1
00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:04,477
Hey, Jake, why don't you tell Grandma
about your spring break.

2
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,511
- Bad idea.
- What?

3
00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:10,036
Nothing. I just saw that they're moving
the L.A. Gardening Exposition...

4
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:15,115
...to the Convention Center,
which I think is a very bad idea.

5
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,232
Thanks for the update.
Go ahead, Jake, tell Grandma.

6
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,715
- It was really cool, l...
- Hang on a second, Jake.

7
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,270
I'm not sure you understand
how serious this gardening thing is.

8
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,874
It's a really bad idea.

9
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,877
I get it. Bad idea.

10
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,672
Go ahead, Jake.

11
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,596
I went camping
with Grandma and Grandpa.

12
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,955
We slept in a tent,
we cooked on an open fire.

13
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,758
And we went hiking and saw a bear.

14
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,032
You let him spend an entire vacation
with his other grandparents...

15
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,918
...and I haven't had him for a night?

16
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,350
Oh, bad idea.

17
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,590
This is unfair and unacceptable.

18
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,716
From the moment
that boy was born...

19
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,474
...Judith's parents squeezed me out.
And you let them.

20
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,238
Interesting point.

21
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,271
Excuse me, Mom,
but when Jake was born...

22
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,159
...Judith's mother stayed with us,
cooking and cleaning...

23
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:28,118
...and taking care of him.
- Valid counterpoint.

24
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:31,437
Exactly. She's a pushy, pushy woman.

25
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,596
Personal opinion.

26
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,597
No, no. You went on a cruise.

27
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,870
But Judith was two days late.

28
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,076
And I had nonrefundable reservations.

29
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,913
Like it would have killed her
to get a C-section.

30
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,914
Self-obsessed psychotic rant.

31
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,271
- Mom, are you listening to yourself?
- Stupid question.

32
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,751
Awkward silence.

33
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,677
You wanna spend more time
with your grandson, he's right here.

34
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,559
No. He goes to visit
his other grandparents.

35
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,073
He should come to visit me.

36
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,477
- So you wanna spend a week with him?
- A week?

37
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,471
Alan, I do have a life.

38
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,675
I'm confused.
What exactly do you want?

39
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,919
The same quality time Jake spends
with his other grandparents.

40
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,433
But, you know, less.

41
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,077
I'll tell you what. Bring him
to my place around 6-ish tonight.

42
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,470
I'll make him dinner,
we'll have a fun sleepover.

43
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,148
- Gee, Mom, I don't know.
- Well, why not?

44
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:33,359
Are you afraid one night with me
will irreparably damage him?

45
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,234
- Yeah.
- A little.

46
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,554
Excuse me. I didn't hear any complaints
when I was raising you two.

47
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:48,878
The teenage drinking and constant
running away wasn't a slight tip-off?

48
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,789
Oh, you were just
a little drama queen, Charlie.

49
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,110
And let's not forget,
you always came back.

50
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,357
Kind of hard to find steady work
when you're 9.

51
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,120
Whatever. My place, 6-ish.

52
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:13,078
Judith! I can't just leave him with you
without discussing it with his mother.

53
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,477
Are you telling me you need to get
your ex-wife's approval...

54
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,438
...to let your own son spend time
with your own mother?

55
00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,198
He had a really bad lawyer.

56
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,036
You know what your problem is, Alan.
You let women walk all over you.

57
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,270
You get that from your father.

58
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,713
Well, nevertheless,
I still have to clear it with Judith.

59
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,115
- Well, fine, call her.
- Right now?

60
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,758
Well, why not?
Unless you'd rather I make the call.

61
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:56,755
Probably not home. I'll just...
I'll leave a message.

62
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,156
Yeah. Hi, Judith.

63
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,788
Listen, it's Alan.
Call me back when you get a chance.

64
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:15,912
Hello? Oh, hi, Judith,
you old call-screener, you.

65
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,715
Listen, I just wanted
to run something past you.

66
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,629
Jake was telling my mom about
the fun time he had with your parents...

67
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,916
...and she thought that...

68
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,159
What do you mean, "no"?
I haven't even asked yet.

69
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,190
Oh, really?
Well, I've got news for you, lady.

70
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,510
You can't say no,
she's his grandmother.

71
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,030
Well, she may be that too...

72
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,636
...but she's still his grandmother
and this is my weekend with him.

73
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,191
Charlie and I turned out fine.

74
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,470
We did too.

75
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,189
Look, he's going, and that's that.

76
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,679
All right then, goodbye.

77
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,716
- It's settled. He'll be there at 6.
- Thank you.

78
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,310
Of course, it is rather short notice.

79
00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:00,354
- Mom!
- Okay. Fine.

80
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,829
But don't get used to this.

81
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,350
I'm not your full-time babysitter.

82
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,917
I played that wrong, didn't I?

83
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:15,197
No, no. You called mom's bluff
and you stood up to your ex-wife.

84
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,669
You maintained your self-respect,
I'm proud of you.

85
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,674
- Yeah, but what about Jake?
- Oh, Jake.

86
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,671
Jake's screwed.

87
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:30,278
This has been the greatest day of
my life. Movies, laser tag, video arcade.

88
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,318
Well, that's good.
I wanted today to be special.

89
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:37,991
- How come?
- Just because I love you.

90
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,792
I love you too, Dad.

91
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,474
You know how people say
you can't buy love?

92
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,232
I think they're wrong.

93
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,358
You hold on to that sentiment.

94
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,313
What's the plan for tonight?
Is it gonna be special too?

95
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,556
Oh, God, I can't watch this.

96
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,554
- What?
- Nothing.

97
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,631
Oh, hey, here's $20.

98
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,679
Wow, thanks.

99
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:06,237
- You're spending tonight at Grandma's.
- Great. Wait, what?

100
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,519
You're gonna have lots of fun.

101
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,274
- Right, Charlie?
- This is the first I'm hearing of it.

102
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,600
I don't want to go to Grandma's.
Here, take your money.

103
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,671
Come on, buddy.
She loves you very much.

104
00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:20,319
And it's just for one night.

105
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,638
But we were having so much fun.

106
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,957
Think it through, Jake.
Why were you having so much fun?

107
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,313
- You tricked me.
- Attaboy.

108
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:33,996
What did I ever do to you?

109
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,078
It's not a punishment.

110
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,032
It's not a prize.

111
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,194
- I'm calling Mom.
- No. No, no calling Mom.

112
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,755
I know my rights. I get one phone call.

113
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:49,196
- I've already told your mother.
- She agreed?

114
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,916
She knows about it.

115
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,355
Uncle Charlie,
can you get me out of this?

116
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:57,910
It depends. Are you willing to live
in Mexico for a few years?

117
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:03,111
Jake, please. Do it as a favor
to your grandmother, who loves you.

118
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,073
For me. For Uncle Charlie.

119
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:08,556
But most of all, for me.

120
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,392
What do I get?

121
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,673
What do you mean?
I spent a fortune on you today.

122
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,838
That was because you love me.
Now you need me.

123
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,038
Oh, God, this is a great kid.

124
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,359
Okay. What do you want?

125
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,120
A motorized Razor scooter,
the new Dragon Ball Z game...

126
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,590
...an iPod mini
and not to go to Grandma's.

127
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,550
- I'll give you three out of four.
- Okay.

128
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,790
Forget the iPod.

129
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:42,636
- This is the worst day of my life.
- Come on.

130
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,912
You're gonna eat your dinner,
watch some videos, play some games...

131
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:49,595
...and you're gonna go to bed and
we'll pick you up tomorrow. Promise.

132
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,712
Your word means nothing to me.

133
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,911
Hey, give your dad a break.
So he lied.

134
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:59,750
You don't get the virgin to the volcano
by telling her you're gonna push her in.

135
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,079
- Can't we just go home?
- No. Now, enough of this.

136
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,789
- I am the adult and you are the child.
- And this is the volcano.

137
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,197
Now, you're gonna go in there
and you're gonna have a nice evening.

138
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,669
- Do we understand each other?
- Yes.

139
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,914
Thank you. Now, ring the bell.

140
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:26,150
So exactly what time are you...? Hey!

141
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,674
We've done a terrible thing.

142
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:42,913
Yeah. If only there was a magical liquid
that could erase bad memories.

143
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,111
I am absolutely racked with guilt.

144
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,838
Alan, don't beat yourself up.

145
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:55,120
You're a good dad who, in a moment
of weakness, betrayed his only son.

146
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,512
Come on, he's not in any real danger.

147
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,711
Not physically,
but you know as well I do...

148
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:04,237
...that Mom has the ability
to say things that stick with you.

149
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:07,638
Yeah, forever and ever.

150
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,951
My favorite was, " They must have
mixed you up with another baby...

151
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,317
...because I could never have given birth
to such a hateful child."

152
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,474
Who writes that on
a fifth-grader's birthday card?

153
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,152
How about, " It's no wonder
your father stays at work.

154
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,834
If I could get out of here,
I would too."

155
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:28,032
Did I ever tell you about the time
I wrote my first jingle?

156
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,349
Pepsi. I invited Mom over to watch
the prime-time network debut.

157
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,635
For 30 seconds, 20 million people
were listening to my music.

158
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,756
And at the end,
Mom turned to me and said:

159
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,036
"You couldn't get Coke to hire you?"

160
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,751
- Nice. But I can top it.
- Go.

161
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,434
It's the day of my wedding.
She's sitting there crying.

162
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,477
And I think it's because she's happy.

163
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,473
Turns out it was because she was,
and I quote:

164
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:55,838
"So relieved you finally found
someone who could love you."

165
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,357
- We gotta go get Jake.
- You're right. Come on.

166
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,272
Great game, ladies.

167
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:09,954
- He'll be fine.
- Who?

168
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,156
- Jake.
- Oh, yeah. He'll be fine.

169
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:13,713
- Who?
- Jake.

170
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,552
He'll be fine.

171
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,472
I thought we'd eat Japanese-style.

172
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,879
Good Lord, are you picking your nose?

173
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,593
I had to. There was stuff in it.

174
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,995
And where were you planning
to put it?

175
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,873
I really didn't have a plan.

176
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,948
Don't you dare wipe that
on my furniture.

177
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:44,391
And not on your clothes either.

178
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,277
- What are you doing now?
- Putting it back.

179
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,752
Here, just wipe your hands.

180
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,753
- Why?
- Because we're going to eat dinner.

181
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,434
And you've been rooting around
in your nostril.

182
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,234
It's okay. I don't eat with my hands.
I use a fork.

183
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,552
- Wipe your hands.
- Okay.

184
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,837
Thank you.

185
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,914
Has your mother or father
ever taken you out for sushi?

186
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,832
No. I don't like raw fish.

187
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,798
- Well, have you ever had it?
- No.

188
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,552
How do you know you don't like it?

189
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,230
It's an educated guess.

190
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:23,159
Well, why don't you just try it.

191
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,232
Let's start with the tuna, shall we?
There you go.

192
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,799
That's not tuna.

193
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,549
Oh, yes, it is.

194
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,876
I've had tuna.

195
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,110
Jake, it's tuna.

196
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,510
Now, why don't you just take
a little bite. Here.

197
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,678
Dip it in the soy sauce first.

198
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,269
There you go. Have a bite.

199
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,320
You know, there's a girl at school,
Elizabeth Kurzner...

200
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,040
...and her mom ate a bunch of sushi,
and it had worms.

201
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,668
And they grew in her
and crawled out of her eyes.

202
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,718
- Oh, no, they didn't.
- How do you know?

203
00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:00,879
- Just take a little bite.
- Okay.

204
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:07,833
- Jake!
- It's gross. It tastes like worms.

205
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,309
Jake, stop spitting on my rug.

206
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,199
- Where do you want me to spit?
- Don't spit at all.

207
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,476
- I gotta get the taste out.
- Have some ginger.

208
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,396
- No, Jake, that's wasabi.
- What?

209
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:21,915
Are you trying to kill me?

210
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,111
No, Jake, don't.
That's an expensive pillow.

211
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,396
Let... Give me that!

212
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,157
Okay, here.

213
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:36,954
I've just gotta ask.

214
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:41,557
Playing volleyball on the beach every day,
don't you worry about melanoma?

215
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,435
Alan, walk with me.

216
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,831
Be right back.

217
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,715
- What?
- Listen closely:

218
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:54,670
No man has ever gotten into a woman's
pants chitchatting about skin cancer.

219
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,075
You can't possibly know that.

220
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,598
Nevertheless.

221
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,709
Let's steer the conversation away
from tumors, okay?

222
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:13,153
- Okay. So which one do you like?
- One?

223
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:19,348
God, in his infinite wisdom, has given us
a big box of assorted chocolates...

224
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,715
...and you're just gonna try one?

225
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,839
So are you thinking, like, two?

226
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,474
I was thinking, like, nine.

227
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,235
- But we'll see what happens.
- You're not serious.

228
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:33,599
His will be done.

229
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,039
What else do we have to eat?

230
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,357
You mean other than the $50 worth
of sushi in my carpet?

231
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,312
Yeah.

232
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,197
- I don't suppose you'd eat squab.
- No.

233
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,116
- Do you even know what it is?
- No.

234
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,239
But it sounds pretty creepy. "Squab."

235
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,749
Well, what would you eat?

236
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:02,037
Pretty much anything,
except sushi and squab.

237
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,679
Squab, squab.

238
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,910
Squab, squab, squab,
squab, squab, squab...

239
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,548
- Stop it.
- Sorry.

240
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,078
Squab.

241
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,278
Would you eat spaghetti?

242
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,277
- I love spaghetti.
- Great.

243
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,000
Would you prefer vermicelli or linguine?

244
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,472
Spaghetti.

245
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:28,070
All right. What would you like on it?

246
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:32,870
Puttanesca, Bolognese, Milanese,
olive oil with truffles?

247
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,271
How about squab?

248
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,991
I'm just kidding. Ketchup.

249
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,955
- Of course.
- And sliced-up hot dogs.

250
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,791
Unbelievable.
My grandson is a hillbilly.

251
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:54,868
You know, I'm thinking we should
move this party over to my place.

252
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,036
But we've been playing
volleyball all day.

253
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,679
We're all sweaty and sticky.

254
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,033
No problem.
<i>Mi</i> shower <i>es su</i> shower.

255
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:06,195
- What?
- I have a shower.

256
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,672
- Good. You live alone?
- Pretty much.

257
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,389
My brother stays with me and he's got
a kid, but he's at his grandmother's.

258
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,636
Oh, that is so sweet.

259
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,512
Yeah, well, we're sweet people.

260
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:23,150
I was raised by my grandma.
I called her Nana.

261
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,558
- Is that so?
- Yeah.

262
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,837
I was raised by my grandma.
I called her Nana.

263
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,752
Oh, yeah.
She was a big influence on me.

264
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,798
She raised me. I called her Nana.

265
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,471
Oh, Jake, what have we done to you?

266
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,757
Dinner, such as it is, is served.

267
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:53,276
Jake? Where are you?
Come into the dining room!

268
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,030
Squab!

269
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,277
Alan. Alan, I'm worried about the kid.

270
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,597
What kid?

271
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,752
Your kid. Our kid. I think we should
go to Mom's and get him.

272
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,117
Oh, come on, he's fine.
And it's just for one night.

273
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,750
Which, by the way, is rapidly becoming
one of the best nights of my life.

274
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,671
And grind, and grind.
And step and step and turn.

275
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,990
Alan. Alan, please.

276
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,111
Hey, if you're worried,
why don't you call.

277
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,909
And grind, and grind.
And grind and grind and grind.

278
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,839
- What's her number?
- You don't have her on speed dial?

279
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:45,555
Hey, if I can't eat it, bang it
or bet on it, it's not in my phone.

280
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,638
It's ringing.

281
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:54,072
And grind, and grind.
And I'm a lucky boy.

282
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,073
Hello? Mom?

283
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,396
I can't talk to you now, Charlie.

284
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,711
Get that out of your mouth.
Are you an animal?

285
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,113
Mom? Hello? Hello?

286
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:10,632
And grind, and grind.
And step and step and...

287
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,679
You don't understand, Charlie.

288
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,839
It was a women's volleyball team
and I could've been the volleyball.

289
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,555
- Get your priorities straight, will you?
- I've got my priorities straight.

290
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,832
I've had a kid for 11 years,
but I've never had group sex.

291
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,398
Alan, you didn't miss anything.
It's an overrated male fantasy.

292
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,558
- Really?
- No, are you kidding?

293
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,351
He'd better be scarred for life.

294
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,277
- Mom?
- Oh, hello, boys.

295
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,951
What happened? Where's Jake?

296
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,479
I sent him up to take a bath.

297
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,790
He had hot dogs
and spaghetti in his hair.

298
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,998
Why would he have hot dogs
and spaghetti in his hair?

299
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,430
Because he wouldn't eat squab.

300
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,077
Squab.

301
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,111
- What are you guys doing here?
- We wanted to see how things were.

302
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,274
- They're okay.
- See, he's fine.

303
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,749
- Let's go back to the bar.
- And take me with you.

304
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,070
- Jake?
- Yeah?

305
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,069
Did you turn the water off
in the bathtub?

306
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,270
- Say goodbye to Grandma.
- Goodbye, Grandma.

307
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,959
Night, Mom.

308
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:56,871
You realize that in one night,
he did what we couldn't do in a lifetime.

309
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,477
He broke her.

310
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,037
He chewed her up and spit her out.

311
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,356
It was a beautiful thing.

312
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,752
I'm gonna be truthful here, Alan.

313
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,639
I always thought your kid
was a little bit of a simpleton.

314
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,359
Me too.

315
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:17,189
But clearly, he is the chosen one.

316
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,394
Hey, guys, check it out.

317
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,629
Pull my finger.

318
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,313
Okay.

319
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,239
And they shall call him Jake.

320
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,831
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

321
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,991
[ENGLISH]



9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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