1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:06,150 Top Gear S16E05 2 00:00:06,150 --> 00:00:10,700 3 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,890 Tonight... Richard wears a blue hat, 4 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,890 James wears a different hat 5 00:00:18,430 --> 00:00:20,920 and I wear a hat with things on it. 6 00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:32,540 Hello! Thank you. 7 00:00:34,380 --> 00:00:40,540 Now, as you may remember, before Christmas there was a bit of snow. Everything stopped, 8 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:48,220 we all ran about waving arms in the air saying, "Why in this country do we not have more snow ploughs and more gritting machines?" 9 00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:53,940 The main problem of course is cost, especially at the moment, because councils everywhere are laying people off. 10 00:00:53,940 --> 00:00:57,260 They cannot very well make a whole department redundant 11 00:00:57,260 --> 00:01:00,850 and then spend the ￡90,000 they have saved on a snow plough. 12 00:01:00,850 --> 00:01:06,400 Especially if the snow plough is just going to be sitting around. It might not be needed for five years. Exactly. 13 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,900 So, what is to be done? 14 00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:14,330 Well, this is the combine harvester. It works 24 hours-a-day through August, 15 00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:17,470 but then it sits idly in the shed for the rest of the year. 16 00:01:17,470 --> 00:01:22,630 How hard would it be to turn this in winter into a snow plough? 17 00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:29,850 To find out, we bought an old model, of this very combine in fact, and set about making the necessary modifications 18 00:01:29,850 --> 00:01:33,510 at Top Gear's top-secret testing facility in Nottinghamshire. 19 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:39,400 On the B6011, Just North of Bestwood, St Albans. 20 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:46,980 This is the result of our endeavours. 21 00:01:56,850 --> 00:02:04,570 Straight away you can see we have removed the rotating, cutting, harvesty blade thing off the front and replaced it with this snow blade. 22 00:02:04,570 --> 00:02:08,050 It is V-shaped, because that makes it more easy to cut through the snow. 23 00:02:08,050 --> 00:02:13,100 This should be able to move through snow up to three feet deep, no problem. 24 00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:21,030 Power comes from a V8 diesel engine which drives these chunky front wheels. 25 00:02:21,030 --> 00:02:27,200 In the snow, as any BMW driver will tell you, front-wheel drive is a lot better than rear-wheel-drive. 26 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:33,070 The combine, when you think about it, it is almost as if it was designed with snow clearance in mind. 27 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,490 It is uncanny. Everything about it, 28 00:02:34,490 --> 00:02:39,040 it has the ground clearance, knobbly tyres, front-wheel drive, the weight of it, it is all there. 29 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:43,630 This is one of those times on top gear actually... 30 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:46,340 We have accidentally been a bit clever! ...this might work. 31 00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:56,820 Since the dominator has a top speed of just 12mph, it's easy to decide which one of us would be the driver. 32 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:04,200 What happens if I put it on full? BLEEP. I don't like that! 33 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,250 Give it the beans! Faster! 34 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,270 Hang on, it is not like a rally car. 35 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,260 He is going the wrong way. Rear wheel steering, look. 36 00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:21,740 It is not very sensitive steering. BLEEP. Oh, BLEEP. 37 00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:27,100 There is of course, one drawback to the combine as a snow plough. 38 00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:32,150 Because it was designed to work in August, it has no heater. 39 00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:35,890 Which is why there is a drum in there, you can probably see through the window, 40 00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:40,210 and that is an urn. We put that in there. 41 00:03:40,210 --> 00:03:43,750 Full of... Well, we wanted tea, but James said 'I want Bovril'. 42 00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:45,440 Because he is in 1950. 43 00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:50,880 We all know that when it is snowing and it is cold, you have Bovril. That is a rule of life. 44 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,150 He likes to paint himself all over in it, 45 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:56,380 it is like baby oil to him. That is what he does. 46 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:02,270 Him and his lorry driver friends, all Bovrilled up, and then they slip about. That is what they do! 47 00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:08,650 "Besides attaching a plough on the front, 48 00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:15,110 we also converted the tube that normally shoots out the harvested wheat into a makeshift gritter". 49 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,770 I shall be responsible for shovelling the grit from here into this hopper. 50 00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:25,340 I should be good at this, because my first job was 51 00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:27,940 actually shovelling grit into a water filtration plant. 52 00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:30,920 Go on then, shovel. Make shovelling. 53 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,680 hile he is doing that, I shall explain my role. 54 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:43,120 I can use this lever here to swing the arm to direct the flow of grit on to the pavement or onto the road behind. 55 00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:45,530 Yes, look at this! 56 00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:49,260 Initiating gritting. 57 00:04:56,790 --> 00:05:01,810 Yes! And there was grit! We have made a gritting machine! 58 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,450 "But there was one more check we wanted to do". 59 00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:12,250 You know what it is like when you are following a gritting lorry on the motorway 60 00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:15,460 you can go 'No, it is turning my car into a DeLorean!' 61 00:05:15,460 --> 00:05:17,760 Exactly. So, to make sure this is not too powerful, 62 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:22,410 we have got Hammond in a car. We are going to do a little experiment, 63 00:05:22,410 --> 00:05:25,560 fire the gritter at it, make sure it does not actually take the paint off. 64 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,700 will be all right sideways, won't it? Yes, yes. 65 00:05:30,820 --> 00:05:33,480 OK James, engage. 66 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,600 Initiating gritting. 67 00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:44,490 Stop it James, there has been a problem! Make it stop! 68 00:05:44,490 --> 00:05:47,030 Gritting ceased. 69 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:54,460 "Apart from the fact that the grit would kill the occupants of any car it hit, 70 00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:57,770 we felt that the dominator was ready to start work, 71 00:05:59,430 --> 00:06:01,130 but there was a problem". 72 00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:07,060 It is not going to snow, is it? 73 00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:11,560 "With crossed fingers, we tuned in to the weather forecast". 74 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,620 Good afternoon... Shh! We are going to see a change in our weather later on this week. 75 00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:19,570 Temperatures really starting to climb, things heading much milder. We have had a fair bit of cloud around already... 76 00:06:19,570 --> 00:06:24,390 The good news is there is absolutely no sign of the cold air returning in the near future, 77 00:06:24,390 --> 00:06:29,360 it is a very mild outlook. The reason we have got all this warm air, it is pumping up from the tropics. 78 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,420 What does he know? 79 00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:34,650 He does not have to rub it in, does he? He sounds all gleeful about it. 80 00:06:35,490 --> 00:06:41,350 "So, if the snow would not come to the dominator, we would take the dominator to the snow. 81 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:51,660 Here in Norway, we decided to clear the snow from a frozen lake to make a runway 82 00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:55,150 and then a Nor would land his plane on it". 83 00:06:57,100 --> 00:07:00,670 This is quite snowy. It must have snowed. 84 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,860 "We knew the ice would be thick enough for a light aircraft, 85 00:07:03,860 --> 00:07:06,740 but what about our heavy snowbine?". 86 00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:12,520 Ooh, oh. I thought he would be drilling for hours! 87 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,220 That was 10 seconds! 88 00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,420 Seriously, has that gone through? Yes. 89 00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:27,060 Norwegians actually have a chart to say how much weight you can put on various thicknesses of ice. 90 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:29,830 So, how thick is it? 45 centimetres. 91 00:07:29,830 --> 00:07:33,780 Well, say 50... let's say 40. It is 45. 92 00:07:33,780 --> 00:07:37,550 So 50 centimetres of ice, 12 tonnes. 93 00:07:37,550 --> 00:07:41,880 Combine is more than that. It is 13 tonnes. 94 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,960 So, we can't do it? Well it is only a tonne over. 95 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:51,530 "Bravely, Hammond and the optimistic Jeremy decided not to be on board, 96 00:07:51,530 --> 00:07:54,730 as I gingerly drove the snowbine out of the woods, 97 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:57,840 98 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,070 towards the ice". 99 00:08:00,870 --> 00:08:02,410 Three yards to the lake, 100 00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:04,250 this is it! 101 00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:10,730 I do not like that noise! 102 00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:18,480 "Eventually though, I made it". 103 00:08:18,870 --> 00:08:21,060 I or did I not say we would be all right? 104 00:08:21,060 --> 00:08:25,530 Was that or was that not based entirely on guesswork? 105 00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:32,790 "As my guesswork was correct, we set to work". 106 00:08:36,510 --> 00:08:37,710 We are ploughing. 107 00:08:40,530 --> 00:08:42,700 We are ploughing chaps, look at this. 108 00:08:45,740 --> 00:08:47,690 Here we go! 109 00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:53,070 The snowbinester - it works! Yes! 110 00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:59,500 Come on! 111 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:02,920 This is.. Oh! 112 00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:07,290 I think we have just gone through it. 113 00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,240 Ho-ho, yes we have! 114 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:13,430 Is not an emergency, it is just time to empty your bowels. 115 00:09:13,430 --> 00:09:15,850 Sinking! Sinking! 116 00:09:16,610 --> 00:09:18,730 "Bravely, Jeremy dismounted". 117 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,700 back it up! 118 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,580 "And then he started to issue orders". 119 00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:30,920 That is sinking badly. Put your blade down because that has just gone through again. 120 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:36,150 "When the combine finally moved, we could see the scale of the peril". 121 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,010 That is 300 metres deep. 122 00:09:43,740 --> 00:09:45,130 It's just water. 123 00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:52,800 "However, unlike the snowplough people at Heathrow Airport, we decided not to just give up". 124 00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:59,790 Do you know how many flights were cancelled in Heathrow last year, because of the weather? 125 00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:02,990 3700. 126 00:10:02,990 --> 00:10:06,630 Do you know how many flights were cancelled in Oslo because of the weather? 127 00:10:08,210 --> 00:10:09,690 2000? Two. 128 00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:13,870 Heathrow 3700. 129 00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:19,180 "As we were proving, all of that misery was completely un-necessary". 130 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,990 There really is no excuse. Heathrow, BAA, 131 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:26,430 if you're watching this, you're pathetic. 132 00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:31,890 And if anybody in a meeting says "Oh well, the reason why it was shut is...", sack him. 133 00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:38,690 There is no reason why it was shut because it is not difficult to clear a runway. It just is not. 134 00:10:39,150 --> 00:10:43,630 "My rant was interrupted at this point by news from below decks". 135 00:10:43,630 --> 00:10:48,420 The Bovril is boiling over. 136 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,890 "Up top, Hammond was still fretting about the ice". 137 00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:59,860 Oh my god, that is another crack there, look. Yep. Big one. 138 00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:03,540 When we go through, it is going to be worse for him. 139 00:11:03,540 --> 00:11:07,360 Oh god yes, because he will be pawing a t the glass, desperate. 140 00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:11,160 "Right now though, he was pawing at the steering wheel". 141 00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:17,910 James, James, go right you idiot! Stay right, it is a straight line we are looking for! 142 00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:20,960 I think this will be a tricky landing. 143 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,950 We got into a tank slapper. 144 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:27,190 Look where we're pointing. James, the trees indicate land. 145 00:11:28,260 --> 00:11:31,600 "Eventually though, James are mastered at the rear wheel steering". 146 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,980 I am waiting to look behind us and see a runway, complete with lights and everything. 147 00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:39,090 That is not happening, but it is not bad, look. 148 00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:43,200 "Pretty soon, the runway was finished. 149 00:11:44,850 --> 00:11:50,310 So we pulled over and radioed the pilot, giving him permission to land". 150 00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:56,610 It is not the smoothest runway. No, but there is less snow on it than there was. 151 00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:00,610 is smooth enough, isn't it? Well we are about to find out. Here he comes. 152 00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:10,510 Look at that, job done. 153 00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:15,000 Ladies and gentlemen, we did that! How about that. 154 00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:19,480 "Sadly though, our celebrations were premature". 155 00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:24,730 Oh, oh my God. That is quite bumpy. 156 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,900 He has crashed. He has pretty much crashed there. 157 00:12:31,610 --> 00:12:35,240 time like this, there is only one thing a man can do. 158 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:40,480 Right, quick, go! Go go go! Right, James, run! 159 00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:55,890 That was deeply embarrassing. 160 00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:02,220 I know we are often accused of faking things on this programme, 161 00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:05,210 but trust me, you cannot actually fake a plane crash. 162 00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:11,080 I think that it is probably safe to say we will not be getting a Christmas tree for Trafalgar Square this year, from Norway. 163 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:15,430 Anyway, we will be picking that film up later on. We want to explain it is not just a massive cocking around. 164 00:13:15,430 --> 00:13:19,970 We really do believe that we were on to something with that snowbine 165 00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:25,030 because if you think about it, if it works, farmers can rent out equipment that would normally be sitting idle, 166 00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:29,430 councils do not have to maintain a fleet, which savesthem a fortune. 167 00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:31,050 And we get our roads open. 168 00:13:31,050 --> 00:13:33,140 So we really do think it is worth persevering with. 169 00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:37,470 Anyway, now, we are going to do the news. I want to begin by talking about Nissan. 170 00:13:37,470 --> 00:13:40,500 They have announced they are going to make a new electric sports car 171 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,600 which they are going to exhibit at the Geneva Motor Show, which is soon. 172 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,210 That is a picture of it. 173 00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:47,920 They have sent us lots of details about this car. 174 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:51,290 Interestingly and unusually, they have also sent us a description 175 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:53,190 of the sort of person who will buy it. 176 00:13:53,190 --> 00:13:56,590 An actual biography. I am quoting now from a Nissan themselves. 177 00:13:56,590 --> 00:13:59,350 They say the driver, Daniel... 178 00:13:59,350 --> 00:14:01,260 So this guy does not exist, they have made him up? Yes. 179 00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:06,950 They say "Daniel works in tech but lives for the weekend. 180 00:14:06,950 --> 00:14:08,690 On a Friday night after work, 181 00:14:08,690 --> 00:14:10,680 he gets behind the wheels of his Esflow, 182 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,160 which instantly links with his pocket PDA..." 183 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,500 he sounds like a bit of a prat. He does. Anyway, 184 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,250 "...it determines the fastest route to his girlfriend's home. 185 00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:22,050 On Sunday, he drives through the mountains for leisure," 186 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,530 on his milk float. And then he gets home eventually, 187 00:14:27,530 --> 00:14:30,050 it is all charged up, and he lives in Barcelona. 188 00:14:30,050 --> 00:14:32,230 Hang on a minute, he's called Daniel? 189 00:14:33,170 --> 00:14:35,900 Could he be the Daniel from the Elton John song? 190 00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,010 Yes, that is who he was writing about. Hang on. 191 00:14:39,090 --> 00:14:41,200 # Daniel is travelling tonight.... 192 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:46,200 In his stupid electric sports car. I can see the red tail lights...# 193 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,360 No, you would not be able to, would you? 194 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,660 It is battery-powered, they will have gone flat. 195 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:55,400 # Daniel's girlfriend is bouncing around on a man with an Aston v8...# 196 00:14:56,910 --> 00:14:58,530 I have just had a thought. 197 00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:01,630 What is James' middle name? It is Daniel! Yes it is. 198 00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:05,270 Anyway, that is enough Daniel. 199 00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:09,350 Bentley have announced that in the next James Bond book, 200 00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:13,420 007 will be driving a Bentley Continental. 201 00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:17,180 Wow. Is that the next James Bond? Look at him. 202 00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:22,170 He looks like an accountant. 203 00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:25,750 What is the book called? On her Majesty's Customs and Excise? 204 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,460 ledger. Live and Let's File. 205 00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:36,110 I should point out that man is the author of the book, not the new bond. Sorry. 206 00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,550 I do not know why you would want a modern Bentley anyway, 207 00:15:38,550 --> 00:15:41,460 I drove one in Albania recently and it was terrible. 208 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:46,600 I was killed in it. You were! So it was not all bad. 209 00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:50,990 Now, you know infinity? You mean when James explains how something works? 210 00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:54,270 And infinity just stretches out in front of you forever. 211 00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:58,080 No, not endless time and space, Infinity, the Japanese car maker. Oh, yeah. 212 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,370 They are Datsuns with a bit of velvet in them, Basically. 213 00:16:00,370 --> 00:16:04,400 A bit like Lexus is to Toyota. Well, at the Geneva Motor Show, 214 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:08,250 they have announced they are going to show off a new direction they are going in. 215 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,910 This is the car they will be showing, it is a concept, 216 00:16:10,910 --> 00:16:13,820 I think it looks like an ordinary car that has melted. 217 00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:18,850 But what I am worried about his they have called it the Urethra. 218 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,180 Are you sure? It is not actually spelt urethra, 219 00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:26,880 but it looks like it is pronounced urethra. 220 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:30,470 Is the urethra the bit your old chap... 221 00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:34,250 Isn't it a tube connecting your kidney to your bladder? 222 00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:37,100 Where the wee goes a long to get it from your kidney to your bladder? 223 00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:38,180 How come you keep saying yes to everything! 224 00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:41,130 How come you're such an expert? You look like a scaffolder! 225 00:16:43,010 --> 00:16:45,700 Are you actually a wee doctor? Yes. You are? 226 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,230 What are you really? I am a car salesman. 227 00:16:48,230 --> 00:16:49,600 Car salesman. 228 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:55,430 Anyway, so if you want a melted car named after a tube with urine in it, 229 00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:56,920 that is the car for you. 230 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:03,890 Now, Ferrari. This year's F1 car they said is going to be called the F150. 231 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:06,770 Then, they got a call from Ford's lawyers saying 232 00:17:06,770 --> 00:17:11,410 "No, you cannot do that because we own the name F150 and that will cause confusion." 233 00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:16,210 So let's have a look at the Ferrari. This is the F150, this year's F1 car, 234 00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:19,060 and now let's have a look at Ford's F150. 235 00:17:20,370 --> 00:17:22,840 It is easy to see how the confusion could arise 236 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,930 between the two if you kept them together. 237 00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:27,980 What would be worse than getting pole position sitting on the grid and thinking, 238 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,750 "Right, here we go in my big F1 race, 239 00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,000 why is there a man in a cowboy hat sitting next to me? 240 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:36,250 Oh, no, I am in a pickup truck!" Ferrari actually say, and I am quoting now, 241 00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:39,590 it is difficult to understand Ford's viewpoint on this matter. 242 00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:41,420 I am sort of with them. 243 00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:43,430 Anyway, they have changed the name. 244 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:44,950 The Ferrari Formula One car is now called 245 00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:49,140 the Ferrari F-Henry Ford is a massive peach. 246 00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:53,660 Two things with the same name do not necessarily have to be confused. 247 00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:56,760 Like Hammond can mean a massive organ, or it can... Oh yeah. 248 00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:02,640 Does anybody here play golf? You do? 249 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,800 OK, I have got some news about personalised number plates. 250 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,940 I know you love that sort of thing if you play golf. 251 00:18:08,050 --> 00:18:10,910 We have got the new 11 plates coming out very soon, 252 00:18:10,910 --> 00:18:12,510 the numbers will be 11. 253 00:18:12,510 --> 00:18:14,350 Obviously, that gives a wealth of possibilities for 254 00:18:14,350 --> 00:18:16,610 writing amusing words on your number plate. 255 00:18:17,140 --> 00:18:19,150 Bulldog, Holland, gallop and so on. 256 00:18:19,150 --> 00:18:21,530 The DVLA, which is a big building in Wales 257 00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:26,610 are now selling these numbers for between 3,000 and 10,000. 258 00:18:26,610 --> 00:18:31,310 To be fair, it is between 3,000 and 10,000 plus the fine you get for interfering 259 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:33,230 with the letters and numbers on your number plate. 260 00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:34,580 It is true. We are the only country in the world 261 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,750 where the government says if you move the letters and numbers around 262 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:40,380 to make this word you can buy this from us, 263 00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:42,540 and then they fine you for moving the letters and numbers around. 264 00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:43,560 It is a bit weird, that. 265 00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:45,850 The interesting thing is that some of the words 266 00:18:45,850 --> 00:18:48,400 have been banned for being offensive or sinister. 267 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:54,430 Words like psycho and vulgar. But they have allowed ballbag. 268 00:18:56,060 --> 00:19:01,700 They have? No, they haven't. They have not allowed ballbag, 269 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,900 But they have allowed melons. 270 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,960 Isn't that sexist? It is sexist to me. 271 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:13,190 It is also not fair, because what if you were a wholesaler of giant hold-alls 272 00:19:13,190 --> 00:19:16,630 for transporting footballs in large volumes to school playing fields? 273 00:19:16,630 --> 00:19:18,570 You might want ballbag. They are not doing it, 274 00:19:18,570 --> 00:19:23,600 but I think it is unlikely it would be bought by a sporting wholesaler. 275 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,940 In the same way that melons would not be bought by a greengrocer. 276 00:19:26,940 --> 00:19:29,970 It would end up on Jordan's pink whore's box. 277 00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:33,650 What? Horse box. Oh. What did you think I said? 278 00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,960 That is what I thought you said. 279 00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:40,510 One of the things we have learned over the years on this show is that 280 00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:46,380 if you want a small, fast saloon car, you have to buy a BMW M3. 281 00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:51,810 You can go off and buy a fast Mercedes or a fast Audi if you want, 282 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,210 but that is like going out and buying a 283 00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:56,740 Playstation war game that isn't Call of Duty. 284 00:19:56,740 --> 00:20:00,870 The M3 is the best, and that is an end of it. 285 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:08,310 Now however, BMW claim they have made it even better. 286 00:20:17,620 --> 00:20:20,800 First of all, it is fitted with a devise that cuts the engine 287 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,440 when you stop it is set of lights, 288 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,420 and then start it again when you set off. 289 00:20:26,270 --> 00:20:30,880 All on its own, this will solve the Global Warming. 290 00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,940 Next, it is available with a matt finish, 291 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:46,250 which is as cool as buying some skinny jeans, and then making an app about them. 292 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,900 There are some drawbacks to this though, 293 00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:58,480 first of all, it costs 1,755. I think it is a lot for a bit of paint. 294 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:03,740 Plus, you cannot take it in a car-wash or polish it, 295 00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:07,220 and you must remove tree sap, dead insects and bird droppings 296 00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:09,300 immediately or you will ruin it. 297 00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:14,380 So really, you are paying 1700 quid for some inconvenience. 298 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:21,540 The biggest new feature is what BMW call the competition pack. 299 00:21:22,230 --> 00:21:25,070 This will cost you 3,300. 300 00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:28,850 For that you get bigger wheels and tyres, a lowered ride height 301 00:21:28,850 --> 00:21:31,630 and one or two other software tweaks designed to 302 00:21:31,630 --> 00:21:34,460 keep people pointing in vaguely the right direction. 303 00:21:36,390 --> 00:21:40,700 Or if the mood takes you, in completely the wrong direction. 304 00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:02,300 I would love to say at this point that the competition pack has transformed this car 305 00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:07,600 into a mesmerising blend of God and Uma Thurman. 306 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:09,370 But it hasn't. 307 00:22:10,220 --> 00:22:16,220 Truth be told, most of the time it makes absolutely no difference at all. 308 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:23,120 In a straight line, it is no faster than the standard car. 309 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:28,570 Around the bends, it feels exactly the same. 310 00:22:29,990 --> 00:22:33,760 Except of course when you eventually spin, it will assume 311 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:37,290 you have arrived at a set of lights and cut the engine. 312 00:22:38,510 --> 00:22:39,980 Why have you done that! 313 00:22:40,370 --> 00:22:45,170 Nobody arrives at traffic lights backwards in a cloud of tyre smoke! 314 00:22:45,950 --> 00:22:47,840 Stupid thing! 315 00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:56,410 However, with the competition pack, you do get one feature that you will notice. 316 00:22:58,690 --> 00:23:03,940 If you push this little button here, twice, you engage sport mode. 317 00:23:06,290 --> 00:23:08,780 It does not make any difference to the speed you go, 318 00:23:08,780 --> 00:23:12,520 but it does make the car very uncomfortable. 319 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,760 I know, for example, this runway is very smooth. 320 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:22,800 But now it feels like I am driving over a teenager's face. 321 00:23:28,330 --> 00:23:30,780 So there we are. The competition pack. 322 00:23:30,780 --> 00:23:34,610 You spend 58,000 and what you get in exchange is 323 00:23:34,610 --> 00:23:41,390 a normal 55,000 M3 with a little button that makes it worse. 324 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:54,890 So what about this? The new Audi RS5. This is also 58,000, 325 00:23:54,890 --> 00:23:59,240 but it does come with many bells and a fleet of whistles. 326 00:24:02,210 --> 00:24:06,190 It has four wheel drive, a new mechanical centre differential 327 00:24:06,190 --> 00:24:11,210 and an electronic gizmo that splits the torque between the rear wheels. 328 00:24:11,810 --> 00:24:16,140 Sounds juicy! And that is before we get to the engine. 329 00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:20,820 A Lamborghini derived 4.2 litre V8. 330 00:24:24,940 --> 00:24:28,820 Audi has even gone to the trouble of fitting the engine with a device that 331 00:24:28,820 --> 00:24:33,990 fires a droplet of petrol into the hot exhaust every time you change gear. 332 00:24:33,990 --> 00:24:35,360 So, ready? 333 00:24:39,350 --> 00:24:47,570 They are using the planet's resources to make changing gear sound nice. I like that. 334 00:24:49,130 --> 00:24:55,080 But can it beat the BMW? Let's find out. 335 00:24:57,350 --> 00:25:02,050 He has 414 brake horsepower, I have 30 more. 336 00:25:02,050 --> 00:25:05,320 I am expecting to just cruise by. 337 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:09,240 But, the Audi is heavier, and despite the high-tech four-wheel drive 338 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,020 it is nowhere near as good on the corners. 339 00:25:14,010 --> 00:25:18,950 I will get him on the next one. Oh, dear. 340 00:25:21,330 --> 00:25:23,720 No matter, I will get him on the braking... 341 00:25:28,090 --> 00:25:29,940 I won't get him on the braking. Ooh- 342 00:25:40,070 --> 00:25:43,460 er! This is weird, because in all fast Audis I can remember, 343 00:25:43,460 --> 00:25:47,000 the engine has always been way out in front of the front axle 344 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,800 sticking out like Bruce Forsyth's chin. 345 00:25:51,780 --> 00:25:55,670 In this, they have moved the axle forwards. 346 00:25:57,940 --> 00:26:02,370 The idea being that that would kill the understeer that has always plagued Audis. 347 00:26:03,870 --> 00:26:07,280 Honestly, it really has not worked. Come on! 348 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:08,470 Turn! 349 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,700 The only hope you have of getting past is that eventually, 350 00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:21,190 the BMW driver will have to pull over to wipe an insect off the bonnet. 351 00:26:27,350 --> 00:26:31,500 I thought the RS5 would be a modern day version of the original Quattro 352 00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:34,750 a hardcore, fire spitting monster. 353 00:26:34,750 --> 00:26:39,450 A machine born in the forests, rough, brutal and exciting. 354 00:26:41,260 --> 00:26:45,070 But it is not. It is comfortable and relaxing and quiet. 355 00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:47,100 I am sorry, but if that is what you want, 356 00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:53,070 why spend 58,000 on a four-wheel drive V8? 357 00:27:00,850 --> 00:27:04,200 In short, neither of these cars really works. 358 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,780 As a result, we are back where we started. 359 00:27:08,130 --> 00:27:13,340 If you want a small, fast saloon, buy a standard M3. 360 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,940 What is there to applaud? 361 00:27:24,540 --> 00:27:25,970 Let work this out, shall we. 362 00:27:25,970 --> 00:27:30,300 A couple of weeks ago, you reviewed three cars that no one can buy. 363 00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:33,410 And you have just reviewed two cars that no one will want to buy. 364 00:27:33,410 --> 00:27:35,190 I have. Thank you. 365 00:27:35,190 --> 00:27:38,980 But listen. I have another problem with the Audi apart from the ones we have already seen. 366 00:27:38,980 --> 00:27:42,060 You know Audi's sponsor, Manchester United? 367 00:27:42,060 --> 00:27:46,220 How many people here support Manchester United? Hands up. 368 00:27:47,970 --> 00:27:51,250 It is a few, so they think yes we like Audis. 369 00:27:51,250 --> 00:27:54,820 Now, how many people here hope that Manchester United, the entire team, 370 00:27:54,820 --> 00:27:57,870 catch gonorrhoea and are unable to play ever again? 371 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,520 That is the problem with a car when its sponsors a football team. 372 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,180 It automatically means that the vast majority of people, my son included, 373 00:28:07,180 --> 00:28:10,320 he hates Audis! If anyone does not support that football team... Exactly! 374 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,410 I do not want to think that divide bought an Audi, 375 00:28:12,410 --> 00:28:15,010 any of my money, even a tiny bit, is going to Wayne Rooney. 376 00:28:15,010 --> 00:28:18,140 Or Sir Ferguson. With his chewing-gum. 377 00:28:19,130 --> 00:28:23,760 Anyway, it is now time to find out how fast these cars go around our track. 378 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:27,940 That, of course, means handing them over to our tame racing driver. 379 00:28:27,940 --> 00:28:34,110 Some say that in his wallet he keeps a photograph of his wallet. 380 00:28:37,580 --> 00:28:43,740 And that in a recent race, even he was beaten by The King's Speech. 381 00:28:44,810 --> 00:28:46,860 All we know is he is called The Stig. 382 00:28:49,210 --> 00:28:50,710 And they're Off... 383 00:28:50,710 --> 00:28:54,930 The track is moist and that should favour the four-wheel drive Audi. 384 00:28:54,930 --> 00:29:01,260 Let's see as they come up to the first corner, Audi is OK there. 385 00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:04,790 What about the BMW? No, it is getting a bit out of shape. 386 00:29:04,790 --> 00:29:06,090 A bit squiggly, there. 387 00:29:06,390 --> 00:29:09,870 MUSIC: Tequila! It makes me happy! 388 00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:12,660 I have no idea why he is listening to that. 389 00:29:13,220 --> 00:29:16,000 There we are, the RS5's front end washing out. 390 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:22,900 The BMW still tail happy. Ok, the Hummerhead. Will the Audi follow its nose like a truffle pig? 391 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,130 It seems to be doing all right. 392 00:29:25,130 --> 00:29:27,820 The tyres are squealing though, with that precise Germanic pain. 393 00:29:27,820 --> 00:29:32,150 BMW drifting like a matt painted lunatic. 394 00:29:32,150 --> 00:29:35,750 Tequila! It makes me happy! 395 00:29:36,830 --> 00:29:39,990 Powering into the follow-through. 396 00:29:40,660 --> 00:29:42,380 The Audi has got its dander up now. 397 00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:45,260 Through the tyres, not much in it so far. 398 00:29:45,260 --> 00:29:48,390 Two corners left. Here they come now on the braking, 399 00:29:48,390 --> 00:29:50,890 the RS5 looking a bit squirrelly there. 400 00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,410 The brakes I must say are not that great on the track. 401 00:29:53,410 --> 00:29:56,950 They are both slithering through Gambon and there we are, across the line. 402 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:06,720 So the Audi RS5 did it - 1:27:5, so that's there, the moist symbol. The competition pack, 403 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,570 even though it does not have four-wheel drive and the track was a bit wet, 404 00:30:09,570 --> 00:30:14,230 1:26:5, so that goes there. Way faster. 405 00:30:14,230 --> 00:30:18,520 Yeah but hang on, where is normal M3? It is there, so it is not as fast. 406 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:23,660 The M3 is the best car. It always will be and there is no point ever thinking otherwise. 407 00:30:24,910 --> 00:30:28,830 Now, it is time to put a star in our reasonably priced car. 408 00:30:28,830 --> 00:30:32,560 My guest tonight appears in a new film alongside Nicolas Cage, 409 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:36,510 one of those films where everything explodes, there is a car chase and it is all in 3D. 410 00:30:36,510 --> 00:30:40,600 But she did cause a bit of a row in the office. 411 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:45,530 You see, the producers said, you cannot have her on because nobody has ever heard of her. 412 00:30:45,530 --> 00:30:53,300 I said, yes that is true, but she is bisexual. And she likes guns and muscle cars. And I won. 413 00:30:53,300 --> 00:30:56,730 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Amber Heard! 414 00:31:15,650 --> 00:31:23,240 Carlsberg do not do guests for chat shows but if they did, that is pretty close to perfect. 415 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:24,240 Where do we begin? 416 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,100 I hear that is a good sign. It is a good sign. 417 00:31:27,100 --> 00:31:30,400 I am trying to think of anybody else I would rather be sitting and talking to now... 418 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:32,240 No, can't think of anybody. 419 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,920 The films you have been previously haven't really allow you to indulge 420 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,780 this passion for guns and muscle cars, I guess. 421 00:31:40,780 --> 00:31:43,650 Really, what was that, the Pineapple Express, Zombie Land.. 422 00:31:43,650 --> 00:31:47,600 And then what was that one where you're pretty much naked throughout? The Informers. 423 00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:49,720 The Informers, I've watched it a lot. 424 00:31:51,420 --> 00:31:53,940 I think that's why people watch it at all, to be honest. 425 00:31:53,940 --> 00:31:55,950 I am watching it now. 426 00:31:57,290 --> 00:31:58,900 Come back to me! 427 00:31:59,370 --> 00:32:04,980 But the new movie, the new movie Drive Angie in 3-D, Nicolas Cage, 428 00:32:04,980 --> 00:32:07,600 this is written with you in mind. 429 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:11,750 This movie is so BLEEP cool. It is. 430 00:32:14,020 --> 00:32:20,460 It's loud guns, fast cars and short shorts on me, not Nicolas Cage. 431 00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:24,550 We have actually got a clip of the film. We will show that to you now. 432 00:32:24,550 --> 00:32:26,010 Let's look at that. 433 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,180 Tell them I'm coming. You're too late. 434 00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:33,930 Hell already is walking the earth. 435 00:32:33,930 --> 00:32:38,190 He broke out of hell to make things right. 436 00:32:38,190 --> 00:32:41,930 Now he's got one last shot at redemption. 437 00:32:47,670 --> 00:32:50,030 Just so you know I don't pick up hitch-hikers. 438 00:32:50,030 --> 00:32:51,090 I didn't have my thumb out. 439 00:32:54,170 --> 00:32:56,260 Between now and then I'mma mess you up. 440 00:33:09,510 --> 00:33:12,040 That's got all the things we need. Yeah. 441 00:33:16,130 --> 00:33:18,800 I drove the BLEEP out of that car. 442 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:24,220 I did almost all my own stunts and jumping out of the car on to the other car I did. 443 00:33:24,220 --> 00:33:26,350 You did do that? Yeah. That was me. 444 00:33:26,350 --> 00:33:29,330 Presumably you could get that badly wrong and go through the windscreen? 445 00:33:29,330 --> 00:33:30,670 We have to do it over and over again. 446 00:33:30,670 --> 00:33:34,900 Doing it once is no problem but doing it ten times - 447 00:33:34,900 --> 00:33:38,720 every day I came home with bruises and scrapes. 448 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,440 That must take forever. It does take a long time. 449 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,420 So muscle cars, where does this love come from? 450 00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:48,480 I am from Texas and I think that had something to do with it. 451 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:52,210 It helps being from the south, people are obsessed with their cars there. 452 00:33:52,210 --> 00:33:56,780 Have you got one? Yes, I drive a 68 Mustang in LA. That's my car. 453 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:05,730 You have just grown a third leg. He has. 454 00:34:10,380 --> 00:34:12,000 Has it always been muscle cars or did you 455 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,390 go through a period of rabbit or whatever? 456 00:34:14,390 --> 00:34:16,450 I have had everything... 457 00:34:16,450 --> 00:34:18,570 It's a Golf, stupid idiot! 458 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:24,450 Has it always been a love of old American big V8s? 459 00:34:24,450 --> 00:34:29,780 I have had a 67 Mercedes, a 62 Checker. The cab? Yes. 460 00:34:29,780 --> 00:34:33,310 The Mustang is that in Los Angeles? Yes, that's my baby. 461 00:34:33,310 --> 00:34:38,660 What colour is it? It was cherry red until the last time it got stolen. 462 00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:39,780 It gets stolen a lot. 463 00:34:39,780 --> 00:34:40,950 Why does it get stolen so much, 464 00:34:40,950 --> 00:34:44,910 I would have thought it was easy to find someone driving a 68 Mustang? 465 00:34:44,910 --> 00:34:48,690 Apparently burglars or whatever you call them - car thieves. 466 00:34:48,690 --> 00:34:50,940 Bustards is another one. 467 00:34:52,450 --> 00:34:54,180 I like how you say it. 468 00:34:54,180 --> 00:34:58,050 Anyway, apparently it's easy to find for all sorts of people. 469 00:34:58,050 --> 00:35:04,760 Most people that talk here about car who is live in California have bought a Toyota... Prius. 470 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,390 Why haven't you gone down that route? 471 00:35:06,390 --> 00:35:10,880 I don't blame people for buying them, that's great, smart. 472 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,680 You have a Prius? I DO NOT have a Prius. 473 00:35:15,380 --> 00:35:17,780 I loath them with an unbridled passion! 474 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:23,370 When people say I have a Prius because I care, I care about the environment, 475 00:35:23,370 --> 00:35:25,290 shirts made from leaves. 476 00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:29,700 My shirt is made from leaves. Is it? No, no. It's just - 477 00:35:32,580 --> 00:35:36,980 I mean the Nickell for the batteries in that thing is mined in Canada 478 00:35:36,980 --> 00:35:40,740 and it's taken to Norway and go to Japan. 479 00:35:40,740 --> 00:35:44,530 It's done two and a half million miles before you buy it in California. 480 00:35:44,530 --> 00:35:46,980 I just ram into them in your Mustang if I was you. 481 00:35:46,980 --> 00:35:49,600 I have done that in a Checker. 482 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:53,220 hit a Prius? I rammed into a couple of them, not just one. 483 00:35:56,590 --> 00:35:59,490 I would have just laughed. 484 00:36:01,460 --> 00:36:03,900 We have done cars now. We will move on to guns. 485 00:36:03,900 --> 00:36:06,970 You are obviously from Texas, it's part of the culture there, I guess. 486 00:36:06,970 --> 00:36:08,380 You grew up with them. 487 00:36:08,380 --> 00:36:12,810 I grew up around guns, around gun owners and users. 488 00:36:12,810 --> 00:36:16,860 My dad at any given point had several, it's the culture. 489 00:36:16,860 --> 00:36:21,590 I have a gun myself. What sort? A 357 Magnum. 490 00:36:23,940 --> 00:36:25,170 I have gone again. 491 00:36:26,740 --> 00:36:30,060 Have you ever fired a machine gun? I have. I have actually. 492 00:36:32,340 --> 00:36:36,240 A automatic weapon, I set fire to Arizona once with one of those, 493 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:42,200 you are just firing away, it's brilliant. and oh God, the desert is on fire. 494 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,020 Great fun. Sounds like you know how to party... 495 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:53,480 On that bombshell, it's time to end. Thank you for watching, good night. 496 00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:59,960 Obviously, you are from Texas. Austin, I believe. Yeah. 497 00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:03,530 I went there once and went to a bar called the Broken Spoke. 498 00:37:03,530 --> 00:37:08,020 Have you been there? I used to square dance. 499 00:37:08,020 --> 00:37:10,130 You didn't do line dancing? Oh, yeah. 500 00:37:10,130 --> 00:37:12,920 I am from Texas after all. 501 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:14,620 The guy that ran it, I can remember watching, 502 00:37:14,620 --> 00:37:19,620 we don't have none of that fancy water. 503 00:37:19,620 --> 00:37:21,070 I think that was my dad. 504 00:37:22,710 --> 00:37:24,480 So, when you went back to Texas, 505 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,970 which is a deeply conservative neck of the woods. 506 00:37:26,970 --> 00:37:27,880 Bible belt. 507 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,130 And said this is my girlfriend, 508 00:37:31,390 --> 00:37:35,410 how did it go down? I think that, you know, I have always been - 509 00:37:35,410 --> 00:37:37,660 I used to go to Catholic school and got in trouble 510 00:37:37,660 --> 00:37:42,110 for the books I read, written by George Orwell... 511 00:37:42,110 --> 00:37:44,190 You read a George Orwell book in Texas? 512 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,700 I found myself going against the grain and 513 00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:52,820 I have had to confront preconceived notions 514 00:37:52,820 --> 00:37:55,250 for what a girl like me should be like 515 00:37:55,250 --> 00:37:58,070 my whole life and I have always been myself and done my own thing. 516 00:37:58,070 --> 00:38:01,430 I am surprised you weren't put in an electric chair for reading George Orwell? 517 00:38:01,430 --> 00:38:02,870 Because he is a communist. 518 00:38:02,870 --> 00:38:04,360 I carry a gun. 519 00:38:06,950 --> 00:38:10,120 You came here to do your lap wearing those shoes. 520 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:11,710 These are my driving shoes. 521 00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:15,260 Did you do a lap in those? They wouldn't let me. 522 00:38:15,260 --> 00:38:18,210 They made me wear a helmet too, can you believe that? 523 00:38:18,210 --> 00:38:21,090 Made you what? Wear a helmet, with this hair. 524 00:38:22,870 --> 00:38:26,730 fluffed up nicely. Thank you. I have a good fluffer. 525 00:38:31,740 --> 00:38:36,420 Stig, OK, he was very - please don't take this the wrong one, 526 00:38:36,420 --> 00:38:40,380 he is a very unusual person he was very disappointed when you arrived 527 00:38:40,380 --> 00:38:44,240 because he was expecting Thora Hird, not Amber. I don't know... 528 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:51,040 He has a complete crush on her. He loves her. 529 00:38:52,100 --> 00:38:54,590 How did you manage to get on with our Cee-apostrophe-d? 530 00:38:54,590 --> 00:38:56,030 It did OK on the track. 531 00:38:56,030 --> 00:38:59,330 Don't know if it would be my everyday car, but it did OK on the track. 532 00:38:59,330 --> 00:39:03,190 Shall we find out. Who would like to see Amber's lap? 533 00:39:04,490 --> 00:39:05,730 Here we go. 534 00:39:09,380 --> 00:39:11,930 There's no wheel spin. I was trying. 535 00:39:14,380 --> 00:39:19,230 What are you wearing on your hands? Gloves. What, driving gloves? 536 00:39:20,100 --> 00:39:23,130 Wow, that's how go through there! 537 00:39:24,380 --> 00:39:26,060 Not all the road, but not bad. 538 00:39:26,060 --> 00:39:28,360 Look at those gloves! 539 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,720 Are you actually a murderer, part time? Yes! 540 00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:35,100 They look like strangler's gloves, to me. 541 00:39:35,100 --> 00:39:38,560 This feels very illegal. Like it should be illegal. 542 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,380 No no no, you can drive as fast as you like in Britain, you're OK. 543 00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:43,410 There are yellow boxes to record it for you. 544 00:39:43,410 --> 00:39:45,050 They send you a note of praise. 545 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,530 That's not bad, a bit of understeer, not your fault. 546 00:39:50,140 --> 00:39:51,680 This does not have quite the same intensity 547 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,450 when you watch it back. No, you're right. 548 00:39:57,140 --> 00:39:59,410 Open your eyes! Keep your eyes open, 549 00:39:59,410 --> 00:40:01,260 you're not going in that corner. 550 00:40:01,260 --> 00:40:02,660 That looks pretty quick, actually. 551 00:40:02,660 --> 00:40:07,130 BLEEP. Have a look in here, cut it. 552 00:40:08,020 --> 00:40:09,640 That is quite uncomfortable when you do that. 553 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,140 Right, coming up, second to last corner. 554 00:40:11,140 --> 00:40:12,450 This is where most people get it wrong. 555 00:40:13,510 --> 00:40:14,730 I think you're on the wrong side of the road. 556 00:40:14,730 --> 00:40:20,180 There we are, in to Gambon, where Tom Cruise damn nearly rolled over. 557 00:40:20,180 --> 00:40:22,670 And there we are, across the line! 558 00:40:31,950 --> 00:40:35,100 Where do you reckon you have come? I have no idea. 559 00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:38,340 Well, Tom Cruise is 1:44:2. That show-off! 560 00:40:38,340 --> 00:40:39,720 It was a bit show-offy. 561 00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:42,860 Cameron Diaz, who you probably also know, is 1:45:2. 562 00:40:42,860 --> 00:40:51,680 really? Anyway, you did it in one minute, 50.3. 563 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,680 Which is the slowest dry lap we have ever had! 564 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,500 Oh no! 565 00:40:59,020 --> 00:41:00,770 It is a record of sorts! 566 00:41:05,620 --> 00:41:09,500 The most important thing is that we now know you are a beautiful, 567 00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:15,350 well read and intelligent, well travelled, bisexual gun and muscle car enthusiast. 568 00:41:15,350 --> 00:41:20,290 Ladies and gentlemen, you really have struck lucky this week, Amber Heard! 569 00:41:23,050 --> 00:41:24,980 Thank you. 570 00:41:36,180 --> 00:41:40,240 Right. Now. This evening we solved Britain's financial crisis 571 00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:43,460 by making a combine harvester into a snow plough. 572 00:41:43,460 --> 00:41:47,600 Earlier on in Norway, we used it to make a runway on a frozen lake. 573 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,680 If we are honest, things did not go entirely to plan. 574 00:41:51,550 --> 00:41:55,340 No. The aeroplane that we landed sort of crashed a bit, 575 00:41:55,340 --> 00:41:58,620 but never mind that. We pick up the action later that same evening, 576 00:41:58,620 --> 00:42:02,290 heading for a nearby town, where Jeremy was very keen 577 00:42:02,290 --> 00:42:05,360 to try out a de-icing he fitted. 578 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:17,820 I am the God of hellfire and I bring you fire! Yes! 579 00:42:20,590 --> 00:42:24,210 "As we entered the town, we all went to action stations. 580 00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:25,930 I turning the Bovril on. 581 00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:33,000 Hammond! You have got good grit! 582 00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,770 "Unfortunately, communications were a bit ropey". 583 00:42:40,630 --> 00:42:42,910 Stop! Stop we've hit a building! 584 00:42:42,910 --> 00:42:45,360 Fans are on, going forward. 585 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:50,600 stop! Stop Stop Stop! James, James stop! 586 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:55,420 No, do not stop. Drive! Drive! Just drive away, James. 587 00:42:55,420 --> 00:42:57,040 He did it! He did it! 588 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:58,770 "Annoyingly, it was a dead end, 589 00:42:58,770 --> 00:43:01,330 so James had to do a three-point turn, 590 00:43:01,330 --> 00:43:04,430 which he is not that good at in a normal car". 591 00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:09,680 Stop stop stop! 592 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:15,000 "If I am honest, Jeremy and I were not much help". 593 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:19,950 Hard left, hard left. Up to the right. 594 00:43:19,950 --> 00:43:22,310 Not now, wait until the top of the slope! Not now! 595 00:43:24,970 --> 00:43:29,200 Maybe straighten up now. I have also had a wee. 596 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:33,220 Can you give me sort of clear instructions rather than a load of hysteria? 597 00:43:33,220 --> 00:43:35,160 I have no idea what is going on. 598 00:43:36,870 --> 00:43:39,870 "After much palaver, we finally broke free". 599 00:43:41,020 --> 00:43:44,560 We have damaged it quite badly at the back. And that house. 600 00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:49,440 But it is OK, because we have gritted at least 30 ft of road. 601 00:43:55,230 --> 00:43:58,420 "On the High Street, we had yet more success". 602 00:44:03,910 --> 00:44:07,760 I am in a Ford Sierra Cosworth seat with a flamethrower. 603 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,960 It is not possible to be happier than that. 604 00:44:12,430 --> 00:44:14,590 Here we go, burning the bank! 605 00:44:14,590 --> 00:44:18,310 We are gritting, we are flame throwing, 606 00:44:18,310 --> 00:44:22,160 we have done a bit of ploughing, it is all marvellous. 607 00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,580 We are International Rescue. We are Thunderbirds! 608 00:44:27,580 --> 00:44:31,570 Cruising through Norway, looking for people who need our services. 609 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,770 I have to do the three-point turn now chaps, we are at the end. 610 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,080 I will provide the rear lighting. 611 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,920 It is like a reversing light, this. kind of. 612 00:44:43,620 --> 00:44:48,540 When Jeremy fires his flame-thrower, I can see a little bit in that mirror. 613 00:44:48,540 --> 00:44:52,010 Keeps going backwards James. 614 00:44:52,010 --> 00:44:54,800 Oh look! No, no! 615 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,540 Look what I have done! What have you done! 616 00:44:57,450 --> 00:44:59,490 Go Go Go! 617 00:44:59,490 --> 00:45:02,610 "Again, There was only one thing to do." 618 00:45:02,610 --> 00:45:07,330 Are we running away? I have no idea what is happening. 619 00:45:09,500 --> 00:45:12,420 "After much driving around and doing things, 620 00:45:12,420 --> 00:45:15,300 we were hungry, and the tank was empty". 621 00:45:16,220 --> 00:45:19,120 Dive in here for fuel and a bag of crisps and then we will carry on. 622 00:45:23,420 --> 00:45:26,060 Does he realise how much the back swings out!? 623 00:45:27,220 --> 00:45:30,570 I am going to clear this thing of snow for them, 624 00:45:30,570 --> 00:45:31,730 that will make them happy. 625 00:45:31,730 --> 00:45:32,830 Watch this! 626 00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:36,430 Cock! 627 00:45:40,030 --> 00:45:41,000 Why have we stopped? 628 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:44,430 I was trying to clear that thing of snow but it has got a car in it. 629 00:45:45,620 --> 00:45:48,640 -雷锋没学成，变雷人了O(∩_∩)O- I was going to be helpful and clear that, there was a car in it. 630 00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,570 A car? The whole thing was covered in snow. I thought it was a pile of snow. 631 00:45:51,570 --> 00:45:55,290 It is not covered in snow! Not any more, you moron! It was! 632 00:45:55,290 --> 00:45:57,620 Why did you ram a car? He rammed into a car! 633 00:45:57,620 --> 00:45:59,770 I was trying to be helpful! 634 00:45:59,770 --> 00:46:01,620 "There was only one thing to do". 635 00:46:01,620 --> 00:46:04,140 Go, go. Run away, run away. 636 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:11,660 "So far then, we had crashed a plane, ruined a car, burned a sign 637 00:46:11,660 --> 00:46:15,900 and smashed a house. Then, things got worse". 638 00:46:19,820 --> 00:46:25,260 Hang on, my flame-thrower is jammed! The flame-thrower is jammed! 639 00:46:26,630 --> 00:46:27,830 So what are you doing? 640 00:46:29,820 --> 00:46:33,040 I can see a yellow mist in the mirror. 641 00:46:36,190 --> 00:46:37,380 There is a man on fire! 642 00:46:37,970 --> 00:46:40,320 James, Jeremy has set fire to a skier. Run away. 643 00:46:42,690 --> 00:46:45,190 I think that if we do get reported to the police, 644 00:46:45,190 --> 00:46:48,030 it will not take them very long to find us. 645 00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:52,410 "Still, as we were not actually being stoned by an angry mob, 646 00:46:52,410 --> 00:46:55,850 we went to bed that night feeling quite cheerful. 647 00:46:57,660 --> 00:47:00,760 However, the next morning, there was bad news. 648 00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:10,790 What does it actually say? Is it upbeat? 649 00:47:10,790 --> 00:47:13,110 I do not think it is going to be upbeat, is it? 650 00:47:14,020 --> 00:47:18,160 HE ATTEMPTS TO READ THE NORWEGIAN ARTICLE OUTLOUD. 651 00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:21,370 "An incredibly small man knocked my house"?... 652 00:47:21,370 --> 00:47:23,070 Good morning! 653 00:47:23,630 --> 00:47:24,670 We are in the paper. 654 00:47:26,100 --> 00:47:28,610 It says what a good service we provided? 655 00:47:28,610 --> 00:47:30,140 We cleared the snow and... No. 656 00:47:30,140 --> 00:47:34,260 "A man who looked like a dog crashed into one of my trees", 657 00:47:34,260 --> 00:47:36,650 I do not think it is a good idea to stay here any more. 658 00:47:36,650 --> 00:47:38,270 Can I make a suggestion? Yes. 659 00:47:38,270 --> 00:47:40,550 Since this is a sort of prototype and we are testing it, 660 00:47:40,550 --> 00:47:42,820 why don't we go and test it on a country road 661 00:47:42,820 --> 00:47:46,210 where there is just snow? No people. 662 00:47:46,210 --> 00:47:48,880 No people or cars or buildings or trees or benches, 663 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:50,710 let's just try and clear some snow. 664 00:47:52,420 --> 00:47:56,080 "This was a good idea. So we fired up the dominator and 665 00:47:56,080 --> 00:48:01,050 headed for a road so remote, even the Nors had abandoned it to the weather. 666 00:48:05,390 --> 00:48:09,670 A mountain pass called 'the road of terror', probably". 667 00:48:13,430 --> 00:48:17,250 If we can open this one road... 668 00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:22,400 have proven the work of this machine, internationally. 669 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,630 And I think we will be forgiven for all the small things 670 00:48:24,630 --> 00:48:25,500 we have done wrong. 671 00:48:25,500 --> 00:48:29,030 The man on fire, houses, the car and the sign. 672 00:48:31,990 --> 00:48:36,300 "Eventually, we arrived at the gates of a frozen hell". 673 00:48:37,550 --> 00:48:39,760 One of a problems we found yesterday was that 674 00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:41,990 you tend to get snow sticking to the plough, 675 00:48:41,990 --> 00:48:44,250 building up and it does not work as well. 676 00:48:44,250 --> 00:48:48,080 So, an idea that I had is to cover the plough itself 677 00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:50,470 in a mixture of oil and diesel. 678 00:48:50,470 --> 00:48:52,820 I am now doing it, because it is my idea. 679 00:48:52,820 --> 00:48:54,200 He is claiming it is his idea. 680 00:48:55,870 --> 00:48:59,600 I happen to know he was talking to a snowplough driver in the bar last night. 681 00:49:00,940 --> 00:49:02,200 Nothing is going to stick to that. 682 00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:06,050 "With the preparations done, we set off ". 683 00:49:11,940 --> 00:49:13,520 Come on, dominator! 684 00:49:15,060 --> 00:49:19,410 "Our destination was a desolate hamlet 10 kilometres away". 685 00:49:21,590 --> 00:49:23,060 Look at that. 686 00:49:24,530 --> 00:49:28,780 Boldly ploughing where no Norwegian has ploughed so far this winter. 687 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,760 This is a 1980s machine, so that is a cassette player. 688 00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:41,010 Do you think James is getting lonely downthere? He will love it. 689 00:49:41,010 --> 00:49:46,110 And I bet 10 million he is fantasising about a being a lone skipper 690 00:49:46,110 --> 00:49:50,350 of some weather battered trawler out in the North Sea. 691 00:49:50,350 --> 00:49:55,770 A lone skipper, but with one quite attractive man in the galley. 692 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:07,360 "With the oiled plough siding nicely through the snow, 693 00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,730 Jeremy and I swung into action." 694 00:50:13,930 --> 00:50:16,110 Burn Baby Burn! 695 00:50:25,100 --> 00:50:27,060 The gritting is going well, Hammond. 696 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:44,730 I have lost my wedding ring! 697 00:50:44,730 --> 00:50:47,350 What? I have lost my wedding ring! 698 00:50:48,550 --> 00:50:50,460 Has it gone in the thing? It must have done. 699 00:50:53,210 --> 00:50:55,120 That is a tricky one to explain. 700 00:50:56,710 --> 00:51:00,890 "Soon though, we had bigger things to worry about than Hammond's ring". 701 00:51:00,890 --> 00:51:01,680 Oh, hang on. 702 00:51:05,070 --> 00:51:07,580 What was that? I nearly went through the windscreen. 703 00:51:08,380 --> 00:51:11,610 "But a snowy hillock was no match for the dominator". 704 00:51:12,420 --> 00:51:13,810 Take this, snow. 705 00:51:15,150 --> 00:51:17,230 Charge! 706 00:51:21,670 --> 00:51:22,680 We're through! 707 00:51:26,050 --> 00:51:29,860 "However, while the battering ram was OK in this lonely place, 708 00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:36,400 the rear wheel steering was a nightmare". 709 00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:41,540 Oh no, no no no! A tank slapper. 710 00:51:45,290 --> 00:51:47,290 Don't do it! It has got a mind of its own! 711 00:51:48,590 --> 00:51:51,890 "On the hills, we had a serious power shortage". 712 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:57,400 James, is that full-speed? Yes it is. 713 00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:06,280 We are stuck. 714 00:52:07,300 --> 00:52:09,310 If you think about it, a combine harvester was designed 715 00:52:09,310 --> 00:52:13,160 to never work in the snow, or the rain, or on a hill. 716 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,790 It is always flat ground on lovely summer's evenings. 717 00:52:16,340 --> 00:52:18,210 It is out of its comfort zone here. 718 00:52:19,030 --> 00:52:21,710 "Which meant that sadly, so was I". 719 00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,250 He will want the Victoria Cross now, for using a shovel. 720 00:52:30,250 --> 00:52:31,320 He will. 721 00:52:33,970 --> 00:52:36,260 Will I just raise the plough and take his head off? Yes. 722 00:52:36,260 --> 00:52:38,570 Oh, for god's sake! 723 00:52:40,450 --> 00:52:43,510 "Each kilometre was now a growing challenge. 724 00:52:47,580 --> 00:52:51,280 My ingenious snow measuring tactic did not go brilliantly". 725 00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,750 "But the Top Gear snowbine kept on moving". 726 00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:02,640 Go! Full power! 727 00:53:09,050 --> 00:53:11,260 Look at us carving a path. Look, that is ours. 728 00:53:12,820 --> 00:53:16,560 This road is open and will remain so until it snows again! 729 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:20,300 Tonight, probably. Or tomorrow. 730 00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:27,540 'Warning - the Top Gear Snowbine Harvester is approaching!' 731 00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:30,570 This is really annoying. For the first time in my life 732 00:53:30,570 --> 00:53:34,740 I have one of these Tannoy things and there is absolutely nobody to talk to. 733 00:53:40,070 --> 00:53:42,020 James, there is one kilometre to go! 734 00:53:42,020 --> 00:53:45,510 One more kilometre and this road is open. 735 00:53:46,460 --> 00:53:49,060 Who fancies a celebratory Bovril, when we get there? 736 00:53:50,420 --> 00:53:53,520 Unless Bovril is a code word for something dirty, I do not want to do that. 737 00:53:54,870 --> 00:53:57,130 Hang on, getting a bit of a tank slapper. 738 00:53:57,130 --> 00:53:58,840 It is wandering off! 739 00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:02,130 Oh no! 740 00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:09,490 BLEEP. 741 00:54:10,420 --> 00:54:14,510 "This time, we had come off the road and into a massive snowdrift". 742 00:54:19,730 --> 00:54:22,040 Jesus wept. That is a lot of snow. 743 00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:26,850 The snow out here, that we are in, is incredibly deep. 744 00:54:26,850 --> 00:54:28,840 Yes, that is what I feared. 745 00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:31,190 It felt quite deep as it went off the edge. 746 00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:35,730 You can see the extent of the problem is quite big. 747 00:54:35,730 --> 00:54:41,270 A whole machine is... BLEEP. 748 00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:46,050 "So, one wheel was stuck and one was spinning uselessly". 749 00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:47,600 Full power! 750 00:54:54,090 --> 00:54:54,880 It is not going to do it. 751 00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:01,880 "Spurred on by the previous day's failures, we dug furiously". 752 00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:09,690 Just for once, I want to do something properly. 753 00:55:10,710 --> 00:55:15,230 I want to clear this road and do it. No cocking about. 754 00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:26,300 This is coming out. Do not rock it back. Now forwards! 755 00:55:28,290 --> 00:55:29,970 That feels abusive. 756 00:55:32,310 --> 00:55:34,960 I am wearing the clutch out, hang on, it is starting to smell. 757 00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:37,300 Do not stop, James! 758 00:55:37,300 --> 00:55:39,940 "With darkness falling and the temperature dropping, 759 00:55:39,940 --> 00:55:42,610 this was no time for mechanical sympathy". 760 00:55:43,090 --> 00:55:44,850 Come on, James. We can do this. 761 00:55:51,620 --> 00:55:53,980 Nearly! Power! 762 00:56:00,550 --> 00:56:04,400 Yes, come on! Come on! 763 00:56:08,550 --> 00:56:12,500 Yes! Yes! Yes! That's it, climb aboard. 764 00:56:15,170 --> 00:56:17,760 "The dominator surged forwards. 765 00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:23,350 Soon, our destination hoved into view. 766 00:56:28,870 --> 00:56:33,580 We are so nearly there. Look at that! 767 00:56:37,240 --> 00:56:42,810 That is a blaze of glory! Blaze of glory, grit and Bovril. 768 00:56:45,330 --> 00:56:50,190 Ladies and gentlemen the Top Gear snowbine harvester has arrived. 769 00:56:52,020 --> 00:56:53,360 "And so, there we are. 770 00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,470 For once in our wretched lives on this programme, 771 00:56:56,470 --> 00:56:59,970 we had actually done what we set out to do". 772 00:57:01,470 --> 00:57:05,330 You know what? What? We have been ambitious and brilliant, 773 00:57:05,330 --> 00:57:07,880 and it is all thanks to the dominator. Successful. 774 00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:10,080 Gentleman, it has been a pleasure ploughing with you. 775 00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:11,590 It has been a joy and an honour. 776 00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:13,860 That was the right road, wasn't it? 777 00:57:19,700 --> 00:57:22,560 We did something! We were actually good! 778 00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:26,180 I can hardly believe it but it is true, that's weird. 779 00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:33,050 Some conclusions we can draw from our outstanding success, there. 780 00:57:33,050 --> 00:57:36,900 Britain has 3700 snow ploughs and gritters, 781 00:57:36,900 --> 00:57:40,980 and spends 160 million per year clearing snow. 782 00:57:40,980 --> 00:57:45,180 Obviously, that is not enough because every time there is a light flurry, 783 00:57:45,180 --> 00:57:47,320 everything shuts down and closes. 784 00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:49,620 That is why our idea makes so much sense because 785 00:57:49,620 --> 00:57:53,390 there are 15,000 combine harvesters in Britain. 786 00:57:53,390 --> 00:57:56,380 All it takes to convert them into snowploughs is a spanner 787 00:57:56,380 --> 00:57:57,880 and a couple of burly men. 788 00:57:58,730 --> 00:58:00,630 Well, the gritter bit was a bit more complicated. 789 00:58:00,630 --> 00:58:02,830 And the flame-thrower. I am not sure you need that. 790 00:58:02,830 --> 00:58:05,720 you do. It is brilliant. It is a good reversing light. 791 00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:08,720 You set fire to a man. No, I did not! 792 00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:12,960 He spontaneously combusted as we were driving by. 793 00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,480 It was incredible. I have never seen anything like it. 794 00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:19,190 Anyway, the important thing is that our dominator was an old machine. 795 00:58:19,190 --> 00:58:22,100 If we used one of the more modern ones with more power, 796 00:58:22,100 --> 00:58:25,580 especially if it had four-wheel drive, it would be brilliant. 797 00:58:25,580 --> 00:58:26,410 It would. 798 00:58:26,410 --> 00:58:30,150 There we are, we have succeed where the Bank of England has failed. 799 00:58:30,150 --> 00:58:33,220 We have solved the country's financial crisis. 800 00:58:33,220 --> 00:58:35,260 And I think we will get marquises now. 801 00:58:35,260 --> 00:58:36,410 I suspect so, yes. 802 00:58:36,410 --> 00:58:39,000 So on that bombshell, it's time to end. 803 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,480 Thank you very much for watching, good night. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net