1 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:16,679 Fixed and Resynced for BIA Repack by - Cookie Monsta - 2 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:20,360 A fat man in a Kia... Woah, there she goes! 3 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:24,440 ..and a race against the Lord God Almighty. Come on! 4 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 5 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:34,320 Hello, everybody! Thank you so much. 6 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,240 Thank you very much. Thank you. 7 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:46,520 Richard Hammond says that back in the 1980s, when he was a small boy,- there were only two cars that 8 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:53,280 caused him to run about his house in Birmingham clutching feverishly at his as yet unformed tinkle. 9 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,640 LAUGHTER 10 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,680 So you can imagine how excited he was when 11 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:02,880 the producer said to him this week he could drive both of them. 12 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,440 We've been wanting to get these two together for as long as I can remember, 13 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,480 We've been wanting to get these two together for as long as I can remember, 14 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,320 and we've finally got hold of them. And, well, 15 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,560 which is why I've kipped the night at the track. 16 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,720 And I believe they are here. 17 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:36,040 In 1986, Porsche launched the greatest supercar 18 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:40,680 the world had ever seen, the 959. 19 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:46,600 And then, a year later, Ferrari responded with the greatest supercar 20 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,400 the world had ever seen, the F40. 21 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,560 Oh, my word! 22 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,520 Would you just look at that?! 23 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:04,840 I can't recall ever seeing these two- together on television before. 24 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:08,160 So let's get cracking, beginning with this one. 25 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,760 Come on, Richard, stay professional!- Oh, ho! Oh, ho! 26 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,880 When the 959 first came along in 1986, 27 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:25,920 it was the most advanced and most high-tech car ever made. 28 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:34,680 I'm not talking about the upmarket pleasantness of my surroundings, the- air-con, electric seats and so on. 29 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,400 No, it's cleverer stuff than that. 30 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,280 For example, it had adjustable suspension 31 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,840 and a complex four-wheel-drive system. 32 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:53,040 You could split the power between the front and back wheels not just according to how much grip you had 33 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,480 but how you were cornering, how much- G-force you were putting down. 34 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:00,560 You can just feel... 35 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:02,560 I mean, I've driven - I have owned -- 911s from this period, 36 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,240 I mean, I've driven - I have owned -- 911s from this period, 37 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,840 and this thing just feels so much more! 38 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,680 And the tech fest didn't stop there. 39 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:20,480 The 959 came with a million things we'd never seen before - 40 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:26,600 tyre pressure sensors, for example, and magnesium wheels with hollow spokes. 41 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:31,320 No wonder Bill Gates bought one. 42 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,480 And while we're on the subject of Billy Microsoft, 43 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:37,320 he was one of the few people back then who could have afforded to pay 44 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,200 the proper price for one of these things. 45 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:43,800 Because in the 80s, Porsche asked £150,000 for a 959, 46 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:49,720 but it actually cost them £300,000 to make, it was so advanced. 47 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:56,600 Other famous owners included my style hero Don Johnson, 48 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:02,440 and a young Boris Becker, who maxed out his 959 on the Italian Autostrada, 49 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,920 which must have been lively! 50 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,760 A 959 was fast. 51 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,560 Really fast. 52 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:17,920 Thanks to its 444 brake horse power,- 2.9 litre flat six turbocharged engine. 53 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:24,040 In fact, the top speed was 197 miles an hour... 54 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:29,720 ..which in 1986 made it the fastest production car in the world. 55 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,400 Oh! When the turbos come on! Oh, ho! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Oh! 56 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:42,920 However, its reign as the speed king- was short-lived... 57 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,800 ..thanks to this. 58 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:53,080 The 201 mile an hour Ferrari F40. 59 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,640 God! 60 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,040 It's the ONE that gets me. 61 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:07,040 Not 200, 201. 62 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:10,560 It's like when kids say, "Everything you say plus one!" 63 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:19,880 So we know that Ferrari has a higher top speed than the Porsche,- but what about acceleration? 64 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,720 You know, I feel a drag race coming on. 65 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:27,000 I am, as you know, a big fan of Porsches. 66 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:32,480 And it's not that I think that 959 is going to lose or anything, 67 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:38,040 but it's a cold day, and I think it's best if I stay here in this car, 68 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:42,440 the one that's 250 kilograms lighter 69 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:48,040 and has got 478 brake horse power instead of 444. 70 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,640 ENGINE REVS 71 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,000 Both these cars have twin turbos. 72 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,200 Both 2.9 litres. 73 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,520 Oh, it's going to be close! 74 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,880 It's going to be close! 75 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,160 I think the Porsche is taking it! 76 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,680 The Porsche is going to win! 77 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,600 Enzo would not like that result. 78 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:40,000 I'll be honest, a couple of my gear changes could have been slicker. 79 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:46,440 Dial out my iffy gear changes, though, and these two would cross the line neck-and-neck. 80 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,680 And that's odd, because they are very different. 81 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:55,680 Where the 959 is all hi-tech and luxury, 82 00:06:55,960 --> 00:07:02,480 the F40 has string for door handles,- no carpets and wind-up windows. 83 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:07,800 What you get in this car is a twin turbo V8, some windscreen wipers, 84 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,080 and that's about it. 85 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:19,480 It was the first car to be made entirely of carbon-fibre, 86 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,040 which is only just starting to happen in Formula One. 87 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,880 The lightness and the stiffness of it, allied to that colossal power, 88 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,280 made it a bit of a hyper go-kart through the corners. 89 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,000 As a Porsche fan, it pains me to say this, 90 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:41,040 but in the corners, the F40 is far more exciting. 91 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:46,520 God... The steering wheel is alive! 92 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,240 Oh! Ho, ho! 93 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,360 This thing is so sharp. 94 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,720 Oh, God! 95 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,680 I'm sorry to keep squeaking 96 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,480 and making noises, and if it's disturbing you, I apologise. 97 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,720 So often it is, "Don't drive your heroes." 98 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,720 Not this time. 99 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,440 It's better than I could have imagined. 100 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:19,120 Better than I ever knew as a kid looking at pictures of it. 101 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:34,760 Choosing between these two is like choosing between shirt or trousers -- it's pointless. 102 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:39,000 But I will stay this, we simply wouldn't be where we are now without them. 103 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:45,480 Because these two cars are, I believe, incredibly important. 104 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:52,520 It's this pair that took road cars to and beyond the 200-mile-an-hour barrier. 105 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,800 Before them we had Countaches and Testarossas, 106 00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:00,880 and in evolutionary terms they were like man first making it into space. 107 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,880 With these two, 108 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,600 it was man walking on the moon. 109 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,600 They really are that important. 110 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 111 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,480 Sorry. What? No, I'm sorry. Sorry. 112 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,120 Woah, woah, woah. Did you... 113 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,960 Did you say it was pointless to decide which of these was best? 114 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:38,240 Yeah. Well, it IS pointless. Well, apart from the fact that the 959 is 115 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:43,840 neither here nor there and the F40 is probably the greatest car ever built in human history. 116 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:49,440 No, look, if I'm honest I prefer the F40 as well, but we mustn't forget the 959 WAS important 117 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:54,880 because it set the trend for computers and sensors that modern supercars have followed ever since. 118 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,520 Yes, and I wish they hadn't. 119 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,560 I wish they'd all followed the route set by the F40 - 120 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:04,600 it's a twin turbocharged V8 go-kart, it's just very simple. It's better. I know what you mean, 121 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,320 it's analogue versus digital. It is. 122 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:10,320 But anyway, we must now find out how fast they go round our track. 123 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,960 The owners must be insane to let us do this. Of course. LAUGHTER 124 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,440 Handing them over to our tame racing driver. 125 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:22,320 Some say that his favourite disease- he had when he was a child was gout. LAUGHTER 126 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,840 And that he was very surprised this week when he was able to 127 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:30,040 pick up some remarkably cheap tickets for the Bahrain Grand Prix. 128 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,720 All we know is he's called the Stig! CHEERING 129 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,800 And he's... 130 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,760 not going anywhere. 131 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,600 He is obviously... There's something wrong there. Oh, dear, yes. 132 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,400 LAUGHTER There's something VERY wrong. What the Hell's happened there? 133 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:51,680 And across the line and into the garage! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 134 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:56,040 That's not good. It's awkward. You see? You see? 135 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,640 I know what you're going to say... 136 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:04,160 Let me say it anyway. The Ferrari is- fragile, that's why I like Porsche, because they may not be as exciting 137 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,640 to look at, but they are durable and tough, and that wins in the end. 138 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:12,280 Yes, yes, yes. All right. Come on, let's have a look at how the 959 got on. 139 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,920 And, yes, that one is actually going. 140 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,600 It is incredible how soft it looks as it rocks about. 141 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:26,040 Also looks rather old-fashioned and, I must say, very slow. 142 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,320 He's got a problem in there, he must have. 143 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,960 Here's Chicago. 144 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,040 That's an even bigger problem, that is. 145 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,520 Oh! 146 00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,720 So what had gone wrong? 147 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,640 What happened? Well, apparently... 148 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,800 yes, I've just heard that the turbos let go. 149 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:59,200 So that had no boost, that lost its seal, so what we've got here for the first time ever 150 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:04,080 is a DNF - a did not finish - and a DNS - did not start. Yeah. 151 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,280 LAUGHTER 152 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:07,720 Right, and now the news. 153 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:12,400 And the Bahrain Grand Prix, because- it's been cancelled, well this is a- bit of an issue, because...? 154 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,280 It was supposed to be the first race of the season. Yeah. 155 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:19,120 So are they going to replace it with something else, just going to forget about it? 156 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,520 Well, they can hardly stage it in Tunisia, can they? Maybe Egypt? 157 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,760 Wait, wait, wait. Why don't we offer them our track? 158 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,000 LAUGHTER 159 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,560 Really, why can't we hold it here? It makes sense. Most F1 teams are UK-based, 160 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,240 So it's convenient. 161 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:38,240 And catering, we've got that caravan- next to the security hut. Yes. 162 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,240 And if it rains, there is the security hut itself. 163 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,720 Were you all able to park easily today? ALL: YES. Oh, mate, F1 here. 164 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,560 Plus, Bahrain, incredibly boring track. 165 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,800 You can crash off for miles on those run-off areas and not actually hit anything. 166 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:59,520 Whereas here, we could offer the prestigious opportunity to crash into an old Boeing 747. 167 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,080 Hang on a minute, though. 168 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,080 Isn't our track a figure of eight? 169 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:07,640 Yes, it is! That makes it even better! Imagine, you're in an F1 car, you'd be flat out 170 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,880 towards follow-through. About to go right, and then there'd be 171 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:14,440 another F1 car coming the other way about to go left towards Chicago. 172 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:18,480 Your closing speed is about 350 miles an hour. 173 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,360 I think... I think the most common phrase 174 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:25,520 we'd hear from the commentary team would be, "Tumbling end over end." 175 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:29,840 Anyway, Bernie, if you like this idea or want to take us up on it, 176 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,440 "Well, you've got more viewers than us anyway." 177 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,360 Now, anyone here from London? 178 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:41,120 YES. Right. You're all familiar with the Westway? 179 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,000 It's a big snaking ribbon of tarmac that scythes 180 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,640 into the centre of the city, 181 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:50,320 the idea being it gets you in as quickly as possible and out as quickly as possible. 182 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:53,360 For many years it had a 50-mile-an-hour speed limit, which is too low, 183 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:57,360 but they've decided this week to lower it to 30. 30 miles an hour! 184 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,000 I tried driving down there earlier this week 185 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:04,080 at 30 miles an hour, I damn nearly caused 27 accidents. A little girl on a scooter, 186 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,960 she was like, "What are you doing, you idiot?!" 187 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:12,840 Isn't it a temporary speed limit while they do some works underneath the bridge bit or something? 188 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:18,480 Yes. But when they introduced the 70-mile-an-hour limit on all British motorways in 1965, 189 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:21,040 they said then that was temporary. Here we are 46 years later, 190 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:22,800 we've still got it. 191 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,840 Speed limits are like herpes. 192 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:30,080 Are they? Yeah, you get them, you never get rid of them. Forever.- LAUGHTER 193 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,760 It doesn't look... Why is that man nodding and going, "I know, yeah"? 194 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,720 I've got speed limits! 195 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,560 This road, OK, is run by Boris Johnson, yes? 196 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,920 Boris Johnson wrote a piece in Her Majesty's Daily Telegraph last week 197 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,000 in which he said he didn't want to be forced to wear a helmet while skiing 198 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,440 because as an individual he should be allowed to make up his own mind, 199 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,680 and he doesn't want governments telling him what to do. 200 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,800 HE CLEARS THROAT Boris... 201 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,960 I give you that. It is weird, isn't it? 202 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,840 We all think of Boris Johnson as being cuddly and affable and having slightly funny hair, 203 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,840 but history will remember him as Boris the Oppressor. 204 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,680 He is. Boris is a Russian name, 205 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,320 and this is a Russian thing to do. But listen, Boris, 206 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,000 when whatever it is you're doing under that bridge is finished, 207 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,040 I want to see that 30 limit gone. 208 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,080 A serious point if I may, last year we showed you a tribute 209 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,920 to Ayrton Senna on Top Gear, a little film we made. 210 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:25,360 Now there's a much longer one come out, 90 minutes, an incredible documentary. 211 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,400 This is completely unmissable. 212 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,240 I've got a clip for you here, I want you to have a look at this. 213 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:34,040 He will be ranked among the all-time greats. 214 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,640 Ayrton has a small problem, he thinks that he can't kill himself. 215 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,640 And I think that's very dangerous. 216 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,200 We are competing to win. 217 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:45,680 And if you no longer go for a gap, you are no longer a racing driver. 218 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:49,440 Senna is trying to go through on the inside! 219 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,680 I was treated like a criminal. 220 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,680 The best decision is MY decision. 221 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,680 Walking away from the dark forces just doesn't become an option. 222 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,960 I was not going to give up. 223 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,600 Real racing, that makes me happy. 224 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:19,040 There's footage in that you just can't believe. I've got goosebumps. 225 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,840 It's unbelievable. It's just won an award, actually, 226 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:28,000 at the Sundance Film Festival, as best documentary, and I'm really- not surprised. It's out in June. 227 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:32,600 If you've got any heart, any soul at all, you've got to go and see it, it's fantastic. 228 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:33,640 Anyway, moving on... 229 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:40,320 Yes, BMW has launched a whole sort of eco flavour of cars beginning with the letter "I". 230 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:45,480 They've got two so far, the i3 and the i8. Do you want to see a picture of them? Here they are. 231 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,240 Very difficult to see out of. Or get in. 232 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,880 That's not going to work, is it?! What is this current obsession 233 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,960 with putting "I" in front of things and believing that makes them special? 234 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,200 It started with the iPod, yeah, fair enough. 235 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:02,000 But we are going to have an iSandwich and iShoes. 236 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:06,320 I don't want an iInfection. No. I don't want one of THOSE, though. 237 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:11,200 Yeah. Oh, now, listen, Chrysler is going to launch this little £11,000 car in Britain, 238 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,880 and the first thing you need to know about it is it isn't a Chrysler. 239 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,680 What it is, OK, what happens is... Here's the story. 240 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,040 Fiat make the 500, OK? 241 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:25,400 They then give that to Lancia, who make it a bit longer and add two rear doors, 242 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,280 then Lancia give that to Chrysler, who take the Lancia badges off, 243 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,160 put Chrysler ones on and they're going to sell it in Britain. 244 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:36,840 So Fiat have gone as far as recycling their cars before they've even sold them? Yes. 245 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,440 It's not a car at all, it's kind of an archaeological dig. 246 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:40,560 You scratch away at the pads 247 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:45,760 then underneath you discover, "Yes, it was a Lancia." Then you go a bit further, you'll find it was a Fiat. 248 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:49,800 Not just a Fiat 500, because if you actually keep going, you'll find it's a Fiat Panda, 249 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:55,880 which is effectively what it is. Dig a bit further and you'll find a load of coins and a bronze helmet. 250 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,520 The Piltdown Man is in the glove box of that car. 251 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,160 Let's make it go away, because, more importantly, 252 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:05,480 Aston Martin, have launched a new car this week called the Virage. 253 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:09,440 The idea is fits between the quite soft and comfy DB9 and the much more expensive DBS. 254 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,920 Fantastic looking thing. 255 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:20,200 What is there to say? It's going to- cost, apparently, around £150,000, V12 engine, absolutely perfect. 256 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,520 Just one thing - underneath, of course, it is a Fiat 500. 257 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,080 Cos everything is. Because everything is. 258 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:31,320 Now, round about 20 years ago, Peugeot made the momentous decision 259 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:37,520 to stop making nice cars and make instead NOT very nice cars- for elderly people. 260 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:44,200 Yes, but now they've had another change of heart, and they've come up with this. It's called the EX1. 261 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:48,240 It's a twin-engined four-wheel drive electric roadster, and it's... 262 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,840 Well, the main purpose of it, really, Hammond, is to break records. 263 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,800 Rather like myself, actually. Really? Yeah. Anyway, 264 00:18:55,040 --> 00:19:00,560 look at this. You open the door, but when you do you also get... 265 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,320 A broken wrist? LAUGHTER 266 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,760 No, you also get... look, you get the seat. 267 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,640 Oh, wow! The seat is part of the climb in. 268 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:11,040 Half the car comes with it, so I'm actually getting into the door's pocket now 269 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,880 with all, like, the crisp packets and the change? Feet up, get your feet right up. 270 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:18,160 I put my feet in there? Yeah, and then... Oh, yes! Look at this! 271 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:22,040 Hey, that steering wheel is very Batman. It does all that and that. 272 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,280 And that's where the instruments are up on those two screens. 273 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,240 That's fantastic, look! 274 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:32,600 I have to say, for a Peugeot, especially, it looks absolutely fantastic. It's very funky... 275 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,400 Look at his face! It's very funky and very modern, 276 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,880 and you can expect to see this in your local Peugeot dealership... 277 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,360 never. 278 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:47,200 Moving on, with one of the most ambitious races we've ever staged. 279 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,640 As the sun sets, I will start from here, 280 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,280 Land's End, Britain's most westerly point, 281 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,000 and I will attempt to get to here 282 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,360 in Lowestoft, Britain's most easterly point, 283 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,000 before it rises again. 284 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,840 Now, to make this especially hard, I was made to do the race on 285 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:08,320 Midsummer's Day, during the shortest night we had. 286 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,560 This is a big one. 287 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,240 Space is a never-ending race track. 288 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,000 The thermal shock region on the prow of our Solar System, for example, 289 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:25,800 is screaming through the heavens at 490,000 mph. 290 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:30,880 Earth is hurtling round the sun at 67,000 mph. 291 00:20:31,040 --> 00:21:08,680 God, it seems, is a complete speed freak. 292 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:31,200 The supercharged V it is fast and 293 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:31,840 Stopwatch. This is it, then. We are Sunday-night 294 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,240 Sunday-night delegation, at big Jaguar 295 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:38,000 Jaguar verses God. It is like songs of 296 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:43,800 of Praise, with a supercharger. At 9:36pm, 297 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:47,640 9:36pm, the sun sank below the horizon. 298 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,440 horizon. And the race was on. Here we 299 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:56,000 we go! Now, that is what do 300 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,400 mysterious sunset green flash is 301 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,360 all about, obviously. It is God's 302 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:03,680 starting light. He wants to raise us! 303 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,760 Here are my issues. The sun will 304 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:11,400 rise over East Anglia at 4:30am. 305 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,680 That gives me at six hours and 306 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:19,440 and 54 minutes to do 432 miles. That 307 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:24,440 That means averaging 62 miles an hour. 308 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,320 At this stage, Don still had 309 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,720 4,200 miles to go before it reached 310 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,160 Lowestoft, but it was doing a massive 311 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,240 610 miles an hour. One 312 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:44,440 whole DUP, one red light, Godwins. And, 313 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:50,240 And, already he was playing dirty. 314 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,880 Get out of the way! They have all been 315 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,600 been to watch the sunset at Land's End 316 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,960 and now they're going back to the 317 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:03,280 hotel. This is bad, 30 miles an hour. 318 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,720 But then, the road 319 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,320 straightened out and did Jaguar pounced. 320 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,200 Overtaking! 321 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:24,120 Holy cow! This thing is fast. But 322 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:27,960 then, it kind of would be because the 323 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,840 the supercharged engine produces 324 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,280 more power and torque than a six- litre 325 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:42,000 V 12 in an Aston Martin Raff peak. 326 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,840 peak. It is unhinged performance, 327 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:47,880 that is what this is. I am going to 328 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:54,800 thrash God. But then he enlisted 329 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:59,600 the services of an unusual ally. 330 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:05,560 The devil's work! The cones went on 331 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,160 for miles and my average speed collapsed. 332 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,640 I am in Cornwall at doing 333 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:15,320 50 miles an hour. This son 334 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,000 has already risen in his Sydney. God 335 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:22,040 God was winning. Which meant that 336 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,440 when the road works finished, I 337 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:29,160 needed to get my foot down. Make it 338 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,280 This is quick car, but there is a 339 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:41,640 bit more to it than raw speed. 340 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:45,520 Sitting in an old Jaguar, even the 341 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:47,760 last one, was like sitting in a 342 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:54,520 country pub. You were cramps, but 343 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,560 this one, with the blue lighting, 344 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:02,160 they have even lined this cubbyhole 345 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,800 and glove box with purple velvet! 346 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,000 That is like lifting up the Queen's 347 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,560 Guard and finding she is wearing a 348 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:15,240 There are other thoughtful touches, too. 349 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:16,920 Oh-h-h-h, yes. Hard. 350 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,920 Oh, yeah. Lower, lower 351 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,920 There, there, there! 352 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:26,160 Yes, as I'm sure you realised, that's the seat massager at work. 353 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,760 It's, like, kneading me... 354 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,960 and all that. In the seat! 355 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,560 Then there's the stereo system. 356 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,080 In the last Jag, you got a gramophone with a dog sitting on it, 357 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:44,160 but in this, I've got 1,200 watts 358 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,640 and it will play anything. Anything. 359 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,280 You just.... 360 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,640 you push, you push... 361 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:54,840 that. 362 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:56,680 And... er... 363 00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:06,440 By the time I realised I didn't understand iPod connectivity, the sun was over Thailand. 364 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:14,080 And I was facing a decision made by thousands of holidaymakers every summer - 365 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:19,120 M5 and M4, or A303 past Stonehenge? 366 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:27,000 The motorway is 20 miles further, but probably better for fuel consumption. 367 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:33,360 But the A303 is more fun in a car like this. 368 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,280 Yeah, A303 it is! 369 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,200 This was a good call. 370 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,080 There's a whiff of NASCAR about this car. 371 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:56,000 And now I'm going to give it a bit more, because I'm going to engage Dynamic Mode. 372 00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,640 Look - the dials glow red. 373 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,120 What this does is firms everything up, gives you more punch. 374 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:10,040 And also, because the XJ is made entirely from aluminium, 375 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,760 it's much lighter than any other big car. 376 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,080 It feels like a sports car. 377 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,360 On good roads like these, 378 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,800 it's not far short of a masterpiece. 379 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,280 And because it has an active differential, you can do a slider. 380 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,160 The Jag set about chewing up the miles. 381 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:51,800 Druids! 382 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:02,440 By 1:45am, I figured I was in the lead, but I'd reach the M3. 383 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:07,960 Which was boring. So I decided to let the car drive itself. 384 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:12,640 Right, cruise control on. Very good system, this. 385 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:17,240 Set the speed at 70, and the road ahead is scanned by microwaves. 386 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:21,320 I'm going to hook on to the back of our camera car - there we go - 387 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:27,320 so now, if he speeds up, I speed if he slows down, I slow down. I don't have to do anything.up, 388 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,840 I can even choose what sort of distance I want to follow it at. 389 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:38,760 There's the safe distance there, right down to the full Audi. 390 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,840 Yes! There we are, that's the Audi following distance! 391 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,760 It was now late. 392 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:52,800 The motorway was monotonous and my thoughts turned to the business of staying sharp. 393 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,440 The production team, as usual, has provided me with a CD 394 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,920 to keep me awake on this long, perilous and difficult voyage. 395 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:07,200 'And it was while working at Radio Lancashire that I experienced a revelation. 396 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:11,680 'I took over as producer and presenter of the weekend mid-morning shows. 397 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:13,320 'I recorded on... 398 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,960 '..carol concerts, jumble sales...' 399 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,720 Hammond's adventures in local radio weren't helping. 400 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,440 '..record-breaking attempt, and sponsored swim.' 401 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,880 But soon, something else did. 402 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,320 Ooh, the fuel warning light is on! 403 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:32,000 INDISTINCT COMMENT 404 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:34,760 No! 405 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,920 A splash and dash pitstop cost precious moments. 406 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,800 Here we go. And then Beezlebub decided to cost me even more. 407 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,760 Oh, no, no... 408 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,120 This is exactly the sort of hold up I can do without. 409 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,960 Is anyone going to be working on them? I mean, really! 410 00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:00,760 So, you have to drive along at 50 miles an hour, glaring at the 411 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,680 speedometer, not looking at the road ahead. That's very dangerous. 412 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,840 It raises money for the government,- but it's very dangerous. 413 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:13,240 By the time the roadworks finished,- God was back in the lead. 414 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:17,120 He was now just over one hour from Lowestoft. 415 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:23,200 65 miles to go, and I would say that the inky blackness of night... 416 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,200 ..has become sort of royal blue. 417 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,480 I don't suppose the sun would be early, would it? 418 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,120 Would it do that? 419 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:41,160 There is a smudge in the sky, a big one. 420 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,520 The mother of fire, it seems, is coming back. 421 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,960 That is daylight. 422 00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:53,640 I have... 423 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,520 ..39 minutes. 424 00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:04,440 There were still 34 miles to go, but win or lose, I was glad I'd done this race in the Jag. 425 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,640 An S Class... 426 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:10,080 may be a comparable limo to this, 427 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:14,000 but an S Class doesn't go and stop and steer 428 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,400 anything like as well as this. 429 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,680 If you're a keen driver, 430 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,280 this is the only big car you can have. 431 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,800 The sun was now over Amsterdam 432 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,840 and would appear in Suffolk in just 12 minutes. 433 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,880 Come on, come on. 434 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,160 4.9 miles. 435 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,880 Right, where is.. 436 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,280 England's most easterly spot? 437 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,440 Come on, I'm lost! 438 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,280 No-o-o 439 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:02,520 red light now! 440 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:09,200 Come on! 441 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:12,640 This is it! 442 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:24,920 HE LAUGHS 443 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,040 Loser! 444 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,160 I may be the first person in history to call God a loser! 445 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,840 Here, let me just get this right. 446 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,560 It drives like a sports car? 447 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:58,320 Yes, very like. It just feels so light, it's incredible. 448 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:02,640 It's about £20,000 less than the equivalent Mercedes S Class. 449 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:04,400 Yep, the S63, definitely. 450 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:09,000 And it's faster than the Lord God Almighty? Yes, it is, just, by about five minutes. 451 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:14,040 But do you know what? I'm just not sure its the looks. I know. That's why we filmed it at night. 452 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:21,360 What makes it doubly annoying is that Bertolli, which is not Italy's- most successful styling house, 453 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:25,800 recently did the concept of what they think Jaguars of the future should look like. 454 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,040 That's why we've got a television here, so you can have a look. 455 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,880 This is just spectacular, from any angle. 456 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,280 That is absolutely glorious. 457 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,960 Am I right in thinking that's got suicide doors? 458 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:39,040 Yes, it has - they open this way. 459 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:43,040 Now, this is an absolutely fantastic car 460 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:47,200 and I just think if it looked like that, it would be the best car ever. 461 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:48,960 Absolutely ever. 462 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,720 Anyway, isn't it time you put a star- in our reasonably priced car? Yes. 463 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,000 I'm sort of delaying it, really. 464 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:59,120 Last week we had a very intelligent, beautiful... 465 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,080 lesbian... 466 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,680 muscle car enthusiast. 467 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,880 This week we've got the exact opposite of that. 468 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:11,200 Ladies and gentlemen, make some noises, please, for John Prescott. 469 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,520 CHEERING 470 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,200 Expected. 471 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,800 I knew they'd do that. 472 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:21,840 Lord John Prescott. 473 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,880 Thanks for those that cheered. 474 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,200 And those that booed, well, you know what you can do. 475 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,400 I don't know where to start with you. JOHN LAUGHS 476 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,600 I was wondering about that. So many questions. 477 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,720 I think the one that raises to the surface is, 478 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,960 what in the name of all that's holy 479 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,280 were you thinking when you said, 480 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:50,080 "Let's put a bus lane on the M4." 481 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,320 I'm glad you've said that. 482 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:02,000 Jeremy, I'm going to introduce you to a revolutionary thought - 483 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:05,320 you can go slower and get there quicker. 484 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,200 That's to do with flow. 485 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:12,720 As soon as you made it two lane and brought it from 70 to 50, they got there quicker, actually. 486 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:18,000 Cars as well. That's not possible. Don't take my word. Take the independent transport research. 487 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:22,120 It meant that the flow of the traffic was better. There were less accidents, less deaths. 488 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:26,240 I think that's an important factor.- You just want to speed everywhere, right? 489 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,720 In reality, what we've seen is the deaths of children and deaths of adults... 490 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:34,840 There aren't any children on the M4 bus lane! It's a motorway! 491 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,800 There are no schools there. 492 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,640 I used to be able to drive into London on three lanes. You made it two. 493 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,360 Yes. You put a speed camera, you made it 50. 494 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,280 That was daft. And it meant that the flow of the traffic was 495 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,200 better because people aren't rushing to the two lane from three. 496 00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,160 I've heard motorists cheering here,- but don't you get annoyed when someone wants to push in, 497 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,200 when you've done your three and your two? 498 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,480 How many people get annoyed at when they come down to three, come down to two? Public meeting! 499 00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:11,760 Put your hands up! There you are. John... 500 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,480 bloody well sit down! Sit down. 501 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:19,720 They're cheering for me, not you! 502 00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:21,280 All right, fair enough. 503 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,480 Fair enough. Let me ask you this. 504 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,680 If you believe that narrowing a motorway causes the traffic flow 505 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:31,560 to be improved, why did you widen the M25 and the M1? Well... 506 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,920 HE STAMMERS, CHEERING 507 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,120 Why did you do that? 508 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:40,800 Why didn't you narrow them? 509 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,840 If this is going to be a public meeting...! 510 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:49,120 Listen, from 1997, when we came in, right, 511 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,280 you guys in the public bought seven million more cars. 512 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:58,040 Now, if you look at the congestion,- seven million more cars. Right? 513 00:36:58,240 --> 00:37:01,520 You didn't get rid of the second car, did you? You passed it down. 514 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:05,560 So what is happening, the growth in cars on the motorway... AUDIENCE JEERS 515 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:09,240 That's the reality! John! 516 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,440 You don't want to face the facts, do you? 517 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,080 I knew I'd get that from you ruddy motorists! 518 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:20,800 In 1997, YOU said that if there weren't fewer cars on the roads, 519 00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:27,520 more people using buses by the time you finished in five years, you could be judged a failure. 520 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,320 I didn't say that. 521 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:30,720 You read it. 522 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,080 I know what I said, let me tell What did you say?you. 523 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:37,120 If I don't get more people using public transport, 524 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:40,720 and using their motor vehicles that's what I said.less, 525 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:45,160 But there are more people on trains now, more on buses, right? That was achieved. 526 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:45,800 But there are more people on trains now, more on buses, right? That was achieved. 527 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:49,040 What I didn't recognise, you bought seven million new cars! 528 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,840 That was because of the prosperity we brought you under Labour. You bankrupted the country! 529 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:02,280 You damn nearly bankrupt us! You won't get it from this outfit, be sure of it. 530 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:09,400 When somebody came to you one day and said that there was a problem with the environment and that man 531 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,600 was creating some carbon-dioxide, which was getting stuck in the upper atmosphere and this 532 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,440 was going to cause the world to melt, 533 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:17,040 you decided the best thing you could do is fly to the Maldives? 534 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,520 To go on a diving trip. No, I didn't. 535 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,840 I went to the Maldives, I was doing the negotiations at Kyoto. 536 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:29,240 There's no way you can bike there. No, but the Maldives isn't... Hang on. 537 00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:33,920 Just try to understand what you've got here. Kyoto's in Japan - it's not in the Maldives! 538 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,360 Hang on, just give your bloody brain a chance! 539 00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:39,800 I went to the Maldives, on the way to India. 540 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,680 I went to dive on the coral reefs. 541 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:46,800 I was arguing that what was happening is that 542 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:50,200 these coral reefs were being blanched and dying because the water was getting warm. 543 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:53,400 I wanted to bring home to people, look what is happening here. 544 00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,360 People didn't accept it in 1997. Why can't you do that from Hull? 545 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,120 Why did you need to go to the Maldives? 546 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:02,480 Because that's where you get... At taxpayers' expense of 6,500 quid? 547 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,680 You've sent me to Kyoto, I'm on the- way back by India. I negotiate with the Indian government. 548 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,480 I go via the Maldives and dive to look at the huge range of coral reef they've got there. 549 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,760 So, why did you then go to Sri Lanka? 550 00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,760 Sri Lanka was the stop-off for the plane. I didn't go to Sri Lanka. 551 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:19,680 I thought you looked at tigers there? No, that was in India. 552 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,520 You looked at tigers and then you went diving... 553 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,520 They asked me to join the Save the Tiger campaign when I was there- on the environment negotiations. 554 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,040 Listen, the tigers are a real problem. 555 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,640 The thing is, John, we know this. We have David Attenborough to say, "Tiger numbers are dropping fast." 556 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,360 We read this in the newspapers all the time. 557 00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:40,120 We don't need to go to India. Presumably they showed you a tiger? 558 00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,840 If they'd have showed you an empty wood and went, "Look, no tigers..." 559 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,280 It's all right them cheering and shouting at your clever remark, 560 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:50,920 but basically... LAUGHTER 561 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:54,160 How many...? They like that. CHEERING DROWNS COMMENT 562 00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:58,800 Sit...down. 563 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,280 Because, can you understand, honestly, can you understand 564 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,080 why a man threw an egg at you? 565 00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:10,040 Do know why he did and what he was concerned about? 566 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,440 I was against fox-hunting and he thought I was one 567 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,920 of the guys that he hates because he wanted to keep fox hunting. 568 00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:28,440 But wait a minute when I got pied, because I understand 569 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,480 that I am very lucky to have this forum come here every week 570 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,280 on Top Gear and I say things and I understand that if 571 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:33,960 someone sitting at home and violently disagrees with what I say 572 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,600 it is really annoying and this girl shoved a banoffee pie in my face. 573 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,240 I just went "good shot" and you punched him. 574 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:47,120 But don't you understand that as a politician you had 13 years of doing what you want. 575 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,040 I am subjected to what they call a vote. If they agree or disagree. 576 00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:51,240 Nevertheless, you had all of these years when you were allowed to do what you want 577 00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:52,600 and you must have known there were people at home sitting thinking, 578 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,480 "I wish they'd stop doing it?" Did you not understand that? 579 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,160 Let me say, when I walked past this- guy and he hits me with the egg, 580 00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,840 right, I don't know it's an egg, I just feel this very warm thing running down my neck. 581 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:06,640 I just think somebody has perhaps knifed me or assaulted me, that all happens in a split second. 582 00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:10,400 And I see this fella built like a bloody barn door and I turned and I reacted. 583 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:14,840 When Tony asked me what happened, I- said I was carrying out his orders. 584 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,840 He told us to connect with the electorate, so I did. 585 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,200 LAUGHTER 586 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:09,040 I had one house a home, and one car. 587 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:14,120 I still only have one car. 588 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,240 Does anybody here have a company car? 589 00:42:17,240 --> 00:42:22,360 So how many cars have you got? 590 00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,720 No, none No, none is the answer. Anywhere, you 591 00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:34,960 you are a Jaguar man. I have had 11 Jags. 592 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:38,600 Jags. I made an attempt to go to a Rover 593 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:41,120 Rover wants. I admired their engineering. 594 00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:44,560 That was the problem in those days. 595 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,000 Right, your lap, 596 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,280 how was it? 597 00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,680 I was a bit worried, I thought I was skiing rather than driving. It was a wet day. 598 00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:53,040 The car, I must say, was really impressive as it got into the speeds 599 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,160 and into the corners, but I was a bit worried about the puddles, the water. 600 00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,680 When I got confident, I enjoyed it. 601 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:03,520 Who would like to see Lord John Prescott's lap? 602 00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:04,680 Yes! 603 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:06,320 Here we go, let's have a look. 604 00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:09,760 Bet you look good in a helmet. 605 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,040 Oh, you don't. I am away. 606 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,120 Are you in automatic or manual? 607 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:21,360 Automatic. It will be slower. 608 00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,520 Whoa, there she goes. 609 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,880 Right, through the tyres. There we go. That is soaking wet. 610 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,960 Yes, that was a bit fearful. It's not a bad little car, though. 611 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,440 This is really the one. 612 00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:46,520 This is where we had to put cones out for you because you couldn't see the white lines. 613 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:50,000 Yep, there are the cones to show you where to go. 614 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:56,120 I can see why you made it a 50 limit on the M4. 615 00:43:56,280 --> 00:44:00,160 You are allowed to go faster than that on our track. 616 00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:02,760 Right, did you lift off? 617 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:06,040 You did lift off. I had my foot on the break then. 618 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,760 It is hard to say how fast you are going, it looks like a canal boat. 619 00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:15,400 Here we are coming up to the second to last corner. 620 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,360 It is a nice line in that. 621 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,240 Very smooth, very well done. 622 00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:22,840 And Gambon got it right this time. Ooh, little bit of tail coming out. 623 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:26,320 Nicely held and there we are, across the line. 624 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,440 APPLAUSE 625 00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:39,360 Where do you think you've come on this magnificent board? Bottom. 626 00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:40,720 Bottom? 627 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:45,840 So, you're not even going to try and get on to Alastair Campbell, 1.47. 628 00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:47,280 It would be great to have beat him. 629 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,160 No, you haven't. 630 00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:54,080 Well, John Prescott, you did it in... What is the slowest time? 631 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:57,840 1.53.7, effectively. 632 00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:00,480 You did it in one... 633 00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:05,360 56.7. 634 00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:10,640 Which is by far and away the slowest lap time we have ever had. 635 00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:12,600 APPLAUSE 636 00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:18,120 It is amazing. Well, now... 637 00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,240 it has been very interesting... 638 00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:28,720 having you here today. I'm very glad you came. 639 00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,040 It is something I thought would never happen 640 00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:34,160 and I think you are very brave to come into in front of, what is, 641 00:45:34,240 --> 00:45:37,040 let's be honest, an audience that's on my side, rightly so. 642 00:45:37,240 --> 00:45:40,360 Ladies and gentlemen, John Prescott. 643 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,360 APPLAUSE 644 00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,600 Jezza versus Prezza, I like it. 645 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,480 I thought it would be an actual fight. 646 00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:56,720 Right, now, important moment because, for the first time, 647 00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:00,800 I think, in two years, we are going to do the Cool Wall! 648 00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,400 CHEERING 649 00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:03,600 Look, here it is. 650 00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:10,400 And straight away, we can see that currents have blown certain BMWs 651 00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:14,240 right up here into super cool, sub-zero. 652 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:20,320 Things like the Z4, the M3, the one series, the five series. Not all Beamers, though. 653 00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:25,160 This one, the five series GT is down among the Audis. Uncool. 654 00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:28,160 That is a horrible thing. It is like a fat old auntie, 655 00:46:28,240 --> 00:46:32,600 the one with terrible embarrassing flatulence that nobody dares mention. 656 00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:34,320 Called Marjorie. 657 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,040 Other changes. 658 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:40,800 Down here, a clutch of superminis, the actual Mini, Fiat 500, the Citroen DS3. 659 00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:45,680 These are all inexpensive ways of looking seriously cool. Good cars. 660 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,960 Now, what do you make of this? This is called the Nissan Juke. 661 00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:54,400 What is interesting, you buy a car because you want something which is practical or cheap. 662 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:58,280 Or you want something fast. How many people do you know say, 663 00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,920 "I want to buy a car that is absolutely stupid?" 664 00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:05,880 Because that's what this is. Do you not agree that is the stupidest thing in the world? 665 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:07,640 It is ugly. It is ugly. 666 00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:11,080 There is a chap back here, you know your hat... 667 00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:13,640 LAUGHTER 668 00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:16,760 You obviously like to go out in public 669 00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,600 looking ridiculous. 670 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,680 Do you like the Nissan Juke? 671 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:24,200 I don't mind it. What do you drive?- A Golf. 672 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:26,560 Not a diesel? It is a diesel, yes. 673 00:47:26,720 --> 00:47:29,560 You would look like that and you've got a Golf diesel? 674 00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:31,600 That is fantastic. 675 00:47:31,720 --> 00:47:35,640 A blend of many things going on there in that man's hat. 676 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:40,520 This is a hideously uncool car so it goes down there. What have you got there? 677 00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:44,960 This is the Renault Wind. A couple of problems here, first of all the name. 678 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,440 Basically it is a Renault fart. It is. 679 00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:54,000 I suspect that supercar-looking body is writing cheques that the rest of the car cannot cash. 680 00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:57,760 But, this is the Gordini version so it has stripes on it. 681 00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:01,040 And, as we all know, things with stripes on are cool, 682 00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:03,880 Shelby Mustangs, tigers, toothpastes... 683 00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,440 James May's jumpers. That is not cool. 684 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:11,400 Thank you very much. It has stripes- on it, it looks like James May's knitwear so that goes there. 685 00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:15,280 Ahem. What? Check it out. 686 00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:18,320 What is it? Toyota Yaris Verso. 687 00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:22,240 It is not good. This is for people whose lives are completely empty. 688 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:25,120 They are looking forward to the day they die 689 00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,720 because it will give them something to do. 690 00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:32,320 And they don't have sex any more cos these days, you know, we prefer sherry. 691 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:36,800 They are utterly, utterly boring and catastrophic in every single way and they have bought this 692 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:40,440 and it is the worst car I've ever seen in my life and it goes there. 693 00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:43,280 Crikey, getting that off your chest.- One thing, has sherry ever lead to sex? Do you get sherry sex? 694 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,080 One thing, has sherry ever lead to sex? Do you get sherry sex? 695 00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:53,880 I think you do. It is the one alcoholic drink that's never led to nooky. 696 00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:56,040 I will demonstrate sherry sex to any volunteers. 697 00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:57,440 Could you volunteer to have sherry sex with me? 698 00:48:57,720 --> 00:48:59,320 Oh, dear Lord. 699 00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:01,720 Just bear with me. You don't have to go very far. 700 00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:03,600 She is keen. Sherry sex. 701 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:05,240 Here we go. 702 00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:07,880 Good night. 703 00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,320 Sherry sex, like that. 704 00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:12,120 APPLAUSE 705 00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,920 Thank you. I need a cigarette now. 706 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,040 LAUGHTER 707 00:49:17,240 --> 00:49:19,320 And now we have got a problem with this. 708 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:23,120 This is the Porsche 911 Carrera C2S. 709 00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:24,920 We know the rules on the Cool Wall. 710 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,720 If one of us has a car, it is always uncool. 711 00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,840 Both Hammond and May own this car. 712 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,680 I don't think the board is long enough 713 00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,920 to be able to accommodate that. 714 00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,320 I'm just trying to work out the direction. 715 00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,440 That is east, that is west. Who lives west of here? 716 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:43,440 Where do you live? Wiltshire. 717 00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,680 Does anybody live further west than Wiltshire? 718 00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:51,960 Ireland. Ireland? Excellent! Could you do me a favour? 719 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,200 Could you take that home and pop it on your gatepost? 720 00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,840 Thank you very much, it will live there for ever more. 721 00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:01,440 Those are the rules, I can't argue with that. 722 00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:05,960 I would like to proffer this. OK? 723 00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,800 What is it? It is a Morgan. The new Morgan three-wheeler. 724 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,880 New? Yes, they are recreating the three-wheeler runabout 725 00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:14,920 that launched the company 100 years ago and it is magnificent. 726 00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:18,360 It is made with aluminium and it is a modern re-creation. No, it isn't. 727 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,080 It isn't modern anything. Yes it is. 728 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:23,840 It is modernised. No, you know everybody will have this, OK? 729 00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:26,440 You know the cupboard under your sink, OK, which is full 730 00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:29,520 of wedding presents you never used,- you're all familiar with that? 731 00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:31,560 That is the fish steamer you were given. 732 00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,000 It is. It isn't. It is. 733 00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,000 It isn't. It is. 734 00:50:38,240 --> 00:50:39,480 Well, it isn't. 735 00:50:39,720 --> 00:50:42,520 If you put that in cool, I will put you in a drain. 736 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,200 I have a chair and I am not afraid to use it. 737 00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:50,880 I have a hammer. 738 00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:54,600 Well, make your move, big fella, it is going in cool. 739 00:50:54,720 --> 00:50:56,120 Make your move, come on. 740 00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,360 You know what this is, don't you? 741 00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,000 Awkward. This is a Mexican stand-off. 742 00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:02,120 LAUGHTER 743 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:06,280 Right, it is now time for a small celebration, because 744 00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:11,800 this year marks the 40th birthday of the world's most expensive car. 745 00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,520 Operating. We're underway. 746 00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,560 It had no doors. 747 00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:27,200 No roof. No windscreen. 748 00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:30,240 It produced just one horse power 749 00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:34,920 and it had a couple of garden chairs for seats. 750 00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:41,000 And yet, the Lunar Rover, or moon buggy, cost £25 million 751 00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:47,520 and that was in 1971 when a V12 E-type Jag cost less than £3,500. 752 00:51:47,720 --> 00:51:51,400 In its short life, the moon buggy covered just 56 miles, 753 00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:56,240 which in Top Gear maths works out as about £500,000 per mile. 754 00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:58,680 Although they were all on the moon. 755 00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:00,320 You are go! 756 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:04,800 The moon buggy was used in three space missions. 757 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:08,680 Man, oh man, what a Grand Prix this is. 758 00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:12,720 I tell you, it sure does a good job with this kind of terrain. 759 00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,440 And the short, bouncy journeys it made 760 00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:19,000 were about the most useful a car has ever undertaken. 761 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:23,680 The moon buggy meant that the astronauts could explore 762 00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:26,520 more of the moon than they would have been able to on foot, 763 00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:30,040 and that meant they could take more pictures, collect more rocks, 764 00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:34,600 drill for more samples and generally get a better understanding 765 00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:37,480 of where the universe may have come from. 766 00:52:37,720 --> 00:52:41,160 However, in 1972 the moon missions were scrapped, 767 00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:45,400 which means that for the last 39 years, the only moon buggy 768 00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,680 you will have seen on earth has been in a museum. 769 00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:53,280 Until now. 770 00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:00,840 Because... Yes, it's back. 771 00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:16,080 This really is it. 772 00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,120 The Moon Buggy Mark II. 773 00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,360 A car for outer space. 774 00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:22,240 This is much more exciting 775 00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,680 than something like a Veyron SS or a Ferrari 458. 776 00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,360 Those are just earth cars. 777 00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:33,560 And because I am the one who goes by the name of Captain Buzz Slow, 778 00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:36,240 NASA have said I can drive it. 779 00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:49,440 There we are, we are flat out in the Lunar Rover Mark II, that is 10 miles an hour. 780 00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:53,200 The original Lunar Rover did eight miles an hour until the astronauts 781 00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:55,800 got hold of it and they managed to push it up to 11. 782 00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,120 So, who knows, this could get into the teens. 783 00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:02,600 I can't believe I am being allowed to do this. 784 00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:04,440 I am alone in it. 785 00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:06,880 Well, almost alone. 786 00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:09,640 Since Moon Buggy Mark II cost $4.5 million, 787 00:54:09,720 --> 00:54:13,160 there was a car behind me containing some NASA heavies 788 00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:16,840 who could remotely shut it down if I did anything stupid. 789 00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:20,680 Absolutely fantastic control interface here. 790 00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:23,920 I have got this screen with touch buttons, loads of parameters 791 00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:26,600 I can fiddle with, every single wheel is monitored. 792 00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:30,520 My heading, my direction, roll, pitch, all these things. 793 00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:35,120 If normal cars were as complicated as this, they would be a lot more fun. 794 00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:39,000 Watch this for a really brilliant little Lunar Rover party trick. 795 00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:42,200 If I just push the joystick to the side, very slightly, 796 00:54:42,240 --> 00:54:46,320 you will see that is not turning right, that is crabbing. 797 00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:47,440 How about that? 798 00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:49,440 SCREECHING 799 00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:52,160 What was that? 800 00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:56,920 Am I that close to it? 801 00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,400 Sorry. 802 00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,360 After an astronomical rollicking, 803 00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:07,440 I decided to concentrate on moon buggy pub trivia. 804 00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:12,960 This is the only vehicle of any type I have ever driven with two quoted weights, 805 00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:16,200 because here on earth it weighs approximately four tonnes 806 00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,600 but on the moon, of course, the gravity is only about a sixth 807 00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:23,360 of what we have here, so it only weighs something like 760 kilograms. 808 00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:25,480 They do have to think about that sort of thing. 809 00:55:25,720 --> 00:55:30,560 It will behave differently and your sensors will behave differently as well. 810 00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:34,000 The moon buggy has 12 wheels. 811 00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:39,120 Powered by six motors and they have a great party piece. 812 00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:41,120 Right, watch this. 813 00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,400 We are now crabbing 814 00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:50,440 exactly sideways. 815 00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,920 The Eagle has parked. 816 00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:54,320 BANG 817 00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:56,560 Sorry. 818 00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:59,000 Now, we have done a small amount of maths here. 819 00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,120 This is proper maths, not Top Gear maths. 820 00:56:01,240 --> 00:56:04,080 We worked out that if every car in Britain could park like that 821 00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:07,720 and didn't have to leave a gap at each end, 822 00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:09,600 we would save, wait for it... 823 00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:12,480 10,000 miles of parking space. 824 00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:17,120 But since there is not really a problem with parking on the moon, 825 00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,600 those wheels, combined with an adjustable ride height 826 00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,800 are designed primarily to be amazing off-road. 827 00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:28,040 Houston, we are go for rocks. 828 00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:33,160 Now, you'll see when you're looking outside, 829 00:56:33,240 --> 00:56:36,400 each wheel set is working out where- it's going and what it's doing, 830 00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,920 sort out the right height, deal with the traction, 831 00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:42,480 it is extremely intelligent, it has extremely powerful computers. 832 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:45,720 The tyres themselves are not quite so hi-tech. 833 00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:50,200 They were chosen for their toughness and are from a crop sprayer. 834 00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:54,440 Look at this! 835 00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,240 That's bags of torque. 836 00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:01,680 It is a four-ton vehicle climbing up a 30 degree slope. 837 00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:04,000 What a climb! 838 00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:07,440 What a ride! 839 00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:09,800 It is absolutely brilliant, this thing. 840 00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:11,480 ENGINE STALLS 841 00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:13,560 Sorry. 842 00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:20,040 It is not just the moon buggy's off-road abilities that have moved on either. 843 00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:23,840 The original Lunar Rover had a very limited range 844 00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:31,120 because if it broke down, the astronauts had to be able to make it back to the lunar module on foot. 845 00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:37,240 But this one is more of a cosmic camper van. 846 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:39,520 This is a space bed. 847 00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,400 There is another one that folds down here for your buddy. 848 00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,400 They are covered in memory foam, which was a NASA invention. 849 00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:49,280 There are privacy curtains here, there is an iPod dock, 850 00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:52,560 there is a home cinema, here is a space John. 851 00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:56,400 But sooner or later, you are going to get bored watching Apollo 13 852 00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:59,040 and you might want to go for a walk outside. 853 00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:04,040 If you do, you have to exit through- the rather unusual back door. 854 00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:09,200 Here we go. My feet are entering the suit. 855 00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:14,680 My gentleman's area is compressed by the crotch of the spacesuit. 856 00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:19,560 I have my hands in the space suit. 857 00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:22,200 Leak check complete. 858 00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:25,440 Closing the hatch in the Lunar Rover. 859 00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:35,000 That is quite a giant leap for a very unsteady man. 860 00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:38,640 I would now like to perform a short tribute 861 00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:41,400 to the late Alan Shepard Junior, 862 00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:45,360 one of only 12 men to have walked on the moon, 863 00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:48,120 and the only man to have done this. 864 00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:54,080 Houston, the Eagle is going for a birdie. 865 00:58:58,760 --> 00:58:59,760 There we go. 866 00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,240 Miles and miles and miles. 867 00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,120 I'd like to be deadly serious for a moment. 868 00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:15,440 This is the most fabulous vehicle I have ever driven. Ever. 869 00:59:15,640 --> 00:59:17,440 But there is a problem with it. 870 00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:20,840 Not a technical problem, it is the President. 871 00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:24,960 He has cancelled all the funding for the next moon mission. 872 00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:28,440 Because that is what makes the ship go up. 873 00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:32,080 No bucks, no Buck Rogers. 874 00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:38,160 That means, if you're a kid, you will never have the thrill 875 00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,480 of getting up in the middle of the night, like I did, 876 00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:45,280 to watch the funny little car hooning about on the moon. 877 00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,720 Yahoo! 878 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,360 That was all four wheels off the ground there. 879 00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:53,600 This is really some machine. 880 00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:59,760 This piece of film I am watching now shows men leaving the surface of the moon for the last time. 881 01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:06,800 That is the ascent stage of the Apollo 17 lunar module blasting off- from the lunar surface. 882 01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:12,040 That bit of film was captured with a remote camera mounted on the moon buggy. 883 01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:15,280 Which means, obviously, that the moon buggy was left behind. 884 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:21,760 It does make me sort of sad, really, to think of that amazing car 885 01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:26,920 being left up there, gathering moon dust for eternity. 886 01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:31,160 But if you ask me, it is not half as sad as a moon buggy 887 01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:34,200 that will never go up there at all. 888 01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:38,480 APPLAUSE 889 01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,680 I understand the financial considerations, 890 01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:45,600 but it is sad, isn't it? Yes, it makes me sad. 891 01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:47,040 I tell you what else is sad. 892 01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:51,680 That is not only the end of this show, it is the end of this series. 893 01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:53,920 Thank you very much for watching, though, 894 01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:56,560 we will see you again in June. Take care. Goodnight. 895 01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:09,120 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk 896 01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:13,200 Fixed and Resynced for BIA Repack by Cookie Monsta