1 00:00:11,863 --> 00:00:17,218 Tonight, a dog won't get in a car... A flipchart falls over. 2 00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:21,630 And a man from Liverpool drives a car. 3 00:00:28,067 --> 00:00:29,319 Thank you, everybody! 4 00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:34,147 Thank you. Hello, hello! Thank you so much. 5 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:38,210 Can I just say how nice it is to be back where we belong 6 00:00:38,465 --> 00:00:40,853 BBC 2, 8 o'clock, Sunday night. 7 00:00:41,269 --> 00:00:44,054 Unless, of course, somebody's organised a snooker tournament 8 00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:45,956 in which case, happy Easter. 9 00:00:47,384 --> 00:00:55,198 And isn't the iPlayer... brilliant...when it freezes? 10 00:00:56,836 --> 00:00:58,192 Broadband connection. 11 00:00:58,827 --> 00:01:02,285 What I'd like to do is shove it up British Telecom's... 12 00:01:03,983 --> 00:01:07,493 We start tonight with the Ariel Atom. 13 00:01:07,889 --> 00:01:12,101 Now, there is a new, much f-a-a-a-a-ster version 14 00:01:12,411 --> 00:01:14,333 which has come along recently. 15 00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:17,501 And there was only one man to test it for us. 16 00:01:17,743 --> 00:01:19,788 He was born in a stable. 17 00:01:20,043 --> 00:01:23,050 And his name is James May. 18 00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:31,060 This is it, you'll be able to spot it in a crowd 19 00:01:31,186 --> 00:01:37,330 by virtue of its gold wheels, its gold chassis 20 00:01:37,733 --> 00:01:40,581 its F1-style engine cover 21 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:46,293 and by the engine underneath it, which is now a 3L V8. 22 00:01:52,601 --> 00:01:54,061 Now the normal rules are. 23 00:01:54,257 --> 00:01:56,338 If you've got a big, heavy car, and you want it to go fast. 24 00:01:56,512 --> 00:01:58,479 You have to put a big, powerful engine in it. 25 00:01:59,774 --> 00:02:01,905 If you've got a small, light car, and you want it to go fast. 26 00:02:02,114 --> 00:02:03,901 You don't need to put such a big engine in it. 27 00:02:04,973 --> 00:02:07,387 So what happens if you take a very light car 28 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,618 and put a very big engine in it? 29 00:02:10,904 --> 00:02:12,036 Well, in my case 30 00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,788 you look like a spaniel with its head out of the window. 31 00:02:22,616 --> 00:02:23,906 Lord above! 32 00:02:25,826 --> 00:02:29,592 The old Atom had 275 horsepower. 33 00:02:30,544 --> 00:02:32,111 This one has 500 horsepower 34 00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:36,032 and it only weighs 550kg 35 00:02:38,028 --> 00:02:40,507 which means it has a power-to-weight figure 36 00:02:40,556 --> 00:02:43,855 of over 900 horsepower per ton. 37 00:02:46,452 --> 00:02:48,780 So in Top Gear maths, it's twice as powerful 38 00:02:49,153 --> 00:02:52,528 as a Bugatti Veyron or a Ferrari Enzo. 39 00:02:57,384 --> 00:03:01,261 But the Atom is not just a rocket bolted to a roller-skate. 40 00:03:01,613 --> 00:03:03,141 It's a bit more clever than that. 41 00:03:04,805 --> 00:03:07,635 These little paddles, for example, will shift 42 00:03:07,805 --> 00:03:10,690 the sequential gears in four hundredths of a second 43 00:03:10,964 --> 00:03:13,597 or so quickly that there's no appreciable drop in power 44 00:03:13,753 --> 00:03:16,946 to the rear wheels, and that helps you go from 0-60 45 00:03:17,193 --> 00:03:19,505 in something like 2.5 seconds. 46 00:03:21,508 --> 00:03:25,852 And now, let's bring all those numbers to life with a practical demonstration. 47 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:30,386 Here we have a small selection of supercars from around the world. 48 00:03:30,642 --> 00:03:32,946 From Japan, the Lexus LFA 49 00:03:32,991 --> 00:03:36,876 340,000 pounds, bristling with science. 50 00:03:37,268 --> 00:03:40,540 From Italy, the latest lightweight Lamborghini Gallardo 51 00:03:40,660 --> 00:03:43,228 180,000 pounds. 52 00:03:43,293 --> 00:03:46,149 Both of them with over 550 horsepower 53 00:03:46,471 --> 00:03:50,661 and both of them packed with supercar technology and the pride of nations. 54 00:03:51,169 --> 00:03:54,837 So let's see how they do against the Atom in a race 55 00:03:55,230 --> 00:03:59,797 from 0 to 100 to 0. 56 00:04:18,763 --> 00:04:19,861 And there we are. 57 00:04:21,474 --> 00:04:26,790 Look how this cottage industry supercar mocks the conceit of empires. 58 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,409 Ha-ha! 59 00:04:30,154 --> 00:04:33,846 However, since we're on this built-in-a-shed David 60 00:04:34,004 --> 00:04:36,178 versus big-business Goliath theme 61 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:39,744 I have a confession to make... on the Atom's behalf. 62 00:04:40,401 --> 00:04:45,988 Now the standard Atom with 275 horsepower, costs 30,000 pounds. 63 00:04:46,423 --> 00:04:51,430 This one, with 500 horsepower, costs 150,000 pounds. 64 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,396 And even the seasoned Top Gear film crew 65 00:04:55,585 --> 00:04:59,588 were quite surprised by what you get for your 150 grand. 66 00:05:00,035 --> 00:05:02,379 Is there a radio? No. (So no subwoofer? ) 67 00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:06,952 Hands-free kit? What? "Hands-free"... No. No. 68 00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,527 Glovebox? No glovebox. 69 00:05:09,013 --> 00:05:11,150 Is it central locking? No, there's no doors. 70 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:11,953 Where's the spare wheel? 71 00:05:12,056 --> 00:05:14,328 I don't think there is a spare wheel. There's no boot. 72 00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:17,217 Cup holder? Nope, no cup holder. 73 00:05:17,416 --> 00:05:18,307 Cruise control? No. 74 00:05:18,678 --> 00:05:20,284 Somebody pay your sunglasses? No. 75 00:05:20,569 --> 00:05:23,962 Your iPhone plugs in surely? No. Tow bar? No. 76 00:05:26,365 --> 00:05:31,186 The fact is, with this car, you're paying for supergeek levels of engineering. 77 00:05:32,392 --> 00:05:36,803 The bespoke engine and gearbox alone cost 50,000 pounds. 78 00:05:37,079 --> 00:05:39,036 And then you've got the magnesium wheels 79 00:05:39,318 --> 00:05:43,799 and the on-board computers that set the car up for individual owners. 80 00:05:46,698 --> 00:05:50,026 Also, the Atom V8 had a difficult and costly birth. 81 00:05:51,847 --> 00:05:54,630 Early attempts at the V8 were absolutely brutal. 82 00:05:55,664 --> 00:05:58,221 They were only really fit for track-day bores 83 00:05:58,398 --> 00:06:00,300 who wanted to drone on in the pub 84 00:06:00,513 --> 00:06:03,799 about how they'd driven something that was undrivable. 85 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:08,317 So they went back to the drawing board. And then they got this. 86 00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:16,117 Not that. This. 87 00:06:19,539 --> 00:06:23,085 A hardcore car with a heart of pure gold 88 00:06:25,316 --> 00:06:29,537 I love the steering in this thing it's fantastically immediate 89 00:06:30,499 --> 00:06:32,957 I'm just thinking my way through bends, really. 90 00:06:35,886 --> 00:06:38,498 It's as crisp as a bag of crisps. 91 00:06:40,499 --> 00:06:46,394 In fact, driving the V8 Atom is one of the great motoring experiences of my life 92 00:06:46,709 --> 00:06:49,774 which is an excellent thought on which to end this film. 93 00:06:54,382 --> 00:06:56,532 Unfortunately, it isn't the end. 94 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,548 In fact, things get a bit tricky for me now. 95 00:06:58,747 --> 00:07:02,076 Because when Jeremy tested the original Atom several years ago 96 00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:05,456 he had a race round the track against a fast motorcycle. 97 00:07:05,673 --> 00:07:07,905 And the producers enjoyed this so much 98 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:12,992 they've ordered me to do the same thing again. Hm... 99 00:07:13,939 --> 00:07:17,734 The thing is, since this Atom is considerably faster than the old one 100 00:07:18,084 --> 00:07:20,839 it'll be up against a considerably faster bike. 101 00:07:21,653 --> 00:07:28,459 The BMW S1000RR, the world's most powerful road bike. 102 00:07:29,295 --> 00:07:33,671 And whereas Jeremy raced against a normal road-going motorcycle enthusiast 103 00:07:33,882 --> 00:07:35,183 I won't be... 104 00:07:35,828 --> 00:07:40,816 No, I'll be against British EVO Superbike champion Steve Brogan. 105 00:07:42,303 --> 00:07:45,377 Now, I thought this was unfair and I protested. 106 00:07:45,562 --> 00:07:48,834 I said the Atom should also be driven by a proper racing driver. 107 00:07:49,037 --> 00:07:52,746 But the producers said, "No, it must be a Top Gear presenter" 108 00:07:53,595 --> 00:07:55,590 So...here we go. 109 00:07:55,963 --> 00:07:58,256 Oh, sorry mate, sorry. 110 00:07:58,707 --> 00:08:04,490 Anyway, undo that strap, stick it on your head, nice. 111 00:08:15,093 --> 00:08:18,639 And I'm off! No, he's going past. 112 00:08:20,893 --> 00:08:23,218 We've got roughly the same power-to-weight ratio. 113 00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:26,386 This is going to be about corners. 114 00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:30,398 Got a bit of drive out of the corner on me there. 115 00:08:30,526 --> 00:08:33,765 But I think I'm catching him again, round Chicago. 116 00:08:33,873 --> 00:08:36,350 Been given a good beating there by Hammerhead. Here we go. 117 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:45,178 Hard on the brakes. Turning in. 118 00:08:48,705 --> 00:08:51,437 He can't get his power down in the corners like I can. 119 00:08:57,159 --> 00:08:58,869 Down to the Follow Through, flat out. 120 00:09:05,695 --> 00:09:09,959 Got to keep it right. Full power! 121 00:09:13,981 --> 00:09:14,829 I'm gaining... 122 00:09:18,014 --> 00:09:20,633 I've gone past, I've gone past! 123 00:09:20,723 --> 00:09:22,602 Into the second-to-last corner. 124 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,277 Here we go for the last corner. Don't muck it up! 125 00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:29,640 And across the line! 126 00:09:35,558 --> 00:09:36,747 Cheers, Tiff. 127 00:09:37,798 --> 00:09:39,238 No problem, James, any time you want me. 128 00:09:39,397 --> 00:09:40,161 Thanks. 129 00:09:40,243 --> 00:09:42,089 Do you want this shirt back? 130 00:09:42,385 --> 00:09:45,198 Yes, please. Pretty sure you don't want it. 131 00:09:45,299 --> 00:09:47,892 No, you're right. 132 00:09:51,074 --> 00:09:53,144 You cheat. Cheat. 133 00:09:54,465 --> 00:09:59,806 Now, listen... Seven million YouTube watchers 134 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,962 will testify to the fact that when I drove an Atom 135 00:10:02,262 --> 00:10:04,602 it completely ruined my face. 136 00:10:05,002 --> 00:10:07,613 -Ruined? -Ruined! I used to look like Pierce Brosnan 137 00:10:09,013 --> 00:10:11,404 was a ladies' man. Now they're just sick when they see me. 138 00:10:11,623 --> 00:10:15,026 But the thing is, this one obviously is a lot faster than the one I drove. 139 00:10:15,389 --> 00:10:19,973 But you look just as hideous now as you did when you got into it 140 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:24,459 I think that's partly because my face isn't as flabby as yours. 141 00:10:24,873 --> 00:10:27,396 But it's also...it's also... 142 00:10:31,936 --> 00:10:33,907 No, listen, it's also... It is partly that. 143 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,793 But it's partly because I drove it with this windscreen on. 144 00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:38,228 -Oh, yeah. - I know it doesn't look like much. 145 00:10:38,306 --> 00:10:39,396 It's just a little piece of Perspex. 146 00:10:39,548 --> 00:10:42,838 But that is enough to stop people ending up looking like you. 147 00:10:44,781 --> 00:10:45,751 Interesting point, good. 148 00:10:45,939 --> 00:10:48,075 Now I have actually driven the V8, I must say. 149 00:10:48,531 --> 00:10:50,967 And my abiding memory is one of understeer. 150 00:10:51,254 --> 00:10:53,726 Yes, you're right actrally because you do get to a fast corner 151 00:10:53,858 --> 00:10:57,304 and you turn the wheel more sort of... It's more in hope than expectation, really. 152 00:10:57,511 --> 00:11:01,063 Exactly, which is why, to find out how fast it goes round our track 153 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:05,154 -we need a man who has no fear. -And no face. 154 00:11:05,363 --> 00:11:08,439 Absolutely, no face. Now you may remember 155 00:11:08,818 --> 00:11:11,939 in our Christmas Special, we found... Well, we sparked fury in fact 156 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:16,907 when we found a baby Stig in a manger in Bethlehem. 157 00:11:17,116 --> 00:11:21,066 The thing is, though, that was only one month ago. 158 00:11:21,507 --> 00:11:24,696 Now you're probably thinking there's no way that a car like the V8 Atom 159 00:11:25,112 --> 00:11:28,601 could be handled by a mewling, puking infant. 160 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:32,650 But the good news is Stigs grow up very quickly. 161 00:11:32,885 --> 00:11:34,353 They do, they do. 162 00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:37,390 He's already been to school. There he is. 163 00:11:38,686 --> 00:11:40,917 He's been a teenager. 164 00:11:41,946 --> 00:11:45,409 Got a photograph of him here at university. 165 00:11:46,529 --> 00:11:50,373 Soon he will be old enough to get a job on Countryfile. 166 00:11:50,623 --> 00:11:54,497 But now, he's here and he's ready to go to work. 167 00:11:54,791 --> 00:11:58,485 So everyone please welcome, Top Gear's new Stig! 168 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:04,951 And he's off. Firing up the straight like a microbe. 169 00:12:05,153 --> 00:12:08,780 The Atom's 3L V8 is actually two motorbike engines stuck together. 170 00:12:09,251 --> 00:12:11,503 Here he comes, powering it into the first corner. 171 00:12:11,711 --> 00:12:16,016 Will it understeer? No, it will not, and...Oh, the tail's coming out. 172 00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:23,073 Stig playing the wheel like a saxophone there. Chicago. 173 00:12:23,347 --> 00:12:25,685 Now there is some understeer. 174 00:12:26,064 --> 00:12:28,780 But he's sorted it out with a bootful of power. 175 00:12:29,066 --> 00:12:30,182 Coming up into Hammerhead. 176 00:12:30,362 --> 00:12:32,989 This really will show up its chassis flaws, if there are any. 177 00:12:33,490 --> 00:12:35,104 Yeah, look, he's watching the speed. 178 00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:39,601 But again, he's got it all sorted out like a Japanese lunatic. 179 00:12:40,804 --> 00:12:42,934 Look at him. If New Stig keeps growing at this rate 180 00:12:43,057 --> 00:12:44,639 he'll be 100 feet tall by Easter. 181 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,857 Follow Through, really getting the hammer down now. 182 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,770 Is he actually having to put opposite lock on there? I think he was. 183 00:12:52,818 --> 00:12:56,754 Stig, though, not fazed even slightly. More tail kicking out there. 184 00:12:56,902 --> 00:13:00,119 Second-to-last corner, beautifully handled. 185 00:13:00,397 --> 00:13:04,431 And Gambon, sliding it through and across the line. 186 00:13:05,538 --> 00:13:11,843 Now...we should explain, we have tried the new Stig out in a range of cars 187 00:13:12,214 --> 00:13:16,401 and his times are broadly similar to those set by Sacked Stig. 188 00:13:16,664 --> 00:13:18,790 Yeah, we should also point out that the Atom V8 is 189 00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:22,355 within a shout of becoming the fastest ever car round our track 190 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:27,880 which means, of course, beating the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport at 1:16.8. 191 00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:36,421 Yep, and it did it, I can scarcely believe this, in 1:15.1. 192 00:13:38,689 --> 00:13:42,283 That is unbelievable. What a car. 193 00:13:44,829 --> 00:13:51,154 That is not bad, considering it was being driven by a Stig that's only 34-days-old. 194 00:13:52,169 --> 00:13:54,858 Now, just before we do the news 195 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,928 we thought you might want to take a quick look at this. 196 00:13:57,277 --> 00:13:59,409 It's the Jaguar CX75. 197 00:13:59,584 --> 00:14:02,944 And it's kind of Jaguar's 75th birthday present to itself. 198 00:14:03,408 --> 00:14:06,278 And, well, I mean, it is a bit of a looker. 199 00:14:06,561 --> 00:14:09,681 And it's full of little references to great Jaguar cars of the past. 200 00:14:09,851 --> 00:14:13,621 This fin refers back to the massive fin on top of the old D-type 201 00:14:13,788 --> 00:14:15,544 and then the back has been styled 202 00:14:15,545 --> 00:14:20,601 to have something of the old Jaguar XJ13, a one-off of the 1960s, about it. 203 00:14:21,174 --> 00:14:24,088 But here's a thing. In a modern world, there's no denying I think. 204 00:14:24,206 --> 00:14:26,417 That is a thing of beauty to behold. 205 00:14:26,771 --> 00:14:29,301 But that beauty is much more than skin-deep. 206 00:14:29,498 --> 00:14:32,797 Absolutely. This is, in fact, an electric car. 207 00:14:32,953 --> 00:14:35,681 There is an electric motor powering each wheel. 208 00:14:35,797 --> 00:14:39,046 But you don't have to plug it into the mains to charge it up. 209 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:39,972 Because if we look in the back 210 00:14:40,235 --> 00:14:44,391 we see a pair of gas turbines, jet engines, if you like. 211 00:14:44,830 --> 00:14:49,147 They can either generate electricity to recharge the batteries and increase the range. 212 00:14:49,295 --> 00:14:52,736 Or they can feed power directly to the motors in the wheels 213 00:14:52,914 --> 00:14:57,405 in which case this car develops 780 brake horsepower. 214 00:14:57,598 --> 00:15:01,233 And the other remarkable thing it has is a big spanner. 215 00:15:01,441 --> 00:15:04,784 Hello! Yes, inside it's all very modern, very cool. 216 00:15:04,954 --> 00:15:08,889 This mood lighting shows the driver which seat to sit in, I imagine. 217 00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:11,250 And if you hit the buttons, you can scroll through different modes. 218 00:15:11,382 --> 00:15:13,944 And if you put it in Track, it'll dim all the lights 219 00:15:14,075 --> 00:15:16,442 so the driver can focus on driving. 220 00:15:16,599 --> 00:15:19,266 And it's got these great door handles that are like ejector seat levers. 221 00:15:19,382 --> 00:15:22,232 And then when you want to get comfortable to really get down to the driving 222 00:15:22,387 --> 00:15:24,978 you don't move your seat about, you move the instrument binnacle 223 00:15:25,182 --> 00:15:27,388 the steering wheel and pedal box back towards you 224 00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:29,265 or forwards like this, to suit the driver. 225 00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:32,430 Obviously in my case, it's going to be coming this way quite a lot 226 00:15:33,763 --> 00:15:40,021 Jaguar say this would do 0-60 in 3.4 seconds and 205 mph. 227 00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:43,029 And the great thing is that the gas turbines will run 228 00:15:43,165 --> 00:15:46,090 on pretty much any flammable liquid, so you could fuel it 229 00:15:46,223 --> 00:15:49,306 with petrol or with diesel or if you wanted to save yourself 230 00:15:49,353 --> 00:15:52,132 quite a bit of money, single malt Scotch whisky. 231 00:15:53,845 --> 00:15:56,586 Now there are just two problems really, as I see it, with the Jaguar. 232 00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,427 One, it doesn't actually work. 233 00:15:58,611 --> 00:16:01,414 And two, they'll never make it. But don't worry. 234 00:16:01,636 --> 00:16:04,822 Because if you want to buy something very exciting 235 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:08,019 the Lancia Stratos is back! 236 00:16:08,478 --> 00:16:10,132 Here it is. Here it is 237 00:16:11,601 --> 00:16:14,077 I know. It's one of the greatest cars ever made, the Stratos. 238 00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:17,049 What they do to create this one, take a Ferrari 430 239 00:16:17,191 --> 00:16:18,890 remove the hideous body... 240 00:16:18,907 --> 00:16:20,543 -Oh, I'm sorry, James, I forgot you've got one -Thank you... 241 00:16:20,602 --> 00:16:24,601 -Anyway, they removed the foul, disgusting body... -Yes, all right! 242 00:16:24,941 --> 00:16:27,773 And fit that new one. I just think that's fantastic. 243 00:16:27,908 --> 00:16:29,621 How much is it? Half a million quid. 244 00:16:29,835 --> 00:16:32,692 Oh, that's... If that's a bit rich, don't worry. 245 00:16:32,888 --> 00:16:35,656 Because the Jensen Interceptor is back! 246 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,699 Oh, yes. There's a car! That genuinely is amazing. 247 00:16:39,830 --> 00:16:41,909 What you do is you take an old Jensen Interceptor 248 00:16:42,095 --> 00:16:43,349 to a factory in Banbury 249 00:16:43,518 --> 00:16:46,150 give the man there a check for 105,000 pounds. 250 00:16:46,301 --> 00:16:49,663 And in exchange, he'll fit a Corvette engine, new brakes 251 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:53,251 new interior, better rear suspension. And you end up with that. 252 00:16:53,456 --> 00:16:56,130 So that's all new underneath? Yeah it's basically a new car. 253 00:16:56,292 --> 00:16:58,573 You'd actually be able to say to your wife. 254 00:16:58,765 --> 00:17:01,177 Shall we take the Interceptor tonight, darling? 255 00:17:01,959 --> 00:17:03,538 You just... You want to do that 256 00:17:03,699 --> 00:17:05,737 I'd change my name to Captain Stingray if I... 257 00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:10,348 That is an amazing looking car. My grandfather used to build them. 258 00:17:10,786 --> 00:17:13,941 Oh, well, don't bother then. In Birmingham? 259 00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:14,894 He did. 260 00:17:15,177 --> 00:17:16,868 Hey, now there is a new Lamborghini on the way. 261 00:17:16,984 --> 00:17:19,880 It's so secret and so new, we don't even have a picture of it yet. 262 00:17:20,036 --> 00:17:23,096 But we can tell you that it's the replacement for the Murcielago 263 00:17:23,237 --> 00:17:25,926 and it's going to have a 700 horsepower V12 264 00:17:26,056 --> 00:17:30,024 I fear, though, it's going to be rather overshadowed by this, OK. 265 00:17:30,152 --> 00:17:32,172 Now this is a new American car. 266 00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:36,253 And let me just give you the headlines, if I may. 267 00:17:36,385 --> 00:17:38,471 Horsepower, 2,000. 268 00:17:38,635 --> 00:17:41,129 So that's twice what you get from a Bugatti Veyron. 269 00:17:41,263 --> 00:17:43,345 Top speed, 300 miles an hour 270 00:17:43,494 --> 00:17:46,854 0-60 mph, 1.5 seconds. 271 00:17:47,023 --> 00:17:49,058 And it holds the lap records, as we can see here 272 00:17:49,214 --> 00:17:52,560 at the Nurburgring and the Virginia International Raceway. 273 00:17:52,722 --> 00:17:56,569 Hold on a second! 0-60, 1.5 seconds? Yep. 274 00:17:56,713 --> 00:17:58,961 Why haven't we heard about this? I don't know. 275 00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:01,146 Probably because the bloke who did it swallowed his tongue. 276 00:18:02,634 --> 00:18:05,123 He's still stuck down the back of the driver's seat, they can't fish him out. 277 00:18:05,264 --> 00:18:09,482 Oh, no, no! I apologise, I apologise! I hadn't read this thoroughly. 278 00:18:12,238 --> 00:18:14,687 Look at that. You look at this, and here it is. Those are the things, horsepower... 279 00:18:14,962 --> 00:18:18,016 "We will not quit until we achieve these goals" 280 00:18:18,143 --> 00:18:21,746 It's just a wish-list? It's just a wish-list of things. No... 281 00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:23,777 The biggest problem with this car, though, is its name. 282 00:18:23,914 --> 00:18:27,932 What, Is it called the Scrotum? The Sweatcrack? 283 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:31,304 It's called the Dagger. Well, that's all right. 284 00:18:31,479 --> 00:18:32,612 That's quite a good name. 285 00:18:32,683 --> 00:18:39,361 No, no! "dagger" like a little piece of poo stuck in a sheep's anal shrubbery. 286 00:18:40,425 --> 00:18:41,224 What?! That's a dagger. 287 00:18:41,666 --> 00:18:43,141 It's not a dagger. It is! 288 00:18:43,305 --> 00:18:45,880 No, that's a dingleberry you're thinking of. 289 00:18:46,327 --> 00:18:47,737 Klingon, dingleberry... 290 00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:50,984 It's not a dagger. Nobody's ever stood over a body 291 00:18:51,253 --> 00:18:52,451 and said, "What was the weapon?" 292 00:18:52,612 --> 00:18:54,821 "I think he used a dingleberry from the state of the body" 293 00:18:54,951 --> 00:18:57,993 It's not in Cluedo. Certain words, they have two meanings. 294 00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,297 A dagger is not a dingleberry. It is! 295 00:19:00,438 --> 00:19:03,652 Lady Macbeth didn't say, "Is this a dingleberry I see before me?" 296 00:19:03,888 --> 00:19:05,067 Turns out it's a great name. 297 00:19:05,191 --> 00:19:07,477 And if they can achieve all their goals, it'll be a fantastic car. 298 00:19:07,722 --> 00:19:10,545 Now that's enough new cars, it really is enough new cars. 299 00:19:10,688 --> 00:19:13,722 Because obviously the big news at the moment, fuel prices. 300 00:19:13,859 --> 00:19:17,385 And if I could just be serious for a moment. The problem we've got is. 301 00:19:17,512 --> 00:19:20,640 Yes, the Government could bring the tax down and therefore cut the costs. 302 00:19:20,772 --> 00:19:21,621 That would be very popular. 303 00:19:21,731 --> 00:19:26,472 But we think the overall trend must, from now on, be up. 304 00:19:26,597 --> 00:19:29,987 Because getting oil out of the ground is becoming more and more complicated. 305 00:19:30,092 --> 00:19:31,648 You have to get it out of sand in Canada and so on. 306 00:19:31,782 --> 00:19:33,852 And so prices have to keep increasing. 307 00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:37,999 And what worries me most of all is that we've always thought 308 00:19:38,126 --> 00:19:40,972 that by the time petrol becomes so expensive we can't afford it any more 309 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:45,403 science will have come up with a solution. And I don't think science has. 310 00:19:45,598 --> 00:19:48,298 No. I think at the moment we are all imagining that we're just about to see 311 00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:50,832 a whole new generation of electric cars that will solve it. 312 00:19:50,973 --> 00:19:53,635 But the fact is, from everything we've seen, from our experience thus far. 313 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,433 The electric car isn't ready. They don't work in the real world yet. 314 00:19:57,566 --> 00:20:02,392 How long would it take you, for example, to get from here to your house in an electric car? 315 00:20:02,553 --> 00:20:04,569 Cos the range, I'd have to stop halfway and recharge. 316 00:20:04,692 --> 00:20:06,173 It's two days to get home. 317 00:20:06,351 --> 00:20:08,686 So, I'll pop home and get something, that's a 4 days... 318 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:09,546 2 days to come back. 319 00:20:09,759 --> 00:20:11,392 We can't use public transport. 320 00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:14,888 Because aeroplanes are grounded by a volcanic burp near the Arctic Circle. 321 00:20:15,122 --> 00:20:19,871 Trains don't work in the autumn or on a Tuesday, buses are full of murderers. 322 00:20:20,601 --> 00:20:24,093 Really, the car is the only solution. For now, yeah. 323 00:20:24,230 --> 00:20:27,438 And now it's getting to the point that nobody can afford to fill them up with fuel. 324 00:20:27,576 --> 00:20:29,675 To be brutally honest, the only real solution 325 00:20:29,833 --> 00:20:32,416 to keeping fuel prices down is population control. 326 00:20:32,852 --> 00:20:35,644 What, we nuke China? No, not... 327 00:20:35,825 --> 00:20:37,876 James May's fuel price solution! 328 00:20:38,009 --> 00:20:40,043 Not "kill people"... 329 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,422 Well, fair enough, think about it. How many people are there in France? 330 00:20:42,561 --> 00:20:44,879 About the same as here, 60 million. 331 00:20:44,996 --> 00:20:46,419 We don't need all of them, surely? 332 00:20:47,361 --> 00:20:49,558 I'm not talking about a pogrom. Oh, sorry 333 00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:51,933 I'm talking about limiting the rate at which the population expands. 334 00:20:52,239 --> 00:20:53,553 Oh no. So you're saying that 335 00:20:53,679 --> 00:20:56,383 because I've got three children, I'm causing fuel prices to go up. 336 00:20:56,581 --> 00:21:00,588 And because you spill your seed alone... 337 00:21:03,432 --> 00:21:07,288 Rather than killing everybody in France and not having any babies. 338 00:21:07,483 --> 00:21:10,310 How about this for a much better idea to keep fuel prices down? 339 00:21:10,438 --> 00:21:13,424 No... individually. What about "never brake"? 340 00:21:14,717 --> 00:21:17,949 I think I know what you mean, You burn fuel to get your car up to speed 341 00:21:18,301 --> 00:21:19,291 and then the moment you hit the brakes, 342 00:21:19,388 --> 00:21:20,940 you are scrubbing that speed off and throwing it away. 343 00:21:21,021 --> 00:21:23,548 Well, I mean, actually, you do have a point there. 344 00:21:23,747 --> 00:21:25,476 You really should bear it in mind when you're driving 345 00:21:25,606 --> 00:21:29,043 particularly with petrol at whatever it is, 5.68 pounds a gallon. 346 00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:31,966 Every time you press the brake pedal 347 00:21:32,049 --> 00:21:35,758 you are turning your money into heat, pointless heat. 348 00:21:35,859 --> 00:21:39,100 You're heating your wheel arches, which is an absolute waste of time. 349 00:21:39,211 --> 00:21:43,072 So if you just think, "OK, What I'm going to do is I'm going lift my foot off the accelerator" 350 00:21:43,192 --> 00:21:44,990 Keep the car in gear, and if it's a modern car. 351 00:21:45,121 --> 00:21:48,605 As you slow down for the roundabout, the traffic lights, whatever it might be 352 00:21:48,713 --> 00:21:51,962 you're not using any fuel at all, Top Gear top tip. 353 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,622 Braking is actually the worst thing you can do. 354 00:21:54,910 --> 00:21:58,192 Actually, I'd like to modify that, sometimes it's the best thing you can do. 355 00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,200 Yeah, yeah... 356 00:21:59,767 --> 00:22:02,166 For example, if a pram rolls out in front of the car, don't think. 357 00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:03,507 "Well, this is going to cost me." 358 00:22:04,877 --> 00:22:05,899 Stop the car. 359 00:22:06,113 --> 00:22:10,301 If a pram rolls out, stop, but then send the mother the invoice. 360 00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:14,023 Right, that's the end of the news. And now, moving on. 361 00:22:14,219 --> 00:22:16,096 Yes, now, whilst we were off-air, unfortunately, 362 00:22:16,150 --> 00:22:18,555 we had a bit of an argument 363 00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:22,702 because you see, Jeremy decided that the best car in the world 364 00:22:22,871 --> 00:22:24,603 was the Skoda Yeti. 365 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,401 Well, it is. Well, it isn't. 366 00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:28,936 It is. I'm sorry, it isn't. 367 00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:32,418 Well, no, it maybe is if perhaps you're... 368 00:22:32,574 --> 00:22:36,099 old enough to qualify for membership of SAGA, which you are. 369 00:22:36,575 --> 00:22:37,700 He is, he is... 370 00:22:37,862 --> 00:22:41,966 With age comes...Well, actually, on Countryfile comes the sack. 371 00:22:42,122 --> 00:22:45,327 But with age on this programme comes wisdom. 372 00:22:45,492 --> 00:22:48,346 And the wisdom that I now have has taught me 373 00:22:48,466 --> 00:22:53,461 that the Yeti does every single thing better than every other car on the market. 374 00:22:53,602 --> 00:22:57,249 Coming up now is a film which shall prove my point. 375 00:23:01,099 --> 00:23:03,328 This is the car I'm talking about. 376 00:23:06,652 --> 00:23:11,208 The Yeti, 14 feet of Czech magnificence. 377 00:23:12,186 --> 00:23:16,437 It's available with two or four-wheel drive, petrol or diesel engines 378 00:23:16,610 --> 00:23:21,578 and lots of exciting buttons which do many things. 379 00:23:21,887 --> 00:23:27,497 This model is a four-wheel drive, 1.8L Elegance, which, at 22,000 pounds 380 00:23:27,663 --> 00:23:33,631 is less expensive than a 1.7L two-wheel drive Vauxhall Astra estate 381 00:23:33,773 --> 00:23:35,783 and not much more than a Focus. 382 00:23:37,562 --> 00:23:39,668 And there's more room in it than there is in a Focus as well 383 00:23:39,821 --> 00:23:40,925 I mean, look at the headroom. 384 00:23:41,057 --> 00:23:44,354 You could have a massive Afro, not damage it at all. 385 00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:49,786 But is it roomier than a 300,000 pounds Maybach? 386 00:23:52,689 --> 00:23:54,748 Well, this is a Maybach. 387 00:23:55,828 --> 00:24:01,036 And as you can see, it will take four people in sumptuous comfort. 388 00:24:03,423 --> 00:24:05,130 The Yeti can also take four. 389 00:24:05,364 --> 00:24:09,701 But if you fold the rear drinks tray away, there's room for five 390 00:24:09,905 --> 00:24:15,854 on seats which slide forwards and backwards, or fold down, roll over 391 00:24:16,036 --> 00:24:19,963 or can be removed altogether to create a van. 392 00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:25,087 The Yeti, then, is more practical than a Maybach. 393 00:24:25,308 --> 00:24:29,557 But is it faster than an Italian supercar? 394 00:24:31,814 --> 00:24:35,244 Well, to find out, we've come to the Donington motor-racing track 395 00:24:35,391 --> 00:24:42,100 where the Yeti will have a one-lap race against a Ferrari 308 GTS. 396 00:24:45,991 --> 00:24:53,034 To ensure there's no bias, I shall be driving the Yeti with my fists of ham and my fingers of butter 397 00:24:53,222 --> 00:24:56,877 while the Ferrari will be driven by His Stigness. 398 00:25:03,249 --> 00:25:06,309 Want a tip? Bet on me 399 00:25:14,159 --> 00:25:16,054 Ferrari a little quicker off the line. 400 00:25:16,184 --> 00:25:20,768 It does 0-60 in 6.7 seconds. This is 8.7s. 401 00:25:20,895 --> 00:25:24,571 But that's not bad for a tall-riding van. 402 00:25:28,714 --> 00:25:36,024 Getting its knee down a bit there in the corners, but nowhere near as much as you might expect. 403 00:25:38,179 --> 00:25:40,380 Four-wheel drive system working now 404 00:25:40,609 --> 00:25:45,238 sending the power to whichever wheel has the most grip. 405 00:25:50,830 --> 00:25:53,945 Eventually, the Ferrari pulled out a bit of a lead. 406 00:25:54,966 --> 00:25:59,088 But I've got a sneaking suspicion its lead is short-lived 407 00:26:06,039 --> 00:26:07,600 I was right. 408 00:26:11,386 --> 00:26:14,561 In various places, Donington was being rebuilt. 409 00:26:16,115 --> 00:26:21,524 So to protect its low nose and fragile fetlocks, the Ferrari had to slow right down. 410 00:26:22,759 --> 00:26:23,944 Whereas I did not. 411 00:26:25,458 --> 00:26:28,661 Look at that! Come on! Go! 412 00:26:29,344 --> 00:26:33,538 He's having to go round the outside, Haha... 413 00:26:34,187 --> 00:26:35,914 The Skoda is in the lead! 414 00:26:42,222 --> 00:26:45,073 Ah, and there we are... 415 00:26:49,262 --> 00:26:54,892 Proof the Yeti is faster round Donington than a Ferrari 308. 416 00:26:56,889 --> 00:27:01,166 But what about toughness? How well is the interior screwed together? 417 00:27:02,826 --> 00:27:08,070 To find out, I'm going to throw this super-bouncy ball into the Yeti 418 00:27:08,403 --> 00:27:15,831 and as it pings around, I'm going to invite this enormous, excitable dog to run in there and retrieve it. 419 00:27:16,422 --> 00:27:19,467 No... not the flies! Getting the flies won't damage the car in any way. 420 00:27:19,599 --> 00:27:20,536 No, stop chasing flies! 421 00:27:20,692 --> 00:27:22,553 Here, look, look... Bouncy ball. 422 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:29,633 Ready? And retrieve! Retrieve! 423 00:27:34,773 --> 00:27:37,340 It's OK. Luckily I have a backup dog. 424 00:27:41,125 --> 00:27:42,568 Fetch! 425 00:27:50,659 --> 00:27:55,685 It's kind of like a mouse in there really. Yeah, it's like a mouse. 426 00:27:55,952 --> 00:27:59,762 If I'm honest, this test hadn't been terribly informative. 427 00:27:59,977 --> 00:28:01,897 So I decided to line up another one. 428 00:28:05,789 --> 00:28:09,403 As we can see, an enormous fire is raging out of control. 429 00:28:09,460 --> 00:28:15,510 And the fire brigade has arrived, but their route to the inferno is blocked by the Skoda 430 00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:17,692 so they're going to have to go through the car itself 431 00:28:17,832 --> 00:28:21,425 with their boots and their hoses and their breathing apparatus 432 00:28:23,081 --> 00:28:25,303 I think if a Yeti can stand up to this, it can certainly stand up to your children's Jammie Dodgers 433 00:28:25,408 --> 00:28:28,650 it can certainly stand up to your children's Jammie Dodgers. 434 00:28:29,435 --> 00:28:32,718 Go, go, go, men, quickly! Go through there. 435 00:28:35,084 --> 00:28:37,340 That fire could set fire to literally anything. 436 00:28:37,397 --> 00:28:39,493 The whole of Derbyshire is at risk here 437 00:28:39,625 --> 00:28:42,100 or Leicestershireor wherever we are, It's at risk. 438 00:28:48,527 --> 00:28:51,748 He's coming out of the window. His enormous boots... 439 00:28:57,413 --> 00:29:02,154 After the terrifying fire had been brought under control, we examined the car 440 00:29:02,272 --> 00:29:06,219 and found that not a single thing had broken or come off. 441 00:29:09,232 --> 00:29:10,884 Onward, then, to the countryside 442 00:29:11,026 --> 00:29:14,887 where we find the Yeti has reinforced underside panels 443 00:29:15,044 --> 00:29:18,341 to protect vital components, such as the brake lines. 444 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:28,343 It also has ABS, EDC, EDB, ASR, EDL, DSR. 445 00:29:28,513 --> 00:29:31,091 And crucially, ESBS. 446 00:29:31,577 --> 00:29:34,287 In short, a lot of acronyms to make sure 447 00:29:34,430 --> 00:29:37,568 that it doesn't run away with you when you're going down a slope 448 00:29:37,691 --> 00:29:41,283 or that it doesn't roll backwards when you're attempting to do a hill start 449 00:29:46,151 --> 00:29:51,042 I meant to do that because now I can demonstrate the HBA. 450 00:29:51,106 --> 00:29:52,308 Ready? Here we go. 451 00:29:52,870 --> 00:29:55,878 See, I've got my foot on the clutch, not on the brake. 452 00:29:56,007 --> 00:29:58,034 Handbrake off and it won't roll back. 453 00:30:00,622 --> 00:30:04,069 That's... Oh, that's impressive. Oh, yes! 454 00:30:06,581 --> 00:30:12,494 And look at this, the sat nav is tracing my route, so when I've had enough of 455 00:30:12,495 --> 00:30:17,531 driving around in the countryside, I can simply follow the route back to where I started from. 456 00:30:17,546 --> 00:30:20,668 That's clever. But what about comfort? 457 00:30:21,051 --> 00:30:24,683 Well, to find out how well the Yeti absorbs the bumps and the bashes 458 00:30:24,834 --> 00:30:28,274 I've stolen an idea from another television programme. 459 00:30:29,496 --> 00:30:32,987 What I'm going to do is drive around some countryside 460 00:30:33,219 --> 00:30:39,296 while the chap on the left over there sits in the back and gives a tattoo to the chap on the right. 461 00:30:39,512 --> 00:30:46,834 And I'm not talking about some holiday henna drawing that he can rub off when he gets home 462 00:30:46,941 --> 00:30:48,811 I'm talking about a real tattoo. 463 00:30:58,856 --> 00:31:01,392 Right. You may begin. 464 00:31:05,647 --> 00:31:09,035 Whoa! Now, Rob... Right! 465 00:31:09,130 --> 00:31:11,170 In terms of pain, where are we? 466 00:31:11,354 --> 00:31:16,810 I'm on about a six out of 10 now... Flipping hell. A what? 467 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:22,786 Whoa! I do apologise... Sorry. 468 00:31:23,747 --> 00:31:28,839 Let me remind you, Rob is getting a real tattoo here. This is not faked. 469 00:31:29,032 --> 00:31:30,990 That may... you may have gone a bit wrong there. 470 00:31:32,378 --> 00:31:35,816 Up front, I thought the Yeti was doing rather well. 471 00:31:36,197 --> 00:31:40,075 Slightly boggy bit here. Sorry 472 00:31:40,296 --> 00:31:45,021 I reckon we can do brain surgery in the back of this car. It's so smooth 473 00:31:45,198 --> 00:31:46,677 I possibly agree with you. 474 00:31:47,479 --> 00:31:52,091 Eventually, the tattoo was finished, so we pulled over to see what it looked like. 475 00:31:52,564 --> 00:31:55,194 Is that blood? Is it bleeding? Yes. Is it bleeding? 476 00:31:55,198 --> 00:31:56,105 You're joking. That's blood. 477 00:31:56,774 --> 00:32:00,997 Now, look at that. I think that's quite good. I think that's amazing! 478 00:32:01,521 --> 00:32:04,603 It does look, not brilliant, but it's really not bad at all. 479 00:32:06,522 --> 00:32:08,136 Well done, mate. I've done worse. 480 00:32:08,477 --> 00:32:11,139 Now, listen, Rob, I'm afraid we've got some bad news for you. 481 00:32:11,299 --> 00:32:14,935 Cos, you see there is a second part to this experiment. 482 00:32:15,043 --> 00:32:16,888 Second part? Yeah, second part. 483 00:32:16,967 --> 00:32:20,511 See, what we're going to do now to demonstrate just how comfortable this is 484 00:32:20,538 --> 00:32:25,556 is put you in the back of another car and then do another clover leaf on the other shoulder. 485 00:32:25,744 --> 00:32:28,248 And then we'll see what that looks like. Really? 486 00:32:39,964 --> 00:32:42,785 You probably think this isn't too bad, yeah? At the moment. 487 00:32:42,990 --> 00:32:44,226 It's all right at the moment. 488 00:32:44,370 --> 00:32:48,252 What I'm going to do, is raise it up now into its off- road setting 489 00:32:48,432 --> 00:32:53,084 and that does have quite a profound affect on the, shall we say, ride quality. 490 00:32:56,023 --> 00:32:58,467 Oh, jiggling, really quite badly. 491 00:32:59,696 --> 00:33:01,864 Ooh, I'm sorry. I do apologise. 492 00:33:04,199 --> 00:33:08,869 There's a lot more pain involved in a rough ride like this, Rob, would you say that? 493 00:33:09,018 --> 00:33:10,251 I would say definitely, yes. 494 00:33:11,570 --> 00:33:14,097 Ah! I've stabbed meself! 495 00:33:14,243 --> 00:33:17,312 It actually sounds like we're filming an episode of 24 in here. 496 00:33:19,045 --> 00:33:20,358 Does that really hurt? Yeah. 497 00:33:21,993 --> 00:33:25,627 Soon it was time to stop and analyse the results. 498 00:33:30,983 --> 00:33:33,373 How does it look? Honestly? 499 00:33:33,672 --> 00:33:35,009 Honestly. Not brilliant. 500 00:33:40,483 --> 00:33:46,088 So, what we've learned so far is that the Yeti is more comfortable than a Range Rover 501 00:33:46,217 --> 00:33:48,148 more practical than a Maybach 502 00:33:48,325 --> 00:33:49,808 faster than a Ferrari 503 00:33:50,004 --> 00:33:52,169 cheaper than a Vauxhall Astra 504 00:33:52,376 --> 00:33:56,220 and tougher on the inside, at least, than the fire brigade. 505 00:33:58,819 --> 00:34:02,348 But, and this is crucial, a lot of people ask me this. 506 00:34:02,498 --> 00:34:06,007 Can you get Sienna Miller in the glove box? 507 00:34:06,262 --> 00:34:09,147 Well, let's find out. Sienna, are you in there? 508 00:34:09,305 --> 00:34:11,376 Yeah. You are. And are you comfortable? Very. 509 00:34:11,521 --> 00:34:12,391 Marvelous, good bye. 510 00:34:13,518 --> 00:34:14,600 Good mark for the Yeti there. 511 00:34:14,983 --> 00:34:17,006 But what about the air conditioning? 512 00:34:18,350 --> 00:34:21,680 Rolls-Royce always used to say that the aircon they used 513 00:34:21,811 --> 00:34:25,070 had the cooling power of the 30 domestic fridges. 514 00:34:25,218 --> 00:34:27,135 So can the Yeti beat that? 515 00:34:33,157 --> 00:34:39,053 To find out, I'm going to drive this car... through that burning building. 516 00:34:40,048 --> 00:34:42,502 While holding this ice-cream. 517 00:34:42,642 --> 00:34:47,519 Now if it melts and I end up with sticky fingers, the aircon's no good. 518 00:34:51,253 --> 00:34:52,854 Mm-mm! 519 00:35:03,249 --> 00:35:06,945 900 degrees in here. Scientists would call that toasty. 520 00:35:07,420 --> 00:35:10,432 And it is, I suppose. You can roast a chicken at 180 521 00:35:11,635 --> 00:35:15,133 I've asked, on the dial here, for 18 degrees. 522 00:35:15,619 --> 00:35:18,068 And if we look on this rubbish temperature gauge here 523 00:35:18,219 --> 00:35:20,942 I don't know if you can see that, it's 18.7. 524 00:35:21,381 --> 00:35:26,181 This is amazing. Not a dribble 525 00:35:26,376 --> 00:35:33,315 I'm actually quite surprised! I thought this would be more uncomfortable than it is. 526 00:35:34,403 --> 00:35:38,694 What this car is, is the opposite of a pop tart. 527 00:35:39,443 --> 00:35:43,357 Satisfied that I proved my point about the Yeti 528 00:35:43,579 --> 00:35:46,936 I was going to call it a day at this stage and head back to the studio. 529 00:35:47,130 --> 00:35:49,735 But then, I had a thought. 530 00:35:52,346 --> 00:35:55,779 You see, Roman Abramovich has probably been watching this and thinking. 531 00:35:56,007 --> 00:36:00,822 "Yes, that's a remarkable car, but could I land my helicopter on it?" 532 00:36:02,235 --> 00:36:04,285 Well, let's find out. 533 00:36:09,256 --> 00:36:13,016 Now, I should stress, that we've not modified the structure 534 00:36:13,328 --> 00:36:16,825 or the suspension or the roof of the car in any way. 535 00:36:17,023 --> 00:36:20,209 We've simply added a 100-kilogram roof- rack. 536 00:36:20,344 --> 00:36:21,429 And in a minute or so 537 00:36:21,594 --> 00:36:26,512 we're going to be trying to land a 600- kilogram helicopter on top of it 538 00:36:27,830 --> 00:36:29,936 700 kilograms on the roof. 539 00:36:34,088 --> 00:36:38,251 Don't look at the helicopter... Just look at the speed. 540 00:36:38,408 --> 00:36:42,864 It was crucial that I kept the throttle pedal as steady as a rock. 541 00:36:45,028 --> 00:36:46,200 Here he comes. 542 00:36:46,620 --> 00:36:51,958 The problem is a car is very quick to respond, one twitch of your foot 543 00:36:52,061 --> 00:36:55,967 that's disaster for the helicopter, cos that's very slow to respond 544 00:36:57,772 --> 00:37:00,683 I can feel the car being pushed down now by the blades. 545 00:37:04,537 --> 00:37:05,880 'Abort. Abort.'. 546 00:37:08,342 --> 00:37:09,438 Has he aborted? 547 00:37:11,272 --> 00:37:13,582 A million things can go wrong with this. 548 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,024 And all of them end up with a fireball and me with no head on. 549 00:37:21,143 --> 00:37:22,496 OK, we will have another go. 550 00:37:27,645 --> 00:37:28,606 Here he comes. 551 00:37:33,916 --> 00:37:37,191 I can hear it, I don't know where it is. 552 00:37:38,928 --> 00:37:40,733 It was a lot worse for the pilot, though. 553 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:47,555 He cannot see the car... When he lands. 554 00:37:50,492 --> 00:37:52,098 He has no reference points. 555 00:38:02,244 --> 00:38:03,360 Is he down? 556 00:38:07,877 --> 00:38:08,566 He's down. 557 00:38:13,288 --> 00:38:15,707 Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh. 558 00:38:16,562 --> 00:38:19,422 Ease it down. Not too sharply. I do not want... 559 00:38:20,236 --> 00:38:26,099 a 150,000 pounds helicopter jerking off and landing on the bonnet. 560 00:38:36,748 --> 00:38:38,746 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... 561 00:38:39,549 --> 00:38:45,631 The Skoda Yeti, with a helicopter on the roof, hahaha... 562 00:38:55,781 --> 00:39:02,211 Now, hand on heart, tell me that you've seen a more complete car than this. 563 00:39:02,368 --> 00:39:03,282 Because I haven't. 564 00:39:03,415 --> 00:39:07,465 All right. Sell your AMG Mercedes and buy one. 565 00:39:08,844 --> 00:39:11,177 Well... You're not going to, are you? 566 00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:16,677 You can't. You can't, because there's a waiting list. Six-month waiting list for a Yeti. 567 00:39:16,965 --> 00:39:19,361 And anyway, I don't want to talk to you two any more. 568 00:39:19,509 --> 00:39:23,814 Because it's now time to put a star in our reasonably priced car. 569 00:39:23,942 --> 00:39:25,810 Now, my guest tonight is a comedian 570 00:39:26,831 --> 00:39:32,723 who comes from the same place that Cilla Black, Jimmy Tarbuck and Paul McCartney call Home. 571 00:39:32,837 --> 00:39:34,018 What, Buckinghamshire? 572 00:39:35,462 --> 00:39:36,910 No, Liverpool! Oh... 573 00:39:37,011 --> 00:39:39,282 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, John Bishop! 574 00:39:42,925 --> 00:39:47,466 How are you? Nice to meet you. Have a seat. 575 00:39:50,217 --> 00:39:52,560 A popular man. 576 00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:57,358 Must be a long time since you played in front of a crowd as small as this one. 577 00:39:57,684 --> 00:40:00,797 Well, to be fair, it's not, because the last 12 months 578 00:40:00,939 --> 00:40:05,531 things have gone a little bit massive and a bit crazy. 579 00:40:05,867 --> 00:40:11,281 But, I mean, literally 18 months ago, I was doing the Leicester Comedy Festival. 580 00:40:11,432 --> 00:40:15,955 And 14 people turned up. 14! 14 people! 581 00:40:16,106 --> 00:40:18,704 I actually bought a round of drinks for the audience! 582 00:40:19,817 --> 00:40:22,252 And I said, "You're not going to believe this 583 00:40:22,303 --> 00:40:23,780 but I'm on telly next week" 584 00:40:23,796 --> 00:40:25,105 And they went, "No, you're not, mate." 585 00:40:25,260 --> 00:40:27,680 I did the Michael Macintyre Roadshow 586 00:40:27,795 --> 00:40:28,839 and then Live at the Apollo. 587 00:40:28,939 --> 00:40:33,255 And things have spiralled from there, but it's literally in a hair's breadth. 588 00:40:33,379 --> 00:40:36,506 And you're now doing the big stadium, the O2 comedy gigs? 589 00:40:36,703 --> 00:40:40,018 I did. I did Wembley. On this current tour, I do Wembley 590 00:40:40,321 --> 00:40:43,841 and we've just booked, which is brilliant, we've just booked the Albert Hall. 591 00:40:44,135 --> 00:40:46,337 Cos I've never been to one of the stadium comedy 592 00:40:46,477 --> 00:40:49,412 like the equivalent of Queen, We Will Rock You and all that. 593 00:40:49,550 --> 00:40:51,282 How do you hear a heckler, for example 594 00:40:51,506 --> 00:40:54,488 if he's three and a half miles away at the back of what was the dome? 595 00:40:54,649 --> 00:40:56,314 They have to send an e-mail... 596 00:40:57,745 --> 00:40:59,787 But I'm like you, I walk on thinking, 597 00:40:59,901 --> 00:41:02,004 "I can't believe this is working, " but it's lovely. 598 00:41:02,238 --> 00:41:06,372 But you've been invited on Celebrity, what was it, Mastermind, wasn't it? Yeah... 599 00:41:06,503 --> 00:41:08,066 What did you choose as your subject? 600 00:41:08,241 --> 00:41:10,421 When they phoned me up, I didn't want to do it 601 00:41:10,536 --> 00:41:15,423 cos I'm a bit cautious of that thing, whatever celebrity is, so I didn't want to do it. 602 00:41:15,540 --> 00:41:22,021 So they said, "It's all for charity, and it's a good thing to do." 603 00:41:22,184 --> 00:41:25,021 I said, "OK, then." They said, "What's your specialist subject?" 604 00:41:25,167 --> 00:41:27,915 So I said, "Can I have holidays I've been on?" 605 00:41:30,117 --> 00:41:33,036 And they said, "Sorry, you can't have holidays you've been on." 606 00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:34,699 I said, "Why, is someone else doing it?" 607 00:41:37,296 --> 00:41:38,792 So they said, "Pick something else." 608 00:41:38,905 --> 00:41:43,482 And it was just one of those awful moments, when you hear yourself speak 609 00:41:44,215 --> 00:41:46,898 and you hear a voice, and you think, "That's me. I just said that." 610 00:41:47,102 --> 00:41:51,748 And I heard my own voice say, "The Irish potato famine." 611 00:41:55,202 --> 00:41:57,779 My brain was going, "What did you say that for?!" 612 00:41:58,329 --> 00:42:00,545 Honestly, did you know anything about it? 613 00:42:00,666 --> 00:42:04,128 I knew nothing about the Irish potato famine! Nothing! I came last. 614 00:42:04,438 --> 00:42:08,706 What annoyed me is, I was on with the Irish comedian, Ed Byrne 615 00:42:08,789 --> 00:42:11,376 whose specialist subject was Star Trek. 616 00:42:11,665 --> 00:42:14,083 And I'm doing why his granddad had no tea! 617 00:42:15,932 --> 00:42:18,656 I thought, "I know about Star Trek! Why didn't I do that?!" 618 00:42:19,423 --> 00:42:24,275 Now, my kids, first alerted me to the presence of John Bishop. 619 00:42:24,590 --> 00:42:27,144 They said, "You've got to see this guy "He's in our living room!" 620 00:42:28,622 --> 00:42:31,791 "What's he doing here?" 621 00:42:32,294 --> 00:42:34,153 They said, "You've got to come to have a look at this" 622 00:42:34,268 --> 00:42:36,791 So you're dragged, and you went...on You...Tube. 623 00:42:37,229 --> 00:42:40,890 And I think, "There's no way that guy is going to be funny, cos his teeth are too white. 624 00:42:42,587 --> 00:42:44,679 Forgive me for saying this, all right. 625 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:49,519 But a good-looking chap such as yourself tends not to be funny. 626 00:42:51,244 --> 00:42:53,556 You are funny. 627 00:42:57,339 --> 00:42:59,536 Well, yeah. That says a lot. 628 00:43:02,398 --> 00:43:05,660 I think... Thank you so much. 629 00:43:06,948 --> 00:43:08,846 But now I think, because I know, girls always say, 630 00:43:08,967 --> 00:43:12,136 "The thing we look for most of all is in a man is..." "Sense of humour" 631 00:43:12,317 --> 00:43:13,472 A big what? 632 00:43:15,419 --> 00:43:17,569 Yeah, I know, I got that as well, to be honest. 633 00:43:18,550 --> 00:43:20,964 No, what? Sense of humour, yeah? It's not true. 634 00:43:21,409 --> 00:43:25,220 Because whenever you go, there's someone like you, big teeth, "Look at my arms, look at my pecs" 635 00:43:25,362 --> 00:43:26,616 Basically girls go for that. 636 00:43:26,727 --> 00:43:29,761 And then there's some poor bloke like Bill Bailey going, "I'm really funny" 637 00:43:29,937 --> 00:43:32,615 And it doesn't work, cos his hair's trying to escape. 638 00:43:32,913 --> 00:43:38,304 So, do you see....? What made you think, "I need to be funny?" 639 00:43:38,581 --> 00:43:42,523 I don't know. I've got to be honest, this is... This is one of those 640 00:43:42,652 --> 00:43:45,913 I don't know any other bloke in here who has had another bloke 641 00:43:46,061 --> 00:43:48,701 particularly a famous bloke going, "You're a good-looking lad." 642 00:43:48,907 --> 00:43:51,821 Particularly a man in a velvet jacket! 643 00:43:52,023 --> 00:43:55,311 It's a kind of undertone, you know what I mean. 644 00:43:55,928 --> 00:43:59,260 Switching to cars. Reading up on your notes, I understand that. 645 00:43:59,386 --> 00:44:02,415 You say your dad invented the people carrier? 646 00:44:02,528 --> 00:44:05,539 Yeah, he did. He doesn't get the credit he deserves. 647 00:44:05,714 --> 00:44:10,675 My dad had a Ford Escort van, but obviously, 4 kids. 648 00:44:10,805 --> 00:44:14,434 So it's difficult transporting kids in a Ford Escort van, so what he did is 649 00:44:14,493 --> 00:44:18,338 he cut the side panels out of the side, and put glass in the van 650 00:44:18,510 --> 00:44:23,042 and then took the rear seat of a car like this, and put that in the back. 651 00:44:23,254 --> 00:44:25,110 So me mum and dad would sit in the front 652 00:44:25,535 --> 00:44:29,474 and all three of us were able to sit on the seat in the back of the van. 653 00:44:29,791 --> 00:44:33,450 No windows, just sheets of glass on the side 654 00:44:34,403 --> 00:44:36,029 I mean, this was the '70s. 655 00:44:36,223 --> 00:44:39,012 There was no seat belts. If you fell out, it was your own fault 656 00:44:40,032 --> 00:44:42,768 I can remember being transported to school, when I was a kid. 657 00:44:42,900 --> 00:44:46,451 And it was just this. "There's room for another one in here!" 658 00:44:46,596 --> 00:44:48,232 And it was a Moscovitch, I remember that. 659 00:44:48,296 --> 00:44:51,232 It was a local newsagent who took me to school in a Russian car. 660 00:44:51,435 --> 00:44:53,830 No, no, my dad had a Moscovitch! 661 00:44:54,207 --> 00:44:56,544 Derek Atkins, he was called, he had a newsagence in... 662 00:44:56,673 --> 00:44:58,305 My dad's Derek Atkins! No... 663 00:45:00,988 --> 00:45:02,811 No, my dad had a Russian Moscovitch! 664 00:45:03,161 --> 00:45:04,692 I was banned from it 665 00:45:04,854 --> 00:45:09,507 because I broke what I thought was the biggest technical advancement ever 666 00:45:09,548 --> 00:45:10,643 which was the lighter. 667 00:45:10,827 --> 00:45:13,936 Must have been about eight thinking, "That's not really hot" 668 00:45:14,078 --> 00:45:15,851 Because I've seen him light his cigarette 669 00:45:19,008 --> 00:45:24,821 I burnt the end of me tongue and I remember me dad coming out and I was crying. 670 00:45:25,862 --> 00:45:28,526 And his lighter was broken. I went... 671 00:45:29,093 --> 00:45:31,166 So you broke his lighter? I broke his lighter. 672 00:45:33,548 --> 00:45:35,922 Oh bless. There we are, the Moscovitch, it sounds like a trip 673 00:45:36,005 --> 00:45:37,616 down Northern memory lane, this does. 674 00:45:39,245 --> 00:45:43,715 So, anyway, look, you came here, obviously, to see how fast you could get around our track. 675 00:45:43,978 --> 00:45:46,688 You're the first guest who has to be trained by the new Stig. 676 00:45:46,825 --> 00:45:48,579 Is he good? Is he nice? Is he pleasant? 677 00:45:48,754 --> 00:45:51,365 I don't know what to compare him to, but he was nice. 678 00:45:51,658 --> 00:45:54,471 He's only a month old. Has he got manners? Yeah, yeah... 679 00:45:55,864 --> 00:45:59,042 What's odd about it is, I was expecting to get him. 680 00:45:59,352 --> 00:46:03,435 And he was to say, "Yeah, I'm Kev, " or something like that... Stig. 681 00:46:04,264 --> 00:46:06,359 It's a proper secret. Do you put him in a box? 682 00:46:07,772 --> 00:46:10,572 After what happened last time, does he get into a gimp box and go. 683 00:46:10,712 --> 00:46:16,111 "No! You're not coming out! It's the job you signed up for! You live your dream, son!" 684 00:46:16,967 --> 00:46:19,281 We're not teaching this one how to read and write. 685 00:46:20,746 --> 00:46:23,751 Who would like to see John's lap? Anybody? 686 00:46:24,362 --> 00:46:25,114 Let's have a look. 687 00:46:26,127 --> 00:46:27,945 Look at it, gleaming in the sunshine. 688 00:46:30,542 --> 00:46:34,503 All right, come on, come on. Come on, lad. 689 00:46:35,606 --> 00:46:38,725 Nice ensemble of sunglasses and visor there. 690 00:46:39,034 --> 00:46:41,452 Now let's have a look at that line through there. 691 00:46:43,516 --> 00:46:45,772 Yep, that's not looking too shabby. 692 00:46:46,688 --> 00:46:48,053 Go on, son! 693 00:46:49,003 --> 00:46:51,813 In there now, too wide? No, that's nicely done. 694 00:46:53,621 --> 00:46:55,987 Get along with that, Stiggy boy! 695 00:46:58,337 --> 00:47:00,231 You can take the man out of Liverpool. 696 00:47:00,704 --> 00:47:02,967 Right, do you keep it between the lines here? 697 00:47:03,073 --> 00:47:04,935 Let's have a look, absolutely bang on. 698 00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:10,242 It looks very nice going around there today. 699 00:47:10,649 --> 00:47:12,194 Come on, lad, go for it. 700 00:47:13,754 --> 00:47:16,362 Flat out through here? Yeah. Good man. 701 00:47:16,663 --> 00:47:19,615 Flat out through the tyres as well? Yeah. 702 00:47:19,784 --> 00:47:21,481 Let's have a look... Yes. 703 00:47:22,250 --> 00:47:23,253 That's looking nice. 704 00:47:23,398 --> 00:47:25,150 Ooh, I say, that's fantastic! 705 00:47:25,359 --> 00:47:28,504 Right, second-to-last corner, this is where most guests get it wrong. 706 00:47:29,173 --> 00:47:30,353 But no. 707 00:47:31,041 --> 00:47:36,672 And here we into Gambon... round there and there we are, across the line 708 00:47:43,700 --> 00:47:44,723 I'm happy with that. 709 00:47:44,871 --> 00:47:46,593 You're happy with that? Yeah, yeah. 710 00:47:46,725 --> 00:47:50,567 They obviously didn't see the five that I wrote off beforehand. 711 00:47:50,963 --> 00:47:54,381 So where do you think you came on our board? 712 00:47:54,712 --> 00:47:56,409 Perfect day today, I have to say. 713 00:47:56,668 --> 00:48:00,948 Who's up there? Tom Cruise... Tom Cruise is the fastest. 714 00:48:01,344 --> 00:48:04,733 And then Cameron Diaz. I've always wanted to be on top of her. 715 00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:10,026 So I wouldn't mind. If that could happen, that would be a dream come true, but... 716 00:48:11,112 --> 00:48:14,451 So, Cameron Diaz, to get on top of her, you'd have to go faster than 1:45.2 717 00:48:14,671 --> 00:48:15,877 I can't see that. 718 00:48:16,092 --> 00:48:27,359 You did it..John Bishop... one minute... Forty... 719 00:48:28,490 --> 00:48:31,854 2.8 720 00:48:38,492 --> 00:48:43,833 That's put an Englishman back on top. Brilliant! 721 00:48:47,755 --> 00:48:49,973 That's bizarrely fast. Loving that. 722 00:48:50,353 --> 00:48:52,576 That is bizarrely fast. 723 00:48:52,759 --> 00:48:56,685 Now there's much to talk about there. I'm loving that! 724 00:48:57,053 --> 00:49:02,077 Honestly, because that's so much faster than anybody else has ever driven that car round... 725 00:49:02,100 --> 00:49:03,406 Tom Cruise, my... 726 00:49:05,417 --> 00:49:07,753 Days of Thunder right here. This is really... 727 00:49:07,804 --> 00:49:09,670 I mean, sporty? How... 728 00:49:10,323 --> 00:49:11,432 Where's it come from? 729 00:49:11,569 --> 00:49:16,597 No, honestly, I've not done anything and I'm not a mad car person, but I loved it. 730 00:49:16,782 --> 00:49:19,911 Well, you are! Well, I am from now on, to be honest with you. 731 00:49:20,115 --> 00:49:27,231 Realistically, where does a man from Liverpool learn to drive that fast in somebody else's car? 732 00:49:30,590 --> 00:49:31,651 No idea. 733 00:49:32,009 --> 00:49:34,249 That's just genetics, that, isn't it? 734 00:49:35,259 --> 00:49:37,617 You're genetically, you are just programmed 735 00:49:37,731 --> 00:49:40,849 I mean, it really is an absolutely blitzing time. 736 00:49:41,001 --> 00:49:43,091 That's it, give it all down to the new Stig. 737 00:49:43,534 --> 00:49:47,441 And that's two lap records in one day, which is unbelievable. 738 00:49:47,622 --> 00:49:53,141 Ladies and gentlemen, the fastest man we've ever had round our track, John Bishop 739 00:49:55,514 --> 00:49:56,347 I'm loving that! 740 00:50:02,398 --> 00:50:03,411 Quite a time. 741 00:50:06,668 --> 00:50:10,411 Now, I was accused recently 742 00:50:10,591 --> 00:50:15,156 of talking too often and too enthusiastically about the Porsche 911. 743 00:50:15,567 --> 00:50:16,877 In fact whenever I mention it now 744 00:50:17,029 --> 00:50:20,455 Jeremy sticks his fingers in his ears and hums songs about Hitle. 745 00:50:20,799 --> 00:50:23,703 And to make matters worse, the producers agree 746 00:50:23,972 --> 00:50:27,138 they say that the 911 is just a VW Beetle with a spoiler. 747 00:50:27,275 --> 00:50:31,228 Well, I'd had enough and I decided to prove them all wrong 748 00:50:37,286 --> 00:50:42,557 I think the sports car that's changed and evolved the most over time is this. 749 00:50:46,190 --> 00:50:49,319 If you know cars, I think I know what you'll be thinking. 750 00:50:49,713 --> 00:50:54,305 You'll be thinking, "What nonsense! It's not changed one bit. 751 00:50:54,703 --> 00:50:57,662 The only thing to change in 1,000 years is the price" 752 00:50:59,175 --> 00:51:05,868 But you're all wrong because the 911 is a long, long, long way from its earliest ancestors. 753 00:51:09,392 --> 00:51:15,455 Of course, I admit that if you spool back through the 911's 70-year family tree 754 00:51:15,849 --> 00:51:17,835 you do end up at the Beetle 755 00:51:18,968 --> 00:51:22,489 which was, of course, designed by Ferdinand Porsche 756 00:51:23,265 --> 00:51:28,988 I also admit that when it comes to looks, there hasn't been much of a revolution. 757 00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,682 Very little has happened to the shape. 758 00:51:32,072 --> 00:51:36,834 And of course the engine has remained stubbornly at the back. 759 00:51:37,670 --> 00:51:41,754 But to say the current 911 is therefore just a glorified Beetle 760 00:51:42,172 --> 00:51:43,525 is nonsense. 761 00:51:44,902 --> 00:51:52,175 One is a wretched, awful, miserable, spluttering, puttering, slow, noisy, ugly 762 00:51:52,427 --> 00:51:56,277 piece of hateful misery and the worst attempt at a people's car the world has ever suffered 763 00:51:56,448 --> 00:52:00,102 but from it evolved this, the acknowledged finest driver's car 764 00:52:00,231 --> 00:52:03,975 and ultimate automotive precision tool that mankind has ever created. 765 00:52:04,164 --> 00:52:08,082 And this is my point, the difference between these two is like 766 00:52:08,230 --> 00:52:10,423 the difference between an ape and a brain surgeon 767 00:52:10,592 --> 00:52:12,857 or Jeremy and a brain surgeon. 768 00:52:16,501 --> 00:52:22,376 Take the one we have here. The 911 Turbo S Cabriolet. 769 00:52:25,183 --> 00:52:28,987 Perfect day for a drop-top 911, this was a good call 770 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:32,231 I just happened to be wearing the hat and coat anyway so I left them on. 771 00:52:32,868 --> 00:52:37,916 This 911 costs 131,000 pounds, which is a lot. 772 00:52:39,665 --> 00:52:43,110 But for that you get just about every conceivable gizmo 773 00:52:43,215 --> 00:52:47,169 it's possible for Porsche to cram into a 911 right now. 774 00:52:48,930 --> 00:52:55,047 So it's got four-wheel drive, it's got a seven-speed double-clutch flappy paddle gearbox. 775 00:52:55,222 --> 00:52:58,823 It's got active engine mounts that are supposed to improve the handling. 776 00:52:59,222 --> 00:53:03,199 It's got ceramic brakes. The engine, 3.8 litre flat six 777 00:53:03,372 --> 00:53:08,934 has got twin variable geometry turbos and a top speed of 196 mph. 778 00:53:10,576 --> 00:53:16,215 It isn't my favourite 911, it's too complicated for my taste, and a bit cold. 779 00:53:18,404 --> 00:53:24,922 And that's why I volunteered to get out of it and into the Beetle for a drag race 780 00:53:27,860 --> 00:53:31,064 523 brake horsepower against 50. 781 00:53:31,501 --> 00:53:32,700 That was when it was new. 782 00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:38,414 Two turbos versus four decades of decay. 783 00:53:41,893 --> 00:53:46,599 OK, it's pretty certain the Beetle will lose, but by how much? 784 00:53:46,928 --> 00:53:52,498 That is the cheap laugh... The important anthropological point we're after here. 785 00:53:52,682 --> 00:53:56,004 Three, two, one... Go! 786 00:53:56,557 --> 00:53:57,095 We're off. 787 00:54:01,263 --> 00:54:02,981 It's just... Yeah 788 00:54:05,921 --> 00:54:07,019 40 789 00:54:11,746 --> 00:54:12,401 41... 790 00:54:19,497 --> 00:54:19,965 50! 791 00:54:33,248 --> 00:54:36,470 I thought at this point that my case was made. 792 00:54:36,747 --> 00:54:41,489 But the producers insisted that with one tiny tweak 793 00:54:41,653 --> 00:54:46,869 the Beetle could be made to go just as fast as its turbocharged descendant. 794 00:54:49,254 --> 00:54:52,857 So I was shipped out to a vast salt flat in South Africa... 795 00:54:54,572 --> 00:55:00,521 where another Porsche turbo convertible and another awful Beetle had been lined up. 796 00:55:01,641 --> 00:55:03,634 Along with a man with a flag. 797 00:55:04,346 --> 00:55:10,009 So here we are and I think I know where you think I think I know this is going. 798 00:55:10,166 --> 00:55:14,046 You're thinking the Beetle now has a twin-turbo V8 engine in the back. 799 00:55:14,202 --> 00:55:19,216 But, no... Same miserable configuration as always. 800 00:55:21,878 --> 00:55:25,673 No, the producers reckoned that all the Beetle would need to win 801 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:29,531 a drag race with the Porsche was a bit more gravity. 802 00:55:32,792 --> 00:55:34,048 Let me explain. 803 00:55:34,522 --> 00:55:37,935 The helicopter is going to suspend our Beetle 804 00:55:38,177 --> 00:55:42,293 exactly a mile above the finish line here. 805 00:55:43,604 --> 00:55:46,718 At the start of the race, the helicopter will release the Beetle 806 00:55:46,847 --> 00:55:48,818 and it'll begin its race towards the chequered flag. 807 00:55:48,933 --> 00:55:51,316 At the same time, I'll release the Porsche... 808 00:55:51,531 --> 00:55:56,370 from a mile away in this direction and the race will be on. 809 00:55:56,503 --> 00:56:01,038 Best predictions at the moment, the Porsche will complete the mile in 37 seconds. 810 00:56:01,312 --> 00:56:05,353 The Beetle, somewhere between 36 and 40 seconds. 811 00:56:05,668 --> 00:56:07,928 The maths, which was done entirely by me 812 00:56:08,206 --> 00:56:12,388 and not at all by the Doctor of Aerodynamic and Automotive Sciences at Loughborough University 813 00:56:12,517 --> 00:56:15,440 state that this really should be very close indeed. 814 00:56:15,593 --> 00:56:20,273 The Porsche can hit 62 mph in 3.7 seconds... 815 00:56:20,435 --> 00:56:21,923 The one problem we do have is wind. 816 00:56:24,303 --> 00:56:26,940 Anyway, take my word for it, it's going to be close. 817 00:56:29,092 --> 00:56:31,346 It was time to take our positions 818 00:56:39,473 --> 00:56:41,790 I don't think I've ever been so worried about wind speeds before. 819 00:56:42,195 --> 00:56:47,771 Just a five-knot breeze could alter where the Beetle will land by half a kilometre. 820 00:56:48,327 --> 00:56:50,156 And that's slightly scary. 821 00:56:52,211 --> 00:56:53,766 Hello, what's the latest wind speed? 822 00:56:58,983 --> 00:57:00,397 Wind speed, six knots. 823 00:57:03,452 --> 00:57:05,885 We're just climbing to 4,004 feet. 824 00:57:08,645 --> 00:57:12,141 Not exactly sure what use the crash helmet's going to be if... 825 00:57:12,300 --> 00:57:14,098 You know, if... But it's a nice touch. 826 00:57:17,258 --> 00:57:20,883 Soon the Beetle was hovering one mile above the finish line. 827 00:57:21,822 --> 00:57:24,853 'Lining up for the drop. Stabilised load' 828 00:57:27,548 --> 00:57:28,098 I'm ready. 829 00:57:29,447 --> 00:57:33,658 'Three, two, one...'. 830 00:57:41,098 --> 00:57:41,718 We're off! 831 00:57:46,264 --> 00:57:49,538 Three seconds, I should be doing 60 by now, I'm at 45. 832 00:57:49,844 --> 00:57:52,924 This surface does not react the same as tarmac. 833 00:57:56,474 --> 00:57:59,906 Seven seconds in, he's doing 100 by now, I'm doing 75. 834 00:58:01,813 --> 00:58:05,630 With the Porsche struggling to accelerate on the slippery salt flats 835 00:58:06,007 --> 00:58:08,418 the Beetle was romping into the lead. 836 00:58:09,475 --> 00:58:10,568 Look at him tumble! 837 00:58:13,737 --> 00:58:18,901 I'm doing 100 miles an hour, it's moving about on the salt, it's a terrible surface. 838 00:58:19,914 --> 00:58:24,338 But the Porsche wasn't beaten yet because at 125 miles an hour 839 00:58:24,483 --> 00:58:29,075 the Beetle reached terminal velocity and couldn't fall any faster. 840 00:58:29,983 --> 00:58:32,493 Whereas my speedo could keep climbing 841 00:58:32,807 --> 00:58:37,212 I've got to keep pushing through. 125 for me, we're matching speed. 842 00:58:40,674 --> 00:58:42,774 He's rolling about all over the place! 843 00:58:45,693 --> 00:58:46,449 140 844 00:59:01,290 --> 00:59:02,912 No, no! 845 00:59:10,361 --> 00:59:15,170 Oh, God, I lost! No! Not the Beetle! 846 00:59:15,879 --> 00:59:18,425 Well, that's... My life is over. 847 00:59:21,436 --> 00:59:27,801 On the plus side... I think the Beetle looks in worse shape than the Porsche 848 00:59:49,090 --> 00:59:51,792 I wanted to make it best of three. Never mind that. 849 00:59:51,980 --> 00:59:55,370 What we've learned from that film is that Porsche over the years 850 00:59:55,543 --> 01:00:02,436 has spent millions and millions of Reichsmarks developing active ceramic geometry turbos, OK? 851 01:00:02,590 --> 01:00:09,081 And the finished product can be beaten by a Volkswagen Beetle that is propelled only by gravity. 852 01:00:09,377 --> 01:00:11,847 There's an all-new 911 out later this year. 853 01:00:11,851 --> 01:00:13,425 It won't be new. It will. 854 01:00:13,442 --> 01:00:13,821 Listen. What? 855 01:00:14,064 --> 01:00:17,426 I told you not to bring somebody from Liverpool on the show. 856 01:00:17,644 --> 01:00:18,374 Why? 857 01:00:20,485 --> 01:00:22,318 Oh My God... 858 01:00:26,444 --> 01:00:29,272 And on that bombshell, it is time to end. 859 01:00:29,449 --> 01:00:32,768 Thank you so much for watching. See you next week, good night!