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Top Gear S19E02
Western USA Road Trip

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Corrections by Wally73

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Tonight, I point at a thing...

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..Richard walks through a shop

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and James has some bananas.

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Hello! Hello, everybody.
Thank you.

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Thank you so much.

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Now, every so often we like to
remind ourselves that this is

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a motoring show.

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So, we get three really nice cars
and go for a long drive.

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And what we do is, we take it in
turns to choose the location.

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So, if it's my turn,
we usually end up in France,

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if it is James's turn
we usually end up in...

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1953.

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Tonight, though,
it was Hammond's turn.

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So guess what?

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Our meeting point was
the Valley of Fire in Nevada.

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And what you see here
is the car I'll be using.

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This is a Lexus LFA.

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It's not the most powerful car
in the world, it's not the fastest,

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it's not the best looking
and it certainly isn't the cheapest.

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Plus, the Lexus badge does come
with a whiff of masonry.

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But I drove one of these
in England last year

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and I emerged from the experience
thinking, "That might very well be

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"the best car I've ever driven."

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And that's why we're here.

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To find out.

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At this point,
the stillness of the desert

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was shattered by the sound
of an approaching James May,

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who was at the wheel of the new
Aston Martin Vanquish.

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That's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.

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It's not bad, is it?

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This is a DBS replacement,

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but also a bit inspired by
the 177, million pound thing.

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And look at the upholstery!

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I know, the upholstery
is outrageous.

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That's the best looking Aston
there's ever been, actually.

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Best one they've done.

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That, though, cos I've never seen
one in a good colour like that,

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that is pretty fantastic.
No, but yours is better.

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And the great thing is,
I'm in the better car

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and I'm just going to follow you
around going, "That is beautiful."

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'After a bit more
mutual mastication,

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'we started to wonder what
Billy Bob Hammond might bring.'

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Will it be something subtle,
small, European?

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No, my money was on something
rather large,

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brash and maybe even American.

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'And blow me down, I was right.'

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So... The new Viper.

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You? Yeah.

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I know it looks exactly like the old
one, but that is the new Viper.

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Yay. Subtle.

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Before you two start, let me just
tell you, that 8.4 litre V10,

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that's the largest engine
ever fitted to any production car

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since the war.
And looking around here,

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let's not forget,
this car is the fastest,

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with the highest top speed,
it's the fastest to 60,

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the most powerful, 640bhp,

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it's got the most torque
and the biggest engine.

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I'm sorry, Hammond.
They haven't styled it.

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This has been in a wind tunnel
to look like this!

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If that's been in a wind tunnel,

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they parked it in there sideways
for all the good it's done.

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It's been in a wind tunnel.
Look at the panel gap.

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I'll stand behind you,
have a look at it.

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Let me see if I can see how many
fingers you hold up in that panel gap.

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There has to be a gap
between the panels or

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there'd be one piece!
Let's have a look at yours.

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That looks ridiculous. It's a Lexus.
It's just a nerd-fest. It's a Lexus.

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It's for rich golfers, is what it is.
I admit, the Lexus...

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If you want to talk about panel gap,
there's a whopper straightaway.

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It's a cooling system!
Is it heck, it doesn't fit.

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I'm surprised at you cos this is
a bunch of retro nonsense, really.

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No, I'm sorry, I won't have that.

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It's very pretty, yes,
but it's harking...

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It's harking back to the past

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and a car with an engine
from the 1930s isn't?

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This is a nerd-fest, that's for
old fools, that is a proper,

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honest Gran T... 8.4 litre V10.
You don't need it to be that big!

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Hang on a second. Who owns Chrysler
now, the people that made this?

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Fiat. What else do they make?

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Ferrari. There you go.

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But, Hammond, All-Bran is made by
the same people who make Frosties.

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It doesn't mean they're comparable!
That's a stupid...

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It's not! Right, look.

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I knew I would get some flak...
Shush. Shush.

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Instead of just standing here
arguing... Yes.

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..why don't we go for a drive?

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That's a better idea. Open the taps.

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'Straight away, though,
there was a problem.'

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Not again. Hammond, why do
you like it in America so much?

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Every nice piece of road
has an 8mph speed limit on it.

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I don't know, don't ask me,
it's not my fault.

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Yes, it is.

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I mean, what are we going to hit?

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What are we going to hit here?
There's nothing.

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No wildlife, no people.

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This is stupid. It's stupid!

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'Eventually, though,
the 35mph hour limit ended,

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'and thanks to some trickery
in the edit,

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'we were able to take our cars up
to a dizzying 55mph.'

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There it goes.

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This isn't just an engine,
it's a force of nature!

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Let's see what a proper V12
feels like.

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Nice is the answer.

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The engine in this is so exquisite

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that it revs from idle to 9,000rpm
in 0.6 of a second.

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In fact, it revs so fast

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they couldn't fit a conventional
rev counter.

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It had to be electronic, because
a normal one simply can't keep up.

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Right, let's sort something out
right from the start.

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James's Aston Martin costs  £190,000.

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Jeremy's Celica,  £340,000.

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This -  £75,000 or thereabouts.

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That is a huge difference!

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It does all the fancy stuff, too,
it's got all the fancy materials,

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carbon fibre, aluminium, magnesium -
they're all in here.

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'But when it comes to technology,

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'neither of their cars is a match
for the howling LFA.'

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It took five years of sweat,
toil and cash to design this car

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and then just before they put
it on sale, someone said,

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"You know, I think it would be
better if the body was made from

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"carbon fibre rather
than aluminium."

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And they began all over again.

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How much would that cost?!

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All I do know is,
they sell them for  £340,000

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and they lose money on every single
one that leaves the dealership.

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'By the time Jeremy had stopped
droning on about his Celica,

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'we were on a motorway

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'and I got the distinct impression
I was playing gooseberry.'

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I'd like to say that, from the back,
particularly in that colour,

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and in fact this light,
the LFA looks absolutely epic.

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I mean, seriously.

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Ooh, that makes a lovely sound.

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It makes a very nice noise,
your Aston Martin.

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God, why don't you two
just get a room?

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"Your car looks nice!"
"Your car sounds lovely." Ooh!

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'But they didn't get a room.

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'Instead, they stopped
to look at a silly aeroplane.'

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James? Yeah, yeah. B-2? Yeah.

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That's amazing, isn't it?

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That is a B-2 stealth bomber
coming into land at...

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Actually, he's turning
to come over us. Yeah.

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We're not supposed
to be able to see it, are we?

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I don't think it works!

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'As the sun began to set,
we were back on the road,

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'heading for the Las Vegas
Motor Speedway.

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'Here, you can drive a NASCAR
round the oval,

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'or you can learn the racetrack
on a Ferrari simulator

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'before doing it for real
in an actual Ferrari car.

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'But Jeremy decided
we should go to the drag strip.'

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God, that's loud!

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Argh!

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'We couldn't understand why,
because it just seemed to be

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'a lot of very noisy modified cars,
which we all hate.'

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Look, there's another one come in
dressed as a policeman.

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No, they really are police. What,
genuinely? They really... I promise.

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There they are, police sheriff
and the fire department.

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They invite kids down
to race against them

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to stop the kids racing
on the streets.

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So they race the actual police?
That was a police Mustang.

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They've modded, the police have
modded it and then say to kids...

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"What you got?" "Can you beat us?"
They actually call it Beat The Meat.

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No, it's probably Beat The Heat,
cos heat means... Yeah, I meant that.

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'To prove that modified
cars are idiotic,

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'Jeremy decided to take on
the local sheriff.'

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Yes, look, I'm up against
some crummy pickup truck.

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This is going to just be...

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..well, deeply embarrassing for him.

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That's there?!

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'After this humiliation,

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'I took on the state trooper
in another pickup truck.'

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OK, now, come on, Richard,
concentrate.

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Where's he gone?

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'Having watched the fire department's
motorcycle demolish a Honda NSX...'

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'..James wisely decided to take on
a youth

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'in a clapped-out Mitsubishi Evo.'

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Yes, for England!

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I'm going to do it in D and Sport,
I'm going to use Launch Control.

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Try not to look smug, James. Try not
to look smug. Practise your face.

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Hang on a second.

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All-wheel drive beats
rear-wheel drive.

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God, he just sodded off.

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Woo! >

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Now, come on.

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'Having spent the entire evening
losing to absolutely everything...'

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Pick on a weak one!

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No!

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'..we decided we didn't like
drag racing

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'and went into Las Vegas
to do strip billiards instead.'

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Humiliating.

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I can't believe, I still can't
believe that I was beaten

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by some bloke who had spent 1,500
quid modifying an ancient Mitsubishi.

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No, but the reason we hate modified
cars is cos we know,

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if he tried to do it again,
his engine would go "BANG!

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"Clatter, clatter, clatter," and
that would be end of that. True.

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I'll tell you what I think's funny,

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imagine the British police
trying to do Beat the Meat.

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Heat! Heat!

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"Right, I've tuned up
the Astra Diesel.

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"I might get 120 out of it
down the straight now,

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"who wants to take me on?"
What a spectacle.

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But anyway, the most important thing
is to reveal now which of the cars,

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our cars, was the fastest
and it was mine.

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Er, yours was the most expensive.

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It was the fastest.

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Listen, on paper
the Viper is the fastest.

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Yes, on paper,
but, Hammond, on tarmac...

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..mine was the... It was,
it just was. User area...

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Anyway, we'll pick that up later on
but now we're going to do the news.

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Yes, we are. I've had
another theory. Good.

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God. No, you love my theories.

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OK, this one, you know Jessops
and HMV and Woolworths and Comet,

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they all closed down recently?
Yeah, Jeremy, this is a car show.

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Yes, yes, bear with me, OK?

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And everyone is asking,

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"Why are people shopping in retail
and out-of-town centres

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"and town centres are just
becoming boarded-up shops

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"and women in short skirts vomiting
and catching herpes?" Right?

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There's a very good reason for this.

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It's cos when you go to an
out-of-town retail centre place,

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you can park your car.

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When you go into a town centre,
you can't.

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Right, so what are you suggesting?

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It's easy to fix Britain's
town centres.

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Rip up every double yellow line and
sack every single traffic warden.

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The problem is solved.
Why wouldn't you do that?

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Everybody's running around going,

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"Town centres are dying,
what should we do? It's easy!"

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But if you allow people to park
anywhere in the town centre,

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it'll become impossible to get in
or out. Rubbish! It's true.

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So you think parking restrictions
are just out of spite?

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Well, what else are they for?

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They go, "Hey, we did really well,
we got a  £12 revenue today

235
00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:34,980
"from our parking restrictions."
Meanwhile, every shop is shut.

236
00:14:34,980 --> 00:14:38,460
We need to have a more French
attitude to parking.

237
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,020
Cos the rule in France is,

238
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:43,140
if there is a space that a car will
go in, you put your car in it.

239
00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:45,860
Even if it's on a mini roundabout,
that is the rule.

240
00:14:45,860 --> 00:14:48,140
James, why aren't we
running the country?

241
00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:52,700
Why are we presenting this programme
with Noel Coward, more to the point?

242
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,980
You were Mr Toad last week,
you really are moving around.

243
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:59,020
Right, we've sorted parking. Good.
You haven't!

244
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:01,740
Now, the next problem we face
and this is a big one...

245
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:04,220
You know when James
is telling you something

246
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:06,660
and you start to feel drowsy?
God.

247
00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:09,260
Yes, it's like you've had
a whole bottle of red,

248
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:11,860
five portions of shepherd's pie
in front of a fire.

249
00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:14,380
Yeah, and it's embarrassing.
It is embarrassing.

250
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:17,220
He's in the middle of a story
and you nod off. It's awkward.

251
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:21,300
It is awkward. However, it's all
going to be solved with this.  £8.99.

252
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,780
You clip it on your ear, OK?

253
00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:26,740
Right. Sitting still.

254
00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:29,780
James. Explain torque. Torque?

255
00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:33,380
Torque is fantastically simple, Jeremy,
it's just a force at a distance,

256
00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:36,740
that's why it's in pound-feet,
for example, or newton metres.

257
00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:41,940
It's waking me up as well,
what's the point of that?

258
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,780
I can hear him now. It is, I'd
rather be asleep with his lectures.

259
00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:48,380
No, they also say it can be used
for drivers.

260
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:50,540
So when you're driving you can
have it on your ear

261
00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:52,340
and if you nod off,
it'll wake you up.

262
00:15:52,340 --> 00:15:53,820
But, and you'll love this bit,

263
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:57,500
it says in the blurb it could be
used by airline pilots. What?!

264
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:00,700
Really? That's some comfort,
isn't it? It's reassuring, I think.

265
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:03,340
Mid Atlantic, thinking, "It's OK
because the fate of me

266
00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:05,900
"and all these other souls
on board this jumbo jet

267
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,460
"lie in the hands of a  £7.99..."
8.99!

268
00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:11,180
".. £8.99 Chinese-made ear beep."

269
00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:13,700
I don't actually know how much
a Boeing 747 costs,

270
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:16,620
but I'm pretty sure the price
isn't something 99.

271
00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:19,660
But there's no component
of it that's something 99.

272
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:23,060
Can you imagine if they said, "An
announcement now from the flight deck..."

273
00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:25,940
Argh! Wake up!

274
00:16:25,940 --> 00:16:28,380
Wake up! It is a stupid idea.

275
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:30,180
It is a stupid idea.

276
00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:34,980
Now, while I was driving down here
I saw one of the new Jaguar F-types.

277
00:16:34,980 --> 00:16:37,460
Have you heard about this?
The new Jag small sports car.

278
00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:40,580
Got a picture here. It is a
beautiful looking thing. Yes.

279
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:43,020
And actually, it's even better
looking from the back.

280
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:45,540
I mean, that is a sensational
looking thing.

281
00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:47,660
But I'll tell you what surprised me
about it,

282
00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:50,500
is I thought it was
going to cost 40,000,

283
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,420
the same as a Porsche Boxster
or a Mercedes SLK.

284
00:16:53,420 --> 00:16:57,820
It's going to cost between 60 and
80,000, and even on the top models

285
00:16:57,820 --> 00:17:00,860
you pay extra for heated seats
and keyless entry and so on.

286
00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:02,780
I'll tell you what
worries me about that.

287
00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:07,260
I bet they have set that up more
for handling and less for comfort.

288
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:09,060
Mm. Which will be a mistake.

289
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:11,780
God, it's for younger people.
That's the...

290
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,660
It isn't! It is. It isn't!

291
00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:17,740
Younger people spend 150 quid
on their cars, not 80 grand.

292
00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:21,340
The only person who can spend 80
grand on a car is in their 50s.

293
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:25,220
That car, Hammond, it is... Yeah,
well, us, but it is made for people,

294
00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:28,860
exclusively for people, who make
a noise when they sit down.

295
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:31,460
You go to a Jag dealership to buy
that and they'll say,

296
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:33,780
"Mr May, take a seat."
And you go, "Thank you.

297
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:35,500
"Ahhhh. Yes!"

298
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:41,020
Sold! God... That car is
for people who watch TV OR text.

299
00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:42,540
Not both at the same time.

300
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:46,820
You do realise you two are
now officially the oldest

301
00:17:46,820 --> 00:17:48,100
people in the world!

302
00:17:49,580 --> 00:17:51,980
Hammond, we can't all be 36
forever, mate.

303
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:56,220
I like it, I'm sticking with it.
Now, news from Citroen.

304
00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:59,460
They've developed a car
that runs on compressed air.

305
00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:00,980
No, I've been reading about this

306
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:03,660
and I have literally
no idea how it works.

307
00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:06,900
I saw you reading about this
earlier on today and you know

308
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:08,540
when somebody's eyes glaze?

309
00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:11,260
His looked like they'd been
painted on.

310
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:16,700
It's undecipherable. And you could
see the words ricocheting off. Ping!

311
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:19,780
They wouldn't go in, I can't work
it out. I can't work it out.

312
00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,860
It's simple. It's a bit like...

313
00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:23,780
Explain it to me then, James.

314
00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:27,700
It's like a hybrid, like a Toyota,

315
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:31,020
but instead of generating electricity
under-braking when going downhill,

316
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:32,580
it compresses air, which then...

317
00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:35,140
It wakes me as well!

318
00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:38,220
How does...
No, this is what I don't understand.

319
00:18:38,220 --> 00:18:41,180
Why don't they just put,
you know those scuba divers tanks

320
00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:44,220
on the back and then they shoot air
out and it'll make it go along?

321
00:18:44,220 --> 00:18:46,140
Because that wouldn't work.
It would!

322
00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:47,900
What about fire extinguishers?

323
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:50,220
You put two fire extinguishers
on the boot lid,

324
00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:52,740
when you set them off it would
make the car move forward.

325
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:55,180
Technically it would,
but it's extremely wasteful.

326
00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:58,900
To go round our track, you'd need a fire
extinguisher the size of Hazelmere.

327
00:18:58,900 --> 00:18:59,940
No, no, no.

328
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:03,580
No, because fire extinguishers
are full of carbon dioxide. Yes.

329
00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:06,100
Well, engines produce carbon dioxide

330
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,340
so you'd endlessly refill
the fire extinguisher.

331
00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:11,740
You can't use carbon dioxide
from cars to power cars.

332
00:19:11,740 --> 00:19:15,020
Isaac Newton said it would work.
I'm going to prove it.

333
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,340
I'm going to prove it.

334
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:20,980
What goes on...? Give me this...
Right. What goes on in his head?

335
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:25,620
Move back. Move back, move back.

336
00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:26,860
Back!

337
00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:32,860
Because seriously, I'm going
to rocket across the studio floor.

338
00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:35,540
Are we ready, everybody?

339
00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:37,140
Here we go.

340
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,620
Why's it doing this?

341
00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:47,900
Why is it doing that?

342
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:58,780
Newton said the opposite
of any reaction... No.

343
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:02,260
Every action has an equal and
opposite reaction, yes. Rubbish!

344
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:05,740
Every action makes you spin
round in a lazy circle.

345
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:09,380
Clever or not, you can't expect him
to have foreseen a gigantic,

346
00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:12,780
idiotic ape in an office chair
with a fire extinguisher, can you?

347
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:14,460
Shall we move on? Yes!

348
00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:19,780
Because tonight we are involved in an epic drive
across the western United States in a Lexus LFA,

349
00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:23,020
an Aston Martin Vanquish
and the mighty Viper.

350
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:25,860
Yes, and when we left the action
earlier we were with

351
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:30,020
the Las Vegas Police Department,
taking part in some drag racing.

352
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:33,940
The idea being that if you race on
the track, you won't feel inclined

353
00:20:33,940 --> 00:20:37,300
to race between the traffic lights
out on the streets.

354
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,540
So, had it worked?

355
00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:07,140
Ahhhh!

356
00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:13,900
You know we're supposed to have got
this out of our system, don't you?

357
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:16,100
We've been on the
awareness course.

358
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:22,340
'A long journey lay ahead.
So, we decided to annoy Jeremy.'

359
00:21:22,340 --> 00:21:26,020
Just to let you know, my iPod's
working really well in the car,

360
00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:27,700
how about yours?

361
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:30,420
No, I don't have an
iPod connector in here.

362
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,900
I suppose, yeah,

363
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:37,140
it'd be a bit much to ask for that
on a  £340,000 car, wouldn't it

364
00:21:37,140 --> 00:21:40,340
I would imagine it would be there,
my simple hick car has got...

365
00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:42,100
You can Bluetooth your iPhone to it.

366
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:45,060
Jeremy, is there anything else you
haven't got that any reasonable,

367
00:21:45,060 --> 00:21:46,980
modern car should have?

368
00:21:46,980 --> 00:21:48,540
Er, not really.

369
00:21:49,980 --> 00:21:51,860
Don't say cup-holders.

370
00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:53,900
Have you got a cup-holder?

371
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:56,700
No, I haven't got a cup-holder.

372
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:59,220
What a tragic oversight.

373
00:21:59,220 --> 00:22:01,260
I think Lexus were concentrating

374
00:22:01,260 --> 00:22:06,340
so hard on building the perfect car,
they forgot that occasionally

375
00:22:06,340 --> 00:22:09,340
you might need to go somewhere
in it and need a cup-holder

376
00:22:09,340 --> 00:22:12,260
and an iPod connector and a seat
belt that does up more easily

377
00:22:12,260 --> 00:22:16,740
than this one, which doesn't do up
easily at all if you're a bit...

378
00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:17,780
fat.

379
00:22:17,780 --> 00:22:19,260
I've got a meter that tells me

380
00:22:19,260 --> 00:22:22,100
how much torque my engine is
producing at any given moment.

381
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:23,500
Have you got one of those?

382
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:27,220
I absolutely haven't got one of those
and I'm very, very pleased about it.

383
00:22:27,220 --> 00:22:28,260
God, Hammond,

384
00:22:28,260 --> 00:22:31,300
the back of your car lights up
with a stupid viper when you break.

385
00:22:33,980 --> 00:22:37,100
That's the stupidest thing
I've ever seen!

386
00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:39,660
That isn't just a viper,
that is a Stryker,

387
00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:41,460
it's the emblem of this car.

388
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:44,020
I'm going to crash into
you trying to get a closer look

389
00:22:44,020 --> 00:22:45,540
at your novelty item.

390
00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:52,940
'As we cruised at a steady 55
towards California,

391
00:22:52,940 --> 00:22:56,460
'Jeremy discovered yet another
problem with the Lexus.'

392
00:22:57,660 --> 00:23:01,100
Would you mind awfully if we stopped
for petrol? I need some.

393
00:23:02,260 --> 00:23:04,140
I've got more than half a tank.

394
00:23:04,140 --> 00:23:05,500
So have I.

395
00:23:06,780 --> 00:23:08,460
It is quite a small tank.

396
00:23:10,420 --> 00:23:14,580
'In a town famous for having the
tallest thermometer in the world,

397
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:17,740
'I spent three pounds filling
the Zippo in the Lexus

398
00:23:17,740 --> 00:23:21,100
'and then bought Hammond some fuel
for his car.'

399
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:23,540
May?

400
00:23:23,540 --> 00:23:27,100
Yeah? This is the right fuel
for a Viper, isn't it?

401
00:23:27,100 --> 00:23:28,940
Looks like it. Funny

402
00:23:28,940 --> 00:23:31,380
- Well, we can't get it in the tank.
- Funny

403
00:23:31,380 --> 00:23:33,100
You know what you've done?

404
00:23:33,100 --> 00:23:36,020
You haven't got unleaded wood,
that's why it won't go in the slot.

405
00:23:36,020 --> 00:23:39,220
Is it charcoal we need? Yeah.
I'm sorry, mate.

406
00:23:39,220 --> 00:23:42,540
Never mind. Thank you. I'll go
and change it for some charcoal.

407
00:23:42,540 --> 00:23:47,180
'While I did that, Hammond kindly
solved the LFA's cup-holder problem.'

408
00:24:00,340 --> 00:24:01,980
They haven't put sugar in it!

409
00:24:04,380 --> 00:24:07,020
'After the pit stop,
the producers told us

410
00:24:07,020 --> 00:24:11,100
'to report to a racetrack
called Willow Springs.'

411
00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:15,420
Er, right. I'm going to try a sat
nav test. Here we go. Use my mouse.

412
00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:19,780
You actually get a mouse in one
of these. Destination, click.

413
00:24:21,380 --> 00:24:23,380
Apparently it's calling someone.

414
00:24:24,460 --> 00:24:26,060
'Lexus Inform.' It is.

415
00:24:26,060 --> 00:24:28,620
'This is Anita. Where would
you like to go today?'

416
00:24:28,620 --> 00:24:32,060
Er, Willow Springs Raceway.

417
00:24:32,060 --> 00:24:34,780
'Just a moment and
I can help you with that.'

418
00:24:36,220 --> 00:24:38,820
No... 'Let me just get that
plugged in for you.'

419
00:24:38,820 --> 00:24:42,180
And then can you make that come
onto my screen in the car?

420
00:24:42,180 --> 00:24:46,100
'Absolutely, I'm going to download
it to your navigation for you

421
00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:48,500
'instead of you putting it in
yourself.

422
00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:50,860
'Is there anything else
I can help with?'

423
00:24:50,860 --> 00:24:55,740
Er, no, I'm so staggered.
That's amazing, thank you very much.

424
00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:58,380
'You're welcome.

425
00:24:58,380 --> 00:25:00,780
'Definitely call us 24/7
as many times as you need

426
00:25:00,780 --> 00:25:03,220
'and we will help you out, OK?'

427
00:25:06,700 --> 00:25:09,340
'In fact, I called her back
immediately.

428
00:25:09,340 --> 00:25:13,180
'And she suggested we stop off
at a nearby tourist attraction.'

429
00:25:15,620 --> 00:25:17,900
What they've done here is,
you will note,

430
00:25:17,900 --> 00:25:21,740
is fitted grooves at intervals
along the road. Right.

431
00:25:21,740 --> 00:25:26,340
So, as you drive over them,
your tyres make a noise.

432
00:25:26,340 --> 00:25:27,940
They play a note.

433
00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:32,300
Really? This road is musical.

434
00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:34,620
Is it? It's musical.

435
00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:37,380
Really? It plays a tune
as you drive...

436
00:25:37,380 --> 00:25:42,380
'As James has a music degree,
we sent him out to test it.'

437
00:25:42,380 --> 00:25:43,700
Here we go.

438
00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:55,220
Is that a tune?

439
00:25:57,860 --> 00:26:01,300
I think that was supposed to be
the William Tell Overture.

440
00:26:02,620 --> 00:26:05,340
Jeremy then had another idea.

441
00:26:05,340 --> 00:26:08,380
Richard Hammond and I
will now perform a duet.

442
00:26:14,300 --> 00:26:19,420
If I reverse, will it play
a message from the devil?

443
00:26:19,420 --> 00:26:21,500
This often happens in rock and roll.

444
00:26:24,260 --> 00:26:25,620
What a numpty.

445
00:26:25,620 --> 00:26:29,460
To make the tune go backwards, you
can still drive the car forwards.

446
00:26:29,460 --> 00:26:32,180
Yeah... Never mind.

447
00:26:32,180 --> 00:26:33,460
Yes.

448
00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:35,740
It's telling me
Paul McCartney's dead

449
00:26:35,740 --> 00:26:39,020
because he wasn't wearing
any shoes or socks.

450
00:26:51,340 --> 00:26:54,700
'Having decided the musical road
might be a bit annoying

451
00:26:54,700 --> 00:27:00,020
'if you live near it, we continued
onwards and eventually arrived

452
00:27:00,020 --> 00:27:01,780
'at Willow Springs.

453
00:27:06,060 --> 00:27:09,300
'We were keen to take on this
amazing race complex

454
00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:11,740
'in the high desert of California.

455
00:27:11,740 --> 00:27:14,420
'But the producers had other ideas.'

456
00:27:16,780 --> 00:27:18,140
Thank you.

457
00:27:20,220 --> 00:27:23,420
"You will be familiar with a game
called laser quest."

458
00:27:23,420 --> 00:27:26,180
That's that one... It's like
paintballing but with lasers.

459
00:27:26,180 --> 00:27:28,740
You have a jacket that's got
laser receptors on it

460
00:27:28,740 --> 00:27:31,820
and it registers when you've been
hit. Yes, I know that. What?

461
00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:35,260
"You will now play
aerial laser quest."

462
00:27:35,260 --> 00:27:36,900
How does that...? Well, hang on.

463
00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:39,620
"Your cars have been fitted
with laser receptors.

464
00:27:39,620 --> 00:27:41,820
"You will drive five laps
of the track

465
00:27:41,820 --> 00:27:46,540
"while two fighter planes, fitted
with laser guns, shoot at you.

466
00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:49,500
"The winner will be the one
who is least shot."

467
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:52,820
Fighter planes with laser guns?
What planes? Are they model planes?

468
00:27:52,820 --> 00:27:54,580
Are they remote control?

469
00:27:57,740 --> 00:27:59,140
'They weren't.

470
00:28:01,740 --> 00:28:04,660
'In fact, they were
Italian Marchettis.

471
00:28:04,660 --> 00:28:10,980
'Fast, agile, armed and flown
today by two hotshot dog fighters.'

472
00:28:12,380 --> 00:28:15,180
Orbiting to the north...

473
00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:22,380
'With our laser sensors activated,
we set off at 30-second intervals.'

474
00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:29,900
Tally ho, tally ho, chaps.

475
00:28:31,740 --> 00:28:35,020
Stand clear, I'm going to go
for the Aston on the straight.

476
00:28:35,020 --> 00:28:37,860
They're after him already.
Kill him! Kill him!

477
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:42,500
I missed.

478
00:28:47,820 --> 00:28:50,100
Let's just try sheer speed for a bit.

479
00:28:52,980 --> 00:28:55,820
Bit of braking might fox him there.

480
00:28:55,820 --> 00:28:58,180
No!

481
00:28:58,180 --> 00:28:59,620
Captain Slow.

482
00:28:59,620 --> 00:29:02,900
You're going to need to do better
than that, my friend.

483
00:29:02,900 --> 00:29:05,020
Big speed coming up, 140!

484
00:29:05,020 --> 00:29:08,380
That's nothing to those planes,
they could just reel me.

485
00:29:12,540 --> 00:29:15,820
OK. We're going to go
for the Lexus.

486
00:29:15,820 --> 00:29:19,620
Trying to shoot this car
from a plane like that, I'm sorry,

487
00:29:19,620 --> 00:29:23,420
it's like trying to swat a fly
with a drinking straw.

488
00:29:23,420 --> 00:29:24,660
Not going to happen.

489
00:29:32,220 --> 00:29:33,820
No!

490
00:29:33,820 --> 00:29:35,500
Bingo! Lex is dead.

491
00:29:39,420 --> 00:29:42,380
I'm hit again!

492
00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:46,420
They're just shooting at me
because my car's Japanese!

493
00:29:47,780 --> 00:29:50,660
It's racism. Sorry, Jeremy.

494
00:29:51,940 --> 00:29:54,100
'There was only one thing for it.'

495
00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:57,540
'Lexus Inform, this is Cheryl,
where would you like to go today?'

496
00:29:57,540 --> 00:30:00,780
I'm being attacked by
fighter planes!

497
00:30:00,780 --> 00:30:03,940
'I'm sorry, can you repeat that?'
Yes, I'm being attacked.

498
00:30:03,940 --> 00:30:06,980
There are fighter planes and
I'm trying to get away from them.

499
00:30:06,980 --> 00:30:08,500
Do you have any suggestions?

500
00:30:10,380 --> 00:30:15,100
'She didn't. And as a result,
the game became a turkey shoot.'

501
00:30:19,580 --> 00:30:20,660
What?!

502
00:30:20,660 --> 00:30:22,100
No!

503
00:30:22,100 --> 00:30:23,620
Argh!

504
00:30:23,620 --> 00:30:25,660
Lexus dead.
Hamster is dead.

505
00:30:25,660 --> 00:30:27,260
Bingo, Viper's dead.

506
00:30:30,100 --> 00:30:31,740
There's Viper.

507
00:30:31,740 --> 00:30:35,460
No, no, no, another hit for me!

508
00:30:35,460 --> 00:30:36,900
My God, they got Ginger.

509
00:30:39,020 --> 00:30:40,620
Smoke!

510
00:30:40,620 --> 00:30:42,140
Smoke!

511
00:30:47,460 --> 00:30:51,020
They're going in for the kill,
I can see him zooming down.

512
00:31:09,540 --> 00:31:13,180
'To be honest, we weren't enjoying
the relentless slaughter.'

513
00:31:14,740 --> 00:31:16,420
Under attack, under attack.

514
00:31:16,420 --> 00:31:18,900
'But we were at least loving
our cars.'

515
00:31:21,060 --> 00:31:24,620
The guts of this car are what make it
unbelievable on track.

516
00:31:25,940 --> 00:31:28,020
Just hauls ass.

517
00:31:30,020 --> 00:31:31,740
Jinking, jinking.

518
00:31:31,740 --> 00:31:32,980
And brake!

519
00:31:36,820 --> 00:31:38,980
That just feels tremendous.

520
00:31:43,460 --> 00:31:50,140
The word immediate was invented for
the throttle response on this car.

521
00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:55,700
And the steering. And the gearbox.
And every single thing about it.

522
00:31:57,260 --> 00:31:59,540
Ha-ha! Look at that.

523
00:31:59,540 --> 00:32:03,700
'But though our cars were good,
the planes were better.'

524
00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:07,100
My God, how did he get me there?

525
00:32:07,100 --> 00:32:12,140
'So, 26 laps into the 5-lap event,
we decided to get cunning.'

526
00:32:17,220 --> 00:32:21,980
You see? Ha-ha, where am I now then,
plane? You can't see me.

527
00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:26,300
Invisi... He's got me. Bugger!

528
00:32:28,420 --> 00:32:32,420
What I've done is, I've hidden
near the hills, behind a bucket.

529
00:32:34,740 --> 00:32:38,740
See, this is the ingenuity
that marks me aside.

530
00:32:43,020 --> 00:32:44,260
What?!

531
00:32:45,740 --> 00:32:51,060
Cunning wasn't working,
so we did what we do best - panic.

532
00:32:54,020 --> 00:32:57,740
Hammond, you're going the wrong way.
You're going the wrong way!

533
00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:02,380
Who's going the wrong way?

534
00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:03,980
I'm going the wrong way!

535
00:33:03,980 --> 00:33:06,420
No!

536
00:33:08,340 --> 00:33:10,020
What?!

537
00:33:11,900 --> 00:33:13,140
A bonus.

538
00:33:13,140 --> 00:33:15,220
No!

539
00:33:15,220 --> 00:33:19,220
'Fading light eventually brought
the massacre to an end.'

540
00:33:20,580 --> 00:33:24,060
There's a lot of bullet holes
on those cars down there.

541
00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:34,300
I liked that day.
That was a lot of fun.

542
00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:35,500
I really did.

543
00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:39,980
Can I just say, have you ever,
in your entire lives,

544
00:33:39,980 --> 00:33:43,780
seen aircraft flying lower or faster
than that? No. To be honest, no.

545
00:33:43,780 --> 00:33:46,500
I haven't. It's amazing. They
were just six feet off the deck.

546
00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:48,860
Can I just bring us towards
the meat of the thing here?

547
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:52,820
Which is, I can now reveal,
I was hit 23 times.

548
00:33:52,820 --> 00:33:55,820
A-ha! 17 times.

549
00:33:59,900 --> 00:34:02,980
Come on then. What?
How many times where you hit?

550
00:34:02,980 --> 00:34:06,060
I can't remember.
Yes, you can. Come on.

551
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:10,020
How many? 48.

552
00:34:10,020 --> 00:34:13,580
48?! So you lost...

553
00:34:13,580 --> 00:34:17,220
It was racism. Really? Racism?

554
00:34:17,220 --> 00:34:20,220
Either way, you lost. The pilots
told me as well that, James,

555
00:34:20,220 --> 00:34:22,980
you only won because every time
they went into a strafing dive

556
00:34:22,980 --> 00:34:25,860
to hit us, they had to anticipate
where the car would be.

557
00:34:25,860 --> 00:34:28,780
And every time your car was
considerably further back

558
00:34:28,780 --> 00:34:30,340
than they'd expected it to be.

559
00:34:30,340 --> 00:34:34,900
True. They said they couldn't hit you because
you were driving too slowly. Really? They did.

560
00:34:34,900 --> 00:34:37,460
Well, as I've said many times
before, gentlemen,

561
00:34:37,460 --> 00:34:41,700
he who is last shall be first,
and so it turns out.

562
00:34:41,700 --> 00:34:44,420
So the Baby Jesus had a point?

563
00:34:44,420 --> 00:34:48,780
Anyway, it is now time to put
a star in our reasonably priced car.

564
00:34:48,780 --> 00:34:52,020
My guest tonight is a member
of a popular ensemble where all

565
00:34:52,020 --> 00:34:54,460
the members find each other
very irritating.

566
00:34:54,460 --> 00:34:56,380
Imagine that Quite.

567
00:34:56,380 --> 00:35:00,380
Ladies and gentlemen, from Fleetwood
Mac, it is the man himself,

568
00:35:00,380 --> 00:35:01,620
Mick Fleetwood.

569
00:35:04,460 --> 00:35:06,340
Holy moly!

570
00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:12,860
You're here! How are you?
Mick Fleetwood has come to Top Gear.

571
00:35:16,780 --> 00:35:19,380
We sit? Yes, have a seat, please.

572
00:35:21,260 --> 00:35:24,900
Lord have mercy.
I've gone nervous. My God.

573
00:35:24,900 --> 00:35:27,580
Only Roger Daltrey sat
on that side of the sofa.

574
00:35:27,580 --> 00:35:31,340
It's obviously a rock thing.
No, that's lovely too. You choose.

575
00:35:31,340 --> 00:35:33,020
Or I can be just big.

576
00:35:33,020 --> 00:35:36,460
It's nice to have someone who is
the right height. There you go.

577
00:35:36,460 --> 00:35:39,300
We'll get on to your amazing
car history in a minute

578
00:35:39,300 --> 00:35:41,380
but if I may, I want
to talk about Rumours

579
00:35:41,380 --> 00:35:45,020
cos this is one of my absolute
all-time favourite albums.

580
00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:48,940
How many have been sold over
the years? Billions. No...

581
00:35:50,340 --> 00:35:54,060
A lot. Getting on for 50 million
copies or so, yeah.

582
00:35:54,060 --> 00:35:56,460
50 million copies?! I think, for me,

583
00:35:56,460 --> 00:36:00,820
the most amazing thing about Rumours
is that it got made at all.

584
00:36:00,820 --> 00:36:03,460
Because I think I'm right
in saying, I mean,

585
00:36:03,460 --> 00:36:06,100
people think of The Who
and Keith Moon in particular

586
00:36:06,100 --> 00:36:09,820
and Led Zeppelin and what have you,
there was some excess there.

587
00:36:09,820 --> 00:36:12,780
But when it came to excess,
Fleetwood Mac were really,

588
00:36:12,780 --> 00:36:15,860
as far as I can work out,
in a class of their own.

589
00:36:15,860 --> 00:36:19,620
Don't get me wrong,
we were definitely in the top ten,

590
00:36:19,620 --> 00:36:22,460
I would say, if not more.

591
00:36:22,460 --> 00:36:24,420
But I think the romance of that

592
00:36:24,420 --> 00:36:26,940
and the drama of that
became out of control,

593
00:36:26,940 --> 00:36:29,180
mainly because we were stupid enough,

594
00:36:29,180 --> 00:36:33,900
and somewhat irresponsible, to be
too open about our dirty laundry.

595
00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:35,660
You were talking in public.

596
00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:40,300
But it wasn't just the drugs either.
It was, as far as I can work out,

597
00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:45,020
the band was just made up of people
who were fighting at that time. Yes.

598
00:36:45,020 --> 00:36:46,740
We've got a photograph here
of the band.

599
00:36:46,740 --> 00:36:49,780
So there's you, in the middle, OK,
the drummer.

600
00:36:49,780 --> 00:36:53,020
And then we've got an American
couple who really didn't get on,

601
00:36:53,020 --> 00:36:55,100
they were falling out
during the recording.

602
00:36:55,100 --> 00:36:58,860
And a British couple. Yes. Who were
going through the same problems.

603
00:36:58,860 --> 00:37:02,380
Now, the songs that they were
writing about each other

604
00:37:02,380 --> 00:37:04,100
were genuinely about each other.

605
00:37:04,100 --> 00:37:09,500
So, Stevie wrote Dreams, which was
about her boyfriend Lindsey. Yeah.

606
00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:12,980
And then he wrote You Can
Go Your Own Way. Yes.

607
00:37:12,980 --> 00:37:16,620
I know where you're going with this.
I think it's phenomenal.

608
00:37:16,620 --> 00:37:20,740
The worst one was, was it Christine
wrote the song of John, her husband?

609
00:37:20,740 --> 00:37:23,940
Er, yes. She did You Make Loving
Fun and he must have thought,

610
00:37:23,940 --> 00:37:27,940
"Lovely song," but she was writing about the
lighting engineer she was having an affair with.

611
00:37:27,940 --> 00:37:30,260
This is true.

612
00:37:30,260 --> 00:37:33,460
Are you starting to feel even
vaguely sorry for me?

613
00:37:34,940 --> 00:37:38,220
It was unbelievably awkward
in the studio

614
00:37:38,220 --> 00:37:42,260
because Lindsey would save the
vocals until all the recording

615
00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:43,980
was done because he knew Dan well.

616
00:37:43,980 --> 00:37:46,660
If he starts singing all the lines
you're talking about

617
00:37:46,660 --> 00:37:49,100
with Stevie standing there,
she'd walk out.

618
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:51,020
But the worst thing is...
Quite clever.

619
00:37:51,020 --> 00:37:52,940
It is, for getting the album down,

620
00:37:52,940 --> 00:37:56,620
but then if you have to take it on
tour, poor old Stevie, all of them,

621
00:37:56,620 --> 00:37:59,060
have to perform these songs about,

622
00:37:59,060 --> 00:38:01,900
"I've got a small penis
and I'm better off..." Yes.

623
00:38:01,900 --> 00:38:03,100
Because I'm just thinking,

624
00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:05,940
if we ever put a band together
on Top Gear, I could write a song

625
00:38:05,940 --> 00:38:10,260
called I Am A Crashing Bore and
then get James May to perform it.

626
00:38:10,260 --> 00:38:11,460
Awww.

627
00:38:11,460 --> 00:38:14,780
Then James could write one,
I'm An Irritating Little Brummie,

628
00:38:14,780 --> 00:38:17,180
and for 40 years
Hammond would have to go along,

629
00:38:17,180 --> 00:38:20,420
"I really don't like doing this."
Because that's what Rumours is.

630
00:38:20,420 --> 00:38:21,460
No doubt.

631
00:38:21,460 --> 00:38:26,460
That experience in the studio
was so horrendous, emotionally,

632
00:38:26,460 --> 00:38:31,260
and the music was great and we all
aspired to... We didn't ever think

633
00:38:31,260 --> 00:38:34,500
of walking out because we were
so into what we were doing.

634
00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:37,660
Became the glue that
if we got through that,

635
00:38:37,660 --> 00:38:41,620
we can get through 12 years
of high, high-powered,

636
00:38:41,620 --> 00:38:44,820
which is probably 12-15 years,
we didn't stop doing anything.

637
00:38:44,820 --> 00:38:46,980
Literally on the road,
in the studio...

638
00:38:46,980 --> 00:38:51,460
Cos you are still all together.
We are, yeah. We must get onto cars.

639
00:38:51,460 --> 00:38:53,060
We must get onto cars.

640
00:38:53,060 --> 00:38:57,140
You live on the Pacific island
of Maui. I do. Yeah. OK.

641
00:38:57,140 --> 00:39:00,860
You are a rock god,
an incredibly successful musician.

642
00:39:00,860 --> 00:39:03,420
And you drive a...

643
00:39:03,420 --> 00:39:06,820
My most cherished car
is an Austin 7.

644
00:39:06,820 --> 00:39:08,500
And we... This is... We're not...

645
00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:11,940
This is a picture of you with it
that we have here. Yeah.

646
00:39:11,940 --> 00:39:13,900
How did you come by that?

647
00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:18,020
Many, many, many years ago,
I probably was like 19.

648
00:39:18,020 --> 00:39:21,140
A friend of mine had a flat
in Earls Court.

649
00:39:21,140 --> 00:39:24,340
I get off the tube and there was
this little car,

650
00:39:24,340 --> 00:39:27,340
I kept walking by it,
month after month after month,

651
00:39:27,340 --> 00:39:29,260
and I fell in love with the car.

652
00:39:29,260 --> 00:39:33,820
And one time I left a note
on the car, said,

653
00:39:33,820 --> 00:39:36,460
"If ever you fancy selling this,

654
00:39:36,460 --> 00:39:38,820
"I would love to give
this car a home."

655
00:39:38,820 --> 00:39:43,500
And then about 18 months later we happened
to be starting to do fairly well.

656
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:46,180
My mum, which was
the phone number I had left,

657
00:39:46,180 --> 00:39:48,860
got a phone call from
the guy, who said,

658
00:39:48,860 --> 00:39:53,660
"I'm moving and I want a home
for my little car." And I bought it.

659
00:39:53,660 --> 00:39:55,300
And you've still got it now? Yeah.

660
00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:58,900
But I presume that all the way
through these late '70s

661
00:39:58,900 --> 00:40:01,620
and '80s, obviously, you were
in a limo, so where was that?

662
00:40:01,620 --> 00:40:04,580
Well, that was part of those years

663
00:40:04,580 --> 00:40:06,900
when you're not quite sure
what happened.

664
00:40:09,580 --> 00:40:12,980
And I went with the band
to the United States,

665
00:40:12,980 --> 00:40:15,900
which was probably 15 or 16 years.

666
00:40:15,900 --> 00:40:18,820
Eric Clapton was
then my brother-in-law.

667
00:40:18,820 --> 00:40:24,700
I said, would you look after - it was
called Lettuce Leaf. The car was?

668
00:40:24,700 --> 00:40:28,860
By my children, it was Lettuce Leaf,
so it was always Lettuce Leaf.

669
00:40:28,860 --> 00:40:32,180
He said, sure, we'll put
it in the barn, and that was it.

670
00:40:32,180 --> 00:40:35,340
And years later, I got a call
from Eric's manager saying,

671
00:40:35,340 --> 00:40:36,740
"Can we get rid of it?"

672
00:40:36,740 --> 00:40:40,780
And I didn't realise it had
been in his orchard for 15 years

673
00:40:40,780 --> 00:40:44,100
and was full of birds' nests,
had been out in the open.

674
00:40:44,100 --> 00:40:46,620
It survived and they had it rebuilt,

675
00:40:46,620 --> 00:40:50,700
and the next time I saw it
was in Maui, where I live,

676
00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:56,780
and us car people, stupid sloppy
dates that we tend to be,

677
00:40:56,780 --> 00:41:00,660
I sort of broke down
when I met her at the dock.

678
00:41:00,660 --> 00:41:01,740
She was just there,

679
00:41:01,740 --> 00:41:05,260
in Maui, and I went,
"How cool is that?" I love all that.

680
00:41:05,260 --> 00:41:09,580
That's exactly what cars are.
To me, how fast they go

681
00:41:09,580 --> 00:41:12,860
is sort of not relevant,
it's how you... Absolutely.

682
00:41:12,860 --> 00:41:16,660
I got married to my first wife in
that car, and that was my only car.

683
00:41:16,660 --> 00:41:19,460
Now, presumably, you can't drive
Lettuce Leaf all the time,

684
00:41:19,460 --> 00:41:25,700
so what...? I have a 2004 twin turbo
Porsche that I like a lot.

685
00:41:25,700 --> 00:41:30,340
And I had it all tarted up.
That's my main car.

686
00:41:30,340 --> 00:41:33,020
Can you get it going in Maui?

687
00:41:33,020 --> 00:41:36,100
It's only an island,
so there's only three roads, really.

688
00:41:36,100 --> 00:41:39,780
But there is one that goes right
through sugarcane fields

689
00:41:39,780 --> 00:41:44,940
and you can get up to about 130,
140 miles an hour in certain places,

690
00:41:44,940 --> 00:41:48,140
which I confess that I do.
You just have, actually.

691
00:41:49,220 --> 00:41:52,060
You just did do that.
And that's in the Porsche.

692
00:41:52,060 --> 00:41:54,660
Have you actually ever done
any racing?

693
00:41:54,660 --> 00:41:58,220
Only in the old days,
the wicked '80s and early '90s.

694
00:41:58,220 --> 00:42:01,140
Anybody and everybody was doing it.

695
00:42:01,140 --> 00:42:03,740
It was an excuse for another
party or something,

696
00:42:03,740 --> 00:42:07,180
and we were all... Half of us
were stoned, most of the time.

697
00:42:08,220 --> 00:42:10,620
So what was it like out there today?

698
00:42:10,620 --> 00:42:12,620
Better than last week,
when it was snowing.

699
00:42:12,620 --> 00:42:15,580
Well, I wasn't stoned,
so that's good.

700
00:42:16,820 --> 00:42:18,500
Who would like to see Mick's lap?

701
00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:20,980
Yeah!

702
00:42:20,980 --> 00:42:25,180
Come on, mate. Lord.
Let's have a look. God.

703
00:42:26,460 --> 00:42:28,380
Right. Now, you're a drummer,

704
00:42:28,380 --> 00:42:30,860
and I always associate drummers
with being coordinated.

705
00:42:30,860 --> 00:42:32,660
Don't stop, come on, come on.

706
00:42:32,660 --> 00:42:36,420
Remember the damn song,
you played it for 40 years.

707
00:42:36,420 --> 00:42:38,620
.."Thinking about tomorrow"!
First corner.

708
00:42:38,620 --> 00:42:41,540
But you think drummers are going
to be able to get their hands

709
00:42:41,540 --> 00:42:46,140
and their feet... This was not me,
right? Yep, it sure is. Into the mud.

710
00:42:46,140 --> 00:42:49,900
That's pretty tidy.
Come on, don't pussyfoot it.

711
00:42:52,340 --> 00:42:54,700
You don't want to go
too fast through there,

712
00:42:54,700 --> 00:42:57,900
you'll just spin wide.
That looks quite tidy as well.

713
00:42:59,380 --> 00:43:03,420
Glad I had those brown underpants on,
I can tell you that much.

714
00:43:04,740 --> 00:43:08,260
What a beautiful looking day
out there it is today.

715
00:43:08,260 --> 00:43:14,140
It's going to go wrong any second,
right? No, look at that! Bang on.

716
00:43:15,260 --> 00:43:17,380
And up now towards
the follow-through.

717
00:43:18,780 --> 00:43:24,940
Full power. Full power, yes, yes,
yes, yes. Power it. Power!

718
00:43:24,940 --> 00:43:26,940
Come on!

719
00:43:28,140 --> 00:43:34,580
Cut it, cut it. Yes. This is the
tricky one. And that is nicely cut.

720
00:43:34,580 --> 00:43:37,620
And into Gambon...

721
00:43:37,620 --> 00:43:41,540
And no big dramas there,
and across the line!

722
00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:48,660
Now, that looked tidy.
But was it fast?

723
00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:57,620
Whereabouts do you think you've come?
I dread to think. No idea?

724
00:43:58,860 --> 00:44:03,260
I hope I'm not in the last 10.
You're not.

725
00:44:03,260 --> 00:44:07,100
Because, Mick Fleetwood,
you did it in 1...

726
00:44:08,220 --> 00:44:13,820
..45.4. And that...

727
00:44:15,420 --> 00:44:16,980
..puts you...

728
00:44:20,020 --> 00:44:22,820
..between a wizard
and bassist in Blur.

729
00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:29,660
Now, wait a minute. I always try
to look for some good news there.

730
00:44:29,660 --> 00:44:34,220
How old are you?
If that's not... I'm 65. Yeah, 65.

731
00:44:34,220 --> 00:44:37,100
So, you are, without any question
or shadow of doubt,

732
00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:39,660
the fastest pensioner
we've ever had.

733
00:44:45,620 --> 00:44:48,820
I've been looking forward to you
coming down ever since

734
00:44:48,820 --> 00:44:50,500
we knew this series was coming back,

735
00:44:50,500 --> 00:44:52,620
and it's just for me been
an enormous pleasure.

736
00:44:52,620 --> 00:44:54,940
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mick Fleetwood!

737
00:45:05,180 --> 00:45:10,140
Tonight we're driving across America
in three GT cars - the Lexus LFA,

738
00:45:10,140 --> 00:45:14,740
the Aston Martin Vanquish,
and the SRT Viper.

739
00:45:14,740 --> 00:45:17,620
So far, we have established
that none of them

740
00:45:17,620 --> 00:45:19,860
is a match for a
GP modified Mitsubishi

741
00:45:19,860 --> 00:45:23,220
and that all three have been
beaten by fighter planes.

742
00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:26,260
So, nothing of any practical
value whatsoever.

743
00:45:26,260 --> 00:45:29,260
But maybe that will
change in Los Angeles.

744
00:45:41,060 --> 00:45:44,380
'For a genuine, real-world test,
Hammond decided

745
00:45:44,380 --> 00:45:47,620
'we should head for one of the
city's famous storm drains.'

746
00:45:48,780 --> 00:45:49,900
Tell you what,

747
00:45:49,900 --> 00:45:53,940
I bet I can leave longer elevenses
in this then you can in yours.

748
00:45:53,940 --> 00:45:57,220
What, you mean black marks
on the road from wheel spinning?

749
00:45:57,220 --> 00:45:59,620
Yes, wheel spinning starts,
leave elevenses.

750
00:45:59,620 --> 00:46:02,940
I can do a longer elevenses than you.
No, you can't.

751
00:46:02,940 --> 00:46:05,220
I'll be the adjudicator.
You can be the adjudicator

752
00:46:05,220 --> 00:46:07,900
because I'm going to demonstrate
something to you now.

753
00:46:09,260 --> 00:46:12,380
Three, two, one and go.

754
00:46:22,620 --> 00:46:24,420
I'd say that was a dead heat. Yeah.

755
00:46:24,420 --> 00:46:29,380
'So, Hammond suggested we should see
who could do the best doughnuts.'

756
00:46:34,580 --> 00:46:36,500
Skid!

757
00:46:36,500 --> 00:46:38,100
Doing a big skid now.

758
00:46:39,180 --> 00:46:42,540
'Many Hollywood scenes have been
filmed here over the years,

759
00:46:42,540 --> 00:46:46,980
'but none has ever looked or
sounded quite as bovine as this.

760
00:46:46,980 --> 00:46:50,020
'And none has ever caused
quite so much damage.'

761
00:46:55,660 --> 00:47:00,260
Suggestions? I mean, running away,
obviously. That's where I was going.

762
00:47:00,260 --> 00:47:05,500
Running away, really. How far should
we run away? Quite a long way.

763
00:47:07,180 --> 00:47:09,500
And how soon? Now.

764
00:47:14,060 --> 00:47:16,380
I can't get my seatbelt on.

765
00:47:18,780 --> 00:47:20,140
Get in!

766
00:47:23,580 --> 00:47:25,380
Running.

767
00:47:25,380 --> 00:47:26,420
Running away.

768
00:47:28,380 --> 00:47:31,420
Desperate times
call for desperate measures.

769
00:47:31,420 --> 00:47:34,580
'Lexus, this is Sonia,
where would you like to go today?'

770
00:47:34,580 --> 00:47:38,940
Yes, hello, I've accidentally
painted a gentleman's sausage

771
00:47:38,940 --> 00:47:40,580
on a storm drain.

772
00:47:40,580 --> 00:47:42,740
My. I need to run away.

773
00:47:45,900 --> 00:47:51,580
'The lovely lady suggested Palm
Springs, which was 110 miles away.

774
00:47:51,580 --> 00:47:56,100
'So we settled down and thought
a little bit about our cars.'

775
00:47:57,940 --> 00:47:59,860
Let's have a quick recap.

776
00:47:59,860 --> 00:48:04,020
This Aston has
the most charismatic engine,

777
00:48:04,020 --> 00:48:08,100
it's the most tasteful
and it was the least shot.

778
00:48:08,100 --> 00:48:11,580
Ask yourself, honestly,
from watching this programme,

779
00:48:11,580 --> 00:48:15,460
which of these cars you take if
you were to drive across America,

780
00:48:15,460 --> 00:48:18,300
across Europe, across Siberia.

781
00:48:18,300 --> 00:48:21,140
It doesn't matter. It's this one.

782
00:48:23,380 --> 00:48:26,700
I said at the beginning
of this trip that I had a feeling

783
00:48:26,700 --> 00:48:31,220
I might fall for the Viper, and
I have. It's won me over completely.

784
00:48:31,220 --> 00:48:34,660
It doesn't have the aluminium accents
inside of the Aston,

785
00:48:34,660 --> 00:48:36,260
or the computers of the Lexus,

786
00:48:36,260 --> 00:48:39,140
but it's done everything
we've asked of it on this journey,

787
00:48:39,140 --> 00:48:44,980
and it's done everything with its own
particular style, its own attitude.

788
00:48:44,980 --> 00:48:48,020
And let's not forget, at a fraction
of the price of the other two,

789
00:48:48,020 --> 00:48:49,940
this is the plucky underdog here.

790
00:48:51,820 --> 00:48:55,580
If somebody were to offer me
a choice of any car that had

791
00:48:55,580 --> 00:48:59,820
ever been made, ever,
I would take a dark blue LFA.

792
00:48:59,820 --> 00:49:04,020
That's how much I love this thing.
I mean, yes, there are faults.

793
00:49:04,020 --> 00:49:08,980
The petrol tank is too small, the
seatbelt is idiotic, and, joking

794
00:49:08,980 --> 00:49:13,980
aside, I would like a cup holder,
but the rest of it is so exquisite.

795
00:49:15,300 --> 00:49:18,820
I'm going to say it.
It's the best car I've ever driven.

796
00:49:18,820 --> 00:49:21,340
It really is.

797
00:49:25,620 --> 00:49:27,220
'With all that sorted out,

798
00:49:27,220 --> 00:49:30,100
'we opened the taps
and headed into Palm Springs.'

799
00:49:50,940 --> 00:49:54,900
Men bouncing a ball like
a netball. Like small girls.

800
00:49:54,900 --> 00:49:57,180
The man is going to catch the ball
and then throw it.

801
00:49:57,180 --> 00:49:59,980
And they score so many goals,
nobody reacts when they get a goal.

802
00:49:59,980 --> 00:50:03,580
Because it happens every 35 seconds.

803
00:50:03,580 --> 00:50:05,980
You can't really tackle someone,
can you?

804
00:50:05,980 --> 00:50:08,780
Erm... Can they not take
the ball...? Gentlemen, gentlemen.

805
00:50:11,300 --> 00:50:13,700
Haven't we finished?

806
00:50:18,780 --> 00:50:21,100
"We think you should run away more.

807
00:50:21,100 --> 00:50:23,900
"Tomorrow morning,
at precisely 8 o'clock,

808
00:50:23,900 --> 00:50:25,740
"you will race to the border."

809
00:50:25,740 --> 00:50:27,220
What border?

810
00:50:27,220 --> 00:50:29,660
You're not going to like this.

811
00:50:29,660 --> 00:50:33,260
"The last to arrive
will cross into Mexico...

812
00:50:34,420 --> 00:50:37,380
"..and spend a few days road testing
the Mastretta sports car

813
00:50:37,380 --> 00:50:40,620
"for a forthcoming
item on the show."

814
00:50:40,620 --> 00:50:47,500
The Mastretta is the one that
started a bit of trouble for us.

815
00:50:47,500 --> 00:50:49,980
When we spoke about it
on the news on the show,

816
00:50:49,980 --> 00:50:52,660
the Mexicans took an exception
to some of the things we said.

817
00:50:52,660 --> 00:50:57,020
They hate us in Mexico. Don't want
to go to Mexico. No, they hate us.

818
00:50:58,260 --> 00:51:01,580
'We told Hammond
we'd get an early night.

819
00:51:01,580 --> 00:51:03,580
'But we didn't.'

820
00:51:03,580 --> 00:51:06,380
Right, James and I have had
a bit of a discussion,

821
00:51:06,380 --> 00:51:09,420
and we've decided that since
it was Hammond that caused all

822
00:51:09,420 --> 00:51:11,620
the problems,
Hammond should lose this.

823
00:51:11,620 --> 00:51:13,260
So what have you got in mind, James?

824
00:51:13,260 --> 00:51:14,820
Well, what I've got in mind, Jeremy,

825
00:51:14,820 --> 00:51:17,500
or rather in my pocket,
is a couple of bananas.

826
00:51:17,500 --> 00:51:19,340
Because I've seen this in a film,

827
00:51:19,340 --> 00:51:21,380
I thought we could put
a banana in the tailpipe.

828
00:51:21,380 --> 00:51:23,300
A banana in the tailpipe.
Let's do it.

829
00:51:23,300 --> 00:51:25,980
What this does is prevent
the car from exhausting

830
00:51:25,980 --> 00:51:29,900
and the back pressure builds up
in the engine, and then it stops.

831
00:51:29,900 --> 00:51:32,620
'Annoyingly,
the Viper's exhaust was so big

832
00:51:32,620 --> 00:51:36,180
'we had to substitute the bananas
with a selection of other fruits.

833
00:51:36,180 --> 00:51:38,860
'And then Clarkson
had another idea.'

834
00:51:38,860 --> 00:51:41,940
If we pop his seat
all the way back, yes?

835
00:51:42,980 --> 00:51:45,540
It also has electric pedals,
this thing, yes?

836
00:51:45,540 --> 00:51:47,980
So if we make the pedals go
all the way forwards,

837
00:51:47,980 --> 00:51:54,300
the seat all the way back, and
then take the fuse out... Yes!

838
00:51:55,380 --> 00:51:58,900
'Having stolen the fuses
for the seat and the pedals,

839
00:51:58,900 --> 00:52:02,700
'we then disconnected two
of the V10's HT leads.'

840
00:52:02,700 --> 00:52:07,060
He's got a V8 motor,
he's got... No pedal movement.

841
00:52:07,060 --> 00:52:10,580
No pedal movement,
seat's fully back. That'll do.

842
00:52:14,660 --> 00:52:18,660
'At precisely 8:07 the following
morning, the race began.'

843
00:52:21,300 --> 00:52:23,260
Get back! Get back!

844
00:52:23,260 --> 00:52:27,980
The Lexus. The Viper!
The Lexus, the Lexus. It's there!

845
00:52:27,980 --> 00:52:29,500
That's mine, that's mine.

846
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:35,820
Funny! I can't...
What are you...?

847
00:52:35,820 --> 00:52:38,540
No!

848
00:52:39,740 --> 00:52:42,580
This seatbelt is going
to be the death of me.

849
00:52:45,260 --> 00:52:47,460
Nice Thank you! Nice.

850
00:52:48,940 --> 00:52:51,820
Just for the record, and in case
this goes terribly wrong,

851
00:52:51,820 --> 00:52:55,300
I said I didn't like Mexican food,
and what I meant was,

852
00:52:55,300 --> 00:52:57,660
I don't like refried beans
and cheese.

853
00:52:57,660 --> 00:53:00,580
That's all.
It's all Hammond's fault.

854
00:53:02,100 --> 00:53:05,140
- Funny, funny, also funny.
- Thank you

855
00:53:05,140 --> 00:53:07,340
Right, we live in a cartoon,
really

856
00:53:10,100 --> 00:53:12,180
That's not right.

857
00:53:13,740 --> 00:53:17,140
The problem is that
Richard Hammond may be stupid

858
00:53:17,140 --> 00:53:20,540
and a rampant racist,
but he is quite practical.

859
00:53:20,540 --> 00:53:24,220
He'll have that car put back
together again in about five

860
00:53:24,220 --> 00:53:26,060
minutes - it would take me a year.

861
00:53:26,060 --> 00:53:28,220
It's an HT lead off.

862
00:53:28,220 --> 00:53:30,980
One...two.

863
00:53:30,980 --> 00:53:33,060
Right. I will kill them.

864
00:53:33,060 --> 00:53:35,100
I'm going to kill them.

865
00:53:35,100 --> 00:53:37,140
If the Mexicans don't, I shall.

866
00:53:40,900 --> 00:53:44,180
'As Hammond began
his hate-fuelled charge,

867
00:53:44,180 --> 00:53:48,100
'Jeremy and I were bogged down
in downtown Palm Springs.'

868
00:53:49,740 --> 00:53:53,420
So, we've got a retirement
community, the rozzers up ahead,

869
00:53:53,420 --> 00:53:56,940
there's nothing I can do.
40 miles an hour.

870
00:53:59,900 --> 00:54:02,780
I lost, I don't know, 10 minutes.
Maybe more.

871
00:54:02,780 --> 00:54:05,220
Jeremy's got to stop for fuel.

872
00:54:05,220 --> 00:54:07,860
He'll never get that done
in under five minutes.

873
00:54:07,860 --> 00:54:11,100
I have to hope James
gets lost or dawdles.

874
00:54:14,340 --> 00:54:17,060
What's really unfair
about this race is that

875
00:54:17,060 --> 00:54:22,420
I wasn't particularly rude about
Mexicans, I just made a small joke

876
00:54:22,420 --> 00:54:25,380
about the Mexican ambassador
in London.

877
00:54:25,380 --> 00:54:27,780
And I've been to see him,
I've apologised,

878
00:54:27,780 --> 00:54:32,460
drunk quite a lot of his tequila,
and all is well.

879
00:54:32,460 --> 00:54:35,420
But the Mexicans don't know that.

880
00:54:36,860 --> 00:54:39,940
'Once clear of Palm Springs,
we faced a choice.

881
00:54:39,940 --> 00:54:43,100
'Take the road to the east
of the Salton Sea, which was longer

882
00:54:43,100 --> 00:54:47,900
'but should be quiet, or go on the
freeway and pray it wasn't too busy.

883
00:54:47,900 --> 00:54:50,100
'I went for the freeway.'

884
00:54:52,020 --> 00:54:54,020
Take me to victory, Aston Martin.

885
00:54:57,860 --> 00:55:00,820
'Whilst, stupidly,
Jeremy went for the longer route.'

886
00:55:03,220 --> 00:55:07,180
106 miles to the border
and my range is...

887
00:55:08,900 --> 00:55:10,780
..104.

888
00:55:13,260 --> 00:55:14,460
Ohhhh.

889
00:55:14,460 --> 00:55:16,500
So now I've got a choice.

890
00:55:16,500 --> 00:55:22,660
Do I drive slowly and increase the
range, or drive fast and fill up?

891
00:55:25,860 --> 00:55:26,980
That one.

892
00:55:28,700 --> 00:55:30,060
I'm having him.

893
00:55:32,020 --> 00:55:36,180
Jeremy can't be going this fast
on that mountain road, surely.

894
00:55:37,820 --> 00:55:41,300
'Sorry, James, it wasn't a mountain
road, which meant that once

895
00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:46,860
'more, thanks to editing trickery,
I could get up to 55 miles an hour.'

896
00:55:49,540 --> 00:55:52,260
I'm in an American road movie now.

897
00:55:54,620 --> 00:55:58,780
'Feeling pleased with my choice
of route, I called Mr Angry.'

898
00:56:00,380 --> 00:56:05,060
Hammond. You utter,
utter bastard. Where are you?

899
00:56:05,060 --> 00:56:10,100
I'm on the east side, on the most
amazing road I've ever found.

900
00:56:10,100 --> 00:56:14,220
God. Have you seen James?

901
00:56:14,220 --> 00:56:17,660
No, I'm on the other road,
the other side of the water.

902
00:56:17,660 --> 00:56:19,340
So he should be ahead of me

903
00:56:19,340 --> 00:56:23,780
if he's gone this way, or... James
is on your side of the lake.

904
00:56:23,780 --> 00:56:27,500
So he must be on this road then.
Right, I'm going to reel him in.

905
00:56:35,700 --> 00:56:38,700
In fact, at this point,
we all had the hammer down.

906
00:56:45,380 --> 00:56:51,740
51 miles to go. 30 miles of range.

907
00:56:53,860 --> 00:56:58,340
Come on, Aston. Where the hell
is Hammond? Is he catching me?

908
00:57:00,420 --> 00:57:04,100
Right, 60 miles.
And no sign of James.

909
00:57:04,100 --> 00:57:07,380
I'm just praying to see
a speck of blue up ahead.

910
00:57:07,380 --> 00:57:10,260
I've got to be in front of Jeremy,
there's no way he can do it.

911
00:57:10,260 --> 00:57:11,900
He's got to stop for fuel.

912
00:57:14,060 --> 00:57:16,940
♪ Stand by your man... ♪

913
00:57:19,100 --> 00:57:22,180
I don't know what that is,
but that's all it's having.

914
00:57:23,580 --> 00:57:28,020
'To find out what damage the fuel
stop had done, I called May.'

915
00:57:29,700 --> 00:57:31,460
Clarkson. May, where are you?

916
00:57:31,460 --> 00:57:33,300
I have got to the bottom of the lake

917
00:57:33,300 --> 00:57:35,700
and I'm just coming
into the small town...

918
00:57:35,700 --> 00:57:40,020
No, I think you're ahead of me.
Has Hammond caught you up?

919
00:57:40,020 --> 00:57:43,580
Hammond is behind me,
but only by a few miles.

920
00:57:43,580 --> 00:57:47,540
Argh! That means he's probably
ahead of me.

921
00:57:47,540 --> 00:57:50,580
'But the race wasn't done yet.

922
00:57:50,580 --> 00:57:53,860
'Because at the bottom of the lake
there were three routes to

923
00:57:53,860 --> 00:57:57,180
'the finish line in the border
town of Calexico.

924
00:57:57,180 --> 00:58:00,540
'And none of us had any idea
which would be the fastest.'

925
00:58:02,260 --> 00:58:04,700
Jeremy will go on the 111.
He has to,

926
00:58:04,700 --> 00:58:09,140
because he's come from that side,
he will get to that one first.

927
00:58:09,140 --> 00:58:14,740
I get to the 86 first, but is it quicker?
I just don't know. God.

928
00:58:14,740 --> 00:58:16,700
What would Hammond do?

929
00:58:19,380 --> 00:58:24,140
Right, this road takes me straight
through Calexico to the border.

930
00:58:24,140 --> 00:58:26,140
I think this is the quickest.

931
00:58:26,140 --> 00:58:28,820
I think James has gone
a different route,

932
00:58:28,820 --> 00:58:30,620
this is where I'm going to take him.

933
00:58:32,460 --> 00:58:34,540
Please, God, don't let me be last.

934
00:58:37,020 --> 00:58:40,500
A big drive-through dentist there,
hopefully Hammond will stop at that.

935
00:58:43,700 --> 00:58:47,140
Four miles, come on, come on,
come on, come on.

936
00:58:48,980 --> 00:58:54,380
Coming into town now. This all
looks decidedly Mexican now.

937
00:58:54,380 --> 00:58:56,220
Which is to say brilliant, very nice.

938
00:58:57,700 --> 00:58:59,220
God.

939
00:58:59,220 --> 00:59:00,820
Traffic lights.

940
00:59:02,420 --> 00:59:05,340
God, and the rozzers
are behind me.

941
00:59:06,420 --> 00:59:08,740
Fifth Street, yes.
Does it go to Mexico?

942
00:59:08,740 --> 00:59:10,980
Where is the border crossing?

943
00:59:12,780 --> 00:59:16,140
Can't get lost right now.
Mess it all up at the end.

944
00:59:18,260 --> 00:59:20,260
Border, border, border.

945
00:59:39,820 --> 00:59:41,940
You beauty!

946
00:59:43,420 --> 00:59:46,100
May or Hammond,
which one is going to be eaten?

947
00:59:47,940 --> 00:59:51,060
'The answer came seconds later.'

948
00:59:51,060 --> 00:59:54,540
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

949
00:59:59,580 --> 01:00:03,180
I don't care if you won -
is it just you here? Yep.

950
01:00:03,180 --> 01:00:05,220
Ho-ho!

951
01:00:05,220 --> 01:00:07,540
God, no. No.

952
01:00:12,180 --> 01:00:14,100
Buenos dias!

953
01:00:15,660 --> 01:00:18,340
Is that Mexico there?
That's the border there.

954
01:00:18,340 --> 01:00:21,420
Look, it's very simple.
Goodbye. Bye, thank you so much.

955
01:00:21,420 --> 01:00:23,980
You're in the United States
of America, land of the free.

956
01:00:23,980 --> 01:00:27,060
There's a big fence, the other
side of it, everybody hates you.

957
01:00:27,060 --> 01:00:28,860
Bye! Bye.

958
01:00:30,580 --> 01:00:34,100
It's a bit like sending Paddington
Bear into a mincing machine,

959
01:00:34,100 --> 01:00:38,060
there is an element of...
He looks quite tragic.

960
01:00:38,060 --> 01:00:39,980
With that, back to the studio.

961
01:00:43,820 --> 01:00:46,980
I think we can probably handle
a conclusion on our own.

962
01:00:46,980 --> 01:00:51,660
Because the Aston Martin and
the Lexus were... Tremendous.

963
01:00:51,660 --> 01:00:54,140
They really were, weren't they?

964
01:00:54,140 --> 01:00:56,620
And the Viper was... Awful.
Awful, absolutely.

965
01:00:56,620 --> 01:00:58,180
So there we are.

966
01:00:58,180 --> 01:01:01,500
Now, we will be bringing you
a review of the Mexican Mastretta

967
01:01:01,500 --> 01:01:05,060
sports car in a couple of weeks,
unless of course in the meantime

968
01:01:05,060 --> 01:01:08,900
somebody finds a suspiciously white
tooth in their taco.

969
01:01:10,260 --> 01:01:13,180
In which case, we will be showing
you a touching tribute to

970
01:01:13,180 --> 01:01:15,940
the late broadcaster
Richard Hammond.

971
01:01:15,940 --> 01:01:19,660
So, on that potential bombshell,
it's now time to end.

972
01:01:19,660 --> 01:01:21,780
Thank you so much for watching,
good night.

973
01:01:21,805 --> 01:01:24,305
Corrections by Wally73