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Previously on Two and a Half Men...
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00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:06,104
...now come to be joined.
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Rose and Manfred...
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She's really doing it.
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00:00:09,078 --> 00:00:10,445
Rose is getting married.
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And we're clear.
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Yep. That ought to do it.
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Thanks, Freddie.
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Who moves you, Rose?
Him or me?
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I love Manny.
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Fine.
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00:00:21,260 --> 00:00:23,161
You just say the
word and I'll go.
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Time's up.
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♪ Men. ♪
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MAN
...most famous teams here at Oregon...
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Charlie, you home?
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Charlie?
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Hello?
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00:00:41,347 --> 00:00:42,413
Didn't you hear me?
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00:00:42,414 --> 00:00:44,649
Didn't you see me
trying to hide?
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00:00:45,467 --> 00:00:47,585
Cute.
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00:00:47,586 --> 00:00:49,887
Okay, how would you
feel if I said
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00:00:49,888 --> 00:00:51,839
I was moving out?
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The same way Charlie Brown feels
25
00:00:53,625 --> 00:00:55,560
when Lucy offers
to hold the football.
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Excited, but with a skepticism
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00:00:57,429 --> 00:00:59,664
borne out of countless
disappointments.
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00:01:01,183 --> 00:01:02,767
I deserve that.
29
00:01:02,768 --> 00:01:04,669
But it's different this time.
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00:01:04,670 --> 00:01:06,137
Read this.
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"A larger penis can be yours
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with a noninvasive
surgical procedure."
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No, no, no, next to it.
There.
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"Dr. Dave Ciambotti.
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00:01:16,081 --> 00:01:18,516
"Orange County's
number one chiropractor.
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00:01:18,517 --> 00:01:20,284
"Mention this ad
for a 20% discount
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00:01:20,285 --> 00:01:21,819
and a free spinebuster
key chain."
38
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:24,188
What does this have to do
with you moving out?
39
00:01:24,189 --> 00:01:25,957
I went to school
with Dave Ciambotti.
40
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In fact, we were roommates.
41
00:01:27,192 --> 00:01:29,093
Say no more.
42
00:01:29,094 --> 00:01:32,930
You're finally out of the closet
and shacking up with Dr. Dave.
43
00:01:32,931 --> 00:01:35,349
Congratulations, and
God bless you both.
44
00:01:35,350 --> 00:01:37,268
No, no!
45
00:01:37,269 --> 00:01:39,070
It's okay, Alan.
I don't judge.
46
00:01:39,071 --> 00:01:41,672
Although I'm sure
old Dave could do better.
47
00:01:41,673 --> 00:01:43,057
Will you stop?
48
00:01:43,058 --> 00:01:44,559
Okay, Dave and I
49
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,644
had the same education,
the same skills.
50
00:01:46,645 --> 00:01:48,646
We even started our practice
at the same time.
51
00:01:48,647 --> 00:01:50,715
But he does three times
the business that I do.
52
00:01:50,716 --> 00:01:51,849
You know why?
53
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,384
He offers happy endings?
54
00:01:55,187 --> 00:01:57,488
Target market advertising.
55
00:01:57,489 --> 00:01:59,523
Is that another way
of saying happy ending?
56
00:01:59,524 --> 00:02:01,192
No, no, it means
newspaper ads,
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00:02:01,193 --> 00:02:03,194
flyers, radio spots.
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00:02:03,195 --> 00:02:04,295
Since Dave
started doing it,
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his business has been
through the roof.
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00:02:05,697 --> 00:02:08,299
How much is this
going to cost me?
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00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:09,400
No, no. The question is:
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00:02:09,401 --> 00:02:11,235
how much is it
going to earn you?
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00:02:11,236 --> 00:02:13,438
I'll stick with my question.
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00:02:13,439 --> 00:02:16,924
Charlie, I am willing to let
you get in on the ground floor
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00:02:16,925 --> 00:02:18,976
of an amazing
business opportunity.
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00:02:18,977 --> 00:02:20,945
Still waiting for a number,
Alan.
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$5,000.
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00:02:22,614 --> 00:02:23,748
Five grand?!
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00:02:23,749 --> 00:02:26,083
For two, I can have you buried
in the desert
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00:02:26,084 --> 00:02:28,569
and still have three
to get myself a larger penis.
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00:02:29,621 --> 00:02:30,688
Although, to be honest,
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that would just be
gilding the lily.
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00:02:32,074 --> 00:02:34,158
Come on, Charlie,
with targeted advertising
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00:02:34,159 --> 00:02:35,960
I could double the size
of my practice.
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00:02:35,961 --> 00:02:38,830
Wow, a second patient.
76
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You're not listening.
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00:02:40,332 --> 00:02:42,867
Once the profits start
rolling in, I can move out.
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00:02:42,868 --> 00:02:45,303
And once I grow boobs,
I can start dancing
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00:02:45,304 --> 00:02:47,622
the lunch shift at
Les Girls, Girls, Girls.
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00:02:47,623 --> 00:02:49,173
I'm serious.
This is a chance
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that could completely turn
my life around.
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Did you ask Mom for the money?
Seriously?
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Nah,
I'm just grasping at straws.
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So what do you say?
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00:02:59,384 --> 00:03:02,053
Okay, fine, I'll give
you the five grand.
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Knowing full well that
I'll never see it again,
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and wishing that it was you.
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Thank you, Charlie.
Thank you so much.
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00:03:08,961 --> 00:03:10,728
You're not going
to regret this.
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You have $5,000
in your sweatpants?
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00:03:15,734 --> 00:03:17,268
I prefer to think of it
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as three hookers and
a Philly cheesesteak.
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Hang on a sec.
94
00:03:25,143 --> 00:03:27,161
Hello.
95
00:03:27,162 --> 00:03:28,279
Oh, hey, Rose.
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00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,798
Why don't I count it
while you talk?
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00:03:32,317 --> 00:03:33,851
He's gone?
98
00:03:33,852 --> 00:03:37,255
Well, great. I'll be over
in five minutes with bells on.
99
00:03:37,256 --> 00:03:39,257
No, no, no, it's just
a figure of speech.
100
00:03:39,258 --> 00:03:42,643
Sure, I suppose I could try
to find some bells.
101
00:03:42,644 --> 00:03:44,729
Okay, I'll see you soon.
102
00:03:44,730 --> 00:03:45,813
I got to run.
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00:03:45,814 --> 00:03:47,098
Her husband's
at a meeting.
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00:03:47,099 --> 00:03:48,633
Oh, Charlie, really?
The woman's trying to build
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00:03:48,634 --> 00:03:49,851
a new life with her husband,
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00:03:49,852 --> 00:03:51,135
and you're going
to go over there
107
00:03:51,136 --> 00:03:53,204
to have an affair with her?
You want this money or not?
108
00:03:53,205 --> 00:03:55,156
Give her my best.
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00:03:58,043 --> 00:04:01,312
Huh. That was easy money.
110
00:04:02,514 --> 00:04:04,115
Hi, Mom.
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00:04:04,116 --> 00:04:05,917
Do you have a minute
to hear about
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00:04:05,918 --> 00:04:07,218
an amazing business opportunity?
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00:04:09,688 --> 00:04:12,523
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
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♪ Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
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♪ Men, men, men, men,
manly men ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
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♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh... ♪
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♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
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♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
119
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♪ Ah. ♪
♪ Men. ♪
♪ Men. ♪
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♪ Two and a Half Men 8x15 ♪
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Original Air Date on February 7, 2010
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== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
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♪ Men. ♪
123
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:40,567
So it isn't really
a favor for me
124
00:04:40,568 --> 00:04:42,936
as much as it's an
opportunity for you.
125
00:04:42,937 --> 00:04:44,288
Right.
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00:04:44,289 --> 00:04:47,341
Why don't you just ask
your brother for the money?
127
00:04:47,342 --> 00:04:50,444
Well, I thought of that, but
after all he's done for me,
128
00:04:50,445 --> 00:04:52,679
I'd feel horrible
asking for a loan.
129
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,549
And after all I've done for you?
130
00:04:55,550 --> 00:04:56,783
I still feel horrible,
131
00:04:56,784 --> 00:04:59,253
but you never threaten
to smother me in my sleep.
132
00:04:59,254 --> 00:05:01,905
Not since you learned
to talk anyway.
133
00:05:01,906 --> 00:05:03,724
How much?
134
00:05:03,725 --> 00:05:06,793
Well, I'm, uh, going to take out
some ads in the Pennysaver,
135
00:05:06,794 --> 00:05:08,595
uh, and on local radio.
136
00:05:08,596 --> 00:05:09,763
Probably some circulars.
137
00:05:09,764 --> 00:05:11,832
Uh, maybe one of those
giant compressed air guys
138
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,367
with the flailing arms.
139
00:05:13,368 --> 00:05:16,420
Um, I think I'll need...
140
00:05:17,305 --> 00:05:19,139
$10,000.
141
00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:20,207
All right.
142
00:05:20,208 --> 00:05:22,509
Although I could make due...
All right?!
143
00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:23,710
You're my son.
144
00:05:23,711 --> 00:05:25,745
I should at least pretend
to believe in you.
145
00:05:25,746 --> 00:05:28,749
Wow. Uh, thank you.
146
00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:31,251
I'm putting American Cancer
Society on the memo line.
147
00:05:31,252 --> 00:05:32,753
Just ignore that.
148
00:05:32,754 --> 00:05:34,154
No problem.
149
00:05:34,155 --> 00:05:35,522
You won't be sorry.
150
00:05:35,523 --> 00:05:37,641
You're going to get your
money back plus interest.
151
00:05:37,642 --> 00:05:39,359
Of course I am.
152
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,094
Never doubted it.
153
00:05:41,095 --> 00:05:42,145
Is that for luck?
154
00:05:42,146 --> 00:05:44,648
No, just kissing it good-bye.
155
00:05:46,401 --> 00:05:48,768
♪ Men. ♪
156
00:05:48,769 --> 00:05:51,872
Ba-caw! Ba-caw!
157
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,807
What the hell was that?
158
00:05:53,808 --> 00:05:56,209
It was the all-clear
signal, silly.
159
00:05:56,210 --> 00:05:58,245
You couldn't
just say "all clear"?
160
00:05:59,047 --> 00:06:02,516
All clear! All clear!
161
00:06:02,517 --> 00:06:03,617
Much better.
162
00:06:03,618 --> 00:06:05,352
So when can I see you again?
163
00:06:05,353 --> 00:06:07,137
I don't know. I'll call you.
How about tonight?
164
00:06:07,138 --> 00:06:09,172
We'll see. Now, go.
165
00:06:09,173 --> 00:06:10,924
I love you.
166
00:06:10,925 --> 00:06:13,126
You only think you love me
because you can't have me.
167
00:06:13,127 --> 00:06:15,329
No, no, no, no. This is real.
How can I prove it to you?
168
00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:18,632
Vincent Van Gogh cut off his
ear for the woman he loved.
169
00:06:19,517 --> 00:06:21,268
Think about it.
170
00:06:22,637 --> 00:06:24,605
Would you settle
for my brother's ear?
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Bye.
172
00:06:31,379 --> 00:06:32,980
You forgot your bells.
173
00:06:32,981 --> 00:06:35,649
♪ Men. ♪
174
00:06:36,484 --> 00:06:38,285
I almost forgot--
I need 100 bucks.
175
00:06:38,286 --> 00:06:39,653
What for?
176
00:06:39,654 --> 00:06:41,021
SAT prep class.
177
00:06:41,022 --> 00:06:42,356
Oh, oh, sure.
178
00:06:42,357 --> 00:06:44,358
Glad to see you're
taking the test seriously.
179
00:06:44,359 --> 00:06:45,993
Hey, if I don't do
well on the test,
180
00:06:45,994 --> 00:06:47,594
then I can't get into
a good college.
181
00:06:47,595 --> 00:06:49,179
And if I can't get
into a good college,
182
00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:50,464
then I'll never get
into grad school.
183
00:06:50,465 --> 00:06:51,898
And if I never get
into grad school,
184
00:06:51,899 --> 00:06:53,800
what kind of future
can I look forward to?
185
00:06:55,403 --> 00:06:57,270
What's the money really for?
186
00:06:57,271 --> 00:06:59,139
Video games
and online porn.
187
00:07:01,676 --> 00:07:03,710
You were actually going to give
me the money, weren't you?
188
00:07:03,711 --> 00:07:04,978
I had a good week.
189
00:07:08,549 --> 00:07:10,016
Oh, hey, guys.
190
00:07:10,017 --> 00:07:11,535
Hey, Herb.
Hey.
191
00:07:11,536 --> 00:07:12,753
So how's it going?
192
00:07:12,754 --> 00:07:14,421
You know,
living the dream.
193
00:07:14,422 --> 00:07:15,789
Damn it, Herb!
194
00:07:15,790 --> 00:07:18,859
How many times have I told you
not to use the guest towels?!
195
00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:20,911
Hey, if I'm going to sleep
in the guest room,
196
00:07:20,912 --> 00:07:23,764
I get to use
the guest towels!
197
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,734
Yeah. I remember that dream.
198
00:07:27,735 --> 00:07:29,202
So how are things with you?
199
00:07:29,203 --> 00:07:30,404
Could not be better.
200
00:07:30,405 --> 00:07:32,406
Is that like me
living the dream?
201
00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:33,940
Oh, no, no, really.
I'm, uh...
202
00:07:33,941 --> 00:07:36,376
I'm working on a pretty
exciting business opportunity.
203
00:07:36,377 --> 00:07:38,278
Oh, no kidding.
Yeah, it's, uh...
204
00:07:38,279 --> 00:07:39,780
Well, actually, it's
something you might...
205
00:07:39,781 --> 00:07:41,782
Ah, no, never mind.
206
00:07:41,783 --> 00:07:43,517
So how's the pediatrician game?
207
00:07:43,518 --> 00:07:45,886
Like taking money
from babies.
208
00:07:45,887 --> 00:07:48,255
Come on, tell me--
what business opportunity?
209
00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:49,990
Oh, well, it's an investment
thing, but, uh...
210
00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,958
but Judith would never
let you get into it.
211
00:07:51,959 --> 00:07:53,160
And... and the fact
that my mother
212
00:07:53,161 --> 00:07:54,494
and Charlie are
already in
213
00:07:54,495 --> 00:07:56,129
would just freak
her out even more.
214
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:58,098
You mother
and brother invested?
215
00:07:58,099 --> 00:08:00,133
And you know they didn't
do that out of love.
216
00:08:00,134 --> 00:08:03,036
Yeah, they're not fond
of you at all. Hmm.
217
00:08:03,037 --> 00:08:05,272
Well, anyway, it's, uh...
it's good seeing you.
218
00:08:05,273 --> 00:08:06,807
Alan, wait.
219
00:08:06,808 --> 00:08:08,675
How much are we
talking about?
220
00:08:08,676 --> 00:08:13,480
Well, uh, my mother and Charlie
are each in for...
221
00:08:13,481 --> 00:08:15,482
$15,000.
222
00:08:15,483 --> 00:08:17,250
I can do that.
223
00:08:17,251 --> 00:08:19,586
Hang on, I'll get
my checkbook.
224
00:08:19,587 --> 00:08:21,455
Oh, and,
uh, don't tell Judith.
225
00:08:33,735 --> 00:08:37,287
The years I wasted
actually working for a living.
226
00:08:37,288 --> 00:08:39,106
Schmuck!
227
00:08:39,107 --> 00:08:41,241
♪ Men. ♪
228
00:08:42,113 --> 00:08:44,057
♪ Men. ♪
229
00:08:46,716 --> 00:08:47,850
Hey, Mr. Harper.
230
00:08:47,851 --> 00:08:49,318
Hi, Gordon. How you been?
231
00:08:49,319 --> 00:08:52,421
I'm almost 40 years old,
and I'm delivering you a pizza.
232
00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:55,991
Kind of says it all,
doesn't it?
233
00:08:55,992 --> 00:08:57,059
Pretty much.
234
00:08:57,060 --> 00:08:59,428
That'll be $23.75.
235
00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:00,896
Oh, let me get my wallet.
236
00:09:00,897 --> 00:09:02,631
Come on in.
237
00:09:04,083 --> 00:09:07,035
Hang on a sec.
238
00:09:07,036 --> 00:09:08,604
Hello.
239
00:09:08,605 --> 00:09:10,272
Oh, hey, baby.
240
00:09:10,273 --> 00:09:12,674
I thought you said
Manny was at work.
241
00:09:12,675 --> 00:09:14,710
I thought this was
our time together.
242
00:09:14,711 --> 00:09:18,981
All right, fine.
Just call me when you can.
243
00:09:18,982 --> 00:09:20,616
Damn.
244
00:09:20,617 --> 00:09:22,150
Everything okay, Mr. Harper?
245
00:09:22,151 --> 00:09:24,086
My date just canceled.
246
00:09:24,087 --> 00:09:26,655
Can't the service send over
another girl?
247
00:09:29,142 --> 00:09:30,776
Not a girl like this one.
248
00:09:30,777 --> 00:09:32,978
This is the girl
I plan to spend
249
00:09:32,979 --> 00:09:34,463
the rest of
my life with.
250
00:09:34,464 --> 00:09:37,266
Probably regretting getting
the large, then, huh?
251
00:09:37,267 --> 00:09:40,986
You want to join me?
Do I have to give back the tip?
252
00:09:40,987 --> 00:09:42,070
Nah, come on in.
253
00:09:42,071 --> 00:09:44,573
So who's the woman?
254
00:09:44,574 --> 00:09:46,508
Remember Rose?
My Rose?
255
00:09:46,509 --> 00:09:47,709
Your Rose?
256
00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:49,645
Yeah, we dated for a while.
257
00:09:49,646 --> 00:09:51,146
Uh, no offense,
Gordon, but...
258
00:09:51,147 --> 00:09:54,633
I think she was only going out
with you to make me jealous.
259
00:09:54,634 --> 00:09:57,169
In fact, that's the only reason
she ever went out with anybody.
260
00:09:57,170 --> 00:09:58,487
I don't know, Mr. Harper.
261
00:09:58,488 --> 00:10:00,455
I really think there was
something special between us.
262
00:10:00,456 --> 00:10:02,357
She was always getting me
little love gifts.
263
00:10:02,358 --> 00:10:04,526
Cargo shorts, bowling shirts,
20-year-old scotch...
264
00:10:07,063 --> 00:10:09,431
Yeah, I remember Rose.
265
00:10:09,432 --> 00:10:12,000
So you guys are going out?
266
00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:14,152
I wouldn't exactly
call it going out.
267
00:10:14,153 --> 00:10:15,304
She's kind of married.
268
00:10:15,305 --> 00:10:17,940
Wow. Rose got married.
269
00:10:17,941 --> 00:10:19,608
Yep.
270
00:10:19,609 --> 00:10:22,143
To some clown
named Manny Quinn.
271
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,514
Is he really a clown?
272
00:10:26,716 --> 00:10:28,951
I have to ask,
'cause it's Rose.
273
00:10:28,952 --> 00:10:32,220
No, no. He's in the fashion
industry or something.
274
00:10:32,221 --> 00:10:34,022
Wow. So Rose is married
275
00:10:34,023 --> 00:10:36,224
and cheating
on her husband with you?
276
00:10:36,225 --> 00:10:37,459
Yep.
277
00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:39,361
God, I love your life!
278
00:10:39,362 --> 00:10:42,214
Well, thanks, but it's...
279
00:10:42,215 --> 00:10:44,366
it's really not as
fun as it looks.
280
00:10:44,367 --> 00:10:46,568
Really?
I'm kidding.
281
00:10:46,569 --> 00:10:48,136
Cheers.
282
00:10:48,137 --> 00:10:50,772
To me.
283
00:10:50,773 --> 00:10:53,175
♪ Men. ♪
284
00:10:53,176 --> 00:10:55,444
Hey, Rose.
It's Charlie again.
285
00:10:55,445 --> 00:10:56,945
I don't know if you got my text.
286
00:10:56,946 --> 00:10:59,514
I just wanted to tell you
that I was thinking about you
287
00:10:59,515 --> 00:11:00,949
and I can't wait to see you.
288
00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:02,584
You know, when you can.
289
00:11:02,585 --> 00:11:04,086
Love you.
290
00:11:04,087 --> 00:11:05,904
Really, I do.
291
00:11:05,905 --> 00:11:07,689
Hey, Charlie?
292
00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:08,757
Yeah?
293
00:11:08,758 --> 00:11:10,859
When did you
become a bitch?
294
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:11,827
What are you talking about?
295
00:11:11,828 --> 00:11:13,328
I was just leaving her
a message.
296
00:11:13,329 --> 00:11:14,930
The girl is married.
297
00:11:14,931 --> 00:11:16,565
Leave her alone.
298
00:11:16,566 --> 00:11:17,666
I can't.
299
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:19,067
I love her. I need her.
300
00:11:19,068 --> 00:11:21,203
Bitch.
301
00:11:22,572 --> 00:11:24,573
Oh, hey.
302
00:11:24,574 --> 00:11:25,907
You been shopping?
303
00:11:25,908 --> 00:11:28,010
Little bit.
304
00:11:28,011 --> 00:11:29,177
A little bit?
305
00:11:29,178 --> 00:11:33,015
Oh, you know, a few pairs
of socks, a new belt.
306
00:11:34,717 --> 00:11:38,120
Couple of Dolce & Gabbana suits,
Gucci loafers and a Rolex.
307
00:11:39,055 --> 00:11:40,155
Wow.
308
00:11:40,156 --> 00:11:41,390
Business must be picking up.
309
00:11:41,391 --> 00:11:43,408
Uh, it is.
310
00:11:43,409 --> 00:11:45,894
But I take it not enough
to pay back your investor.
311
00:11:45,895 --> 00:11:47,395
Oh. Oh, no.
312
00:11:47,396 --> 00:11:51,133
I-I... I fully intend
to pay you back.
313
00:11:53,469 --> 00:11:55,954
In fact...
314
00:11:55,955 --> 00:11:57,956
here...
315
00:11:57,957 --> 00:12:00,375
is your initial investment.
316
00:12:01,611 --> 00:12:03,245
$5,000.
317
00:12:03,246 --> 00:12:05,113
And here
318
00:12:05,114 --> 00:12:09,101
is an additional... $1,000
319
00:12:09,102 --> 00:12:10,886
in interest.
320
00:12:10,887 --> 00:12:12,654
Berta, are you seeing this?
321
00:12:13,823 --> 00:12:15,090
Am I dreaming?
322
00:12:15,091 --> 00:12:18,693
You got the Kardashian sisters
under the table?
323
00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:21,797
Nope.
324
00:12:21,798 --> 00:12:23,565
Then, you're not dreaming.
325
00:12:23,566 --> 00:12:25,734
Thank you very much
for your confidence in me.
326
00:12:25,735 --> 00:12:29,071
Hey, it's still confidence
if I'm figuring you'll fail.
327
00:12:29,072 --> 00:12:31,289
I told you advertising
would drive in customers,
328
00:12:31,290 --> 00:12:32,641
and I was right.
329
00:12:32,642 --> 00:12:33,942
Hang on a sec.
330
00:12:33,943 --> 00:12:35,844
What?
331
00:12:35,845 --> 00:12:39,681
Do you think more advertising
would drive in more customers?
332
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:42,684
I don't see why not.
333
00:12:42,685 --> 00:12:46,288
Of course, the ads would have
to reach a larger audience,
334
00:12:46,289 --> 00:12:51,193
and that would cost,
you know, more money.
335
00:12:51,194 --> 00:12:52,761
Tell you what.
336
00:12:52,762 --> 00:12:54,129
Let it ride.
337
00:12:54,130 --> 00:12:55,263
Really?
338
00:12:55,264 --> 00:12:57,265
Hey, a 20% return
in a couple of weeks?
339
00:12:57,266 --> 00:12:58,567
Come on.
340
00:12:58,568 --> 00:13:01,520
In fact, here is another four.
341
00:13:01,521 --> 00:13:02,637
Hold on.
342
00:13:02,638 --> 00:13:04,840
Think I have more upstairs.
343
00:13:04,841 --> 00:13:08,309
Oh, look in the back
of your underwear drawer.
344
00:13:09,645 --> 00:13:11,513
I needed underwear.
345
00:13:11,514 --> 00:13:13,615
You borrowed
your brother's skivvies?
346
00:13:13,616 --> 00:13:14,983
That's disgusting.
347
00:13:14,984 --> 00:13:16,785
I agree. That's why,
when I found the money,
348
00:13:16,786 --> 00:13:19,187
I took $100
to buy some new ones.
349
00:13:20,006 --> 00:13:21,289
So listen.
350
00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:24,559
Can anybody get in on
this deal of yours?
351
00:13:27,964 --> 00:13:29,598
Excuse me?
352
00:13:29,599 --> 00:13:32,100
I'm always looking
for smart investments.
353
00:13:32,101 --> 00:13:35,103
And I've got some extra cash
that's a result
354
00:13:35,104 --> 00:13:39,341
of a little hydroponic
farming venture in Chino.
355
00:13:39,342 --> 00:13:40,876
What are you farming?
356
00:13:40,877 --> 00:13:43,278
Alfalfa. What's it to you?
357
00:13:43,279 --> 00:13:44,546
Gee, I-I don't know, Berta.
358
00:13:44,547 --> 00:13:47,382
I mean, you realize
there's no guarantees.
359
00:13:47,383 --> 00:13:50,085
You'd actually
be doing me a favor.
360
00:13:50,086 --> 00:13:54,723
My bank asks a lot of questions
about my... alfalfa earnings.
361
00:13:54,724 --> 00:13:56,091
All right, fine.
362
00:13:56,092 --> 00:13:57,659
How much do you want to invest?
363
00:13:57,660 --> 00:13:58,760
Ten grand.
364
00:13:58,761 --> 00:13:59,861
Great.
365
00:13:59,862 --> 00:14:01,429
Uh, when can you get it to me?
366
00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:04,032
As soon as I come back
from the bathroom.
367
00:14:07,436 --> 00:14:10,172
Boy, I hope she means
it's behind the toilet.
368
00:14:11,174 --> 00:14:13,508
♪ Men. ♪
369
00:14:15,344 --> 00:14:16,778
Who is it?
370
00:14:16,779 --> 00:14:18,013
Pizza.
371
00:14:18,014 --> 00:14:20,582
Door's open.
I'll be right down.
372
00:14:29,859 --> 00:14:32,194
Hello.
373
00:14:35,398 --> 00:14:37,566
Gordon?
Rose?
374
00:14:37,567 --> 00:14:40,068
Oh, my gosh.
It's been so long.
375
00:14:40,069 --> 00:14:41,203
Yeah.
376
00:14:41,204 --> 00:14:42,254
How are you doing?
377
00:14:42,255 --> 00:14:43,338
Just great.
378
00:14:43,339 --> 00:14:45,640
Got a new shirt
with my name on it.
379
00:14:45,641 --> 00:14:48,076
Lighted sign
for the roof of my car.
380
00:14:48,077 --> 00:14:49,261
How nice.
Yeah.
381
00:14:49,262 --> 00:14:50,579
How about you?
I heard you got married.
382
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:52,948
Yes. I am now
Mrs. Manfred Quinn.
383
00:14:52,949 --> 00:14:54,432
Wow. Congrats.
384
00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:55,817
Thank you.
Yeah.
385
00:14:55,818 --> 00:14:57,352
So...
386
00:14:57,353 --> 00:14:58,620
That'll be $23.75.
387
00:14:58,621 --> 00:15:00,155
Let me just get my purse.
388
00:15:03,192 --> 00:15:05,944
Mrs. Manfred Quinn.
389
00:15:07,029 --> 00:15:09,231
Manny Quinn.
390
00:15:11,033 --> 00:15:13,235
Manny Quinn.
391
00:15:15,471 --> 00:15:17,672
Holy crap, this is great.
392
00:15:19,008 --> 00:15:21,459
♪ Men. ♪
393
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:23,128
It's real, Mom.
394
00:15:23,129 --> 00:15:25,614
You understand my skepticism.
395
00:15:25,615 --> 00:15:26,648
Sure.
396
00:15:26,649 --> 00:15:28,750
And this is $12,000?
397
00:15:28,751 --> 00:15:31,452
Yep. The $10,000 you gave me,
plus your profit.
398
00:15:31,453 --> 00:15:32,887
I don't know what to say.
399
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:35,190
How about, "I'm proud
of you, Alan. Well done."
400
00:15:35,191 --> 00:15:37,425
I'm proud of you, Alan.
Well done.
401
00:15:37,426 --> 00:15:39,561
"I knew you had it in you.
Attaboy."
402
00:15:39,562 --> 00:15:41,463
Let's not push it.
403
00:15:41,464 --> 00:15:43,148
Okay. Well, uh, again,
404
00:15:43,149 --> 00:15:45,517
thank you for helping me
get my business going.
405
00:15:45,518 --> 00:15:47,435
I'll see you.
406
00:15:47,436 --> 00:15:49,637
Hold on.
407
00:15:51,991 --> 00:15:53,642
Yes?
408
00:15:53,643 --> 00:15:56,044
Since you seem
to be on a roll,
409
00:15:56,045 --> 00:15:59,481
what would happen if I didn't
take my investment out?
410
00:16:00,349 --> 00:16:02,650
And maybe threw in another eight
411
00:16:02,651 --> 00:16:04,886
to make it an even $20,000?
412
00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:08,823
$20,000 is a lot of money.
413
00:16:08,824 --> 00:16:11,860
And, as you're aware,
all investments carry risk.
414
00:16:11,861 --> 00:16:14,195
Darling, if you cut me out
of this, I'll kill you.
415
00:16:14,196 --> 00:16:15,964
What can I say? You're in.
416
00:16:17,466 --> 00:16:19,367
Uh, Alan has one "L."
417
00:16:20,186 --> 00:16:21,503
Oh.
418
00:16:23,172 --> 00:16:24,939
♪ Men. ♪
419
00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:28,193
Hey, Mr. Harper.
420
00:16:28,194 --> 00:16:29,511
Hey, Gordon.
421
00:16:29,512 --> 00:16:31,646
$23.75?
You got it.
422
00:16:31,647 --> 00:16:34,399
Hey, I delivered a pizza
to Rose the other day.
423
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,583
Oh, yeah?
424
00:16:35,584 --> 00:16:36,751
Did you meet her husband?
425
00:16:36,752 --> 00:16:38,753
You mean Manny?
426
00:16:38,754 --> 00:16:40,388
Yeah.
427
00:16:40,389 --> 00:16:42,223
I take it you haven't.
428
00:16:42,224 --> 00:16:45,493
Well, no, for obvious reasons.
429
00:16:45,494 --> 00:16:47,162
What kind of guy is he?
430
00:16:47,163 --> 00:16:49,331
He's quiet.
431
00:16:51,701 --> 00:16:54,169
A little stiff.
432
00:16:54,170 --> 00:16:56,638
What did you say he did
for a living?
433
00:16:56,639 --> 00:16:58,373
Uh, he's some kind
of important figure
434
00:16:58,374 --> 00:16:59,474
in the fashion industry.
435
00:16:59,475 --> 00:17:01,976
Right. Right.
436
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:03,745
So Manny Quinn--
437
00:17:03,746 --> 00:17:06,314
an important figure
in the fashion industry.
438
00:17:06,315 --> 00:17:07,916
Right.
439
00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:09,584
Here's $30. Keep the change.
440
00:17:09,585 --> 00:17:10,985
Thanks.
441
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:13,121
Manny Quinn, Mr. Harper.
442
00:17:13,122 --> 00:17:15,256
Fashion figure.
443
00:17:15,257 --> 00:17:16,725
That's what I said.
444
00:17:16,726 --> 00:17:20,795
Manny... Quinn... figure.
445
00:17:20,796 --> 00:17:21,963
Uh-huh.
446
00:17:21,964 --> 00:17:23,965
Manny Quinn!
447
00:17:24,934 --> 00:17:27,001
What the hell is
wrong with you?
448
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:29,087
Nothing. Good night.
449
00:17:29,088 --> 00:17:31,072
Good night.
450
00:17:32,408 --> 00:17:34,342
He's got the beach house
and I'm delivering pizzas.
451
00:17:34,343 --> 00:17:36,211
Un-freaking-believable!
452
00:17:36,212 --> 00:17:38,246
♪ Men. ♪
453
00:17:40,683 --> 00:17:42,183
How dare you.
454
00:17:42,184 --> 00:17:43,585
Nice to see you, too.
455
00:17:43,586 --> 00:17:45,453
You go behind my back
and talk my husband
456
00:17:45,454 --> 00:17:47,389
into giving you some kind
of business loan?
457
00:17:47,390 --> 00:17:49,057
Herb told you?
Of course, Herb told me.
458
00:17:49,058 --> 00:17:50,191
We love each other.
459
00:17:50,192 --> 00:17:51,526
We love each
other so much,
460
00:17:51,527 --> 00:17:53,628
she went
through my checkbook.
461
00:17:54,947 --> 00:17:56,231
Not to worry.
462
00:17:56,232 --> 00:17:58,199
I am very pleased
to announce
463
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,602
that your investment
has paid off.
464
00:18:02,571 --> 00:18:05,006
That's your
original $15,000,
465
00:18:05,007 --> 00:18:07,675
plus 20% interest.
466
00:18:07,676 --> 00:18:09,511
Wow.
467
00:18:09,512 --> 00:18:10,678
You're welcome.
468
00:18:10,679 --> 00:18:11,913
Oh, can...
can I see?
469
00:18:11,914 --> 00:18:14,082
Alan, wait.
470
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:17,819
Yeah?
471
00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:19,854
What if we don't want
to cash out?
472
00:18:19,855 --> 00:18:22,424
Whatever do you mean?
473
00:18:22,425 --> 00:18:23,658
Reinvest this and add in
474
00:18:23,659 --> 00:18:25,560
the next six months
of your child support.
475
00:18:25,561 --> 00:18:27,595
Hold on, now. That money's
supposed to be for Jake.
476
00:18:27,596 --> 00:18:28,730
Oh, don't be so naive.
477
00:18:28,731 --> 00:18:30,181
You want it or not?
478
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,485
Sure, if you insist.
479
00:18:33,486 --> 00:18:35,470
Well, see you.
480
00:18:35,471 --> 00:18:37,489
Bye.
481
00:18:40,176 --> 00:18:43,178
I'm thinking somebody
owes somebody an apology.
482
00:18:44,814 --> 00:18:46,664
I'm sorry.
483
00:18:46,665 --> 00:18:48,817
♪ Men. ♪
484
00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:52,072
♪ Men. ♪
485
00:18:53,114 --> 00:18:54,681
Unbelievable!
486
00:18:54,682 --> 00:18:58,118
You ask for money,
and they just give it to you.
487
00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,853
And then you take the new money
488
00:18:59,854 --> 00:19:02,906
and use it to pay back
some of the old money.
489
00:19:02,907 --> 00:19:04,408
But they don't want it back.
490
00:19:04,409 --> 00:19:06,493
And they give you more.
491
00:19:06,494 --> 00:19:07,961
'Cause they're greedy.
492
00:19:07,962 --> 00:19:10,898
Greedy, greedy, greedy, greedy.
493
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:14,551
Oh, God, what have I done?
494
00:19:14,552 --> 00:19:16,553
ALAN'S VOICE:
Oh, quit your whining.
495
00:19:17,572 --> 00:19:19,206
Who said that?
496
00:19:19,207 --> 00:19:21,541
Over here.
497
00:19:24,612 --> 00:19:25,846
Hi.
498
00:19:25,847 --> 00:19:27,147
How you doing?
499
00:19:27,148 --> 00:19:29,149
Not so good.
500
00:19:33,688 --> 00:19:35,856
Feeling better?
501
00:19:37,025 --> 00:19:39,076
This isn't happening.
502
00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,727
I'm losing my mind.
503
00:19:40,728 --> 00:19:42,162
Your mind is fine.
504
00:19:42,163 --> 00:19:45,099
What you should be worried about
is losing your hair.
505
00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:49,036
Now, do yourself a favor
and stop with the guilt.
506
00:19:49,037 --> 00:19:50,170
How?
507
00:19:50,171 --> 00:19:51,338
I'm betraying my friends.
508
00:19:51,339 --> 00:19:52,840
I'm betraying my family.
509
00:19:52,841 --> 00:19:54,708
Feels good, doesn't it?
510
00:19:54,709 --> 00:19:56,576
Yes. No!
511
00:19:56,577 --> 00:19:58,846
I'm... well, I'm not sure.
512
00:19:58,847 --> 00:20:01,448
Oh, come on. You've spent
your whole life being a doormat.
513
00:20:01,449 --> 00:20:04,101
This is your chance
to finally get what you deserve.
514
00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:05,452
But what about the guilt?
515
00:20:05,453 --> 00:20:06,887
The hell with the guilt.
516
00:20:06,888 --> 00:20:08,922
Let's be bad guys.
517
00:20:08,923 --> 00:20:10,891
Bad guys?
518
00:20:10,892 --> 00:20:12,759
It's time for a change,
don't you think?
519
00:20:13,928 --> 00:20:16,730
Could we grow a mustache?
520
00:20:16,731 --> 00:20:19,500
I've always wanted a mustache.
521
00:20:19,501 --> 00:20:22,035
We're going to grow balls.
522
00:20:22,036 --> 00:20:24,338
Oh, good.
523
00:20:24,339 --> 00:20:26,957
I've always wanted those, too.
524
00:20:28,409 --> 00:20:30,160
♪ Men. ♪
525
00:20:30,161 --> 00:20:32,045
See you.
526
00:20:32,046 --> 00:20:33,847
Where you going?
Out.
527
00:20:33,848 --> 00:20:35,182
Out?
528
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,651
Yeah. Out.
529
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:45,392
You got a problem with that?
530
00:20:46,694 --> 00:20:48,695
No. Not at all.
531
00:20:48,696 --> 00:20:50,797
All right, then.
532
00:20:53,801 --> 00:20:58,305
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
533
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