1
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,160
No, I can't come home this time.

2
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,080
Yes, I eat on time.

3
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,120
You don't have to call every week.
Understand.

4
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,480
I've an image among my friends.

5
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:20,760
Yes have got a sem back

6
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,480
You know it. You've seen my result.

7
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:23,680
And still, you're asking.

8
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,160
Happy? Did you have fun?

9
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:26,800
Now hang up.

10
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,960
Fine. I am fine. Now hang up.

11
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:33,080
Hail Lord.

12
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:36,520
Mom or Dad?

13
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:38,320
Dealer...for my home.

14
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,280
Asshole.

15
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:45,200
How many times have I
said go smoke in your own room?

16
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,800
Early morning you've
turned my room into Delhi NCR.

17
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,200
Listen, bumpkin, this is my room.

18
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:52,360
Look there.

19
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,280
You had a fight with Chirag
yesterday over a blanket.

20
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,040
Since then you've been lying flat here.

21
00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,320
And the pollution in Delhi is because
you guys are burning weed in the village.

22
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,640
Look mister,
no need to be Kejriwal in the morning.

23
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,520
And don't remind me of my village.

24
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,960
They don't shrug your
blanket as Chirag do.

25
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:12,680
Nor does anyone blabber "Slowly
Akku" in their sleep like Ankit.

26
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,320
In the village, when a person wakes up

27
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:19,600
he gets to the open blue sky.

28
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,480
Do you sleep on the road?

29
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,160
I sleep on the terrace, you fool.

30
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,280
And only two things can wake me up.

31
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,720
Crow's poop or Salena's shriek.

32
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,040
Gomez?

33
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,080
Bhaati.
Salena Bhaati.

34
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,160
My buffalo.

35
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,960
And her skin glows
brighter than Salena Gomez.

36
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,040
Gomez!

37
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,520
I'll be back in a while.

38
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,080
Bro, we're getting tomorrow's
bus ticket. Shall we book it?

39
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,360
Why stay another day?
What say?

40
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:58,920
I would rather leave today,
but...I've to get a golden bell.

41
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,040
It's a surprise for Salena.

42
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:04,360
Show me.

43
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,400
I am sorry, Jhantoo.

44
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,600
I know how you're feeling.

45
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,680
I see... and how am I feeling?

46
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:17,240
Just that we're all
going home but you can't.

47
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,240
I can see your pain.

48
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:24,440
You fool,
he isn't sad about not going home.

49
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,360
He's sad because he can't
return our 2500 rupees.

50
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:29,600
It's okay, Jhantoo.

51
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:33,280
When your guilt becomes bigger
then you can return my 2500 rupees.

52
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,720
With interest.

53
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,720
Hey...are you okay?

54
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,720
yes, I am okay.
What can be wrong with me?

55
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:44,800
Weren't you staying?

56
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,000
You said your mom
and dad had an argument.

57
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,480
They patched up.

58
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,240
It's not America where every
quarrel is settled with a divorce.

59
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:57,240
Jaat. You know you can
sleep all you want in the hostel.

60
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:58,640
Absolutely right.

61
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,000
But Salena is having her mood swings.

62
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,400
If I don't go home she
will screw someone else.

63
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,880
And you, Doremon,
you're staying, aren't you?

64
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,800
You were supposed to tutor me.

65
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:10,680
What happened?

66
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:15,280
Whenever I try to teach you,
you tell me statue.

67
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,240
What can I do?

68
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:18,880
Over.

69
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,880
Jhantoo, bro

70
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,080
is everything alright?

71
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,360
Are you crazy?

72
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,400
Jhantoo goes home only
when he's in the mood.

73
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:42,720
The entire common area will be empty.

74
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:43,840
No crowd in the mess.

75
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,600
I won't have to pass my joint either.

76
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,400
In fact, I won't have
to go to the bathroom to pee.

77
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,160
I'll pee right here on the third floor.

78
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,800
From the third floor,
I'll pee on the fifth floor.

79
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,120
What else do I want?

80
00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,280
I'll be right back.

81
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,040
I can't stay here any longer.

82
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,800
The hostel is fine but
it's not like the village.

83
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,280
Listen

84
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,200
is father around.

85
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,480
Then say it.

86
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,680
Come on...

87
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:21,320
One...two...three...

88
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,960
My dear Tesla's Terrorists.

89
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,720
So excited to meet guys
in few days for Formula 1 race.

90
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,760
This time we'll try out
the Bernoulli's Principle

91
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:43,280
You know guys, I think all my
talents are misused here in the hostel.

92
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,760
Yesterday I showed
my friends the North Star

93
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,720
and they started dancing
on "Taare Gin Gin".

94
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,400
And they think the Big
Bang Theory is a comedy show.

95
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,480
And that Jhantoo...

96
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,080
Yes. He's a real person.

97
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,240
He keeps abusing all day.

98
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,960
Guys, I had something to say.

99
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,080
Get that glitched fixed

100
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:07,040
because of which I get removed
from the Whatsapp group every time.

101
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,640
PS...I've a crush on Alexa.

102
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,720
What a voice, man.

103
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,560
I hope Siri doesn't find out.

104
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,080
Well, see you guy later. Bye.

105
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,200
Hi Dalji.

106
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,520
All good.

107
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,400
What do you have for us today?

108
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,360
Oh, God.

109
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,760
Forget it.
Just pass me the salad with some salt.

110
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,800
Take it. This is today's special.

111
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,920
Special?

112
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,320
Did your mother do the cooking today?

113
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,000
Or were you generous to
add cottage cheese to the curry?

114
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,320
Or did you forget to add
syrup to the mixed vegetables

115
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,160
or did you accidentally
add lentil to the water?

116
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,960
What is special today?

117
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,080
Even mid-day meal serves better food,
you know.

118
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,080
I know...even I eat there.

119
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:00,600
Asshole.

120
00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:08,680
Listen...

121
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,000
Yes, brother.

122
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,320
Next time you go for the mid-day meal,
let me know.

123
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:13,280
Of course.

124
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,160
- Do you have my number?
- Yes.

125
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,160
You were supposed
to stay in the holidays?

126
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,240
Yes, sir.

127
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,120
But you see, mom and dad are
going to Vaishno Devi (pilgrimage).

128
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,720
Good. Religion is important.

129
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,640
No, sir.
They are going on the pilgrimage.

130
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,520
You see, the house is empty.

131
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,920
So Puja will come
home and I will see her.

132
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,000
Hello, sir. Keys.

133
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:42,480
You too.

134
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,520
Who's got such a long signature?

135
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,240
Donation.

136
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,600
Happy vacation, sir.

137
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,560
Happy vacation, asshole.

138
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:07,640
Didn't anyone tell you that
wheels have been invented for bags?

139
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,080
Okay, brother. Don't forget
to write when you get there.

140
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,480
And 50 rupees for this.

141
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:12,760
I said 30 rupees.

142
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,400
We'll definitely write
to you and we'll Paytm it to you.

143
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,400
I'll pay you 50 rupees when I come back.

144
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,640
Fine, you can pay 60.

145
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,080
Take care, Rakhi.

146
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,160
Take care, brother.

147
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,640
Miss me. Don't forget me.

148
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,960
Bye Mukesh Khanna.

149
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,400
Hostel President.

150
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,200
Hostel President.

151
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,600
I really had a blast with you guys.

152
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:35,960
Come soon.

153
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,200
Of course.

154
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,320
Akanksha is my girl!

155
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:26,720
Mine!

156
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:31,080
'Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!'

157
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,080
This Bansal has changed a lot.

158
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,720
Yeah, I personally feel we
should remove him from the group again.

159
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:25,680
Let's do that.

160
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:26,800
Yeah...

161
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,040
One penny in the plate,
Edison down the drain.

162
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,640
No one ever come's
late in Tesla's terrorists.

163
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,920
Rule no 1. You made this.

164
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,320
Sorry.
So sorry guys.

165
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,320
But enough of this.
What's the agenda for today.

166
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,560
Okay guys, so here's the plan.

167
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,280
We're going to roast Net Guruji today.

168
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,880
He didn't convert energy to
kilojoule and talks about dash charging.

169
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,320
Asshole.

170
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:08,800
Here you go.

171
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,440
kya hai?

172
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:24,640
You know what, take this
money and buy your favourite sweets.

173
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,080
I'll transfer these next week.

174
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:33,520
One more sweetmeat?

175
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,240
Extras are only on Sundays...

176
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,320
- What happened?
- Nothing.

177
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:56,280
So Salena, how did you like my gift?

178
00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:01,000
Now, whenever you say yes, I'll know.

179
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:05,320
You fool, that's going
to ring even if she says no.

180
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,760
Are you going to stay
with Salena all night?

181
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:09,760
Here...

182
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,560
We want milk.

183
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,800
Dung in this one. And urine in this one.

184
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,280
I won't pee in a bucket, father.

185
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,440
Salena's pee...

186
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,320
Father, I have to study.

187
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,920
The college says if I don't
submit the assignment on time

188
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,160
then they won't return the deposit.

189
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,400
Studying?

190
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,400
When you were young, you used to insist.

191
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,440
I'll milch her father, I'll milch her.

192
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,320
Now milch now.

193
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,880
I'll take you to our
fields in the morning.

194
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:41,960
I just seized a new land.

195
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:46,080
Come on, son. Hurry up.

196
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,640
This one for milk. That one for the pee.

197
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:59,320
Now I understand what no means no is.

198
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,160
I'll go take a walk.

199
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,120
Why what happened?

200
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,160
Nothing.

201
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,240
At the hostel,
I had a habit of walking after dinner.

202
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,400
No need.

203
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,560
It's not safe outside, dear.

204
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,160
It's 9 o'clock.

205
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,440
What do you mean by not safe?
I won't get kidnapped.

206
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,040
- Ankit.
- It's only 9 o'clock.

207
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,880
Hello!

208
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,400
Hello!

209
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,600
Anybody there?

210
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:55,000
Anybody there who would
want to share a cigarette?

211
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:59,680
Smoke a joint. Roll a joint.

212
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,240
Anybody there?

213
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:07,520
Ladies and gentlemen,
here's presenting...

214
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,880
Dr. Jhantoo Kishore.

215
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:58,480
Yes.

216
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,240
Ankit, it's been 30 minutes.

217
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,160
Are you okay?

218
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,040
Yes, I am fine.

219
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,560
I knew I made the chicken too spicy.

220
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,080
Is it a bad stomach?

221
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,840
No, mom, I am fine.

222
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,200
Just give me 10 minutes.
I am coming out.

223
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,440
What things did he
learn from that hostel?

224
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,320
Okay, guys, I am sorry.

225
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,040
But hey stupid is allowed.

226
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,360
Today it's hey stupid

227
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:33,280
tomorrow, god forbid,
what if you call us a dog?

228
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,360
Why would I say that? I am not that bad.

229
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,280
Even I have some ethics.

230
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,560
Look, Bansal, that's not it.

231
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,280
- Aunty told us.
- What?

232
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,640
Since you got here you've
been skipping breakfast.

233
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,040
Direct lunch.

234
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,000
Breakfast is the most
important meal, Bansal.

235
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,640
In fact, poor children should
be given a mid-day breakfast

236
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,400
instead of a mid-day meal.

237
00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,280
Your idea. Do you remember?

238
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:01,920
Yes, I remember.

239
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:08,160
I think Bansal's done that too.

240
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:12,280
Did what?

241
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,680
Without protection...

242
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,920
third-party app install.

243
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,640
Fuck it...

244
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,080
Ohhh... Sorry.

245
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:38,960
Father.

246
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:43,240
Giggu.

247
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,640
It's seven o'clock.
Even Selena must be asleep.

248
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,760
But Jhantoo must have woken up now?

249
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:08,400
Hello.

250
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:09,640
Hey rascal

251
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:13,400
finally got some time off from screwing
Salena that you're calling me now?

252
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:17,240
Don't ask too many questions, Jhantoo.
You just speak.

253
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,680
What's the matter?

254
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,360
And you, Gol Bahadur DK.

255
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,200
Met your friends, motherfucker?

256
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:28,440
Say that again, Jhantoo, please.

257
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,760
Can I say you're an ass?

258
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,960
You've grown wings.

259
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,400
That bloody Ankit is calling me.

260
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,880
You guys never even thought
of me for the last 17-days.

261
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,320
And now you three are calling together.

262
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,600
So rascals...

263
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:46,080
You pimp...did you get
time from wanking yourself.

264
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,480
Forget about me. What about you?

265
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,360
Are you in the wing or the quadrangle?

266
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,920
What did you do all these days?

267
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:56,160
What do I say? Rakhi and
I watch porn on the projector now.

268
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,280
Daily.

269
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,920
Even our tipping point has synced now.

270
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,280
And yes, DOPA, here's a trivia for you.

271
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:04,120
There's a beauty spot
on Sasha Grey's left thigh.

272
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,200
No, that's a fake.

273
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,320
And...I smoke a joint in the auditorium.

274
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:13,200
I yell abuses in the corridor.
My voice echoes here. Feels like music.

275
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,280
Feels literally music to my ears.

276
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,720
So what about you guys? How is home?

277
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:22,080
Hello.

278
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,640
Hello.

279
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:24,720
Hello.

280
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:25,800
You cunts...

281
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:29,800
No, Jhantoo, it's a lot of fun.

282
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,640
Tell me the truth.

283
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:37,560
Obviously, mom is such a good
cook that I don't even miss cigarette.

284
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:40,880
Is it true?

285
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:46,120
Jhantoo, Salena's so crazy about me

286
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,200
that she starts milking
at the sight of me.

287
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,600
Be happy.

288
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,120
You've finally find Salena's Bieber.

289
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,360
Come on...
Leave them.

290
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,720
Wow...Rupesh, congrats...

291
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:06,520
In fact, I taught my friends
how to search nude pics on Google.

292
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,200
And they loved it.

293
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,880
They thought cream
pie is just a dessert.

294
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,040
I taught them to abuse.

295
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,840
In fact, now they abuse
better than you, Jhantoo.

296
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,400
And the really bad ones.

297
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,280
Hello.

298
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,480
Hello. Hello.

299
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:31,880
- What happened?
- Hello.

300
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,000
Hello. Jhantoo...

301
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,600
- Can you hear me?
- Jhantoo.

302
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,760
Asshole.

303
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:19,880
Jhantoo bro...I heard you're
showing porn in the common room.

304
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:24,240
How about inviting me too?

305
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,680
By the way, it's not his fault.

306
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,800
This is the atmosphere
of an empty hostel.

307
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,880
The wifi speed increases.

308
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,720
But after downloading
so many anime videos

309
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,880
who are you going to
show your collection to?

310
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,120
You'll even find the washroom's free.

311
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:53,160
But you won't hear the latest Punjabi
music coming from the next commode.

312
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,120
And what if your birthday
falls during this period?

313
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,920
You can escape GPL

314
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,000
but you'll have to cut the cake alone.

315
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,280
And thoughts...

316
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,760
Thoughts become so negative
that it scares you.

317
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,640
Because there's no one to wake you up.

318
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,240
What if he dies in his sleep?

319
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,960
Where is Kavita bhabhi sitting today?

320
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,120
Get lost!

321
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,480
No, I've finished packing.

322
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,080
Yes the bus is scheduled for tonite.

323
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,760
Where else will I
go if I don't come home?

324
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:32,360
And listen, I want three
packets ready when I reach home.

325
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,000
Don't give me the old stuff
like last time, or else...

326
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,120
I don't want the old stuff.

327
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,800
Okay, fine. Bye.

328
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,560
Can I finish packing now?

329
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,440
Bye.

330
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:46,400
Dealer?

331
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:47,560
Mom.

332
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,240
I meant the sweetmeats.

333
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,840
I've packed some clothes
for you from the senior's room

334
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,280
to show that you change every day.

335
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,000
Good. And you? Did you finish packing?

336
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,680
No, I am not going.

337
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,360
What do you mean I am not going?

338
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,080
I am going to Jhabua...I
am going home after so long.

339
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,160
Away from this prison. Do you get it?

340
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:12,560
Yes...you'll have a blast in Jhabua.

341
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,480
We waste so much time at home.

342
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,520
Then we get admission in
college with great difficulty.

343
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:22,320
There's no fun in going
home with this loser face.

344
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,280
I'll go home when I achieve something.

345
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:34,840
Rakhi...

346
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,120
couldn't you have told
me if you ran out of weed?

347
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,200
Open Chirag's cupboard,
take his bonsai out.

348
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,280
Pull it out from the root
and you'll find two packets.

349
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:44,480
No, that's not...

350
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,920
- Okay.
- Go on.

351
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:27,280
Jhantoo, you asshole!

352
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,360
Stop. Stop.

353
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:45,680
For a year...

354
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:47,800
A year I was wearing this broken sandal.

355
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,280
I was going to have it repaired.

356
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,560
But you guys met.

357
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:52,480
Wait a minute.

358
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:58,240
You came back because you dreamt
that I was doing sex chat with Akanksha.

359
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,120
Don't be crazy.

360
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,200
Are you?

361
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,960
And you came back to
tutor me for the exams?

362
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,240
Of course. Who else will tutor you?

363
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,640
And you, mister, you came back

364
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,640
because Rakhi told you
that my dick isn't responding

365
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:15,960
and you got me some pills.

366
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,600
I came because I was
getting bored at home.

367
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:19,840
But did you get me something?

368
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,920
Dickheads, come on.
Start narrating your home tales.

369
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,760
You first, Mr. Pandey.

370
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,040
That place is a dungeon
that has no secrets...

371
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,600
First I've to make thousands
of excuses to get out of the house.

372
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:41,680
And even if I get out, I've to find
a place where no one recognises you.

373
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,640
That's the fucking
problem with small towns.

374
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,200
You're more scared of
your relatives than the Police.

375
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,200
I took a long way around
and reached the station

376
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,360
and bought a cigarette
from the local shop

377
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,600
when the shop owner said "Ankit,
I heard you made it to the second year".

378
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,680
I thought I'll put out the
cigarette when again he said...

379
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,960
"Don't worry,
even your papa comes here."

380
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,520
What the fuck do I do?

381
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,080
And you.

382
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,480
You were suppose to tell us the
exact date and time of apocalypse.

383
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:10,400
- What happened?
- Don't ask.

384
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,720
I thought my friends
would be more mature than me.

385
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,200
But they are just like
your ejaculation, Jhantoo.

386
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:17,920
Very smart.

387
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,040
First, they had a
problem with my abuses.

388
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:25,160
And when I thought of showing
them American Pie as a fun activity

389
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,280
they impeached me from the group.

390
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:29,360
The same group which I founded.

391
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:30,520
Wait a second.

392
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,200
You thought of showing
them American Pie.

393
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,960
Yes. Naked Mile.

394
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:38,320
You've grown up...

395
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,520
And why don't you say your tale too?

396
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:44,040
Well at my place we let
our hands do most of the talking.

397
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:49,800
Just add milk, curd,
buffalo, father, Bieber.

398
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:50,440
to whatever they said.

399
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:51,280
Rest same.

400
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:52,520
What is Bieber?

401
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,280
My Salena's boyfriend.

402
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:01,520
And from a different caste.

403
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,000
What's the matter?

404
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,520
This is a boy's hostel.
Everything goes here.

405
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,080
That's not it.

406
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:23,880
We all think we're the main lead in our
lives and the rest are supporting cast.

407
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:25,640
I disagree.

408
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:30,080
You guys are the main lead in my life.

409
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,240
And I am the Satish Kaushik.

410
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:43,760
So did you see...

411
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:49,480
These assholes set out from home
like Imtiaz Ali's hero to see the world.

412
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,120
And come back home for peace and quiet.

413
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:56,120
But after staying in the hostel
when they can't adjust at home

414
00:27:56,200 --> 00:28:00,240
they don't have any other refuge to
go to nor are they talented like Ranbir.

415
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,600
And Kashmiri girlfriend
is out of the question.

416
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,200
So in this case they
come back to the hostel.

417
00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:09,920
Kyunki after a roundtrip
from home they realise

418
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000
there's only one warden in the hostel.

419
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,480
But at home, there are two.

420
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:19,680
If you dirty your home, there's chaos.
You've to clean up the place.

421
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,560
But the hostel is a blast.

422
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,680
Hostel belongs to someone else and
you can spread all the filth you want.

423
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,160
No one says anything.

424
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,040
One also runs short of money.

425
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,760
But no one stops
you from spending money.

426
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:36,760
And the food's terrible. Awful.

427
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,320
But no one forces
you to wash your plate.

428
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,440
In short,
the hostel is like a cute girlfriend

429
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,760
who is neither demanding
nor complaining.

430
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,400
And also teaches you
something new every day.

431
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,400
What's more... a four-year
relationship is guaranteed...

432
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:58,960
At least...