1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:06,679
It's goat bone? I don't want that.

2
00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:09,839
And it's got a cockerel on it.

3
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,880
Yeah, I'll have one of them
and the kettle.

4
00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:13,959
God! What?

5
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,720
My bed's gone out of alignment.

6
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,999
'Our adventure began
in Uganda where,

7
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,639
'armed with three
£1,500 estate cars,

8
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,399
'we were given
a spectacular challenge.'

9
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,480
You will find
the source of the River Nile.

10
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:38,000
'To make life easier, we converted
our cars into mobile homes.'

11
00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:39,399
Whoa!

12
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,200
What's that? Living quarters
combined with a workshop.

13
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,959
Nobody in the history of Africa

14
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,359
has ever been
more comfortable than this.

15
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,080
'Having failed to find the source
of the Nile in western Uganda...'

16
00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,639
Southeast? Yeah. It's no good.

17
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,440
'..we decided the actual source
was in northern Tanzania.'

18
00:01:04,441 --> 00:01:10,039
That means going through Rwanda,
Tanzania to there. Such a long way!

19
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,759
It is a long way. Right.

20
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:17,919
'And so, a 600-mile journey began,
a journey that has already

21
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,360
'taken us through the toughest
terrain imaginable.'

22
00:01:21,361 --> 00:01:23,639
Argh! Aaarrrrghhh!

23
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,039
Whoa!

24
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,000
Come on! Come on!

25
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:36,119
'And, on top of all this, it turned
out I was traveling with a thief.'

26
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,599
How long's that been there?
Good grief!

27
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,759
Is that my door?!

28
00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,998
Well, you're not using that bit.
You didn't even notice.

29
00:01:44,999 --> 00:01:46,360
That's it! That's it!

30
00:01:48,473 --> 00:01:52,716
Top Gear S19E07 Africa Special part 2
Corrections and sync Wally73

31
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:23,319
'As dawn broke, the peace
and serenity of this beautiful.

32
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:28,240
'Ugandan morning was shattered
by the bellow of a wild animal.'

33
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,918
Last night, while Hammond
and May were round the campfire

34
00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:45,278
discussing Uganda, I made an
interesting modification to my car.

35
00:02:45,279 --> 00:02:48,518
Yesterday, I discovered hill starts
were very difficult.

36
00:02:48,519 --> 00:02:52,078
I can't ride the clutch because of
the throttle problem and I can't use

37
00:02:52,079 --> 00:02:54,078
the handbrake because it's broken,

38
00:02:54,079 --> 00:02:57,238
so what I've done is fitted
this log at the back.

39
00:02:57,239 --> 00:03:00,398
You tow it along normally, but then
when you want to start on a hill,

40
00:03:00,399 --> 00:03:02,200
you let the car roll back onto it,

41
00:03:02,201 --> 00:03:05,479
use it as a wedge
and set off easily.

42
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,520
It's simple, it's elegant,
it's brilliant.

43
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:19,480
'As we set off on our long drive,
the mood was a little fractious.'

44
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:25,360
If I know James May at all,
and I'm sorry to have to say I do,

45
00:03:25,361 --> 00:03:29,679
he won't be so cross about the theft
of part of his bonnet as

46
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:33,800
he will be about the shoddiness
of the execution of the theft.

47
00:03:33,801 --> 00:03:37,039
It's not a neat job.
That will rankle.

48
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,319
Look at it!

49
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,558
I mean, that looks like
it was done

50
00:03:40,559 --> 00:03:42,958
with a knife and fork
by the council.

51
00:03:42,959 --> 00:03:46,240
It's not square, it's not neat,
he's wasted material,

52
00:03:46,241 --> 00:03:49,639
he's left sharp edges,
it's all bent.

53
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,680
I cannot conceive of the mind
of a man who would look at that

54
00:03:52,681 --> 00:03:55,759
and think that was
the right way to do it.

55
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,078
'I don't mind you taking a bit
of my bonnet, that's fair.

56
00:03:59,079 --> 00:04:01,880
'I do mind you doing such
an appalling bloody job of it,

57
00:04:01,881 --> 00:04:03,519
'you ham-fisted oaf!'

58
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,358
Honestly, I could do a better
job than that

59
00:04:05,359 --> 00:04:06,760
with the end of a bulldozer!

60
00:04:06,761 --> 00:04:09,839
Well, I... I couldn't find any tools.

61
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,198
'The back of the car is full
of bloody tools!

62
00:04:12,199 --> 00:04:15,078
'The biggest tool in this
operation was you!'

63
00:04:15,079 --> 00:04:18,600
A pair of tin snips looks
like a pair of robust scissors

64
00:04:18,601 --> 00:04:23,079
and their function is obvious.
They are obviously not a hammer!

65
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,799
This could go on.
'Obviously not a screwdriver!

66
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,558
'They are obviously not a spanner!
They are obviously designed...'

67
00:04:30,559 --> 00:04:32,960
There we go, that's got rid of him.

68
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,679
'Soon we came to an uphill stretch,

69
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,880
'so I decided to test
my new handbrake.'

70
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:46,600
Simply pop it off the back,
roll it out.

71
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,600
Watch this.

72
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,440
Roll back.

73
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:04,119
The wooden handbrake is holding me,
I simply set off.

74
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,080
Here we go.

75
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:14,399
Yes! So there we are,

76
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,640
hill starting solved!
Sometimes my genius is...

77
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,280
It's almost frightening!

78
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,559
Well, fair dos, that works.

79
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:31,200
You do have to tow a log about,
but it works. I am a happy man today.

80
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:39,359
Chaps? Yes? Are we likely to see a
gorilla? I hope we do see a gorilla.

81
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,958
I'd show them my bonnet and say,

82
00:05:40,959 --> 00:05:42,918
"Could you do a better job
than that?"

83
00:05:42,919 --> 00:05:46,480
But look on the bright side, James,
it's going to be a scorcher today.

84
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,600
My God!

85
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:09,679
Did that..? Dear!

86
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:13,960
The handbrake bounced up and has
broken my hotel viewing platform.

87
00:06:13,961 --> 00:06:16,679
You've got glass in your duvet!

88
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,239
Stupidest idea in history!

89
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,998
Jeremy,
people walk around here barefoot.

90
00:06:21,999 --> 00:06:24,840
You've got to sweep all this stuff.
We have.

91
00:06:24,841 --> 00:06:29,879
But look - God gave us a tool
for just such a moment as this.

92
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:33,038
Would you not agree this is
the ideal tool, James, for this job?

93
00:06:33,039 --> 00:06:36,520
Yes, hammers do have their uses.
I can think of one right now.

94
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,200
'After cleaning up my mess,

95
00:06:39,201 --> 00:06:44,200
'we carried on through yet more
breathtaking countryside.'

96
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,520
Look at the state of that view.
Wait a minute.

97
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:04,440
Does the world get any
prettier than this?

98
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:17,080
'In fact the only blot
on the landscape was our hideous.

99
00:07:17,081 --> 00:07:19,280
'Ford Scorpio back-up car.'

100
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:26,080
I've just realised I forgot to eat
anything this morning. I'm starving.

101
00:07:26,081 --> 00:07:31,159
Well, Hammond made me a lovely plate
of beans. Beans? What sort of beans?

102
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,000
Do you know, they were baked?!

103
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:40,799
'Soon, the dirt track gave way to
some perfect Chinese-built roads,

104
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,480
'a blessed relief
for our battered cars.

105
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,879
'And after a simple 50-mile cruise,

106
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,840
'we reached the border.'

107
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:07,159
Goodbye, Uganda, and thank you. That
was an education. And now, Rwanda.

108
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,840
I don't know anything about Rwanda.

109
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,680
'As it turned out,
James knew even less.'

110
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:21,999
James? What? Apparently they drive on
the other side of the road in Rwanda.

111
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:27,960
Do they really James, really,
we're not fooling you! Yeah, yeah.

112
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:43,959
'Mercifully, there was more Chinese
tarmac, so we were able to surge

113
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,438
'through a country where,
actually, none of us

114
00:08:46,439 --> 00:08:48,560
'had really known what to expect.'

115
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,279
In 1994,
this country witnessed

116
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,720
the worst genocide
in the history of humankind.

117
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,080
A million people
died in around about three months.

118
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,560
A million people in three months!
With machetes and garden tools.

119
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,359
And that was only 18 years ago,
and now look.

120
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:17,240
It's incredible how quickly things,
on the surface at least...

121
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,440
..mend themselves.

122
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:28,439
Hello!
Hello! Hello, hello!

123
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,319
It's constant.

124
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,678
All the roads,
even out here in the sticks,

125
00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,038
are just absolutely
three-deep in people,

126
00:09:35,039 --> 00:09:38,000
and they all wave when you go by
and you have to wave back.

127
00:09:38,001 --> 00:09:42,879
Hello! Hello! Hello, hello.
Hello. Hello.

128
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,920
Hello! Hello.

129
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:55,279
'After many more miles of waving,
smooth tarmac

130
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,720
'and stunning scenery...

131
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:04,160
'..we arrived on the other side of
Rwanda at its border with Tanzania.'

132
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,200
That was a long drive,
but we've done it - all of Rwanda.

133
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,480
Now for an interminably long wait.

134
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,678
'The paperwork did indeed
take an age,

135
00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:22,240
'but, happily, Jeremy
and I found a way to pass the time.'

136
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,520
Funny Ha-ha-ha

137
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,920
'And then, finally,
we crossed over into Tanzania.'

138
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,398
Shall we make camp here, gentlemen?

139
00:10:35,399 --> 00:10:39,320
It's been a long drive with a long
border crossing of 900 hours.

140
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,918
'Despite the calm
stillness of the evening,

141
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:56,840
'James plainly still had a bee
in his bonnet about his bonnet.'

142
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:02,999
This evening
I am going to need... these.

143
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,799
And I'm going to need these

144
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,839
and this.

145
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,479
And I'm going to need
these tin snips,

146
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:16,359
which are like scissors but much
stronger. I'm going to need those.

147
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,440
I'm going to need all these
things for this evening.

148
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,199
Right, I'm up to 18 million
pieces of glass.

149
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,720
Look in another fold, there you go -
18 million and two, three...

150
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:32,439
Why do they call this stuff
safety glass? I mean, it isn't!

151
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,560
Why can't it just
break into four pieces?

152
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:38,119
Why does it have to
break into 19 million pieces?

153
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,079
And it goes everywhere!

154
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,360
You could be in bed
and it's outside your house

155
00:11:42,361 --> 00:11:45,039
and it goes in your pyjamas!

156
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,160
18 million and ten.

157
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,000
No.

158
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:55,560
No.

159
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:02,120
No.

160
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:06,520
Yes.

161
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,920
No.

162
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,399
Good morning, viewers.

163
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,080
I'm afraid things may have got
a little out of hand in camp

164
00:12:50,081 --> 00:12:52,559
last night, but it's good news!

165
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:57,360
I found another piece of scrap metal
and I managed to mend my bonnet!

166
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:06,039
I'll admit, I was FURIOUS when James
stole my bonnet scoop, but then

167
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:10,520
on Jeremy's car, I found something
that does the job just as well.

168
00:13:10,521 --> 00:13:13,120
I'm calling it the poop scoop.

169
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:20,119
I was a bit cross about losing
my lavatory, but then, staggeringly,

170
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:24,399
in the middle of a remote field
in Tanzania, I found

171
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,879
a rear window that fitted
into the back of my car!

172
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:31,599
I mean,
it looks like it's meant to be here!

173
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,520
It's uncanny!

174
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:39,680
'Unfortunately, the modifications to
Hammond's now half-timbered Subaru

175
00:13:39,681 --> 00:13:43,479
'seem to have
impaired his visibility.'

176
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,880
No!

177
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,679
Bad!

178
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,120
Anyway, we've woken up,
slightly thick heads.

179
00:13:54,121 --> 00:13:55,839
We're all mates again,

180
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,118
which is just as well, because
we've got an extremely long day...

181
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:14,999
That is a river. Yes, it is. Well,
there must be a bridge somewhere.

182
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,878
Why MUST there be a bridge? Well,
there must be! Well, there isn't!

183
00:14:17,879 --> 00:14:21,440
Look! Well, there isn't one THERE,
but there'll be a bridge.

184
00:14:21,441 --> 00:14:26,599
I know what.
It's time to deploy the ARU. What?

185
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,599
The ARU -
Aerial Reconnaissance Unit.

186
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,838
I knew this sort of thing would
happen. Where did that come from?

187
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:35,798
I've been working on it for
the last couple of weeks at home

188
00:14:35,799 --> 00:14:39,598
for just such an eventuality.
Have you? Have you really?

189
00:14:39,599 --> 00:14:44,080
Did you build it? Yeah. Really? Well,
you've got a helicopter license.

190
00:14:44,081 --> 00:14:45,679
You fly it. Right.

191
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,480
I operate the camera underneath

192
00:14:47,481 --> 00:14:51,680
that swivels about and you tell us
what it's seeing, James.

193
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,160
Right, are we ready?
Yes, I've got a picture.

194
00:14:57,161 --> 00:14:59,360
Hammond? Yes... Begin!

195
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,600
Yes! There she goes!
There you go. That's good.

196
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,478
Right, that height is good.
Now head that way, down the river.

197
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:16,158
Point it down. You're not pointing
it at the river. Point it down.

198
00:15:16,159 --> 00:15:17,918
Well, you'll need to point it down.

199
00:15:17,919 --> 00:15:20,240
No, you fly level,
you point the camera down. Yeah.

200
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,638
Got it. River turns left...
That's good.

201
00:15:24,639 --> 00:15:26,640
There's no bridge, though.
Keep going.

202
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,240
Pivot right a bit.

203
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,640
Swivel left, camera.

204
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,119
Hang on a minute. What?

205
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,358
There's like a big weir thing.
It's not a weir, James!

206
00:15:41,359 --> 00:15:44,318
That's the biggest waterfall
I've ever seen!

207
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:47,200
Right, that's relevant
Right, good. No bridge.

208
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:52,000
'And it was the same story
when we looked upstream.'

209
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,520
Bring it back, Hammond.

210
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,520
'With the ARU back at base...

211
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,800
'..we had to work out how
we could cross this river

212
00:16:04,801 --> 00:16:09,440
'that was full of killer waterfalls,
bilharzia and many teeth.'

213
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:20,479
Why don't we build... a car ferry?
What, with like a bar and everything?

214
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,920
No, no!
Like that thing we saw in Albania!

215
00:16:22,921 --> 00:16:25,919
Like a raft? Why don't WE build one?

216
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,840
Look, I used to build them when I
was a kid! I fell in a lot, but...

217
00:16:28,841 --> 00:16:34,199
Wood... What else do you need?
Rope. Oil drums.

218
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,478
You need to lash the rope together.
Maybe some nails and a hammer.

219
00:16:37,479 --> 00:16:40,558
Probably a hammer, yeah.
Oil drums, oil drums underneath.

220
00:16:40,559 --> 00:16:42,758
This sounds like the worst
management course ever!

221
00:16:42,759 --> 00:16:46,398
You know those Outward Bound courses
where you've got a chicken and...

222
00:16:46,399 --> 00:16:49,038
OK, then. Thanks to Hammond,
it's back to the studio.

223
00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:50,158
All we need is a platform

224
00:16:50,159 --> 00:16:52,878
big enough to take a car that
will take its weight and floats.

225
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:55,518
Then we pull it across on ropes
like the Albanian one.

226
00:16:55,519 --> 00:16:57,438
We drove through a village,
did we not,

227
00:16:57,439 --> 00:16:59,758
about... just behind those
banana trees?

228
00:16:59,759 --> 00:17:01,958
Yes, but do you think
they sell rafts for cars?

229
00:17:01,959 --> 00:17:04,798
They might sell car ferries. No,
but they've always got...

230
00:17:04,799 --> 00:17:08,518
Don't want a banana, don't want
a headscarf, I'd like a car ferry.

231
00:17:08,519 --> 00:17:11,798
"We've got one in the back, sir."
Look, I'm going to divide this up.

232
00:17:11,799 --> 00:17:16,040
I'm going to find some rope. You go
and find some oil drums. You go...

233
00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:18,479
I'll get some wood. And some wood.

234
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:29,120
Right, off you go. Have you got
the hammer and stake? Yeah.

235
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,240
Your rope's come off!

236
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:45,160
You're getting nearer, James!
I'm not!

237
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,520
Would you say you were nearer,
James? No.

238
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,719
'With HMS Wobbly in the water,

239
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:07,320
'Hammond and May decided that
my car should go first.'

240
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:17,159
Good. A tiny, tiny bit left.
Straight, that's good.

241
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,119
Hold on.

242
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:22,440
You need to go... BLEEP.
It's close. Tiny bit right.

243
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:29,759
OK, your back wheels are on.
I am now boarding our ferry.

244
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:34,320
That's good. 'As I inched forwards,
a hungry audience gathered.'

245
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,440
You'll feel when you're on
cos you'll hit the chock.

246
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,160
Two and a half feet. Feet?! Yeah.

247
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,518
Good, a bit more. You're just
about to... There you go, you're on!

248
00:18:50,519 --> 00:18:51,880
Put it in gear and turn off.

249
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,280
These have got to come with us
for the other side.

250
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:01,559
'With the ramps on board,
we set off.'

251
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,679
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

252
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,119
What did you just do? Cast off.

253
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:11,439
Are we now underway? Yes.
Pull on the rope. I am.

254
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,079
I'm Geoff Capes!

255
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:17,679
I am pulling a BMW 528i Touring
across a crocodile-infested river!

256
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,038
And the impressive thing is, you're
not making a fuss about it either.

257
00:19:21,039 --> 00:19:23,278
No, I'm not showing off, but I am...

258
00:19:23,279 --> 00:19:24,918
James, wait! James, James, James!

259
00:19:24,919 --> 00:19:26,718
What? It doesn't make any
difference.

260
00:19:26,719 --> 00:19:29,038
Stay at the back!
James, please stay at the back!

261
00:19:29,039 --> 00:19:31,798
Stop being such an old woman -
it doesn't make any difference!

262
00:19:31,799 --> 00:19:34,798
Really? So that barrel's just
come back above the water again...

263
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:37,558
But it's not going to go
all the way down, is it?

264
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:44,038
Right... So if I get on the bank
and James throws me a yellow rope...

265
00:19:44,039 --> 00:19:46,238
Good idea.
Can you get on the bank from there?

266
00:19:46,239 --> 00:19:49,640
These logs get really slippery! Yes.
Right, you're on the bank...

267
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,318
Good catch

268
00:19:52,319 --> 00:19:55,360
The throw wasn't brilliant.
I'll go to the back. Whey!

269
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:58,640
Well...

270
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,800
People are now turning over to watch
Red Or Black? Or something.

271
00:20:03,801 --> 00:20:06,319
I'm sorry we made it.

272
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,798
Nobody was expecting that.

273
00:20:07,799 --> 00:20:08,838
Got it?

274
00:20:08,839 --> 00:20:12,920
'Mind you, there was still the small
matter of disembarking.'

275
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,679
..not convinced.

276
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,680
Yes!

277
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,400
Well, you're NEARLY ashore.

278
00:20:25,401 --> 00:20:27,119
Aren't I ashore?

279
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,079
Not entirely ashore, no.

280
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,239
Yes, I'm ashore.

281
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:32,880
Is that wheel ashore? Yes.

282
00:20:32,881 --> 00:20:35,239
'We weren't convinced,

283
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,080
'so we gave him a helping hand.'

284
00:20:37,081 --> 00:20:38,280
Here we go!

285
00:20:38,281 --> 00:20:40,199
Yes!

286
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,399
Feeling good.

287
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,119
Yes, yes!

288
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,279
God, I'm a good driver.

289
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,919
'Back on the other bank,

290
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,958
'it was Hammond's turn,
and for some reason,

291
00:20:55,959 --> 00:20:58,560
'he decided to make life difficult
for himself.'

292
00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:00,759
Why are you BACKING on?

293
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,878
Because it is quite difficult getting
off at the other side, yeah? Yeah.

294
00:21:04,879 --> 00:21:07,438
And your BMW is now there
so it could tow me off.

295
00:21:07,439 --> 00:21:09,078
The only towing eye is at the back.

296
00:21:09,079 --> 00:21:11,520
It does mean I'll have to
reverse on.

297
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,920
Hold on, hold on!
Does that look right from there?

298
00:21:15,921 --> 00:21:17,719
What...?

299
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,438
Stop! Stop!
You're turning the wheel.

300
00:21:26,439 --> 00:21:29,680
I did NOT turn the wheel.
You turned it minutely.

301
00:21:29,681 --> 00:21:31,519
I might have leant on it.

302
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,000
You're miles off the end.
A little more.

303
00:21:36,001 --> 00:21:37,319
And... stop.

304
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,599
I am SO onboard!

305
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,758
James, you can pull this time,
you'll see how easy it is

306
00:21:42,759 --> 00:21:45,638
I shall be ballast, there.
That's the ticket!

307
00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:49,040
Not all at the same time.
You can't come on this side.

308
00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:51,119
I can't go on the other side.

309
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,838
Look at the angle.
Gentlemen... Climb through the car.

310
00:21:53,839 --> 00:21:56,078
..It is impossible to stand there

311
00:21:56,079 --> 00:21:59,238
because there are two ramps piled
on top of one another.

312
00:21:59,239 --> 00:22:00,878
Hammond, get in your sitting room!

313
00:22:00,879 --> 00:22:02,798
I can't.
Get in your sitting room! No!

314
00:22:02,799 --> 00:22:04,200
You need to be on the other side.

315
00:22:04,201 --> 00:22:06,959
Climb over the bloody car.

316
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,120
You've got heavier...

317
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:15,200
That was tied on! No, I took
the rope off. We needed the rope.

318
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:16,679
I took it off.

319
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,199
I CAN go on the other side...

320
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:20,639
as it turns out.

321
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,680
Perfect. Let's go. Forget the chair.

322
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,119
Are we there yet

323
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:30,079
Somebody's had me chair!

324
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,560
That man's got your chair!

325
00:22:31,561 --> 00:22:34,719
Good for him. Enjoy it!

326
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,999
Ooh!

327
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,880
'On the other side, I was determined
to make a better job of disembarking

328
00:22:39,881 --> 00:22:41,480
'than Jeremy had.'

329
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,039
Power. Hoo!

330
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,999
Some of you's onboard.

331
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,800
Whoa, we got a problem.

332
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,880
That's all completely hopeless
and you've sunk the raft

333
00:22:54,881 --> 00:22:56,920
and your catflap's terrible.

334
00:22:59,839 --> 00:23:01,560
'I then pulled Hammond off...'

335
00:23:01,561 --> 00:23:03,519
Ya-hey!

336
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,919
'..And that gave me an idea.'

337
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,199
Why don't we use this to pull
the ferry across

338
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,680
with the Volvo on it?

339
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,120
Why would we not do that?

340
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:21,120
'Rather sceptically, Hammond and I
went back to get my Volvo.'

341
00:23:21,121 --> 00:23:24,559
Crack on.

342
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,318
Our father, who art in heaven,

343
00:23:26,319 --> 00:23:29,080
if you're there,
make it go upside down, please.

344
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:35,039
Steady! Wooh!

345
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,719
Ooh!

346
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,639
Shall I come back? Just a tiny bit.

347
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,879
Wah-duh...! Stop making
squeaking noises.

348
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:47,999
The thing is, the BMW has
a 50-50 weight distribution.

349
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,840
50% over the front axle,
50% over the back,

350
00:23:50,841 --> 00:23:53,239
which is why the raft was level.

351
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:54,679
With James' car,

352
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:58,039
70% of the weight is over
the front axle.

353
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,560
That's why the whole thing
is tipping down.

354
00:24:00,561 --> 00:24:02,439
Are we attached? Yes.

355
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,319
Jeremy, we have begun!

356
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,119
Right,
so I pull you across the river.

357
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:09,519
Yeah, gently.

358
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,440
Very, very slowly indeed!

359
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,200
If it goes under,
it'll probably go nose-in, won't it?

360
00:24:16,201 --> 00:24:20,519
Yeah, I'll stand at the back.
Are you ready?

361
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,719
He's going already, hang on.

362
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,120
This is Captain Hammond
ringing down to the engine room.

363
00:24:25,121 --> 00:24:28,600
You have the slacks.
That's plenty fast enough!

364
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,639
Yes, gently.

365
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,719
Seriously, Jeremy.
We are going under.

366
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,679
That's too fast, too fast!

367
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,759
Yes!

368
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:40,880
Yes!

369
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:43,840
Gently, gently - seriously!

370
00:24:43,841 --> 00:24:45,159
We're going in.

371
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:51,479
Jeremy, absolutely stop
or you'll have deaths on your hands.

372
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,959
I've been shouted at so much.

373
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,720
Need a zesty drink.

374
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:08,959
'Eventually, our third and final car
was ready to go ashore.'

375
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,400
Forward. My Gawd!

376
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,039
Well, credit where it's due.

377
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,040
Come on!

378
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,960
You have to admit that is quite
a finish, with a flourish!

379
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:29,559
'It had been a fraught undertaking,
but the fact was that,

380
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,079
'against the odds,

381
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:35,399
'all three of our cars were
on the other side of the river.'

382
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,198
That's the first time,
I think, in ten years,

383
00:25:38,199 --> 00:25:39,558
we've ever done anything

384
00:25:39,559 --> 00:25:41,158
ambitious and successful.

385
00:25:41,159 --> 00:25:43,680
I think you're right.
And doesn't it feel good?

386
00:25:43,681 --> 00:25:45,639
It feels weird, frankly.

387
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,400
Normally there's one of us
in the water, in the jaws of a lion,

388
00:25:48,401 --> 00:25:50,119
going, "He's dead!"

389
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,520
It was genuinely peculiar.

390
00:25:51,521 --> 00:25:53,159
My God!

391
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,559
It's gone! It's completely gone!

392
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,920
It's completely sunk!

393
00:26:01,921 --> 00:26:03,799
Well done

394
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,800
You can see how difficult
OUR job is.

395
00:26:05,801 --> 00:26:07,999
That's how deep it was!

396
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,078
That could have happened to us.

397
00:26:10,079 --> 00:26:12,600
- It could have done...
- But it didn't!

398
00:26:12,601 --> 00:26:14,119
Onwards.

399
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:17,319
'Leaving the producers to
clear up their mess,

400
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:18,720
'we set off.

401
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,478
'And soon discovered that
Tanzania's roads were not

402
00:26:25,479 --> 00:26:26,800
'built by the Chinese.'

403
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:32,599
Pothole, pothole, pothole,
pothole. BIG one.

404
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,799
It is like driving through
a minefield.

405
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:39,679
If you take your eye
off the road for a second,

406
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,560
you are into one
and they are massive.

407
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,398
I don't know how James
will cope with this,

408
00:26:47,399 --> 00:26:50,280
because you can only
concentrate on one thing at a time

409
00:26:50,281 --> 00:26:55,359
and when he's driving that is
normally an obscure poet.

410
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:58,560
"Yes, Philip Larkin's done some
very good... no,."

411
00:26:58,561 --> 00:27:00,439
"I've hit a pothole."

412
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,519
'Soon James hit a pothole...'

413
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:06,039
No!

414
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:10,119
'..So hard,
it took out two of his tyres.'

415
00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:13,239
Erm... d'you remember...

416
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,079
it seems like months ago,

417
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,358
but at the beginning of this voyage,
we looked at these tyres and said,

418
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,918
"There's no way those tyres will
survive Africa?"

419
00:27:20,919 --> 00:27:23,160
The signs are not good, are they?

420
00:27:23,161 --> 00:27:25,639
In that they're not. It's goodbye.

421
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,358
You just wait here for the backup
car. You know the code.

422
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:29,758
No, the backup car's

423
00:27:29,759 --> 00:27:32,078
at the bottom of a
crocodile-infested river.

424
00:27:32,079 --> 00:27:34,198
I don't need the backup car,
I have spare wheels.

425
00:27:34,199 --> 00:27:36,920
You're not very helpful or useful
to me. I'll see you later.

426
00:27:36,921 --> 00:27:39,000
See you, James. Bye. Bye!

427
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,800
'Once the Annoying Brothers
had left,

428
00:27:42,801 --> 00:27:46,719
'I discovered it was rather more
than just tyre damage.'

429
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,519
Ho-ho-ho!

430
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,720
'Both wheels had shattered!

431
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,998
'Having raided the support
truck for more,

432
00:27:58,999 --> 00:28:01,000
'I set off and caught up
with the others

433
00:28:01,001 --> 00:28:03,320
'in a swarm of lake flies.'

434
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,399
'This told us we were getting
close to Lake Victoria.

435
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,879
'At 150 miles across,

436
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:21,800
it was too wide for us to even think
about building a homemade ferry.

437
00:28:21,801 --> 00:28:25,960
'So we decided to use one someone
else had made earlier.'

438
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,120
Have you ever seen more
flies than that

439
00:28:31,121 --> 00:28:33,119
in one place ever?

440
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,078
I'll give you a million pounds
if you go

441
00:28:39,079 --> 00:28:41,000
and stand there naked for an hour.

442
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,760
'The voyage across Lake Victoria
took more than

443
00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:26,639
'16 hours, but there was
good news on the other side.

444
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,278
'The ferry would drop us
close to the River Grumeti,

445
00:29:29,279 --> 00:29:31,600
'the river that WE believed
would take us

446
00:29:31,601 --> 00:29:34,440
'to the source of the Nile.'

447
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,520
We're going to find
the mouth of the river,

448
00:29:41,521 --> 00:29:44,399
track that back to its source,

449
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,040
and we've done it.

450
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:51,880
30 seconds...

451
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,440
'Keen to demonstrate
the advantage of four-wheel drive

452
00:30:01,441 --> 00:30:03,679
'to the bewildered crowd,

453
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,399
'Hammond insisted on going first.'

454
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,000
Right, here we go.

455
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,120
I am ashore!

456
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,838
'You're letting
yourself down, the BBC, '

457
00:30:43,839 --> 00:30:47,000
and the whole country with your
incompetence, Hammond.

458
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,040
Come on!

459
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,199
Sorry about that, Skipper!

460
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,719
Leave him. We can leave him.

461
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,999
'And so...

462
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,360
'we did.'

463
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,480
Bye, Hammond! Bye!

464
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,759
Hello.

465
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:09,960
Hello.

466
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:16,998
'As we disembarked a few miles away
on a proper landing jetty,

467
00:31:16,999 --> 00:31:19,680
'Hammond was being
rescued by the locals.'

468
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,320
We're coming out!

469
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,759
Everybody needs money now

470
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:34,759
and I don't have any money.

471
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,360
Erm...

472
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,360
I've got biscuits.

473
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,439
More biscuits, more sweets.

474
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:45,720
One second.

475
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,159
OK, this is becoming alarming.

476
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,519
Erm...

477
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:55,360
I've got crisps.

478
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:02,000
'With my lunch all gone,
I rejoined my colleagues.'

479
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,440
With hindsight, offering up
biscuits was a mistake.

480
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,519
Yes,
when you have 40 mouths to feed,

481
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,480
unless you're Jesus,
starting with two biscuits

482
00:32:15,481 --> 00:32:16,880
isn't brilliant.

483
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,078
Well, that arrival
was very happy and glorious

484
00:32:21,079 --> 00:32:23,238
and we're excellent
ambassadors for Britain

485
00:32:23,239 --> 00:32:25,360
and her long tradition
of exploration.

486
00:32:25,361 --> 00:32:27,399
In other news,

487
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,640
I've fitted a fan.

488
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:38,920
'We then broke out the map and went
off to find the mouth of our river.

489
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,440
'The beautiful and majestic
Grumeti.'

490
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,679
In my mind, it was prettier. Yes.

491
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:57,800
This is quiet, though.
It's not quiet.

492
00:32:57,801 --> 00:33:01,999
I admit, it's not picturesque
and it's not peaceful,

493
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,440
but if we find the source of this...

494
00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:05,879
We've done it.

495
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,958
..You can't argue,
we're in the history books.

496
00:33:07,959 --> 00:33:10,440
It flows through Lake Victoria,
into the Nile,

497
00:33:10,441 --> 00:33:11,959
along the Nile,

498
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,078
through the Med
and into the Atlantic.

499
00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:16,040
And as far as I can work out,

500
00:33:16,041 --> 00:33:17,679
it's there.

501
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,039
That's about 70 miles.

502
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,198
We only have 70 miles to do.
The good news is, look, some of it,

503
00:33:23,199 --> 00:33:25,440
you can follow the river
on that road.

504
00:33:25,441 --> 00:33:28,759
But that bit, the last bit,

505
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:31,479
it's off-road. Yeah.

506
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,879
Look, there's no tracks or anything.

507
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,960
Well... So, that's it.
It can only get prettier.

508
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:44,800
'And it did, because soon
we were in the Serengeti.

509
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,400
'A vast plain teaming with animals,
all of which, as usual,

510
00:33:56,401 --> 00:34:00,160
'were way beyond the reach
of our camera teams.'

511
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,320
Wildebeest! Wildebeest!

512
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,640
A zebra.

513
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,359
I've seen more already here
on the Serengeti

514
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,798
than I saw in
Sir Richard Hammondborough's.

515
00:34:23,799 --> 00:34:25,518
Planet Earth Live programme.

516
00:34:25,519 --> 00:34:28,798
'Why didn't you show us
all of these animals, Hammond,

517
00:34:28,799 --> 00:34:30,958
'on your Planet Earth Live
programme?

518
00:34:30,959 --> 00:34:33,400
'There's millions of them
we could have looked at!'

519
00:34:33,401 --> 00:34:35,000
Shut up!

520
00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:41,880
'Soon, we stopped to check on the
course of our "beautiful" river.

521
00:34:41,881 --> 00:34:46,520
'And here we saw the most
amazing wildlife yet.'

522
00:34:49,720 --> 00:34:53,160
They are the funniest creatures
on earth, aren't they?

523
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,520
Why are they so funny?

524
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,038
This one's been to
the Daktari shop in Florida,

525
00:35:03,039 --> 00:35:04,278
hasn't he, for his outfit?

526
00:35:04,279 --> 00:35:06,478
Every single piece of kit,
he's got the lot.

527
00:35:06,479 --> 00:35:08,998
I don't know why,
but American tourists -

528
00:35:08,999 --> 00:35:12,478
and I know we're watched in America,
I'm not saying you're all like this,

529
00:35:12,479 --> 00:35:14,680
but when you travel,
you're hysterical.

530
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:20,520
'Sadly, the Americans departed,
leaving us with nothing to look at

531
00:35:20,521 --> 00:35:22,639
'except some hippos.

532
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:26,000
'So we got back on the road
for the last few miles

533
00:35:26,001 --> 00:35:29,080
'of our epic journey.'

534
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:35,279
I'm going to put my hand
on my heart and say this

535
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,880
is the best Top Gear adventure
we've ever had.

536
00:35:37,881 --> 00:35:40,759
It's a noble quest in a truly

537
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:45,199
stunningly beautiful country
full of utterly hospitable people.

538
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:49,040
'And then, of course,
there were our cars.

539
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,880
'A trio of 1,500-quid high-milers.

540
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,558
'All had been presumably sold

541
00:35:56,559 --> 00:36:00,480
'because their owners thought
they were on their last legs,

542
00:36:00,481 --> 00:36:04,199
'but they'd come here and
taken on the worst

543
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:07,200
'that Africa could throw at them,
and they'd survived.

544
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,678
'But which had been the most
impressive?

545
00:36:11,679 --> 00:36:15,640
'Well, at the next river check,
we had a chat about that.'

546
00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:18,920
Normally we pick one car
that's best.

547
00:36:18,921 --> 00:36:21,039
Mm. I think on this occasion,

548
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,838
I can't be convinced mine
isn't the best,

549
00:36:23,839 --> 00:36:25,758
But I'm sure you're in the same...

550
00:36:25,759 --> 00:36:28,878
I wouldn't allow anybody to
convince me mine isn't the best.

551
00:36:28,879 --> 00:36:29,958
So, in other words,

552
00:36:29,959 --> 00:36:32,478
let's, on this occasion,
just agree to disagree

553
00:36:32,479 --> 00:36:34,358
and say they're all the best. Yes.

554
00:36:34,359 --> 00:36:36,800
Like one of those primary school
sports days.

555
00:36:36,801 --> 00:36:38,919
Yes. Everybody gets a prize.

556
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,958
You've all won.
There are no losers at St Barnabas'.

557
00:36:41,959 --> 00:36:44,438
Let's go with that,
they are all the best.

558
00:36:44,439 --> 00:36:46,638
That's fair.
They've all done well together.

559
00:36:46,639 --> 00:36:50,240
Let us now find the source of
this disgusting, scummy river. OK.

560
00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:53,879
Rubbish!

561
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:57,398
If this WERE a school sports day,
here's how it's worked out.

562
00:36:57,399 --> 00:37:00,598
Everyone's got all excited
because the BMW, the fat kid,

563
00:37:00,599 --> 00:37:03,518
and the Volvo, the geeky,
specky, nerdy kid,

564
00:37:03,519 --> 00:37:05,640
have finished the cross-country
course.

565
00:37:05,641 --> 00:37:08,959
"Well done,
we're so amazed you did it!"

566
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,558
But let's not forget
the fact that the genuinely

567
00:37:11,559 --> 00:37:14,400
sporty kid, the Subaru,
who's actually good at this stuff,

568
00:37:14,401 --> 00:37:17,439
also finished and finished well.

569
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,040
Because it's the best. Fact.

570
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,038
Ten minutes after this
show's finished,

571
00:37:27,039 --> 00:37:29,478
you won't be able to describe
what Jeremy was driving,

572
00:37:29,479 --> 00:37:31,840
but you'll be able to describe
this...

573
00:37:31,841 --> 00:37:34,639
because it's got personality,
character,

574
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,239
something about it.

575
00:37:37,240 --> 00:37:39,760
I'm going to miss it.

576
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,758
Now we're alone, viewers,
I can tell you that the Volvo

577
00:37:44,759 --> 00:37:47,680
is the best car here.
Because, let's not forget,

578
00:37:47,681 --> 00:37:49,799
this is a family estate.

579
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:55,439
It's a family estate pretending
to be a BTCC racing car.

580
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,078
So it's compromised, as well.

581
00:37:57,079 --> 00:37:59,720
It shouldn't be here,
it shouldn't have got this far,

582
00:37:59,721 --> 00:38:01,559
but it is and it has,

583
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,679
and that's why I love it!

584
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,840
It has the biggest heart.

585
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:09,839
How can May possibly say

586
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,838
that his Volvo's better than this?

587
00:38:11,839 --> 00:38:14,640
It's been like a seal
on the entire journey,

588
00:38:14,641 --> 00:38:17,999
endlessly dragging its stomach
along the floor.

589
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,399
And it broke his back.

590
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,000
He'd have been better off
doing this journey

591
00:38:23,001 --> 00:38:24,319
on a space hopper.

592
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,719
Then we have Hammond's "Tubaru,"

593
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:28,800
which is as needlessly complicated

594
00:38:28,801 --> 00:38:32,079
as those idiotic trousers
he insists on wearing

595
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,878
with all their special pockets
and clips for mossie spray

596
00:38:34,879 --> 00:38:37,600
and a hunting knife
with a special compass.

597
00:38:37,601 --> 00:38:38,959
What's the point?

598
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:43,799
I've done the entire journey
in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

599
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,559
And that's what the 5 Series is,

600
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,919
it's the familiarity of home...

601
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,280
here.

602
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,318
You're a car, you're a sitting-room,
you're a bedroom, you're a fridge,

603
00:38:57,319 --> 00:39:00,840
you're a power station that charges
up my phone every night,

604
00:39:00,841 --> 00:39:04,399
but most of all what you are,
what you've become -

605
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,159
is a mate.

606
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:10,199
And that is what makes
a car special.

607
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,800
That's what makes a car great.

608
00:39:11,801 --> 00:39:14,560
You start to think of it
as a person.

609
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:17,680
You start to love it.

610
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:23,358
'What our cars deserved now was
a relaxing cruise to the finish.

611
00:39:23,359 --> 00:39:25,280
'But that wasn't going to happen.'

612
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,520
Aaaagh! Aaaagh! No!

613
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:32,880
Whoa! Geez!

614
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:38,319
'The road was a rutted nightmare,

615
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,080
'and it was peppered
with sharp stones.

616
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:44,240
'It was a car killer.'

617
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,200
This is absolute
puncture alley, this.

618
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,000
Bloody Nora!

619
00:39:57,240 --> 00:39:58,959
What the BLEEP was that?

620
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,918
Now, Jez has stopped at the side of
the road, hang on, something is up.

621
00:40:02,919 --> 00:40:06,360
Jezza's been hit, I think,
probably by a stone into his window.

622
00:40:06,361 --> 00:40:08,759
Stone in through your window?

623
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,440
Something has just blown up
in there.

624
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,760
What the BLEEP was it?

625
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,840
That... Is it an airbag?
The airbag has gone off.

626
00:40:19,841 --> 00:40:24,519
Look, the smoke's still pouring
out of it. Is that the airbag?

627
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,720
Yes, the airbag just went off.
There was a massive flash...

628
00:40:27,721 --> 00:40:30,039
That is really weird! My ear.

629
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,078
I was saying this road
is so rough it's going

630
00:40:32,079 --> 00:40:34,998
to set the airbags off,
I said that just a few miles back.

631
00:40:34,999 --> 00:40:37,840
Well, I have never seen that.
No, me neither.

632
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:42,720
Phwoar!

633
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:46,400
Now I'm worried about this one.

634
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,880
'By now we'd had enough
and wanted to stop for the night,

635
00:40:51,881 --> 00:40:55,439
'but this was dusk on the Serengeti.

636
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,399
'Feeding time for the wildlife.

637
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:01,760
'So we had to reach a safe camp
that was 30 miles away -

638
00:41:01,761 --> 00:41:05,520
'30 miles that
turned into a massacre.'

639
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:11,640
Dear. Shot to bits.

640
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,520
Have you got any more fronts?
Yes, I've got one more.

641
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:24,759
That was new three minutes ago.

642
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,320
Three minutes later I've
got a flat on the front.

643
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:34,959
We've lost another one.

644
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,959
This road is beyond belief
for killing cars.

645
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:43,159
'It was inevitable, really,
that eventually one of us

646
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:46,320
'would suffer some damage
that was slightly more serious

647
00:41:46,321 --> 00:41:47,560
'than a puncture.'

648
00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:51,679
My God. You are in big trouble.

649
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,800
That one is straight, and
if you come around the other side,

650
00:41:54,801 --> 00:41:56,519
that's on full-left.

651
00:41:56,520 --> 00:42:00,399
You've broken a track rod
steering... My God.

652
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,638
You can see the wishbone... there.

653
00:42:02,639 --> 00:42:07,078
If you look in there you'll see
the end of it, where it's... gone.

654
00:42:07,079 --> 00:42:09,878
Is it sheared? Yes. It is
completely sheared off.

655
00:42:09,879 --> 00:42:11,560
That might have killed my car.

656
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:17,560
What's up? He's got a puncture.
He's also got a sheared wishbone.

657
00:42:17,561 --> 00:42:19,360
You're kidding. I'm not.

658
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,800
That's a game over, isn't it?

659
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:37,318
'The next morning, in our safe camp,

660
00:42:37,319 --> 00:42:39,960
'we counted up the toll
from Death Road.'

661
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:45,760
I had three punctures,
one of which I have still got.

662
00:42:45,761 --> 00:42:47,759
Two airbags went off,

663
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:51,519
both of which deafened me
and gave me heart attacks.

664
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,760
What else - all four shock
absorbers are completely ruined.

665
00:42:54,761 --> 00:42:56,799
Yours any better?

666
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:00,238
Well, I had two punctures,
the fuel line came off,

667
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,038
the front bumper collapsed,

668
00:43:02,039 --> 00:43:04,398
I am not even bothering
to look at my shocks,

669
00:43:04,399 --> 00:43:07,678
because I know they were
absolutely shot, shot absorbers,

670
00:43:07,679 --> 00:43:11,118
but on the plus side, all
the bits that attach the wheels

671
00:43:11,119 --> 00:43:12,520
to the car are intact.

672
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaking of which...

673
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:17,639
actually, where is he?

674
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:29,760
These are the remnants of the point
at which the track control arm went,

675
00:43:29,761 --> 00:43:33,759
and you can see it was just
rotten from the inside out.

676
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:37,158
It was going to go at some point,
and when it did collapse,

677
00:43:37,159 --> 00:43:40,320
it took the anti-roll bar
out on the way past.

678
00:43:40,321 --> 00:43:44,639
So, the only option is,
and it is quite a long shot -

679
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:46,239
this is all useless -

680
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:49,358
is to use the remainder of the
track control arm that's under

681
00:43:49,359 --> 00:43:50,760
there attached to the hub,

682
00:43:50,761 --> 00:43:55,480
and use this to fabricate and weld
on replacement bits for that.

683
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,120
'At times like this,
the procedure is clear.

684
00:44:03,121 --> 00:44:05,639
'We do leave a man behind.

685
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:09,359
'But, because we'd come
so far together, and because

686
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:15,079
'we hadn't had breakfast yet, James
and I decided to bend the rules.'

687
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,920
We'll give him till 11 o'clock.

688
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:19,559
Fair enough.

689
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,918
That's an hour and ten minutes.
Fair enough.

690
00:44:21,919 --> 00:44:24,278
What time did we get in last night,
about two?

691
00:44:24,279 --> 00:44:26,478
Something like that,
it went on for ever.

692
00:44:26,479 --> 00:44:28,760
Look at what I just slept in,
look at it!

693
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,760
I mean look at the... Thank you

694
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,959
'At exactly three minutes past 11,

695
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,398
'James and I were parked on the main
road by the camp, waiting to see

696
00:44:49,399 --> 00:44:51,680
'whether we would finish
this journey as a twosome,

697
00:44:51,681 --> 00:44:53,880
'or a threesome.'

698
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:58,440
Hammond is making a bit of a habit
of this on these adventures, now.

699
00:44:58,441 --> 00:45:01,359
Bolivia, his leg fell off. Oliver.

700
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,118
Oliver? Didn't it make it?
Can't remember.

701
00:45:04,119 --> 00:45:06,718
It did, but we had to wait for
it... Yes, for days and days.

702
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:08,760
..while he put it back together.

703
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,159
Hang on!

704
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:17,839
Do you hear that? I can, just.

705
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,999
Is that soundtrack of
an approaching moron,

706
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,319
or is it our support truck?

707
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,119
With his silly little face
at the wheel.

708
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:29,399
What is coming over the hill?

709
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:33,680
Please let it be a lorry,
please let it be a lorry.

710
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,960
We can't be... No. Pretend to be
pleased, pretend to be pleased!

711
00:45:39,961 --> 00:45:41,239
Pleased face!

712
00:45:41,240 --> 00:45:43,520
Great, we're all back together
as a team,

713
00:45:43,521 --> 00:45:45,639
right, good, here we go.

714
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:51,039
Well done, mate. Yes, well done!
Ha-ha-ha! Are you impressed? Yes.

715
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,358
We're impressed that
you're impressed. That's nice.

716
00:45:54,359 --> 00:45:57,880
That looks tremendous. Anyway,
Hammond, while you've been gone,

717
00:45:57,881 --> 00:46:01,919
James and I have made
a bit of a decision. What?

718
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:05,118
The source of our river
is somewhere up there, OK?

719
00:46:05,119 --> 00:46:07,358
Now, only one of us
can technically get there first -

720
00:46:07,359 --> 00:46:09,638
they'll be the one
who's remembered, the other two

721
00:46:09,639 --> 00:46:12,520
will be forgotten, because nobody
remembers who comes second.

722
00:46:12,521 --> 00:46:16,359
So, we propose a race. Yes.

723
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:17,839
Three, two, one - go!

724
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,238
And whoever finds the source first -

725
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:23,318
into the history books,
buried in Westminster Abbey.

726
00:46:23,319 --> 00:46:25,398
They dig up Livingstone,
throw him away,

727
00:46:25,399 --> 00:46:26,598
"You got it wrong..."

728
00:46:26,599 --> 00:46:28,400
You don't have to be buried
immediately?

729
00:46:28,401 --> 00:46:30,439
No, no, when you die.

730
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,518
So, are we ready? The producers are
on the other side of that river.

731
00:46:33,519 --> 00:46:36,000
You can shout "Go!"
I'll do it on my tannoy system.

732
00:46:36,001 --> 00:46:38,880
Are we ready, gentlemen? I am ready.

733
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,039
This is for everything.

734
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:49,440
The greatest race in the history
of mankind is about to begin.

735
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:53,600
Three, two, one - GO!

736
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:57,560
Power, etc.

737
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:04,160
Where is Jeremy? What was he doing?

738
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:09,960
Have they learned nothing from
last night? Because I did!

739
00:47:09,961 --> 00:47:12,120
Speed causes punctures.

740
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,478
17 miles an hour,
that's what you need.

741
00:47:16,479 --> 00:47:19,158
I don't want a puncture,
I want to win this,

742
00:47:19,159 --> 00:47:21,318
because this is a race for glory.

743
00:47:21,319 --> 00:47:23,480
The winner will go
in the history books,

744
00:47:23,481 --> 00:47:26,159
the losers will be quietly
forgotten,

745
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:29,360
and they will end up opening
a shoe shop, probably, in Durham.

746
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:36,919
'Top Gear's ARU had found an area
of hilly terrain 12 miles to

747
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:41,679
'the east, where we believed we
would find the source of the Nile.

748
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:44,320
'Getting there first mattered.'

749
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:49,518
Richard Hammond hot on my tail,
in the quest for the source

750
00:47:49,519 --> 00:47:51,560
of the Nile,
with his repaired suspension.

751
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,399
This is as fast as I dare go.

752
00:47:58,400 --> 00:47:59,839
Ooooh!

753
00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:06,038
The car has just undergone major
surgery, I have just closed

754
00:48:06,039 --> 00:48:08,840
the patient's chest, and
I'm forcing him to play rugby.

755
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,318
If Richard Hammond beats me
in this race,

756
00:48:13,319 --> 00:48:15,320
he will be knighted by the Queen.

757
00:48:15,321 --> 00:48:17,719
She will say, "Arise, Sir Richard."

758
00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:19,680
You already have.

759
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:24,600
Where the hell is Jeremy?

760
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:32,358
This James May-Christian motoring
isn't working,

761
00:48:32,359 --> 00:48:34,920
they're not getting punctures.
I'm going to revert to type.

762
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,200
I am a one-man dust machine.

763
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,680
Hammond is going for it,
he's making a move!

764
00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:55,720
Ha-ha-ha!

765
00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:02,199
'For the next few miles,
we jostled for the lead.'

766
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,239
Urgh, it's neck and neck.

767
00:49:04,240 --> 00:49:07,040
No!

768
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:12,759
I'm going left,
I'm going to do it. Ooooh!

769
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:14,599
Ha-ha-ha!

770
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:16,320
Ooh!

771
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:19,000
This!

772
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,800
There they are, I'm catching.

773
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:28,920
A warning light has come on
to say my car needs a service.

774
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:33,359
Oooh! Oooh! This is just...

775
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:35,360
killing my car.

776
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,440
'We were now in the area
where the source should be,

777
00:49:41,441 --> 00:49:44,599
'so we needed to go
off-road to find it.'

778
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,639
We're going to have to go
right somewhere.

779
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,760
Hold on, hold on, what's this?

780
00:49:49,761 --> 00:49:51,800
There!

781
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,400
Come on!

782
00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:59,480
Bugger Clarkson!

783
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:05,759
Yeaaah! What do you think
of that? Ha-ha!

784
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:07,880
Westminster Abbey is mine.

785
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:13,760
'As the plain opened out,
we realised that in normal racing,

786
00:50:13,761 --> 00:50:17,120
'people tend to know where
the finish line is.'

787
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:21,519
Which way, which way?

788
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:26,160
'But we had to rely on
intelligence and cunning.'

789
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:32,039
Right, trees, trees all
growing along a little valley,

790
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,759
that can only mean river.

791
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,278
That is a valley,
I'm not heading down into there,

792
00:50:37,279 --> 00:50:40,120
the source of the Nile isn't going
to be in a valley.

793
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:45,200
Ha! Uphill, you see.
Uphill is good.

794
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,920
I've totally lost my bearings here,
totally lost.

795
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:57,160
Hang on a minute!

796
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:00,159
This looks...

797
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:02,680
This looks like a stream.

798
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:06,119
It's going downhill that way.

799
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:08,079
So I follow it up...

800
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:10,640
and the source is in those rocks.

801
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:16,040
It has to be. Yeah!

802
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:23,439
Rocks. Many rocks.

803
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:25,320
That is the sort of magical place

804
00:51:25,321 --> 00:51:28,520
I anticipate finding
the source of the Nile.

805
00:51:32,240 --> 00:51:35,720
There's a bit there moving, so
it's that way. Right, here we go.

806
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:39,638
It's got to be this way,

807
00:51:39,639 --> 00:51:42,240
and Clarkson clearly has
the same idea.

808
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,519
'And so did Hammond.'

809
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:52,320
Can you imagine children
of the future learning in history

810
00:51:52,321 --> 00:51:55,239
lessons about Sir Richard Hammond?

811
00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:57,280
Nobody wants to think of that.

812
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,080
'Because only one of us
could achieve

813
00:52:01,081 --> 00:52:05,479
'immortality in the history books,
things soon got a bit ugly.'

814
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:07,239
Hammond's attacking him!

815
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:10,599
Get off!

816
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,880
Ha-ha-ha! I'm through.

817
00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:19,280
Hammond is properly in my way now,
he really is annoying me.

818
00:52:19,281 --> 00:52:24,039
I know how I can get Hammond
out of the way...

819
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:30,600
God! Not that!

820
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:35,720
I'm Genesis-ing him!

821
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:38,759
Aaaagh!

822
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:42,079
'Sadly, though, Genesis didn't work.

823
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:43,599
'So I rammed him.'

824
00:52:45,240 --> 00:52:47,520
What?!

825
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:50,680
I'm in the lead again!

826
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:56,639
Whoa! Whoa!

827
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,800
This Volvo is so far
out of its comfort zone.

828
00:53:05,720 --> 00:53:08,000
I'm going to go down in history!

829
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:13,440
Everything tells me this is...

830
00:53:13,441 --> 00:53:18,839
it's the highest ground for miles
around - it's got to be in there,

831
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,040
it's got to be in there.

832
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:26,480
Aaaaagh!

833
00:53:28,240 --> 00:53:32,199
But there can be no more than
a few hundred meters now,

834
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:34,320
we can afford to take a few knocks.

835
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,159
Whoa!

836
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:40,480
James, your suspension has collapsed.

837
00:53:40,481 --> 00:53:45,400
Your back wheel is coming off,
I'm not joking. Ha-ha-ha!

838
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,920
My car has collapsed.
I'm going on foot.

839
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:53,359
'As now were Richard and I.'

840
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:56,758
End of the road for you, old friend.
I'll tell you what it's like.

841
00:53:56,759 --> 00:53:57,920
I'm off.

842
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,599
It's geology, Jeremy, geology.

843
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:17,638
What have we got here? We've got
bedrock, the ground is sunk down,

844
00:54:17,639 --> 00:54:20,840
indicating the presence
of a spring, in my mind.

845
00:54:35,720 --> 00:54:37,120
Lizards.

846
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:46,879
Look at it. A stream has done this.

847
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,120
But where is the source?

848
00:55:01,720 --> 00:55:05,320
This has been wet. Wait...

849
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:10,359
This is soggy. This is soggy.

850
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:16,120
This could be a stream. It is
a stream I'm walking up, it is.

851
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:22,120
BLEEP Hammond is not having this!

852
00:55:28,240 --> 00:55:31,360
It goes downhill, that doesn't
mean it starts at the top.

853
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:35,799
Wait!

854
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,039
Wait!

855
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:39,040
Is it?

856
00:55:40,720 --> 00:55:41,880
No.

857
00:55:41,881 --> 00:55:43,920
Here?

858
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:48,199
That... Yes.

859
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:50,479
Yes!

860
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,719
Sorry, mate! That was close.

861
00:55:52,720 --> 00:55:54,799
Hammond!

862
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:57,838
Well done. That is
the source of the River Nile.

863
00:55:57,839 --> 00:56:00,800
I'm going to put my finger
in it, excuse me.

864
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:03,758
That is the root of civilization,

865
00:56:03,759 --> 00:56:06,320
that nourished the ancient
Egyptians. What, your finger?

866
00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:08,479
No, not my finger, the water.

867
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:14,519
That's going to nourish the Sudan,
Egypt, Greece, Italy, Spain.

868
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:19,320
Morocco, Algeria. That water is
the lifeblood of all of it.

869
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:26,119
So, that is the undisputed source
of the River Nile,

870
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,519
that is the man who found it,

871
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:31,599
and somewhere way down there

872
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,799
is the ruined Volvo
that brought him here.

873
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:39,919
We now have to claim this
little pond for Top Gear,

874
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:42,440
so, just bear with me, while I...

875
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:47,120
Is the Top Gear flag slightly
bigger than the Union Flag?

876
00:56:47,121 --> 00:56:48,719
Yes, that's right.

877
00:56:48,720 --> 00:56:51,758
Have we got this the right way up
this time, so we don't get...

878
00:56:51,759 --> 00:56:54,558
So, here's what I'm suggesting,
chaps - we plant the flags,

879
00:56:54,559 --> 00:56:58,040
and then we do what all great
Victorian explorers did,

880
00:56:58,041 --> 00:57:01,280
pose for a photograph
by our discovery.

881
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,280
Wait for the birdie!

882
00:57:05,287 --> 00:57:06,927
Three, two, one!

883
00:57:07,781 --> 00:57:11,562
Corrections and sync by Wally73