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Previously on
Two and a Half Men:
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- Hi.
I-I'm sorry.
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00:00:03,250 --> 00:00:04,699
I didn't catch your name.
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This is Jeff.
Jeff Strongman.
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In return for
6
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51% of your company
7
00:00:12,726 --> 00:00:14,226
I will back your project.
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00:00:14,428 --> 00:00:16,577
I will sell you
a minority share,
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if you agree to work
as my product engineer.
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You changed my code.
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I made it better.
You're fired.
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We're done. I don't
work with you anymore.
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That's what
"you're fired" means.
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00:00:25,555 --> 00:00:27,555
So, this isn't
a bad idea anymore.
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♪ Men. ♪
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Oh. Hey, Jenny.
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00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,316
Oh. Do you have
plans for tonight?
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You-You want to see a movie?
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00:00:39,536 --> 00:00:42,287
Uh, no. My girlfriend and I
are actually making one.
20
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It's like The Hunger Games,
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00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:46,758
but we're not going
to be eating food.
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Oh. Hey, Walden.
Uh, want to go see a movie?
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00:00:50,831 --> 00:00:52,647
I got a buy one,
get one free coupon.
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00:00:52,649 --> 00:00:55,500
No, I'm not falling
for that again.
25
00:00:57,303 --> 00:00:58,753
And, besides, I can't.
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00:00:58,755 --> 00:01:00,372
I'm gonna go see Nicole...
27
00:01:00,374 --> 00:01:03,224
Are you? Or are you gonna say
you're gonna go see Nicole?
28
00:01:03,226 --> 00:01:05,210
And, we say,
that's a good idea.
29
00:01:05,212 --> 00:01:07,262
But, then, you're gonna
talk about it a little more,
30
00:01:07,264 --> 00:01:08,980
and decide, maybe
it's not a good idea.
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00:01:08,982 --> 00:01:11,016
And we say that's fine.
Whatever you want.
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00:01:11,018 --> 00:01:14,035
And then you come up to us
15 minutes later and say,
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"I'm gonna go see Nicole."
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Maybe it's not a good idea.
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00:01:17,691 --> 00:01:19,357
Come on, just grow a pair.
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00:01:19,359 --> 00:01:22,694
Or strap on a pair from
my drawer and talk to her.
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00:01:23,696 --> 00:01:25,663
Or you could go
to a movie with me.
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00:01:25,665 --> 00:01:26,981
I'm gonna go see Nicole.
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00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:30,268
Hey, Berta,
want to go to the movies?
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00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:32,303
Sounds good. See you later.
41
00:01:32,305 --> 00:01:35,290
♪ Men. ♪
42
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Can I get
my free refill, please?
43
00:01:36,843 --> 00:01:38,710
Sorry, sir.
That offer only applies
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00:01:38,712 --> 00:01:39,928
on the day of purchase.
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I know. I, uh,
I purchased it today. So...
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This is a Finding Nemo cup.
47
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And you found him.
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Uh, also there was a-a spider
in my, in my popcorn.
49
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I had to throw
the whole thing away.
50
00:01:54,510 --> 00:01:56,811
All right. All right. Well, just
tell your manager that, uh,
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00:01:56,813 --> 00:01:59,364
Alan Harper would like to speak
with him when he has a moment.
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He knows me.
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We all know you.
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Jeff!
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Jeff!
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Oh! Oh, hey!
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Larry.
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And, uh, uh...
I'm sorry, it's, um...
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Lyndsey.
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Right. Right. Of course.
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I'm-I'm terrible with names.
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It's true. Sometimes he
can't even remember his own.
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Well, I would never
forget it, Jeff Strongman.
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Are you here alone?
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Saturday night at the movies?
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Alone?
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00:02:30,713 --> 00:02:32,347
Hello, suicide hotline.
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00:02:33,315 --> 00:02:35,400
No. My date is, uh, um...
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takin' a poop.
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Is this date
something serious?
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'Cause I was actually thinking,
there's a girl in my office,
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Gwen, who would be
perfect for you.
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Honey, I-I-I'm
pretty sure, Jeff is gay.
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Nope. The only thing
straighter than me
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is my boner when I
look at naked women.
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00:02:53,370 --> 00:02:55,620
Are you sure
you're not gay?
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I'm sure.
Love the boobies.
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You know, it might be fun,
we all go on a double date.
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That would be great.
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Would it?
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00:03:02,212 --> 00:03:04,712
Does that really
sound great, Jeff?
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Alan Harper?
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I have a complimentary popcorn
and soda for Alan Harper?
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Wow.
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Free popcorn and soda.
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Bet you wish
you were Alan Harper.
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Mr. Alan Harper?
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♪ Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men ♪
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♪ Men.
♪ Ooh.
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♪ Two and a Half Men 11x12 ♪
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball
Original Air Date on January 9, 2014
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
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♪ Men. ♪
Hey, guys.
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Oh, my God.
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I knew you'd come back.
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I knew you were
not like my father.
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Aw...
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I missed you
invading my space.
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00:03:50,221 --> 00:03:52,606
Walden, hi.
99
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:53,857
What are you doing here?
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00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:56,192
Don't worry. I'm not
trying to get my job back.
101
00:03:56,194 --> 00:04:00,030
I just wanted to see if
we could get dinner together.
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00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,615
Oh! Let me check my calendar.
103
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:02,983
What day were you thinking?
104
00:04:04,018 --> 00:04:06,786
Yeah... I'm not so sure
that's a good idea.
105
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:07,787
Tuesday works for me.
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00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,039
I can skip Pilates.
107
00:04:11,492 --> 00:04:14,911
Look, are... are you mad
about me kissing you?
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00:04:14,913 --> 00:04:17,380
No. I mean, yes!
109
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:20,784
I mean, did I think about it?
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00:04:20,786 --> 00:04:23,503
Sure... but-- ye--
I think about a lot of things.
111
00:04:23,505 --> 00:04:25,472
You know, computers,
music, the weather.
112
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,841
Kissing me?
Yeah. No! No!
113
00:04:27,843 --> 00:04:29,208
Stop it.
114
00:04:30,210 --> 00:04:31,978
Okay. Wednesday,
I've got a thing,
115
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,229
but... uh...
116
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,314
you know what? I can move it.
117
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:35,548
Good-bye, Mom.
118
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:40,020
Look, even if there
were an attraction,
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there are a hundred nerds
all around the world working on
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00:04:43,391 --> 00:04:44,891
thought-recognition technology,
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and if I don't finish first,
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I'm gonna lose the last
two years of my life.
123
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,914
All I heard was,
there is an attraction.
124
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,115
You like kissing me.
125
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:54,834
And... blah, blah, blah,
two years of my life.
126
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,953
Good-bye, Walden.
127
00:04:56,955 --> 00:04:59,906
Okay. All I heard was,
you, me, pot, Jack in the Box,
128
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:01,741
blah, blah, blah,
best friends forever.
129
00:05:03,243 --> 00:05:05,679
♪ Men. ♪
130
00:05:06,464 --> 00:05:07,964
Hey.
131
00:05:07,966 --> 00:05:10,467
Oh, hey. How was the,
uh... movie?
132
00:05:10,469 --> 00:05:11,768
Fantastic.
I went out by myself,
133
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,952
and came home with a date.
134
00:05:12,954 --> 00:05:14,721
Wow. Normally you
go out with a date
135
00:05:14,723 --> 00:05:16,056
and come home by yourself.
136
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,143
Where is she?
137
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:22,562
Oh, no-no.
It's a future date.
138
00:05:22,564 --> 00:05:24,130
Future date?
139
00:05:24,132 --> 00:05:25,098
Mm-hmm.
140
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:28,068
We talking like a, uh...
sex robot?
141
00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:30,537
No, no. Lyndsey and Larry
are setting me up.
142
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,789
Although, if you do see
an ad for a sex robot,
143
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:33,773
save your money.
144
00:05:33,775 --> 00:05:35,492
They just put lipstick
on a DustBuster.
145
00:05:37,912 --> 00:05:39,362
Wa-Wa-Wa-Wait.
146
00:05:39,364 --> 00:05:42,449
It's not the same DustBuster
you got me for Christmas?
147
00:05:42,451 --> 00:05:43,950
Oh, no-no, of course not.
148
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,301
That-that would be, uh...
149
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,220
Oh, good God!
150
00:05:49,423 --> 00:05:50,557
Wait a sec.
151
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:54,127
Your ex-girlfriend
and the guy she's with,
152
00:05:54,129 --> 00:05:56,462
who she's cheating on with you,
153
00:05:56,464 --> 00:06:00,400
is getting your alter ego,
Jeff Strongman,
154
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:02,135
a date with a girl
that they know?
155
00:06:02,137 --> 00:06:05,805
Hang on, uh,
carry the whore. Yes.
156
00:06:07,141 --> 00:06:08,942
So, uh, how'd it go with you?
157
00:06:08,944 --> 00:06:12,195
Uh, well, I... went
to get a date with a girl,
158
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:15,365
got shot down, and wound up
with a date with a guy.
159
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:17,417
Been there.
160
00:06:19,471 --> 00:06:21,204
Ah, don't feel bad.
I've been shot down
161
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:23,123
more times than I can count,
and I'm still here.
162
00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:24,657
We know.
163
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,128
Are you really that stupid?
164
00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:33,216
Okay. You're talking to a guy
who stuck his penis in a vacuum.
165
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,302
What's wrong with you?
166
00:06:36,304 --> 00:06:38,688
Wait, I keep a list
on the fridge.
167
00:06:39,974 --> 00:06:42,308
Why in the world would you agree
to go on a double-date
168
00:06:42,310 --> 00:06:43,460
with me and Larry?
169
00:06:43,462 --> 00:06:44,861
Okay. You are just upset,
170
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:46,846
because you are gonna have to
watch me be with someone else,
171
00:06:46,848 --> 00:06:49,866
the same way I have to
watch you be with Larry.
172
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:52,235
This is just a taste
of your own medicine.
173
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:54,954
Jealous-in. Use as directed.
174
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:57,574
Side effects include
tears, sleepless nights,
175
00:06:57,576 --> 00:06:59,692
and possible rage masturbation.
176
00:06:59,694 --> 00:07:02,996
Number one, he's stupid.
177
00:07:04,081 --> 00:07:07,317
Number two, smells like
mushroom soup.
178
00:07:07,319 --> 00:07:12,338
Number three, he dates
that desperate chick who...
179
00:07:15,526 --> 00:07:16,760
Number four...
180
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,165
Walden?
181
00:07:22,167 --> 00:07:24,200
Hey, Bar-Bar.
Is Nicole there?
182
00:07:24,202 --> 00:07:26,970
Uh... let me see...
183
00:07:26,972 --> 00:07:28,988
I don't know what that means.
184
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,908
I do... I do not
understand what you're...
185
00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:35,245
Sorry, Walden.
She's in a-a beating.
186
00:07:35,863 --> 00:07:37,647
I think you meant meeting.
187
00:07:37,649 --> 00:07:39,466
Did I?
Did I?
188
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,252
Walden, hi.
189
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:43,837
Kinda busy. What's up?
190
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:46,405
I... have something for you.
191
00:07:46,407 --> 00:07:47,674
Hang on.
192
00:07:49,576 --> 00:07:51,377
I hate that she made me lie.
193
00:07:51,379 --> 00:07:53,129
I-I love you.
194
00:07:53,131 --> 00:07:54,380
That was weird.
195
00:07:54,382 --> 00:07:56,223
But at, but at least,
at least it wasn't a lie.
196
00:07:59,253 --> 00:08:00,753
You didn't want to
come to dinner.
197
00:08:00,755 --> 00:08:02,021
, I brought dinner to you.
198
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,541
Oh, great. I am starving.
199
00:08:04,543 --> 00:08:07,610
Oh, Barry.
It's, it's just for Nicole.
200
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,646
Is it because I lied to you?
201
00:08:09,648 --> 00:08:13,199
No. It's because I like kissing
her just a little bit more.
202
00:08:14,919 --> 00:08:16,503
This is really sweet.
203
00:08:16,505 --> 00:08:19,289
But I have so much to do.
204
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,540
Come on...
205
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:24,844
My poor housekeeper
slaved all day
206
00:08:24,846 --> 00:08:28,614
to make us
this delicious... note...
207
00:08:28,616 --> 00:08:31,501
that says,
"I don't cook. Love, Berta."
208
00:08:32,670 --> 00:08:35,839
Well-- I-I brought you
wine... and cheese...
209
00:08:35,841 --> 00:08:39,642
and... no fricking corkscrew.
210
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,145
I'll give you five minutes.
211
00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:44,647
Well, appears the music
has stopped,
212
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,816
and I am left without a chair.
213
00:08:48,270 --> 00:08:50,636
I only have six weeks to live.
214
00:08:50,638 --> 00:08:52,822
Well, okay, that's not true,
but it is my birthday.
215
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,657
It, it really is my birthday.
216
00:08:55,459 --> 00:08:57,627
Look, Walden,
217
00:08:57,629 --> 00:08:59,829
just because
I agreed to do this,
218
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,748
I don't want you
to get the wrong idea.
219
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,449
Well, it's too late.
220
00:09:03,451 --> 00:09:05,168
Once the lady accepts
the man's cheese,
221
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,453
they must marry.
222
00:09:07,455 --> 00:09:09,672
But I am
betrothed to a goatherd.
223
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,958
Is that a smile?
Are you actually having fun?
224
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,828
Uh... yes, but I really
have to get back to work.
225
00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:17,230
Let me help you.
226
00:09:17,232 --> 00:09:18,464
We tried that.
227
00:09:18,466 --> 00:09:20,466
Give him a chance...
228
00:09:21,668 --> 00:09:23,469
Barry, what did we talk about?
229
00:09:23,471 --> 00:09:25,822
Digital boundaries.
230
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,726
Am I the only one
feeling a connection here?
231
00:09:29,728 --> 00:09:31,561
Of course not.
232
00:09:31,563 --> 00:09:35,048
But, because of that,
you're gonna be a distraction.
233
00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:38,201
Well, I-I promise
to wear a conservative top.
234
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:41,571
And to tape down
all my fun parts.
235
00:09:43,157 --> 00:09:45,541
Uh... All right.
I will let you help.
236
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,044
But, until we're done,
237
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,796
it has to be all work
and no play.
238
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:52,832
Deal. But I'm--
you're gonna have to let me
239
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:54,133
tape down your fun parts.
240
00:09:56,136 --> 00:09:58,304
♪ Men. ♪
241
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,089
You got this? You ready?
242
00:10:00,091 --> 00:10:01,207
Mm-hmm.
243
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,225
One...
244
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,259
two...
245
00:10:03,261 --> 00:10:04,310
three...
246
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,511
four...
247
00:10:05,513 --> 00:10:06,596
five... cherries...!
248
00:10:06,598 --> 00:10:08,314
♪ Ta-da!
249
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,465
Wow!
250
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,017
Wow. You did that with your tongue?
Mm-hmm.
251
00:10:11,019 --> 00:10:12,652
But I-- trust me
when I tell you,
252
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,704
uh, that I am giving you
a standing ovation.
253
00:10:17,724 --> 00:10:20,910
Trust me when I tell you,
I have an erection.
254
00:10:22,029 --> 00:10:23,396
Isn't she great?
255
00:10:23,398 --> 00:10:25,281
Yeah, she's great.
256
00:10:25,283 --> 00:10:26,783
So, uh... you work with Larry?
257
00:10:26,785 --> 00:10:28,234
Do you manage musicians too?
258
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:30,119
No. I'm in talent relations.
259
00:10:30,121 --> 00:10:32,588
Basically, my job is to make
sure everyone's happy.
260
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,425
Well, job well done tonight.
I-I can't remember the last time
261
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,393
I had so much fun on a date.
262
00:10:37,395 --> 00:10:40,046
Maybe the problem's you, Jeff.
263
00:10:40,048 --> 00:10:41,464
I don't think so.
264
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:42,932
I think you're yummy.
265
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:45,990
Well, uh... I have been
using a coconut body butter.
266
00:10:46,015 --> 00:10:46,920
Oh.
267
00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:48,972
Didn't I tell you
these two would hit it off?
268
00:10:48,974 --> 00:10:50,890
Next stop, couples trip
to wine country.
269
00:10:50,892 --> 00:10:53,643
Can't wear a thong bikini
in wine country.
270
00:10:53,645 --> 00:10:55,445
Cabo, it is.
271
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,565
You should wear
a thong, sweetie.
272
00:10:59,567 --> 00:11:01,484
Another great idea.
273
00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:04,404
Oh... I just got invited to a
party in the hills tonight.
274
00:11:04,406 --> 00:11:05,321
You guys want to go?
275
00:11:05,323 --> 00:11:06,923
Yes! No!
Yes!
276
00:11:06,925 --> 00:11:09,242
Come on,
aren't you having fun?
277
00:11:09,244 --> 00:11:10,960
Look, if you don't want to go,
278
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,662
I can give the guys
a ride to the party.
279
00:11:12,664 --> 00:11:13,997
Jeff in the front...
280
00:11:13,999 --> 00:11:15,381
Larry in the rear...
281
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,300
It'll be tight but,
282
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,118
we can make it work.
283
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,553
Aw...
284
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,288
I don't think
it'd be that tight.
285
00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:26,542
Oh, I'm going to the party.
286
00:11:26,544 --> 00:11:28,402
Uh, uh, let's just
give it a minute to...
287
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:30,463
Crowd's still on its feet.
288
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:35,634
♪ Men. ♪
289
00:11:41,942 --> 00:11:43,142
Um...
290
00:11:43,977 --> 00:11:45,161
Um...
291
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,447
Wow. Uh, looks
like we're overdressed.
292
00:11:47,449 --> 00:11:49,282
I can fix that.
293
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:51,918
Gwen!
294
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,169
Yeah, come on.
295
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,370
It's a swingers' party.
296
00:11:54,372 --> 00:11:56,422
All right. Let's do this thing.
297
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,841
♪ Men. ♪
298
00:12:06,932 --> 00:12:09,766
♪ Men. ♪
299
00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:13,053
It's like
a hundred degrees in here.
300
00:12:13,055 --> 00:12:14,054
Yeah, right?
301
00:12:14,056 --> 00:12:16,373
I've got frozen
peas in my crotch.
302
00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:17,207
What?
303
00:12:17,209 --> 00:12:18,575
I got a bag of frozen peas,
304
00:12:18,577 --> 00:12:20,777
and I put 'em down my pants.
It's delightful.
305
00:12:20,779 --> 00:12:21,778
Okay. You know what?
306
00:12:21,780 --> 00:12:23,113
This is ridiculous.
307
00:12:23,115 --> 00:12:24,631
We gotta be able to
fix this radiator.
308
00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:27,517
I've got a call in,
they're coming out tomorrow.
309
00:12:27,519 --> 00:12:29,686
Tomorrow?
310
00:12:29,688 --> 00:12:30,904
Come on!
311
00:12:30,906 --> 00:12:33,707
We got three geniuses here.
312
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:34,658
Yeah, and one of 'em
313
00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:36,192
has frozen peas
in his underwear.
314
00:12:37,878 --> 00:12:39,913
What underwear?
315
00:12:39,915 --> 00:12:41,965
Still, we can make this work.
316
00:12:41,967 --> 00:12:46,052
Yeah. I mean, it's--
clearly the-the heat is...
317
00:12:46,054 --> 00:12:47,470
emanating from, uh...
318
00:12:47,472 --> 00:12:49,255
from this device.
319
00:12:49,257 --> 00:12:52,475
We just, we just
need to... reboot it.
320
00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:02,435
You say the guy's
coming out tomorrow?
321
00:13:02,437 --> 00:13:04,321
Yes, geniuses.
322
00:13:04,323 --> 00:13:05,572
Now, will you
help me figure out
323
00:13:05,574 --> 00:13:07,424
why this algorithm
isn't working?
324
00:13:07,426 --> 00:13:09,776
Maybe it's on a Java break.
325
00:13:11,413 --> 00:13:13,747
Did you get it?
Like java and Java...?
326
00:13:15,916 --> 00:13:18,618
That joke killed
at MIT open mic night.
327
00:13:19,704 --> 00:13:20,754
What do you got?
328
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:25,091
You-- oh... this
pointer is undefined.
329
00:13:25,093 --> 00:13:28,128
Oh. Right. Of course.
330
00:13:30,031 --> 00:13:33,199
So, uh... guess you
got it from here.
331
00:13:33,768 --> 00:13:35,869
What are we waiting for?
332
00:13:35,871 --> 00:13:38,371
I mean, let's just do this.
333
00:13:38,373 --> 00:13:39,939
Really?
334
00:13:42,443 --> 00:13:43,443
What about Barry?
335
00:13:43,445 --> 00:13:45,412
He can film it.
336
00:13:45,414 --> 00:13:46,646
What?
337
00:13:46,648 --> 00:13:48,048
I mean, we're gonna want to
338
00:13:48,050 --> 00:13:50,083
watch it again and again.
339
00:13:50,085 --> 00:13:52,218
You know, maybe even
put it on the Internet.
340
00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:54,654
This is a pleasant surprise.
341
00:13:56,123 --> 00:13:58,091
Here, let's test it.
342
00:13:58,093 --> 00:14:03,229
Oh... yeah, right, the device.
Mm-hmm.
343
00:14:03,231 --> 00:14:05,465
That's exactly what
we were talking about.
344
00:14:05,467 --> 00:14:08,835
Good. Now put that on.
345
00:14:08,837 --> 00:14:11,337
And stop thinking about sex.
346
00:14:11,339 --> 00:14:14,174
Well, it's harder than it looks.
347
00:14:14,176 --> 00:14:16,843
Well, it's a good thing
you taped it down.
348
00:14:19,046 --> 00:14:20,847
Now...
349
00:14:20,849 --> 00:14:23,817
the first thing you think
will be the first human thought
350
00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:25,618
recognized by a computer.
351
00:14:30,291 --> 00:14:31,958
It's not even
reading the device.
352
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,593
Now, you know what?
353
00:14:33,595 --> 00:14:35,228
I think I know what it is.
354
00:14:38,099 --> 00:14:39,232
If it's any consolation,
355
00:14:39,234 --> 00:14:41,701
I thought she was
talking about sex, too.
356
00:14:43,537 --> 00:14:45,772
P.S. Just throwing
this out there:
357
00:14:45,774 --> 00:14:47,073
totally up for filming.
358
00:14:47,075 --> 00:14:49,476
♪ Men. ♪
359
00:14:49,478 --> 00:14:51,344
Uh, uh-uh, let me
ask you something.
360
00:14:51,346 --> 00:14:52,712
Um... uh, how do I put this?
361
00:14:52,714 --> 00:14:56,750
Um... i-i-is there a "grow room"
before the "show room"?
362
00:14:56,752 --> 00:14:59,152
There's a blow room.
363
00:14:59,154 --> 00:15:00,353
How 'bout this?
364
00:15:00,355 --> 00:15:01,921
You said you wanted to
spice things up.
365
00:15:01,923 --> 00:15:03,857
This seems pretty spicy.
366
00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:05,692
And it sure beats the hell
out of couples' therapy, huh, Jeff?
367
00:15:05,694 --> 00:15:08,194
Uh, y-you know,
if Lyndsey is uncomfortable,
368
00:15:08,196 --> 00:15:09,863
why don't you guys take off?
369
00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:10,830
Some people can't handle
370
00:15:10,832 --> 00:15:12,532
seeing their partner
with someone else.
371
00:15:12,534 --> 00:15:15,135
You know what? I'm good.
372
00:15:15,137 --> 00:15:17,287
Besides, I've always
wanted to sleep with Jeff.
373
00:15:17,289 --> 00:15:18,621
Wait. What?
374
00:15:18,623 --> 00:15:20,523
You heard me.
375
00:15:20,525 --> 00:15:22,208
Let's do this thing.
376
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:24,577
I'm gonna go get us
some drinks.
377
00:15:24,579 --> 00:15:25,795
I'll come with you.
378
00:15:25,797 --> 00:15:28,298
You're gonna be
hearing that a lot tonight.
379
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:29,866
Isn't this great, Jeff?
380
00:15:29,868 --> 00:15:31,885
I get to bang Gwen,
and you get to bang Lyndsey.
381
00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:34,170
Yeah, that's one way to go.
382
00:15:34,172 --> 00:15:37,006
Um... Or I-I could
have sex with Gwen,
383
00:15:37,008 --> 00:15:38,424
and you could do
whatever the hell you want.
384
00:15:38,426 --> 00:15:39,976
Come on,
you're telling me
385
00:15:39,978 --> 00:15:40,894
when you're nailing someone,
386
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,395
you never imagined
it was Lyndsey?
387
00:15:42,397 --> 00:15:43,930
Never once.
388
00:15:43,932 --> 00:15:45,715
Well, you got
the green light, buddy.
389
00:15:45,717 --> 00:15:46,983
This is so exciting.
390
00:15:46,985 --> 00:15:49,102
I haven't had sex with
somebody new in a long time.
391
00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:53,072
Yeah, me neither.
392
00:15:54,108 --> 00:15:56,442
♪ Men. ♪
393
00:15:56,444 --> 00:16:00,580
You know...
394
00:16:00,582 --> 00:16:02,231
Okay, there's a reason
I didn't respond
395
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:03,917
the first time you said it.
396
00:16:06,036 --> 00:16:07,620
Walden?
397
00:16:15,012 --> 00:16:17,764
I... need... it.
398
00:16:19,099 --> 00:16:20,116
Walden.
399
00:16:20,118 --> 00:16:22,118
I need it.
What?
400
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:23,469
The file you were
supposed to send me.
401
00:16:23,471 --> 00:16:24,470
I need it.
402
00:16:24,472 --> 00:16:26,756
Oh... uh, yeah, right.
403
00:16:26,758 --> 00:16:28,107
The file. Sorry.
404
00:16:33,364 --> 00:16:37,650
Is... this...
what... you... want...?
405
00:16:41,539 --> 00:16:43,189
Nicole.
Is this what you wanted?
406
00:16:43,191 --> 00:16:44,624
Huh?
407
00:16:44,626 --> 00:16:46,159
The file. It's right here.
408
00:16:46,161 --> 00:16:47,961
Oh. Right. Yeah.
409
00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:49,495
Let me just...
410
00:16:50,714 --> 00:16:52,114
put it in.
411
00:16:54,251 --> 00:16:55,368
Oh, wow...
412
00:16:55,370 --> 00:16:58,221
This really sucks.
413
00:16:58,223 --> 00:17:00,223
We have so much work to do,
and all I can think about
414
00:17:00,225 --> 00:17:01,474
is you and me, and oh, wow.
415
00:17:01,476 --> 00:17:03,643
Gotta stop
thinking about sex.
416
00:17:03,645 --> 00:17:05,228
How are we gonna do that?
417
00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:06,963
Oh, yeah.
418
00:17:06,965 --> 00:17:13,469
That's...
what... daddy... likes...
419
00:17:19,126 --> 00:17:20,193
And that did it.
420
00:17:20,195 --> 00:17:23,329
♪ Men. ♪
421
00:17:23,331 --> 00:17:24,364
Is this seat taken?
422
00:17:24,366 --> 00:17:25,949
Oh.
423
00:17:25,951 --> 00:17:26,916
Very funny.
424
00:17:26,918 --> 00:17:28,518
Okay, good news, bad news.
425
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,536
Bad news, Larry's with Gwen.
426
00:17:30,538 --> 00:17:32,422
Yeah. Not a big surprise.
427
00:17:32,424 --> 00:17:33,923
She's got boobs that could
save your life
428
00:17:33,925 --> 00:17:35,157
in the event
of a water landing.
429
00:17:35,159 --> 00:17:36,960
But the good news is,
430
00:17:36,962 --> 00:17:39,479
guess who's got two thumbs,
and is banging you tonight.
431
00:17:39,481 --> 00:17:41,464
This guy...!
432
00:17:43,851 --> 00:17:44,851
Jeff Probst?!
433
00:17:44,853 --> 00:17:46,886
You ready, babe?
Oh, yeah.
434
00:17:46,888 --> 00:17:48,605
Wait! What the hell?
435
00:17:48,607 --> 00:17:50,172
I told you I wanted
to sleep with Jeff.
436
00:17:50,174 --> 00:17:51,441
But I'm Jeff.
437
00:17:51,443 --> 00:17:52,525
No, you're Alan.
438
00:17:52,527 --> 00:17:55,678
So, what do you say,
blow room first?
439
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,179
If you told Larry
you were gay,
440
00:17:57,181 --> 00:17:58,314
none of this
would have happened.
441
00:17:58,316 --> 00:18:00,233
Wait. That guy's not gay?
442
00:18:01,702 --> 00:18:03,870
♪ Men. ♪
443
00:18:05,023 --> 00:18:07,573
Thanks again for
the birthday pudding, you guys.
444
00:18:08,575 --> 00:18:10,493
I love pudding.
445
00:18:10,495 --> 00:18:12,528
It's even fun to say.
446
00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:14,414
Pu-dding.
447
00:18:14,416 --> 00:18:17,583
I'm putting pudding in my mouth.
448
00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:20,637
Oh, my God.
That's funny.
449
00:18:21,890 --> 00:18:25,308
Looks like the
birthday weed is kicking in.
450
00:18:25,310 --> 00:18:27,727
Putting pudding.
Putting pudding.
451
00:18:27,729 --> 00:18:30,063
Okay. Now I'm gonna
switch it up,
452
00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:33,599
and see if you can
tell the difference.
453
00:18:33,601 --> 00:18:36,769
Pudding putting.
454
00:18:36,771 --> 00:18:38,187
Pudding putting.
455
00:18:38,189 --> 00:18:40,073
Oh, my God.
I got it.
456
00:18:40,758 --> 00:18:42,392
Did you?
457
00:18:42,394 --> 00:18:44,160
The-The-The function.
458
00:18:44,162 --> 00:18:45,194
It's recursive.
459
00:18:45,196 --> 00:18:46,946
It keeps getting stuck
in the subroutine.
460
00:18:46,948 --> 00:18:48,281
This is, this is it.
461
00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:49,532
You sure?
462
00:18:49,534 --> 00:18:52,118
Yeah. No, check it out.
463
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,202
This is history.
464
00:18:53,204 --> 00:18:55,237
This is like
Alexander Graham Bell saying,
465
00:18:55,239 --> 00:18:56,706
"Watson, come here."
466
00:18:56,708 --> 00:19:00,960
This is Neil Armstrong saying,
"One small step for man."
467
00:19:00,962 --> 00:19:03,513
This is Walden Schmidt saying...
468
00:19:03,515 --> 00:19:04,814
Pudding.
469
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:07,633
Aw, damn it, Barry!
470
00:19:07,635 --> 00:19:09,435
You put pudding in my head!
471
00:19:09,437 --> 00:19:11,087
Putting pudding.
472
00:19:11,955 --> 00:19:15,424
Or, putting pudding.
473
00:19:15,426 --> 00:19:17,727
I was gonna say,
"The future is now."
474
00:19:17,729 --> 00:19:19,979
"The future is now"?
475
00:19:19,981 --> 00:19:22,532
What is this,
the 1912 World's Fair?
476
00:19:24,084 --> 00:19:25,451
Excuse me, guys.
What?
477
00:19:25,453 --> 00:19:27,487
I think the computer
just read his thoughts.
478
00:19:28,789 --> 00:19:30,439
We did it!
Oh, my God.
479
00:19:30,441 --> 00:19:31,557
We did it!
It worked.
480
00:19:31,559 --> 00:19:33,626
It worked!
481
00:19:33,628 --> 00:19:35,461
Yes!
482
00:19:35,463 --> 00:19:37,663
Someone's not wearing a bra.
483
00:19:37,665 --> 00:19:39,132
What?!
I...
484
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:40,750
Stop thinking about sex.
485
00:19:40,752 --> 00:19:44,220
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs.
Baseball. Baseball.
486
00:19:46,724 --> 00:19:49,342
This was a great idea, Walden.
487
00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:52,478
It was.
You're so beautiful.
488
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:56,399
Thank you.
And you're so handsome.
489
00:19:56,401 --> 00:19:58,935
I am so turned on, Nicole.
490
00:19:58,937 --> 00:20:00,536
So am I.
491
00:20:00,538 --> 00:20:02,271
Uh-oh. Baseball.
492
00:20:02,273 --> 00:20:04,657
Baseball. Baseball.
493
00:20:04,659 --> 00:20:06,476
Oh, crap.
494
00:20:06,478 --> 00:20:08,077
Now I want pudding.
495
00:20:08,079 --> 00:20:10,363
♪ Men. ♪
496
00:20:15,962 --> 00:20:18,264
♪ Men. ♪
497
00:20:22,519 --> 00:20:26,522
This is gym class
all over again.
498
00:20:26,524 --> 00:20:30,660
Last man picked
and I have an unwanted boner.
499
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:32,862
I wouldn't say it's unwanted.
500
00:20:34,915 --> 00:20:36,833
Oh. Hello.
501
00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:40,119
Well, looks like
it's just you and me.
502
00:20:40,121 --> 00:20:42,922
Yeah... Jeff Probst
stole my girlfriend.
503
00:20:42,924 --> 00:20:43,956
Bastard.
504
00:20:43,958 --> 00:20:46,209
He's my grandson.
505
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:50,263
Wow! Uh, I-I-I can't believe
he'd bring his grandmother
506
00:20:50,265 --> 00:20:51,464
to a party like this.
507
00:20:51,466 --> 00:20:54,967
He can't bring me
to my own party.
508
00:20:54,969 --> 00:20:56,552
Wait, but this is your house?
509
00:20:56,554 --> 00:20:57,553
That's right.
510
00:20:57,555 --> 00:20:58,554
What do you say?
511
00:20:58,556 --> 00:21:01,391
You want to go road test
this new hip?
512
00:21:02,843 --> 00:21:05,010
All right. Why not?
513
00:21:05,012 --> 00:21:07,613
Well, we'll start
in the grow room. Come on.
514
00:21:07,615 --> 00:21:09,399
Oh, this is a beautiful house.
Do you have a guest room?
515
00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:14,401
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net