS 841 00:58:59,092 --> 00:59:03,004 Oh, that's really sad. Let me just see what the word was? 842 00:59:03,039 --> 00:59:04,056 I thought so! 843 00:59:08,016 --> 00:59:11,076 'It was horrible to walk round this industrial wilderness. 844 00:59:11,111 --> 00:59:13,045 'There were so many memories, 845 00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:16,040 'so many thoughts of what might have been. 846 00:59:50,052 --> 00:59:56,044 'There are, of course, good reasons why almost all these great names are gone. 847 01:00:00,012 --> 01:00:05,036 'But after our journey across the width of Britain, 848 01:00:05,071 --> 01:00:08,032 'we really couldn't remember what they were. ' 849 01:00:16,032 --> 01:00:18,052 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 850 01:00:21,088 --> 01:00:26,550 The weird thing is, I think, when you drive a car like that, 851 01:00:26,585 --> 01:00:32,012 you actually can't help becoming a bit misty-eyed and wistful. 852 01:00:32,047 --> 01:00:34,965 You drive them really with rose-tinted spectacles on. 853 01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:39,000 Exactly, and there was a little piece of music in the first part of the film 854 01:00:39,035 --> 01:00:41,057 that summed it up perfectly, they are diamond dogs. 855 01:00:41,092 --> 01:00:47,064 You are exactly right. And I have to say, this hurts, but, Richard, I think yours was the best. 856 01:00:47,099 --> 01:00:51,064 No, I think James's was the best. No, I have to disagreewith both of you. 857 01:00:51,099 --> 01:00:54,969 Your car was definitely the best. It was superb. 858 01:00:55,004 --> 01:00:59,008 Why don't we just say that they wereall the best? Let's agree on that. 859 01:00:59,043 --> 01:01:02,072 And on that unusually harmonious bombshell, it is time to end, 860 01:01:02,107 --> 01:01:05,040 not just the programme, but the whole series. 861 01:01:05,075 --> 01:01:07,028 Thank you so much for watching. 862 01:01:07,063 --> 01:01:09,055 Take care. See you soon. 863 01:01:09,090 --> 01:01:11,048 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 864 01:01:12,048 --> 01:01:22,048 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org